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Posted at 8:04 AM ET, 07/15/2008

Morning Mix: Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel Call It Quits

By Liz Kelly

Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, Christian Bale and Maggie Gyllenhaal at Monday's world premiere of 'The Dark Knight' in New York. (Getty Images)

Tuesday

Headlines: Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel call it quits... Heath Ledger's family attends "Dark Knight" premiere... Christie Brinkley's ex says he's sorry about affair... George Clooney's cell phone up for auction... Whoopi Goldberg to appear in "Xanadu" on Broadway... Christina Ricci signs up for three-episode "Saving Grace" cameo... Eva Mendes says she carried a knife during "Angelina Jolie phase"... Brady Feud: Florence Henderson calls Christopher Knight's marriage a mistake... Coolio goes green.

Pix: Lourdes Leon spends a day out with dad... Britney Spears on the set of her Madonna tour cameo...

Crime Watch: Khloe Kardashian gets jail time for violating DUI probation.

Rumor Mill: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban reject multimillion dollar baby pic offers... Amy Winehouse's father hospitalized for stress... Uma Thurman latest "baby bump" speculation victim... Madonna loving A-Rod gossip... Madge and brother had "husband-wife" relationship, says Christopher Ciccone... Mama wannabe Paris Hilton tones down partying.

By Liz Kelly  | July 15, 2008; 8:04 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Comment Box: Stars, They're Just Like Us

Comments

Christie Brinkley's ex says he's sorry about affair.

Would that be because he got caught and publicly SMAMEd, and it cost him even partial custody of his kids, as well as a larger monetary settlement? Yeah, I bet he's really sorry.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 8:41 AM | Report abuse

Sarah Silverman Before: "I'm F****** Matt Damon"

Sarah Silverman After: "That F****** Jimmy Kimmel"

Posted by: byoolin | July 15, 2008 8:43 AM | Report abuse

Instead of selling the photos, Nicole and Keith are just going to hand out Polaroids.

Hello?! Florence Henderson was on "My Fair Brady" when Christopher Knight and Adrienne Curry were dating. She said THEN that he was too old for her.

Sarah Silverman. I know some of you are fans, but she's on my Will Ferrell I-just-don't-get-it list. Whatever.

I'm seeing Whoopi Goldberg on skates (didn't Olivia Newton-John roller skate in "Xanadu"?) and it's not a pretty picture.

Posted by: td | July 15, 2008 8:44 AM | Report abuse

George Clooney's "Motorola phone . . . was designed specially for him" -- it automatically disconnects calls from women who want commitment after the first three minutes.

Posted by: td | July 15, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

Chris Ciccone: "Not very many brothers find themselves on their knees in their sister's dressing room wiping sweat off of her naked body."

Geez, Chris, how about a little self-respect?

STAND UP, for Pete's sake. You should still be able to reach most of the little nooks and crannies.

Posted by: byoolin | July 15, 2008 8:52 AM | Report abuse

This just in: Hugh Grant is also sorry about that little Divine Brown thing.

Posted by: td | July 15, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Sarah Silverman...I'd hit it, I'd probably hate myself for it later, but not enough to keep going back (I had an ex like that once). What I find attractive about her is that she pulls off this "I know guys think I'm cute and it's fun to play with their minds" routine, but at least to me, she always manages to stay juuuust on the cute side of the line, while never staying too long on the annoying side. Her take on "The Aristocrats" was brilliantly creepy, and her Matt Damon song absolutely cracked me up.

Side note: has anyone wondered if maybe this is a stunt? Maybe Ashton Kutcher has a hand in this...

Posted by: 23112 | July 15, 2008 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Not even 9am and td has set the Clooney joke bar impossibly high.

Posted by: byoolin | July 15, 2008 8:59 AM | Report abuse

What is it with celebs and their brothers? Ick. I live my brother but not like that. Boundaries, people, boundaries.

Eva Mendes thankfully stopped her Angelina phase at the knife stuff and before the adopting a kid from every continent.

Posted by: ep | July 15, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

ok, so who is creepier? madonna's brother or angelina's brother? discuss.

