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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 06/13/2008

Friday List: Super-Casting?

By Liz Kelly

Super Villain: Burgess Meredith as The Penguin. (AP)
Friday List

Unless you're the Flash or Wonder Woman, there's just no "I" in team. Which is why today I've enlisted "Lost" analysis collaborator and Wonder Twin Jen Chaney to help evaluate Cinematical's list of the Best Ever Superhero and Villain Casting. When Jen isn't busy handicapping the best show on TV with me, her mild-mannered alter ego is that of post.com Movies producer and DVD reviewer, a job that has exposed her to unhealthy levels of superhero flicks. A lesser human might've succumbed to the non-stop onslaught of CGI effects and pithy one-liners, but not our Jen. She was morphed by the experience into Crita-Girl, a woman able to pontificate on the merits of various superheroes -- from the recent (Ed Norton's "Hulk") to the distant glimmerings of heroes past (Christopher Reeve's "Superman").

Without further delay, here's Cinematical's list in abbreviated form (and, remember, it includes villains and purports to be limited to "recent" movies):

1. Michael Chiklis -- Ben Grimm/The Thing, Fantastic Four
2. Danny DeVito - Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin, Batman Returns
3. Christian Bale - Bruce Wayne/Batman, Batman Begins
4. Ian McKellen - Eric Lensherr/Magneto - X-Men
5. Liam Neeson - Peyton Westlake/Darkman - Darkman
6. Robert Downey, Jr. - Tony Stark - Iron Man

(Note: We were with Cinematical until the compiler -- who we will note carries a Y chromosome -- threw this last one into the list.)

7. Halle Berry - Patience Phillips/Catwoman - Catwoman

Here's Jen's response to Halle's inclusion:

I'm with some of the items on the Cinematical post (see Ian McKellen and Robert Downey, Jr.) But Halle Berry in "Catwoman"? I know he's strictly talking casting, not movie quality here. And it's true that Berry slid into that feline-wear pretty smoothly. But there was never a single moment in that comic-book debacle where I thought she might triumph over the material. And if the role really had been a perfect fit, she should been able to do that, at least in a scene or two. A much more fascinating Catwoman, for my money? Michelle Pfeiffer in "Batman Returns." Every purr and freaky-sexy lick of Michael Keaton's face contained layers of mystery and latent anger.

And Jen's additions to the list:

Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the "X-Men" movies. Jackman is, clearly, a hunk of a man with a body capable of striking down anything in its path. But he also brings a tenderness to the role that illuminates his love for Jean Grey.

Ron Perlman as "Hellboy." I don't think Sony was particularly psyched about putting this franchise in the hands of someone best known for starring in TV's "Beauty and the Beast." But I honestly can't think of anyone better to play the hulking, sarcastic, cigar-smoking, angst-ridden demon.

And I know Cinematical limited its list to "recent history." But you can't talk great superhero casting without noting Christopher Reeve as "Superman." Just say the word Superman and who do you picture? Reeve, in all his 1978 glory, with that magnificent black curl in the middle of his handsome forehead.

And mine, villains all:

Staying with the '70s "Superman" theme for a moment longer, no list of villains would be complete without Gene Hackman's masterful turn as Lex Luthor. He was despicable, yet somehow we ended up rooting for him just a little -- if only to keep him on screen for a few more minutes.

Jack Nicholson's Joker made the Michael Keaton-fronted "Batman Returns" palatable. Who better to play the demented clown-painted Joker than wild man of Hollywood who'd already seared his fear factor into our hearts in "The Shining?" (Note: It will be interesting to see how the late Heath Ledger stacks up in the next Batman installment, "The Dark Knight.")

Despite Cinematical's admiration for Danny DeVito's Penguin, I have to give it up to Burgess Meredith's campy take on the character in the 1960s TV series.

Add your picks below...

