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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 05/21/2008

The Winehouse & Doherty Show: Totally Mental

By Liz Kelly

Dear Readers,

I've seen what crazy looks like and, because I haven't the fortitude to face it alone, I must share with you. (Note: while the video is safe for work, it may leave you forever changed. For the worse. And if you're unable to watch video for whatever reason, here's a good description of what you're missing.):

Now, your job is to explain to me:

1. To borrow a phrase of Amy's own invention: "What kind of [expletive] is this?"

2. How Amy and Pete -- both drugged-up messes -- figured out how to upload a video to YouTube. Seriously, I'm stunned when Amy manages to put on a shirt, so this is the equivalent of her figuring out the Fibonacci sequence or, like, remembering the lyrics to her songs.

3. Where did two junkies manage to score a cardboard box full of day-old mice? My first and best guess is inside Amy's rat's nest of "hair." My second is inside the dumpster in which they awoke that morning. And, isn't it bad for humans to handle rodent babies -- won't the mommy mouse want to, like, eat them now?

4. Are Amy and Pete's fingernails really caked with dirt, as if they'd clawed their way out of their early graves, or is it just a trick of the bluish lighting?

5. The entire point of the video -- if one exists -- seems to be to implore Winehouse's imprisoned husband to "not divorce mummy." And, seeing the care Amy took to look so dang seductive, how could any red-blooded guy denied access to the opposite sex for an extended period of time possibly refuse?

By Liz Kelly  | May 21, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Amy Winehouse, Celebrities  
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Comments

I think mommy rat is worried about Amy and Pete giving the babies diseases.

Posted by: ep | May 21, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

OK, I have to say it:
Baby mouse: It's what's for dinner.

Posted by: possum | May 21, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Amy, Amy, Amy. Girl, WTF?

Posted by: Anonymous | May 21, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Not a vid to watch whilst eating anything. :P

Those baby mice are called "pinkies" & they're great baby snake food.

Take that info for what you will.

Posted by: Bored @ work | May 21, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I'm with possum. I kept waiting for Pete to eat one or Amy to throw them into a pan for a quick stir fry. Might have to wait on lunch for a bit now.

(Can you tell I'm working from home today? Usually just get to lurk while at work...)

Posted by: B'more cat lover | May 21, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Screw those "just say no" ads that video gets the point across. Although, I think they stole that bit from Tyrone and his girl on the Chapelle show.

I'm thinking she did wake up one morning to the sounds of baby mice in her hair and now they along with several others are her flat mates. She's simply introducing them to the world.

Posted by: petal | May 21, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

1. oh, how i yearn for the 70s, when alot of musicians went nuts on drugs and alcohol, and then were found dead, but we didn't have to witness it all on the internet. it's janis joplin all over again, only up close and personal.

2. does pete doherty ever actually perform music, or is he nowadays devoting his full time to helping young female drug addicts establish residency in his own special hell?

3. the mamas are a prime example of the chicken-or-egg argument.

Posted by: b | May 21, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

My God, this woman is a train wreck! Seriously. I just have to say... WTF??!?!?

Posted by: fft5305 | May 21, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Mama mouse might kill her babies due to "strange human smells" ... can you imagine what those poor baby mice smell like after being in close proximity to 2 of the most disgusting people on the planet?

As for Mrs. Winehouse: "she accused Mr Fielder-Civil of being a scheming freeloader who manipulates the press with a view to a multimillion-pound divorce settlement." -- Gee. Ya think?

Posted by: Californian | May 21, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Maybe she already IS dead, and the drugs are just keeping her animated.

Posted by: 23112 | May 21, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

I can't see the video, so I don't understand:

Are Ms. Winehouse and Mr. Bighouse in the video together?

If so, does that mean it was made at the gaol in which he is imprisoned?

If so, does that mean (a) Ms. Winehouse somehow managed to bring a litter of mice into gaol, or (b) Mr. Bighouse somehow managed to raise a litter of mice while imprisoned?

