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Posted at 8:05 AM ET, 07/31/2008

Morning Mix: Rosie O'Donnell Gives Up Blogging... For Now

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Rosie O'Donnell takes a break from blogging... Barack Obama bashes Ludacris's McCain-critical rap... John McCain compares Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in new ad... Attorney says Britney Spears doesn't want contact with Sam Lutfi... Kathy Griffin swears off plastic surgery... Alicia Keys and Jack White team up on Bond theme... Jonathan Rhys Meyers says celebs should stop whining about attention... Jennifer Aniston fits right in on John Mayer tour, say pals... Alleged Shia LaBeouf crash wreckage appears on eBay... Ali Lohan accidentally auditions for porn director... Amy Winehouse gets home delivery of blood?... Cheech and Chong reunite for comedy tour... Fergie cast as prostitute in "Nine"... Law firm says Ed McMahon owes $275,000... Wyclef Jean sued by jeweler to the stars.

Rumor Mill: Britney Spears's father to stay in control through the end of the year... Elizabeth Taylor on life support, says National Enquirer... Tom Cruise's mother and sister move out, at Katie's insistence... Mike Myers writing fourth "Austin Powers" installment?... Johnny Depp to play the Riddler in next "Batman?"... Steve Carrell and Seth Rogen to team as new "Ghostbusters?"...

Chat Day: While biding your time waiting for this afternoon's 2 p.m. ET Celebritology Live chat, entertain yourself and your equally distracted co-workers with these album covers re-created entirely in Legos.

By Liz Kelly  | July 31, 2008; 8:05 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Dreaming of Brad Pitt Dollar Bills? The Latest in Celeb Memorabilia

Comments

"Kathy Griffin swears off plastic surgery"

It's hard to tighten that drum that is her face anymore, really, so sure, swear it off, Kathy. We've been enjoying that perpetually surprised look.

Posted by: td | July 31, 2008 8:32 AM | Report abuse

i caant beliieve those mean pepole did that to alli and dina. alli is a great classic actres who is going to win an oscar and gramy one day and they were all being meaan to her.

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 31, 2008 8:39 AM | Report abuse

"Mike Myers writing fourth "Austin Powers" installment" -- after "The Love Guru" debacle, where else to go but up? A Sprockets movie? Coffee Talk?

Well why not? The first three Austin Powers movies were SO DARN FUNNY. For about 20 seconds -- actually, I only saw the first one. And while I can pretty much sit through any movie, that one made me and my wife get up out of our seats at least three times to head for toward the exit.

Just when we'd had enough, another five-second bit of hilarity would come on-screen and we'd turn to each other and say, "See? it IS going to get better." But it never did.

And I used to LOVE Mike Myers! But at some point, he decided he knew what was funny and the rest of the world didn't. His comedic timing went way off around the point someone told him he was God.

Appearing on "Inside the Actors Studio" just nailed the coffin shut for me.

Posted by: td feels way too strongly about this apparently | July 31, 2008 8:39 AM | Report abuse

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is welcome at the CI Tiki Bar anytime. He sounds like a squared-away dude.

Posted by: methinks | July 31, 2008 8:42 AM | Report abuse

The first Austin Powers movie tickled the hell out of me. I like that 1960s British mod thing so all of the riffs on that and then the fish-out-of-water modern day bits were funny. The second one had its moments...the third, less so. And then I saw the original Casino Royale and the Derek Flint movies and recognized tons of the source material, all of which somehow seemed better. So...yeah, baby.

Posted by: 23112 | July 31, 2008 8:52 AM | Report abuse

From the article: So why is [Rosie] stopping now? "It gets to a point where it's too much. It's too draining," she says. "There's too much incoming of other people's opinions and I'm like, 'Okay, you know what? I'm gonna stop.' "

In other words, even HER ego can get bruised if enough people call out her BS. The funny thing is, her across-the-hall neighbor is that Julia Allison girl who also posted something last week about taking a break from blogging (although I don't think that'll stick).

Posted by: 23112 | July 31, 2008 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is welcomed anywhere at all on our island, as long as he dons his Velvet Goldmine getup once in a while...**Homer drooly noise**

"Amy Winehouse gets home delivery of blood," so many jokes & comments, so little time.

Posted by: Bored @ work | July 31, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

I'm back. Did you miss me, huh, huh, did ya?

Thanks for all the shout outs, especially 'Mudge who did not miss a day. It's over, that's all I can say. Although, may the son of the founder of a certain testing software company date Paris Hilton. I'm ready for my Nathan Fillon now.


Rosie will never shut up. There's a reason she and Tom Cruise are friends. Both are convinced the world cares about their uninformed opinions.

Posted by: ep | July 31, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Mike Myers writing fourth "Austin Powers" installment?..


For the love of god...noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Posted by: Stop the Madness | July 31, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

When the Jolie-Pitts gave baby Shiloh the middle name Nouvel (after French architect Jean Nouvel), did they know about this?

