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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 08/27/2008

Celebrity Designer: Tara Reid's Bikini Line

By Liz Kelly

Tara Reid wants to dress you up in her love. (AP)

Did it start with George Foreman Grill or Paul Newman's salad dressing? Who can remember? At this point we are awash in celebrity-designed accoutrements. From Lindsay Lohan's leggings to Kate Hudson's possibly plagiarized hair goop, it is possible to outfit one's entire life with celebrity designed or endorsed products. Today, we look at yet another entrant in the celeb-turned-product marketer field.

From the mind of Tara Reid (which is, coincidentally, the one part of her body untouched by a surgeon's knife) comes her new fashion line, Mantra. And based on an initial peek at the beadazzled bikinis and studded T-shirts, Tara's mantra is "Cheap is the new black." Or, likelier still: "This will fund my umpteenth ab fix."

Only a few celebs have managed to score legitimacy in the fashion world. Gwen Stefani is the shiniest example with her tres cool L.A.M.B. line. Diddy's Sean John, Kimora Lee Simmons's Baby Phat also seem to be here to stay. But even Sarah Jessica Parker (aka Fashion Goddess) is having trouble getting her Bitten clothing line to catch fire (figuratively, that is). So what inspired Reid to jump into the fashion fray?

In her own words:

"It's about putting into the universe what you want in life: Red means love, pink is friendship, green is lucky, black is protection. You're gonna have a story when you wear this bikini or when you put this dress on: You'll either get love or meet a new friend or you might meet a guy."

I have no idea what that means, but let's all hope Reid herself has plenty of green.

And, not content to rest on her shallower-than-a-baby-pool image, the budding designer included deeper messages in a few pieces. Some of her new bikinis feature these Sandals/Hedonism-ready mantras: "Catch Me If You Can" and "Single and Ready to Mingle."

Reid told People she hasn't yet nailed down retail venues for her designs, which are priced to sell at $65 to $180). But allow me to chart Mantra's likely trajectory: From a wobbly launch at a few low-end trendy Hollywood boutiques to Dillards to the Burlington Coat Factory bargain bin to a humanitarian aid shipment to a third world country. Mark my words: This time next year, Mantra will be all the rage for "single and ready to mingle" Solomon Islanders.

By Liz Kelly  | August 27, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Celebrity Products  
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Comments

Awwww. Bless her little entrepreneurial heart. Tara's trying her darndest to make something of her life. She's just a small town girl with big dreams and tiny patches of cloth on strings.

Posted by: methinks | August 27, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

What about yellow, Tara Reid? What does yellow mean?

Posted by: byoolin points to the colour wheel. | August 27, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

umm...who is she again? Tara Reid? Why is she a celebrity?

Oh, and her bathing suits look cheap and tacky - but I didn't like Beyonce's stuff for children either.

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Is this color-coding like the gay bandana code? Will we all need to memorize which color means what, and will different accessories subtly change those meanings? Are the "mantras" going on all bikinis? What happens when the message ("Single and Ready to Mingle") conflict with the color (pink = friendship)?

Posted by: mouse, who needs to go read some Latin to revive her poor brain cells | August 27, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

How to Make a Bikini Top, by Tara Reid

1) take two small triangles of fabric

2) attach with string

3) add plastic beads from the craft table at the summer camp down the street

4) add $75 price tag

5) sell to TJ Maxx

Posted by: Osteph hopes she didn't make any spelling mistakes | August 27, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

"What about yellow, Tara Reid? What does yellow mean?"

Yellow means an elevated alert with siginificant chance of terrorist attacks. Be ever vigilant in bikini observation.

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | August 27, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

RE; Celebrity Fashion?

You're forgetting about that "Charlie's Angel" person who has a line of K-mart clothes.

Then there's Kathie Lee and her sweatshop clothing line (I can still picture Frank going up and down the aisles of the factory handing out dollar bills - not a pretty sight.).

Or what about that tacky jewelry . . .

