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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/ 4/2008

Comment Box: Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Snarking

By Liz Kelly


Ladies and gentleman: Paris and Britney, circa 2006. Just 'cuz. (Cliff Sobel/Splash News)

Re: the McCain ad suggesting that Obama is little more than a celebrity in the same mold as the underpantsless ones: Are Paris the Heiress and Brit-Brit the Redneck Dems or Repubs? -- Submitted via last week's Celebritology Live discussion

Let's be honest here. Who really cares about the political leanings of vapid tabloid tarts when we could, duh, be talking about their latest romantic exploits, jail time, public meltdowns, up-skirt shots, and divorce settlements? I mean, it takes a person with some seriously misplaced priorities to start injecting presidential politics into a celebrity blog.

If I sound a little oversensitive on the matter, it's because I am. Here at Celebritology central, we're coming off of a rough week. Not only was our Comic-Con coverage met with a mixed response, Friday's call to help inject more celeb non sequiturs into presidential ads was greeted with all the gusto of a serial killer wielding an enema and a mandatory SAT test.

Point taken. I get that we're all about the snark here -- hence Celebritology's ongoing mission to serve up a daily dose of fodder for the ever-entertaining comment community. There's nothing quite so satisfying as nailing Gwyneth Paltrow for her insouciance or Tom Cruise for his inanity or Amy Winehouse for her insobriety, but I've seen flashes of brilliance and insight from that Celebritology community that make me downright proud to serve as the titular head (because we all know that you guys are just as important, if not more so, than me in this set up) of this band of quipsters.

For now, we'll leave politics in the capable hands of Dan Froomkin and The Trail crew, but continue to expect a mix of content from Celebritology -- from the rumor mill to celebrity interviews to the occasional pop culture phenom.

One caveat: If Paris Hilton walks on stage at Democratic or Republican conventions in a few weeks, all bets are off.

Creative Captioning Winners
Last week, I asked you to come up with a caption befitting this freaky deaky picture of Chris Martin -- Coldplay frontman and husband to the insouciant Gwyneth Paltrow (who is one mention away from a blog post hat trick). All entries available here.

1. Chris Martin reacts to the news that he and his wife 'owe it to humanity to have more children'. -- jes

2. As he begins his first song, Chris Martin surveys the carnage and realizes that hiring Jerry Lewis as his opening act was not a good idea. -- MoCoSnarky

3. Chris's world comes crashing down around him after he realizes that while he may have smelt it, he was NOT the one that dealt it. -- Rob

4. Chris Martin has just learn "Solvent Green is Apple." -- Susquanhanna Twps

5. While waiting in the receiving line for Her Majesty, The Queen, Chris Martin suddenly realizes that he's wearing pleated pants. -- Sasquatch

Comment of the Week: Mudge's perfectly cromulent take on the ever-expanding Celebritology glossary (after the jump)...

