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Posted at 10:44 AM ET, 07/18/2008

Friday List: The Do Not Snark List

By Liz Kelly

Meryl Streep: Ne snark pas? (Getty Images)
Friday List

This week's Q&A with universally worshiped "Dirty Jobs" host Mike Rowe got one Celebritology reader to wondering -- who else is on the list of celebs we like so much that we can't bring ourselves to even raise an ironic eyebrow in their general direction?

Who else is so adored, admired or adulated that he or she is immune from the barbed tongues that wag daily here in the thriving Celebritology comment community? Even Most Admired Celeb of 2007 Angelina Jolie has been targeted for her lips, her up-and-down career, her courtship of Brad Pitt and, more than once, her general demeanor.

Who meets the rigid criteria required to become a Celebritology Unsnarkable? Add your suggestions to the list below. Your choices will probably help to inform one of the 2008 Lizzies Award categories (coming in September!).

By Liz Kelly  | July 18, 2008; 10:44 AM ET
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Comments

First!

Posted by: First Comment | July 18, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Helen Mirren (obviously)
Jamie Lee Curtis
Tina Turner

Posted by: spartan | July 18, 2008 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Just a few of my choices would be:

Morgan Freeman
David Duckovny (spelling)
Reece Witherspoon


Posted by: Irishgirl | July 18, 2008 11:08 AM | Report abuse

Stephen Colbert
Jon Stewart
Lewis Black

Is there a theme here?

Kate Winslet

I second and third the Helen Mirren nomination.

Posted by: Sasquatch, aka, "one Celebritology reader " | July 18, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Unsnarkable?

Never mind whether or not that's even a word. I didn't even know it was a *concept*.

Of course, I routinely make fun of Jesus, babies, and people with handicaps.

Posted by: byoolin especially likes to make fun of the little clubfooted baby Jesus. | July 18, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

I vote for Johnny Depp.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Paul Newman
Mark Harmon
Dames Diana Rigg, Judi Dench and, yes, Helen Mirren (though you should check out some of her early work!)
The late Beverly Sills

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 18, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Ditto to Helen Mirren and Kate Winslet.

I would say almost anyone who's ever been on the Daily Show, especially Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carrell, and Ed Helms.

I would add Michael Caine and Emma Thompson to the list too.

Posted by: Syph | July 18, 2008 11:16 AM | Report abuse

Do they have to be alive? Because if not, I would say Audrey Hepburn. She was class incarnate.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Is it even possible to be in the public and not be snark-worthy? Everyone does/wears/says really dumb things on a reqular basis. No matter how much we might admire someone, they are bound to screw up sometime and become snark fodder.

Posted by: hr girl is philosophizing today | July 18, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

ooooh--Mark Harmon. Loved him in the West Wing.

Posted by: spartan | July 18, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

And now I am thinking of Katherine Hepburn. Why does it seem like all of our present day movie stars pale in comparison to the late greats?

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Helen Mirren
Pierce Brosnon - especially since his wife looks normal. Made me like him more
Mike Rowe
Salma Hayek
Jennifer Gardner (she's so cute and over-the-moon about being in Hollywood. Really seems genuine)
Sean Connery

Posted by: md | July 18, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Heath Ledger...

Posted by: VA Mom | July 18, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Unsnarkable:

Sidney Poitier
Paul Newman
Carol Burnett
Stevie Wonder
Laura Linney

Highly Snarkable:

Charlie Sheen
Alec Baldwin
David Hasselhoff (But Why Bother?)
Elizabeth Hasselcrap
Kayne West
Oprah
Rosie O'Donnell (Carm Down!)
Ethan Hawke
Andy Dick

Posted by: Damon | July 18, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

If we're including dead celebrities, let me offer up:

Cary Grant
Rock Hudson

Posted by: spartan | July 18, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Christian Bale.

Posted by: Kim | July 18, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

My (lamish) list:

Patrick Swayze
Michael J. Fox
Derek Jeter
Molly Ringwald

Posted by: Child of the 80's | July 18, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Morgan Freeman

Posted by: spartan | July 18, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Derek Jeter? SERIOUSLY?

Posted by: Hater | July 18, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert are just unsnarked not unsnarkable. Tina Turner? She has given the world plenty to snark about. Same with Audrey Hepburn back in the day (Angelina Jolie of a different age perhaps?). I would second Steve Carrell, Dame Judi Dench, and Helen Mirren all as unsnarkable though.

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

Derek Jeter? SERIOUSLY?

Posted by: Hater | July 18, 2008 11:24 AM

Must be a Red Sox fan. (Rolling eyes.)

Posted by: Hey someone else picked Heath Ledger! | July 18, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

I would have even mentioned Jimmy Stewart, until I read that he had a fit when Princeton (his alma mater) decided to accept women. So as much as I loved his acting, I'm nixing him from my list of unsnarkables.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Paul Newman for sure.

Reese Witherspoon unsnarkable?

If you attained your fame post 1990ish, I think you are snarkable. Although I remember watching David Hasselhoff in Knight Rider as a kid, and if that ain't snarkable, I don't know what is so I stand corrected.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Just look at the snark ops in the people already listed here today:

Helen Mirren (It counts as snark when you read the name of a 63-year-old woman and your first thought is, "My God, those are _fantastic_."))

Jamie Lee Curtis (There's her yogurt ad, the questions about whether she's really a gryphon, and the Helen Mirren remark applied to a 49-yr-old.)

Tina Turner (She's what, 100 and still touring? Also, there was Ike. Listen to the story, now.)

Morgan Freeman (Second only to Lou Gossett, Jr. in "I will act in anything"-ness.)

Irishgirl's spelling of "Duckovny" is itself an example of snark.

Reese Witherspoon (Like shooting fish in a barrel: start with her rules for Jake.)

Colbert, Stewart, Black: They *are* snark incarnate. They would expect, and I submit, welcome snark in return.

Kate Winslet (Totally hot, but I'd do her. And by "do," I mean "snark." And "do.")

Defence rests, M'lud. Offence, on the other hand, must work every day...

Posted by: byoolin says, 'No snarkred cows!" | July 18, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

i have to second, third and fourth paul newman, audrey hepburn (may i oneday grow up to be so classy) and helem mirren. and i would like to nominate mandy moore. sure, she started out as a teen starlet destined to be the future britney, but she's not and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders and can actually sing! (and now that i've sung her praises she'll be spotted running around disney with her lady parts on display for all to see)

Posted by: melissamac1 | July 18, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

why so many brits on the unsnarkable list? so many possible theories...
i second
helen mirren
meryl streep

how about?
matt damon
chris noth

Posted by: mdt | July 18, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Sean Connery

Posted by: md | July 18, 2008 11:20 AM

---------------------
I'd take Sean off the list only because he thinks it's ok to slap a woman around now and then. He's fair game for anything anyone wants to throw at him, including a little celinedion.

Posted by: jes | July 18, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

I'm only sticking to celebrities that are still alive - snarking about dead folks just seems wrong

That said, here's my list:
Paul Newman
Daniel Craig (for the time being at least)
Juliette Binoche
Jim (from the Office) - John I-can't-spell-his-last-name
Michele Pfiffer
Helen Mirren
Kate Winslet
Christian Bale

Posted by: Stuck@Work | July 18, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Zero snarking:
Paul Newman
Joanne Woodward
Michael Caine
Johnny Depp
Helen Mirren
Judi Densch
Hugh Laurie
Audrey Hepburn
Olivia DeHavilland
Lauren Bacall
Kate Winslet
Emma Thompson
Robson Green
Any male lead in a "Mystery" series
Robert Redford
Pierce Brosnan
All Daily Show associates, hangers-on, etc.
BB King
Eric Clapton
John Mellencamp
Bruce Springsteen

Minimal Snarking

Helena Bonham-Carter
Sir Paul McCartney
Clint Eastwood (there was that whole cranky thing going on)
Matt Damon
Bob Dylan

Posted by: b | July 18, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Dear That Guy,

Not to be snarky to you (for there should be peace and love to all celebritologists) but I am puzzled to what you can snark on Tina Turner about? She is an incredible musician, escaped a horrible abusive marriage to her husband, and staged a comeback as a singer without him (which he said she'd never be able to do). She also is a devout buddhist, which I think is pretty cool. AND she looks amazing for being 60+--I'd love to look like her at any age.

Posted by: sy | July 18, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Nelson Mandela

Posted by: Lisa1 | July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

The Lovely Mrs. byoolin vehemently disagrees with me. She says - INSISTS, she says - that I have never snarked on Johnny Cash.

I'd swear that she's popped as many pills as he has.

Posted by: byoolin snarked a man in Reno just to watch him cry. | July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

i looves me some sean connery, but he is eminently snarkable since he became a totally cranky sourpuss.

Posted by: b | July 18, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Sneaking in a snark -after- I've pointed it out to you does not count.

Nice try,

Posted by: TlMb | July 18, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, I do believe you could make a grown man cry with your snark.

Posted by: jes | July 18, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

No dead celebs should be on the No Snark list. We should restrict ourselves to celebs who are animate. I was going to write "alive", but I'm not sure that Keith Richards is alive....not that he'd ever be on the No Snark list.

Posted by: Saquatch with an S | July 18, 2008 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Does unsnarkable=boring?

Posted by: Hater | July 18, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

No more calls, folks. Byoolin's got another one.

"snarked a man in Reno just to watch him cry..."

How am I going to get through the Noon meeting without laughing for no apparent reason?

Posted by: Saquatch with an S | July 18, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Ooh, Juliette Binoche-good one.
Clive Owen (le sigh)
Shakira
Colin Firth

Posted by: ASinMoCo | July 18, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

One word for TIna Turner: Ike

Is it right that people are putting names up here that I have read plenty of snark about in previous comment sections? Mandy Moore? seriously? After the whole Zach Braff thing?

By the by Derek Jeter historically is the most snarkable Yankee. By being a good short stop and being the player most folks associate with the team he becomes the butt of a lot of snarking. Mind you A-Rod is doing his best to usurp that postion right now.

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

that being said, even the most respectable, amiable and all around nice celebrities can find themselves at the wrong end of the snark machine.

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

I don't know about Bob Dylan. I saw him in that PBS special about him, and while he is certainly interesting and talented, he can be be an arrogant SOB. Which is part of his charm, I guess. But I would hate to have the bad luck of falling in love with him.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

You can't call 'em unsnarkable if they have public views on politics, if they've had run-ins with The Law, if they've ever showed up on a red carpet wearing something "fashion forward", or if they've had publicly-exploded personal relationships.

Where's your fancy list now, huh?? Johnny Depp? Don't you remember his comparing the U.S. to an angry puppy a few years ago? That goes in the Snark Hall of Fame! Chris Noth is widely known for hanging around NY bars, getting sloshed and groping on the tourists. Bob Dylan, well, now you're making it too easy.

Posted by: WDC | July 18, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

I believe that, for now, Dame Helen is extremely snarkable. Just because she's, um, middleaged doesn't make her immune from well-constructed snark.

