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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 05/15/2008

For Oprah, the Golden Touch

By Liz Kelly

There's just something unnerving about a disembodied Oprah head floating in space and crowned with two dogs.

I'm not the world's biggest Oprah fan, as has been made abundantly clear here in the past. The woman has an outsized ego and way too much sway over the minds (and spending habits) of middle America. That's why when I saw that Oprah was the latest subject of the one-note celeb-centric artist Daniel Edwards (yes, the same guy who brought us the NSFW Britney giving birth and Paris Hilton autopsy sculptures), my face immediately mimicked the look it gets when I find my own dog has unceremoniously left a present in the middle of the living room rug.


(Image courtesy Leo Kesting Gallery)

As if flesh-and-blood Oprah wasn't bad enough, Edwards has transformed Winfrey into a golden goddess, replete with flowing mane and supporting life-sized likenesses of her dead dogs Sophie and Gracie atop her stately head. Yes, that's right. She's immortalized toting two dogs on her noggin -- which may just be slightly more asinine than Sarah Jessica Parker's "Sex and the City" premiere hat and conjures up many questions about sanitation and, like, if there's a dog park or something up there for them to relieve themselves. I know I'm being too literal and not sitting back and letting the "artiness" of the experience wash over me, but we're already being asked to disregard several laws of physics and the fact that the real Oprah would have Gayle King -- not her dogs -- perched up there.

The big gold O also immediately clicked in my mind with promos for the upcoming latest installment of the Indiana Jones franchise and I couldn't help but imagine Indy transported through time to present day Chicago, working his way through a series of false idols (Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, Tyra Banks) before securing the Oprah-dog-deity totem and keeping it safe from the clutches of malevolent forces. And, leading up to the movie's release, Oprah could give one of these puppies (hehehe) away to each audience member. Who wants a fossil-fuel guzzling Ford Focus when you can have a genuine objet d'art? Even if it does look like it was spray-painted with Krylon Glistening Gold (no. 401) and custom-made to top a low-rent Liberace's piano?

The sculpture, according to promotional material, is meant to raise awareness about the dangers pets face in the home -- one of Oprah's dogs died when she choked on a ball last year. It's also the artist's second run at Oprah -- who he has said is the closest thing America has to a deity -- as subject material. Earlier this year, he debuted the Egyptian-esque Oprah Sarcophagus to an equally sickened-yet-fascinated public.

All I know is I've got one sparsely decorated mantel just waiting for a little Oprah-style bling. Hint hint.

By Liz Kelly  | May 15, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Extreme Fans, Miscellaneous  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: Twins For Brangelina
Next: Morning Mix: Britney Vacations With Mel Gibson

Comments

Who buys this crap?

Posted by: Anonymous | May 15, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Maybe the same people who would get tatoos of their pets, but have more money.

Posted by: Kris | May 15, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

this is supposed to be serious art right? because it looks like something you would see in those awful tacky furniture stores in the mall.

Posted by: melissamac1 | May 15, 2008 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I assumed she ordered two, for either side of her driveway. Then I saw this:

http://caplakesting.com/danedwards/oprah_puppies.htm

and figured the Oprah head / "O" sculptures would work better for outside.

If it weren't for Debra Wilson's spot-on parodies of Oprah on MADtv, I couldn't stomach that woman at all. Enough already.

Posted by: td | May 15, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

A little Oprah-style blingl for your sparsely decorated mantel:

Will you settle for a Barbie Doll spraypainted with that Krylon 401 and dressed up as Chatwoman?

We can pass that hat around and see if there's enough to commission an artist to do that. (I think we can safely assume Kris will decline to contribute.)

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

The sculpture should be named:

"Why do you ask, Two Dogs?"

For the rest of the story behind this name, read the entry at
http://hre.com/discus/messages/1062/1432.html?1075783787

Posted by: Sasquatch | May 15, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse


Miniaturize and separate the sculptures and they can be used as Monopoly playing pieces. The dogs can replace the Scottish Terrier, and Oprah can replace the Wheelbarrow. Kids everywhere will fight to see who gets to be the Oprah Head.

Posted by: Moneybags | May 15, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Is Daniel Edwards a follower of Robert Kinkaid? Should we expect to see these for sale in the back of Parade magazine next to the mail order polyester pants (with pleats)?

Posted by: Red Dragon | May 15, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

I mean Thomas Kinkade. Robert Kincaid was the doof in Bridges of Madison County.

Posted by: Red Dragon | May 15, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

I tend to think of Daniel Edwards as closer to Damian Hirst (shark-in-a-box, skull made of diamonds) than Thomas Kincaid. Hirst's materials are much more inventive, but they both go for shock value. Hirst does seem to have a bit more thought behind his pieces as well, albeit very, very strange thought.

