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Posted at 7:43 AM ET, 07/ 7/2008

Morning Mix: Amy Winehouse Says She Did Drugs in Rehab

By Liz Kelly

Update: Nicole Kidman gives birth -- she and Keith Urban today welcomed daughter Sunday Rose Kidman Urban in Nashville. -- 11:11 a.m. ET.

Monday

Headlines: Amy Winehouse says she did drugs in rehab... Palestinians ask Snoop Dogg to boycott Israel... "Beckham boost" ups underwear sales in U.K... Osbourne family to host TV variety show... Pam Anderson celebrates birthday with illusionist Criss Angel... Former "Bachelor" Andrew Firestone marries... Bozo the Clown Larry Harmon dead at 83.

Pix: Tina Turner rocks glittery harem pant/one-piece thingy... Fuller-figured Oprah vacations in Italy... Unoriginal Jim Carrey dons girlfriend Jenny McCarthy's one-piece on beach.

Rumor Mill: Madonna says she's not headed for divorce. Still, trainer says A-Rod is "obsessed" with Madge... Britney Spears to join Madonna on tour?... Second affair for Christie Brinkley's husband to emerge in court; couple girds for battle over properties worth $80 million; supermodel spends 4th with ex Billy Joel... Rowdy Nicole Richie tossed from Vegas Hard Rock... Steve-O transferred from rehab to psychiatric hospital... Diddy forced to make back-door entrance to his own 4th fest... Hulkmania: Linda Hogan says Hulk Hogan stalking her... Usher may welcome back manager mom... Wu Tang's RZA set to direct martial arts movie.

Say What?
"If you have beautiful and strong hair, then you're successful with women." -- The strong-haired George Clooney to InTouch magazine

By Liz Kelly  | July 7, 2008; 7:43 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Comment Box: Celeb Parents, the Most Selfish of All?

Comments

FIRST!
thankfuly their R no anti-lohan posts in the mix 2day.

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 7, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

R.I.P., Bozo.

I can't wait to see how many pallbearers pile out of that tiny little hearse.

Posted by: byoolin supposes they'll all have their sad faces on. Bozo wouldn't have wanted that... | July 7, 2008 8:52 AM | Report abuse

PACBI sent Snoop a self-addressed reply card:

Fo shizzle, my nizzle,
I mos def [ ]will/[ ] will not
be dissin' d'Izzle.

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 8:59 AM | Report abuse

Amy, dear, doing drugs kinda defeats the purpose of rehab.

So much for motherhood changing Nicole.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I'm obviously not awake enough...

"Pedestrians ask Snoop Dog to boycott Israel."

and

"Andrew Firestone dead at 83."

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Breaking news: Mrs. A-Rod expected to file for divorce today
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/07/a-rod-divorce-madonna-was-the-last-straw/

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 9:03 AM | Report abuse

"Beckham's Boost" is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Posted by: sjcpeach | July 7, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

I used to watch Bozo and Cookie on WGN in the mornings before school. *sigh*

Posted by: jelo | July 7, 2008 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Combined, those Tina Turner & Jim Carrey photos contain 120% of the US RDA of camel-toe.

Posted by: byoolin recommends that you read the nutrient labes carefully. | July 7, 2008 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Breaking news: Mrs. A-Rod expected to file for divorce today
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/07/a-rod-divorce-madonna-was-the-last-straw/

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 9:03 AM

Is it breaking news if Newsday posted it yesterday?

Posted by: Wondering... | July 7, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Tina looks alright (her, not the clothes), and there is technically no toe showing. Jenny McCarthy's blue dress is gorgeous.

Posted by: jelo | July 7, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Is it breaking news if Newsday posted it yesterday?

It's breaking if Liz hasn't posted it yet.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

why so many pix of old women today? turner, mccarthy, etc.

Posted by: ugh | July 7, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

Emmy Passes Up Britney for... Actresses

http://tv.yahoo.com/how-i-met-your-mother/show/38167/news/urn:newsml:tv.eonline.com:20080702:8757c9e169ac_4832_8646_2cf87b68c222

I am shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you. Mary Kate Olsen wasn't on the list either.

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 7, 2008 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Are Amy Wino, Brit-Brit and Nicole young enough for ya?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Re: Mrs. A-Rod's "breaking" divorce plans... didn't we know this was coming? After all, wasn't she rumored to be vacationing in Paris with Lenny Kravitz?

Posted by: Liz Kelly | July 7, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

We should all hope to look as good as Tina Turner at her age.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

wasn't she rumored to be vacationing in Paris with Lenny Kravitz?

Are you saying it was Paris or Lenny that could end a marriage?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Tina admits to having had some work done (boob-lift, nose job to repair Ike's batterings, etc.). How much other work does she not admit to?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 9:41 AM | Report abuse

I can only hope that Madonna exercises her "hex appeal" on A-Rod. He's already got a little bit of a curse going so I'm hoping that the Madonna thing helps to bury the Yankees in the basement.

Posted by: Groovis imagines the Yankees getting their comeuppance after last night's game.... | July 7, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

I haven't seen Oprah in a really long time because I didn't realize she put the weight back on. What really interests me is the fact that Tyler Perry was on vacation with her(and Gayle).

"A-Rod is "obsessed" with Madge" WTF, that's got to be a sign of the apocalypse.

Posted by: petal | July 7, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

If only...

Amy Winehouse had gone to Steve-O's rehab

Pam Anderson had hitched up with Andrew Firestone

Hulk Hogan had stalked P Diddy

and Jim Carrey had donned Tina Turner's pants thingy...

the world would have been a better place.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Madge says, "I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study."

"Spiritual path?" Is that what they're calling it these days?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 10:02 AM | Report abuse

I'm guessing Oprah played "ditch" with trainer Bob Greene, not to mention her personal chef. I hope her current state isn't due to that 21-day diet. But boy is she gonna get it from Bob when she gets home! "200 situps, Missy!"

