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Posted at 8:46 AM ET, 06/ 5/2008

Morning Mix: TomKat Headed to Big Apple

By Liz Kelly

David Beckham arrives at the opening of Gordon Ramsey's new L.A. restaurant The London West Hollwood. And, no, he won't be waiting tables. (Getty Images)
Thursday

Headlines: TomKat move to New York ahead of Katie's Broadway run... Alannis Morissette says she's dating again... Amy Winehouse compares husband's court proceedings to "Disneyland"... Jack Black blames his wife for outing Angelina Jolie's twins... Gillian Anderson expecting third child... Kelsey Grammer released from hospital following heart attack... Tom Hanks gets finger boo-boo on Rome "Angels and Demons" set... Paul McCartney hosting virtual dinner party for charity... George Takei to wed longtime partner in September... Johnny Rotten accused of punching ex-assistant.

Pix: Angelina Jolie's Vanity Fair spread... Muscular Madonna... Charlie Sheen wedding snaps.

Crime Watch: Dennis Farina hit with weapons charges in airport incident... Paparazzo arrested for "stalking" Jamie Lynn Spears... John Mayer cited for L.A. traffic violation.

Rumor Mill: "Entertainment Tonight" knew Brangelina birth story was bogus... Brad Pitt drops $50K on sculptures... Rep says Kenny Chesney is not engaged... Joe Simpson almost drove Tony Romo away from Jessica... Drew Barrymore gets her tongue pierced.

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's glam edition of Celebritology Live.

By Liz Kelly  | June 5, 2008; 8:46 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Puff Piece: Three Things for Thursday

Comments

Let's hope Alanis' new boyfriend is as much of a bat-rastard as Dave Coulier was - she hasn't had a hit in forever.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly, *of course* Beckham won't be waiting tables: that whole outfit is a tear-away. It's only a matter of minutes before they'll be stuffing fives and tens in his g-string.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Another Way The Universe Is Telling You That It's Time For A Change Of Career:

When you find yourself spending four days in Nowheresville trying to take pictures of a pregnant teenager with your telephoto lens, your "photography career" is only slightly more advanced than that of the guy at the mall who's trying to shoot up women's skirts.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:07 AM | Report abuse

I'd be more than happy to stuff some bills down Beckham's g-string. rahrrrr.

Posted by: jelo | June 5, 2008 9:11 AM | Report abuse

I hope George Takei and his fella change their minds about wearing white tuxedos for the wedding. That's so overdone.

Posted by: methinks | June 5, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Do we know which amusement park Ms. Winehouse really meant?

I ask because from the description of her clothes it sounds like she was dressed for Eurodisney.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

I'd be more than happy to stuff some bills down Beckham's g-string. rahrrrr.

Posted by: jelo | June 5, 2008 9:11 AM

****

I'll bet you would. But doesn't he look like he's ready to work at a club that's more geared to the XY-chromosome set?

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Really, Jack, your wife is a ventriloquist? Cause that was you sitting on that set discussing the twins, not her.

Posted by: ep | June 5, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

TomKat move to NY....didn't they _just_ have a housewarming party for the mansion they bought over a year ago? Time must progress differently when you are uber-famous.

Posted by: Omaha | June 5, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Tom Hanks hurt his finger....see God is warning you not to make Angels and Demons as crappy as the Da Vinci Code.

Posted by: michael | June 5, 2008 9:20 AM | Report abuse

When I read "Charlie Sheen wedding snaps," I thought that last word was a verb.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

I like fine art as much as the next person, but Brad's chair look like it been torched a few times.

Posted by: Lisa1 | June 5, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Drew Barrymore's pierced tongue can't possibly give her a worse lispth.

Posted by: M Street | June 5, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Brad, sweetie, just because its expensive, doesn't mean its good.

Posted by: jake e. poo | June 5, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

"Walter Koenig, who played Chekov in 'Star Trek,' will be the best man and Nichelle Nichols, who played Uhura, will be the matron of honor."

Man, I couldn't even make up stuff this good.

"Chekov, the ring please." "Aye, Sulu."

I'm not sure I'd have two people I worked with 40 years ago as the witnesses at my wedding. But more power to him really that they've all stayed close.