Posted by: Curmudgeon forgot | August 27, 2008 11:34 AM | Report abuse

umm...who is she again? Tara Reid? Why is she a celebrity?

Oh, and her bathing suits look cheap and tacky - but I didn't like Beyonce's stuff for children either.

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 11:21 AM

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

I hope you're just being ironic, because if you really don't know who Tara Reid is than you are on the wrong blog.

And yes her swimwear line is cheap and tacky, because basically, thats Tara Reid.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Yellow means an elevated alert with significant chance of terrorist attacks. Be ever vigilant in bikini observation.

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | August 27, 2008 11:31 AM


***

So, if one of her breasts doesn't accidentally-on-purpose spill out, the terrorists have won, right?

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

"So, if one of her breasts doesn't accidentally-on-purpose spill out, the terrorists have won, right?"

That sounds correct to me, Byoolin.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 27, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

This will make dressing up as Tara Reid for Halloween just that much easier. Thanks, Tara Reid!

(Last year it was Sara Jessica Parker - outfit from Bitten plus the Flicka mask.)

Posted by: epony | August 27, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

So does the swimwear line compensate for lopsided breasts?

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 27, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Hey epony I was going to be SJP for Halloween as well but I couldn't find a horse costume in time.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 27, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Tara could get together with Janet Jackson and create a peekaboo line of bikinis. They just pop open when you least expect it, call it "the adventure".

Also, what does orange stand for? It's hard enough figuring out what to wear in the morning without having to keep what the colours mean in my head.

Posted by: petal | August 27, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

You're forgetting about that "Charlie's Angel" person who has a line of K-mart clothes.

-----

Hey, hey Curmudgeon..that would be Jaclyn Smith. And my three pairs of what would be known as my black "Jaclyn Smith KMart Pants" lasted through three years of waiting tables. Thems was some good quality (although never to be seen out of the restaurant or without an apron) pants!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Oops. Forgot my name - on the Jaclyn Smith pants.

Okay, this may be old news to everyone else, but if you don't put in a name, it now automatically makes you "Anonymous" - intersting...that would explain why I thought it was strange everyone was spelling the entire word out lately! :)

Posted by: Betty | August 27, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Don't pick on Amelia because she doesn't know who Tara Reid is (cried the woman who got picked on once because she didn't know who Ashley Tisdale was.) I respect Amelia even more (and I don't even know her) BECAUSE she doesn't know who Tara Reid is (or is at least ironic enough to pretend not to know.)

Yes, yes, too many parenthetical statements...whatever.

Posted by: methinks | August 27, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

Betty,

Do you suppose that the Tara Reid Orthopaedic Bikini ultimately will surpass the wearability of your Jac trou?

I can see it now, waitstaff at the best resort hotels wearing color-coded, liberally spangle studded celebrity fashion items from the couture house of Tata Reid.

woah. That thought is even too much for MY brain.

(nb: to spelling police - yeah, I know)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 27, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Please delete Curmudgeon's post at 12:01 for stupidity.

Posted by: liz please delete | August 27, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, "liz, please delete".

You're correct.

Stupid

Posted by: Mudge | August 27, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

So what would periwinkle mean? And puse and goldenrod and...

Posted by: EricS | August 27, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Who is "liz please delete" and why does he/she have it in for Curmudgeon? Isn't this the second such request/attack we've seen?

'Mudge, made any enemies lately?

In any case, take comfort; I know all about work-only-clothes, from "famous" people whose "designs" ended up at TJMaxx. And I thought your image of a tara reid line of resort-employee-wear was kinda inspired.

Posted by: WDC | August 27, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Tara Reid's bikini comes with a bi-sized top for women with lopsided breasts and a patented breast escape system called "The Boobie Hatch".

Posted by: Brutal wants Tara Reid to go away! | August 27, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

So what would periwinkle mean? And puse and goldenrod and...

Posted by: EricS | August 27, 2008 12:31 PM

****

Periwinkle is confusion.

Puce is "I've got cramps."

Goldenrod is "Liz, please delete."

