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Celebritology 2.0: August 31, 2008 - September 6, 2008

Friday List: Celebrity Odd Couples

Perhaps it's because imagining the two of them together is akin to trying to choke down a sardine-Fluffernutter sandwich, but my jaw dropped an entire inch yesterday when I read the (undoubtedly false) rumor that Michael Jackson and Pam Anderson have been dating on the sly. What is it that forces one to recoil away from the thought of this pairing? Is it because he's been so irrevocably deformed by surgery -- or because she has? Or perhaps because Jacko is nothing like Tommy Lee and Pam just doesn't quite seem to be Michael's type? Or is it pondering how Pam's two young sons would factor into a combined Jackson-Anderson household that really makes the stomach lurch? True or not, there may not be a more mismatched or unlikely couple in the entire kingdom of celebrity -- and, trust me, there are some serious contenders for that title. F'rinstance,...

By Liz Kelly  | September 5, 2008; 12:30 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (86)
Categories:  Celebrities, Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: Lindsay Lohan Reportedly Turns Down Playboy Offer

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan turns down Playboy offer... In new book, Lynn Spears details daughter Britney's teen-aged boozing, sexing and drugging... Kanye West ends boycott of Video Music Awards; will close Sunday's show... Lance Armstrong says he doesn't date much... Naomi Watts shows off baby bump... Beyonce Knowles says she enjoyed gaining 20 pounds for movie role... Anthony Edwards returning to "ER" in final season... Akon appears to punch female fan at concert. Crime Watch: Man who burgled Kirsten Dunst's hotel room gets 4 1/2 years in prison. Rumor Mill: Carrie Underwood calls Jessica Simpson "fatter"... Amy Winehouse orders 48 bottles of Jack Daniels for weekend gig... Michael Phelps to get recurring role on "Entourage?"... Jewel's tour bus driver falls asleep at the wheel... Hugh Grant dating 27-year-old designer? Say What? "I think Alec should consider that some people in America may not want to watch a man who cusses...

By Liz Kelly  | September 5, 2008; 8:02 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (123)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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J. Lo: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Lopez with husband Marc Anthony and twins Max and Emme. (Getty Images) I've been puzzling for months over what to give Mr. Liz to celebrate our upcoming anniversary. He already has every "Simpsons" figure known to man and gift cards are just so impersonal. Then, this morning, inspiration came to me from the usual source: Jennifer Lopez: Two weeks before giving birth, Lopez commissioned a special gift for her husband -- a book of photos of herself. Says Lopez: "I was like, 'How am I going to rock this moment of my life? ... I felt very womanly. Marc was in a dream. He loved it." -- People.com My main goal when giving a gift is to feel womanly, of course. Thanks again, J. Lo, for really getting me. And for showing me that nothing speaks truth to a lifetime commitment like a self-referential gift. On Nov. 8, Mr....

By Liz Kelly  | September 4, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (76)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Britney to Open Sunday's VMAs with (Non-)Performance

Headlines: Britney Spears to open Sunday's Video Music Awards show (but not perform); still facing license trial... Jamie Lynn Spears sent care package to expectant teen mom Bristol Palin... Hillary Clinton is a "whiner," says Susan Sarandon... Star Jones dating chef... Kate Hudson says she and ex Chris Robinson still "basically live together"... Paris Hilton documentary debuts at Toronto film festival... Daniel Radcliffe needs to dial back the candor... David Spade is a dad... Usher plans tour exclusively for female audiences... Oprah's mom sued for outstanding $155,000 clothing bill. Crime Watch: Mackenzie Phillips charged in drug case, enters rehab. Rumor Mill: Angelina Jolie suffering from post-partum depression?... Sex addicted David Duchovny cheated on Tea Leoni, says National Enquirer... Michael Jackson dating Pam Anderson, according to imaginative British tabloid... Anne Hathaway loaned ex Raffaello Follieri thousands of dollars... Oprah to make "30 Rock" guest appearance? Chat Day: Join me at...