Dave Coulier dated Alanis Morrissette?! I think my head just exploded. And if was her first, the 15-year age difference must've made Davey boy quite proud of himself. I'm suddenly regretting breakfast.

Posted by: td | June 5, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

I hope Alanis' boyfriend is as much of a rat b-st-rd as Dave Coulier, just so he can push her closer to me. I'll heal her heartbreak any day.

..and is it just me, or is Madonna looking almost too thin these days?

Posted by: Pompous Magnus | June 5, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

'Us Magazine' needs (in addition to anyone who can actually write worth a damn, I mean) to put a mathematician on staff:

"...Brad Pitt dropped more than $50,000 on art in Switzerland.

"He bought two bronze chairs designed by Max Lamb (at $25,000 a pop!).... a foam and fiberglass "Family Lamp" ... and reportedly a $293,000 table."

I suppose that ($25,000 x 2) + (unknown) + $293,000 is, technically speaking, "more than $50,000", but it still sounds like they learned their math at the same place Baldrick did (as featured in Blackadder II, episode 2).

Edmund: Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?

Baldrick: Some beans.

Edmund: Yes...and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

Baldrick: A very small casserole.

Edmund: Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?

Baldrick: Three.

Edmund: What?

Baldrick: And that one.

Edmund: Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?

Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Totally straight female here, but those pics of Angelina are completely stunning.

Posted by: Sigh | June 5, 2008 9:44 AM | Report abuse

It deserves significant mention that Dana Scully's boyfriend is the director of the magnificent film, the cinematic tour de force, the universally acclaimed Best Movie Ever, HARDBODIES.

Posted by: Scammin' Jammin' Scotty Palmer | June 5, 2008 9:44 AM | Report abuse

td, Dave "Not In A Million Years Will I Ever Be Funny" Coulier is the "You" in "You Oughta Know."

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Is it me, or does Charlie Sheen look drunk in that wedding picture?

Also, note the flowers on Brooke Mueller's (Sheen's) head. She must have had the same idea Jenna Bush did for her sister.

Posted by: glebe | June 5, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

Madonna looks terrible in those photos. She doesn't even look healthy, just skinny and ropey - not attractive at all.

Posted by: sunnydaze | June 5, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

Oh Byoolin -

please, stop, my sides are hurting. I must look into this Blackadder series.

Posted by: BeachGirl | June 5, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

I'm more mystified that Jack Black runs in the same circles as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Did they meet at a cocktail party?

JACK: Okay, so you're Brad Pitt!

BRAD: No kidding. Like I haven't heard THAT one before, Shania. I had to come to the party, though I'm on my way to buy some art. Who knew fiberglass family lamps were so hard to come by?

ANGELINA: Ahem!

BRAD: How rude of me. What was your name again?

JACK: Jack. Jack Black.

BRAD: Nice to meet you, Jack. Have you met my, er, uh, girlf--, no, wait, mother of my children, Angelina?

ANGELINA: Jack, hello! I loved you in "Nacho Libre." Que bueno! Psst, can you keep a secret? I'm expecting twins! We just got the news. . . .

Posted by: td | June 5, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

David Beckham is smokin'. I'd definitely go gay for Angelina. And Madonna is just scary - she looks too hard and untouchable.

Big ups to Charlie Sheen for referring to the mother of (2 of his) children as "what's-her-face". You stay classy, Charles.

Posted by: jaybbub | June 5, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

td, Dave "Not In A Million Years Will I Ever Be Funny" Coulier is the "You" in "You Oughta Know."

Posted by: byoolin | June 5, 2008 9:45 AM
-------------

I'm with you there on his (lack of) comic skills. No wonder the Olson Twins always look so dear-in-the-headlights now; it's from having to suffer all those years of DC's execrable mugging.

"You Oughta Know" actually makes Dave seem almost interesting. Almost.

Posted by: td | June 5, 2008 10:01 AM | Report abuse

"You" -- may or may not be Dave Coulier.

Apparently, it has never quite been confirmed:

http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/oughta.asp

That's one odd pairing, though.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | June 5, 2008 10:01 AM | Report abuse

Brad only bought the "Family Lamp" to stop Angelina from trying to adopt it.

Posted by: epony | June 5, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

jack black & angelina both did voice work for kung fu panda (the movie they were promoting) which is why they "run" in the same circles.

