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Celebritology 2.0: May 25, 2008 - May 31, 2008

'Lost' Dueling Analyses: There's No Place Like Home, Parts 2 & 3

In which the verbose Jen Chaney and I attempt to wring every last bit of significance from last night's two-hour season finale. Join us online at 2 p.m. ET to talk about all this and more. Oh, and warning: There are spoilers here. Jen: At approximately 11:05 p.m. last night, I found myself with the Pixies CD "Doolittle" in hand, perusing the lyrics to "Gouge Away." That was the song Jack was listening to in the final few minutes of what can only be described as a tremendous, revelatory finale. The fact that the Pixies came before and influenced Nirvana -- the band blaring from Jack's car stereo during last season's finale -- suggest that our Losties still have lessons to learn from their pasts. Jack should have heeded the warnings of our coffin inhabitant, the dearly departed John Locke. And instead of taking Ben at his word, Locke...

By Liz Kelly  | May 30, 2008; 10:18 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Lost  
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Morning Mix: Bill Murray's Wife Alleges Abuse

Headlines: Alleging abuse, Bill Murray's wife files for divorce... Lawyer says Britney Spears not fit enough to go to court yet... Scarlett Johannson sells only 5,000 of Tom Waits tribute... Steven Tyler says he's in rehab for his feet... Toni Braxton cancels Vegas gigs to concentrate on health... Bill Cosby sells fabled sweaters for charity... Harvey Korman dead at 81... Coroner says Sean Levert died of natural causes. Pix: 91-year-old Kirk Douglas hits the playground. Rumor Mill: Clay Aiken to be a father... Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart not engaged, says rep... Britney Spears wants her own sitcom... Carnie Wilson penning memoir about lifelong weight struggle... Pete Wentz's wedding gift to Ashlee Simpson: A giant Lego bumblebee... Rod Stewart keeps oxygen tanks backstage at concerts (second to last item)....

By Liz Kelly  | May 30, 2008; 7:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (94)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Books: Studying Steven Seagal

(Titan Books) It's time we put away childish things and talked about a real celebrity. Someone who truly walks on air miles above our tragically un-famous heads; who redefined the very ideal of super-stardom by his mere existence and who makes other pretenders to the highest realms of celebrity (sorry Angelina) resemble Bronson Pinchot or that girl who played the cheesy robot daughter in '80s syndicated sitcom "Small Wonder." That's right. I'm talking about Steven Seagal, a real star. A guy who is so famous and so enlightened that even he is awed by his prowess. A guy who doesn't need hordes of paparazzi following his every move to validate his relevance. A man so dang good at what he does that we are sometimes afraid to look upon his rightness and recognize his preeminence as the star of all stars. Well, all of us except this guy named...

By Liz Kelly  | May 29, 2008; 10:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (29)
Categories:  Miscellaneous, Pop Culture  
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Morning Mix: Report -- George Clooney Single Again

Naomi Campbell leaves the police station at London's Heathrow Airport after being formally charged with assaulting a police officer at the airport in April. (AP) Headlines: Sharon Stone apologizes for China quake "karma" remark... Judge approves Madonna's Malawi adoption... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz confirm it: baby on the way... Usher slams rumors of marital trouble, says he and Tameka are "in love"... Paul McCartney steps out with new girlfriend... Woody Harrelson plans 40-day surfing fast... Dunkin' Donuts yanks Rachael Ray ad over concerns about scarf resembling a keffiyeh... Brat packer Ally Sheedy divorcing husband of 15 years... Matthew McConaughey's brother "Rooster" signs on to reality show... K-Fed and Chris Crocker ("Leave Britney alone!") in new Weezer video.... Chuck Norris drops lawsuit against author of spoof book. Pix: The Lohan girls hit Manhattan... Not even David Hasselhoff can rock a leather shirt. Crime Watch: Gary Dourdan won't go to...