Hate to admit this, but Jim Carrey looks pretty good in that bathing suit. I'm the same age is he is, and he's working it.

It's hard to find a way to say "Snoop Dogg" and "Israel" in the same sentence. Bravo, Liz.

Does Mom Usher have to go through formal interviews? "Tell me about your experience." "Look, you ungrateful little $%@#, I changed your diapers...."

Posted by: td | July 7, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

Jim is wearing Jenny's suit, so why isn't Jenny wearing Jim's suit? That would've made the "joke" go over better, no?

Posted by: A spoonful of sugar and all that | July 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

"What really interests me is the fact that Tyler Perry was on vacation with [Oprah] and Gayle)." --petal

Have you ever seen a Tyler Perry movie? I caught "Madea's Family Reunion" on cable not long ago. It's a bizarre mix of drag, social commentary, family angst, silly humor, and -- out of nowhere -- this ultra-serious Cicely Tyson monologue. I can't say I enjoyed the film, yet I couldn't look away either. It was oddly hypnotic.

Oh, and on another note, George Clooney, just shut up. I'm sure that comment sounded like another of your oh-so-witty bon mots when you said it out loud, but in print it just makes you look a little too proud of yourself. Go away and snuggle up with your Oscar, funny man. Sheesh.

Posted by: td | July 7, 2008 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Some one shoulda told Tina she got her skirt tucked into her panty hose.
And as for Oprah...who says fasts don't work!? Hey Carlo! I'll take three of them giant 10,000 calorie frappe-thingies. And some olives.

Posted by: possum | July 7, 2008 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Bozo's passing reminds me of that Mary Tyler Moore episode when Chuckles the Clown dies and Mary can't stop laughing at the funeral. RIP.

Posted by: td | July 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Report abuse

"Spiritual path?" Is that what they're calling it these days?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 10:02 AM

**********************************

I really didn't need to think about Madonna's "spiritual path".

Posted by: Dorkus M. | July 7, 2008 10:29 AM | Report abuse

"Amy Winehouse says she did drugs in rehab"?

Well, well, well.

I don't know about you, but I'm impressed. 'yawn'

What a squirrel.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Is Jim Carrey sporting a Boyzillion?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Is Jim Carrey sporting a Boyzillion?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 10:46 AM


Curmudgeon - are you volunteering to check or examine him?

Posted by: James from the Block | July 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Folks, news alert just crossed saying Nicole Kidman gave birth. More details soon.

Posted by: Liz | July 7, 2008 11:08 AM | Report abuse

Mouse: I'm not awake either, I saw Andrew Firestone Marries Bozo the Clown.

Posted by: no_bs_4me | July 7, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

TO: James FTB

Check Jim Carrey? Ummmmmmmm. No.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

td,

I've seen the Madea plays, which were umm interesting. "Why Did I Get Married?" was surprisingly good, I even bought that one. "Meet the Browns" was a huge gigantic step backward. It was arwful but Rick Fox was a lead so I should not have been surprised.

Posted by: petal | July 7, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

I saw "Andrew Firestone dead at 83".

Thought: hmmp, another rubber baron bites the dust.

my bad

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

"Sunday Rose Kidman Urban" -- what a horrible name. What stupid parents. That kid's gonna be teased something fierce:

* "Were you born on a Sunday? No? Then why'd your parents name you that?"
* "Who'd like an ice cream Sunday [sic]?"
* "Never on Sunday"

Posted by: td | July 7, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

TO: James FTB

Check Jim Carrey? Ummmmmmmm. No.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 11:20 AM

Are you sure? You sound interested in his boyzillian! I guess Beckham and his package is your preference.

Posted by: James from the Block | July 7, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Sidney Rose would have been better given Nicole's Aussie heritage. But, as far as celeb children's names go, not so bad. Almost normal even.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

I have nothing witty to say, just that I'm cringing at my desk waiting for the Moron Brigade to sweep in on today's Comment Box.
...Did you hear that? Sounds like...thousands of thumbs on Blackberry keypads! Oh God, they've got clubs made from old copies of Parenting magazine and last week's issue of OK!! To the snark shelter, Lizards!

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon -- new word alert!!!!!

Snark shelter - where Lizards hide from attacks from the MMs (and TTTs for the faint of heart).

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Also, why is Britney not getting an Emmy nod a "snub"? Saw this somewhere today...I'm glad she seems to be pulling herself together, but I don't think doing a good job on two guest spots necessarily translates to "you deserve an award".

Posted by: Bawlmer again | July 7, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Bawlmer's right! They're heeeere.

Lizards, form orderly ranks and proceed into the Snark Shelter, as advided by our Snark Shelter Safety Officer, and await the all-clear signal.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Sunday Meets Tuesday.

HOST AT PARTY: "Sunday Urban, Tuesday Weld. Tuesday Weld, Sunday Urban."

TUESDAY WELD: Sunday? Born on a Sunday?

SUNDAY URBAN: No, Monday. You?

TUESDAY WELD: Friday.

CRUSOE'S MAN FRIDAY: Tuesday?

TUESDAY WELD: No, me Friday, her Monday.

SUNDAY URBAN: No, me Sunday, you Tuesday, him Friday.

JACK WEBB: The name's Friday. Joe Friday.

Posted by: byoolin could go on all week. | July 7, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Are you sure? You sound interested in his boyzillian! I guess Beckham and his package is your preference.

Posted by: James from the Block | July 7, 2008 11:29 AM


I'm sure there many of us, including Curmudgeon, who would like examine the results of Beckham's boyzillian.

Posted by: Sunnydaze | July 7, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

TO: ep

Done! thanks for being a lert (lerts are none too common now-a-days).