Sean Connery has earned his unsnakability; as, among others, has Bruce, Michael J Fox, James Earl Jones, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Morgan Freeman, Johnny Depp, Sissy Spacek, Jodie Foster.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 18, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

There's a saying that history is written by the survivors.

So just because certain celebs are old now and have had the opportunity to burnish their legends doesn't mean that there aren't some real snark-worthy skeletons in their closets.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 18, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Tom Hanks is a cutie, and I can't think of anything to snark about him. Also, Ron Howard.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Johnny Depp? Whino/Winona Forever? Come on now. It is too easy.

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

WDC,
I'm so sad about Chris Noth. I have liked him since his original stint on Law and Order many years ago. I guess I must have ignored the snark worthy reports just to keep my hollywood(new york, really) boyfriend alive.

Posted by: mdt | July 18, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

It seems like the un-snarkable should be those celebrities who actively work to keep their private lives OUT of the spotlight.

Edward Norton
Paul Newman

Posted by: another Liz | July 18, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Hmm...very, very few un-snarkable celebs. I love the Daily Show/Colbert Report folks, but they're completely snarkable in my book. Difficult! But snarkable.
I'd say...

Audrey Hepburn
Jimmy Stewart
Paul Newman
Henry Fonda
Robert Redford
Judi Dench

but that may be because I know very little about them.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 18, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Ooo, Tom Hanks and Ed Norton! Good catches.

On the other side of the coin, I love George Clooney to bits, but I also find him very snarkable. The man is just a font of raw material.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 18, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Why can't we snark on Kate Winslet? She is keeping her private life fairly private these days but ever since I made the unfortunate mistake of watching her in the movie version of Jude the Obscure I have wanted to snark on her.

Posted by: new england | July 18, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Read the NYTimes review of Mamma Mia and tell me you can't snark on Meryl Streep. Plus wasn't she in "Death Becomes Her"?
Puh-leeze.
She's made some very suspect choices in her career. The River Wild? The only reason to be in that movie was so that there would be no degrees of separation between she and Kevin Bacon.

Posted by: methinks | July 18, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

C'mon, Ron Howard is eminently snarkable. First there's that preposterous baseball cap he wears everywhere (Give it up, Opie, everyone knows you're bald). Then there are some of his, how you say, craptastic movies (Far and Away, anyone?).

Posted by: Potsie | July 18, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Meryl Streep is too snarkable. She's on my "Just gets on my darn nerves for some reason" list.

Helen Mirren, not snarkable
Daniel Craig, not snarkable
Dame Judi Dench, not snarkable
Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman, not snarkable

Courtney Cox would be if she ever showed up in any item
Michael J. Fox is snarkable, did you miss the comments questioning whether he really did deliberatly not take his meds before testifying before Congress?


the Bar Exam -- SNARK, SNARK, SNARKerrific.

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

mdt, I know, it's sad. But to preserve the integrity of the snark, we cannot afford to let any offense, no matter how human, go unmocked. I've got a few I'd love to elevate to nonsnarkitude, but every one of them has been caught with a hooker, or expressed tolerance of Scientology, or something.

Posted by: WDC | July 18, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Michael J. Fox is snarkable, did you miss the comments questioning whether he really did deliberatly not take his meds before testifying before Congress?

Getting snarked by Rush Limbaugh is the highest honor Fox could ever hope to receive. So it doesn't count as REAL snark.

Posted by: Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot | July 18, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

WDC, any and all Scientologists, but most especially the celeb ones, are eminently snarkable.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

Have to agree with Ed Norton, he was great in "The Honeymooners."

Posted by: Jackie | July 18, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

No snarking aloud for Linsey and Dina!

You guys can sknark all you want on Hilary Duff who stole linsey's boyfriend. And also Paris Hilton and Baron Davis who said those mean things about linsey!

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 18, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Oh, yes, I forgot:

Queen Liz and her Band o' Merry Lizards

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 18, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

For Johnny Depp and for Tina too - both are commonly snarked on for their outfits. People can be totally talented and still be snarkable.

I think from the lists above one theme is that you get less snarkable with age especially if you age well and gracefully. If you're full of botox and plastic surgery (i'm looking at you Meg Ryan) causes once lovable stars to be now totally snarkable.

So some of my list includes:
*Harrison Ford - not given very much snark for dating Calista
*Colin Firth - just classy
*Kate Blanchette - talented and age appropriate
*Julie Andrews - She's still got it!

Posted by: sjcpeach | July 18, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

If you're full of botox and plastic surgery (i'm looking at you Meg Ryan) causes once lovable stars to be now totally snarkable.

So some of my list includes:
*Julie Andrews - She's still got it!

Part of what she's still got is repeated plastic surgery and a load of botox.

Posted by: Be consistent | July 18, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

I have to differ on Ron Howard. The fact that he wears that baseball cap to cover his baldness is just humanizing. He's cute, he's nice, he amazingly talented and still down to earth. Not fair to snark at his baseball cap. It's such a small thing.

Plus, almost every actor around has been in a lemon of some kind. Even Helen Mirren I bet.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Edward Norton waived his unsnarkability when he dated Courtney Love.

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 18, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Come on people, the only legit name that has been come up with here is Nelson Mandela. And of course that's asking for byoolin to turn up with a Mandela snark. All other celebs are to be snarked on as the sitution warrants. I would include those in the original post as well.

Posted by: bluemeanies | July 18, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Ne snark pas. I like that.

-Paul Newman cannot be cited enough times
-Joanne Woodward
-Anne Bancroft
-Clive Owen
-Richard Pryor
-Viggo Mortenson, Sean Astin (their turns in LOTR give them immunity)
-Hugh Jackman
-Frances McDormand (what a dame)
-Gene Kelly
-Sidney Poitier
-Bette Davis
-Gene Hackman
-Vanessa Redgrave
-Christopher Walken (because he doesn't take himself too seriously and I will always heart him for that SNL character he did)
-Teri Garr
-Michael J. Fox
-Kevin Smith
-Laura Dern
-Kathy Bates
-Michael C. Hall

Posted by: NW DC | July 18, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

bluemeanies, normally I would agree about Nelson Mandela, but while watching an episode of the Chappelle Show recently, I was reminded that even Nelson Mandela is not immune. Does anyone remember Mandela's Boot Camp?

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 18, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

Well, if we are talking Nelson Mandela types, we can also include Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul II, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King Jr., and heck, I would even through in Che Guevara.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

Winnie Mandela turned out to be no prize-winner (Nobel or otherwise). Thank goodness Nelson kicked her to the curb and took up with the sainted Graça Machel.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Definitely NOT Mother Teresa.

Posted by: Christopher Hitchens | July 18, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Getting snarked by Rush Limbaugh is the highest honor ANYONE could ever hope to receive.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

With all the inclusions from our grandparents' generation of stars, I must ask, in the spirit of Homer Simpson, "If they're so great, how come they're dead?"

Posted by: WDC | July 18, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

the Bar Exam -- SNARK, SNARK, SNARKerrific.

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 11:52 AM


Oh, ep, you just sent a chill down my spine.

Chin up! You will survive.

Posted by: new england | July 18, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

why rn't more poeple picking linsey and dina as no-snark people? linsey's an excxlnt actrss and dina's a grate mom!

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 18, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Emma Thompson unsnarkable? Wasn't she still married to Kenneth Branagh when she took up with Greg Wise?

Edward Norton might be local, but he is snarkable. He was in town a few years ago (back when he was still dating Salma Hayek). Apparently she was great with the crowds of fans, but he was a complete snob.

And, if I might go off topic for a moment...a big shout out to the Celebritology crowd for their discussion of Hákarl (putrified shark) while I was on vacation. Glad to know that you were all keeping the Icelandic faith in my absence.

Posted by: B'More Cat and Snark Lover | July 18, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

I know. Lassie.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Seriously though. Helen Hunt.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

John Cusak

Posted by: jcm | July 18, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Emma Thompson unsnarkable? Wasn't she still married to Kenneth Branagh when she took up with Greg Wise?

It was Kenneth Branagh who took up with Helena Bonham Carter while still married to the divine Emma.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

I have a hard time not coming up with a list of hottie hollywood hunks, but I tried to be diverse:

Michelle Pfeiffer
Natalie Portman
Kate Winslet

Kevin Smith
Matt Damon (yum)
Christian Bale (yummier)

Posted by: flutterbyjen | July 18, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

ooo, I should have refreshed before I posted. I second John Cusack and Helen Hunt.

Posted by: flutterbyjen | July 18, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

From Law & Order:
Sam Waterston
Jerry Orbach
Washington's own talented S. Epatha Merkerson
Steven Hill (acting classmate of Paul Newman's, gave up potential stardom for a simpler acting career in order to follow his religious and family beliefs)

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

Anon at 12:32 beat me to it. If you look at IMDb, Kenneth Branagh dated Helena Bonham Carter from 1994-1999, but was not divorced from Emma Thompson until 1995. I believe it coincided with his "Frankenstein."

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Newscaster Gordon Peterson

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

NW DC, Kevin Smith?

Is that the dead one that played Ares on Hercules or the one that gave us the great conglom of "Bennifer" in the so-so movie "Jersey Girl?"

Cause both of them are highly snarkable. Just read Smith-the-director's blog if you dare. Not only will you get daily updates of his sex life (or lack thereof) you might even get a good description of his latest bowel movement.

Posted by: Bored @ work | July 18, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Helen Hunt was in a made for tv movie about Pam Smart, the school teacher from small town New Hampshire who had an affair with a 15 year old student. Smart is serving life in prison, having been convicted of masterminding a scheme in which the boy and his friends killed her husband.

That was a really snarkable role, also if you have seen any photos of her lately you might wish to snark.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Colin Firth!
I also agree with Helen Mirren and Matt Damon.

What about Chris O'Donnell? Diane Lane?

Posted by: JL | July 18, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Helen Hunt was in a made for tv movie about Pam Smart, the school teacher from small town New Hampshire who had an affair with a 15 year old student. Smart is serving life in prison, having been convicted of masterminding a scheme in which the boy and his friends killed her husband.

That was a really snarkable role, also if you have seen any photos of her lately you might wish to snark.

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 12:41 PM

By that standard Mark Harmon could get snarked for having played Ted Bundy. Are you saying that accomplished actors should only play heroes? That was John Wayne's approach, really one-dimensional.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Agree with Stuck and Sas on excluding dead celebs. Also do not think political figures (e.g., Mandela) belong on a celeb list. Guess Booby Kennedy would be excluded on both counts.

Posted by: Red Dragon | July 18, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Alan Alda.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Nicole Kidman played Pam Smart in To Die For, and she was great. My comment about Hunt's role in the tv movie wasn't based on the character. It was a lousy movie, and a lousy performance.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Bored @ work - 12:41pm

You're right about Kevin Smith. He definitely overshares - I've followed his blog for quite a while, but you really don't hear about him in the gossip columns. He just lives his life and does (mostly) good work, and to me, that makes him seem unsnarkable.