And, petal, orange is thisclose to a homicidal rage. (Seems counterintuitive, I know, but Tara's the designer...)

Posted by: byoolin points to the colour wheel again. | August 27, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

--
"What about yellow, Tara Reid? What does yellow mean?"

Yellow means an elevated alert with siginificant chance of terrorist attacks. Be ever vigilant in bikini observation.
--

OMG, then what alert level was Hillary's pantsuit signaling last night?

Posted by: b | August 27, 2008 12:43 PM | Report abuse

it's as if byoolin was reading my mind!

Posted by: b | August 27, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Hillary's orange pantsuit meant "Bill's got cramps."

Posted by: possum | August 27, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

petal, you thought of the exact same thing I did. Tara and Ms Jackson could definitely put together an interesting line of "booby-trapped" bikinis.

Posted by: hodie tells Sasquatch "down boy" in advance | August 27, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Wait a minute....

The story said "From the mind of Tara Reid". I assume Liz has some tangible evidence that proves Tara Reid actually has a mind. This could be a case of sensationalistic journalism. I've never seen any proof that this girl has a mind. We're talking about a girl who "dropped a shoe" on a red carpet and someone other than her had to come in and help her put it back on.

Posted by: Brutal needs clarity | August 27, 2008 12:49 PM | Report abuse

We're talking about a girl who "dropped a shoe" on a red carpet and someone other than her had to come in and help her put it back on. - Posted by: Brutal needs clarity

****

Brutal, are you implying that we *shouldn't* give a break to a reasonably pretty girl who likes to expose her breasts?

Posted by: That doesn't sound like the kind of America byoolin wants to live in. | August 27, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

You all are quicker than I. I read, "Tara Reid's Bikini Line" and thought either she had a bad tan "line" or it was an unflattering cut for her aforementioned lopsided shoes. (Is today National Bad Plastic Surgery Day or something?)

And don't feel bad if you don't know who Tara Reid is. Other than having appeared in a bad movie or two (Van Wilder, maybe?!), she's still trying to figure out who she is, too. Lucky America.

What happens for bikinis in more than one color? Have one of you already addressed this? If a woman wore a plaid bikini in a Scottish red/green/black tartan, according to Tara that means she wants luck, love and protection.

Hmm. Luck, love, and protection -- maybe Paul McCartney should don a tartan bikini the next time he thinks "maybe I should date again."

Posted by: td | August 27, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

To be fair to Tara (I know, I know) she was unaware that her boob had popped out, maybe because she had had a botched boob job and that particular boob was supposedly somewhat mutilated. Hence the lopsided comments.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 1:04 PM | Report abuse

To be even more fair to Tara, she couldn't even feel that her "shoe" had dropped because she about 8 sheets to the wind.

Posted by: Dorkus who wants to live inbyoolin's America | August 27, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

To be even more fair to Tara, she couldn't even feel that her "shoe" had dropped because she about 8 sheets to the wind.

Posted by: Dorkus who wants to live inbyoolin's America | August 27, 2008 1:07 PM

"because she about 8 sheets to the wind."
That doesn't make any sense. Again, please check your grammar before hitting "submit." Thanks.


Posted by: grammar police | August 27, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Actually, Dorkus makes perfect sense because I can hear Tara saying just that, i.e., "Whoops sorry 'bout the malfunction I about 8 sheets to the wind!"

Posted by: td | August 27, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

The "was" was implied in Dorkus's comment. Anyone would know that.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 1:22 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, I'm all for pretty girls exposing their breasts. God Bless exposed breasts in America! All I want is tangible proof that Tara Reid has a mind! I've got to see the proof before I accept the truth.

Posted by: Brutal still needs clarity | August 27, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

"I've got to see the proof before I accept the truth."

Reverend Jackson?

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

another ring for Liz's Celebrity hell? borderlines, has beens, and wannabees who expose themselves "accidently" to create media buzz and attention? Could that be proof of a mind?

Posted by: hodie | August 27, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, methinks, b/c I was about to go cry with Nancy b/c everyone has been mean and mocking me for not knowing Tara Reid.