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

Just took a look at Liz's comment box -- just stay away the MMs have moved in. This side seems to be a pretty safe snark shelter.

Found this item when I went to look at Pam Anderson:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/07/somethings-just-write-themselves/

the caption above the photo had me laughing.

and BTW - Pam Anderson in person does indeed look like she's been "rode hard and put away wet" -- she spends a lot of time in the make up and hair chair. I would not have recognized her at the time were it not for the fake boobs, and Kid Rock on her.

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Just took a look at Liz's comment box -- just stay away the MMs have moved in. This side seems to be a pretty safe snark shelter.

Found this item when I went to look at Pam Anderson:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/07/07/somethings-just-write-themselves/

the caption above the photo had me laughing.

and BTW - Pam Anderson in person does indeed look like she's been "rode hard and put away wet" -- she spends a lot of time in the make up and hair chair. I would not have recognized her at the time were it not for the fake boobs, and Kid Rock on her.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Sorry for the double post - foolishly, I'm trying to get work done! What was I thinking?!

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I just took a look at the Tina Turner picture, then I researched her age. She is George Carlin's favorite number: 69. Tina Turner is only two years younger than George Carlin, and not only is she quite alive, she's lookin' to be a pretty fine 69.

I strongly disagree with Tina's choice of clothing. However, when one gets to be a certain AARP-age, one feels occasionally entitled to say eff-it to high fashion.

Her cosmetic enhancements notwithstanding, I wonder how many of us will make it to 69 -- the age -- much less look that good.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

It's now official:

Diddy is a Back Door Man.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

I think Sunday is cute. Could always use the nickname Sunny. The only thing is she'll be inadvertently hearing her name for the rest of her life. She might get a little immune to it.

Posted by: Sigh | July 7, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

You know, this is not a phrase you hear every day but, that Bozo wasn't MY Bozo.

MY Bozo was Dick Dyzel, the gentleman that also played Capt. 20 and still inhabits the coffin of Count Gore De Vol, the horror movie host from Channel 20 back in the day before it was the CW or UPN or whatever the heck it is now.

Here's a blast from the past for you locals of a certain age:

http://www.captain20.com/

And here's Count Gore's site:

http://countgore.com


Posted by: Bored @ work | July 7, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

Will there be snacks in the snark shelter? Otherwise, I need to grab lunch before getting in line.

And who's in charge of entertainment? Those MMs are relentless. We could be down there for a loooong time.

Posted by: epony | July 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

the cosmetic work done on tina turner does not look weird or phoney baloney, like so many others. she's beautiful inside and out and could wear a burlap sack and still look stunning. she's the best.

countdown until amy winehouse checks out permanently begins now.............

nicole richie is a twit. why do i even know her name and did not know where our car keys were for 1 week? husband made an unhappy face.

long ago, after my hairdresser colored my hair, i went to see my mother who said "you look like bozo". i said "bozo"? and she said, "yes, you know, bozo...". i informed her i well knew who bozo was. leave it to a mother to cut to the chase. now she and bozo can converse in heaven about the current state of my hair color.

Posted by: janet thinks tina turner rocks the universe | July 7, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

"If you have beautiful and strong hair, then you're successful with women." -- The strong-haired George Clooney to InTouch magazine

---
George, your feud with Fabio is getting tiresome.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

"Sunday Rose"? I was hoping for "Sub".

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

i remember Count Gore De Val...LOL. Did anybody watch Ranger Hal? Romper Room? I remember wanting desperately to be on Romper Room.

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

i hope my legs look as good as Tina's when I'm pushing 70....

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Romper Room?!

Only good do-bees got to go on Romper Room. (The don't-bees stayed behind and trashed the Green Room.)

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Yes, snacks for the Snark Shelter.

And a juice bar, tanning bed, Hi-Def TV, all-band radio, live music, those drinks with little umbrellas and hunks of fruit on a stick, life sized posters of . . .

you know, home-away-from-home

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

byoolin,
guess that's why i never made it.... :)

i always thought of Count Gore DeVal whenever I saw the SCTV skit on "Super Scary Monster Theater..." My fav was the 3-D Pancake House -- John Candy would say "Want some PANcakes?" and swing a plate of pancakes back and forth at the camera....

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

"Tonight on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: 'Dr. Tongue's 3-D House Of Stewardesses'!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLxDGG5J2lo

Synopses of all MCHT episodes: http://www.sctvguide.ca/programs/monster.htm

Posted by: byoolin hopes to play Woody Tobias Jr. in the biopic. | July 7, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

I must not be awake either, as I saw "Andrew Firestone" followed by "Bozo the Clown". Coincidence? Heh.

Oh, Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. Your first two kids have normal names. What the hell happened? You couldn't name the poor girl "Rose Sunday" instead of "Sunday Rose"? Sunday?!!?

I'm afraid to look at the Jim Carrey photo. Assuming it's not blocked here at work, I'm scared it might be another hairy Borat in the neon green banana hammock ... and I still have PTSD from seeing that.

Posted by: Californian | July 7, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

"Will there be snacks in the snark shelter? Otherwise, I need to grab lunch before getting in line."
The snark shelter will be stocked with the finest freeze-dried cuisine available. It will also have a cellar with enough booze to float a battleship and an endless supply of limes to ward off scurvy. Fresh mutant vegetables and fruit will be offered as frequently as possible. This week's special is a locally-grown tomato the size of a VW bus.

Posted by: Bawlmer needs to fire up the chansaw and harvest a lettuce leaf. | July 7, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

SHHH! Be very quiet here, and maybe the MMs will stay over there obsessing with their parenting skills, or lack thereof.

I'll bring all of the fresh mint from the garden for our mojitos, unfortunately, I'm out of rum, so hopefully I won't have to wait that long at the bar.

I also have some girl scout cookies.