CELEBRITOLOGY UNIVERSE
Unabashed Glossary of Terms

Andy - the official kitty of the Celebritology Universe
Bagging the Viper - vulgar synonym for "knockin' boots" (see below)
Barfishious - describes the type of thoughts one has when contemplating Verne Troyer's sex video
Bawlmer - the Lizard Snark Shelter Safety Officer
Blowback - non-Lizard snark
Booby Kennedy Day (BKD) - a bodacious afternoon at the Celebritology Hut
1) In Addition to All Capitals and Exclamation Points, the Overuse of Capitalization of Words, Shall Henceforth Also Be a Factor for Determining Craziness.
2) The use of numbers in place of words (e.g., "2" for "two", "4" for "four" as in, "I am 2 cool 4 this") shall be a marker for consideration of BKD status
3) The "random" use of "quotation marks" for "no apparently good reason" shall be a "marker" for "consideration" of BKD status (Byoolin won't even mention the use of the word "toodles")
4) Any use of chatspeak, leetspeak, or any form of language in which clarity and correctness is sacrificed for speed is cause for a BKD nomination
Bootless Knockin' - the norm at Lizard Island (see also "Knockin' Boots" "Knockin' Ferragamos", below)
Boyzillion - the entire area of one's privacies after waxing (see "yetzillion" below)
Byoolin - the Babe Ruth (in a good way) of the Celebritology Universe
Carm down - a warning that is issued when passions rise too precipitously
Celebuspawn - what comes out when a celebrity foals
Celinedion - Lizard-speak for a popular scatological term; (e.g., "she has celinedion for brains" or "celinedion, I get that horrid Tom Cruise ad at the top of my page" or " . . . the current celinedion on TV right now" or "celinedion!"); a more dainty version of DaneCook
Cheetoes - what all B-list celebrity babies, and wannababies, are wearing this season
Clint Eastwood - grumpy old man
"Cogito ergo perfututa" - the official motto of the Celebrity Universe (sounds classy, doesn't it)
Commando raid - mischief effected by a band of Lizards, sometimes includes a rescue ladder
Contrafribularities - (1) apologies, consolation; (2) congratulations, applause, etc.
Cromulent - excellent, realistic, authentic
Cruisiness - the most obvious characteristic of a massive weirdo
DaneCook - a heftier version of celinedion; as in, "I feel so much better after taking that massive DaneCook"
DB Cooper - Sasquatch's former and much missed neighbor
Dingleberry waffles and Moose Turd Pie - the official brunch of the Celebri-Lizard Olympic Team
Doing the Funky Wiggle - what happens when LiLo breaks the one-at-a-time rule
Embiggen - to enlarge; to flesh-out (i.e., the results a boob job)
Empress Tea Lobby - the Lizard version of the Algonquin Round Table
Fatty - one who needs to carm down
Frumpy - to look like Rumer Wills wearing that slouchy beret thingy
Gecko - Curmudgeon's super secret undercover Lizard alias
Geigh - what Clay may or may not be; a cinaedus
Getting chocked up - what happens to Lizards when learning of their first ruined keyboard
Harangue the hairy one - this has something to do with Sasquatch
Harshing the snark - critiquing and otherwise criticizing Celebritology comments
Hater - someone with an opinion that differs from your own
Heincer - the couple name for Heidi and Spencer. ("[we] enjoy thinking of them as an object rather than people . . . no real people could ever be that dumb" -hr girl)
Hirsute - what Sasquatch is (aka Prince Hairy); a crytid
http://tinyurl.com/3zpqg4 - official URL of the Celebritology Universe (I don't get it. -- Liz)
Incestupus - (1) the appearance of being incestuous (cf, Billy Ray Cyrus and daughter, Miley Ray Cyrus, in the "Vanity Fair" photo spread); (2) what you call Miley's relationship with Billy Ray if you want to incite another BKD (see Booby Kennedy Day, above)
Kitchen pass - what a Lizard gets from the so/spouse to indulge in flights of bootylicious fancy about certain celebrity members of the opposite sex (geigh or neigh)
Knockin' boots - (1) bagging the viper; (2) celebrities being snarked
Knockin' Ferragamos - the same as knockin' boots only done by wealthy Italians (see above)
LiLo leggings - a part of the Lizard Commando Unit's uniform generally worn while going up the rescue ladder; most distinctive features are the padded knee pads and easy-open crotch seam
Lizard - a denizen of the Celebritology Universe
Lizard Island - sort of like Gilligan's Island only we know how to leave if we want
Lizard Island Bridge Of Death - people who want to cross onto Lizard Island would be given five - er, three - questions to answer. If they get 'em right, they're in, if not, well, it's a Bridge of Death, right?
Lizard Island's Fearless Leaders - a band of resolute and dissolute Lizards with important responsibilities or whatever on Lizard Island
Loh-blivious - a totally clueless Lizard
Luvlinsey - doesn't know how to spell linDsAy
Manhattan Project - a cunning Lizard plan that will remove Celebri-scum from the world once and for all, while maintaining Lizard Island's totally green footprint
Mean Mommy (MM) - a regular on the OP blog
Merkin - a larger, less refined, second cousin to a tumbleweave (see "tumbleweave" below)
Methinks - the Lizard with the initial pony fixation
Mike Rowe - the itinerant, wandering, meandering, or walking about hero of Lizards everywhere
Moobies - what jiggles on a man's chest when he is in need of a "bro"
Mooby Dick - a dysfunctional man-thing
Mr Liz - beloved consort of Queen Liz and co-keeper of the Kelly menagerie; it is thought that Mr Liz has the good sense to stay away from the Lizards
Neck-to-knee - Clay's personal grooming secret
Opracity - the extent to which a media figure tries to insert themselves into every aspect of popular culture (e.g., "Paris Hilton, while totally untalented, maintains an Opracity of 96 percent.")
Owe the humanity! - Lizard cry of abashment, grief, and chagrin
Page - the official pup of the Celebritology Universe
Pastafarian - one who worships at the altar of Ramen
Peep show - what the Thursday Celebritology Chat becomes after an hour of dueling hot links
Photo spread - what Britney and Paris provide onlookers when exiting from an auto
Placticated - what Katie Holmes seems to be in more recent times (i.e., the results of a nose job)
Pony - what every Lizard really really really wants (would be a unicorn if it had a horn in the middle of its forehead)
Pornorific - self-explanatory
Privacies - that which can remain protected by a pair of LiLo leggings (unless the crotch seam gives way)
Propper nacked - showing more skin than Miley Cyrus did in the "Vanity Fair" photo spread
Shamued - being squashed by a killer whale falling from a great height; a celebrity after being publicly humiliated (shamed)
Shibbi/shibby - hot, cool, partying, or wasted
Skank - a streetwalker
Skanque - (1) a call girl; (2) a French streetwalker
Skeleboobs - aka Victoria Posh Spice Beckham (see also TOAS)
SMAME - what Lizards hang their heads in
Snark - clever but keenly disparaging remarks about another organization, custom, or person (especially a celebrity)
Snarkfest - the Celebritology posting media
Snark shelter - where Lizards hide from attacks from the MMs (and TTTs for the faint of heart) and eat snacks
Snark tank - where a deserving celebrity is sent to be snarked limb from limb
Snarky - the essence of a clever, glib observation made by a Lizard
Speedos - snarky synonym for male privacies when seen on a beach or around a pool
Televizzle - where one watches that Pekinese rescue league thing
Texting 'Tweener Tw*t (TTT) - (1) ignorant middleschooler; (2) ignorant grownup
The Perfect Beckham - a six-pack and a brat
TOAS - T**'s On A Stick (see also Skeleboobs)
Transpostite - a low-life who impersonates a Lizard by cross-posting to other blogs, particularly the MM blog
"Troiana lacerta matribus contumeliosis tradita, pax restituta est." - breaking news announcement from the Lizard Post Organizer
Trojan Lizard - a cunning and artful Commando device used to infiltrate suspect territory; recently captured and taken to an undisclosed location awaiting ransom
Tumbleweave - an erstwhile hair extension living on its own in the big city; a smaller, more refined, second cousin to a merkin (see "merkin" above)
Unchoreographed flame - (1) an event in a John Woo film reminiscent of the campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles"; (2) any unexpected event
Wrestling the taco - something that Mrs Hogan might want her new boy toy to do
Yetzillion - the entire area of a cryptid's privacies after waxing (see "boyzillion" above)