By Liz Kelly  | June 13, 2008; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Friday Lists, Pop Culture  
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Comments

Liz, you are ususally so on top of things... what is up with the pic caption "Super Villain: Burgess Meredith as The Joker." under the pic of the Penguin?

Posted by: ke | June 13, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Ugh. Brain drain. Fixing now. And thanks for the catch!

Posted by: Liz Kelly | June 13, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

Another error, Nicholson's the Joker was in the original "Batman," the villains in "Batman Returns" were DeVito and PfeiFfer as the Penguin and Catwoman.

Posted by: Carl Hungus | June 13, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

As I said over at Cinematical:

Some good choices here (and I agree that Jackman deserves serious consideration for the list). But no love for Alfred Molina as Dr. Octavius in Spider-Man 2? He brought gravitas, humor (and a great little scene of bemused romance with his wife) and a nice sense of conflict to his
character.

Posted by: Joseph J. Finn | June 13, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Err...Jack Nicholson's Joker was in "Batman" (the 1989 film), not Batman Returns.

(Honestly, the movieverse for most comic-based films seems remarkably complicated. That is, until you try to understand the comicverse. My friends are still trying to explain Infinite Crisis to me.)

Posted by: Bawlmer | June 13, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

Also, I saw a trailer for the new Batman when I went to see Indy 4 and they have long since replaced Heath Ledger with that dude from Thank You for Smoking. Aaron Eckhart, is that his name?

Posted by: J.B. | June 13, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Oops, too slow. And I agree with Finn; Molina's Doc Ock was great. Hugh Jackman is nigh unbeatable as Woverine; that is, until Ian McKellen walks in and takes over. And I have to admit, I loved Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey as Two-Face and The Riddler, respectively, in "Batman Forever"; the two of them just tore up the screen. (My preference may have to do with the enormous preteen crush I developed on Val Kilmer's Batman during the course of the film.)

Posted by: Bawlmer is slow off the mark. | June 13, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

...although Steve Miller as The Joker was memorable in his own right.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

I'm curious to see Aaron Eckhart's Harvey Dent, I think he embodies it better than Tommy Lee Jones or Billy Dee Williams.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

"..made the Michael Keaton-fronted "Batman Returns" palatable."

Are you kidding? He was the best batman.

Yes, I know Clooney was batman too, but Michael was the best.

Posted by: Irishgirl | June 13, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

Patrick Stewart as Professor X.

Posted by: 23112 | June 13, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Hugo Weaving did an excellent job in V for Vendetta.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Clay Aiken and Toni Collette as the Ambiguously Gay Duo?

Posted by: M Street | June 13, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Burt Ward made a pretty good Robin in the early years -- the chipper can-do attitude born of circuses and hope (and naivete).

I applaud Jen's addition of Hugh Jackman. Of course, I would applaud his addition to almost any list, since he's already on my Christmas list.

Posted by: NC2/ReRun | June 13, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

How do you define "recent" movies? I'm with you on Danny DeVito; hated him. Rocky's trainer all the way!

Well, since you opened the door to TV with the Burgess Meredith reference, I cast my vote for the stellar Saturday-morning performances of Deirdre Hall and Judy Strangis as "Electra Woman and Dyna-Girl."

Them, and that chick who played "Isis."

And Frank Gorshin as "The Riddler." And . . . .

Posted by: td, going on a tv tangent | June 13, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

Sorry, the best Catwoman will forever be Eartha Kitt.

Since we seem to be TV-version-Batman-fixated, I'll also add in Caesar Romero's Joker.

And as td mentioned, Frank Gorshin. Jim Carrey was entertaining but he couldn't hold a candle to Gorshin.

Posted by: Bored @ work | June 13, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

"Yes, I know Clooney was batman too, but" --Irishgirl 11:40 AM

---------
Yes, and Clooney's head-down, eyes-up acting style made wearing a mask and emoting at the same time challenging for the future Oscar-winner.