By Liz Kelly  | September 4, 2008; 8:00 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (112)
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Comment Box: In Which We Fail (Again) to Explain Carrot Top

Carrot Top: Why does he pluck his eyebrows? It's creepy. -- Anonymous question submitted to last week's Celebritology Live discussion. Those well-groomed eyebrows are just one small piece in the puzzle embodied by one Scott Thompson, aka Carrot Top. Since his emergence on the pop culture radar courtesy in the late '80s, Thompson has been an enigma -- not the seductive, mysterious type, either. His inexplicable draw is more akin to the mounting hysteria one feels when confronted with a bite from an exotic spider or inexplicable credit card charges. (Photo Illustration by Liz Kelly) "What is funny about a hacky prop comic?" we asked. "How far can his Huckleberry Bumpkin look actually take him?" Pretty far. After hanging on to a bottom-feeding career on the college campus circuit with stops along the way for a tepidly-received movie (1998's "Chairman of the Board"), he seemed finally to be consigned to...

By Liz Kelly  | September 3, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (82)
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Morning Mix: Lindsay Lohan Calls Palin Controversy 'Distracting'

Headlines: Lindsay Lohan uses MySpace to advise GOP VP nominee Sarah Palin... George Clooney raises beaucoup bucks for Obama at Geneva fundraiser... Jon Voight attends GOP convention... David Letterman says he wants to keep doing late night through 2010... Jennifer Aniston to play stalker on "30 Rock" episode... Joan Rivers says Angelina Jolie is "beautiful, but stupid"... Tiger Woods and wife expecting second child... Sandy "Pepa" Denton details violent relationships in new book... Paris Hilton says party lifestyle left her "empty"... "Smokey and the Bandit's" Jerry Reed dead at 71... Movie trailer voice Don LaFontaine dies... Cameron Diaz and Paul Sculfor get close at U.S. Open. Crime Watch: Surfers charged with battery for defending Matthew McConaughey from paparazzi. Rumor Mill: Hoping to break in to the lucrative kid actor field, K-Fed taking toddler sons to casting calls... "Gossip Girl's" Leighton Meester born in jail?... Anne Hathaway and Josh Lucas...

By Liz Kelly  | September 3, 2008; 8:25 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (91)
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Campaign Watch: Diddy Obama Blog No. 16

When Diddy talks, some people listen. Then some people laugh. (Image courtesy YouTube/Bad Boy Records) Regrettably, we missed the first 15 installments of Diddy's election season instructions to his minions. I'll be sure to catch up just as soon as I finish reading the archived musings of Courtney Love and watching Rosie O'Donnell's 2,992,342,101* stylist's chair video confessional. However, considering our recent debates on the relative merits of politically outspoken celebs, I was sure you'd want to get in on Diddy's counsel at this crucial moment in the race for the White House. Listen, we've heard what the usual suspects of opinion-making have to say and while Ruth Marcus does make a point, she doesn't really drop enough F-bombs to connect with me, the average voter. So, all I'm saying is give Diddy a chance. He's brushed aside distracting old-school devices -- like quoting from factual accounts or knowing...

By Liz Kelly  | September 2, 2008; 11:13 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (55)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Helen Mirren Says She 'Loved' Cocaine; Makes Critical Date Rape Remarks

Headlines: Helen Mirren criticized for date rape remarks; says she "loved" cocaine... Sick Amy Winehouse pulls out of Paris concert... James Gandolfini marries in Hawaii... Jude Law visits Afghanistan to promote peace... Natalie Portman wins humanitarian award at Venice film festival. Rumor Mill: Winehouse may have brain damage, say docs... Guy Ritchie says Russell Crowe not attached to Sherlock Holmes reboot... Woman claims to be secret granddaughter of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz... Kevin Spacey snapped getting wild at Croatian party (NSFW)... Rep says Mel Gibson's relationship with Russian musician is all business... Man claims J.Lo and Marc Anthony's dog attacked him... Madonna's dancers, crew set to walk off tour over shoddy treatment? Say What? "Think I'm walking stiffly? Yeah, there's a 120-pound actress on my back." -- Alec Baldwin describes one side effect of his re-ignited custody dispute with ex-wife Kim Bassinger. "We're all drunk. Only onstage can...

By Liz Kelly  | September 2, 2008; 8:33 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (94)
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