-- Mudge

By Liz Kelly  | August 4, 2008; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Comment Box  
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Next: Morning Mix: Morgan Freeman in 'Good Spirits' After Crash

Comments

when i got to the term *knocking ferrigamos*, i thought of a certain male white presidential candidate and his stepford wife, and then i threw up in my mouth a little.

it's gonna take all day to get *that* image out of my head....

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

when i got to the term *knocking ferrigamos*, i thought of a certain male white presidential candidate and his stepford wife, and then i threw up in my mouth a little.

it's gonna take all day to get *that* image out of my head....

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:12 AM


gross. almost as nasty as thinking of lilo and sam ronson.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Fair enough, Liz, no more mixing business and politics, but in the event of a scandal romantically linking some old windbag congressman with [insert vapid tabloid tart here], well, you might have to relent or lose some traffic to Froomkin's blog.

Thanks for the glossary update!

Posted by: 44west | August 4, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

my apologies..... i'll stick to snark from now on.

as a means of atonement, i have a new term for the glossary:

Madroots: What a celeb gets when he/she decides to skip the usual color tuneup.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

[insert vapid tabloid tart here]

let's say Britney Spears ...

I think that would be incredibly juicy

Posted by: flutterbyjen | August 4, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

"Who really cares about the political leanings of vapid tabloid tarts when we could, duh, be talking about their latest romantic exploits, jail time, public meltdowns, up-skirt shots, and divorce settlements?"

On the other hand, we *do* remain interested in the up-skirt shots from the Obama and McCain campaigns.

Posted by: byoolin thinks it's the only sure way to know if McCain's really on the right. | August 4, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Liz, don't take it personally. We love you. We just come here to get away from the political sniping. By sniping at celebrities. Hmmmmm. Oh well.