Let's not let Amy Winehouse in because I'm very afraid she might smell really bad!

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Let's not let Amy Winehouse in because I'm very afraid she might smell really bad!

Ditto for Matthew McConaughey.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

If the quality of one's olfactory aura is a determinant of whether a Lizard can have access to the Snark Shelter, I take it that I'll have to wait outside, even I recently (just last week) showered.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, as the Snark Shelter Security Officer, you must remember to retract the rescue ladder and slam shut the Snark Shelter hatch as soon as all the REAL Lizards are accounted for.

Then, BREAK OUT THE HORSE DOOVERS.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

What manner of "variety show" will the Osbourne family host? Will it be a showcase of the wide variety of bleeped language the can generate?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

That was presumptuous of me to assume that I could be sheltered from the MMs with the regulars here.

Sasquatch, I am sorry for offending. Honestly, I don't think you would smell as bad as some of the celebs. At least you know how to shower.

BTW, to the smelly celebs - a lesson from camping/backpacking: if you can smell how bad you smell, you really smell 10 times worse than you think you do.

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Allegedly Clark Gable had really bad breath, from not properly caring for his dentures (one can only imagine what his original teeth had been like).

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

This discussion is making me happy that the whole "Smell-o-vision" thing never really caught on.....

Posted by: Groovis | July 7, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

anonymous, you are welcome to join us! Just bring me three boxes of Thin Mints and a pitcher of mojitos. I may also ask you to help me hose off Sasquatch before we welcome him in.
So, as Snark Shelter Security Officer, can I request armaments? I would like a pack of trained attack cockroaches and a shotgun loaded with platinum-tipped shells.

Posted by: Everyone laughed a Bawlmer when she taught "Duck and Cover"...but who's laughing now?! | July 7, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

I'll also need a stereo system and a copy of "Ride of the Valkyries".

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 7, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

I went over to the "OP" blog today just for fun and I got all excited because the title was "Raising Lefties." Then I found out they were talking about which hand you write with. Booorrrrrinnnnggggg. I was hoping for something a little more revolutionary......

Posted by: G.M. | July 7, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Not sure if this will make Curmudgeon more or less of a fan of Beckham:

justjared.buzznet.com/2008/07/01/david-beckham-fish-breath

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

If we do decide to hose down Sasquatch before we let him in, can we also make sure he dries off first; because wet fur in a small space is not the most appealing scenario.

Posted by: Dorkus M. | July 7, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

"Raising Lefties"

Makes me think of Bloom County's take on "left-wingers."

And I would actually be interested in the discussion if it were lefties of the political variety.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Mouse - that's what I was hoping for. What would the advise be?

Posted by: G.M. | July 7, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch,

We'll wash you nicely. I'll bring some organic shampoo, and a nice scrub brush. I don't have a hair dryer, so someone else will have to provide that.
********
Not sure if this will make Curmudgeon more or less of a fan of Beckham:

justjared.buzznet.com/2008/07/01/david-beckham-fish-breath

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 1:41 PM
--
B, Mr. Lurker once said that there are many beautiful people out there. Many become quite unattractive once they open their mouths.

I'll just continue to pretend that Becks is a silent type that doesn't say anything unless it's truly important. And when he does speak, he has fresh breath, and doesn't sound like a girl. It won't take my imagination to look at him and see he's SCHMOKIN HOT!

Also, since he boosted underweat sales, should be concerned that there may have been folks in the UK that were running free and loose prior to the ads?

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Californian - Rose Sunday is just a bit too much like Hey-suess, no?

Posted by: atb | July 7, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

RE: Becks and his ads....

It reminds me of our Latin discussion:

Semper Ubi Sub Ubi - "always wear underwear"

Posted by: Groovis | July 7, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

For me, the key to being raised a left-winger was having a card-carrying Marxist parent. That definitely helped.

For my son, we've been focused on other, more mundane things to this point, but I figure it can't hurt to be in a leftist, lesbian household. Then there's the atheist parenting group we belong to--not necessarily leftist, but it tends to lean that way.

My partner and I have always said he'll get back at us by becoming an evangelical conservative.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Oh, everyone's over here! Excellent. Sunday Urban also has a U2 anthem about, urban warfare? So that's something. U2's never written a song about me that I know of.

Posted by: h3 | July 7, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Guys thanks for the clean-up offers, but it's okay if I stay outside the shelter. I brought on the plague of MMs, and I don't really clean up that well. If you guys toss out the occasional tidbit (just not Cheetos that have been pulled out from between the couch cushions), I can withstand the MMs. Maybe my aroma will discourage some of them from besieging the Snark Shelter. Think of me as being the Lizards au naturel chemical weapon. And that doesn't begin to count my looks.

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Mouse: I went to college with a card-carrying member of the Communist party. We used to drink Old Milwaukee and argue a lot. Now my old friend is a dentist in New Jersey - and he belongs to a country club. The whole thing just makes me feel old.

Posted by: Groovis | July 7, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

mouse, I had one schoolmate who got even with his peacenik mother by dropping out of college to enlist in the military. She said it was so sad when they sent home his trunkful of civilian clothing from basic training.

For a Washington Postie's view of growing up leftie, see Carl Bernstein's "Loyalties: A Son's Memoir" (out of print, but check your local library). Spoiler alert: Carl was trying to figure out whether his parents were actual Commies in the '40s and '50s.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 7, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

"Think of me as being the Lizards au naturel chemical weapon. And that doesn't begin to count my looks."


Aww, Sas, you're being much too hard on yourself. We'll think of you as our shaggy Matthew McConaughy, okay?

"Stand back, MMs, or the cryptid raises his arms!"

Posted by: epony | July 7, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

I thought we agreed to not use "Lizards" anymore. It sounds stupid and idiotic.