Posted by: flutterbyjen | July 18, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Hugh Jackman! Totally corr-
::remembers Viva Laughlin::
And I spoke too soon.

"Edward Norton waived his unsnarkability when he dated Courtney Love.
Posted by: jake e. poo"
Blast, you're right.

How bout Denzel Washington?

Posted by: Bawlmer loves the musical talent. | July 18, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Re MJF: He has every right not to take his meds in this case. He was pointing out that he has to rely on the meds for a normal life. I'm sure these meds are accompanied by a slew of side affects. The point is that he wanted to bring awareness to the fact that there may be an option for a CURE, not just treatment, in funding stem cell research.

I also agree that putting long deceased celebs on this list is pointless. We don't have the same type of access to their living behavior. There is no need to snark the dead...unless a sex tape re-emerges posthumously.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | July 18, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

unless a sex tape re-emerges posthumously.

One can but hope.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Liberace
Tom Jones
Christopher Guest and all his pals
Roger Federer
Tiger Woods
Kate, Cate, Emma and other absolutely fabulous, normal actresses like them.

Posted by: possum | July 18, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

Oh yea and Peter O'Toole. Any guy that carries around a flask of vodka is OK with me.

Posted by: possum | July 18, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

I can't think of a single celebrity - dead or alive - that I would not snark on given the right circumstances. No famous person is immune. I love some Johnny Depp, but his fashion choices - highly snarkable. As I said in the morning mix, I heart Drew Barrymore - I will still snark on her when her love life, professional choices, etc warrant comment. Jodie Foster, Meryl Streep, Jamie Lee Curtis, etc are, IMHO, exemplars of Hollywood class - still snarkable given the right scenarios.

The only, only celeb that I can think of who may merit a nonsnarkable rateing would be Betty White. I have heard it said that even her peers will not say a bad word about her, but if she shows up to an award show in a hefty bag, I would probably have something to say about that.

hang in there ep. Just be sure to read the questions very, very carefully and you will be just fine.

Posted by: sunnydaze | July 18, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Jimmy Stewart is unsnarkable. Already a Hollywood star in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", he entered the army during World War II but rather than appear in films or go on war bond drives, he became a bomber pilot for the Army Air Corp and flew a full tour of missions in the European theater.

Posted by: first posting ever | July 18, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

I didn't know Jolie was the most admired celeb of 2007. Wow. SO don't agree. Admired for what exactly? A ginormous carbon footprint?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

"Irishgirl's spelling of "Duckovny" is itself an example of snark"

Hey! Just because I can't spell his name doesn't mean he isn't great and unsnarkable in my eyes.

Trust no one, especially byoolin. :)

Posted by: irishgirl | July 18, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Jodie Foster

Tom Hanks

Posted by: jEN8 | July 18, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

my two cents, you can't snark on:

Mark Ruffalo

Julianne Moore

Catherine Keener

Posted by: Smitty | July 18, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

Okay, has anyone reviewed the recommendations and critiques to come up with a pared-down list? My impression is that the pared-down list consists of Mike Rowe, Paul Newman, and three players to be named later.

Posted by: Saquatch with an S | July 18, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe

Posted by: who the hell is........ | July 18, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Robert DeNiro

Posted by: CJB | July 18, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

sunnydaze, I totally agree about Betty White. Her guest spot in Ugly Betty was hilarious - she was poking fun at that image and just made me love her so much.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller wishes Rose was her gramma. | July 18, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Are the three players to be named later the philosopher Billy Bob Thornton, Goodwill Ambassador to Australia Pamela Anderson, and anyone from the Kennedy Center Honorees list?

Posted by: Red Dragon | July 18, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Matt Damon snarked himself in that video with Sarah Silverman (it was hilarious...)

Posted by: CJB | July 18, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe

Posted by: who the hell is........ | July 18, 2008 1:28 PM

------------------------------------------

Newbie. Heard of google? Use it.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe

Posted by: who the hell is........ | July 18, 2008 1:28 PM

******************************************

For SMAME!!!!!

Posted by: Chief Dorkus | July 18, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

Tom Hanks?

Meryl Streep?

Robert Redford?

Alan Alda? (blech. one of the most pretentious men of modest (at best) talents in the history of the universe)

Rock Hudson???? (People have really short memories apparantly of the jokes. Sure some were totally offensive and inappropriate, but there were some really offensive, funny inappropriate ones, too.)

All eminently snarkable.

The list is short: Paul Newman. All the rest of humanity, living and dead, are subject to snark.

Posted by: MN | July 18, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

Newbie. Heard of google? Use it.

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 1:34 PM

****

OR

just read the post from Wednesday.

Posted by: sunnydaze | July 18, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

What's the point of talking about snark if people on the blog can't get the snark.

"Newbie. Heard of google? Use it."

The point was that I don't know who he is and don't care because he is not famous enough to even be on the no snark list.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe

Posted by: who the hell is........ | July 18, 2008 1:28 PM

Look in the upper lefthand corner of this page under Archives for hyperlink to Dirty Job: Catching Up With Mike Rowe.

Then (click) it.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Newbie. Heard of google? Use it.

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 1:34 PM

Isn't Rule 1 of this blog to snark at celebrities, not each other? or so the regulars insist.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

The point was that I don't know who he is and don't care because he is not famous enough to even be on the no snark list.

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 1:37 PM

uhhh. the point is that he's pretty famous, bub. Do your homework.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

oh they snark and are downright mean sometimes to new people on the blog.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

wow, doesn't take much for someone to get you people all riled up here....

Posted by: cat | July 18, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

I think Jodie Foster lost her unsnarkability when she broke up with her partner of 14 years, four months after her first public acknowledgment of the relationship, to pursue a younger woman.

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

"uhhh. the point is that he's pretty famous, bub. Do your homework"

This is so stupid. You say he is famous and I don't know who he is, so he must not be that famous.

I have the internet, I have TV, I read newspapers, etc.

Posted by: No thanks | July 18, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Just a heads up, it's gotten really scary over on the Morning Mix post. Enter at your own risk.

Then again, the last few posts here seem to be rather nasty too. CI tiki bar time?

Posted by: hr girl will buy the first round if everyone agrees to play nice | July 18, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

can we move ON from Mike Rowe?
geez!

Posted by: enought already! | July 18, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Isn't Rule 1 of this blog to snark at celebrities, not each other? or so the regulars insist.

Stupidity is always snarkable.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Cate Blanchett. I'm glad to see her mentioned.

Sorry, Jodie Foster seems pretty cool, but her SO is named Cydney, or something equally ridiculous.

I love Matt Damon. I couldn't find him less physically attractive, but the dude's solid.

Speaking of the Dude, is Jeff Bridges snarkable? Julianne Moore?

Speaking of Ms. Moore, how about some McNulty himself, Dominic West? Purrrr.

Posted by: atb | July 18, 2008 1:44 PM | Report abuse

"wow, doesn't take much for someone to get you people all riled up here...."


Yeah, Mike what's his name must be the KING of the no snark list. Wait, if one person snarks him is he immediately disqualified?

Posted by: hehe | July 18, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Just a heads up, it's gotten really scary over on the Morning Mix post. Enter at your own risk.

That's because there's an invader from OP. What saith our Lizard Commander?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

MN - I beg to differ on Alan Alda - I met him in college. His wife was receiving some kind of Rhodes award, so he was there to support her, but of course generated quite a bit of a crowd on our tiny campus. Our college president noticed that we were waiting around for him to come out of the building, so she introduced us. He was quiet and self-effacing, shook our hands, smiled shyly at us, and even asked me what my major was.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

"uhhh. the point is that he's pretty famous, bub. Do your homework."

My dog ate my homework.

Posted by: bub | July 18, 2008 1:50 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone noticed that the unsnarkable lists contain mostly British actors?

Posted by: I Wonder | July 18, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

I don't want to use my regular handle bc I dont wall my fellow Celeb. Island neighbors to hate me, but even I'm getting sick of the Mike Rowe fawning. Can we limit extolling on him to once a week? Thanks!

Posted by: anonymous regular commentator | July 18, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe is the reason that we have this wonderful Friday list. If you are curious why then go to Liz's chat from yesterday and see her previous blog post. The Show is called Dirty Jobs and the Channel is Discovery. That being said I have a few more suggestions to throw out:

Ben Stiller
Bob Sagat
George Carlin

So they are all comics. so what?

I second the nomination of Tiger Woods. How can you snark a guy like that?

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Carm down, haters.

Didn't know P. Newman was British. Don't think he knows it either.

Posted by: Red Dragon | July 18, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone noticed that the unsnarkable lists contain mostly British actors?

Posted by: I Wonder | July 18, 2008 1:52 PM

Probably because we don't know as much about their snarkable moments.

Must disagree with whoever listed Vanessa Redgrave, however.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

While we're on the subject of things that annoy us here, let me add:
Discussing what's going on the OP blog--first of all, who cares what they think/say, and second, if you do then go over there and post away.

Posted by: another regular poster | July 18, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Contrast the unsnarkable British actor list with the eminently snarkable Brits Amy Winehouse, Jude Law, Sienna Skanque-Miller, Hugh Grant and his ex girlfriend what's her name (having a senior moment: her baby's godfather was Elton John, she wore a safety pin dress).

Posted by: new england | July 18, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Bob Sagat

Have you heard some of his foul-mouthed work lately?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Liz Hurley?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin writes:

"The Lovely Mrs. byoolin vehemently disagrees with me. She says - INSISTS, she says - that I have never snarked on Johnny Cash."

Indeed, how could anyone snark on this?

http://www.punksinscience.org/jeffrey/pics/johnny%20cash%20finger.jpg

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Is it truly snark if it's something the target would embrace. For example, most above seem to agree that the Daily Show and Colbert Report gangs would get a kick out of most snark thrown their direction.

With Saget, I find his rougher comedy to be much less snarkable than his stints on Full House or America's Best Home Videos.

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

can we move ON from Mike Rowe?
geez!

Posted by: enought already! | July 18, 2008 1:43 PM


Better idea: how 'bout the idiot newbies who can't be bothered to follow the bold-faced, highlighted threads on this blog go find some other blog to replace their dear departed On Balance.

Either that, or we give them ponies on which to ride away.


(I know I'm off topic, but, man, they're really ruining it for the rest of us -- I'd stopped reading the comments when I realized that with all the ex-Balancers, this was becoming a Celebrity Gene Pool, where about 1/3 of the commenters just don't get it and you had to learn to skim them for substance. But came back to read the Friday List comments because I thought they'd be better. Boy, was I wrong. Yeah, a few insightful gems, but the amount of manure you've got to dig through to get to them is truly disheartening. I'm really happy that you're getting all the additional eyeballs, Lizzie, but geez.)