Posted by: td | June 13, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

My list

1) Hugh Jackman as Wolverine
2) Christopher Reeve as Superman
3) Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man
4) Lou Ferigno as The Incredile Hulk (yes tv and yes campy, but GREAT)
5) Patrick Stewart as Professor X
6) Jack Nicholson as the Joker
7) Ron Pearlman as Hellboy
8) Michael Chickless as the Thing
9) Adam West as Batman - Loved me some very campy TV as a kid.
10)Halle Berry - She looked Prrrfect - couldn't act, but who cares.

Posted by: DW | June 13, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Mike Myers as Dr. Evil. :)

Posted by: MB | June 13, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Aaron Eckhart was always cast as Harvey Dent for the new Batman movie. Heath Ledger plays the Joker and they have not replaced him.

Posted by: MGC | June 13, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

The Best Ever Superhero Ever had only one airing: on a pilot for a CBC (that's a Canadian network, eh) series called "Remotely..."

The episode featured a sketch called "The Adventures Of E-Man." E-Man is (fat) Elvis.

E-Man: "This pill gives me the strength of ten men, and this one gives me the ability to fly!" (IIRC, the reply comes: "Uh, no, King, that one makes you incontinent, and that one makes you drowsy and such.")

I accidentally erased the tape I had of it and thought it was gone forever until a minute ago. Youtube, I love you. I can't wait to get home to see this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onZqsMGyRHM


Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Clay Aiken and Toni Collette as the Ambiguously Gay Duo?

Posted by: M Street | June 13, 2008 11:48 AM

That just made me spit Coke all over my laptop screen

Posted by: Magnolia | June 13, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

"Quick, boys, to the wh*rehouse! There's trouble at the brothel!"

"Uh, no, King, that's 'warehouse.' You know, like in 'warehouse.'"

Posted by: byoolin is GIDDY!!! | June 13, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Eartha Kitt as Catwoman
Christian Bale as Batman
Alfred Molina as Doc Oc
Frank Gorshin as Riddler
Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy

Posted by: methinks | June 13, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Upon further reflection, I think the second line that E-Man says is, "There's trouble at the old bordello."

I practically spastic with delight here.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

The most under-rated superhero show was Flash from 1990-91 starring John Wesley Shipp. It had Mark Hamill as The Trickster. Unfortunately, it also had Amanda Pays as the chemistry free romantic interest.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

OK, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I liked Madonna as Breathless Mahoney in "Dick Tracy." She was good! Ditto William Forsythe as Flattop.

That said, I was not in love with Al Pacino's Big Boy Caprice or Dustin Hoffman's Mumbles. Too over-the-top.

(I know, they won the Academy Awards and Madonna's lucky just to get an invite to the ceremony. I know!)

Posted by: td, hanging head in shame | June 13, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Jack Nicholson's Joker was bad. It was more in line with the TV show than with the comic books. From the early clips of Ledger's Joker, I think us comic fans will be much happier.

Posted by: steve | June 13, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

I'm going to have to add Patrick Warbuton as The Tick.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Ernest Borgnine and Tim Conway as the voices of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy on SpongeBob SquarePants. They are hilarious.

Posted by: td, trying to redeem himself for the madonna comment | June 13, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

My favorite villian was Allan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood, etc.

So wicked. " . . . and, cancel Christmas."

superb

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

In my mind, I just can't get around somebody besides Mark Hamill being the Joker from the animated Batman. He really defined the role for me.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Lindsay Wagner as The 6-million Dollar Woman

Posted by: CJB | June 13, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

ditto Eartha Kitt's Catwoman, although Julie Newmar was not bad.

Hugh Jackman!

It's a shame you only want recent flicks, but cause if you didn't, I'd have to mention James Arness in the original "Thing"

Posted by: b | June 13, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

oh, and before I forget, another slimey villain was Joaquin Phoenix's Commodus in "Gladiator".

Now THERE was a guy who made Baby Jesus cry!

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin notes:

"...although Steve Miller as The Joker was memorable in his own right."