Posted by: methinks | June 5, 2008 10:07 AM | Report abuse

Thanks, methinks!

Posted by: td | June 5, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

byoolin-

"I'll bet you would. But doesn't he look like he's ready to work at a club that's more geared to the XY-chromosome set?"
================================
You lie you lie you lie!!! Why do you lie?!?!?

Posted by: jelo | June 5, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

ummm, who wouldnt blame brad for leaving anniston for anjelina after seeing those pix!

Posted by: .!. | June 5, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

"So I took a break, and it's been a committed passive recover for me. But there have been huge payoffs already."
- Alannis Morrisette

Isn't "committed passive recover" oxymoronic?

Don't you think?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | June 5, 2008 10:29 AM | Report abuse

I'm wondering "why?" re: the pic of Jackie Kennedy in the background of the fourth (i think) Angelina photo. Has anyone read the article? Is there a reason for that photo?

Posted by: methinks | June 5, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Beachgirl, if you like Blackadder, you'll LOVE Jeeves and Wooster. Get thee to thy netflix queue, quick.

Posted by: CoHi | June 5, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

What Us failed to mention is that Brad HAD to pay $50K to buy for "Family Lamp" and that scorched chair made by Pax and Maddox since no one else would buy them

Posted by: auction at sotheby's?? | June 5, 2008 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Gee, Gillian Anderson and her boyfriend look totally p%$&ed off in that pic.

Posted by: Ame | June 5, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

"'Katie's not a celebrity type,' Falkenstein says. 'She's done brilliant work in films like Pieces of April and The Ice Storm.'"

Stop. "The Ice Storm"?! If memory serves, Katie Holmes' character gets drunk and passes out and is a lump for the rest of her limited screen time. Perhaps "Pieces of April" shows more range. (Now if you want to talk about Katie in "Thank You for Smoking," I'm all ears.) The article continues:

"He calls Holmes 'a natural sweetheart who can sniff out phonies ... Katie basically has that exact moral fiber [of her character in the play].' "

Of course she can "sniff out phonies." She married one. Moving on:

"At the first table-read, Holmes 'took notes... asked questions... [she] loves being around theater people,' Falkenstein says."

She "loves being around theater people" sounds a bit condescending, no? Hey, if it gets her out of Tom's evil hovering gaze once in a while, good for her.

Posted by: td | June 5, 2008 10:52 AM | Report abuse

I don't care that he's wearing a waiter-turned-stripper-turned-friend-of-Dorthy wardrobe and his wifey looks the wicked witch of scientology friends. DB is YUM. MY.

Posted by: Osteph | June 5, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Ooo! I love Tom's little jacket. Looks like it has an extra back-fat flap to
cover up his heinie.

Posted by: possum | June 5, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

black adder is awesome.... and it has House before he was House!

as we say down here in the south, "angelina done cleaned up real good"

Posted by: b | June 5, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

I wonder if Tom plans on lurking about backstage, handing out scientology pamphlets and jumping on prop furniture while Katie works....

Posted by: b | June 5, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

I got an Arlington Alert email warning of traffic delays due to a movie being filmed at Williamsburg Blvd and Westmoreland St between and 9:00 and 3:00 today. Does anyone know what's going on?

Posted by: arlington | June 5, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

So that's what the tons of RVs and food service people were there for! I live right at that corner, and wondered about it, but we were running late and didn't think too much about. I would love to know!!

Posted by: LL | June 5, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Isn't "committed passive recover" oxymoronic?
Don't you think?
Posted by: MoCoSnarky
=========
No. It's IRONIC -- you know, like rain on your wedding day.

Posted by: LLL | June 5, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

can there be a moratorium on all things charlie sheen/denise richards?? those two are gunning for Worst Parents EVER!!! and who is this twit who just got between that dog and that fire hydrant? love how she is planning the sex of her unborn child. why sheen would ever want to marry again is beyond me anyway. i agree with jaybub above, "stay classy, charlie...and you, too, denise!"

Posted by: wats | June 5, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

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Posted by: mobile ringtones | June 5, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

I can't be the only one who thinks Jen removed John's back license plate so that if he tried to make a clean get-away, the cops would pull him over.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | June 5, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Drew's boyfriend must be thrilled.