Posted by: out of here... | July 18, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Except that Saget is no George Carlin.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Here are some british folks who we SHOULD snark on:

elton john
hugh grant
the spice girls
paul mccartney's ex-wife (cant remember her name, the one with the fake leg)
kate moss
amy winehouse
tony blair (bush's poodle)

Posted by: Xenda | July 18, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Anyone connected with the series or forthcoming reunion movie (just kidding!) of Full House is eminently snarkable.

Posted by: Red Dragagain | July 18, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

But certainly Carlin is snarkable for narrating episodes of "Thomas the Tank Engine." Sure, I get a kick out of hearing him do different voices for the engines, but come on!

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

You can snark on someone for not being famous enough for you to have heard of the person -- except on this blog about Mike Rowe. It's called know your audience. here Mike Rowe is just about a god. Especially after the no pleats comment.

Same with Colin Firth most of us swoon over him, that makes him unsnarkable HERE.

For both Colin firth and Mike rowe, other places might be appropriate to snark about them.

Bob Sagat, just for Full House and America's funniest Home Videos he is totally snarkable.

Ben Stiller for his movies alone is snarkable.

George Carlin -- is iffy whether he is snarkable. he just said so many things that just made you think.


Can I second the request we stop with the OP stuff. 1) this is the Celebritology blog, you want to talk OP go over there and 2) if you go over there, it brings them over here to do nasty stuff to our blog. I am still having nightmares about Emily.

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Emily - did you perchance go to Kenyon College? If so, then you know Alan Alda's daughter, Elizabeth. What an obnoxious person she was! Alan Alda is eminently snarkable because of his offspring.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

The point was that I don't know who he is and don't care because he is not famous enough to even be on the no snark list.

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 1:37 PM


Mike Rowe is the INSPIRATION for the no-snark list! Did you read today's main post?? It goes Mike Rowe, universally admired, blah blah, "who ELSE is unsnarkable".

Posted by: WDC | July 18, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin's link re J Cash was the Man in Black doing his best Nelson Rockefeller imitation. This raises the rule question of if a person is a celeb BEFORE they enter politics, like future-Pres Schwarzenegger, are they still a celeb? What about people who are celebs because of a political connection like Sweet Caroline Kennedy No Longer Using Scholssberg? How about Kali-FOH-nia's First Lady Maria Shriver, who was a celeb journalist, but became that because she was smart, pretty and Booby Kennedy's neice?

Posted by: Breaktherule | July 18, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Alan Alda came to a local middle school theatre production which a friend's daughter performed in about two years ago. Turns out, his grandson was also performing in the play. The grandson had kept his grandpa's identity pretty quiet, and it caused a huge buzz when Alda showed up at the Winchester, Mass middle school for the play. He was very gracious about all the attention he received.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 2:19 PM | Report abuse

out of here... you are an a$$.

Most of the questions and snark about Mike Rowe were just that. Snark. I didn't know this was a private party, and frankly, some of you are ruder than the OB people ever were.

Posted by: don't let the pony kick you in the head on the way out. | July 18, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse


Latest draft of the pared-down No Snark listing of living celebrities:

Mike Rowe
Paul Newman
Cate Blanchett
Diana Rigg
Robert Redford
Meryl Streep
Tom Hanks
Robert Deniro
Matt Damon
Helen Hunt
Mark Ruffalo
Julianne Moore
Catherine Keener
Liberace
Tom Jones
Christopher Guest and all his pals
Christopher Walken
Roger Federer
Tiger Woods
Denzel Washington
Judi Dench

Additions? Deletions? Corrections?
Apologies to those whose nomination I may not have caught.

Also, we need a semi-consensus on whether a celebrity's snarkability is related to their professional behavior (e.g., acting in a STINKER of a show), personal behavior (e.g., Getting busted for soliciting a transvestite hooker) or a mixture of both.

Folks, I ain't trying to drive this bus so much as be the facilitator/scribe.

Posted by: Sasquatch updates the pared-down list | July 18, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

This raises the rule question of if a person is a celeb BEFORE they enter politics, like future-Pres Schwarzenegger, are they still a celeb? What about people who are celebs because of a political connection like Sweet Caroline Kennedy No Longer Using Scholssberg? How about Kali-FOH-nia's First Lady Maria Shriver, who was a celeb journalist, but became that because she was smart, pretty and Booby Kennedy's neice?

Posted by: Breaktherule | July 18, 2008 2:17 PM

You mean our Governator and his Skele-Boobs wife? More snarkable than ever!

Posted by: Native Californian | July 18, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Sas,
Liberace has gone to the great candelabra in the sky. Still a great showwhatever.

Posted by: Red Friday PM Dragson | July 18, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Wladziu Valentino Liberace
May 16, 1919-February 4, 1987

Posted by: RIP Liberace | July 18, 2008 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Sadly, Liberace is dead.
Please add Helen Mirren...I think at the beginning we all agreed on her.

Posted by: to sas | July 18, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch, on Liberace: No. Just no. I refuse to give up snarking rights on a guy who singlehandedly redefined the word "flaming".

Posted by: WDC | July 18, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Breatherule raises some intersting questions: What makes a celebrity a celebrity? Does a celebrity ever cease to be a celebrity?

Coupled with Byoolin's question of whether snarkability can ever be separated from identification as a celebrity, these issues bring us to the core of celebritology epistemology.

What defines the "celebrity" attribute?
Once a person acquires the "celebrity" attribute, can that attribute ever be taken away?
Is "snarkability" an integral aspect of the "celebrity" attribute?

Posted by: Philospher Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for getting back on topic, Sas. I think it should be a combination factor for determining snarkability.

And I do have the add that the Meryl Streep picture on top is an atrocious picture of her. I think that counts as snark...

Posted by: hr girl means no offense to Ms. Streep | July 18, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the Liberace removal. A great example of why I asked for a review of my cutting and pasting.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

WDC,

Liberace>Porter Wagoner>Joan Rivers.

Wait. This isn't helping, is it?

Posted by: R Dragon | July 18, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Nope, I didn't go to Kenyon college, but I'll take your word for it that Alda's daughter was not so nice. Even so, he still makes my heart thump faster when I remember his loverly words to me, ..."and what's your major?" Swoon.

I think snarkability is related to both professional behavior and personal behavior, but that other peoples' behaviour over which they have no control should not count. So for me, Alda remains unsnarkable.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Okay, we have a motion to add Helen Mirren and delete Meryl Streep.

Comments? Questions? Snarks? ;-)

BTW, that is an ICONIC picture of Johhny Cash giving the finger.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:33 PM | Report abuse

ep, are you from the Western PA area by any chance?

Posted by: hr girl | July 18, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

"
WDC,

Liberace>Porter Wagoner>Joan Rivers.

Wait. This isn't helping, is it?"

SPIT TAKE!!!

Posted by: Sasquatch just misses the keyboard | July 18, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

1 vote for Helen M.
1 vote to keep Meryl

Posted by: mdt | July 18, 2008 2:36 PM | Report abuse

My (lamish) list:

Patrick Swayze
Michael J. Fox
Derek Jeter
Molly Ringwald

Posted by: Child of the 80's | July 18, 2008 11:23 AM

While I'm a HUGE Derek Jeter fan (my dog's name is Jeter), he would definitely NOT be on my no-snark list. Mariah, Jessica A, Jessica B, Aishwara Rai (sp?), he's a NYC playboy and therefore immediately snarkable.

As for un-snarkable:
Def. agree w/Michael J. Fox
Dame Maggie Smith
Adam Sandler (probably on my own personal list because I embrace his yankee fan-ness)
Mel Brooks


Posted by: Em | July 18, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Tom Jones?

He is so snarkable. I remember snarking at him back in the old days, when my mother use to like him. She was such a child of the 60s and 70s. His open shirt, hairy chest, and sweaty face were nauseating to me. So snark on him. Yuck.
Why is he so unsnarkable?

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

I have some suggested deletions.
First: Helen Hunt. Why is she on there? I know she has an Oscar, but she's been kind of lousy since then. "What Women Want," anyone?
De Niro: An icon, I know: But "Analyze that!" Not the first one, the sequel.
Damon: Good Will Hunting.
Tom Jones: Vegas, baby, Vegas!

But seriously, I don't think any celebrity is completely unsnarkable. Just certain aspects of them are. Snark has to be funny to work. For example -- we can make fun of Barry Manilow for being skinny for now, but we'd better send up a positive vibe to the Swayze.

Posted by: other liz | July 18, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

Unsnarkable: Tim Gunn

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 18, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

No, most recently Texas relocated to DC for law school.

Why do you ask Hr girl? Do you have a job for me (I need one).

Please get Meryl Streep off the list. I posted near the beginning that I snark on her all the time. She just gets on my nerves. Mostly a good actress, but good god, just something about her grates.

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

I think at this point we all have to carm down and have a drink. It does not look like we can find anyone but Mike Rowe and possibly Colin Firth who is not snarkable. Which way to the Tiki bar?

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

I agree that Maggie Smith should be added to the list. Remember her in the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie? She was and still is fab.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, but I'm an a$$ who's walking away from the playground you're ruining, whereas you're an a$$ who's just arriving to mess things up a little more.

And for the record, it's not a closed party, douchenozzle. But, if you're gonna' come in, there are a few (very simple) rules. Only one, actually -- in a cosmic nod to reese's "keep your feet off the furniture" rule, all I think anyone, myself included, is asking is that you respect the place: read the actual post that you're commenting on, click on the links that are included, and basically, don't be a clueless idiot, especially not a loudmouth one with an uninformed opinion. And -- bonus -- then you won't be treated like a complete doofus for dropping clueless, stupid comments in the middle of the thread that emphasize to anyone reading them that you probably don't belong here. It's kind of like remembering not to be the one who loudly asks for a bacon cheeseburger at your niece's bat mitzvah.

And the fact that you don't get the pony reference only serves to further emphasize my point.

Posted by: out of here (really this time).... | July 18, 2008 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Lizard pals - I'm off to spend a week in the woods. I'm trusting you guys to keep the keg tapped and the volume up while I'm gone.....

Posted by: Groovis | July 18, 2008 2:44 PM | Report abuse

I agree that Maggie Smith should be added to the list. Remember her in the Prime of Miss Jean Brodie? She was and still is fab.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:40 PM

Great Emily's think alike, I guess.

And ep. If HR girl can't find you a job, I can...hooray for headhunters with a legal slant!

Posted by: Em | July 18, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

Colin Firth -- added
Maggie Smith -- added
Mel Brooks -- added
Tim Gunn -- nominated. Dumb question: does he have sufficient visibility? Looking at his biography, he certainly has bona fides.

Meryl Streep -- teetering on the edge of removal. Does anyone second ep? I'm inclined to drop her if it helps ep to pass the bar exam.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

I can't believe no one has mentioned Gregory Peck?? I mean, he was a fine actor and a fine person, and interesting and vital until the end.