Posted by: musicgeek | May 15, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

not only are the dogs life sized, but the head is, too.

Posted by: other liz | May 15, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Wow, he even managed to get the bags under her eyes right. Although I continue to say that she has made more than enough dough by now to have that handled or at least get a good night's sleep.

Also, all of that hair is a weave, goodness I sound like her #1 hater and I'm really not I usually ignore the woman.

Posted by: petal | May 15, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

"Wow, he even managed to get the bags under her eyes right. Although I continue to say that she has made more than enough dough by now to have that handled or at least get a good night's sleep."

If the "O" was going to get plastic surgery, don't you think she would have been lypo-ed years ago? Anyway things like under-eye bags could be hereditary. I've tried every cream imaginable to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes for years only to find out its hereditary and looking at pictures when I was a child, I've always had them.

Posted by: The O's #1 fan (not really) | May 15, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

I would pitch in for the Chatwoman sculpture.

That Oprah thing -- no. Just because it is of someone famous and is expensive does not make it art.

Posted by: ep | May 15, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Hmmmmmm, hereditary. Fine I'll leave that alone. Although I will look at old photos of her to confirm.......... Nah, I won't. I'll just let it go.

Posted by: petal | May 15, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

That "sculpture" reminds me of the golden idol the Israelites made while Moses was on the top of Mt. Horeb in "The Ten Commandments."
You know nothing good is gonna happen when people start creating human/animal golden graven images.
Oprah, beware!

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

I would pitch in for the Chatwoman sculpture. Posted by: ep | May 15, 2008 12:52 PM
___________________________________________

Ooh! Me too! Could we get it with a mini Gene perched her head?


Posted by: beaker | May 15, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

This reminds me of the artist who made the sculpture of a pregnant Britney Spears. Both artists are just using the celebs for free publicity.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 15, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Nefertiti. Oprah-fertiti.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | May 15, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

from the post:
"...celeb-centric artist Daniel Edwards (yes, the same guy who brought us the NSFW Britney giving birth and Paris Hilton autopsy sculptures)..."
+++++++++++++
This reminds me of the artist who made the sculpture of a pregnant Britney Spears. Both artists are just using the celebs for free publicity.

Posted by: | May 15, 2008 2:02 PM

Read the post, bro.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 15, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Man, Chatwoman should sue for the "Oprah Sarcophagus" treatment she got last time. She should be grateful that he only sculpted her head this go-around.

I would love a papier-mache version of "Memories of Sophie and Gracie: A Puppies' Memorial" to wear as a Halloween mask, provided of course I'd have enough coordination to duck each I went through a doorway.

Posted by: td | May 15, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

MoCo shouldn't that be Ofertiti?

Posted by: omni | May 15, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly, is it just me, or do you find that your chats go by really quickly?

It seems we just get started and before you know, comes the time we have to say 'so long.'

Posted by: byoolin wonders if Celebritology has come unstuck in time. | May 15, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Omni, "Ofertiti" is also how one might record the scoring for an under-age boy's attempts to visit a strip joint.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Wow...it's so...and all that gold...and dogs on her head...and I just can't imagine...wow.

Posted by: Sappho | May 15, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

I understand that he is also making a Lindsay Lohan head. His choice of medium will be the foil from cigarette cartons and the Lohan's head will be adorned by Joel Madden and her tab from Mr. Changs.

Posted by: celebrity-heads | May 15, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

Sappho's got the Comment of the Day, if not the Week.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Sappho's got the Comment of the Day, if not the Week.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 3:13 PM

Praise from byoolin, which is high praise indeed. I am now a fulfilled human being. I thank you.

Posted by: Sappho | May 15, 2008 3:22 PM | Report abuse

Sappho, be glad that's Byoolin. I don't get no respect. epony leaves flaming bags of Jack Black at my door (See tail of Morning ix comments).

Posted by: Sasquatch | May 15, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

The concept is OK. The artist sucks. Why not go to the museum and see how the Egyptians created sculpture? This guy is an idiot. I mean, the dogs are just plopped on her head with no continuity or explanation.
We were joking about Martha Stewart spray-painting her dead dog and making it into an umbrella stand or something, and this is pretty darn close!!!

Posted by: possum | May 15, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Quit complaining, Sasquatch. You know that burning Jack Black imparts a subtle yet delicious flavour - not unlike the cedar plank method - to foods cooked over it.

You've probably got two or three big King Salmon fillets smokin' right now.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Being a fan of the game (baseball, not strip clubs), byoolin's comment rocks!

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

er...byoolins "ofertiti" comment rocks.

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Come on you guys.

If Opera had anything to do with this hideous sculpture, it would have been tastefully jeweled with one perfect pearl (representing a tear) on her face cheek.