Posted by: wats | July 15, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I just don't understand why magazines pay millions for celeb baby pics. I mean, I get the whole business aspect of it, but is a mag really going to make that $20M back? Good for Nicole and Keith for not buying into that.

Posted by: surlychick | July 15, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Sorry td, but I don't think that the issue Mrs. Henderson's Issue with Ms. Curry is simply about age. I would guess that the fact that Ms. Curry is batsh!tcrazy is the reason that she does not approve.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | July 15, 2008 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Sorry guys call the grammar police on this girl.

Sorry td, but I don't think that Mrs. Henderson's Issue with Ms. Curry is simply about age. I would guess that the fact that Ms. Curry is batsh!tcrazy is the reason that she does not approve.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | July 15, 2008 9:16 AM | Report abuse

For anyone who doesn't want to read the full Christopher Ciccone story, the paraphrase is "Look at me, look at me! Give me a reality TV show."

Posted by: M Street | July 15, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Gary Oldman and Christian Bale in the a.m. excellent!

Posted by: petal | July 15, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

"Not even 9am and td has set the Clooney joke bar impossibly high." --byoolin

I didn't even get to the "Facts of Life" ringtone yet. Or the "Hi. You've reached the Sexiest Man Alive." voicemail greeting.

And Mz Fitz, point taken about Christopher/Adrienne. I'm sure age was just the tip of the iceberg with that duo.

Posted by: td is greatly humbled by byoolin's praise | July 15, 2008 9:24 AM | Report abuse

Maggie Gyllenhaal is staring too hard at Christian Bale. I might have to cut her.

Posted by: Lisa1 | July 15, 2008 9:26 AM | Report abuse

Lisa1, stay away from Ms. Gyllenhaal, at least it's not her brother staring too hard at Christian Bale.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 15, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Lisa, it looks more like she's staring at Gary Oldman.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Lisa1, stay away from Ms. Gyllenhaal, at least it's not her brother staring too hard at Christian Bale.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 15, 2008 9:28 AM


Jake Gyllenhaal only has eyes for Austin Nichols. (and maybe Lance Armstrong).

Posted by: xenda | July 15, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

I don't think there's a more chameleonic actor than Gary Oldman. Even when he's not in character, it seems like he looks different every time I see him. He is nothing short of awesome.

Posted by: 23112 | July 15, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Is it just me or does Christina Ricci have a freakishly large forehead?

I, too, wonder if the Kimmel-Silverman break up is just a publicity stunt.

I thought Maggie might have been staring at Michale Caine's turkey wattle.

Posted by: ripariandweller | July 15, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

I want to know why Christina Ricci appearing on "Saving Grace" warrants a Morning Mix mention. Seriously.

Posted by: huh? | July 15, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

I, for one, hope Paris does have a baby. It will make for a great headline a few months later:

Hilton Baby Crawls Into Forest, Volunteers To Be Raised By Wolves.

Posted by: byoolin sees a subhed that says, "Hilton: 'Oh, Yeah, I Had A Baby. That's Hot.'" | July 15, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

"The phone was gifted to George at last year's Oscars for being in the running for best actor."

He's auctioning off his SWAG. Probably to generate enough "charitable contributions" to offset the taxes on the rest of the contents of the SWAG bag.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 15, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

"We were living in the same house together after her divorce from Sean. I was the last person she spoke to at night before she went to bed. I was the first person she saw in the morning. We ran together, we had sour dough toast together, we had our coffee together....It was a bit like a marriage. It was kind of weird."

No, Christopher, it was exactly like a marriage...except for the "wiping off her naked body" part. Real married people don't do that.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 15, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Hiya, sunnydaze. Yeah, we missed you. Have you ever noticed that, when you're gone, your work just piles up and no one does anything in your absence? Plus, since you're not there to defend yourself, anything that goes wrong gets blamed on you?

Wwweellll, while you (and some of the other regulars) were gone last week, we noticed that luvlinsey was also gone. So, we decided that our list of luvlinsey possibilities was narrowed to jaybbub, £££, you and maybe a couple of others.

What do you say?

This is what happens when you leave--everything

Posted by: alex | July 14, 2008 5:03 PM

******************

OK, I have giant piles of, you know, work on my desk right now, and my boss keeps coming in to bother me, so I should probably do some work today, but I just had to respond to alex's comment from yesterday.