But now I know that Tara Reid is a person who had a bad plastic surgery experience and who exposes herself. Wow. She is amazing AND so unusual in today's celebrity world.

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Amelia, it's okay. Not everyone knows who every "celebrity" mentioned on this blog is. Some of us don't want to waste time that we can never get back googling some of these people. I just want for the comments to fill in the necessary knowledge. Then go bleach my brain, so I am ready for the next day's snark.

Posted by: ep | August 27, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

www.imdb.com is an invaluable resource for finding out more than you ever wanted to know about A-list to Z-list celebs.

Posted by: to Amelia | August 27, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

i wouldn't know who she is if she hadn't been on scrubs...

Posted by: b | August 27, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, methinks, b/c I was about to go cry with Nancy b/c everyone has been mean and mocking me for not knowing Tara Reid.

But now I know that Tara Reid is a person who had a bad plastic surgery experience and who exposes herself. Wow. She is amazing AND so unusual in today's celebrity world.

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 1:38 PM

Why oh why must you include an attack on me in your post? It breaks my heart that you and others feel the need to spew such hatred. I wish we all could just be gentle and nice to each other.

Posted by: Nancy | August 27, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

"I've got to see the proof before I accept the truth."

Reverend Jackson?

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 1:37 PM

I really felt an Al Sharpton vibe there!

Posted by: Brutal still wants Tara Reid to go away! | August 27, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

I know I shouldn't encourage it, but the Nancy post actually made me laugh. Maybe I need more sleep.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 27, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Tara Reid was the reason Stifler drank "The Pale Ale" at the beginning of the original American Pie! I guess she didn't feel it was appropriate to swallow in High School!

Posted by: Brutal | August 27, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, methinks, b/c I was about to go cry with Nancy b/c everyone has been mean and mocking me for not knowing Tara Reid...

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 1:38 PM

Why oh why must you include an attack on me in your post?...

Posted by: Nancy | August 27, 2008 1:57 PM

Nancy, dear, that wasn't an attack. Amelia was complimenting you.

Posted by: to Nancy | August 27, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Or "If the shoe won't fit, she must show a tit."

Posted by: rachelt | August 27, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Nancy, honey, I was reaching out to you with love b/c I finally understood why you cry all the time.

Until, of course, methinks and ep and "to Amelia" were all nice to me and made me feel better. Sorry they aren't nice to you, but they just like me better.

Posted by: Amelia | August 27, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

I would also like to add that Tara Reid was the drummer in Josie and the Pussy Cats.

Posted by: Dorkus who is now lost in thought s of Tara Reid in a cat suit | August 27, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

i actually dont hate tara that much at all, i feel bad for her. everyone makes so much fun of her. i'm not a "luvtara" type, but she really isn't THAT bad. she's just a party girl. i mean, look at some of the other "starlets" and hollywood celebs who have shot adult movies or been caught using narcotics.

Posted by: anon for this | August 27, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

I would also like to add that Tara Reid was the drummer in Josie and the Pussy Cats.

Posted by: Dorkus who is now lost in thought s of Tara Reid in a cat suit | August 27, 2008 2:10 PM

Careful Dorkus, too much of that will make you go blind.

Posted by: jes | August 27, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Every day, Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke peruses the Wall Street Journal, stock tickers, quarterly reports of the S&P 500, all the lastest reports from the Labor, Commerce and Treasury Departments in search of indicators that our economy is flagging.

When all he needs is to read People Magazine.

"Reid told People she hasn't yet nailed down retail venues for her designs, which are priced to sell at $65 to $180."

Listen, Chairman Ben, if a two-bit, ex-E Channel travel show host, former girlfriend of Carson Daly, very likely alcoholic, nymphomaniac, horrible actress can't find a store to sell her cheap bikinis, which would likely disintegrate upon any contact with water, not that that would bother anyone who would purchase that crap...

well I say we're officially in a recession.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 27, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

HATE seeing Paul Newman and Tara Reid in the same segment so MUST point out the big difference here and it's that Paul Newman gives all of the proceeds from Newman's Own to charity (some $220 million) and Tara is going to use any proceeds she may get from her "line" on spray tans and lipo...