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92994481

"Recently, Nouvel won a competition for a big project in Las Vegas. It will be a 4,000-room hotel, with a casino, a convention center, a theater and a mammoth aquarium for sharks and whales. It's a grandiose French plan for an addition to the great American desert."

Oh sure, sharks and whales will fit right in with that desert environment. So green.

Posted by: hahahahahaha | July 31, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

Maybe Elizabeth Taylor ought to get her PDR enforced so we can get on with the obsequies.

It's been a too slow summer.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Ali Lohan's audition: Mistake, or honest assessment of her actual talent level?

Working titles for Austin Powers 4:

"Island of Dr. No, No! NO!"
"Goldsqueezer"
"Blunderball"
"For Noone's Eyes Only"
"A Third Was Not Enough"
"A View Of (Cinematic) Roadkill"


Posted by: Anonynonandon | July 31, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

The Wyclef story broke like three days ago. Liz, yo've really let success go to your head. Stop whinning about pleats and get something in on deadline.

Posted by: Deadlines | July 31, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

Is Sam Lufti's first name actually Osama?
Wow.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 31, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Hrm, so that's what Sam was short for. Well, certainly wouldn't help Good Ol' 99 Luftiballoons in a federal circuit court, by any means....

Posted by: Anonynonandon | July 31, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

I think you mean "whining," Deadlines. Just wanted to point that out since misspellings kind of take the sting out of flames.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | July 31, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

I think we need to send these "new people" (i.e., trolls) to The Lizard Academy of Snarkology for a course in the correct way to do our thing.

The nastiness is getting tiresome.

"Whinning" indeed!

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

John McCain compares Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Would John McCain recognize anyone mentioned in the Morning Mix today if it didn't include the names Ed McMahon, Elizabeth Taylor and Tom Cruise?


"TMZ.com reports that Ali's mom Dina "went nuclear" when she got word" that her daughter had auditioned for that porn director. Don't worry, Dina, there will be plenty more casting couches in your and your daughter's future.


Anonynonandon, love the working titles.


Are there *really* scooters running around in London traffic delivering boxes containing blood? Maybe Amy Crackhouse just ordered takeout from the "URGENT BLOOD" restaurant. I hear their tandoori chicken is excellent.


Hey, Hollywood, here's a thought: instead of just picking movies at random to remake, why not put a process in place. Starting now, remake EVERY MOVIE EVER MADE, in the order in which they were made. Imagine if 2008's remakes - sorry, "films inspired by" - were reimagined versions of 1908's movies.

Posted by: byoolin has to go to ameeting now. Grrr. | July 31, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Maybe Deadline meant "Whinnying" as sly p*ny reference.

Posted by: M Street | July 31, 2008 10:00 AM | Report abuse

Byoo, I'm sure there already have been. How do you think Lindsey keeps getting roles? Looks like Ali decided to get a jump start on her true calling.

Amy Winehouse being a vampire would explain quite a few things actually.

Posted by: EricS | July 31, 2008 10:15 AM | Report abuse

For what it's worth, Ludacris didn't just go after McCain, he also went after Hillary and Jesse Jackson, and speaking as a fan of rap, he SUCKED at it too. No flow, no wordplay worth a damn, and the beat was so canned it was worthless. Obama probably has a full-time staffer trying to keep a lid on his "supporters" but geez, Barack, call Luda out for being a hack while you're at it.

Posted by: 23112 | July 31, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

I have the perfect casting for the next Riddler. David Hyde Pierce. He's got the stature and voice and if he plays the role the way that it was written for Batman: The Animated Series, it'll be pure cunning menace.

Posted by: 23112 | July 31, 2008 10:22 AM | Report abuse

Liz,

You forgot this "Liz, yo've really let success go to your head."