Posted by: zeureka | July 18, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Is America Ferrera unsnarkable?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Out of Here is the rules enforcer, I see. Kind of like the blog's bouncer.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Well, I actually asked for a very silly reason. You used the word "just" about 4 times in an earlier post. I am from Western PA, and several of my friends and I have been trying to break ourselves of the habit of overusing that word. It's very difficult and I thought you might be one of us.

On the job question, I work for a defense contractor, but I have several friends who are legal recruiters in the DC area. I would be happy to pass along a resume.

Posted by: hr girl | July 18, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Liberace and Tom Jones are unsnarkable because they lived the life, baby, with no shame, their heads held high. Toupees, cosmetic surgery, loud clothes....didn't matter. Those guys got class! They epitomize the proud Lizard lifestyle
I'd also nominate Dean Martin, Phyllis Diller and Sammy Davis, Jr....groovy!

Posted by: possum | July 18, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Tom Jones -- deleted
Michael J. Fox -- added
Patrick Swayze -- nominated
Adam Sandler -- nominated, but if Meryl Streep gets cut, Adam Sandler gets dropped faster than Bobby Bonilla dropped fly balls hit his way
Helen Hunt -- teetering
Matt Damon -- teetering
Robert Deniro -- teetering
Derek Jeter -- still sucks

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

hey, i LOVE meryl streep. she's totally non-snark worthy. keep her ON the list.

Posted by: Xenda | July 18, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Any celebrity couples where you can snark on one but not so much the other? I think Kyra Sedgwick qualifies for the no-snark list, but Kevin Bacon is snarkable.

Posted by: m.a.t. | July 18, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

And talk about Lizard lifestyles to emulate. How 'bout Hunter S. Thompson?

Posted by: possum | July 18, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

My secret goal in life is to become the next Tom Jones, so in my book he is unsnarkable.

I like to snark on Meryl Streep, even though I will be going to see Mamma Mia this weekend.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 18, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

I get the impression that we may not be able to come to a consensus on anyone, though I have yet to see anyone snark on the Paul Newman nomination.

I trust that a Newman snark will be coming shortly. Perhaps from Newman's Own?

Posted by: Sasquath the cat herder | July 18, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

I think it would be hard to snark on Bruce Campbell, only because he's in on the joke.

As far as what qualifies for snarkitude, I have a hard time snarking someone who makes a really bad movie IF they own up to it. I thinking along the lines of Halle Berry in Catwoman. It was horrible, but she showed up at the Razzies to get her awards, that takes class. Of course the exception would be something like Eddie Murphy in Pluto Nash.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 18, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

Gregory Peck has gone the way of the Atticus Finch's mockingbird, yes?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 2:57 PM | Report abuse

I second Adam Sandler as unsnarkable. For some reason, he just makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

I also think Meryl Streep is too perfect. Great actress -- yup. Attractive and approprate for her age -- yup. But there is something in her that just makes me uncomfortable. A certain je ne sais quoi kind of like a veiled haughtiness, if you will.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 2:58 PM | Report abuse

Sir Ian McKellan
Madeleine Kahn (Yes, dead, I know. But I love her.)

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

I second Bruce Campbell!

Posted by: JL | July 18, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Second Madelieine Kahn (I am so tired of being admired).

Add Lilly Tomlin.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Morgan Freeman (Second only to Lou Gossett, Jr. in "I will act in anything"-ness.)

Posted by: byoolin says, 'No snarkred cows!" | July 18, 2008 11:27 AM

Byoo, I posit that by "Morgan Freeman," you actually meant "Samuel L. Jackson," who no longer bothers to read scripts anymore. Although I see where you're coming from.

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

How is Matt Damon snarkable?

I love Meryl Streep. She should stay.

Isn't Swayze above snark just for giving us "nobody puts Baby in the corner"?

Posted by: atb | July 18, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

Meryl Streep must come off the list. THE DINGO ATE HER BABY! Seriously, am I the only one who thinks about dingos every time I look at her?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and Tim Gunn is a gem. I have a good GF who has that same guilelessness, and it's so nice to be around.

Posted by: atb | July 18, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

All celebrities should be snark-worthy when it calls for it. Some celebrities more so than others. Reality show people should be snark-worthy at all times...just because.

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 18, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

Ian McKellan is a worthy addition. However, if bad movie roles merit snarking, I have one word for you: Magneto.

Morgan Freeman -- added
Lily Tomlin -- nominated
Matt Damon -- up for comments
Bruce Campbell -- nominated

Michael Chiklis -- comments?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

you know, I had to think quite a bit before coming up with Tim Gunn because I can snark on anyone, given the opportunity. And season two of "Guide to Style" might provide me that opportunity.

As for Morgan Freeman, he'll always be "Easy Reader" from the Electric Company to me. Just like Lawrence Fishburne will always be "Cowboy Curtis" from PeeWee's Playhouse. That's not a snark as much as a gentle, but amusing trip down memory lane. Memory lane is getting longer and longer for me. It's practically a boulevard now.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 18, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Adam Sandler is snarkable for the same reason Ben Stiller is snarkable. I think thye are even the same person.

Tom Jones snarkable. You gotta be able to snark about a guy women throw their panties at.

Bruce Campbell -- tough call. Like was said, he is on the joke. He qualifies with the Colbert Report and the Daily Show folks.

HR Girl, thanks for pointing that out. I do try not to overuse words too much. It is bad writing. But, sometimes I slip.

Bar related so I can justify this - is snark protected free speech?

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

The more I think about celebrities and snark, the more I am inclined to agree with the notion that snarkability is integral to the celebrity attribute.

However, a celebrity can to some degree immunize themselves from snark if the celebrity does not take him/herself seriously and does not become a legal, medical or moral train wreck. Being active in a charitable cause confers much immunity. However, even a celebrity who devotes most of his or her life to charity is not completely immune from snark. Witness the snark directed at Prince Charles and Princess Diana for their extramarital affairs.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

What about Chris O'Donnell?

Posted by: JL | July 18, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

would have even mentioned Jimmy Stewart, until I read that he had a fit when Princeton (his alma mater) decided to accept women
***
emily, all men had fits back then when women entered the hallowed halls. same thing happened at notre dame. jimmy stewart graduated in 1932 from princeton. since he lived another 65 years or so after that and encouraged his daughters in the sciences and to be independent women and married the most independent of women, i would discount that one indiscretion.

Posted by: jimmy stewart was not only a great actor but served his country admirably in WW2 | July 18, 2008 3:22 PM | Report abuse

Matt Damon is snarkable based on his friendship with Ben Afleck. Mind you that is weak basis for cutting him out so maybe he should stay considering his sense of humor about himself. Meryl Streep must go based on preemptive snarking of Mama Mia. Have you seen the clips of her and Pierce Brosnan singing?

I would try to nominate Scarlett Johansson but then all I have to do is remember that Album she just put out, Shudder. And maybe the fact that she is Woodie Allen's new muse, double shudder.

What is wrong with DeNiro. I cannot recall anything that would make him snarkable shy of how easy it is to make fun of some of his characters.

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

chris noth
****
nope, he fell asleep in a nyc subway, intoxicated and wearing bedroom slippers.

Posted by: janet relucantly banishes chris noth to the snark pile | July 18, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Is snark protected free speech? Hmmmm.....let's examine the possibilities. Public figure? Check. Based on fact? Depends. Intention to disparage? Hmmmm....
Quantifiable damages? Any publicity is good publicity.

ep, I think that only a sharky-snarky lawyer would initiate a slander suit.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Chris O'Donnell -- nominated. Good bona fides.

Robert DeNiro -- seconded for retention

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

OK. I am almost embarrassed to say this, but I nominate Ellen DeGeneres. She is totally cool and nice.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: jimmy stewart was not only a great actor but served his country admirably in WW2 | July 18, 2008 3:22 PM

Alright. Put him back on the no snark list. He redeemed himself.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Excuse me, excuse me....

What about Bono?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Posted by: beegrace | July 18, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Heidi Klum (speaking of Tim Gunn)
local celeb smokin' hottie - Todd McDermott
Mary Louise Parker

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

That was John Wayne's approach, really one-dimensional.
***
maybe, but under the direction of john ford and others, he created some wonderful characters. the quiet man anyone? the man who shot liberty valance? the searchers? stagecoach? she wore a yellow ribbon? people still watch those films today. not sure how one dimensional that makes those who do.

Posted by: janet admits to have 2 of john wayne's movies on her top 10 list | July 18, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

Bono? Are you kidding me? As full of himself as he is? He practically begs for snark about his holier than thou attitude.

Posted by: that Guy | July 18, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

What about Chris O'Donnell?

Posted by: JL | July 18, 2008 3:21 PM

After his turn as Robin in Batman Forever, I can't get on board with a Chris O'Donnell nomination.

And as for Bono, the sunglasses alone are enough to warrant a snarkfest. Why does he wear them in interviews? Indoors? The mind reels.

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

I thought DeNiro had a reputation for being kind of weird and cranky in real life. And maybe not so nice with women.

I like Streep because she's always been about acting and not about herself. Plus, any celeb with a long marriage is worthy of consideration.

Tom Jones is icky, in that fat Elvis, shirt unbuttoned to the navel, Vegas years kind of way. Ewww.

After watching The Last King of Scotland and some of his other movies, maybe Forrest Whitaker deserves a nod.

Posted by: epony | July 18, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

I can't see Matt Damon without thinking of the "Team America World Police" movie. They snarked him pretty good there, so I say he's snarkable. Also, Adam Sandler is totally snarkable.

Luv Madeline Kahn.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | July 18, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Mary Louise Parker -- nominated
Heidi Klum -- nominated
Todd McDermott -- relatively unknown outside DC Metro area

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

some of you are ruder than the OB people ever were.
*****
well, then, i assume you want to be on your merry way elsewhere

Posted by: janet says don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out | July 18, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Also, got an ENTIRE question wrong on the bar exam and still passed. Hope that gives you strength. The best thing I can say about it is it's over.

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Chris O'Donnell -- disputed
Matt Damon -- disputed
Bono -- nominated and disputed
Forrest Whitaker -- nominated
Madeline Kahn -- mentioned but not eligible
Jimmy Stewart -- mentioned but not eligible
George Carlin -- mentioned but not eligible

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Heidi Klum sells her line of jewelry on QVC. I'd say that's an automatic blackball.

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Frances McDermott - She was so great in Fargo.

Posted by: Emily has another nomination | July 18, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

An automatic blackball from the no-snark list. Not an automatic exemption from snarking. Sorry, Heidi. Auf wiedersehen.

Posted by: musicgeek clarifies | July 18, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

How about Minnie Driver? She is classy in my book for not talking about her baby daddy.

Posted by: hr girl | July 18, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

For that matter, I'd suggest that anyone who's name has ever been associated with infomercials be banned from the list.

Posted by: musicgeek continues... | July 18, 2008 3:42 PM | Report abuse

Matt Damon is snarkable because he snarks himself, his image. He's one of the ones in on his own joke. I heart the guy.