I have never, ever posted as luvlinsey. I did post the luvcheetos post in response to someone snarking on the Jolie-Pitt kids eating them. Had to defend the cheetos, you know? luvlinsey does not irritate me the way he/she does some others, but I could never be him/her because I just don't have the time to try create the grammer, spelling and punctuation horrors that are the luvlinsey posts.

Also, I want to give a shout out to Sigh and all the others who stood shoulder to shoulder against that goob with the offensive mouth yesterday - good job, you all deserve a special treat from methinks bar.

Posted by: sunnydaze is so not luvlinsey! | July 15, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Best and/or creepyist line in the Kimmel-Silverman article is the one describing Ben Affleck as "another of Hollywood's rugged leading men." Ew!

Posted by: sjcpeach | July 15, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

23112 and ripariandweller

I must be in a bizzaro universe this morning.
Sarah Silverman?? I find her VERY unattractive and not very funny.
Christina Ricci?? I find her VERY sexy with as Lisa DeM would say a nice pair of shoes. And she is funnier then Sarah.

Posted by: dw | July 15, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Hilton Baby Crawls Into Forest, Volunteers To Be Raised By Wolves.

Didn't Paris' folks take in the designer mini-dogs she tired of? They'd probably wind up raising her kid, too.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Gosh, Madonna's baby daddy looks like an extra from the Wire. And his new girlfriend looks kinda like a younger, prettier Madonna. And who's the other tweener in the black tshirt? Are celebrity offspring hiring age-appropriate personal assistants now?

Posted by: WDC | July 15, 2008 10:02 AM | Report abuse

I think both Chris Ciccone and Angelina's creepy brother are good candidates to turn into Jeremy Sisto's character, Billy, from "Six Feet Under."

Posted by: Brenda | July 15, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

dw, dude what are you smokin'?

Posted by: Whaaaaa? | July 15, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Thanks to our favorite source, IMDB, Carlos Leon was actually on Oz. Surprisingly he has quite the acting career. Whodda thunk?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 10:08 AM | Report abuse

I think Sarah Silverman is cute in a "please don't talk" sort of way. Also Christina Ricci varies between attractive and creepy with me, I think it has to do with how much forehead she is showing. But I agree that she does have a nice pair of "shoes".

Posted by: Dorkus | July 15, 2008 10:09 AM | Report abuse

When the article said Ben Affleck was "rugged," I thought they meant he wears a toupee.

Posted by: George | July 15, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

By the way, I was out yesterday and missed everything. I just finished catching up on the comments and would like to give a second shout-out to Sigh and everyone helped to defend the Celebritology Island.

Posted by: Dorkus M. | July 15, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Touché, George!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Carlos Leon was actually on Oz. Surprisingly he has quite the acting career.

More power to him.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 10:13 AM | Report abuse

Brenda, thank you for mentioning Jeremy Sisto. He's so cute. Between just hearing his name mentioned and seeing Christian Bale this a.m., I'm feeling pretty strong.

Go National League!!

Posted by: methinks | July 15, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

"I think Sarah Silverman is cute in a 'please don't talk' sort of way. Also Christina Ricci varies between attractive and creepy with me, I think it has to do with how much forehead she is showing."

Word, Dorkus! Heather Locklear is my please-don't-talk go-to babe. The Ricci forehead, so true. Christina was terrific in "Speed Racer."

And sorry, but Maggie Gyllenhall is looking at Michael Caine -- and saying, "THIS guy was Alfie?! C'mon, where's the gag. Seriously."

Posted by: td | July 15, 2008 10:24 AM | Report abuse

Hey Guyz - linsey's leggings are now on sale! i thynk we should all by some and support her. they r very pretty and decent. here r some pix of them.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/11/lindsay-lohan-leggings-go_n_112262.html

i thynk they'd look good on every1!

support linsey!

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 15, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

"I did post the luvcheetos post in response to someone snarking on the Jolie-Pitt kids eating them." --sunnydaze

You were responding to me, and you've been very consistent in your luv boundaries (yikes, well, you know what I mean) all along. I believe you. Again, welcome back!