Unless that slang was intended.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Kathy. We've been enjoying surprised look,
Her newest pictures on
~~~~Bigdaddymatch.com~~~~
which is a celebrity big people dating community for BBW, BHM, big
beautiful women with big boobs, big breasts and their oyalist!

Posted by: bbwbeauty | July 31, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Why the surprise at Sam Lutfi's given name actually being Osama? Lutfi is a common Arab surname, it makes sense that he would have a fairly common Arab first name. It's waaaaay less surprising than Ali Lohan auditioning for a pornographer, after all.

Posted by: BxNY | July 31, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

I think we need to send these "new people" (i.e., trolls) to The Lizard Academy of Snarkology for a course in the correct way to do our thing.

The nastiness is getting tiresome.

"Whinning" indeed!

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 9:48 AM

Although I don't agree with Deadlines nor am I him/her, I'm sick of a lot of the regular posters on this blog calling people trolls for not disagreeing or challenging someone else's viewpoint. Just because they didn't agree with you, doesn't mean they are a troll. Other people have views as well, not everyone has to agree with what you think. You regular posters are acting like when people disagreed with the Iraq war and Rove/Cheney and the rest of the Republican Party called them unpatriotic.

Posted by: DavidR | July 31, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Let's see . . . Obama is Paris Hilton or Britney? What does that make McCain? Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Posted by: Nick | July 31, 2008 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Heck, Nick, I'd have figured Paris the heiress & Britney the redneck for Repubs.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is spot on! Sometimes we overlook the obvious and forget that yes, all actors are performers, and what good is performing if nobody's watching? Of course they want an audience--but they want it all, fame, fortune, and privacy too.

I think a lot of actors become real divas and get accustomed to their wishes being someone else's command. So they want an audience, but only when they want to be seen--like promoting their latest movie and dressed to the nines. They don't necessarily want to be seen without makeup at the supermarket. But you really can't have it both ways.

Posted by: Patty | July 31, 2008 10:40 AM | Report abuse

"An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of baiting other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion."
Talk amongst yourselves!

Posted by: Bawlmer is so verklempt. | July 31, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

the 1st 3 were grt I look frwd to nxt 1
Yeahhhhhh

Posted by: luvaustinpowers | July 31, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

I'm slowly losing my flat stomach to my second pregnancy, but it will be back.

Posted by: atb | July 31, 2008 9:25 AM

Never has an insecure person worked harder to convince strangers that her body is attractive. Next, in a desparate attempt to convince everyone she has a nice rack, she'll be talking about how much and often she breast-fed. Get this woman a mirror and a hotel room so she and her ego can spend some intimate time together.

Posted by: Everyone is a 10 online | July 31, 2008 10:28 AM

Posted by: Quote without comment | July 31, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Posted by: Quote without comment | July 31, 2008 10:49 AM

Perfect example of an internet troll

Posted by: Internet Troll | July 31, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Re: Cheech and Chong tour, what exactly is the target audience for 70's stoner humor? If you are the agent, what venues are you booking them in? Nissan Pavillion? Birchmere? Wolf Trap? Leisure World?

Posted by: 44west | July 31, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Tommy Chong is 70 years old, fer chrissakes!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

First the etch-a-sketchist and now album covers in Legos. Liz, who cares if your Morning Mix is full of stale Obama rapper news. I'm upping my art consumption every day thanks to you. Next up: could you find us a cool body art website to peruse? Gravestones? Roadside signs? Yard landscaping?

Thank ye.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 31, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

Posted by: Quote without comment | July 31, 2008 10:49 AM

Perfect example of an internet troll

Posted by: Internet Troll | July 31, 2008 10:51 AM

Why? Because they didn't agree with you?

Posted by: Cecilia | July 31, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Why? Because they didn't agree with you?

Posted by: Cecilia | July 31, 2008 11:03 AM

Now you're making me cry, Cecilia.

Posted by: Donna | July 31, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Re: Cheech and Chong tour, what exactly is the target audience for 70's stoner humor? If you are the agent, what venues are you booking them in? Nissan Pavillion? Birchmere? Wolf Trap? Leisure World?

Posted by: 44west | July 31, 2008 10:51 AM

---------------------------------

I can see it now, Cheech and Chong, comedy headliners for the "Bong & Song" Tour, at Leisure Worlds nationwide! Musical guests, featuring The Rolling Stones, singing their new hit, "Can't Get No Wheelchair Traction"....

Posted by: Anonynonandon | July 31, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Kathy Griffin swears off plastic surgery
****
too late, kathy.

Tommy Chong is 70 years old, fer chrissakes
*****
in a weak defense, so was george carlin and he was still very funny and observant. altho' the same probably can't be said of C&C. are they going to do the "dave's not here routine" at age 70?

Why? Because they didn't agree with you?
***
no dear, because it was an unkind comment, designed to hurt someone in a very personal way.

Posted by: janet needs to get the laundry going | July 31, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Why? Because they didn't agree with you?


Posted by: Cecilia | July 31, 2008 11:03 AM

-----------------------------------

No, because it has nothing to do with this blog. It was cut and pasted from a different blog. Did you even bother to read it?