'sniff'

Posted by: Curmudgeon | May 15, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

er...byoolins "ofertiti" comment rocks.

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 3:43 PM

I totally agree. Hysterical.

Posted by: Sappho | May 15, 2008 3:48 PM | Report abuse

Waitasecond, this is not to be taken seriously. The guy is making fun of her, and of celebrity. He definitely is not paying homage here. Look at his other two pieces; he's a satirist. He doesn't LIKE any of these people. C'mon.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 15, 2008 3:50 PM | Report abuse

@3:50, I didn't get the impression that too many people who post here (at least the regulars, named or not) took this "art" seriously.

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Great, Byoo', just great....

BARF!!!!

Last week you did it for yogurt.

This week you did it for salmon.

Please don't do it to beer.

And don't start on mesquite or hickory chips.

P.S. Iron City does not qualify as beer.

Posted by: Sasquatch | May 15, 2008 4:00 PM | Report abuse

Other Daniel Edwards sculptures we hope to see:

The whole Jolie-Pitt family and, hidden somewhere in the middle of all those kids, Waldo.

Dr. Phil (I envision him trying to take 'upskirt' photos of Paris/LiLo/Brit/Miley/whoever to prove his point about how evil Myspace is).

Baba Wawa in flagrante delicto with Sen. Brooke (or possibly Robert Byrd).

This whole Liz Kelly-Jodie Foster-Anne Heche menage-a-trois thing that I started in the Morning Mix post.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 4:02 PM | Report abuse

P.S. Iron City does not qualify as beer.

Posted by: Sasquatch | May 15, 2008 4:00 PM

**********

Iron City is what beer becomes after Sasquatch drinks a quart of Yuengling.

Posted by: byoolin | May 15, 2008 4:03 PM | Report abuse

and don't forget, byoolin a la bacchus, surrounded by paris, lilo, nicole, ashley & jess simpson, heidi montag, and other harlots..er.. starlets du jour.

Posted by: methinks | May 15, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin observes:

"Omni, "Ofertiti" is also how one might record the scoring for an under-age boy's attempts to visit a strip joint."

No doubt the headlight...errr..headline dancer at said joint is Booby Kennedy.

Posted by: Sasquatch, fondly rememembering Booby Kennedy | May 15, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin sez

"Iron City is what beer becomes after Sasquatch drinks a quart of Yuengling."

Make mine a Black & Tan!

Posted by: Sasquatch, looking for the barkeep | May 15, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

Dr. Phil taking upskirt photos.....

I know this image will be in an upcoming nightmare....probably after I eat some King Salmon smoked over a Jack Black fire.

Posted by: Sasquatch | May 15, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Why did it have to be Oprah?

I hate Oprah.

Posted by: Sasquatch channels Indiana Jones | May 15, 2008 4:23 PM | Report abuse

This is a bit off point, and I'm sure someone has already thought of this, but isn't the "Tomkat" for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon "Ca-Ca"?

Posted by: Lakewood | May 15, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

B'lyn and 'Quatch,

Arn City is what they put in the Zamboni tank for the Pen's games.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | May 15, 2008 5:01 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch,
That is one of my all-time favorite jokes, right....

Posted by: b | May 15, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

....along side the one about Angus the Highland tour guide.

Posted by: b | May 15, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

http://byneddiejingo.blogspot.com/2006/02/brief-anecdote.html

Posted by: b | May 15, 2008 5:03 PM | Report abuse

More Daniel Edwards' we'd like to see:

Bill O'Reilly with his "Loofa" in a David-esque pose.

Larry "wide stance" Craig upon his throne--a non-thinking man's "Thinker"

Naomi Campbell, in the discus thrower pose with her cell phone.

Gwyneth Paltrow teetering precariously on 6" heels, in a "Venus on a half shell" pose.

Miley de Milo.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | May 15, 2008 5:15 PM | Report abuse

not only are the dogs life sized, but the head is, too.

Posted by: other liz | May 15, 2008 12:37 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS gets my vote for Comment of the Day. (That woman does have a ginormous head even before it gets it daily dose of ego inflation.)

Posted by: alex | May 15, 2008 7:28 PM | Report abuse

Get over it Liz for your Oprah-bashing, if someone makes a sculpture using her likeness what does she have to do with it??? How many other super-rich celebrities spend their money so well helping others around the world when they really don't even have to? And Name them with the amounts they spend and how many people they benefit? She certainly didn't commission this piece so blame the artist who came up with it. But from a purely commercial (that is in making money)standpoint, this artist is pretty savvy. Opray would probably (no, there are many completely insane pet lovers who have very, very deep pockets) be the only one really wanting something like that and then again maybe not, because it would always be a sad reminder of their loss.

Posted by: gpope | May 16, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

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