Posted by: regular commentator | July 7, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch - my heeroooo!

It makes me think of that sceme in the Wizard of Oz where the Lion is getting shampood, styled, blow-dried, manicured and pedicured.

We can do that for you, Sasquatch, once the coast is clear.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 2:36 PM | Report abuse

I'll just continue to pretend that Becks is a silent type that doesn't say anything unless it's truly important. It won't take my imagination to look at him and see he's SCHMOKIN HOT!

Also, since he boosted underweat sales, should be concerned that there may have been folks in the UK that were running free and loose prior to the ads?


Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 7, 2008 2:00 PM

he can run free and loose with me any ol' time!

byoolin and sas - maybe not.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

I once had one of those assignments to write to an elected official. I wrote to Reagan about his administration's misplaced priorities in developing SDI. A classmate wrote to him about how she liked horses. She got a signed glossy of the president on a horse. I received a letter from a secretary and copies of recent speeches to "correct my misperceptions."

Somewhere along the way my fire has quieted a bit. No letters to the current president--though I did move to Canada for a few years.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

I thought we agreed to not use "Lizards" anymore. It sounds stupid and idiotic.

Posted by: regular commentator | July 7, 2008 2:35 PM

I thought a couple people complained about "Lizards" and everybody else just ignored them.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Mouse:

I wonder of Ronald "Wonder Boy" Regan would have liked our ponies?

(I call him wonder boy because he was always wondering . . . )

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

mouse, why'd you move back? (Not that we're not glad to have ya, but just wondering why you didn't wait until January 23, 2009 or so.)

Posted by: Californian | July 7, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer,

Are there cheetos in the snark shelter? I need to make a run to the store before stopping by.

Posted by: petal | July 7, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

petal, I'm guessing jalapeno cheetos and pop tarts.

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 7, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

We moved back to be closer to family, to be settled in some place for when my son starts kindergarten (and we chose a location with good schools), plus we were running into some problems with the medical system there. The original plan was to hang out there until after the next election, but the other stuff brought us back sooner. And of course, we managed to move up there just as they elected a conservative government (still doesn't hold a candle to here, though).

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

I thought a couple people complained about "Lizards" and everybody else just ignored them.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:39 PM

I think some of us wish you DIDN'T move back mouse. Go away!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

"Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Pancakes" is a CLASSIC. My siblings and I can't get together for breakfast anymore because all we do is say, "would you like some more...pancakes" and wave plates back and forth at each other.

Posted by: td misses sctv terribly | July 7, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

I thought a couple people complained about "Lizards" and everybody else just ignored them.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:39 PM

I think some of us wish you DIDN'T move back mouse. Go away!

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 3:07 PM


Now, now. Behave. Mouse is correct. We ignored them.

(I was going to say, "Mouse is right" but then thought better of it.)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

td - Ooooohhhh....scary......

Posted by: Groovis also misses SCTV | July 7, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to the magic of the interwebs, snarking can be done across international lines. So shipping me back to Canada wouldn't get rid of me here.

(But, hey, my first anonymous blowback. Makes me feel like more of a legitimate Lizard.)

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Five weeks after he underwent surgery on a malignant brain tumor, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.) is said by his wife to be recovering well as he copes with radiation and chemotherapy treatment, according to the Associated Press.

The AP obtained an email sent out by Vicki Kennedy last week to family and friends updating them on the 76-year-old senator's condition. She writes that her husband has been able to exercise and sail on his schooner at their home on Cape Cod in between trips to the hospital for treatment.

"The only side effect is fatigue, and that word has never been in Teddy's vocabulary before," Vicki Kennedy wrote. "But he's learning to cope with it. As I have mentioned to many of you, he is tackling cancer with his trademark grit and determination, and he is doing everything he needs to do to regain his strength and health. ... He's making calls, staying in touch with his office staff and colleagues and still pushing all the issues he cares about."

Kennedy has been absent from the Senate since mid-May, when he was taken to the hospital following a seizure and was subsequently diagnosed with a malignant tumor. He underwent surgery on June 2 to remove the tumor. The operation was called a success by Kennedy's doctors, though his future prognosis remains uncertain as he undergoes radiation and chemotherapy.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/capitol-briefing/2008/07/report_kennedy_recovery_going.html#comments

Posted by: Report: Kennedy Coping Well With Treatment | July 7, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

For those who don't like the term 'Lizard" think about where it comes from. Liz is our beloved Queen ("Liz") and we are our her subjects ("ards") Hence, Liz-ards.

You don't want to know how long it took me to realize that.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

For those who don't like the term 'Lizard" think about where it comes from. Liz is our beloved Queen ("Liz") and we are our her subjects ("ards") Hence, Liz-ards.

You don't want to know how long it took me to realize that.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 3:31 PM

I'm sorry I agree with the above poster. "Lizards" is just stupid, no matter how you come up with the term.

Posted by: LTL | July 7, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

ep, it took Phoebe several seasons to figure out the pun behind "Central Perk," the "Friends" coffehouse.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly, poll question:

Lizards or
No Lizards.

I like Lizards and unless someone has a better, more clever name, keep yer yapper shut.

Posted by: They Call Me Ms. Lizard. | July 7, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

sctv was awesome! a part of me still wants to toss a tv out of a high-rise window...

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

btw, i was just over at the other thread... still BKD (throwing that around now that i know what it means :p )

Posted by: b | July 7, 2008 3:42 PM | Report abuse

Boy oh boy...

"Talking w/ Ali Lohan"

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/ny-etalil0704,0,5161278.story

I like lizards. Since we can't have ponies.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | July 7, 2008 3:48 PM | Report abuse

Just for the record, I was not objecting to the use of the term Lizard.

heck, I don't care what you call us as long as it is not late for dinner. Which does not happen since I cook for myself. Right now in my life, that seriously sucks. Send food.

