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Celebritology 2.0: June 29, 2008 - July 5, 2008

In the Twilight Zone with Jess and Ush

Jessica Simpson and co-star Ashley Ednar. (Image courtesy New Line Home Entertainment) There are lots of things I'd never want to see combined -- bacon and Peach Schnapps, a hybrid shark/sloth (cuz it would be the slowest death ever), me and Diane Keaton in a Port-a-Jon. But last night's double dose of a couple of stale "Twilight Zone" episodes added two new and unexpectedly foul combinations to my list of abominations against nature: 1. Jessica Simpson and a house full of evil Barbie dolls (watch here), and 2. Usher smoothly doing battle with a pimp stalking him from beyond the grave. To be fair, the episodes originally aired in 2003 and 2002, respectively, so these shows are neither new nor particularly noteworthy. Unless you, like me, happen to make a study of poorly-executed celebrity cameos. We have syndication-loving MyNetwork to thank for keeping these shows alive. And reminding us...

By Liz Kelly  | July 3, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (34)
Categories:  Celebrities, Miscellaneous, TV  
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Morning Mix: Brangelina Baby Pix Could Fetch $15M

Headlines: Doctor says birth of Brangelina twins could be weeks away | First pix of tots could fetch $15 million... Christie Brinkley's husband spent $3,000 a month on Internet porn, says lawyer... Will Smith says actors' strike would be bad for America... Ticket sales slow for Katie Holmes's Broadway debut. (Perhaps loaded little Suri could buy one)... Lindsay Lohan celebrates 22nd birthday with prom-themed party... Amy Winehouse jumps into (onto?) random car... TMZ allowed to re-post Mini Me Verne Troyer's sex tape... Shannen Doherty in talks to join cast of updated "90210"... Wesley Snipes cleared to leave the country for work... Oh why not: David Hasselhoff hams it up in London. Crime Watch: Tatum O'Neal pleads guilty to drug charges... DMX arrested on outstanding warrants... Gym Class Heroes' singer Travis McCoy arrested for striking fan with microphone. Rumor Mill: Wife of rumored Madonna fling Alex Rodriguez dumps Yankee for...

By Liz Kelly  | July 3, 2008; 8:24 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (101)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Wednesday List: Name Brangelina's New Additions

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and soon-to-be born twins Womb and Raider. No? (Getty Images) Yesterday when news started leaking that supermom Angelina Jolie had checked herself into a nice Nice hospital to await the scheduled arrival of babies five and six to the Brangelina brood, editor Nancy and I starting batting around potential names for the lucky soon-to-be doted-upon-by-the-whole-world baby girls (at least we think they're girls -- Jack Black never confirmed that bit). Our names were, unprofessionally as is our wont, predicated on the hope that Jolie's jolie tots will enter the world two days hence, on July 4th -- Independence Day on this side of the Atlantic. Here's what we came up with: Yankee and Doodle Dandy and 'works Sparkler and Apple Pie Freedom and Fry Star and Stripe Okay, maybe not. Perhaps something a bit more Francais: Amelie and Asterix Brie and Baguette Jeri and Louise...

By Liz Kelly  | July 2, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (201)
Categories:  Brangelina, Celebrities, Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Birth of Brangelina Twins Imminent

Headlines: Angelina Jolie enters hospital ahead of birth of twins... Publicist says Madonna and Guy Ritchie have "no divorce plans"... Boy George cancels North American tour... Sacha Baron Cohen to star as Sherlock Holmes... Heidi Montag debuts new song (The hook: "I'm going home with you if I have one more drink.")... New York carriage drivers dump all over Alec Baldwin... Pete Wentz talks about making out with guys... Oscar buzz builds for Heath Ledger's "Dark Knight" performance... Dennis Haysbert says his "24" role paved the way for Barack Obama... Josh Hartnett to star in staged version of "Rain Man"... Christie Brinkley's divorce trial set to begin... Rosie O'Donnell denies rumors of a split with long-time partner. Crime Watch: Rape charge against Poison's Rikki Rockett dropped. Rumor Mill: Jay-Z and P. Diddy fans of the Boyzilian... A boy for Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz?... Rose McGowan and director Robert...

By Liz Kelly  | July 2, 2008; 8:02 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (115)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Insta-Poll: Can Will Weather a Scientology Storm?

