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Posted at 7:07 AM ET, 06/30/2008

Morning Mix: Amy Winehouse Punches at Fan During Show

By Liz Kelly
Monday

Headlines: Uma Thurman engaged... Amy Winehouse punches at fan during performance... Britney Spears spends first night with sons since January... Jennifer Aniston transitions smoothly into role as John Mayer groupie... Nicole Kidman creates her own labor room mix CD (what, no Celine?)... Russell Simmons ordered to pay $40,000 a month in child support... Judge stops release of Verne Troyer sex tape... Steven Tyler says he was addicted to pain meds... "Idol" winner Ruben Studdard marries... Chris Kattan weds model girlfriend... Jennifer Lopez may testify in lawsuit against ex-boyfriend Sean "Diddy" Combs... Courtney Love carted around L.A.

Rumor Mill: Drunken Matthew McConaughey rolled by Nicaraguan samaritans... Pal says Anne Hathaway ratted out boyfriend to the feds... Woman says Michael Lohan fathered her 13-year-old daughter... Madonna's mother-in-law denies divorce reports... Sienna Miller dating married Balthazar Getty?... "Entourage's" Adrian Grenier asks clubs to pay $50,000 to host his birthday party (clearly Turtle's is needed).

Public Service Announcement: Will Smith's rep would like you to know he and wife Jada Pinkett Smith are not Scientologists. You may have been confused since the school founded by the couple teaches methods developed by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard and some of the school's faculty are practicing Scientologists.

By Liz Kelly  | June 30, 2008; 7:07 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

Welcome back...we had a few friends over while you were gone. Nothing major. International friends, actually. French and German. And a high school Latin class. Oh, and a few ponies. We all had waffles. No harm done. I'm sure everything will clean up nicely. Really. We visited some other blogs while you were away, and now we're scared straight. So...lesson learned: we'll behave like good little Lizards now.

Posted by: rachelt | June 30, 2008 7:53 AM | Report abuse

Hey, Liz! Welcome home.

What didya bring me?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 8:15 AM | Report abuse

The Smiths want you to know that the "Walks Like A Duck" truth test is inoperative.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 8:23 AM | Report abuse

Amy Winehouse only took a swing at that broad when she ignored Amy's repeated cries of, "Yo, fatty, carm down."

When I followed the "Jennifer Aniston transitions smoothly into role as John Mayer groupie" link, I really expected more of an "I'm With The Band" Pamela des Barres kind of thing - or at least a Plaster Caster.

U.S. District Judge Philip Gutierrez: thank you for your help on the Verne Troyer sex video. Now, what about "The Love Guru"...

Chris Kattan blogged that his new wife is "kind, sweet and very beautiful. She's also very funny which always is a great thing. She's also very much like me..." Which is it, Chris - is she 'very funny,' or is she 'just like you'?

If you were to see just the photo accompanying the Courtney Love article, you'd think her record label is having some crazy kind of sale.

Adrian Grenier has "been asking clubs in the Hamptons for $50,000 for the honor of throwing him a birthday party." The clubs' counteroffer: they'll throw him out for nothing. Negotiations continue.

Doesn't it say somewhere in 'Dianetics' that before his summer blockbuster is released, one of the apostles will deny L. Ron three times?

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 8:27 AM | Report abuse

Yaaay, Liz is back. Hope you had a good vacation (psst, Sasquatch, go stand in front of last Tuesday, I don't think we quite cleaned that up).

The judge blocked the release of sex tape on the grounds it constituted a crime against humanity.


Amy Winehouse apparently clocked the guy after he grabbed her breast. For once, I am on her side. What makes people think that celebrities want to be groped in public?

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 8:55 AM | Report abuse

From the New Village Academy site:
Faculty are encouraged to share particular talents and interests to enhance the curriculum.

"Class, today I'd like to share with you a piece of literature that has been really important to me."
http://tiny.cc/Q3ois

Posted by: mouse | June 30, 2008 8:58 AM | Report abuse

I don't really have any comment on the Mix (though God knows there's plenty of fodder there.) Just wanted to say 'welcome back,' Liz. Hope you had a restful vacation. It was really scary while you were gone, on a Cecil B. DeMille Biblical epic scale... People were speaking in tongues and bringing live animals into the 'public square' and eating the fruit from the tree of good and evil (or dingleberries, I can't remember which.)

Posted by: methinks | June 30, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Last Tuesday, eh? I'll have to go check that out. Thanks for the heads up, EP.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | June 30, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Oops, sorry guys.

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Way to get us in trouble ep.