Posted by: td knows sunnydaze is not luvlinsey | July 15, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

ripariandweller-my brothers like to say that Christina Ricci has a "fivehead".

I hope the Kimmel-Silverman split really is a prank leading up to some new "fu*#ing" video. The Matt Damon and Ben Affleck ones cracked me up.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | July 15, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

luvlinsey, ya better read the Huffington Post item again, cuz it was NOT being complimentary toward the leggings.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Don't you remember, the real luvlinsey got really upset on Friday because someone was posting as an impostor. Sunnydaze was still on vacation.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | July 15, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

Carlos Leon is an actor? I thought he was a personal trainer. Learn something new everyday.

Posted by: still | July 15, 2008 10:34 AM | Report abuse

And sorry, but Maggie Gyllenhall is looking at Michael Caine -- and saying, "THIS guy was Alfie?! C'mon, where's the gag. Seriously."

Posted by: td | July 15, 2008 10:24 AM

Someday, td, you'll get old too, if you're lucky (consider the alternative). And maybe you'll still be as employable as Michael Caine is. But again, only if you're lucky.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 10:34 AM | Report abuse

"Fivehead"! ASinMoCo that's GREAT; add that to the Celebritology glossary?

Posted by: td is lucky already, thanks | July 15, 2008 10:37 AM | Report abuse

I love Michael Caine. His oscar acceptance speech for Cider House Rules was actually worth listening to. And he had a great quote when he signed on to be Batman's Alfred a few years ago. Something about, as an actor ages, the roles get better, but the girls stop calling. Said with a self-deprecating smirk. Adorable.

Posted by: WDC | July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Impromptu Creative Captioning:

Maggie thinks to herself: "That Michael Caine is a really handsome older woman. Say, when did Sid Vicious turn into Tim Matheson?"

Posted by: Nancy | July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

"Fivehead" as a comment is old enough for kindergarten...I was hearing that batted around when Dawson's Creek was on.

Posted by: 23112 | July 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

uhmm why should any of my hard earned money go to supporting Lindsey Lohan. I don't think she is in any type of dire financial straights. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of those tights.

Posted by: no_bs_4me | July 15, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

td
I just wanted to thank you for making me laugh yesterday. Brad and Angelina are the only celebrities who publicize themselves?? I rolled on the floor with laughter!
How did anyone find out that Nicole and Keith refused money for baby pictures? - either the media found out or they publicized it themselves. In fact how did Liz find out about any of the above headlines? Either the celebs publicized themselves or the media found out about it. Brad and Angelina cannot breath without 10 reporters talking about it or 10 paparazzi taking their pictures. Of course they cannot do anything anonymously.
posers or poseurs? I guess I should have used egoistical losers instead.

Posted by: bradandangelina are ok | July 15, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Between td's description of the auctioned Clooney cell phone and Byoolin's admonition to Chris Ciccone to stand up when he towels off (or is that towel offs?) Madonna's naked body, there's not much I can add, except that perhaps Chris Ciccone should use Clooney's cell phone to wipe off Madonna's naked body.

Does anyone think that the Ciccone towel will soon appear on an eBay auction?

Posted by: Sasquatch's medicore contribution | July 15, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

i don't know where maggie gyllenhaal is looking but i keep expecting to see little red death rays coming out of her eyes. she just has that look.

Posted by: melissamac1 | July 15, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

The MMs are at their most venomous again today. What else is new?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

If Eva Mendes was naked all the time during her Angelina Jolie phase, where did she keep that knife?

Posted by: Groovis | July 15, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

It's Tuesday.

The week is just flying by . . .

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 15, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Hey Byool, I have a sociological question for you. Would Chris and Madonna Ciccone be considered a normal married couple in West Virginia?

Posted by: Sasquatch ain't into that stuff | July 15, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

"td I just wanted to thank you for making me laugh yesterday. Brad and Angelina are the only celebrities who publicize themselves?? I rolled on the floor with laughter!" --bradandangelina are ok

Did I (?) say they were the only celebrities who publicize themselves? Not sure I did. Or did I say something else funny? Sorry, you lost me.

