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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 07/30/2008

Creative Captioning: Chris Martin's Got the Look

By Liz Kelly

He's married to insouciant Gwyneth Paltrow and dreamt of by Miley Cyrus, so what could Chris Martin possibly have to fear? Perhaps he's horrified at yet another "mommy afternoon" visit from Gwynnie's pal Madonna?

Whatever the case, it is up to you to diagnose Mr. Martin's major malfunction and craft it into the witty winning caption that will forever claim you the title of Official Celebritology Captionologist for the week of July 28 - Aug. 1. The best entries will be listed here Monday.


By Liz Kelly  | July 30, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Next: Comic-Con Bonus Video: The Fans' Assessment


Chris Martin learned too late that wife Gwyneth Paltrow misunderstood the meaning of "insouciant."

Posted by: byoolin | July 30, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

This photo is not caption-worthy, Liz.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 30, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

The lizards now understand why Gwennie must "force" herself to have another baby.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | July 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Chris Martin reacts to getting stabbed in the a$$ with the adrenaline stick.

Posted by: Right Winger | July 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Tended to by a groupie, Chris Martin enjoys a rush of blood to the head.

Posted by: byoolin | July 30, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Miley Cyrus is Hannah Montanna??

Posted by: Osteph | July 30, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Chris Martin realizes too late that he did not lock the door to his quite room. He can sense that Gwyneth is in there.

Posted by: petal, finally done reading the Comic Con coverage | July 30, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Overnight reports from London indicate that a 50-foot-tall monster said to resemble Chris Martin of Coldplay is stalking Saville Row after having destroyed several Tube stations.

Posted by: byoolin | July 30, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

"Someone did a horrifyingly bad job of cropping my photo."

Posted by: Nick | July 30, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse


You should have used the Vinnie Pastore photo from the thumbnail at the top of the page. The caption for that picture writes itself.

Posted by: Nick | July 30, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin acts out a scene from the 1988 cinematic classic "Young Einstein." "Apple" farmer indeed!

Posted by: lydiflei | July 30, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin today announced he has signed on to reprise Jack Nance's role in "Eraserhead."

Posted by: b | July 30, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Owe the humanity!

(Thus, the Celebritology world comes round full circle.)

Posted by: mouse | July 30, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

We've replaced Chris Martin's concert piano with a synthesizer set to "kazoo". Let's see if he notices.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 30, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

"Gwynnie's in London, I'm on tour in Australia, and yet I still hear that nattering voice . . . every freakin' minute of the day."

Posted by: Nick | July 30, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Chris's world comes crashing down around him after he realizes that while he may have smelt it, he was NOT the one that dealt it.

Posted by: Rob | July 30, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Upon realizing his the details of his life were foreshadowed by Shallow Hal, Chris Martin finally gets a good look at Jack Black.

Posted by: cee_jay | July 30, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin finally realizes that Metallica wasn't being that serious back then.

Activating eye lasers in 3...2...1...

"So this is what happens when you stick it in a socket."

Posted by: EricS | July 30, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin decides to show daughter, Apple, the exact repercussions of putting a paperclip in an electric outlet.

I actually think it would be more fun to do a collaborative story on this.
For instance: Chris Martin approached the UFO as the doors opened to reveal....

Posted by: Em | July 30, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

"Gwynnie, this UV light has cleaned my nostrils out perfectly"

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 30, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

"Ground Control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on..."

Posted by: M Street | July 30, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

As he begins his first song, Chris Martin surveys the carnage and realizes that hiring Jerry Lewis as his opening act was not a good idea.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 30, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin auditions for the rock-opera remake of 'Amadeus'.

Posted by: yellojkt | July 30, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

And Em totally stole my 'Close Encounters' set-up.

Posted by: yellojkt | July 30, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin has just learn "Solvent Green is Apple."

Posted by: Susquanhanna Twps | July 30, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Oops, I just took a Celinedion in my pants.

Posted by: dw | July 30, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

What do you mean Gwyenth isn't alright with "Chewbacca"?

Posted by: fft5305 | July 30, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin auditions for Tim Curry's role in the remake of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Posted by: Magnolia | July 30, 2008 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Martin suddenly realizes that his wife's threats to castrate him were not just threats after all.

Posted by: kvs | July 30, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Photography prodigy Apple Martin captures Daddy at the moment he realizes Mommy has taken her shoe obsession to the ultimate level: she comes walking in on a pair of stilts.

Posted by: 44west | July 30, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me!

Posted by: MaryB | July 30, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

see me...feel me...touch me...heal me.

(from 'tommy')

Posted by: adfmay | July 30, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Someone tell Paul Simon we're running late for our "Scarborough Fair" number!


(But dw gets my vote.)

Posted by: alex | July 30, 2008 2:58 PM | Report abuse

No Gwynnie! Not another marcobiotic wheatgrass shake! I just can't take it anymore!

Posted by: TheBard | July 30, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

Oh, God! I can't believe where Liz got her latest tattoo!

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 30, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

I let my wife name our children "What?"

Posted by: sjcpeach | July 30, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

While waiting in the receiving line for Her Majesty, The Queen, Chris Martin suddenly realizes that he's wearing pleated pants.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 30, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Fletch | July 30, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

vote for MoCoSnarky!!

That was awesome!!!

People at the Detroit airpoirt are staring at my giggling.

Posted by: unmute | July 30, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Chris' nightmare comes true. As he steps out on the stage, he hears "Living La Vida Loca Tour with Coldplay opening for Ricky Martin"

Posted by: unmute | July 30, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin reacts to the news that he and his wife 'owe it to humanity to have more children'.

Posted by: jes | July 30, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

"Wow, Gwynnie, those pants DO make your butt look big!"

Posted by: 98102 | July 31, 2008 1:52 AM | Report abuse

"Whenever wife Gwyneth is away for weeks shooting a film, hubby Chris Martin makes do with strategically placed electrical outlets at the family compound."

Posted by: CJB | July 31, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Chris Martin reacts to the sight of Gwyneth actually eating a real meal consisting of a Philly cheesesteak sandwich "wit" onions instead of her usual meal of one bite of sprouts. Realizes she might actually obtain some body fat.

Posted by: ripariandweller | July 31, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

This twin has the Toni.

This is my best license photo yet.

Note to self: Shave on school-picture day.

Even with earplugs I cannot escape the insouciance.

Am I part of the disease?

(Though my vote goes to the Tommy reference above.)

Posted by: td | August 1, 2008 8:29 AM | Report abuse

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