Posted by: Dorkus | June 30, 2008 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Liz,

I just want you to know . . .

they made me do it.

Also, do you suppose that Brit-Brit put the kids to bed early so she could "relax"?

That Michael Lohan is such a scamp.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Welcome back Liz! Don't listen to ep, we were a bunch of well-behaved Lizards. Um, there might be a pony hidden under your desk.
Steven Tyler says he was addicted to something? Stop the presses.
And is anyone else as horrified at the prospect of another Lohan as I am? Although Dina isn't involved with this one, so maybe she can have a shot at a non-celebrity life.

Posted by: Bawlmer | June 30, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

"Judge stops release of Verne Troyer sex tape" It's too late the damage is done. 1) I know such a tape exists and 2) I know such a tape exists.

I have to thank Will and Jada's rep for the info. Now I can get some sleep, secure in the knowledge that they do not follow Xanu, Xenu, whatever his name is.

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Skinny squanque (or however we're spelling
it) Winehouse actually has boobs to grab?

If Kimora's getting $40,000 a month, does that mean we won't have to see her to TV anymore?

Posted by: Who knew? | June 30, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

So what if the school has teachers are Scientologists? My kid has Catholic teachers but it doesn't make it a Catholic school.

Posted by: Arlington, VA | June 30, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

My kid has Catholic teachers but it doesn't make it a Catholic school.

But your kid's Catholic teachers aren't proselytizing at school. Whereas Scientologists, it seems, never miss an opportunity.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 9:31 AM | Report abuse

The Britney link says she had a 12 hour overnight visit with the boys?! And they were picked up before noon on Sunday. So does that mean they arrived at her house at midnight on Saturday?

I went back and read some to Tuesdays posts. Boy you guys were on a roll. I must have come by to early in the day. I missed all the fun!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

I don't quite know why I know as much about Scientology as I do, but the issue with the Smiths' school is that they are using a Scientology methodology of learning--the information about their approach makes it very clear without ever using that one important term. Besides being pedagogically ridiculous, it also works well for getting people to accept what they read without questioning.

Also, they expect to have a total of 40 students next year. So "a few teachers are Scientologists" would be a pretty large proportion.

Posted by: mouse | June 30, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

So what if the school has teachers are Scientologists? My kid has Catholic teachers but it doesn't make it a Catholic school.

Posted by: Arlington, VA | June 30, 2008 9:28 AM
***************************************
And if your kid goes to a public school, the Catholic teachers can't proselytize. At a private school (which is what that school Will Smith founded is), anything goes.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Can we stop with the "lizards"? Its really stupid.

Posted by: farmhand, IA | June 30, 2008 9:42 AM | Report abuse

"Amy Winehouse punches at fan during performance..."

I'm wondering just how much force an Amy Winehouse punch would pack? This could be a Zen koan, like "what is the sound of one hand clapping?"

Posted by: M Street | June 30, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Can't we just pretend last week never happened? It's a brand new week. Brand new snark. Last week was an anomaly. Liz Kelly, for the love of all that is wholly, do NOT read the posts from last week. Especially Tuesday.

Posted by: jake e. poo | June 30, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Can we stop with the "lizards"? Its really stupid.
Posted by: farmhand, IA | June 30, 2008 9:42 AM

BLASPHEMER!

Posted by: Bawlmer is looking for stones. | June 30, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Welcome back Liz Kelly. If you don't want your keyboard & laptop screen to resemble that of a lizard you should stay away from last week. Someone will come by later to pick up the rogue p*ny.

Posted by: jes | June 30, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

did anyone watch the lohan-mess last night on E? i dont understand how the ally (sp?) got a record deal. she SOUNDS horrible.

Posted by: lohans? | June 30, 2008 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Will Smith is totally a Scientologist. He might be in denial because he doesn't want to torpedo his career, but the fact that he is surrounded by Scientologists and the school he founded teaches a scientology-based curriculum is very telling. I think his movies also contain scientology themes such as a lone man with extraordinary knowledge that makes him special defeats an all powerful, otherworldly power.

Posted by: woodbridge | June 30, 2008 10:13 AM | Report abuse

a lone man with extraordinary knowledge that makes him special

Like Tom Cruise on the importance of his stopping to help at traffic accidents? Has anyone even heard whether he's stopped at any lately?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 10:19 AM | Report abuse

did anyone watch the lohan-mess last night on E? i dont understand how the ally (sp?) got a record deal. she SOUNDS horrible.

Posted by: lohans? | June 30, 2008 10:09 AM

______________________________________

What have you done? You will awaken the luvlinsey monster.