Em, I just could NEVER get on board with John Wayne. Don't know what it is. Same to a lesser extent with Bogart and Tracy. I love some of their films (especially Tracy/Hepburn, and I have to say Tracy kind of made fun of his own image in Mad Mad Mad Mad World), but found no real attraction to the men. So many other actors of their era were more appealing. Just me, I guess.

Posted by: hermespal | July 18, 2008 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Frances McDermott - She was so great in Fargo.

Posted by: Emily has another nomination | July 18, 2008 3:39 PM

McDormand. I love her! Mrs. Coen!

Posted by: hermespal | July 18, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

Ok...I'll potentially give you all Heidi. But her smokin hotness (yeah, I'm a girl, but I have eyes!), her hit show, and her adorable family miiiiiiight just overtake that.

Also, maybe Liz could do a special on Todd McDermott...he's famous HERE!

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Right. Oops. Sorry. Thanks for the correction.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

banning anyone involved in infomercials would knock out Mike Rowe seeing as he was on QVC. Is that such a wise suggestion? Or does he as the exception prove the rule?

Posted by: That Guy | July 18, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

And what about Guillermo from Jimmy Kimmel. He can do no wrong for me. "I am Jason Bourne Identity!"

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Who the hell is above reproach? Everybody needs checks&balances. Executive. Judicial. Legislative. Parental. Insignificant other. Children. Teachers. Bosses. Talk show hosts and radio no-personalities. You get the point... EVERYBODY has an agenda.

Posted by: No innocence lost no innocence gained | July 18, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

I nominate Ellen DeGeneres. She is totally cool and nice.
*******
no, no, no, no, no, no. she completely screwed up the dog adoption issue and then went and boo hooed on the show about it. infuriating and irresponsible. i liked her till then and she's now been banished a la chris noth.

Posted by: janet needs a match to light the discarded snarks | July 18, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

"Heidi Klum sells her line of jewelry on QVC. I'd say that's an automatic blackball."

I can go with that until I recall that Mike Rowe used to sell all kinds of crap on QVC. Of course, Mike did so, tongue-in-cheek.

Not that I'm a fan of Heidi Klum.

Did anyone hear about the time she drove into an LA car repair shop with steam pouring from under the hood? She asked the mechanic on duty to troubleshoot the problem. The mechanic took a quick look and ventured, "Ms Klum I think you blew a seal." "I had ICE CREAM," she replied in a huff.

Comments?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Ellen Degeneres -- rejected
John Wayne -- "He's dead, Jim"
Frances McDormand -- nominated

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:50 PM | Report abuse

RCR- Team America TRIED to snark on my boy Matt, but all they could come up with is "Matt Damon." It was funny, but not quite snarky. Huh. I never knew I loved Matt. I'm surprised.

Sas- You missed Frances McDormand.

Has Taye Diggs done anything stupid? (I've got La Vie Boheme running through my head)

Posted by: atb | July 18, 2008 3:51 PM | Report abuse

Guys, I have to get some work done this afternoon. Can anyone take over scribe duties for me?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 18, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Wow. Triple caught while I was singing La Vie Boheme.

Posted by: atb | July 18, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

The celestial unsnarkables:
jimmy stewart
gloria swanson
barbara stanwyck
robert taylor
henry fonda
lillian gish
jerry orbach


Live and kicking unsnarkables
carol burnett
paul newman
joanne woodward
morgan freeman
tim gunn
mike rowe
helen mirren
judi dench
s. epatha merkerson
the barefoot contessa

p.s. someone in the industry told me alan alda would use the bathroom during meeting and leave the door open so everyone could hear everything. and i mean everything. that's a snark in my book.

Posted by: janet's list | July 18, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

Angela,

You kinda' reminds me of my son Jethro. You know, a hillbilly!

Posted by: Jed Clampett | July 18, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

I agree with hermespal, I think because Matt Damon snarks himself he should be allowed to stay.

Posted by: mdt | July 18, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

out of here (really this time)....

I clicked the links that were posted. It was just a joke. I am sorry you got so very, very upset. And even sorrier that some of the other posters can not see that Mike is no way near as famous as some of the others on the list.

Posted by: jokes and snark are only for regulars | July 18, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

hr girl, you took the words out of my mouth. I was about to say Minnie Driver.

And a little behind, but I do believe America Ferrera should be on the list.

Is Cuba Gooding Jr. snark worthy? I like the guy, but I don't know if the "Show me the money" and the "I'm wearing your underwear" lines would count him out.

I would take Matt Damon off. Something about him... If something were to happen to him, my first reaction would probably be a solid "HA!"

Posted by: Em | July 18, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

I'm in the "all celebrities are snark material" camp, including those on your list, Sas. That's what we're here for, right?

By the way, the bar's open.

Posted by: methinks | July 18, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

p.s. someone in the industry told me alan alda would use the bathroom during meeting and leave the door open so everyone could hear everything. and i mean everything. that's a snark in my book.

Posted by: janet's list | July 18, 2008 3:53 PM

Eewww. Janet, you just burst my bubble. I am crushed.

Posted by: Emily longs for her innocent youth | July 18, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

If anything, his turn in Jerry Maguire would make me vote in favor of Cuba Gooding, Jr. But then I remember that he was in such gems as Snow Dogs, Boat Trip and Daddy Day Care, and I throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 4:02 PM | Report abuse

Whenever the Barefoot Contessa comes on, mousespouse says, "So how much butter will she be using today?"

There are jokes about McDormand getting some of her roles due to sleeping with the director. But they're almost reverse snark (i.e., snarking the Hollywood stereotypes instead of McDormand herself) since one generally doesn't receive an Oscar for a role procured through special favors. I think there's also an element of her being in on it, which may nullify some of the snark factor (see: Damon).

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 4:03 PM | Report abuse

generally doesn't receive an Oscar for a role procured through special favors.

*******************************************

What about Marisa Tomei?

Posted by: Dorkus | July 18, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

I vote that there is no such thing as a no-snark list. In the right hands, everyone can be mocked or snarked upon.

I almost wet myself in a fan frenzy over Mirren the other day, but she's still snarkable. She was in Caligula, folks.

Tiger Woods? The guy's a robot.

Jeter? FOD.

Connery? Wife-beater. Also, remember those hilarious Jeopardy skits from SNL?

Mortenson/Cusak--both are gasbags. Zzzzzz. Just shut up and act, pretty boys.

Denzel Washington--remember when he wouldn't kiss Julia Roberts in Pelican Brief? (OK, maybe that was just good taste, but still.)

Point is, no one is above the snark. Not Gandhi. Not Newman. Not Rowe. At least in my book.

Posted by: alex's vote is just one drop in the vast ocean | July 18, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

- Glenn Close
- Meryl Streep
- Ed Norton
- Christian Bale
- Johnny Depp ("21 Jump Street" Days fall under the Snark Statute of Limitations)
- Colin Firth
- Helen Mirren (jumping on the bandwagon)
- Morgan Freeman (despite "The Bucket List")
- Jeremy Irons
- Sir John Gielgud

Raise your hand if you note a trend here - the lower the affinity for landing on "US Weekly" pages, the lower the snarkability . . .

Posted by: Legallyblondemel | July 18, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

Actually, Eddie Murphy was in Daddy Day Care. Cuba took his spot in Daddy Day *Camp*. Eddie apparently didn't feel the sequel was up to his high standards. Which is really saying something.

Posted by: mouse, who somehow knows this, despite not seeing the sequel | July 18, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

PS - I also nominate Matt Damon, whose snarkability potential is negated by his very obviously being in on the joke.

Posted by: Legallyblondemel | July 18, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

What about Joan Cusak?

I think I spelled that one right!

Posted by: Irishgirl | July 18, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Meryl Streep (as stated above)
Pattie La Belle
Glenn Close
Morgan Freeman
Ben Kingsley
Jet Lee

Posted by: petal | July 18, 2008 4:10 PM | Report abuse

What about Marisa Tomei?

Posted by: Dorkus | July 18, 2008 4:05 PM

Touché!

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 4:10 PM | Report abuse

Peter O'Toole. Yeah, he smoked and drank himself into oblivion. And he was in King Ralph. But he WAS Lawrence of Arabia and King Henry II.

Posted by: musicgeek | July 18, 2008 4:11 PM | Report abuse

Glenn Close was in Up With People. Automatically disqualified from snark-proof.

Posted by: Ewwwwww!!!! | July 18, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

Christopher Reeve? I know he's dead, but he's also fairly recent. Can you at least add him to the list of celestial no snarks?

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

From Coupling (British version):

"I love Helen Mirren! She's always so... naked! It's like her breasts are afraid of the dark!"

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

janet, I like Robert Taylor, but there's a clunker of a line from Quo Vadis that just cracks my nieces and nephews up whenever we hear it. It's something like, "There's Rome over yonder there." The dialog coupled with the unbelievably wooden delivery just sets everyone off into peals of laughter.

Plus, Robert Taylor was something of a snitch during the Hollywood red scare.

Verdict = Snarkable.

Posted by: alex thinks even the "legends" are snarkable | July 18, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Ewwww Emily yourself. What are you doing here? Go back to the MM blogs. Scat!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Emily has been playing nice today, she can stay.

Posted by: Chief Dorkus | July 18, 2008 4:22 PM | Report abuse

What is a MM blog?

Nice to see you Emily!

Posted by: Irishgirl | July 18, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Nice to see you too, Irishgirl. And thanks, Chief Dorkus.

MM blogs are the mean mommie blogs, (OP and the now defunct OB blog (sob)).

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Did 'Mudge post the updated Lizard Dictionary yet today?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 4:31 PM | Report abuse

Based on his career, Christopher Reeve should have a permanent place on the Snark List. Most of his movies were stinkers (Superman, Remains of the Day, and maybe Deathtrap being exceptions). Somewhere in Time alone should earn him a lifetime achievement snark award. His subsequent misfortune shouldn't cancel this out and earn him a pity pass.

Same with Swayze. And I really like Swayze and wish him only the best as he is fighting pancreatic cancer. But he made some truly awful career choices that should be snarked.

Posted by: alex shows no mercy (and expects none in return) | July 18, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Bono? Are you kidding me? As full of himself as he is? He practically begs for snark about his holier than thou attitude.

Posted by: that Guy | July 18, 2008 3:32 PM

I'd pick Bono over Bruce Springsteen!!!

How about another "local" -- Alex Ovechkin??

And while Jeter has had interesting taste in women, he hasn't married or gotten any of them pregnant.

Posted by: Catching up... | July 18, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

And as for Bono, the sunglasses alone are enough to warrant a snarkfest. Why does he wear them in interviews? Indoors? The mind reels.

***************

Bono has said that he has an eye condition that makes him sensitive to light, so no snarking on the sunglasses. That said, even though I loves me some Bono, I declare him most definitely snarkolicious.

Posted by: Elise | July 18, 2008 4:34 PM | Report abuse

mouse has a mousespouse. :-)

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Even Irishgirl snarks on Bono. :)

Things did get mean on the MM blogs Emily, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to like to make fun of the celebs.