Posted by: Internet Troll | July 31, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

no dear, because it was an unkind comment, designed to hurt someone in a very personal way.


If atb would quit boasting of her flat stomach, it would not happen!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Ignore the trolls.

Posted by: p!ssed-off regular | July 31, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

If atb would quit boasting of her flat stomach, it would not happen!

Posted by: | July 31, 2008 11:18 AM

ATB didn't post anything about that on the CI blog. Some troll copied & pasted it in. Don't take the troll-bait.

Posted by: p!ssed-off regular | July 31, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

I'm seeing Cheech & Chong at Knott's Berry Farm (a la Hugh Grant in "Music and Lyrics"), doing their old act in a gazebo off to the side while a dozen or so 50+ fans in Deadhead gear smoke and watch with dazed expressions.

Posted by: td | July 31, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

i think Johnny Depp would make a cool Riddler, but Phillip Seymour Hoffman would make an awesome Penguin!

if you don't feed the trolls, they will wither up and die.

Posted by: b | July 31, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

ATB didn't post anything about that on the CI blog.
***
i wondered about that. should not have taken the bait of someone who prefers to remain in the darkness of anonymity and hurl unkind remarks or set others up to be trashed. the lack of civility and kindness is disconcerting. makes one wonder some about the paucity of their personal lives.
****
in phoenix, we used to have legend city. a very poor imitation of disneyland. if still standing, cheech & chong could play there. as an alternative, i offer them the bandshell at encanto park.
*****
elizabeth taylor has an amazing will to live. all of her serious health issues would have felled most mortals long ago.
****
who is mike myers's stylist? his haircut and haircolor are not good. cut is too buster brownish (anyone remember buster brown?) and the color is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too dark. as one ages, generally the lighter colors are better, less aging.
****
i can't help myself. i like rosie o'donnell even tho some see her as a braying loudmouth. i find her smart, funny, sharp.

Posted by: janet packs it off to the gym for awhile | July 31, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

The Morning Mix includes Johnny Depp as the Riddler, Ali Lohan on a porn audition, Obama in a Chi-town/ATL fight with Ludacris, Fergie as a hooker, Amy Winehouse doing creepy Amy Winehouse things, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers (drool). Yet we are getting into a tiff about Internet trolls and flat abs that don't belong to Daniel Craig? Focus, people, focus!

Posted by: musicgeek | July 31, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

I'm slowly losing my flat stomach to my second pregnancy, but it will be back. It's the way I'm shaped. Don't be jealous. I'm sure you have nice ankles or something.

Posted by: atb | July 31, 2008 9:25 AM

Posted by: What ATB did post (elsewhere) | July 31, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

I thought Fergie was a hooker.

Uhm, does Dina not know how to google anyone besides herself or her offspring?

Amy Winehouse and fresh blood deliveries? So ripe for the picking I don't even know where to begin.

And if you're not hot, male and/or famous, I really don't care what you look like. Stop taking away the fun of lurking here.

Posted by: lurker not a poster | July 31, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

I think the Celebritology blog is going down hill. Actually it's really going back to what it was a few months ago. There was a short period starting around the time of Miley and Tom Cruise's latest antics where the regulars took over with their free form rantings and that was entertaining. It appears they aren't posting as much now and the magic is gone. I guess it's up to Liz to provide more interesting content that doesn't involve comics and etch-a-sketch.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to Janet, I've got this endless loop in my head of "Here's Buster Brown, he lives in a shoe. Here's his dog Tige, he lives in there too." Quick, somebody help me out and name some other song.

(Beyond the melody, those have got to be the lamest jingle lyrics ever.)

Posted by: td bought his school shoes at kinney | July 31, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

I thought that was a funny little taunt, but people have body issues. I should be more sensitive to trolls.

On topic- I'm not feeling any of the morning mix today other than to say that any mention of Fergie brings me back to how hot she looked doing her aerial when performing with Heart on AI. That woman is a machine.

Posted by: atb | July 31, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Dear Rosie O'Donnell: http://site.despair.com/despairwear/yourblog/

Posted by: td | July 31, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

td, I could name some other songs, but the cure might be worse than the disease.
Try Sisqo's "The Thong Song", if you can remember it. It will sweep your brain clean of all other music. Or "Who Let The Dogs Out", by Baja Men.

Posted by: Bawlmer hesistates to suggest anything by Barry Manilow. | July 31, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, Bawlmer. Since Sisqo is from our beloved Charm City, that'll work (it's way better than shoe jingles.) I just have to remember not to sing out loud here in the office.

Posted by: td is humming thongthongthongthongthong | July 31, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

I thought that was a funny little taunt, but people have body issues. I should be more sensitive to trolls.

Posted by: atb | July 31, 2008 12:32 PM

Thanks atb. I'm a reg commentator here who hates digging through troll comments. But you're so awesome you decided to incite them and provoke them and now we all have to suffer. Thanks again, you self-centered jerk.

Posted by: regular commentator | July 31, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

You mean alsum!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

it's curtains for elizabeth taylor. the enquirer is wrong about a lot of things, but apparently, they know death watches (see: johnny carson). so long, liz! i hardly knew ye.