Posted by: jake e. poo | June 30, 2008 10:27 AM | Report abuse

You know, when we mention a certain twice-rehabbed starlet currently receiving kudos for actually showing up to work, or whether a certain American Idol runner-up has feather boas in his closet, the BKDers come out of the woodwork.

But, when we question a cetain religion (cult) set up by a science fiction writer in order to get a tax write off, very few defenders appear. This strikes me as odd considering how defensive and litiguous they are reputed to be.

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Like Jehovah Witnesses are not allowed to vote, Maybe Scientologists are not allowed on the internets.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Four words (and an accompanying mental image) that I am trying to scrub from my mind forever: Verne Troyer sex tape.

Posted by: still | June 30, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

OK, I wasn't here Thursday and Friday, so if someone already made a "Mini Me" comment about Verne Troyer and the sex tape, my apologies.

Kimora gets more money? That'll help her efforts to make a diamond out of her dog (when was that, March?) though it doesn't mean her marriage milk is any less spoiled.

I heard a clip of Amy "singing" before she whacked the fan. Whatever was coming out of her mouth, it wasn't words or music.

I didn't read McConaughey story, but seeing "Matthew" next to "samaritan" is making me really uncomfortable right now and imagining one scary set of apostles (cf. also byoolin's earler comment about denying L. Ron three times).

Welcome back, Liz!

Posted by: td | June 30, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

How come the Scientologists get to use a cross in their logo.

I thought a cross was a Christian symbol.

Maybe we need Jerry Falwell, or somebody, to register it as a trade mark and make them stop.

Tuesdays are ususally sooooo boring. What's a gal going to do?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

In the interest of deniability, maybe we should all change our names so Liz won't throttle us about whatever you people did last week. We don't know who those out of control heathens were.

I think some of the early BKDs were when a certain couch-jumping high priest of Scientology and his lovely automatron and child were discussed in less than laudatory terms. [Trans: when posts implied that Tom Cruise and his movies suck. Testing the waters...]

Posted by: epony, I mean, brand new poster | June 30, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

I enjoyed this comment in the Britney story... apparently, we all are putting K-Fed on a "pedestool".

@farmhand - Carm down, fatty. Lizards are alsome. #1 Hater, etc...

Welcome back, Liz!

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | June 30, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else catch Travolta's Stepford Wife shaking her pretty little head to "Entertainment Tonight" last week over her hope that poor Heather Locklear won't have to take any of those evil anti-depression drugs in order to cure her (because scientology supposedly has non-drug ways that work)?

Posted by: Rolls eyes, again | June 30, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Ok, Madge & Guy are clearly headed for divorce court when his MOTHER says everything's hunky dory. The only thing that would make it more of a sure thing would be if Amber Leighton were hosting their renewal of vows in her back garden.

Posted by: jes | June 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

"Idol" winner Ruben Studdard marries... Chris Kattan

***********************************

I really need to slow down when I'm reading.

Posted by: Dorkus | June 30, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Didn't the world already hear what Jennifer Lopez had to say about Diddy?

"Think I wanna drive your Benz, I dont
If I wanna floss I got my own
Even if you were broke
My love dont cost a thing"

Or was that about somebody else? Wouldn't it just be easier to play the song in a courtroom than have JLo on the stand?

Posted by: td is glad she promotes good dental health | June 30, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Wasn't wacko Jacko a Jehovah's Witness?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

did anyone watch the lohan-mess last night on E? i dont understand how the ally (sp?) got a record deal. she SOUNDS horrible.

Posted by: lohans? | June 30, 2008 10:09 AM
***************************************
She got a record deal because Dina finally put those leggings with kneepads to work.

Posted by: Magnolia | June 30, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

ya knew liz was back... there's another courtney love story. i swear - liz - you're the only one who pays any attn to that mess...

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | June 30, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Where are my manners? I completely forgot to welcome Liz back.

If you see any posts with my handle referencing a forbidden word, that was not me.

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

She got a record deal because Dina finally put those leggings with kneepads to work.

Posted by: Magnolia | June 30, 2008 11:02 AM


well dina WAS extremely friendly with the backers of the project.

seriously though, alli's "singing" was like nails on a chalkboard.

Posted by: lohans? | June 30, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

She got a record deal because Dina finally put those leggings with kneepads to work.

Posted by: Magnolia | June 30, 2008 11:02 AM


See? Dina IS a wonderful mom - so selfless and GIVING.

Erp!

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

If you see any posts with my handle referencing a forbidden word, that was not me.