If they do not appear together in the video, not only did Ms. Winehouse and Mr. Bighouse manage to independently procure mice, they've somehow managed to film themselves using their mice proxies to communicate. This implies a level of sophistication that, as others have noted, is well beyond anything Ms. Winehouse and Mr. Bighouse have hitherto demonstrated.

I therefore suggest that we've all got the tiger - or the mouse - by the tail, as it were: this video was made BY MICE, who are (as The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy tells us) super-intelligent pan-galactic beings.

Posted by: a byoolin of petunias says, "Oh, no, not again." | May 21, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Also, how about that word, "gaol"? Weird, eh?

Posted by: byoolin | May 21, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

oh my lord, crackheads and taking care of living creatures don't work well together... anyone else thinking of Trainspotting? I can just see dead baby mice crawling up the ceiling and making creepy faces at me now...

Posted by: u street girl | May 21, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

"Trainspotting" trivia, per IMDB:

"Although it looks thoroughly offputting, the faeces in the Worst Toilet in Scotland scene was actually made from chocolate and smelled quite pleasant."

Posted by: byoolin also smells quite pleasant. | May 21, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Note to 1:13, the guy in the vid is Pete Doherty, not her husband (Blake something). Totally different drugged out mess of a guy - he's the one that got Kate Moss in trouble...

Posted by: thriftygrrrl | May 21, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

I kept cringing, expecting her to pop one into her mouth! Creepy!

Posted by: tl | May 21, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

I really, really, really, thought they were going to eat the baby mice.

Posted by: Omaha | May 21, 2008 2:05 PM | Report abuse

Oh. Dear. God.
I watched the vid without sound. I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but I also was terrified that one of them was going to eat one of the baby mice. Neither Amy nor Pete should be in contact with any little creatures, especially not babies of any kind. I wonder what happened to her cat? In one video a few months ago - maybe the one where she's smoking crack? - she was complaining that someone had let her cat out. Cat and baby mice - not a good combination either.
All in all, this is just very sad and somewhat horrifying.

Posted by: sunnydaze | May 21, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Wow. Just wow. Where's PETA when you actually need them???

Posted by: WDC 21113 | May 21, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Alas, work blocks the video so I'll just live vicariously through your comments.

But pinkies all by themselves, even without Amy Winehouse, are creepy and disgusting. Coincidentally, I uncovered a seething nest of them just yesterday in a shed at home. So I get a writhing fleshy pink visual flashback even without Amy.

Posted by: epony | May 21, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Wow. Just wow. Where's PETA when you actually need them???

Posted by: WDC 21113 | May 21, 2008 2:23 PM


I was wondering the same thing. Also, Pete had a coked up cat didn't he? Where's that poor animal and is PETA on that case?

Posted by: petal | May 21, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Please God may both cats have escaped from the clutches of these people and found loving homes!!!

I doubt someone let Amy's cat out. Cats are smart. She probably escaped.

Posted by: Californian | May 21, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Thank you for verifying for me that they did not, in fact, eat one of the mice. I didn't finish watching for fear of that.

Liz, I understand you needed to share your discomfort with others, but why do this to your friends?

Posted by: Whew | May 21, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

That little detail about it being Pete Doherty and not Blake Fielder-Civil kind of knocks the legs out from under my mouse theory, innit?

Wait! Look over there!

Posted by: byoolin sneaks off while you're distracted. | May 21, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

OM GOSH! CREEPY!!

Posted by: nall92 | May 21, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

I feel cheated! I thought this was going to be about Amy Winehouse and SHANNON Doherty. Now that would be a match for the ages.

Posted by: Jack | May 21, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Shannon's bats, not mice.

Posted by: byoolin | May 21, 2008 3:57 PM | Report abuse

I started watching but the whole thing made me queasy so I had to stop. I felt like I was watching some sort of mouse snuff film.