Was Steve Miller better as The Joker or as The Space Cowboy?

Posted by: Sasquatch bets you weren't ready for that | June 13, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Lucy Lawless as Xena, Warrior Princess.

Okay, sort of a super-heroine...

Posted by: CJB | June 13, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon writes:
"oh, and before I forget, another slimey villain was Joaquin Phoenix's Commodus in "Gladiator"."

-----------------------------

Given the character's preference for activities deviant and kinky, should not his name have been Commodius?

Posted by: Sasquatch who mind is in tht toilet | June 13, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

No discussion of racing movies can neglect that Carradine/Stallone classic, Death Race 2000. 'Nuff said.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Michael -- so glad you mentioned Warburton as the Tick. He was hysterical! Such a goober. Who in his right mind would pick Nicholson's Joker? It was Jack, all Jack all the time.

Why not have a category for worst superhero/villain casting?

I nominate Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor. Parker Posey kicked his shiny headed ass.

Posted by: Scandibaby | June 13, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Sorry. Wrong blog.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Oh, yes! Mark Hamill's Joker in Batman: The Animated Series is what I think Joker is; gleefully psychotic and having the time of his life. Also love the relationship he builds with Harley Quinn. "You didn't really mean that, didja, Mister J?"
And Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert as The Ambiguously Gay Duo? I have no words. Just pure joy.

Posted by: Bawlmer is vengance, Bawlmer is the night. | June 13, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze has a stone cold lock on worst villain of all time.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

I am glad that the list includes Michael Chiklis and Ron Pearlman. Did I mention that Hellboy, while of a different species, is of the same family as Sasquatch? There are differences of opinion whether Hellboy is in the same genus.

As for villains, why has no one yet mentioned Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith in The Matrix trilogy?

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 13, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

I agree with a lot of those posted above. I'm holding out to see how Ed Norton does as the Hulk (tickets for tonight, yipppeee). I feel asleep on the one with Eric Bana and left wondering why they did it at all. Also, I want to see the cast of the Watchmen.

Liam Neeson as Ra's Al Ghul in Dark Knight. I thought he did a darn good job.

Lawrence Fishburn as Silver Surfer. His voice brought it home for me.

Posted by: petal | June 13, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch, do you normally have to sand down the demonic horns that grow from your forehead? Or is that handled by your beautician-slash-zookeeper?

Posted by: Bawlmer | June 13, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Tony Stark aka Robert Downey Jr.

Posted by: petal | June 13, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Vincent Price as Egghead. Just a wonderful job.

The only Superman for me is Christopher Reeve.

Lou Ferrigno as the Incredible Hulk.

Tim Curry as the Devil in Legend (Tom Cruise in mini-armor). Actually Tim Curry as ANY villain. Nobody does it better.

Posted by: ep | June 13, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Hey, guys, over here. This is all about me, remember? I hereby dub this CeleBYOOLINolgy and add myself to the Cinematical list.

1. Byoolin as the all-time #1 Celebyoolinologist.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Now, yellojkt, Uma was in that film too and she was, IMO, even worse than Ahnuld, plus that film had the worst Batgirl ever: Alicia Silverstone. :P

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | June 13, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Brandon Lee as Eric Draven in "The Crow"!!!

Posted by: HH | June 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin and Sasquatch:

What about Mauuuuuuuuureeeeece?

Posted by: b | June 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

What about Maurice?

Maurice is not Byoolin.

Ergo, Maurice is of no consequence.

Case Closed.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

Mmmmmm, Hellboy. I was all set to stalk him, but it turns out he's a fictional character.

Posted by: epony | June 13, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Is God a superhero? Because I thought the casting of Alanis Morrisette as God in Dogma was inspired. She did great, even without using her best-known asset. (Her voice. Get your mind outta the gutter.)

Posted by: CoHi | June 13, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to see Hellboy played by Yitzhak Perlman.