Posted by: Smitty | August 27, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

I would also like to add that Tara Reid was the drummer in Josie and the Pussy Cats.

Posted by: Dorkus who is now lost in thought s of Tara Reid in a cat suit | August 27, 2008 2:10 PM

And don't forget her role in the Big Lebowski, in which most of her part was spent laying in a bikini poolside.

Posted by: bflogal | August 27, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Listen, Chairman Ben, if a two-bit, ex-E Channel travel show host, former girlfriend of Carson Daly, very likely alcoholic, nymphomaniac, horrible actress can't find a store to sell her cheap bikinis, which would likely disintegrate upon any contact with water, not that that would bother anyone who would purchase that crap...

well I say we're officially in a recession

Who needs a business/economics degree from Harvard?

Posted by: hodie had to pay over $4 for a SMALL box of Cheerios | August 27, 2008 2:54 PM | Report abuse

laying in a bikini poolside

Laying whom?

Posted by: Grammar Sheriff has a sense of humor about transitive verbs | August 27, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Laying whom?

Posted by: Grammar Sheriff has a sense of humor about transitive verbs | August 27, 2008 2:55 PM

************************************

EVERYONE!!!!!

Posted by: Dorkus | August 27, 2008 2:58 PM | Report abuse

Sounds like she was laying Mr. Poolside. I think he's that fat, hairy man in the undershirt who collects her rent.

Posted by: possum | August 27, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Laying whom?

Posted by: Grammar Sheriff has a sense of humor about transitive verbs | August 27, 2008 2:55 PM

Maybe the proper question is, Laying WHAT?

Posted by: cluck cluck | August 27, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

wait, who's wearing speedos?

Posted by: speedos? | August 27, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

. . . and shouldn't it be "lying" not "laying"?

Posted by: Watch your step Grammar Police | August 27, 2008 3:08 PM | Report abuse

. . . and shouldn't it be "lying" not "laying"?

Posted by: Watch your step Grammar Police | August 27, 2008 3:08 PM

It all depends on what Tara's actually doing. Or whom.

Posted by: Grammar Sheriff | August 27, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

anon for this, tara reid has done a sex tape and has been busted for drugs and alcohol. so, what's your point??? she's just as f'd up as the rest of hollywood. i think you just might luvtara.

Posted by: Brutal | August 27, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

no one is wearing speedos. none of us want to see all that, especially if you're not michael phelps.

Posted by: to speedos | August 27, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Grammar,

Yes, of course.

Good point.

Posted by: Watch your . . . | August 27, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for clearing that up Byoolin. I'm afraid to ask what burnt sienna means.

Hodie, I was surprised no one put that out there sooner.

Didn't Tara also act as an anthropologist or a paleontologist in that movie with Christian Slater?

Posted by: petal looking for her box of crayolas | August 27, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

See these type of blog comments are what we should be having. Civilized discussions, no hatred, and gentle discourse.

Posted by: Nancy | August 27, 2008 2:00 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 3:07 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin writes:
"So, if one of her breasts doesn't accidentally-on-purpose spill out, the terrorists have won, right?"
----------------------------------------
Or, in the would-be words of our esteemed POTUS:

"They hate us for our pop-out boobies."


Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Defamer sez that TSA sez they've arrested Mackenzie Phillips (Julie from One Day At A Time, for us oldsters) after preflight screening turned up "some baggies and balloons believed to contain heroin and cocaine."

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

"They hate us for our pop-out boobies."

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 3:26 PM

I wonder if they hate the British for their poop-out bobbies, too.

Posted by: hmm... | August 27, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

petal, "burnt sienna" means the arson investigators want to talk to Balthazar Getty.

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

WHAT is a poop-out bobbie??

Posted by: Sully | August 27, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

WHAT is a poop-out bobbie??