Posted by: Sappho | May 21, 2008 3:57 PM | Report abuse

Also, I think the mice are safe from picking up human scent because Ms. Winehouse and her friend hardly seem to fit into that category.

Posted by: Sappho | May 21, 2008 4:01 PM | Report abuse

byoolin 1:13,
that was hilarious.

work won't let me see the video... guess it will be my evening entertainment.

Posted by: b | May 21, 2008 4:34 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, think there are 42 mice in that box?

Posted by: Sappho | May 21, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

Veiled boozy threats delivered to your incarcerated sweetie via YouTube?

Does Blake's "gaol" have WiFi?

I wonder whether Blake is a Mac or PC man...

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | May 21, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

I'm going to have to work epony's phrase "a writhing fleshy pink visual flashback" into my next cocktail party conversation.

Posted by: just a guy. . . | May 21, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

No, not 42--there's no way AW managed to stumble onto the meaning of the life, the universe, and everything.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 21, 2008 5:32 PM | Report abuse

I like Amy Winehouse's music. But it's almost as if she defies people to like HER--as if she intentionally makes herself repugnant, loathsome, and disgusting.

I still wish her well and hope she gets her s*** together, although it's looking less likely by the day. She needs a Jamie Spears-type figure to whip her into shape before someone finds her dead of an OD.

Posted by: alex | May 21, 2008 5:43 PM | Report abuse

wow.

Posted by: Beth | May 21, 2008 10:24 PM | Report abuse

Yikes.

Posted by: LLL | May 21, 2008 11:09 PM | Report abuse

Actually, I thought it was kinda cute in a twisted way! Though if I was Amy I'd do the same skit with puppies rather than rats, or even kittens. But yeah, I get what she was trying to accomplish!

Posted by: Awww | May 22, 2008 3:36 AM | Report abuse

THE TRUTH ABOUT 911

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO-TJQzx_WY

OF

http://takingaimradio.com/shows/audio.html

Posted by: che | May 22, 2008 6:33 AM | Report abuse

Arthur Ewing And His Musical Mice.

EWING: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I have in this box twenty-three white mice, mice which have been painstakingly trained over the past few years to squeak at a selected pitch. [EWING picks up a mouse by its tail] This is E sharp [EWING puts down the first mouse and picks up another] and this one is G. You get the general idea. Now these mice are so arranged upon this rack that when played in the correct order they will squeak 'The Bells of St Mary's'. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you on the mouse organ 'The Bells of St Mary's'. Thank you.

[EWING picks up two large wooden mallets]

Posted by: byoolin finds Ewing funnier than the man with three buttocks. | May 22, 2008 7:35 AM | Report abuse

Oh. My. God. That is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen in my life.

Posted by: DC Cubefarm | May 22, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

One of the most disturbing things ever? I agree it is awfully unsettling, and it does indeed look like she will pop one of those suckers in her mouth at any moment, but if that's one of the most disturbing things ever, you need to get out more...

Posted by: fft5305 | May 22, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Hello dear ladies and gentlemen!
I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person, which has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not damn sexy), most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!
I'll tell you guys more, that clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, North Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff 100% controlling all their clones spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Think wise..
Apparently those clones is very actively shown on your website . This is just a warning, because original person is not happy about those images and video, rumors and etc., in that way it would be really nice if you try slow down that ''actress'' career development on your website, original Scarlett's parents will really appreciated that. Please do that, do not wait until FBI agent give you a call with questions. Please remember that original family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created, it all need to be return back to original family control to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Original Scarlett is not engage!
Her close friend Serg J.-G.
P.S.
H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more.
These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

Posted by: Serg J.-G. | May 25, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

I THINK THAT BEAUTIFUL AMY IS the way like is it BECAUSE OF HER >LOVE< *BLAKE*!!!!!!!SHE IS LOST.... Realy LOST CASE!!.. She will die.. I am sure.. like the way she lives her life.. not for long Amy.Not for long!

Posted by: AndreA | June 6, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

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