Posted by: the real byoolin is off making that mwa-mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow guitar sound. | June 13, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Q: Is God a superhero?

A: God is a concept by which we measure our pain. (I'll say it again: God is a concept by which we measure our pain. Pain, yeah. Pain.)

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Brad Dourif as Wormtongue in LOTR. Also, Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratchd in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Posted by: lafred | June 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Is God a superhero? Because I thought the casting of Alanis Morrisette as God in Dogma was inspired. She did great, even without using her best-known asset. (Her voice. Get your mind outta the gutter.)

Posted by: CoHi | June 13, 2008 1:34 PM

*************************

I know. Isn't it ironic?

Posted by: M Street | June 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

It may have been his lusciousness in general that led me to this conclusion, but I loved Cillian Murphy in Batman Begins. Hey, if Halle Berry as Catwoman can make the list...

Posted by: musicgeek | June 13, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Oh. And my favorite superhero? Buffy. Yes, that's right. Buffy.

Totally.

Posted by: musicgeek | June 13, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

I second the Buffy nod.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 2:06 PM | Report abuse

(curmudgeon i too love the sheriff in robin hood! he does evil so deliciously.)
as hugh jackman's #1 fan and part time stalker (i split time with sasquatch when we're not at the empress) i am thrilled beyond belief that he is on the list. no man looks better with a furry chest and now shirt. yeoza!

Posted by: melissamac1 | June 13, 2008 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Yvonne Craig is the hottest superheroine ever. I got into an argument with a fellow geek and we watched some YouTube clips and I had to concede.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz3DAf177VM&feature=related

Now I'm a believer.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer asks:

"Sasquatch, do you normally have to sand down the demonic horns that grow from your forehead? Or is that handled by your beautician-slash-zookeeper?"


Bawlmer (great handle, BTW), Sasquatch generally do not have horns, which is one major reason that Sasquatch and Hellboy are considered not of the same species. The other major reason is that Hellboy has smooth, red scaly skin, while Sasquatch is shaggy and hairy. Research by cryptozoologists has revealed that this skin difference is not due to Hellboy getting Hellboyzillion waxing; his appearance is au naturel. However, Sasquatch and Hellboy share many personality traits. They are generally grumpy loners who are painfully shy and aware of their less-than-attractive look. Sasquatch and Hellboy also share a fondness for cats. Hellboy generally prefers Red Hook, while Sasquatch drinks the eponymous Sasquatch Stout.

The field guide to cryptozoology has some helpful spotting pictures that may assist you in ascertaining which is which:

Sasquatch:

http://wumc.youth.googlepages.com/MessinWithSasquatch_2.jpg/MessinWithSasquatch_2-full.jpg

Hellboy:

http://www.moviecitynews.com/arrays/images/2004/hellboy/hellboy_pic2.jpg

Hellboy is only an occasional visitor to The Empress tea room because he doesn't like the way he looks in a hat, and the maitre d' makes him check his guns at the door.

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 13, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

God has long been a comic superhero. To wit:

http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2008/01/31/boll/

Posted by: Sasquatch Man | June 13, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

I third the Buffy nod.

Posted by: Renee | June 13, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

B asks:
"Byoolin and Sasquatch:

What about Mauuuuuuuuureeeeece?"

Nope. It is impossible to both be a superhero and to speak of the pompitous of love.

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 13, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

I third the Buffy nod.

Posted by: Renee | June 13, 2008 2:37 PM

For that matter, Faith was a kicka$$ villain.

Posted by: musicgeek | June 13, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

It's not a superhero movie, but I loved Alan Rickman as the villain in Die Hard....I felt a little weird being so attracted to the bad guy's voice

Posted by: Magnolia | June 13, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Alan Rickman is so good at being bad.

He wasn't nearly so memorable as a blonde guy in "Sense and Sensibility", I think. Actually, that role was quite forgettable.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Verdict Alert!!!!!!!

The jury has reached a verdict in the R. Kelly Trial.