Posted by: td must be posting too much, vows to step away from pc now | July 15, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

In connection to yesterday's discussion (which sadly I missed yesterday!) - Don't forget that Kevin Bacon has a charity website (Sixdegrees.org) that allows you to see what charities your favorite celebrity supports, so you too can donate to that charity. The yummy Colin Firth is included.

http://www.sixdegrees.org/Create.aspx

Posted by: Celebs and charity | July 15, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Does anyone think that the Ciccone towel will soon appear on an eBay auction?

Posted by: Sasquatch's medicore contribution | July 15, 2008 10:51 AM
================

What makes you think that hubby-bro was using a towel?

(shop vac, perhaps?)

Posted by: Curmudgeon has three non-icky brothers | July 15, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

thanks for the back up td and Mz Fitz!

I love Christina Ricci. I think she is a great character actor, if that is the right term. But, I gotta say "fivehead" made me snort coffee - and while, yes, it probably IS sophmoric, it's still funny, much like "why is six afraid of seven?"

Uma Thurman (my girl crush) really looks pregnant in those photos. I highly doubt that bump could be the result of too much sushi at lunch. Congrats Uma!

Amy Winehouse's father hospitalized for stress... Note to Amy: Your Daddy does NOT think you are fine.

Posted by: sunnydaze | July 15, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

egoistical or egotistical? hmmmmm, where is this going for the poser/poseur?

Posted by: janet cannot resist | July 15, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

"Would Chris and Madonna Ciccone be considered a normal married couple in West Virginia?" - Posted by: Sasquatch ain't into that stuff

*****

The answer to that depends on timing. If you'd just woken up, read what what Chris Ciccone said and then read your question, the answer would be, "Hahaha, typical ignorant 'are West Virginians all inbred' question. Very funny, smarta**."

If, however, you'd just read some of the readers' comments to articles, letters and editorials at the website of the ironically-named Wheeling Intelligencer, you'd think, "At least Mr. & Ms. Ciccone may merely be merely inbreeding, instead of raising half-human, half-farm-animal children who grow up to comment on newspaper websites."

Posted by: byoolin is sad to report that his opinion today falls into the latter category. | July 15, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Whoa, I just wandered over to the OP blog. Holy crap. Someone really needs to carm those fatties down. Yeesh.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | July 15, 2008 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Sorry. I meant "half-human, half-farm-animal, half-wit children..."

Posted by: byoolin corrects his math. | July 15, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin, you aren't gonna let these outlanders get by with such Cheney-esque stereotyping of West Virginians, are ya?

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

in terms of the creepy factor, madonna used her brother and he allowed himself to be used, methinks, so not as creepy altho' the wiping off the body deal is gacky. while the angelina brother is a freak all on his own. he looks like lurch's younger brother.

Posted by: janet contemplates additions to the manhattan project | July 15, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

I cannot stay and play today because work keeps getting in the way...(again!)

I know this is too long, but here's what happened on La Vida Lohan

ALi (Lindsey 2.0) is recording in Las Vegas. She's in the studio. The "producer" (she had a meeting with him in her bedroom a few weeks back) meets Dina, and 2.0 there. While she's waiting for a long while in the booth-thing to record his song. He's outside playing his music for the other folks in the studio. (yeah, he's there to "produce" her song.) He says he has a lot of stuff to do so 2.0 needs to pick up the pace.

Dina is concerned about his professionalism. (note to Dina - your daughter is 15 - you really shouldn't let her having meetings with guys in her bedroom, or let her dress like an 18 year old headed to work at the local Hooters!) By the way, at this point she mentions that she is a "professionally" trained dancer. Honestly, I might believe this if she threw the word "exotic" in front of it.)

2.0 starts recording, and decides that she doesn't like this song, and discusses this with her,ahem,"vocal coach". She says it sounds like it's written for a guy. Since Dina is busy showing the playmates "shoes" to her young son, and hitting the salon, she's not available to support 2.0. Jeremy gets bent out of shape because didn't come to Vegas just to record, he has other stuff to do. (Why does he have to wear the sunglasses indoors? it's not like he's a celebrity - even on the z-list.)

2.0 finally says she's not going to work with him. As an "artist", she doesn't "believe in the song". Well, since that's the issue, 2.0 should sing it anyway.