Posted by: wats | July 31, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Um, hello, it was on another blog, and trolls hardly need me to insight them. That said your insightful comment has rally made me reconsider my ways. Thank you so much for changing my life. What would I do if not for anonymous internet saviors? I had no idea how difficult I was making it for so many to enjoy life. Now, here's an idea, since you're a "regular," quit with the name-calling and get on topic, troll.

That Kathy Griffin. Less of her really is more. I'm talking about less of her on TV, as opposed to less flesh on her body.

Posted by: atb | July 31, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

This discussion about trolls is getting tiresome.

Focusing on celebrities (or wannabes), has anyone else noticed that Kathy Griffin has an unusually large and flat head? I bet you could put a soccer ball (or other large round object) on the top of her head and it wouldn't roll off.

Posted by: spartan | July 31, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

atb, you're ruining this blog for the rest of us. if you want to play with the trolls please go elsewhere. thanks.

Posted by: Nancy | July 31, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

'incite', not 'insight', atb.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

'really' not 'rally', atb.

Posted by: your internet savior | July 31, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

For TD:

Here's Buster Brown,
he lives in a shoe.
Here's his dog Tige,
he lives in there too.
It's why I go barefoot--
My shoe's full of poo!

Posted by: MoCoSnarky...childhood ad parody | July 31, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

All this troll talk reminds me of my beloved orange haired troll doll I had a million years ago. I think I got it when our family lived in Arlington and am pretty sure it's still in the toy boxes we moved out of my parents house when they moved to Florida.

Now that was a troll.

Posted by: methinks | July 31, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

I wonder if Kathy Griffin had her head flattened so she could put a soccer ball on there!

Posted by: lurker not a poster | July 31, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

My friends had a bunch of those troll dolls, methinks! Not me. I found their creased little grins and beady eyes to be wholly terrifying. They did have great hair, though.
Apparently Conan O'Brien can do a startlingly good impression of one.

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 31, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

The troll doll I had was part of the original craze, in the late 1960s. They came back when my daughter was in elementary school (she's now 21--gulp!)
They were a little weird looking but between the fabulous acrylic hair and cute little pot belly, I found them irresistible.

Posted by: methinks | July 31, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Hey thanks, MoCo! Love the parody. (On deck: McDonald's is your kind of place, hamburgers in your face....)

And I'm seeing synergy in all this recent commentary (plus I'm trying to follow musicgeek's wise words: "Focus, people, focus!").

Kathy Griffin, orange hair, troll dolls. If you spin Kathy really hard between your hands, does her hair go up from her flat hair into a point?

Now THAT would be a celebrity collectable I'd consider bidding on!

Posted by: td also says enough with the atb-bashing | July 31, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

The Ali Lohan "audition" with the sleazy director is not surprising. Clearly this was not a serious audition, but was ginned up just for the show. It made Ali look like a real actor and the producer got publicity for his low budget movie. All the product placement and "promotional consideration" in reality shows has gotten totally out of hand.

Posted by: Cleveland Brown | July 31, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Oh man, td, you're right! How did I miss Kathy Griffin?! She would be the centerpiece of the Celebrity Troll Doll series. It's something about the grin.
I could also see Howie Mandel with a strong showing. Wait, he's bald now...okay, mid-90's Mandel.
How about Colin Farrell? Or Tom Cruise in the ceremonial Sea Org vestments?

Posted by: Bawlmer | July 31, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

ATB's flat stomach matches her "Keira Knightley" chest.

Posted by: | July 31, 2008 1:35 PM

Posted by: You want celeb snarks? Here you are! | July 31, 2008 2:14 PM | Report abuse

First of all, I hope all the Lala-land lizards (and their loved ones of every species) are safe following Tuesday's earthquake.

Next, a shout-out to ep for getting through the bar exam. A round at the Tiki Bar on me.

Looks like I've got volunteers to help with the casting couch. Carm down, lizards, there's enough for everyone!

Is an "oyalist" (see 10:30 AM) a hypocritical sycophant who feigns loyalty and admiration while secretly going "Oy vay!" behind the person's back?

Hermespal, don't you think that one advantage of remaking movies in chronological order would be that their copyrights have expired, so they're in the public domain? ep, can you check on this for us?

From yesterday: Alert the fashion police! Maggie Gyllenhaal has stolen the hairdo, headband and little black dress from I had in college. Sometimes retro simply means out of fashion. (On the other hand, I rather liked MG's orange dress and upswept 'do in Japan).

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Typo correction (that's what I get for rewriting):

Alert the fashion police! Maggie Gyllenhaal has stolen the hairdo, headband and little black dress I had in college.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Is an "oyalist" (see 10:30 AM) a hypocritical sycophant who feigns loyalty and admiration while secretly going "Oy vay!" behind the person's back?
************

Ooh, Nosy Parker...me like!!

Posted by: methinks | July 31, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

Maybe Elizabeth Taylor ought to get her PDR enforced so we can get on with the obsequies.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 9:21 AM
**********

Joining late, still catching up, and probably confused. . . think you meant DNR?

Or has Liz been taking so many different meds they need to enforce the Physicians' Desk Reference for drug interactions???