They took about 1/6000th of the time it took to actually bring the case to trial.

Waiting for the verdict then analyzing counts as studying for the bar right?

Posted by: ep | June 13, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

ep asks:

"Waiting for the verdict then analyzing counts as studying for the bar right?"

Only if you're standing at the bar, son.

Posted by: Clint Eastwood | June 13, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Eagerly awaiting the reading of the R. Kelly verdict. Do you think I can talk my boss into playing it over the intercom like they did with the OJ trial?

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

That's "little girl" to you Mr. Eastwood.

Acquitted. All counts.

Oh. My. God.

or in ttt:
OMG WTF

Posted by: ep | June 13, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

you heard it here first, world

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

R. Kelly was acquitted, if that's not a reason to go home early, I don't know what is.

Posted by: michael | June 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Of course Liz and Jen don't like Halle Berry as Catwoman . . . because she's black, and they're racists! In their minds no black woman is good enough to be a part-feline arch-villainess. Furthermore, none of their other favorite heroes or villains is a hero of color or a villain of color. Mere coincidence? I think not. Give Massa Eastwood a call, your hood is showing.

Posted by: Spike Lee | June 13, 2008 3:23 PM | Report abuse

I wonder what impressed the jury more: R. Kelly saying, "That's not me," or the girl saying, "That's not me."

Posted by: It wasn't byoolin, either. | June 13, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Au contraire, Spike. Hellboy was a person of (red) color. And Wolverine was certainly brown. Brown haired, granted, but brown nonetheless.

Carm down, son.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

This just in from the jury foreman at the R. Kelly trial: "That girl in the video, she weren't even propper nacked."

Posted by: M Street | June 13, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Oh and I'm partial to Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor on Smallville and John Glover as his dad Lionel.

Posted by: petal | June 13, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Eartha Kitt was ten times the Catwoman Halle could ever be.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Whoah -- Tim Russert died.

Posted by: ol | June 13, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

Spike, Spike, Spike . . .

. . . what about "The Hulk"?

Now, "Frankenstein" was actually a man of no color because he was made from gead guy parts.

There used to be lots more brown villains, but they became scarce when people decided that they gave a bad name to men of color.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 3:57 PM | Report abuse

I second Brandon Lee in "The Crow" ... that movie gives me goosebumps every time!

I also agree with Buffy and Mr. Smith from the Matrix.

In addition, I swooned over the Rocketeer as a kid. Liz & Jen ... Locke from lost is a major character in Rocketeer. Time to pull out the VCR and watch that one again ;)

Posted by: flutterbyjen | June 13, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

I predicted it:

If the mole don't show,
Let R. Kelly go!

Posted by: yellojkt | June 10, 2008 9:29 AM
---------
I would've been a lawyer, but I couldn't grow the dorsal fin.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Tom Brokaw was practically in tears on the air discussing Tim Russert's death. So young to be gone so soon.

Posted by: ep | June 13, 2008 4:00 PM | Report abuse

I'm a regular watcher of Meet The Press and those are going to be big shoes to fill. So it goes.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

I vote for Scarlett Johansson. She's got big shoes.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 4:16 PM | Report abuse

But I think Tim had a bigger cup size.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 13, 2008 4:17 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps we should have renamed the show "Meet The Breasts" sooner, then.

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Some of us volunteers at St. Ann's give a Christmas party for the older children. Over the years, they have taught us how to do it. For instance, we once had a Santa, a jolly Irishman when he hadn't gone to the Market Inn to brace himself with a four-martini lunch for his chores. When he had had just the one extra sip, his good nature slipped several notches, and he had been seen throwing a present at a child who had not moved smartly enough when his name was called. Two little girls we found sobbing in each others' arms in the hall convinced us we had to do something different.