Oh and this is the week that Cody gets to meet the "girls next door" - Dina admits that they are big fans of the show. This explains alot. The "girls" are showing off their "shoes". What a great mom, that Dina. Enhancing those family values by watching E! channel together.


Next week - that crazy Cody really gets back at his mom - he "secretly" sets her up to dance in front of an audience!


here's a bonus: Since I was up late, caught another show about a nanny who gets kids in line: Triplets are in the throes of terrible twos. The parents want this to stop, so they try to placate the brats-in-training. (Mom's best comment was "we're both working, we don't have a lot of time to research what to do!") These kids could use the Dog Whisperer too! Hopefully Cesar can head over to this house after he finishes with Denise's mutts.


Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 15, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

I cannot stay and play today because work keeps getting in the way...(again!) The payoff is the beach tomorrow, with a real mojito!

I know this is too long, but here's what happened on La Vida Lohan

ALi (Lindsey 2.0) is recording in Las Vegas. She's in the studio. The "producer" (she had a meeting with him in her bedroom a few weeks back) meets Dina, and 2.0 there. While she's waiting for a long while in the booth-thing to record his song. He's outside playing his music for the other folks in the studio. (yeah, he's there to "produce" her song.) He says he has a lot of stuff to do so 2.0 needs to pick up the pace.

Dina is concerned about his professionalism. (note to Dina - your daughter is 15 - you really shouldn't let her having meetings with guys in her bedroom, or let her dress like an 18 year old headed to work at the local Hooters!) By the way, at this point she mentions that she is a "professionally" trained dancer. Honestly, I might believe this if she threw the word "exotic" in front of it.)

2.0 starts recording, and decides that she doesn't like this song, and discusses this with her,ahem,"vocal coach". She says it sounds like it's written for a guy. Since Dina is busy showing the playmates "shoes" to her young son, and hitting the salon, she's not available to support 2.0. Jeremy gets bent out of shape because didn't come to Vegas just to record, he has other stuff to do. (Why does he have to wear the sunglasses indoors? it's not like he's a celebrity - even on the z-list.)

2.0 finally says she's not going to work with him. As an "artist", she doesn't "believe in the song". Well, since that's the issue, 2.0 should sing it anyway.

Oh and this is the week that Cody gets to meet the "girls next door" - Dina admits that they are big fans of the show. This explains alot. The "girls" are showing off their "shoes". What a great mom, that Dina. Enhancing those family values by watching E! channel together.


Next week - that crazy Cody really gets back at his mom - he "secretly" sets her up to dance in front of an audience!


here's a bonus: Since I was up late, caught another show about a nanny who gets kids in line: Triplets are in the throes of terrible twos. The parents want this to stop, so they try to placate the brats-in-training. (Mom's best comment was "we're both working, we don't have a lot of time to research what to do!") These kids could use the Dog Whisperer too! Hopefully Cesar can head over to this house after he finishes with Denise's mutts.


Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 15, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

very sorry about the super long posting and doing it twice... please forgive me, and don't ban me from the island.

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 15, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Nicole and Keith are very classy people, and they're not about to pimp out photos of their baby, not even for charity. I respect them for this. They will be good parents who put their child's interests first.

Brangelina, in contrast, parade their children in front of the papparazzi and send out a press release every time they donate to something.

Posted by: PJ | July 15, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Yay Nicole and Keith! Way to show some class in the world of celeb reproduction.

I know I'm late to the party here, but it still freaks me out that Christian Bale, who I cannot find myself liking b/c of American Psycho, is Gloria Steinem's stepson.

Please, someone get Christina Ricci a sammich. She used to be so cute. Before she stopped eating.

Posted by: Californian | July 15, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

PJ

"Nicole and Keith are very classy people,"

And you know this because??

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

And you know this because??

*****
because she's related to karnac, that's how.

Posted by: ? | July 15, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

I thynk that recap of Living Lohan is not nice. The show shows Alli and her mom acting lieke normal poeopele. Theiy are jus like u and me. Dina is an exxcelent mom and alli is a gr8 singer and artist. u guyz r just jelus and wish u could be like alli and my second mom, dina.