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 11:18 AM

Speaking of which -- this is a funny ad (Tidy Cats, safe for work)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbZKucCljCs

Posted by: WDC 21113 | June 30, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

When Madonna and Guy split which country gets to keep her?

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

courtney love is american royalty, ok?? she's kurt cobain's widow, for crying out loud!!! she's like jackie kennedy!! such style. such grace.

just kidding. she blows.

Posted by: wats | June 30, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Petal, Do you think Madonna will have to give up her faux-English accent? Uh oh, I used a French word here. Sorry, Liz.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

i just discovered him today. have you guys seen pix of Cristiano Ronaldo? he's an amazing specimen.

Posted by: Cristiano Ronaldo | June 30, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Courtney Love is, like, so '90s.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

England can keep Madonna

Posted by: Magnolia | June 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

We could give Madonna to Canada.

Posted by: Dorkus M. | June 30, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

"England can keep Madonna " and "We could give Madonna to Canada"

WHAT? Are you guys trying to start WWIII?

If that should happen, GB and Canada would become the new "axis of evil".

I know, I know - I'm trying to carm down.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

i just discovered him today. have you guys seen pix of Cristiano Ronaldo? he's an amazing specimen.

Posted by: Cristiano Ronaldo | June 30, 2008 11:28 AM


i think i look better in a speedo.

Posted by: speedos | June 30, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

I remember you so many years ago
What I saw in you I don't know
I saw stars when I opened your door
They landed on our fair shores
Their novel accents made them so rich
While I'm stuck playing In a rotting ditch
Now London don't swing like a pendulum do
England keep yer stars

[ Chorus: ]
So won't you keep yer stars
England keep yer stars
Won't you keep yer stars
England keep yer stars

Posted by: byoolin, quoting '80s Canadian punk band The Forgotten Rebels | June 30, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Since all but one of the guys referenced in the Mix today are So. Not. Hot., can we talk about swimming? Pretty please? Specifically, the Olympic Trials? Wow. Omaha never had so much going for it!

Posted by: BxNY | June 30, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

welcome back liz!
Reading through the morning mix I couldn't remember who Chris Katan was, but thanks to good folks at US Weekly I now know that he once worked for SNL and he looks like a Kiebler elf.
Dorkus M I don't think the Canadians want Madonna and I think Sasquatch is from there and he would be highly, highly p.o.ed at us if we stuck her with him. Sooo...I think we're going to have to shuffle her Mexico's way.

Posted by: melissamac1 | June 30, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Have you seen Cristiano Ronaldo's latest, um, love interest? Some of the pix of her on the Internet are definitely not safe for work.

BTW, does anyone else besides me think Ronaldo gets his eyebrows waxed? Ewwww!!!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Have you seen Cristiano Ronaldo's latest, um, love interest? Some of the pix of her on the Internet are definitely not safe for work.

Posted by: | June 30, 2008 11:48 AM

hey, i aint lookin at his love interest. hahaha

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Have you seen Cristiano Ronaldo's latest, um, love interest? Some of the pix of her on the Internet are definitely not safe for work.

Posted by: | June 30, 2008 11:48 AM

hey, i aint lookin at his love interest. hahaha


Posted by: | June 30, 2008 11:55 AM


You sound like you're ready to borrow Dina's knee-padded leggings!

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

hey, i aint lookin at his love interest. hahaha

Posted by: | June 30, 2008 11:55 AM

********

No, I think you are.

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Great the imposters are back.

12:01 was not me.

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

hey, i aint lookin at his love interest. hahaha

Posted by: | June 30, 2008 11:55 AM

********

No, I think you are.

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 12:09 PM


Sounds like you're jealous Byool! Just get waxed neck to knee, and your eyebrows, and anon at 11:55 will be all over you too!

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

12:14 was not me either.

Posted by: ep | June 30, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend:
http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&q=%22Nereida+Gallardo%22&btnG=Search+Images

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Is a "love interest" anything like a "special purpose"?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Is a "love interest" anything like a "special purpose"?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 12:29 PM

*********

Yes:

Cristiano Ronaldo spent the better part of his day wailin' on his 'love interest.'

Cristiano Ronaldo spent the better part of his day wailin' on his 'special purpose.'

Posted by: byoolin's theorem, demonstrated. | June 30, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Correction: I meant to type, "a-wailin'" there.

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

The only thing missing from the Madonna's denial is an upcoming Babs Walter interview where they announce that they LUUUUV each uvver soooo much! & then they're shown getting each other's names tattooed on a conspicuous body part.

Posted by: Bored @ work | June 30, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Thankyou, Byoolyn, I see.