We worked out a formula we thought the most timid dormouse of a child might find unthreatening. Santa was asleep on the couch when they arrived. They sang "Jingle Bells" very softly at first and then applied the crescendo; by the time of the second "hey," Santa was up and ho-ing. Thomas Noyes, a most civilized and gentle fellow with a taste for the theater, refined the role. He was also very good at batteries and assembly.

Our perennial and heroic hostess, Gertrude Cleary, moved out of her big old picture-book house and into an elegant apartment. She would not give up the franchise. We changed Santas too. Tom Noyes' good heart gave out and we found someone new. Mark Shields, who had been, he said South Weymouth's finest Santa in his youth, took over. He was so sorry for the children he could hardly bring himself to do the interrogatories. They perjured themselves copiously and at the earliest opportunity, hurled themselves on him as if he were a trampoline. There was that melting moment when the toughest, most case-harded, most sent-home-from-school boy fell apart and unleashed a smile that never dimmed. A shy little girl put her hand on his arm and tried to thank him for the doll -- and the love -- he gave her. He wasn't much at batteries and assembly. They didn't care. He was just what they had in mind.

This year a hip operation sidelined him. We prevailed on Tim Russert to be surrogate Santa. We told him it would be just like "Meet the Press," lots of commentary, endless Q and A. He went at it with great gusto, making statements about correct behavior, quizzing them at great length about their lapses. "Did you bite? Did you fight?" He asked over and over. He launched into a homily about respect.

The children began to squirm and fidget, like delegates to a Democratic Convention trapped in a Bill Clinton speech. One of them, Ralph, took me aside. "Is he ever going to give us presents?" he asked. "Ralph," I said, "I promise you."

...And Gertrude's wonderful neighbor, Jeremy Young, came in to play the piano, and we sang "The Twelve Days of Christmas" so you could hear it at the White House, and Robert, whose heart was broken because his mother walked out on him, leapt up and danced. He made his way to Santa, through the paper and the toys and the batteries and said to him, "You should be here all the time."

Posted by: From Mary McGrory's Dec. 24, 1995, column in the Post | June 13, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

This might be a good time for me to nominate Patsy Stone as "Boobarella."
Also John Hurt as Caligula.

Posted by: possum | June 13, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Villains anyone?

How about George Bush as Perznit of the United States.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2008 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Villains? What about Nixon & his crew? Nearly overturned the Constitution.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 13, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

Stop, you guys.

You're scaring the b'jesus outta me.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse

I see half a dozen posts above by somebody calling himself "Curmudgeon."

Which is fine. But just for the record, that person is NOT the Curmudgeon who posts all the time in the Achenblog, who is me. (And I've been using that handle over there for three years.)

There are also a couple of other posters here from the Achenblog, and if they are saying, "I know that guy" -- no, you don't.

(However, I do agree with the ersatz Curmudgeon about Alan Rickman in "Robin Hood." At least for a fake, he has good taste in villainy.) (And I *did* post here in the "bad casting" chat last week.)

It's very disconcerting to have a doppleganger. Just sayin'.

Posted by: The Other Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 7:16 PM | Report abuse

I'm just thankful it was Tim Russert and not the babelicious Michelle Malkin. Maybe now NBC will offer her the big chair?

Posted by: byoolin | June 13, 2008 7:19 PM | Report abuse

I think this curmudgeon is the same curmudgeon that has been posting here intermittently since the inception of the blog (with a hiatus), no? And I think this one's a she, not a he.

But there are a lot of posters using the same "handles", both intentionally and unintentionally. I quit using my regular handle altogether when a number of other posters started using it, as well. (Not that I have anything particularly unique, insightful, or witty to contribute. . .)

Posted by: nameless | June 13, 2008 7:48 PM | Report abuse

Yes, it is I, the one, true, Curmudgeon, keeper of the Celebritoloty Universe Unabashed Glossary of Terms.

I don't post to Joel A's blog, although I love his writing and own two of his books.

I am a "she".

How do you do, Other Curmudgeon?