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 15, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

luvlinsey, why don't you go luvlacey on OP? You and Lacey would really hit it off!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

I thynk that recap of Living Lohan is not nice. The show shows Alli and her mom acting lieke normal poeopele. Theiy are jus like u and me. Dina is an exxcelent mom and alli is a gr8 singer and artist. u guyz r just jelus and wish u could be like alli and my second mom, dina.

Posted by: luvlinsey | July 15, 2008 1:00 PM

**************************************

I hope this is an impostor, because if not it would seem that luvlinsey has given up and isn't even trying anymore.

Posted by: Dorkus | July 15, 2008 1:11 PM | Report abuse

why does the anonymous poster post anonymously? seems rather cowardly, to me anyway. if you believe it enough to type it, then sign your name. that's my motto

Posted by: janet's off to an eye appointment and wanted to get her 2 cents in | July 15, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

very sorry about the super long posting and doing it twice... please forgive me, and don't ban me from the island.

Posted by: anonymous lurker | July 15, 2008 12:17 PM

anonymous lurker ,
You do a great service and will never be banned from the island.

Posted by: petal who maybe over stepping her duties | July 15, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Also, props to Halle Berry who has said she won't take money for photos of her daughter and Usher (granted they're on the cover of Essence but I don't think he got paid millions for that probably the regular fee if there is one.)

Posted by: petal | July 15, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

"anonymous lurker" is an interesting Posted by: name.

Go for it.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | July 15, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Whether Uma's preggers or not, I'm just glad to see a beautiful female actor with a real body. Cellulite and all.

What I don't understand is why celebs just keep recycling each other's partners. Didn't Uma's fiancee have some kids with one of the supermodels? After the Ethan Hawke debacle, I thought perhaps she'd do better this time around.

What's with Lourdes' entourage, and why are female celebs always being guided by various hands holding theirs? Can they not walk on their own?

Posted by: Mystified by celebs | July 15, 2008 3:08 PM | Report abuse

What's with Lourdes' entourage, and why are female celebs always being guided by various hands holding theirs? Can they not walk on their own?

Posted by: Mystified by celebs | July 15, 2008 3:08 PM

----------------------------------------
Please explain how 5 people are an entourage when 2 are her father and father's girlfriend? The mean looking guy is probably a bodyguard, the other little girl, could be the girlfriend's daughter or just a friend. BTW, Lourdes will be 12 in Oct and she is not a celebrity, just a child of one.

Posted by: geesh | July 15, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Since the Eva Mendez site was banned at work, I had to look her up on Google News. She carried a knife during her "Angelina Jolie phase" which is defined as after she filmed a nude scene in a movie and during a controversial time.

I think we might have a new entry for the glossary.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 15, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

Don't you remember, the real luvlinsey got really upset on Friday because someone was posting as an impostor. Sunnydaze was still on vacation.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | July 15, 2008 10:32 AM

**********

A) I don't think that was the "real" luvlinsey last Friday (based on a careful, terribly scientific review of the writing style).

B) I think sunnydaze (and the others who were playfully implicated) realize that I was just having a little fun in their absence. Plus, I was "jelus" that they were on vacay and I was in the office.

Posted by: alex | July 15, 2008 4:08 PM | Report abuse

To Mystified: Uma Thurman's fiance, billionaire Arpad Busson, was involved with Elle Macpherson for many years. They had two sons together, but he never married her because he said he couldn't marry a divorced woman due to religious reasons. Elle is said to be miffed over his engagement to the twice-divorced Thurman.

Posted by: alex | July 15, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

dorkus=xenda=silly slash fangirls. Jake is too busy with Reese girls, get over it.

Posted by: carly | July 15, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse

carly, I Dorkus am male and have never posted as xenda.

Posted by: Chief Dorkus | July 15, 2008 4:23 PM | Report abuse

Who's 'carly' and what does s/he want?

Posted by: Curmudgeon gets out the broom and dustpan | July 15, 2008 4:30 PM | Report abuse

carly, I Dorkus am male and have never posted as xenda.

Posted by: Chief Dorkus | July 15, 2008 4:23 PM

Dorkus, then you are a geigh.

Posted by: carly | July 15, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Thanks anonymous lurker for the recap!!