(Maybe Amy W's been stealing Liz's blood. Or mine.)

Posted by: alex | July 31, 2008 2:24 PM | Report abuse

I'm hurt really hurt. The trolls that you should be ignoring got more attention than my return did. Ya'all didn't miss me at all.

Posted by: ep | July 31, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Welcome back, ep!
Congrats on getting through it. Now carm down and have a drink.

Posted by: sunnydaze | July 31, 2008 2:44 PM | Report abuse

I remember the troll fad. I always preferred to spend my hard-earned allowance on non-ugly things (you know, like pink plastic hoop earrings and neon green slouch socks), so I never participated in the hoopla myself. But in my fifth grade class, you couldn't help but see an orange-haired troll stuck on someone's pencil eraser, as if they had unceremoniously shoved a wooden stick up the poor little guy's a$$.

In retrospect, it reminds me of Mel Brooks' poetry from the Inquisition scene of "History of the World, Part I":

"I was sitting in a temple,
I was minding my own business, I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.
When these Papal persons plundered
and they threw me in a dungeon,
and they shoved a red hot poker up my a$$.
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight!"

Now *that's* oy-worthy.

Posted by: musicgeek wore slap bracelets too | July 31, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

Hey Nosy, You're right about the copyrights. But I cringe at the very notion. All of my scripts are original ideas with the exception of two based on books. It's part of what's hard about marketing them--Hollywood wants a sure thing, and remakes or comic book fare reassure them of a core audience. Very frustrating.

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Is Amy Whinehouse going to drink the blood or give herself infusions? You know like when Tom bought the sonogram machine.

I would get excited about the Rosie thing only I heard she's in talks to do a variety show and the possibility that she would blog again still looms.

Posted by: petal, yeah I'm late to the party but I was lining up fresh meat for the island | July 31, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Hey, hermespal, if there's ever a movie about a group of celebritology bloggers, should we assume it came from your pen, er, keyboard?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 2:54 PM | Report abuse

ep, how did it go? any essays? i know the relief that comes from finishing that bar exam, now off to the tiki bar. i'm buying the first 3 rounds for everyone.
****
kathy's griffen forehead could serve the last supper.
***
instead of the buster brown song how about : kibbles & bits, kibbles & bits....let that rattle around in your brain for awhile. tormenting.
***
wouldn't that sour faced dina l. check out the producer who is interviewing the child? isn't that a parent's job?
****
i, too, had shoes from kinney's, but preferred baker's. and also owned 1 troll doll that wore a red velvet outfit. white hair. other than the hair, perfect match w/KG.
****
at the gym, saw some of Reeg & Kelly. she annoys me almost as much as kathy lee, but no one could top her level of irritability. my bff and i went to see reeg and kathy lee when they were here in town years ago. just to torment ourselves. does anyone or did anyone ever used to watch a show they hate just because?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 31, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

oops. i'm not having a very alert week. sorry.
as for elizabeth taylor, i'm afraid the earlier poster was correct. she's probably on her way out, but she is an energizer bunny, cat w/7 lives, etc.
****
does anyone know the deal yet w/winehouse and the blood? could be a new group.

Posted by: janet forgets to sign her name at 2:56pm | July 31, 2008 2:57 PM | Report abuse

wouldn't that sour faced dina l. check out the producer who is interviewing the child? isn't that a parent's job?

Unfortunately, I think you just answered your own question, 2:56 PM.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Janet, I fear Dina Lohan knew exactly what she was doing.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Remember when we were debating the merits of a boyzillian? Apparently most women WANT their men to have them done. Check out the comments:

http://jezebel.com/5031157/4-things-i-hate-about-esquires-10-things-you-dont-know-about-women#viewcomments

Posted by: Nancy | July 31, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Welcome back, ep!

Posted by: td begs forgiveness | July 31, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Janet, I fear Dina Lohan knew exactly what she was doing.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 3:02 PM

Was she wearing lilo's knee pad leggings when she met the producer?

Posted by: Nancy | July 31, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Funny you should say that Nosy. A couple of years ago I was a regular on a yahoo message board following a particular news story, eventually even met one of the posters for lunch. I was thinking at the time about a pursuit thriller, where the protagonist winds up hopscotching the country getting help from people he only knows by their handle--and then finds out it's one of them that's obsessed with him. So I suppose I could adapt it to the celebrity blog--shall we star Byoolin?

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Eeek, I read my submission to this week's chat (about Shia LaBeouf) and realized I sound like a mean-spirited schmuck. I can remember the dumb stuff I did as a teen- and the dumb stuff I'm probably going to do in the future- and I can only thank my lucky stars that there's not a legion of paparazzi waiting to see me hurl on the pavement.
And I snark about partying one's brains out in Hollywood, but having your dad introduce you to booze and drugs is a whole nother thing altogether. Downey Jr was able to eventually get past it, much to my delight. I hope LaBeouf can overcome it too.
There, I feel better. Virgin margaritas, anyone?

Posted by: Bawlmer gets some things off her chest. | July 31, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

Hey, hermespal, if there's ever a movie about a group of celebritology bloggers, should we assume it came from your pen, er, keyboard?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | July 31, 2008 2:54 PM