Er, um, I mean, I don't actually SEE. But (I said "but" - hahahahaha) I think I understand.

Is "a-wailin'" anything like getting Shamued?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

While not a synonym for "a-wailin'," the word "Shamued" can sometimes appear in a sentence with it:

Pee Wee Herman was Shamued after being found a-wailin' on his personal Playhouse during a public screening of the film "Nurse Nancy."

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse


To all Lizard PC-destroying reactions to a Byoolin comment:

I'll see your diet Coke on the monitor and raise you a spray of lunch crumbs and spit.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Courtney Love is like America's Madonna.

And, for the record, I am not me either.

Posted by: M Street | June 30, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

What exactly does the uber-high-maintenance Kimora do each month that is worth $40K? Hopefully not design more skanky and oversexualized little girl clothes.

Posted by: Californian | June 30, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

"England can keep Madonna " and "We could give Madonna to Canada"

WHAT? Are you guys trying to start WWIII?

If that should happen, GB and Canada would become the new "axis of evil".

I know, I know - I'm trying to carm down.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 11:43 AM

Paybacks for giving us Celine?

Posted by: WDC 21113 | June 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Madonna is not enough payback for Celine, I say we give them the entire Lohan clan, oh and those vapid kids from the Hills. Who else can we throw in this package to Canada?

Posted by: jake e. poo | June 30, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Throw in byoolin! Send him back where he came from!

Posted by: byoolin is just a troublemaker, anyway. | June 30, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

I got stuck on that story about Sienna Miller's love life. Very confusing. There is a guy named Rhys who she is no longer dating, and a costar named Rhys (different guy) who she pretended to be dating, or maybe was dating, but really she is having a fling with a rich guy named Getty who is married.

They were trying to keep their relationship a "secret" by meeting at LA area restaurants, and hiding out at the Chateau Marmont Hotel.

So, Sienna, the lesson here is that when you are trying to keep a secret in LA, you should avoid going to places known for having hordes of paparazzi hanging around the parking lot.

Posted by: new england | June 30, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Long Time Lurker here (NOT TRYING TO MISREPRESENT MYSELF AS LLL I pinky promise)

I am going to have to stick with LTL until something inspirational hits me...

Anyhoo, ya'll are just noticing that delicious morsel known as Christiano R. ??? Soccer legs are the best... (full disclosure they usually have pretty puny chests tho') My faves is the Italian captain Cannavaro... he'd be hot hot hot in a speedo...

We return you to your regularly scheduled Celeb-session..

Posted by: LTL (not to be mistaken for LLL) | June 30, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone else here catch the Celine Dion "Not my job" quiz during this weekend's "Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me" on NPR?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | June 30, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Who else?

How about:

Imus
the Olsen twins (that's a twofer)
deceitful fake Lizards
Kevin Federline and his get
Ann Coulter
Clay Aiken and his rainbows, kittens, and unicorns (we get to keep Jesus just in case)
Amy Whine-house (even though she's not ours to give)
the Real Housewives
. . . to be continued

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

I heard the Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me segment on Celine Dion, it was hilarious.

The contestant was head honcho from the Seattle record label which basically created grunge music, discovered Kurt Cobain. He was embarrassed that he knew most of the answers to trivia questions about Celine Dion!

I am pretty sure Pamela Anderson is originally from Canada. Even if she's not, can we send her to Yellowknife or Saskatoon? Please?

Posted by: new england | June 30, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

But we're keeping Alex Trebeck and Michael J. Fox. (I know, random!)

Posted by: WDC 21113 | June 30, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

new england, you're right, Pammy was born in Canada, though I think she's a naturalized American, if not a natural one.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | June 30, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Shirley, ur, surely we can keep Leslie Nielsen, too.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | June 30, 2008 1:22 PM | Report abuse

I am tired of feeling tired of looking at Lance Armstrong's face every time I click on this website. Can we get some new advertisers for the Celebritology page please?

Posted by: Are you tired of feeling tired? | June 30, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

I'm pretty sure we've been done with Pamela Anderson for a while anyway. Might as well send what's left back to Canada to claim the deposit.

Posted by: M Street | June 30, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

I am tired of feeling tired of looking at Lance Armstrong's face every time I click on this website. Can we get some new advertisers for the Celebritology page please?

Posted by: Are you tired of feeling tired? | June 30, 2008 1:23 PM

Firefox browser and the NoScript plugin, friends. I haven't seen a stupid banner ad in months. Sometimes being a little paranoid can have unexpected benefits.