Posted by: The Real Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 8:33 PM | Report abuse

Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms. C. I am fine, thank you for asking. And yourself? I was unaware of your existence until today. One assumes we both share a certain...crusty sensibility, no?

I shall defer to your seniority on this blog, and will henceforth use "Other Curmudgeon" here. I do reserve the right to remain Curmudgeon over on the Achenblog; I hope you find that a reasonable compromise? And I'm sure we would be happy to have post over there once in a while. There are a number of us movie and celebrity buffs over there, and you will find the company very pleasant and welcoming.

Posted by: Other Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 8:50 PM | Report abuse

Eeeeeew, not crusty. I prefer to think that being b**chy and unstable is part of my mystique.

It's a fine solution to the curmudgeon conundrum and I accept. Should I have the need to post at the Achenbach blog, I will style myself "Other Curmudgeon".

Posted by: Real Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 9:24 PM | Report abuse

"B**chy and unstable"? Interesting. You sound... difficult.

So...we share a fondness for Alan Rickman, then.

Where might one find this Celebritology glossary of terms?

Posted by: Other Curmudgeon | June 13, 2008 9:37 PM | Report abuse

Between the Say what Guillermo del Toro comment and the superhero/villian casting, imma say someone picked up the latest issue of COMPLEX Magazine.

Posted by: Complex | June 13, 2008 10:40 PM | Report abuse

Modest Proposal:
'Mudge is Achenblog Curmudgeon when posting on Celebritology

Real Curmudgeon is Celebritology Curmudgeon when posting on Achenblog.

Not that it's any of my business.

And that is why I have remained yellojkt since 1991. Nobody would bother to steal it.

Posted by: yellojkt | June 14, 2008 12:42 AM | Report abuse

Other -

I post the Unabashed Glossary regularly in the "Morning-Mix". Because it's a living document, it will remain unstable (like me) for the forseeable future.

Friday's version was posted to Friday's "Morning Mix".

I don't think I'm "difficult". "Bossy", maybe. Oh, and "proactive" with the best imagination around.

Yellojkt -

Good thinking! (1991? Had Al Gore even invented the Internets then?)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 14, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Two Curmudgeons!?!?! Aychihuahua. I thought I was losing my mind when the Lovely Mrs. byoolin referred to the Celebritology Curmudgeon as a "she." 'Splains a lot.

Also, Michelle Malkin, "babelicious"? I'd use that adjective on 3.2 billion other women and Evgeny Malkin before I'd use it on her. (Unless faux byoolin meant it in the sense of "if I'd killed her and intended to hide her body by chopping it into little pieces (Careful With That Axe, Eugene) and throwing it into the pig slop, after which that adorable Babe from the Disney movie chowed down like he was really enjoying it," in which case, yeah, I suppose she *could* be described as 'babelicious.' But even then, that would be the pig's opinion, not mine.)

Posted by: byoolin | June 14, 2008 7:57 PM | Report abuse

i let this one go a couple days to see what you'd all say...

IMO, the best casting of a superhero in a superhero movie was Greg Kinnear as Captain Amazing. I mean, honestly, that whole film was just about perfectly cast - but Kinnear in the role of the smarmy sponsor-centric defender of Champion city had me rolling.

Then again, Denise Richards as 'White She Devil' was pretty good too.

As for Nicholson's Joker - it was unbearable. Burton created this beautiful malevolent gritty Gotham and stuck this idiotic hamfisted jackass of an actor smack dab in the middle of it. I wish he'd shack up with Courtney Love somewhere - like the Ross Ice Shelf...

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | June 15, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Eddie Griffin as Undercover Brother
Dave Chappelle as Conspiracy Brother
Neil Patrick Harris as THE BROTHERHOOD's white intern.

Posted by: K.C. | June 16, 2008 7:18 PM | Report abuse

a2JzMm Blogs rating, add your blog to be rated for free:
http://blogsrate.net

Posted by: Nancy Barness | June 23, 2008 9:07 PM | Report abuse

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