Posted by: Irishgirl | July 18, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Christopher Reeve? I know he's dead, but he's also fairly recent. Can you at least add him to the list of celestial no snarks?

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:13 PM

Add Dana, too...

How about John Ritter?

Yeah, I know they're both dead...Heck, add Jim Henson, too.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | July 18, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

chris noth
****
nope, he fell asleep in a nyc subway, intoxicated and wearing bedroom slippers.

Posted by: janet relucantly banishes chris noth to the snark pile | July 18, 2008 3:24 PM

#########

Sad, but kinda makes me laugh. I'm imagining bunny slippers.

Did I also hear that he was fired off of the L&O:CI show?

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Things did get mean on the MM blogs Emily, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to like to make fun of the celebs.

Posted by: Irishgirl | July 18, 2008 4:36 PM

True, Irishgirl. I am trying very hard not to snark at the lizards though. This is like rehab for me.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Just saw "Must Love Dogs" both Diane Lane and John Cusack are snarkable because of that dretch

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Meryl Streep--a dingo also ate her wardrobe. Seriously, have you seen how this woman dresses? Yikes. Profoundly snarkworthy.

Posted by: alex needs some bono shades to gaze upon streep | July 18, 2008 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Somewhere in time was one of my absolute favorite movies back in the day.

Nobody appreciates innocent romance anymore.

However, I just saw something on Netflix that knocked my sox off. Has anyone seen Head in the Clouds with Charlize Theron and Penelope Cruz. I loved it.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:48 PM | Report abuse

re: mousespouse

Wish I could take credit for that, but someone else coined the term. I'm thinking byoolin. Now I have co-opted it.

Posted by: mouse | July 18, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

also hear that he was fired off of the L&O:CI show
****
yes, sadly, he was given the heave ho. have not yet sniffed out why. they wished him well and showed him the door

Posted by: janet mourns the absence of chris noth from any L&O show. | July 18, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

True, Irishgirl. I am trying very hard not to snark at the lizards though. This is like rehab for me.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:44 PM

**********

If you want to say something back to me in defense of Christopher Reeve, that's OK, tho!

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Shakira unsnarkable? Why, because she continues to further her education?

Does that really mitigate "Hips Don't Lie?"

Posted by: b | July 18, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Hello???? Pride & Prejudice. Why do you think Colin Firth is even on the unsnarkable list? The best Mr. Darcy ever.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Nobody appreciates innocent romance anymore.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:48 PM

-------------------------------
Hello???? Pride & Prejudice. Why do you think Colin Firth is even on the unsnarkable list? The best Mr. Darcy ever.

Posted by: Ok, lets try this again. | July 18, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Emily, yes, I own Heads in the Clouds. A flawed movie, but I like it.

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

If you want to say something back to me in defense of Christopher Reeve, that's OK, tho!

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 4:54 PM

Well, it's hard to get really snarky about celebrities. Everyone has their particular tastes. Some are purists, and others, like me, like a little trash and smut mixed in there. So I think Superman deserves his place in the sun, not despite his cheesy flicks, but because of them. How can you enjoy filet minion fully if you've never tasted hamburger? But that's just me.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

Here you go.

Not a lot new this week. We were too busy kissing on Mike Rowe and dodging baby poop flung by the MMs.

CELEBRITOLOGY UNIVERSE
Unabashed Glossary of Terms

Andy - the official kitty of the Celebritology Universe
Bagging the viper - vulgar synonym for "knockin' boots" (see below)
Barfishious - describes the type of thoughts one has when contemplating Verne Troyer's sex video
Bawlmer - the Lizard Snark Shelter Safety Officer
Blowback - non-Lizard snark
Booby Kennedy Day (BKD) - a bodacious afternoon at the Celebritology Hut
1) In Addition to All Capitals and Exclamation Points, the Overuse of Capitalization of Words, Shall Henceforth Also Be a Factor for Determining Craziness.
2) The use of numbers in place of words (e.g., "2" for "two", "4" for "four" as in, "I am 2 cool 4 this") shall be a marker for consideration of BKD status
3) The "random" use of "quotation marks" for "no apparently good reason" shall be a "marker" for "consideration" of BKD status (Byoolin won't even mention the use of the word "toodles")
4) Any use of chatspeak, leetspeak, or any form of language in which clarity and correctness is sacrificed for speed is cause for a BKD nomination

Bootless Knockin' - the norm at Lizard Island (see also "Knockin' Boots" "Knockin' Ferragamos", below)
Boyzillion - the entire area of one's privacies after waxing (see "yetzillion" below)
Byoolin - the Babe Ruth (in a good way) of the Celebritology Universe
Carm down - a warning that is issued when passions rise too precipitously
Celebuspawn - what comes out when a celebrity foals
Celinedion - Lizard-speak for a popular scatological term; (e.g., "she has celinedion for brains" or "celinedion, I get that horrid Tom Cruise ad at the top of my page" or " . . . the current celinedion on TV right now" or "celinedion!"); a more dainty version of DaneCook
Cheetoes - what all B-list celebrity babies, and wannababies, are wearing this season
Clint Eastwood - grumpy old man
"Cogito ergo perfututa" - the official motto of the Celebrity Universe (sounds classy, doesn't it)
Commando raid - mischief effected by a band of Lizards, sometimes includes a rescue ladder
Contrafribularities - (1) apologies, consolation; (2) congratulations, applause, etc.
Cromulent - excellent, realistic, authentic
Cruisiness - the most obvious characteristic of a massive weirdo
DaneCook - a heftier version of celinedion; as in, "I feel so much better after taking that massive DaneCook"
DB Cooper - Sasquatch's former and much missed neighbor
Dingleberry waffles and Moose Turd Pie - the official brunch of the Celebri-Lizard Olympic Team
Doing the Funky Wiggle - what happens when LiLo breaks the one-at-a-time rule
Embiggen - to enlarge; to flesh-out (i.e., the results a boob job)
Empress Tea Lobby - the Lizard version of the Algonquin Round Table
Fatty - one who needs to carm down
Frumpy - to look like Rumer Wills wearing that slouchy beret thingy
Gecko - Curmudgeon's super secret undercover Lizard alias
Geigh - what Clay may or may not be; a cinaedus
Getting chocked up - what happens to Lizards when learning of their first ruined keyboard
Harangue the hairy one - this has something to do with Sasquatch
Harshing the snark - critiquing and otherwise criticizing Celebritology comments
Hater - someone with an opinion that differs from your own
Heincer - the couple name for Heidi and Spencer. ("[we] enjoy thinking of them as an object rather than people . . . no real people could ever be that dumb" -hr girl)
Hirsute - what Sasquatch is (aka Prince Hairy); a crytid
http://tinyurl.com/3zpqg4 - official URL of the Celebritology Universe
Incestupus - (1) the appearance of being incestuous (cf, Billy Ray Cyrus and daughter, Miley Ray Cyrus, in the "Vanity Fair" photo spread); (2) what you call Miley's relationship with Billy Ray if you want to incite another BKD (see Booby Kennedy Day, above)
Kitchen pass - what a Lizard gets from the so/spouse to indulge in flights of bootylicious fancy about certain celebrity members of the opposite sex (geigh or neigh)
Knockin' boots - (1) bagging the viper; (2) celebrities being snarked
Knockin' Ferragamos - the same as knockin' boots only done by wealthy Italians (see above)
LiLo leggings - a part of the Lizard Commando Unit's uniform generally worn while going up the rescue ladder; most distinctive features are the padded knee pads and easy-open crotch seam
Lizard - a denizen of the Celebritology Universe
Lizard Island - sort of like Gilligan's Island only we know how to leave if we want
Lizard Island Bridge Of Death - people who want to cross onto Lizard Island would be given five - er, three - questions to answer. If they get 'em right, they're in, if not, well, it's a Bridge of Death, right?
Lizard Island Fearless Leaders -
Loh-blivious - a totally clueless Lizard
Luvlinsey - doesn't know how to spell linDsAy
Manhattan Project - a cunning Lizard plan that will remove Celebri-scum from the world once and for all, while maintaining Lizard Island's totally green footprint
Mean Mommy (MM) - a regular on the OP blog
Merkin - a larger, less refined, second cousin to a tumbleweave (see "tumbleweave" below)
Methinks - the Lizard with the initial pony fixation
Mike Rowe - the itinerant, wandering, meandering, or walking about hero of Lizards everywhere
Mr Liz - beloved consort of Queen Liz and co-keeper of the Kelly menagerie; it is thought that Mr Liz has the good sense to stay away from the Lizards
Neck-to-knee - Clay's personal grooming secret
Opracity - the extent to which a media figure tries to insert themselves into every aspect of popular culture (e.g., "Paris Hilton, while totally untalented, maintains an Opracity of 96 percent.")
Owe the humanity! - Lizard cry of abashment, grief, and chagrin
Page - the official pup of the Celebritology Universe
Pastafarian - one who worships at the altar of Ramen
Peep show - what the Thursday Celebritology Chat becomes after an hour of dueling hot links
Photo spread - what Britney and Paris provide onlookers when exiting from an auto
Placticated - what Katie Holmes seems to be in more recent times (i.e., the results of a nose job)
Pony - what every Lizard really really really wants (would be a unicorn if it had a horn in the middle of its forehead)
Pornorific - self-explanatory
Privacies - that which can remain protected by a pair of LiLo leggings (unless the crotch seam gives way)
Propper nacked - showing more skin than Miley Cyrus did in the "Vanity Fair" photo spread
Shamued - being squashed by a killer whale falling from a great height; a celebrity after being publicly humiliated (shamed)
Shibbi/shibby - hot, cool, partying, or wasted
Skank - a streetwalker
Skanque - (1) a call girl; (2) a French streetwalker
Skeleboobs - aka Victoria Posh Spice Beckham (see also TOAS)
SMAME - what Lizards hang their heads in
Snark - clever but keenly disparaging remarks about another organization, custom, or person (especially a celebrity)
Snarkfest - the Celebritology posting media
Snark shelter - where Lizards hide from attacks from the MMs (and TTTs for the faint of heart) and eat snacks
Snark tank - where a deserving celebrity is sent to be snarked limb from limb
Snarky - the essence of a clever, glib observation made by a Lizard
Speedos - snarky synonym for male privacies when seen on a beach or around a pool
Televizzle - where one watches that Pekinese rescue league thing
Texting 'Tweener Tw*t (TTT) - (1) ignorant middleschooler; (2) ignorant grownup
The Perfect Beckham - a six-pack and a brat
TOAS - T**'s On A Stick (see also Skeleboobs)
Transpostite - a low-life who impersonates a Lizard by cross-posting to other blogs, particularly the MM blog
"Troiana lacerta matribus contumeliosis tradita, pax restituta est." - breaking news announcement from the Lizard Post Organizer
Trojan Lizard - a cunning and artful Commando device used to infiltrate suspect territory; recently captured and taken to an undisclosed location awaiting ransom
Tumbleweave - an erstwhile hair extension living on its own in the big city; a smaller, more refined, second cousin to a merkin (see "merkin" above)
Unchoreographed flame - (1) an event in a John Woo film reminiscent of the campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles"; (2) any unexpected event
Wrestling the taco - something that Mrs Hogan might want her new boy toy to do
Yetzillion - the entire area of a cryptid's privacies after waxing (see "boyzillion" above)


Posted by: Curmudgeon stops working for a moment | July 18, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

Proper nacked....still my favorite.