Posted by: ep | July 7, 2008 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Boy oh boy...

"Talking w/ Ali Lohan"

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/ny-etalil0704,0,5161278.story

egads. although i DID tune in to see Living Lohan last night and it was a repeat. what can i say. i'm addicted to trainwrecks.

Posted by: farmhand, IA | July 7, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

I like Lizards and unless someone has a better, more clever name, keep yer yapper shut.

Posted by: They Call Me Ms. Lizard. | July 7, 2008 3:40 PM


What about something related to Italian football players? Or Beckham?

Posted by: James from the Block | July 7, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Besides, if we change the name now, we'll have to sell off all the Lizard assets.

It boggles the mind.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

I like Lizards and ep I right there with ya when it comes to cooking for yourself. It sucks.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 7, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

Q. Why did you and your mom decide to do the show?
A. The tabloids were saying so many bad things about my family, and we wanted to respond. We wanted to show people that we're a normal family.

"We're a normal family." Man, serious delusions there.

Posted by: td is appalled at those lohan people | July 7, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

That Geico gekko is one hawt lizard!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Hey! HEY!
Lizard... Celebritologist... snarktopus... whatever. Play gently with each other, or you'll find yourselves swabbing the shelter floors on half rations! And if this nastiness keeps up, there will be no flavored Cheetos for ANYBODY.

Posted by: Bawlmer fires her boomstick into the ceiling. | July 7, 2008 4:10 PM | Report abuse

Also, I think "Raving Snarktopus" would be a great name for a punk band.

Posted by: Bawlmer again. | July 7, 2008 4:12 PM | Report abuse

just want 2 say thank u agayn 4 not being mean about my bff linsey and my 2nd mom dina.

-your felow lizard! LOL!

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 7, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

So he's not a footballer, but ya gotta like this cyclist's name: Lizuarte Martins.
http://www.diegoweb.net/tempo7/tug12.jpg

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:22 PM | Report abuse

What about something related to Italian football players? Or Beckham?

Posted by: James from the Block | July 7, 2008 3:54 PM

------------------

Oh hellz no. In fact, can we stop with the European futbol players all together?

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 7, 2008 4:23 PM | Report abuse

But is the plural of Snarktopus Snarktopi or Snarktopuses?

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

luvlinsey, the only reason to celebrate no Lohan news is that we usually don't have to hear from you. Get the hint?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

mouse, don't forget it could also be Snarktopa, if it's 4th declension neuter.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

No, it'd be Snarktopora (plural follows rule for corpus/corpora).

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:29 PM | Report abuse

I suspect some here might balk at the mention of "neuter." But 4th declension masculine/feminine would give us Snarktopus (with a long -us). Using the more Greek origin of "-pus" would give us Snarktopodes.

All that said, I feel that the precedent has been set for "Lizards." And imagine all the rewriting of the Glossary that would be required.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Liz,

You may want to append the Celebritlogy Dictionary to the blog. I peeked over at the other post and there are a couple of questions about BKD.

Posted by: petal | July 7, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Snarktopornorific?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

Proper Nacked?

Posted by: Dorkus M. | July 7, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Oh hellz no. In fact, can we stop with the European futbol players all together?

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 7, 2008 4:23 PM


Why? Just because you dont appreciate these amazing specimens doesn't mean the rest of have to stop. Geez.

Carm Down!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:42 PM | Report abuse

I really like Snarktopus but Lizard is so much easier to type.

Posted by: jes | July 7, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madonna was "an affair of the heart" - not "sexual infidelity" - according to Cynthia Rodriguez's lawyer.

Still, the baseball star's relationship with the singer "was the last straw" before the Yankee slugger's wife filed for divorce Monday, her Houston attorney, Earle Lilly
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20210715,00.html

Posted by: Madge wasn't knockin' boots, yeah right | July 7, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Hmm...who would I contact about a dead link in the archive? The Morning Mix from May 4 seems to have disappeared (link leads to a blank page, not even a 404 error).
And mouse, I would say that "snarktopi" is the plural, but I am neither a linguist nor a cephalopod.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 7, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

no, we did not agree.

I thought we agreed to not use "Lizards" anymore. It sounds stupid and idiotic.

Posted by: regular commentator | July 7, 2008 2:35 PM

Posted by: only Liz can outlaw a word and | July 7, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

I will not carm down and you can't make me.

Posted by: jake e. poo | July 7, 2008 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Ringo Starr brings peace campaign to Chicago: Fans flock to Hard Rock Hotel to fulfill Beatle's birthday wish of 'love'
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-ringo-starr-birthday-webjul08,0,7254193.story

Outside Chicago's Hard Rock Hotel on Monday, ex-Beatles drummer Ringo Starr glanced at his watch and threw his hands in the air.

"Twelve o'clock--peace and love!" he yelled, flashing double peace signs with his fingers.

A crowd of about 300 lining both sides of South Water Street for a solid block erupted in cheers, then serenaded him with a rendition of "Happy Birthday." The embrace of his message for the day, simply "peace and love," was his 68th birthday wish, he said.

"It's a fantasy, and it's a dream I have," Starr said, "that one minute, one day, one month, one year, everyone will go peace and love."

Spokeswoman Kathleen Henson said the hotel had arranged a celebration honoring Starr's birthday a few weeks back, but when planners heard the drummer would be in Chicago, they asked him to attend. Starr is on tour with his All-Starr band and will play in Chicago on Sunday.

Perfect Peace bakery, which was celebrating its first birthday this month, baked about 300 miniature cupcakes and a sheet cake bearing the Hard Rock logo in honor of Starr.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Tina's 69, Ringo just turned 68. The world is going to he!!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

I thought a couple people complained about "Lizards" and everybody else just ignored them.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 2:39 PM

I think some of us wish you DIDN'T move back mouse. Go away!