As for Comic Con, I found it interesting even if there was not a lot to snark at. Although I am still waiting for my Lego swag.

Posted by: ep | August 4, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Morgan Freeman was in a bad wreck just south of here. He rolled his car in Tallahatchie County, Miss. and was taken here, to the Regional Medical Center at Memphis, but local TV hasn't found out his condition yet. He had a companion had to be cut out of the car.

http://www.wmctv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8783679

Send all your healing vibes down here!

Posted by: b has breaking news from Memphis | August 4, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

sorry, that should read that Freeman and a female companion had to be cut out of the car.

he's down here a lot, he's got a club in clarksdale, miss., and he's opening one here in memphis.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

"byoolin thinks it's the only sure way to know if McCain's really on the right."

Byool', is the direction in which a man dresses his Johnson a reliable indicator of his political leanings? It's certainly not an indicator of which gender team he would rather play on.

The only way to verify Byoolion's hypothesis is for the Lizards to collect crotch shots of male politicos to determine if a man's pointer doubles as his political compass.

Collect and display the entire set!

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

That's BYOOLIN, dammit.

Posted by: Sasquatch bites his opstreperous hand | August 4, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

More on Freeman... Another local tv is saying he was airlifted in critical condition. they think he fell asleep at the wheel.

http://www.wreg.com/global/story.asp?s=8783730

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

I don't know, Sasq, I kinda like Byoolion.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

is the byoolin theory going to work if a certain pol has a mooby?

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

That's BYOOLIN, dammit.

Posted by: Sasquatch bites his opstreperous hand | August 4, 2008 11:49 AM

*****

And that's "obstreperous," dagnabbit. You must have been typing one-handed there, right?

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

"You must have been typing one-handed there, right?

[blush]

Does the hand used have any relationship to political leanings?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

"is the byoolin theory going to work if a certain pol has a mooby?"

As long as it's not a stubby.

Posted by: Sasquatch Johnson watch | August 4, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

"You must have been typing one-handed there, right?

[blush]

Does the hand used have any relationship to political leanings?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 12:00 PM

The real question is, what is the other hand doing at the same time???

Posted by: i shudder to think | August 4, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

"The real question is, what is the other hand doing at the same time???"

Never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

I'm so verklempt at my Comment of the Week honor I can't bring up any snark on today's topic.

However, I'm sending mad healing vibes to Morgan Freeman.

Posted by: jes | August 4, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

see, I meant to say Creative Captioning honor.

Posted by: jes | August 4, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

healing chi sent from me to the Freeman and Applegate... they both seem awesome in my book...

Posted by: LTL | August 4, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

I liked the Comic Con coverage, especially the Dr. Horrible stuff! It's a cultural phenomenon!

Posted by: shinystuff | August 4, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Paris Hilton pimp out the whole 'vote or die' campaign for the last election?

And that she didn't vote?

Posted by: Norm | August 4, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

The love...I feel it. Also the funny. Between The Chief Lizardess' phrase
"was greeted with all the gusto of a serial killer wielding an enema and a mandatory SAT test"
and byoolin and Sasquatch discussing, er, "political leanings", I have laughed my migraine away. (Okay, maybe the Excedrin/espresso cocktail had something to do with that too.)

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 4, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

RE:

http://tinyurl.com/3zpqg4 - official URL of the Celebritology Universe (I don't get it. -- Liz)
===========================================

Byoolin sent this link. It's a photo of himself in full hockey regalia sans helmet and mouthguard.

Posted by: Mudge responds | August 4, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Madroots: What a celeb gets when he/she decides to skip the usual color tuneup.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 11:35 AM
=========================================

b,

How about "Madgeroots" instead of "madroots"?

Posted by: Curmudgeon is a regular Samuel Johnson (eeep - too political?) | August 4, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I think celebrity and politics can cross in this blog, but selectiveness is key. No posts of "So-and-so vows to throw support to whosit of the blahdeblah party": boring. Instead, we can focus on the unusual ("Hefner offers to turn Lincoln Bedroom into grotto for winning candidate"), the vaguely helpful ("Oprah offers to drive every registered voter to voting stations; says to look under seat for snacks and goody bag for the wait"), and the insane ("Local celebrity starts write-in campaign for Bullwinkle J. Moose").

That's the sort of politics worth reading. :D

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | August 4, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Hey Bawlmer, how went the Maine lake and woods trip? I hope you found nothing rotten in the town of Denmark.