Posted by: Bawlmer | June 30, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

I am tired of feeling tired of looking at Lance Armstrong's face every time I click on this website. Can we get some new advertisers for the Celebritology page please?

Posted by: Are you tired of feeling tired? | June 30, 2008 1:23 PM

Beats the toenail fungus one that was up there for ages...

Posted by: ad ick factor | June 30, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

Imus? Coulter?

I had no idea there was such antipathy toward Canada here.

I mean, come on, people. Yes, we sent you Shatner and Shania and Celine. But Shatner is old and he's going to die soon, and Shania lives in Switzerland and Celine - okay, I've got nothing to mitigate Celine - but all of those other ones weren't even Canadians to start with.

Frankly, I'm a little bummed: tomorrow is Canada Day - my country's 141st birthday - and you're proposing to send us the Real Housewives as some kind of present? Not only can't those [ladies] skate, they wouldn't even know where to be on the ice to pick up the outlet pass!

I'm asking nicely that you withdraw this ill-conceived idea of sending your entertainment industry flotsam and jetsam north. Before you say 'no,' consider this: Celine Dion is the youngest of FOURTEEN children.

I'm not threatenin', I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: byoolin will be the first to cry, "Hold, enough!" | June 30, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

We ought to send back Ryan Reynolds as well, if only to free up Scarlett Johansson.

Posted by: Dorkus M. | June 30, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

After "The Love Guru," can we send back Mike Myers?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Soccer legs are the best... (full disclosure they usually have pretty puny chests tho')

Posted by: LTL (not to be mistaken for LLL) | June 30, 2008 1:10 PM

i think christian ronaldo kinda negates that whole premise. hahahaha.

i have to check out the italian captain!


Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

We ought to send back Ryan Reynolds as well, if only to free up Scarlett Johansson.

Posted by: Dorkus M. | June 30, 2008 1:34 PM

have you SEEN ryan reynolds? i'll keep him if you dont want him!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

My faves is the Italian captain Cannavaro... he'd be hot hot hot in a speedo...

Posted by: LTL (not to be mistaken for LLL) | June 30, 2008 1:10 PM

everyone RUN do not walk to google image search Fabio Cannavaro. You will thank me later.

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Sounds like Russell Simmons could have used the services of Fiona Shackleton. Then again, it looks like Kimora Lee may have been talking to Heather Mills.

There's one word missing from the press release on the Smiths and Scientology: YET.

I really felt like puking halfway through my first delivery, before the epidural. Nicole Kidman's tape would have come in handy.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | June 30, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

Russell Simmons probably isn't feeling too bad about the child support deal: his 2007 net worth was estimated to be about $340 million dollars. $40K a month works out to be about one one-hundredth of one percent of his net worth.

For comparison, if you had a net worth of $200K, you'd be paying $23.53/month for child support.

Posted by: byoolin | June 30, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

I really felt like puking halfway through my first delivery, before the epidural. Nicole Kidman's tape would have come in handy.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | June 30, 2008 1:46 PM

********

As an emetic?

Posted by: byoolin's Keith Urban/James Galway mix tape had that effect. | June 30, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

everyone RUN do not walk to google image search Fabio Cannavaro. You will thank me later.

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 1:45 PM


WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

everyone RUN do not walk to google image search Fabio Cannavaro. You will thank me later.

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 1:45 PM

Thank you.

Posted by: Turtle | June 30, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Happy Canada Day, Canada and byoolin!

Posted by: Californian who lived in Canada and misses it | June 30, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

James from the block, THANK YOU!

Posted by: BxNY | June 30, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

American Lizard Factoid of the Day:

Today, the 25th, is the day Jubal Early began his march on Washington DC in 1864.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Don't give James all the credit I mentioned Cannavaro first :)

He is spectacular, and ITALIAN!

Posted by: LTL | June 30, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

Today is the sublime Lena Horne's 91st birthday (anyone else remember the "60 Minutes" interview of her?). The late jazz drummer Buddy Rich, a great favorite of Johnny Carson's, was also born on the same date.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | June 30, 2008 3:08 PM | Report abuse

i think michael j. fox is an american citizen now. and i'm pretty sure pam anderson is too. since tomorrow is canada day, how about we hold off on the entertainment reject invasion till after the celebrations? that way at least byoolin will have time to leave the country.

Posted by: melissamac1 | June 30, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

In a situation like this, we must simply ask ourselves:

What would Brian Boitano do?

Posted by: LTL | June 30, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Californian,

Clearly you've never seen an episode of "Life in the Fab Lane". Kimora's assistant once took the girls to get mani-pedis and I believe a stress relieving massage. Apparently kids get so stressed they need spa days.