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 3:07 PM


The ones that count like that mouse is here. You can take your own advice and leave at anytime.

Posted by: no, the mouse stays put, providing that she wants to | July 7, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

The things one learns when procrastinating:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octopus#Terminology

Posted by: mouse, who will figure out a way to work this into her comps exams | July 7, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Or, "Snarktopae".

It's kind of a relief to know we don't have to break-down and sell off or auction the buffing parlor that we built especially for Sasquatch; the pancake machine that was leased for the SCTV fans; the hard hat, clipboard, and whistle (with Lizard logo) for the Snark Shelter Security Officer that we ordered for Bawlmer; the Trojan Lizard, the rescue ladder, and other malfeasance toys; the ice rink for Byoolin, the ponies, etc, etc, etc.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 4:59 PM | Report abuse

mouse, someone could do a whole doctoral dissertation on the glossaries of online communities.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

I think some of us wish you DIDN'T move back mouse. Go away!

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 3:07 PM
-------------------

No, you go away anonymous poster.

Posted by: I second that mouse stays | July 7, 2008 5:01 PM | Report abuse

Even this anonymous poster likes mouse!

Posted by: Call me anonymouse | July 7, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

I vote the mouse stays.

Also, I kinda like the term lizards. I ran out of paint screen printing that puppy.

Posted by: petal | July 7, 2008 5:08 PM | Report abuse

on a tee shirt.

Posted by: petal, who for the 100th time really needs to use the preview | July 7, 2008 5:09 PM | Report abuse

I like "Lizards". Lizards are cool and fast and can stare without blinking. That can't be bad.
Byoo, do they have jalapeno Cheetoes in WV? I may drive over the line.

Posted by: Angela | July 7, 2008 5:10 PM | Report abuse

As alex (?) can attest, Jalapeño Cheetos are nasty. Beware the Cheetos!

Posted by: td didn't like the way they affected him either | July 7, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

They're not celebrating Ringo Starr's birthday in Bagdhad and Kabul today.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 5:20 PM | Report abuse

"I ran out of paint screen printing that puppy." - Posted by: petal

*****

There must be an easier way to get a Dalmatian.

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 5:20 PM | Report abuse

They're not celebrating Ringo Starr's birthday in Bagdhad and Kabul today.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 5:20 PM

How would you know?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 5:22 PM | Report abuse

Affair of the heart. Oh. Okay. Is that what they're calling it now?

I used to call it an emotional affair. Six of one ...

I like mouse!

Posted by: Californian | July 7, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

"Lizards are cool and fast and can stare without blinking."

Next tactic to be tried with the MMs--weirding them out with our unblinking stares.

Though I generally prefer running away quickly. I gave up following the comments for this afternoon's post and will return there in the cover of night to see the final wreckage.

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

"I ran out of paint screen printing that puppy." - Posted by: petal

*****

There must be an easier way to get a Dalmatian.

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 5:20 PM

Posted by: petal, I'm taking suggestions | July 7, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

"Byoo, do they have jalapeno Cheetoes in WV?" - Posted by: Angela


I'll investigate and report back. If you're in the market for something hotter, Sheetz stores carry Blair's brand habañero-flavoured chips, usually near the checkouts (i.e., separate from the regular chips). They've got some [burn-the-back-of-your-throat-if-you're-not -careful] heat to 'em.

td, alex: I can't imagine anything with jalapeño being bad.

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Is anyone else thinking about that Super Bowl Thriller commercial? Lizards is fine.

Posted by: Sigh | July 7, 2008 5:26 PM | Report abuse

RE: "Affair of the heart. Oh. Okay. Is that what they're calling it now? I used to call it an emotional affair. Six of one ... "

Isn't this the kind of thing Gene W talks about as being ok for a married person?


Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 7, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

For 5:22 pm:
Correction:

They're not celebrating Ringo Starr's birthday in Kabul or Islamabad...

---
A crowd of about 300 lining both sides of South Water Street for a solid block erupted in cheers, then serenaded him with a rendition of "Happy Birthday." The embrace of his message for the day, simply "peace and love," was his 68th birthday wish, he said.

"It's a fantasy, and it's a dream I have," Starr said, "that one minute, one day, one month, one year, everyone will go peace and love."

Spokeswoman Kathleen Henson said the hotel had arranged a celebration honoring Starr's birthday a few weeks back, but when planners heard the drummer would be in Chicago, they asked him to attend. Starr is on tour with his All-Starr band and will play in Chicago on Sunday.

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 4:52 PM
-----
Front page of Washingtonpost.com:

At Least 40 Killed in Afghan Blast
Washington Post Foreign Service
Monday, July 7, 2008; 4:29 PM
KABUL, July 7: Suicide attack on Indian Embassy prompts swift, sharp condemnation from Afghan government.

More Than 12 Killed in Pakistan Bombing
Monday, July 7, 2008; 11:01 AM
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan, July 6 -- More than a dozen people were killed in Pakistan's capital Sunday when a suicide bomber detonated explosives near a crowd commemorating a deadly government-led raid on a radical mosque here last year, according to police.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

re: substitutes for Jalapeno Cheetos

Zapp's Cajun Crawtators! Used to eat them all the time. Can't so much anymore. They're easiest to find in Louisiana, but there was a Cajun place in the DC area that carried them. Also:
http://www.cajuncreations.com/detail.aspx?ID=292

Posted by: mouse | July 7, 2008 5:35 PM | Report abuse

Don't look now, but Celebritology has made Google's list of articles under "Entertainment"

http://news.google.com/nwshp?tab=wn&topic=e

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 7, 2008 5:40 PM | Report abuse

I don't post often but I read this daily. Today y'all made me laugh at would have been a really bad day at work.

Posted by: no_bs_4me | July 7, 2008 5:47 PM | Report abuse

Always late to the party. . .