By Liz Kelly  | May 29, 2008; 7:55 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (102)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Reality Check: Living La Vida Lohan

If you disliked Dina Lohan (aka "White Oprah") before -- as the hard-partying mother of Lindsay, whose very public divorce battle with then-incarcerated husband Michael made for tabloid gold -- you'll full on detest her after watching just one episode -- approximately 22 minutes, sans commercials -- of E!'s latest foray into celeb-reality, "Living Lohan." I endured Monday night's debut episode to deliver to you, in convenient digested (and regurgitated) form, this important message: Don't watch. Why? First off, Dina is not a likeable sort of woman. She's crass. She's overwhelmed by a flowing mane of hair extensions. She describes herself as daughter Ali's "manager" more than as her "mother." Think "Real Housewives of NYC" meets Joan Crawford and you're on the right track. I had an unshakeable urge to key her Range Rover or push her down off the four-inch stiletto heels she wears around the house. And...

By Liz Kelly  | May 28, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (48)
Categories:  Lindsay Lohan, Reality Check  
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Morning Mix: Britney Reportedly Dating, Y'All

Headlines: Patrick Swayze says he's responding well to cancer treatment... Shiloh Jolie-Pitt turns two... Kirsten Dunst says she went to rehab for "depression"... Michael Lohan says he doesn't care if Lindsay's gay... Martin Sheen tells AARP crowd all about son Charlie's drug use... James Gandolfini selling "Sopranos" wardrobe for charity... Producer turned rapper turned designer and, now, screenwriter Diddy inspired by Cannes... Jena Malone ("Donnie Darko") invents instrument, busks... Kim Catrall hopes for second "Sex and the City" movie... Rapper Xzibit loses newborn son... Tori Spelling to cameo on "90210" spin-off... Kirk Cameron ("Growing Pains") says he can sympathize with Lindsay and Britney... Sanjaya Malakar films insurance company ad... Flavor Flav engaged... Kate Beckinsale hits the beach in heels. Rumor Mill: Britney Spears dating talent agent... Dylan McDermott acting as his own lawyer in divorce... Brangelina only renting $60 million French estate....

By Liz Kelly  | May 28, 2008; 7:51 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (45)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Insta-Poll: Miley's Mileage?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time and I'm starting to think that there may be more method than madness to Miley Cyrus's continuing parade of scantily-clad pix. Over the weekend, yet more DIY pix of the 15-year-old Disney star in her undies surfaced. And, on the heels of the Great Leibovitz Portrait Debate and Cyrus's previous homemade shots, well, one has to start wondering why pop Billy Ray doesn't take this girl's digicam and lock it in the family safe. Left: Annie Leibovitz's portrait of Miley Cyrus. Right: The June cover. (Images courtesy Vanity Fair) Of course, there's the merest chance that these photos are doctored, but the poses in the new pix echo earlier shots of Cyrus that later proved to be genuine. And with a new album due out in July and a memoir set to hit...

By Liz Kelly  | May 27, 2008; 11:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Celebrities, Miley Cyrus  
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Morning Mix: New Racy Miley Cyrus Pix Surface

Mariah Carey, complete with new husband Nick Cannon, arrives in Japan to promote her new album. (AP) Headlines: More racy Miley Cyrus photos hit the net (NSFW)... Sidney Pollack succumbs to cancer at 73... "Laugh-in's" Dick Martin dead at 86... Sharon Stone calls China earthquake "karma"... Jessica Lange denounces Iraq war... Christina Aguilera tops best celeb wedding gown list... Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo reunite for Memorial Day weekend... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz weren't honeymooning in the basement after all... Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson get close at Cannes... Yale gives Paul McCartney honorary music degree... Bruce Springsteen endorses Barack Obama... Brooke Hogan involved in minor car accident. Rumor Mill: Madonna and Guy Ritchie headed for a split?... Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer dating for three months before public debut... Brangelina buy $60 million French chateau... Britney Spears planning Las Vegas comeback concert... Patrick Swayze and wife renew...

By Liz Kelly  | May 27, 2008; 7:57 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (0)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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