-------------------------------------------
Since Halle Berry and I are the same age, I think she should play me.

Posted by: jake e. poo, not really back, but couldn't resist this one | July 31, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

hermespal, that's actually a very good idea. a thriller. and yes, jake e. poo, halle berry should play you. i'd have to be portrayed by carol burnett altho' once many, many eons ago, someone asked if i was jane fonda. no one asks that anymore. my face still moves.
***
parents who abuse their children by getting them into drugs and alcohol should be clocked w/the cast iron skillet multiple times. that said, i'd like my margarita made w/cuervo gold and a grand marnier float. crushed ice, please, and just a hint of salt around the rim. do i sound like niles crane?
***
boyzillian? eek. no. not on my wish list. i did see a man on the way back from the grocery store this morning, running along w/no shirt. (only 112 here today)the amount of hair on his man breasts staggered me and almost caused me to lose control of the car. skip the boyzillian. he needed a weedeater.

Posted by: janet likes hermespal's script idea | July 31, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

I was outraged that Mike Myers is one of the most highly compensated actors in Hollywood. That said, if he's working on Austin Powers IV, at least it means he isn't working on The Cat in the Hat II, right?

*****

Leno had a funny joke about Amy last nite--that the hospital had diagnosed her with a skull fracture. Ooops, that was actually meant to be "crackhead."

Posted by: alex | July 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I got a beauty of a pic for you all. Check this page out, and look at the pic in the middle of the page...

http://gawker.com/5031598/good-stroke#viewcomments

Posted by: James from the Block | July 31, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

There is NO WAY i'm going to get a boyzillian, no matter what those women are saying. It looks way too painful.

Posted by: boyzillian take 2 | July 31, 2008 3:48 PM | Report abuse

"[S]hall we star Byoolin?" --hermespal

Who better? Only it turns out he's not really Canadian, but instead is a Russian spy who has infiltrated the U.S. Navy and . . .

Posted by: td sees *no way out* of this one | July 31, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Arggh, td! You KNOW how aggravated that makes me! A perfectly good movie blown to bits with one little scene.

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse

I just wandered back to this post for a minute and see that I am starring in something. Will have to read back in time when I get home to find out what.

Meanwhile, this just in: Liz Taylor is not dead yet, sez AP.

Quote:

LOS ANGELES - Representatives for Elizabeth Taylor say she is in a hospital but is doing fine and expects to return home shortly.

A statement released by Dick Guttman, her Los Angeles-based publicist, did not say where she was staying Thursday or what had been ailing the 76-year-old actress.

"Ms. Taylor is fine," the statement read. "Her hospital visit was precautionary. She will be returning home shortly. At present, she is surrounded by family, friends and fabulous jewels."

Taylor lives in Bel Air, a tony section of Los Angeles.

Posted by: byoolin thinks he'll go for a walk. | July 31, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

It appears that Ms. Winehouse is taking the advice from a page in The Keith Richards survival handbook. Therefore, after Armageddon, we will now be survived by Keith, Cher, roaches, and Amy. Possibly some cats and dandelions.

Posted by: ripariandweller | July 31, 2008 4:35 PM | Report abuse

does anyone or did anyone ever used to watch a show they hate just because?

Posted by: | July 31, 2008 2:56 PM

Yup -- the first few seasons of Flavor of Love.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | July 31, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, hermespal. Didn't mean to make you cringe. Just struck me funny.

How about "Murder on the Orient Express" instead if we want (not that we need) an homage? Instead of "H is N in Russian," one clue to the mystery involves Canadian spellings (honour, colour, et al.)?

Posted by: td | July 31, 2008 5:00 PM | Report abuse

Now that is a great film, td. One of my all time favorites. I would love to do a story that ended with a "they all did it" but that one is just too iconic I think.

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 5:06 PM | Report abuse

eeeek! alex, you're correct. It's DNR (maybe Ms Liz has a few PDRs in the drawer, too).

Way to come out alive, ep! hooray for you.

Queen Liz? do we need your input more often to keep us energized? Get out your pointy stick (the one with the rusty nail in the end) and give us a few pokes now and then.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

Ms. Winehouse is taking the advice from a page in The Keith Richards survival handbook
****
ah, the inestimable mr. richards. my very favorite music guy ever. the blood replacement. well, didn't he go to switzerland for that a couple times? and that was for heroin addiction. does it work for meth/crack addition as well?

Posted by: in a perfect world, keith richards would know janet's phone number | July 31, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

Wait.

You say that byoolin is not Canadian but a Russian spy who has infiltrated the US Navy?

woah! sounds like "No Way Out" and byoo' gets to be Kevin Costner.

I think I need to go get a bucket of cold water and dump it over my head. (That's the ancient Lizard cure for the vapours.)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

hermespal, where does one go w/an idea for a film/screenplay? i suppose everyone has one, and i'm no exception, based on something that happened to a friend's son and what transpired after that.

Posted by: janet has guardianship of a poignant story | July 31, 2008 5:35 PM | Report abuse

janet has guardianship of a poignant story
==================================

yeah, but what if Hollywood gets hold of hermespal's script of your story and makes a mess of it and the film stinks and the acting is worse and we're forced to snark it?

That would be too sad.

Posted by: Curmudgeon thinks twice | July 31, 2008 5:41 PM | Report abuse

James from the Block at 3:26,