Someone mentioned Romper Room earlier. Does anyone remember when Miss Sherri went to Sweden to have an abortion because she'd taken thalidomide when she was pregnant? I don't remember how old I was, or even if I was watching the show at the actual time this was all transpiring, but I remember hearing all about it when I was just a wee sprout and could barely grasp any of the concepts or why it was all so earth-shattering. (Well, that's still pretty much the case for most things with me, really.)

Pam Anderson and Criss Angel? Gawd. Is Adnan or Sam Lutfi next on the downward spiral?

Do we really need a snark shelter? I thought we had Janet's Frankie doing guard duty over the blog now. (Frankie is a good dog, but can remove dingleberries from evildoers with surgical precision, if required.)

For the poll, I like Lizards. It's easier than writing Celebritologists.

Posted by: alex | July 7, 2008 6:02 PM | Report abuse

Barfishious - describes the type of thoughts one has when contemplating Verne Troyer's sex video
Bawlmer - the Lizard Snark Shelter Safety Officer
Booby Kennedy Day (BKD) - a bodacious afternoon at the Celebritology Hut
1) In Addition to All Capitals and Exclamation Points, the Overuse of Capitalization of Words, Shall Henceforth Also Be a Factor for Determining Craziness.
2) The use of numbers in place of words (e.g., "2" for "two", "4" for "four") shall be a marker for consideration of BKD status
3) The "random" use of "quotation marks" for "no apparently good reason" shall be a "marker" for "consideration" of BKD status (Byoolin won't even mention the use of the word "toodles")
Snark shelter - where Lizards hide from attacks from the MMs (and TTTs for the faint of heart) and eat snacks

Posted by: one for you, too | July 7, 2008 6:04 PM | Report abuse

As alex (?) can attest, Jalapeño Cheetos are nasty. Beware the Cheetos!

Posted by: td didn't like the way they affected him either | July 7, 2008 5:16 PM

**************

They were tasty at first. I wolfed the bag down with a some noxious (diet) soft drink and still wanted more. Then something started to happen and those Cheetos underwent an unpleasant chemical metamorphosis in my stomach. If I ever eat them again, it would have to be in a very small quantity-smaller than the 2.75 oz bag even. (And this was the only thing I'd eaten that day.)

Posted by: alex needed medical assistance | July 7, 2008 6:08 PM | Report abuse

alex, maybe it was the diet pop that did you in.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 7, 2008 6:27 PM | Report abuse

alex, maybe it was the diet pop that did you in.

Posted by: | July 7, 2008 6:27 PM

********

Yeah, it was something pretty bad--like Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper! But td also had ill effects without the evil brew in combo. I think they are just high-powered and need to be carefully ingested in especially small doses.

Posted by: alex | July 7, 2008 6:44 PM | Report abuse

I don't believe Linda Hogan FOR ONE SECOND. SHE HAS SNAPPED

Posted by: Kevin | July 7, 2008 6:58 PM | Report abuse

Seriously, Kevin--who would even want to stalk Linda Hogan?

I initially thought the divorce was some kind of ruse to somehow shield their assets from Nick Bollea's family. Now, I just think they're as sick of each other as we are of them.

Posted by: alex | July 7, 2008 7:02 PM | Report abuse

Even I would not stalk Linda Hogan...unless I had mistakenly eaten some of those funky magic mushrooms.

Where did Walt Disney find his supply of peyote and mushrooms, anyway?

Posted by: Sasquatch | July 7, 2008 7:12 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, YOU try jalapeño Cheetos, wait 24 hours, then report back.

Posted by: td warned you | July 7, 2008 7:53 PM | Report abuse

Well put, 6:04; I think those are excellent nominating criteria for a BKD.
And I do love "snarktopus", but not as much as I love "Lizard", which is easier to spell and makes marginally more sense. Snarktopus might be better used as follows.

"Snarktopus"- The primordial being that awakens when the Celebritology posters are challenged to verbal combat through ridicule, personal attacks, or attempts at overly serious conversation. Named for the many arms of reprisal that will rise up and overpower all but the most stalwart and/or insane opponent. Related to both Cthulu and the Kraken. Poster sasquatch is rumored to have met the Snarktopus at a cryptozoology conference in Atlantis in the mid 70s.

Posted by: Bawlmer may have read too much Lovecraft as a young 'un. | July 7, 2008 7:56 PM | Report abuse

"Does anyone remember when Miss Sherri went to Sweden to have an abortion because she'd taken thalidomide when she was pregnant?" - Posted by: alex

****

Miss Sherri was slightly hard of hearing and though she was being a Good Do Me.

Posted by: byoolin also paid for her Swedish lessons. (And then she was bitten by a møøse.) | July 7, 2008 8:23 PM | Report abuse

"byoolin, YOU try jalapeño Cheetos, wait 24 hours, then report back." - Posted by: td warned you

********

The experiment is underway.

Posted by: byoolin | July 7, 2008 8:25 PM | Report abuse

The experiment is underway.
***********

I anxiously await with baited breath. Or is it bated breath? Baited sounds a little fishy. Which would NOT be a good flavor for Cheetos "Now with anchovies!"

I do however plan to make my own excursion into jalapeno Cheeto eating without Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper. Thanks for the substitution recommendations. I believe I tried the habanero chips once...they were great but it took me all day to eat the tiny bag of them.

Posted by: Angela | July 7, 2008 9:02 PM | Report abuse

Amy Winehouse did drugs in rehab? How can that be?

I like being a Liz-ard. I agree with the post that asks if someone can come up with something snappier....

Love the Snark Shelter. Welcome, enjoy your stay. Did anyone remember to round up the ponies for safe keeping?

Borat NEEDS a boyzillian. Bad.

Posted by: ripariandweller | July 8, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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