"Ann starts out as a simple, sweet, average Midwesterner, and by the finale gets up the gumption to stand and confront what's wrong," he adds."
Is this role prophetic for Katie-bot?

In that photo of Alanis Morrissette, there's a photo to the left of Posh looking like she's attempting to move her lips into something resembling ... a ... is it? A smile? Nah. Must be a facial tic.

Is Madonna a man?

Posted by: Californian | June 5, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Isn't "Johnny Rotten accused of punching ex-assistant" redundant?

Posted by: Red Dragon | June 5, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

arrrrggggg, the ad at the top of this page is for the official website of 25 years of Tom Cruise.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 5, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Johnny Rotten - maybe not redundant, but certainly not surprising. And not even NEARLY the worst thing a Sex Pistol ever did to someone else...

(Did anyone else ever see the episode of Judge Judy where a drummer sued Johnny for back wages after he'd been fired? JJ & JR seemed to have a little bit of chemistry, I thought.)

Posted by: byoolin was a girl from Birmingham. | June 5, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Methinks, I read the article and no, there is no mention of the picture or reference to it. But the captions say the shoot was at a house in Malibu, so it probably belongs to the owner of the house and they just didn't move it.

I confess I never noticed it, couldn't take my eyes off the subject. ;-)

Posted by: hermespal | June 5, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Appropos of nothing much, the link is not quite correct about the pix in Vanity Fair--the last three are not in the magazine, and there are two in the magazine that are not on this site--one of which is a stunning outdoor shot. You can see them here:

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/07/jolie_portfolio200807

Posted by: hermespal | June 5, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Truly, one person's beautiful is another's hideous. I think Angelina is awful, and the "ragged caravan" of helpers who trail around after these gypsies is nauseating. Poor kids. And Vanity Fair should really get a clue -- "everyone's favorite humanitarian and mother"? Yeah, just like K. Fed's a father of the year. What planet do they live on that Jolie is in the same category as a real humanitarian that isn't a media wh*re doing it solely for publicity?

Posted by: Nausea, uninterrupted | June 5, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

i'm no angelina apologist, but who says angelina is a humanitarian for the publicity it brings HER? she does it for the publicity it brings to people and places that might not ever make it into the news. if cameras are going to follow her (and they do!), her theory is that she might as well take them to places that need the attention. i think that's pretty swell.

now her ripping her kids out of school all the time and relocating is another story. really not good for them (nor is the diet of cheetos, but we've already established that).

Posted by: wats | June 5, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

They are both actors, they don't work at the same time so one parent is always attending, and they relocate to wherever the working parent is shooting. The only bad thing about moving the kids around is probably socialization skills--which on the other hand may actually get better by meeting new kids in new locations. But it isn't axiomatic that staying put behind a white picket fence makes for well-adjusted kids. They've been living this multi-cultural lifestyle practically from birth. I'm not sure anyone is qualified to say it is a bad thing.

Posted by: just sayin' | June 5, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

True, Angelina Jolie brings attention to causes that wouldn't normally get attention, but she is not a humanitarian, Mother Theresa was a humanitarian. Someone who made a real sacrifice to help others.

Posted by: Humanitarian? I think not. | June 5, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 5, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

Another believer in the myth of Mother Theresa as a humanitarian. Objective assessment says otherwise.

Posted by: christopher hitchens | June 5, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Brangelina's kids are socialized enough. Aren't there something like 8 or 9 of them by now?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | June 5, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

"Nausea, interrupted" notwithstanding

Anyone remember that episode of Friends where everyone gets to pick their list of 5 famous people that they could sleep with if they ever met them and not get in trouble with their significant other? Well our friends have all decided that Angelina is assumed to be on your list (male or female) and you can pick 5 more people. Of course later in the episode, Ross actually met someone (almost) on his list and was immediately shut down, which is exactly what would happen to most regular people, I'm sure. But it's fun to think about who would go on your list! Friday list idea, Liz?

Posted by: tl | June 5, 2008 4:59 PM | Report abuse

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 5, 2008 3:35 PM

******************

Sasquatches. (Sasquatchi?)

Posted by: medium rare | June 5, 2008 5:03 PM | Report abuse

Mother Theresa certainly believed in more humans, as she was opposed to birth control. Don't really think more people is good for humanity.