Posted by: Sully | August 27, 2008 3:31 PM

****

Think 'whack-a-mole' with diarhetic coppers, mate.

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

petal, "burnt sienna" means the arson investigators want to talk to Balthazar Getty.

Posted by: byoolin | August 27, 2008 3:29 PM

*********************************************

Darn you byoolin, you are going to get me into trouble for laughing so loud.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 27, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for that, byoolin.

And thanks to a completely innocent investigation as to different ways of spelling "whack-a-mole" for work a couple of weeks ago (perhaps you can see why I'm here most of the day), I now understand what the, um, urban definition of whack-a-mole is.

So, ew.

Posted by: Sully's giggle-fit is over, replaced by general nausea. | August 27, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse

"They hate us for our pop-out boobies."

Actually, I think the terrists just pretend to hate us for our pop-out boobies.

They don't get to see too many at home and are delighted that we have some they can share.

The interesting thing is that America's number one pop-out boobie is our very own POTUS.

Posted by: Curmudgeon out to work for a government think tank | August 27, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Sully writes:

" I now understand what the, um, urban definition of whack-a-mole is.

So, ew.

---------------------------------------------
Sully, I think I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing the urban dictionary definition of "whack a mole" and been none the worse for my ignorance.

Posted by: Sasquatch can't look at the chocolate cookies he had planned to eat for a snack | August 27, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

Well, Mudge, can you imagine POTUS saying,
"They hate us for our burnt sienna."?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Um, WTF?

David Gest and Michael Jackson have recorded an album of Robbie Burns' poems: "Gest's spokesman said the album is a modern musical take on some of Burns' classic poems, and... that he and Jackson were originally planning to do a musical about Burns's life, but decided instead to turn his poetry into show tunes."

"[Gest said] It's something we have always wanted to do…because he is our favourite poet."

"There are no current plans to release the recording as an album."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/aug/27/michael.jackson.david.gest.robertburns

Posted by: byoolin gaed a waefu' gate yestreen. | August 27, 2008 4:04 PM | Report abuse

wait - sully gave sasquatch a whack-a-mole? or was it curmudgeon?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 4:12 PM | Report abuse

Sully, I think I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing the urban dictionary definition of "whack a mole" and been none the worse for my ignorance.

Posted by: Sasquatch can't look at the chocolate cookies he had planned to eat for a snack | August 27, 2008 3:58 PM

Ditto

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 27, 2008 4:12 PM | Report abuse

Yikes, in that case the line could do without the burnt sienna.

Posted by: petal really should have a box of crayolas within reach | August 27, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch, I know your pain. I'm sorry you looked up the definition.

To the rest of you- ye be warned.

And if you do, blame byoolin.

Posted by: Sully | August 27, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Ye kent whe tha haggis is dane - it's a foine burnt sienna.

Posted by: McMudge laks Rabbie Burns her ownself | August 27, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Damn, the denizens are on a roll today! Excellent material all around.

Uhh, Anon@4:12, how did you get back here? I thought I flushed twice.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 4:22 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and to anon at 4:12- I certainly did not give ANYONE a whack-a-mole. I'm not sure that's even possible.

Posted by: Sully clears her name, thanks Sas for the reminder | August 27, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

How could we forget Cheryl Tiegs for Sears? Was she the first celebrity line?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 4:31 PM | Report abuse

If the mention of whack-a-mole diarettic bobbies wasn't enough to do it, Mudge's mention of haggis will have us all paying homage to the porcelain God.

Posted by: hodie, wishes dieting were only that easy | August 27, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

The biggest problem I see with the Tara Reid Mantra clothing line, can best be summed up by the recent quote from Nina Garcia on Project Runway: "Too short, too tight and too shiny = cheap." But I would also add to that, that Tara's stuff is boring. It certainly doesn't add anything new to the pantheon of bikini-wear.

On a related note, does anybody know if Lilo is managing to sell lots of her black leggings with the kneepads? I honestly thought these were a joke, but I see they are online for sale at $132 a pop. $132!