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

Posted by: Dorkus M. | June 30, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

for the guys and gals drooling over the beckham adverts:

www.people.com/people/article/0,,20209513,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

I did google Fabio.

Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.

Posted by: jaybbub | June 30, 2008 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of skating, today is the anniversary of Tonya Harding being banned for life from skating. I learned this on ESPN while watching lots of manflesh playing tennis at Wimbledon.
Hey, I have an idea about what to do with Madonna. Trade her to Trinidad. She'd fit right in here, especially if scantily clad, and everyone here is dying to get out.

Posted by: possum | June 30, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

Don't give James all the credit I mentioned Cannavaro first :)

He is spectacular, and ITALIAN!

Posted by: LTL | June 30, 2008 3:06 PM


Tru-dat. LTL deserves props for giving us Fabio Cannavaro. Perhaps Liz can do an extra special post/gallery of Futbol stars.

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

I would worry about Madonna in Trinidad - that leathery white skin of hers would likely burst into flame under that hot tropical sun.

Posted by: byoolin says 'To-BAY-go', you say 'To-BAH-go.' | June 30, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

everyone RUN do not walk to google image search Fabio Cannavaro. You will thank me later.

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 1:45 PM


WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!
******
WOO HOO? is that the best you can do. i'm typing by default as my eyes fell out of my head as i glanced upon his likeness. yegods.

Posted by: janet is left groping...... | June 30, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Oooh, Janet is *groping* Fabio? No fair!

And, yes, many thanx to LTL and James.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 3:42 PM | Report abuse

LTL, thank you for lurking no longer and posting about Fabio Cannavaro. You made my Monday much brighter!

Posted by: Turtle | June 30, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Gallery of soccer players:

Yes -
Beckham
Canavarro
C. Ronaldo

No -
Alexi Lalas
Cobi Jones

Posted by: White Oprah | June 30, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

I was amused by some of the comments on the Matthew McConaughey link. ("Butt Bingo Fiesta in Room 69.)

I *really* don't see the appeal in MM.

1) He can't act. At all. They only halfway decent performance he ever delivered was in A Time to Kill. How long can he coast on that?

2) There's the hygiene issue. Granted that he's in the ocean a lot, but does he actually bathe? With soap? We know he doesn't use deodorant and Kate Hudson said he stank. But he does obsessively brush his teeth.

3) He acts like an imbecile. He behaves like a big kid and comes across like he's got about half the amount of active brain cells as normal people. And what's with the bromances with Lance Armstrong (who has been acting just as creepy, IMO) and the brain-dead, acting-challenged Owen Wilson?

4) He's looking more like he was separated at birth from Woody Harrelson every day. And that's not a good thing.

OK. End of anti-MM rant. I'll go look at more hot footballer pix to restore my equilibrium now.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 4:15 PM | Report abuse

I'll go look at more hot footballer pix to restore my equilibrium now.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 4:15 PM


post links please!!!!!!!

Posted by: James from the Block | June 30, 2008 4:29 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of skating, today is the anniversary of Tonya Harding being banned for life from skating. I learned this on ESPN while watching lots of manflesh playing tennis at Wimbledon.
Hey, I have an idea about what to do with Madonna. Trade her to Trinidad. She'd fit right in here, especially if scantily clad, and everyone here is dying to get out.

Posted by: possum | June 30, 2008 3:25 PM


As a Trinidadian, I'd have to say no and I'm going to go ahead and speak for every TnT on that one. Madonna can stay in England. Someone already said she's got the faux accent.

Posted by: petal | June 30, 2008 4:29 PM | Report abuse

"...and Kate Hudson said he stank."

Well if Kate Hudson said it...

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 4:30 PM | Report abuse

You may send Madonna to Trinidad only because Whitney Houston is already in Tobago repeatedly shouting, "I love you, Trinidad!"

Posted by: td says to insert *la isla bonita* comment here | June 30, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

I come back from doing actual work and we're talking about soccer players...sorry, futbol players. Also, what are you people new? Links, we needs links. I don't want to work for my manflesh. (thanks possum for that one)

Posted by: jake e. poo, wondering what the hell happened to Celebritology | June 30, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

We could have Madonna sent to France where she would become a Freedom Skanque.

Posted by: jes | June 30, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

why not trade madge for Canavarro, Beckham, or C. Ronalado?

Posted by: trade | June 30, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

Sorry Petal. Stupid thing to say.

Posted by: possum | June 30, 2008 4:59 PM | Report abuse

why not trade madge for Canavarro, Beckham, or C. Ronalado?