Nice photo, thx. Whom else might we like to see in this particular pose? I'm guessing Daniel Craig would be on that list.

Posted by: jsk | July 31, 2008 5:49 PM | Report abuse

very if Hollywood gets hold of hermespal's script of your story and makes a mess of it and the film stinks and the acting is worse and we're forced to snark it?
***
that would be sad but i feel this story is unsnarkable. should i even say that? angelina jolie is barred from it.

Posted by: janet holds firm :) | July 31, 2008 5:52 PM | Report abuse

wow, janet, a blockbuster.

hermespal? are you still here?

Posted by: mudge | July 31, 2008 5:53 PM | Report abuse

eeeek! alex, you're correct. It's DNR (maybe Ms Liz has a few PDRs in the drawer, too).

Queen Liz? do we need your input more often to keep us energized? Get out your pointy stick (the one with the rusty nail in the end) and give us a few pokes now and then.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 31, 2008 5:24 PM

*******

I just know my PDRs and DNRs. Mom's got her DNR prominently posted on the fridge so I can see it every time I walk by. Way to creep me out, Mom!

And as for Liz's pointy stick, she can prod us all she wants, but I don't think it'll do any good at this juncture. I think we're all just suffering from heat stroke, heat exhaustion, or some variable thereof. Colin Firth could walk right now and I doubt I could summon the energy to adequately ogle him. (Much less stalk him.)

Posted by: alex needs a monthlong nap somewhere more springlike | July 31, 2008 6:31 PM | Report abuse

'Mudge said: Maybe Ms Liz (Taylor) has a few PDRs in the drawer, too.

Yeah, there's really no telling what Liz Taylor's had in those drawers. But after Larry Fortensky I really didn't wanted to know anymore. (Or maybe even after Eddie Fischer.)

Posted by: alex | July 31, 2008 6:37 PM | Report abuse

wow, janet, a blockbuster.

*****
it is, a poignant, tearjerker. and not just a "woman's" movie either. war, death, love, honor, friendship, the marine corps marathon. it has it all.

Posted by: janet ponders the name for the movie | July 31, 2008 7:19 PM | Report abuse

Just popped back in and see there are questions for moi--Off topic warning, skip to next post if you're not interested!

Janet, first you should write up the idea -- it's called a treatment. Paragraph form of the story from beginning to end. Can be anything from 8 to 60 pages. Then you register it with the WGA (can do online, I think it's $25 for non-members). Then you try to find a screenwriter who will write it on spec (meaning they don't get paid unless it sells)--this is the hard part. One, you want a decent writer, two, most decent writers get paid to write. There are listings on Craig's list all the time of people looking for writers, so that's where you should probably start (ask for samples). Once you have a draft, you run it by a script analyst which is a relatively inexpensive way to get notes and feedback for a polish. Then you try to pitch it, either via online pitch sites or at an expo, send hundreds of query letters, and basically bash your head against the hollywood wall just trying to get people to read it. If you're lucky, you land an agent who believes in it and works hard to market it. Not all agents do, still requiring the writer to try to generate interest in it. Many companies will not even accept "unsolicited" queries or pitches, and none accept scripts unless they've asked to see it. If you don't have an agent or a lawyer, they will ask you to sign a standard release form which basically says they can steal your material if they feel like it.

If it was easy, everyone would do it. If you really believe in your story, you should go for it, but it's a long and difficult process.

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 7:50 PM | Report abuse

i believe in the story because it's true. it's already been on the national news. i contacted a local reporter at the time this all happened who wrote an article for our newspaper and cbs picked it up for a segment a year or two ago. it's timeless.

Posted by: janet thanks hermespal for her time and knowledge | July 31, 2008 8:11 PM | Report abuse

No worries, Janet. It's my favorite thing to talk about anyway!

If a reporter has already done a story about it, it mildly complicates things, as the reporter's article becomes "source material". Same with the cbs segment. But you can probably get around it with a simple letter agreement with the actual source authorizing you to generate a screenplay based on his story. Write the treatment and register it--then if you want you can send it to me with the article (and the cbs segment if you have it on tape) and I'll evaluate it for you.

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 8:25 PM | Report abuse

But you can probably get around it with a simple letter agreement with the actual source authorizing you to generate a screenplay based on his story. Write the treatment and register it--then if you want you can send it to me with the article (and the cbs segment if you have it on tape) and I'll evaluate it for you
***
the actual source is my friend, the mother of the soldier. another source, the marathon runner, is also a friend. both will sign. i put the reporter in touch w/them. the reporter had been trying to get ahold of my friend the mother, but she had ignored the reporter due to her extreme sorrow and stress. someone at cbs contacted them directly after reading the article. i can get the tape and article. how do you want to divulge your address? i'm happy to give you an email address or my phone number. thank you for your consideration. we can get away w/these emails since we're at the end of the day. at least for the east coasters....

Posted by: janet | July 31, 2008 8:36 PM | Report abuse

It occured to me that being late in the day would make it okay for this kind of back and forth--send whatever to hermespal at yahoo dot com and we can continue the discussion without bothering the others.

Signing off for the evening, Mr. Hermespal is soon to be home!

Posted by: hermespal | July 31, 2008 9:18 PM | Report abuse

Hey, whether anything ever comes of this or not, I was interested in reading a bit about the script process. It's an alien world to me.

Hope something comes of it all. Good luck!

Posted by: alex | August 1, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

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