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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 07/15/2008

Comment Box: Stars, They're Just Like Us

By Liz Kelly
Comment Box

So what with the grand hoohah over A-Rod's divorce, I was thinking about celebrity dating habits. Do you think celebrities actually have more relationships, or shorter relationships, than other people in similar circumstances? Is it that we see more of John Mayer's romantic misadventures than we do of Bob who works down the hall? Or is it that Mayer gets more opportunities than Bob to, uh, wrestle the taco? -- from last week's Celebritology Live discussion


Drew Barrymore and recent ex Justin Long. (AP)

At the risk of sounding a bit testy this morning, can I just ask: Are you for real? This is one of those questions that just confounds me. Unless you sent this question in 1952 and submitted it to Thursday's chat via some wormhole in the space-time continuum, I have got to dismiss it as incredibly naive. No, wait -- naive is too innocuous -- as willfully ignorant. I hesitate to answer because how could you possibly be serious. This is, to me, akin to asking if there's any truth to the rumor that celebs give birth via their belly buttons (nope) or really drink the blood of former child stars to retain their youthful vigor (not all of them).

You see where I'm going here, right? If not, this trite phrase comes to mind:

Stars, they're just like us.

Sure, celebrity relationships are sensationalized and exploited for every last ad dollar that publishers -- and bloggers -- can wring from them. So, yes, there is a certain level of overexposure going on. Every incremental moment of a celeb-related relationship is thrust upon us will all the force of a breaking news headline. Witness this morning's pix of a casual stroll down a New York City street by Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie. The couple is rumored to be on the rocks, so even a nonchalant public appearance sends hordes of paps into overdrive hoping to catch one shot of them holding hands or, alternatively, looking at each other wrong.

But do you really think you know more about Madonna's relationship than, say, the ins-and-outs of the on-again, off-again affair between two co-workers in your office who just so happened to be otherwise married yet are rumored to be in the midst of a torrid after-work affair? Do you talk more about John Mayer's revolving bedroom door or your cousin, who seems to show up at every family function with a new boyfriend? In fact, the sordid details of our everyday lives have given rise to sites like gossipreport.com, where average Joes get their kicks by sharing salacious details about the lives of those around them. In fact, the site was the subject of this hilarious column just last month.

You get my point, I hope. We think, therefore we are. We gossip, therefore we are human. Celebs, friends, co-workers, cousins -- all fair game. And, unfortunately, all equally able of providing plenty about which to talk.

Creative Captioning


(Reuters)

Last week, I asked you to come up with the best caption ever for this pic of the surprisingly flexible Pam Anderson. You came through admirably, though only two really stood out as true winners:

Later that night, Kid Rock got in a fight with the studio floor. -- Dorkus M.

Continuing a tradition started by Pope John Paul II, who kissed the ground when he arrived in country, Pamela Anderson embraces Australia. -- Sasquatch

And, this week for the first time in the history of Celebritology, we also honor the lamest caption ever submitted:

Her breasts were so heavy she just split in half. -- jackdmom

Read all the entries here.

By Liz Kelly  | July 15, 2008; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Comment Box  
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