Well, Brangelina have no friends (even George Clooney's probably deleted Mr. Angelina from his book by now), so I guess they wouldn't care that their kids don't ever have a chance to make friends. And how can they possibly be learning anything in school when they're only in one for a few weeks before moving to another one? Didn't they enroll one of them in a lycee in NYC for a few minutes and the press made a big deal of it? Poor kid was only there like a week.

I'm betting half the kids will be messed up like Angelina and half will settle down in white-picket-fence suburbia and never move again.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 5, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

"If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?"

Hee hee ... Sasquatch gets my vote for quote of the week.

Hard as it is to top the one about Eva Longoria "probably just ate an M&M."

My friends and I used to have our Top TEN. Why limit it to just 5 fantasies?

Posted by: Californian | June 5, 2008 5:09 PM | Report abuse

Californian, I can't take credit for the vegetarian-humanitarian question. It's been around for a long time.

I've never considered what should be the plural of Sasquatch. That's because there aren't many of my type around. Thankful, you are.

There's me and my girlfriend, Ms. Snatchquatch. There's my second cousin, twice removed (for public drunkenesss and for petty theft) the GEICO Caveman, who lives a few caves down the road. There's my distant relative, Yeti, who for years has been wanting to visit, but the Chinese refuse to give him a passport, claiming that he's a minion of the Dalai Lama. There's my friend Yeren who operates a Cantonese restaurant in Szechuan (don't ask), and who's been working behind the scenes to assist in the rebuilding after the quake. There's my third cousin Yowie in Western Australia who keeps making excuses about the long Pacific flight and the lack of legroom in coach.

Those rat-b@st@rds who run the Vancouver Winter Olympics have a mascot that is a cuter version of me. They call him Quatchi. But do I get any licensing revenue? Not one Loonie.

Damn Canucks.

Posted by: Sasquatch | June 5, 2008 5:47 PM | Report abuse

If Eva Longoria just ate an M & M, then at least it didn't involve a waitress or waiter--she's notorious for stiffing service people and treating valet parkers like sh*t.

Posted by: Anonymous | June 5, 2008 6:13 PM | Report abuse

Well, who says this blog isn't educational? Never heard of a Yowie, but thanks to Wikipedia I now know that Yowie refers to a number of items:

--a Yowie is a rare cultivar of the marijuana plant, also known as the Maui-Wowy. (I assume Sasquatch was also quite familiar with this reference, as well.)

--a Yowie is an Australian cryptid--the generic (and somewhat affectionate) term for the unidentified hominid reputed to lurk in the Australian wilderness. It is an Australian cryptid similar to the Himalayan Yeti and the North American Bigfoot.

--Yowie is a math rock band from St. Louis. (I have no idea what a math rock band is. Maybe a meth rock band. . .)

--The Cadbury Yowie is a confectionery from the Cadbury-Schweppes company.

Thanks, Professor Sasquatch.

Posted by: Dr. Bunyip | June 5, 2008 6:16 PM | Report abuse

Dr. Bunyip, you forgot Howie Mandel's hirsute brother, Yowie Mandel.

Say Hello to Nessie next time you see her.

Posted by: Professor Sasquatch | June 5, 2008 6:34 PM | Report abuse

I did! And Yowie obviously stole all of Howie's hair.

BTW, I thought you were heading over to Chez Liz to share mojitos with the hubby while the missus was playing in FL. . .

Posted by: Dr. Bunyip | June 5, 2008 6:48 PM | Report abuse

Oh Lordy! Look at the time! Dr. Bunyip, thanks for the reminder.

Gotta go meet Ms. Snatchquatch and trade off the car, then haul @$$ over to meet Mister Liz in North Arlington. Gotta pick up the rum. Is there an ABC store in Lyon Village Shopping Center? Damn! I forget!!

TTFN!

Posted by: Professor Sasquatch | June 5, 2008 6:56 PM | Report abuse

Hmmm--don't think so, but there are several in Arlington so you shouldn't have a problem. And don't forget your stash of Maui-Wowy for good measure. (Liz will never know if you keep the windows cracked.)

Posted by: Dr. Bunyip | June 5, 2008 7:22 PM | Report abuse

Slow emergence of truth: Beckham the narcissistic blank page.

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