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

I'm not a regular CI viewer, but it seems like every time I tune in they've made a casting change. I miss Jamey Sheridan. Didn't they also change Noth's partner?

I wonder how much longer it'll last--I'm mostly catching it on reruns now.

(CSI:NY is another show I can't understand how it keeps hanging on. I really like Gary Sinise, but he deserves a better vehicle than that.)

Posted by: alex is just asking rhetorical questions (aka, talking to herself) | July 18, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

I thought sigh was becoming spartan. Or was that still? Or am I confused? Again.

Posted by: alex probably has early-onset Alzheimer's | July 18, 2008 5:06 PM | Report abuse

Sas,

Please remove Helen Mirren. She's quite snarkable.

Please add Joanne Woodward, Bruce, Sissy Spacek[sp], and Sean Connery.

Matt Damon??? get real - I could snark him with one hand tied behind my back

Liberace is the most snarkable dead guy ever.

Mike Rowe is questionable. Did anyone look at the you tube video of him singing "My Way"? yeeeeech

The rest? meh.

Posted by: Curmudgeon weighs in | July 18, 2008 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Nobody appreciates innocent romance anymore.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 4:48 PM

-------------------------------
Hello???? Pride & Prejudice. Why do you think Colin Firth is even on the unsnarkable list? The best Mr. Darcy ever.

Posted by: Ok, lets try this again. | July 18, 2008 4:55 PM

Please. You are such a purist. I am talking a different genre of innocent romance. Like along the lines of.... I don't know... Pretty in Pink, Titanic, that sort of thing.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Emily, I love it when you talk trash.

Posted by: Dandylion | July 18, 2008 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Titanic? Bleh.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Dandylion, go back to OP. And take Shakes with you.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Becoming Spartan?

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 5:15 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Curmudgeon has shown how easily she can snark Dame That's-Not-Her-Body Helen. : )

Posted by: jsk | July 18, 2008 5:21 PM | Report abuse

Move on from Mike Rowe? Okay.
Clive Owen.

(And Mike Rowe!)

Posted by: mmmmikerowe | July 18, 2008 5:22 PM | Report abuse

Maybe I'm off here, but it seems like some people are equating personal preferences with snarkability. Take for example Derek Jeter - all the BoSox fans are gonna razz him, but is that really snark-worthy, or is the guy a jerk who needs to be put in his place?

Okay, I'm off my high horse.

Having said all that, I'll nominate some people who haven't shown up yet on the list:

Conan O'Brien
Jim Lehrer
Tina Fey
Amy Poehler

I suppose you could argue that 3 of the 4 are in the Stewart/Colbert category of being in on the joke, but they seem like pretty down to earth people all the same.

Posted by: tomd | July 18, 2008 5:23 PM | Report abuse

Becoming Spartan?

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 5:15 PM

**********

Posted by: spartan (still has settled on a new handle) | July 17, 2008 10:42 AM

**********

Sorry, Sigh. I went back and checked--it was still.

But you made me laugh. . .

Posted by: alex needed a laugh | July 18, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Angela Bassett, Salma Hayek, Cicely Tyson, Gary Olman, Colin Firth and Alan Rickman.

Posted by: petal | July 18, 2008 5:31 PM | Report abuse

Ha, I was like, am I being insulted here, because I don't even get it. Ha. Time to go home, peace out kids.

Can we snark Gerard Butler? Ow! Ow!

Posted by: Sigh | July 18, 2008 5:31 PM | Report abuse

I'll second Alan Rickman.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 5:32 PM | Report abuse

Dandylion - was that you? Please stay.

Lizards, you have no idea what you're missing if you are snarking on DL. He is a hoot. Irishgirl can vouch for that.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 5:34 PM | Report abuse

HAAAAAANNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dorkus | July 18, 2008 5:34 PM | Report abuse

Dandylion = Shakes

Therefore it's gotta go back to OP.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 5:36 PM | Report abuse

Rachel Weisz. I've met her and she really is un-snarkable. A very nice and classy lady.

Posted by: londonmom | July 18, 2008 5:37 PM | Report abuse

"Dandylion = Shakes"

Nope. Not a chance. DL is funny and witty and nice. He is nothing like Shakes.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 5:38 PM | Report abuse

Hey, londonmom,
Was your baby born yet? Did I miss the announcement?

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

"Dandylion = Shakes"

Nope. Not a chance.

And you know this because???

Posted by: Anonymous | July 18, 2008 5:43 PM | Report abuse

Oh Most Gracious Majesty Liz,

I humble beseech your assistance. If I send you my resume and hrgirl and Em send you their email addresses, would you be so kind as to pass my resume on to them?

Your most humble Lizard
EP

Posted by: ep | July 18, 2008 5:49 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I just thought of a good saying:
"Snarky is as Snarky Does."
I'm not sure what it means, though.
Actually, if I couldn't snark, I'd be very,very unhappy. In fact, I even snark on people I really love occasionally. But I have to nominate my two first crushes. They are:
Mighty Mouse and
Nick Clooney (George's dad)

They could never be anything than my heroes!!!

Posted by: possum | July 18, 2008 5:53 PM | Report abuse

Both Alan Rickman and Gerry Butler are on my kitchen pass list, but both are also snarkable. Gerry *gasp* dated the crazy Naomi Campbell. She probably hit him on the head with her cell phone and caused brain damage, but nevertheless--he gets mocked for that. Also, he's totally hot but he wore a diaper in 300. Snark.

And Rickman can get snarked for totally overacting in Robin Hood. (It was so bad it was almost campy.) Truly, Madly, Deeply is one of my favorite movies, but it isn't safe from some good-humored mockery, either.

Posted by: alex avers no one is immune | July 18, 2008 5:53 PM | Report abuse

Nick Clooney has a great voice, doesn't he?

(I have a weakness for great voices. Which is why I love Alan Rickman so much.)

Posted by: alex doesn't like Mighty Mouse's voice, tho (sounds like Beckham) | July 18, 2008 5:55 PM | Report abuse

But Alex, Allan Rickman HAD to overact in Robin Hood.

Otherwise that movie would have been complete and utter tripe.

His characterization was sublime.

Posted by: Curmudgeon really likes A Rickman as the nasty Sheriff | July 18, 2008 5:57 PM | Report abuse

And you know this because???

Posted by: | July 18, 2008 5:43 PM

Because I know Dandylion. It's just that simple.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Yep - had a little baby boy (born in London) last November and have since returned to the area. Back at work now so back to being unproductive with my time!

Posted by: londonmom | July 18, 2008 6:16 PM | Report abuse

Congratulations. And welcome back.

Posted by: Emily | July 18, 2008 6:23 PM | Report abuse

Rickman didn't save the movie--it was still tripe. Can you believe that a movie w/ Morgan Freeman, Sean Connery, Brian Blessed, Alan Rickman, Christian Slater, etc. could be so rank? And it was 90% because of Costner, but also because of Rickman. He's brilliant, but his performance was just misplaced in that movie. But the eye rolling did get to be funny. And Rickman is one of those actors I'd pay to listen to read the phone book. (Maybe I'll have to watch Love Actually this weekend.)

Posted by: alex | July 18, 2008 7:24 PM | Report abuse

Late getting back to the party!

Just saw "Must Love Dogs" both Diane Lane and John Cusack are snarkable because of that dretch Posted by: | July 18, 2008 4:45 PM

OH MY GOD. WORST. MOVIE. EVER.

Cuba Gooding is definitely snark worthy. After Jerry MacGuire he couldn't get arrested, entirely due to his incredibly sh*tty attitude (calling Val Kilmer back in the day). He admits this, which puts him partially back in my good books.

I totally heart Alan Rickman. But I'm biased--he's done my lines in a movie, and it was a highlight of my LIFE, much less my career. Still, doesn't mean he's not snarkable--I think he'd be amused.

Barkeep, I'd like a nice cold chardonnay this afternoon--perfect weather for it.

Posted by: hermespal | July 18, 2008 7:29 PM | Report abuse

Alex, was it you who referenced Truly Madly Deeply? What a great film. Makes Ghost look like hollywood dreck.

Having said that, Love Actually is one of my very favorite movies (although I could have done without one of the storylines) and I literally grin with delight when that angelic kid makes his sprint through the airport (the hug with Liam isn't bad either!).

I give Rickman a pass in Robin Hood, only because the whole film was so awful--his scenes were at least amusingly over the top ("Cancel the kitchen scraps for widows and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas!" come on, that's genius! ;-) The only person in the entire film who seemed comfortable with both role and accent was Mastrantonio--and then they gave her that horrible set of climactic scenes, screaming and crying and being hysterical. Poor girl.

Posted by: hermespal | July 18, 2008 7:35 PM | Report abuse

Truly, Madly, Deeply is one of my favorite movies,
*****
alex, also one of my favorite movies. loved it, just loved it. and that remake w/demi moore. eek and yegods. horrifying in comparison. i heart alan rickman big time. he could read the phone book and that would be fine by me. can't believe i left him off my list. lashes.

Posted by: janet & frankie heart alan rickman bigtime | July 18, 2008 8:48 PM | Report abuse

and don't forget the heavy cream.
on a serious note, i have made many of her recipes. they are easy to make and really good.

Posted by: janet is usually too lazy to cook | July 18, 2008 8:50 PM | Report abuse

Robert Taylor was something of a snitch during the Hollywood red scare.
******
yikes, you're absolutely right. i cannot believe i forgot about that.
should add humphrey bogart to the unsnarkable because he stood up to those bastardos in congress during the red scare. so i give him a pass on his drinking and screwing around.

Posted by: janet is sheepish that alex had to remind her that robert taylor was a fink | July 18, 2008 8:58 PM | Report abuse

Tough being on the left side of the nation.... Miss out on lots of rough 'n' tumble. Secrets from old timers on how to manage coming to the party so late?

Posted by: jsk, who means besides getting up earlier cuz that ain't gonna happen | July 18, 2008 9:37 PM | Report abuse

Some who have not been mentioned yet:
Don Cheadle
Mariska Hargitay
Ellen Burstyn
Sophia Loren
Bob Newhart
Fred Willard

Another reason FOR Meryl Streep deserving no-snark - she nursed fiance John Cazale in his final year(s) until his death from bone cancer. (RIP, Fredo Corleone)

Posted by: jenBme | July 18, 2008 11:49 PM | Report abuse

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