Hmmm, a couple of years ago, while driving around Fryeburg, I spotted a local butcher with the following slogan on his signage"

"You can't beat our meat.
Or our prices."

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

mudge, that works! not that audio's coming to celebritology anytime soon, but if there's a pronunciation guide, emphasis should be on the madge...

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

b,

excellent point.

Hyphenation might help ("Madge-roots").

What do y'all think?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Despite the flaming I may incite, it appears to me that the glossary is further evidence that the Celebritology comment universe is verging on a lame-o high school cliche. I rarely post because so much has become an "in-joke" to the regular posters, plus they only respond to each others' comments. It makes me sad.

Posted by: CAB | August 4, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Despite the flaming I may incite, it appears to me that the glossary is further evidence that the Celebritology comment universe is verging on a lame-o high school cliche. I rarely post because so much has become an "in-joke" to the regular posters, plus they only respond to each others' comments. It makes me sad.

Posted by: CAB | August 4, 2008 1:00 PM

no flaming here CAB. i completely agree with you!

Posted by: vanni | August 4, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

CAB, don't be sad, be silly!
i come here to give myself a much needed silliness break. it's no more insider-oriented than any of the other blogs about... ever visited kos, wonkette or the achenblog? it's only natural for frequent and regular posters to "get to know each other" in the limited way you do on the internet. it's nice to be able to post somewhere and not have my comments graded to the extent they can be on other sites.

so i say, "come toward the lavalamp..."

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

I rarely post because so much has become an "in-joke" to the regular posters, plus they only respond to each others' comments. It makes me sad.

Posted by: CAB | August 4, 2008 1:00 PM
====

You're right. If you were a regular poster, I'd have something to say about your post.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 4, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

CAB | August 4, 2008 1:00 PM
=====================================

Sorry, CAB. We here in the Clebritology Hut revel in our lame-o snark.

If Lizards had to take one another seriously, it would be too much like the OP Blog. 'shudddder'

Just watch and lilsten for a day or so - you'll get the idea and begin to love it here.

Snark on, I say, snark on.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

I agree with CAB. The regulars have highjacked the blog with their self amusements. Maybe they should all just rent a hotel room and get it over with.

Posted by: yada yada | August 4, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Despite the flaming I may incite, it appears to me that the glossary is further evidence that the Celebritology comment universe is verging on a lame-o high school cliche. I rarely post because so much has become an "in-joke" to the regular posters, plus they only respond to each others' comments. It makes me sad.

Posted by: CAB | August 4, 2008 1:00 PM

Right on CAB. If these people are so nasty to complete strangers, I'd hate to meet one in person or -- God forbid! -- their spawn.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Morgan Freeman (he'll always be "Easy Reader" from the Electric Company to me...) was in the car crash LAST NIGHT.

Color me optimistic on this one. He was conscious and joking when they pulled him from the car. Nevertheless, who were those boobs on the side of the road taking cell phone pictures of a celebrity in a bad car crash? Let's hope we never see those pix.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 4, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

no hyphens.
that's just putting two words together. aren't you trying to creat one word?

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

"Come toward the lava lamp"

Early front-runner for posting of the week!

Posted by: Sasquatch was lucky not to be drinking coffee | August 4, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

no hyphens.
that's just putting two words together. aren't you trying to creat one word?

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 1:31 PM
=========================================

anitajohnson,

yes, but . . . which is easier to understand "Madgeroots" or Madge-roots"?

We don't want newbies to think we're speaking in code or anything.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

adding a hyphen would be like typing my name: a-nit-a-johnson. Then all the fun would be gone from trying to figure it out.

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 1:36 PM | Report abuse

Ever wonder why Sean (Diddy) Combs dropped the name "Puff Daddy"? Probably not. But just in case here's the P-Scoop. Comb's former football coach from Mount Saint Michael Academy recently told Steppin' Out magazine's Chaunce Hayden that Diddy would often be mocked by his fellow teammates because of his lack of muscle tone. "He was barley 150 pounds soaking wet," said the ex coach. So to enchance his girly A cup chest to more manly Double Diddy's, Combs would "PUFF" out his chest all day long. Hence the name Puff Daddy. Combs was always worried that story would get out and that's why he changed his name to simply, "Diddy."

Posted by: pdiddy scoop | August 4, 2008 1:36 PM | Report abuse

i am a newbie and i figured out most of the glossary terms.
please don't dummy down.