Re: the Tara Reid line, I don't think anyone at Dior is going to lose any sleep worrying about their latest competition.

As an aside: That was Tara playing Mrs. Lebowski in the Big Lebowski????

Posted by: NW DC | August 27, 2008 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and to anon at 4:12- I certainly did not give ANYONE a whack-a-mole. I'm not sure that's even possible.

Posted by: Sully clears her name, thanks Sas for the reminder | August 27, 2008 4:25 PM


did he give one to you? or to 'Mudge?
how was byoolin involved? i'm so confused!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 27, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

Woops. I inadvertently fed the troll.

Sorry, guys.

Posted by: Sully | August 27, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Mister Hankey, aka, Anon@4:39 asks :
"did he give one to you? or to 'Mudge?how was byoolin involved? i'm so confused!"
------------------------------------------
Being tapered on both ends probably has much to do with your confusion. Now be a good boy and get back onto the commode.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

HEY!

I just had a brainstorm! (feel the earth move?)

Why don't we introduce "Nancy" to Clay Aiken.

They can share stories about kittens, rainbows and, (I forget what else, ponies maybe?) whatever.

Posted by: Curmudgeon surprises even herself | August 27, 2008 5:09 PM | Report abuse

I feel the earth move under my feet
I feel the sky tumbling down tumbling down

Posted by: Carole King | August 27, 2008 5:13 PM | Report abuse

"[B]ut decided instead to turn [Robert Burns'] poetry into show tunes."

Oh for the love of GOD -- did T.S. Eliot and "Cats" teach us NOTHING?! How are you going to turn Robert Burns into show-frickin'-tunes?

"O, my Prince Michaelses are like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June.
O, my Blanket's like a melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune."

Insane. What's next? Oliver Stone's "Emily Dickinson" starring Tara Reid?

Posted by: td sees burnt-out ends of smoky days | August 27, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

"What's next? Oliver Stone's "Emily Dickinson" starring Tara Reid?"


$*%)$%@#**

There goes my keyboard! You OWE me, td!

Posted by: Sasquatch wipes the coffee of his mouth and salutes td | August 27, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

How are you going to turn Robert Burns into show-frickin'-tunes?

Owe, the Celticity!

Posted by: too much smame to type my name | August 27, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

You know, the idea of Tara Reid as Emily in the hands of Oliver Stone does hold possibilities -- but in a modernized Jane Austen/"Clueless" kinda way.

[ENTER EMILY, RECITING:]
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - oh, like WAIT. Feathers? OH! I don't mean "hope" -- I mean Waylon and Madame. Or Liberace. Or somebody else who is equally and determinedly bent on destroying my future reputation by calling me a sexless hermit!"

Posted by: td also apologizes to sasquatch | August 27, 2008 5:40 PM | Report abuse

The David Gest and Michael Jackson match-up just goes to show that there's someone for everyone.

It was inevitable that they find one another.

Posted by: Curmudgeon gives up | August 27, 2008 5:42 PM | Report abuse

td, I thought you said that you didn't have the chops for scriptwriting. I think you've underestimated your talent. This is good stuff!

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 27, 2008 5:45 PM | Report abuse

Wasn't Michael Jackson at David Gest's wedding to Liza-with-a-Z Minelli? Maybe even an honor attendant?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 27, 2008 5:46 PM | Report abuse

Ya know, if Tara has a bikini that says, "peri-menopausal non-embiggened marsupial-like creature with a drinking problem", I'm in.

Posted by: possum | August 27, 2008 5:48 PM | Report abuse

ALL THAT IS JUST STUPID

Posted by: CHRIS ADAMS | August 28, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

MAY I HAVE A FEW SRINGS OF YOUR RAGIDY CLOTHING SO I CAN MAKE SOMETHING OF IT

Posted by: CHRIS ADAMS FROM MADISONVILLE | August 28, 2008 9:17 AM | Report abuse

Amelia I KNOW YOU BUT DO U REMEMBER ME

Posted by: CHRIS ADAMS FROM MADISONVILLE,KY | August 28, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

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