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Carly, go home

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

Carly, you may not realize it, but you have just insulted the Creative Captioning king for the week - Gaius Dorkus Maximus.

Do it again and you'll get the ceremonial Celebritologist beat-down.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 15, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

Byoo, if it makes you feel better the rest of the world is afflicted with strange people
http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/main.asp?SectionID=6&SubSectionID=84&ArticleID=16944
Here in SW VA, we have the same writers/commenters afflicting our local paper. My favorite: upon reading that the US was considering ways to provide food to citizens of another country that risked starvation, a kind woman wrote that we should air-drop food packages that contained recognizable fast food items. Nothing makes you think that the US is your ally more than biting into a three-day-old Big Mac.

Posted by: Angela | July 15, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

lourdes was wearing leggings. a public flogging should be mandated, i don't care what her age.

Posted by: leggings give janet the willies | July 15, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

carly, Gaius Dorkus Maximus is also our chief. Insult him at your peril. In the meantime, just get off the island.

Posted by: alex thinks "Private Parts" is back as "carly" | July 15, 2008 5:26 PM | Report abuse

I see janet's back from her appointment. BTW, when does the name change to lagniappe become effective--or are you still mulling it over?

Posted by: alex | July 15, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Apparently, Lourdes Leon's bodyguard is John Goodman's uglier younger brother. He also appears to have purchased his shirt at the Tony Soprano auction.

Posted by: Dan | July 15, 2008 5:50 PM | Report abuse

Anyone still here?

Not a very busy day on Lizard Island, I see!

Posted by: hermespal | July 15, 2008 5:51 PM | Report abuse

We're all over at the comment box.

Posted by: Curmudge | July 15, 2008 5:53 PM | Report abuse

when does the name change to lagniappe become effective--or are you still mulling it over

>>>>
started mulling it over when someone wrote she couldn't remember who the new name belonged to all the time. i started thinking it might be unnecessary and just to stick w/my birth name and forget about trying to be funny or clever. can't keep up w/this crowd.
yes, back from the eye dr. have something called posterior vitreous detachment. arg. the joys of aging.

Posted by: janet ponders the meaning of eyes | July 15, 2008 6:17 PM | Report abuse

I really wanted to comment on Whoopi Goldberg's Broadway turn on roller skates in Xanadu...but I came up with nothing

until I saw this tidbit:

Reuters: Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" to open on Broadway in 2009.

I see Jessica Simpson and Whoopi Goldberg!

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | July 15, 2008 6:24 PM | Report abuse

whoopi played in the all star/celebrities softball game last night. she is actually a good player.

Posted by: whoopi impressed janet w/her softball skills | July 15, 2008 6:26 PM | Report abuse

Whoopi on skates in Xanadu sounds too much like Chris Elliot's musical "Zoo Animals on Wheels" from "Get a Life."

Posted by: Fancy Lad | July 15, 2008 6:31 PM | Report abuse

Ouch. Sorry. I looked that up and it didn't sound very nice--but it seems like something that happens fairly often. Glad you caught it and had it checked out.

Re the name. A number of people have changed their names, michael to Dorkus being one of the more recent. I think we'd get used to it, especially since we'd know you were Frankie's "mom."

(In the beginning of Celebritology time, I used to use a moniker that was more similar to my real name. I decided I wasn't comfortable with that so I switched. I actually didn't post very often, and then when other people started using names similar to alex I just quit for awhile altogether. I should probably go back to lurking--I'd get more work done, certainly!)

Posted by: alex to janet | July 15, 2008 6:31 PM | Report abuse

I should probably go back to lurking--I'd get more work done,
****
that's why i'm glad i work just for me. no one peering through emails, etc. i read this column and its comments for a long time before deciding to jump into the fray, so to speak. so many funny and witty people. i've laughed out loud. glad i'm here alone. the dogs will raise their heads and peer at me but thus far none of them think i'm a lunatic. they find me fascinating! ok, then lagniappe it will be. i'll work frankie into the mix somehow. she pestered me a bit ago. she wants to go see her hospice people. had to tell her not till thursday or friday. she's resigned.

Posted by: frankie is unhappy that she cannot go to hospice to visit until later this week | July 15, 2008 6:58 PM | Report abuse

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