Posted by: trade | June 30, 2008 4:53 PM

What's this OR business? Why not AND?

Posted by: Anonymous | June 30, 2008 5:01 PM | Report abuse

http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLR,GGLR:2008-12,GGLR:en&q=fabio+cannavaro&um=1&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=1&ct=title

My work totally banned the one I want to look at most... If you all will excuse me I am going to go smoke a cig now...

whew

Posted by: LTL (wipes her sweaty brown with a trembling hand) | June 30, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

that's sweaty brow.... jesh...

Posted by: LTL | June 30, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

Ok back to celebrity stuff... I think I might actually close the door and back away if MM or Lance were the one ringing the bell. I know, I know but think about it, to go where one (or both) of the Trollsens have been??? I'd be worried that I'd start dressing like that or would start to think that a lettuce leaf constitued your average daily diet...

Posted by: LTL (swears she's been around, today just happend to be a Fabio day) | June 30, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Fabio Cannavaro...can I just say YOWZA!!!!

MM is basically playing the same character over and over and it seems to be ... himself.
Acting? What acting?

Posted by: hermespal | June 30, 2008 5:30 PM | Report abuse

I can't help but wonder about the audience for the Propper Nacked butt shots like the one of the soccer dude.

Cleigh, perhaps?

Or just cormulent a**ficianados?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | June 30, 2008 5:59 PM | Report abuse

I've been trying to post soccer links, as requested, but I've been blocked. So, I'm going to try to break them down and do them player by player and see if that works.

But this is why I'm posting a bunch of individual links rather than just putting them all in one big post.

This is purely as a community service, mind you. (And there's really nothing dirty there, so I'm not sure what the problem is.) Straight guys, you can just send each other ScarJo pix.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:06 PM | Report abuse


Frank Lampard:

http://www.franklampard.info/pictures/index.php?gal=1&pic=1

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:07 PM | Report abuse

Pavel Nedved:

http://www.pavelnedved.org/photos/

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:08 PM | Report abuse

Michael Ballack:

http://www.michael-ballack.com/?401A1A2

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:09 PM | Report abuse

Luca Toni:

http://www.oleole.com/player/lucatoni/pl15i.html

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Ricardo Kaka:

http://www.ricardo-kaka.com/

http://www.ricardo-kaka.com/gallery/modelling/gq1.php

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:12 PM | Report abuse

Mauro Camoranesi:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25944557@N06/2561618121/

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:13 PM | Report abuse

Cristian Zaccardo:

http://allaboutcristian.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=toprated&cat=0

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:14 PM | Report abuse

The site just won't take my Cannavaro, Ronaldo, or Daniele De Rossi links. You can Google them yourselves, along with Philipp Lahm, Lukas Podolski, Joe Cole, Gigi Buffon, and a host of other names. But this should be enough to get you started!

You're welcome.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:21 PM | Report abuse

"...and Kate Hudson said he stank."

Well if Kate Hudson said it...

Posted by: | June 30, 2008 4:30 PM
*************

Seriously. After Chris Robinson, Owen Wilson, and Lance Armstrong, she should know all about stink.

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 6:28 PM | Report abuse

http://www.italylogue.com/about-italy/10-hottest-italian-footballers-according-to-jessica.html

Posted by: MORE yummy pix | June 30, 2008 7:15 PM | Report abuse

"Jessica" has a very nice site, but by limiting herself to Italians, she's missing out on other skillful international soccer players like Andrei Shevchenko:

http://blog.kievukraine.info/uploaded_images/4086-756250.jpg

Posted by: alex | June 30, 2008 7:29 PM | Report abuse

your pix are all ok - my only complaint is that they're not shirt or skivie-less!

Posted by: for alex | June 30, 2008 8:02 PM | Report abuse

True, my sites were pretty sedate, but a lot of the presumably racier ones were blocked from my work computer. (Can't imagine why my employer doesn't want me ogling nearly nekkid men on work time!) But I figure y'all can use these as starting points--decide which of these talented athletes you need to study up on their stats.

Posted by: alex apologizes for failing miserably | June 30, 2008 9:00 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin, you are giving me a self-complex. I thought I had a healthy sense of humor, but I only "get" about 25% of your witty remarks. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of laughter!

Posted by: To Byoolin | July 1, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

I have viewed many hot singles' videos and photos at a club---------- ++++++ u k i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m +++++++ --------- where many black and white singles who are seeking for ideal match seriously...

Posted by: alice | July 2, 2008 5:14 AM | Report abuse

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