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

I gotta say, if I have to consult a glossary just to understand what you alls are talking about, then it's too much work. In which case I might as well just, you know, do my actual work instead of reading this stuff.

Posted by: arlington | August 4, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

TO: arlington

What other blog selflessly offers a glossary service?

Huh?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

You know, a simple bullet proof vest could solve both P Diddy Daddy's pectoral muscle deficiency and his proximity to flying bullet problem.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 4, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

"In which case I might as well just, you know, do my actual work instead of reading this stuff."

Hey Arlington, work on THIS!

Posted by: Work on THIS | August 4, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

What anitanohyphens & arlington said. The glossary should be for amusement purposes only ("Please," as Letterman would say, "no wagering").

The unabashed glossary is merely a tool/resource/diversion. It is not the raison d'être of Celebritology, if it can be said to have one.

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

We were all newbies at some time. You hang out, you read, eventually you post. Isn't that the way it works everywhere?

Posted by: jes | August 4, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Maybe there needs to be a way to rig links to the glossary? Sort of like how the Post articles have internal links, but not so random. That way, those unfamiliar with the terms can check them out, but they won't have to scroll through a whole list.

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | August 4, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

how did i get grouped in with arlington's statement?
i don't want the glossary to change. i love the snark
quite frankly, you don't need the glossary for most of it.
Please do not dummy down for the newbies. keep the dry humor!!!

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

The unabashed glossary is merely a tool/resource/diversion. It is not the raison d'être of Celebritology, if it can be said to have one.

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 1:54 PM

=========================================

here, here, byoolin!

the glossary is for kicks and giggles and to celebrate particularly clever turns of phrase.

it's fun to remember and also to now-and-again dig up a spot-on reference or comment(see "carm down" or "privacies" or "LiLo leggings").

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

90% of the glossary is barfoliciously bad and cost $.02.
But, 10% of the glossary is so good it is Priceless.
And you don't have to be a regular to understand what is going on.

Posted by: dw | August 4, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

"Nevertheless, who were those boobs on the side of the road taking cell phone pictures of a celebrity in a bad car crash? Let's hope we never see those pix."

MoCoSnarky,
That's how some bubbas roll in Miss-Hippy .... After a while, you kinda get used to it. Or not.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Hey, anitajohnson, I had you "grouped in" with arlington only in the sense that he/she seemed to be saying "let's not make it all about the glossary, let's keep it about the snark." It seemed to me the two of you were in agreement about that, and FWIW, I agree with that sentiment.

I'm also in full agreement with not dummying down. (The New Yorker has a good idea for what to do with dummies: http://www.newyorker.com/images/2008/08/11/cartoons/080811_cartoon_0_a13466_p465.gif)

Posted by: You'll never see a 'byoolin for dummies' book. Let 'em fend for themselves. | August 4, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Can I chime in for madgeroots, rather than Madge-roots? I prefer the unhyphenated version because it's more general -- you and I can aspire to madgeroots (if we get laid off from our jobs and can no longer afford our monthly Miss Clairol), but Madge-roots... well, ya gotta be Madge to pull off that look.

Posted by: BxNY | August 4, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

I loved the comic.con coverage. I hope you do it again. I really can't understand why more people didn't have an interest in it. But everybody has different interests. Could be a lot of people just didn't know what it is all about. Maybe next year you could explain ahead of time to all the people that follow your blog.

Posted by: Fairfax, VA | August 4, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

I'm still up in the air about the ComicCon coverage. Still, I like the idea of trying to put the celebrity snark spin on conventions. So I nominate Liz and Jen to be on the bus for the washingtonpost.com coverage of the Democratic and Republican conventions.

There Will Be Celebrities. And someone should drink their milkshakes.

So I'm sending off an email to Mr. Broccoli....

Posted by: MoCoSnarky knows it's not pronounced like Broccoli | August 4, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Snarky writes:
"There Will Be Celebrities. And someone should drink their milkshakes."

Why does Snarky's snark make me think of female celebs who are embiggened in a maternal way?

Byoolin, help me out here.

Posted by: Sasquatch boob watch | August 4, 2008 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Clearly, 'squatch did not see "There Might Be Blood." There was nothing embiggened in that milkshake scene.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, NOT bringing the boys to the yard | August 4, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin, help me out here.