Red carpet regular Will Smith at Sunday's 'Hancock' premiere in Hollywood. (Getty Images) Will Smith may play a superhero on the big screen in this weekend's "Hancock," but -- at least among box office earners -- he comes close to actually being one in real life. His unprecedented run of July 4th box office smashes ("Independence Day," "Men in Black," "I, Robot") make him one of the surest things since sparklers for the Independence Day weekend. Those who prognosticate such things predict a $110 million opening weekend for Smith's portrayal of a reluctant man of steel. But, just in time to foul up the Smith money-making machine, a potential turn-off lurks just under the surface of the holiday weekend movie hype: Scientology! As mentioned in yesterday's Morning Mix, Smith and wife Jada Pinkett-Smith have endowed a school that -- while it claims to have no ties to the church...

By Liz Kelly  | July 1, 2008; 11:18 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (238)
Categories:  Celebrities, Insta-Polls  
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Morning Mix: No Tattoos for 'Pure' Paris

Headlines: No tattoos for "pure" Paris Hilton, says boyfriend Benji Madden... Michael Lohan provides DNA for paternity test... Britney Spears househunting for a quieter place... Jessica Biel says her dog isn't into blogging. Somehow, I include it as a headline... Producer Mark Ronson turns down David Hasselhoff collaboration... Pam Anderson calls meat-eating Jessica Simpson naughty NSFW names. Madonna-Rama: Guy Ritchie flies to New York -- perhaps party planning? -- as rumors swirl that Madonna is seeing Yankee Alex Rodriguez? Meanwhile, in the humble beginnings dept., Madge's childhood home burns. Rumor Mill: Amy Winehouse parties until 4:30 a.m. after leaving hospital... Jackson family shopping reality show... Eddie Murphy ready to retire?... Jason Lee set to marry? TV Alert: Fans of over-produced trainwrecks take note -- Wednesday evening's "Twilight Zone" double-header features guest stars Jessica Simpson and Usher. Twilight zone, indeed. Say What? "Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted,...

By Liz Kelly  | July 1, 2008; 7:45 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (194)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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What Would Jamie Lee Do?

Jamie Lee Curtis holds a steely vigil in the galley of the Virginia Responder. (Photo by Matt Nelson for washingtonpost.com) There isn't much debate about it -- we are a society of celebrity worshippers. And despite the most vehement protests that we couldn't possibly be that shallow, I was reminded -- yet again -- last week of just how completely members of the Screen Actors Guild have replaced religious dieties in our daily lives. We look up -- not to the heavens, but to the outsized faces that gaze down on us from the silver screen. Yes, there are outliers in any survey sample -- but I'd wager that People Magazine outpaces the presence of traditional religious icons in most American homes. Not that I'm complaining. This ever-deepening development is nothing but good for my business as a chronicler of the new pantheon of gods. But no matter how...

By Liz Kelly  | June 30, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (87)
Categories:  Celebrities, Extreme Fans, Miscellaneous  
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Morning Mix: Amy Winehouse Punches at Fan During Show

Headlines: Uma Thurman engaged... Amy Winehouse punches at fan during performance... Britney Spears spends first night with sons since January... Jennifer Aniston transitions smoothly into role as John Mayer groupie... Nicole Kidman creates her own labor room mix CD (what, no Celine?)... Russell Simmons ordered to pay $40,000 a month in child support... Judge stops release of Verne Troyer sex tape... Steven Tyler says he was addicted to pain meds... "Idol" winner Ruben Studdard marries... Chris Kattan weds model girlfriend... Jennifer Lopez may testify in lawsuit against ex-boyfriend Sean "Diddy" Combs... Courtney Love carted around L.A. Rumor Mill: Drunken Matthew McConaughey rolled by Nicaraguan samaritans... Pal says Anne Hathaway ratted out boyfriend to the feds... Woman says Michael Lohan fathered her 13-year-old daughter... Madonna's mother-in-law denies divorce reports... Sienna Miller dating married Balthazar Getty?... "Entourage's" Adrian Grenier asks clubs to pay $50,000 to host his birthday party (clearly Turtle's...

By Liz Kelly  | June 30, 2008; 7:07 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (150)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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