Posted by: Sasquatch boob watch | August 4, 2008 2:44 PM

*****

Sorry, Sas, I am busy googling 'Angelina Jolie's twins.'

Posted by: byoolin's busy. Come back later. | August 4, 2008 2:49 PM | Report abuse

Can I chime in for madgeroots, rather than Madge-roots? I prefer the unhyphenated version because it's more general -- you and I can aspire to madgeroots (if we get laid off from our jobs and can no longer afford our monthly Miss Clairol), but Madge-roots... well, ya gotta be Madge to pull off that look.

Posted by: BxNY | August 4, 2008 2:22 PM


why are we discussing the merits of a made-up word by you "lizards"? seriously, didn't you guys READ the comments earlier today about how this blog is "verging on a lame-o high school cliche"??? this is becoming almost as bad as the OP blog!

Posted by: vanni | August 4, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

i think the sans-hyphens are in the majority.

sas,

not touching that!

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Here's the trouble with Madgeroots; it's too much like netroots, which makes me think of another blog that would drive some folks crazy with all its inside blog-speak.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, pro-hyphen | August 4, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

What about beetroots, cheroots, and Arrowroot?

Posted by: byoolin roots around for more. | August 4, 2008 3:00 PM | Report abuse

I didn't comment last week, but I LOVED the Comic Con coverage. I am a TV fan, so all of the glimpses of what's to come next season interest me enormously and the rest of the Con world has me fascinated. I am not fascinated enough to want to go to Comic Con, I just want to see what all of the people far geekier than I am are up to. I'm still waiting for the photo gallery of Comic Book Store look alikes :)

Posted by: Marissa | August 4, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

FYI, from our technology dept.:

"Starting at noon tomorrow, we'll be turning off comments on most post.com blogs for about 24 hours to allow for some sorely needed software upgrades and other maintenance.

So, get snarking while the snarking's good...

- Liz

Posted by: Liz Kelly | August 4, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

WOW 3 pm already -- I saw the Pam Anderson show last night. Not a big deal. Looked like a documentary.

One question about the yard sale: how/why does ANYone keep 16 mattresses in storage? and WHY would anyone buy used bikinis/panties from her? (ewwww!)

Posted by: anonymous lurker | August 4, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

I love the snark! Keep the snark coming!

I was able to astound my friends with the sheer amount of useless celebrity gossip and snark I know last week while on vacation in Maine.

Sasquatch, you'll be happy to know that nothing is rotten in Denmark, ME, except maybe some of the lunchmeat at Jim-Bob's. Everything else was lovely. Did not run into any celebrities, but did hear that the Prez and his family were hanging down in Kennebunkport, but that doesn't really count...

Posted by: B'More Cat and Maine Lover | August 4, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

why are we discussing the merits of a made-up word by you "lizards"? seriously, didn't you guys READ the comments earlier today about how this blog is "verging on a lame-o high school cliche"??? this is becoming almost as bad as the OP blog!

Posted by: vanni | August 4, 2008 2:51 PM

Are you kidding me?!?!? This blog is way more civilized than OP. The problem with OP and the former OB is that those people took themselves seriously. This blog is just plain fun.

Posted by: SE | August 4, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

I vote for "roto-roots" (or rotoroots)

Posted by: CJB | August 4, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

how about that "John Stamos plants one on Cloris Leachnman" pic?
Would love to hear (read) some snark...
and maybe even some more glossary words...

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 3:18 PM | Report abuse

Byool, if you're done with Angelina's twins, would you mind sending me the URL so i can get busy?

Posted by: Sasquatch has idle hands | August 4, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

why are we discussing the merits of a made-up word by you "lizards"? seriously, didn't you guys READ the comments earlier today about how this blog is "verging on a lame-o high school cliche"??? this is becoming almost as bad as the OP blog!

Posted by: vanni | August 4, 2008 2:51 PM

---------------------------------------

AARGH! For the love of all that is Daniel Craig, you don't have to play.

Posted by: you don't have to play in our little reindeer games | August 4, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Aaargh limited snarking tomorrow. I can feel the withdrawal symptoms already.

Unhyphenated as it could apply to anyone.

All the people who are sniping that we are too insular are just mad because they didn't automatically become the most popular person by showing up. We are very welcoming to new people who SNARK, but avoid whining and causing trouble.

Posted by: ep | August 4, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

"why are we discussing the merits of a made-up word by you "lizards"? seriously, didn't you guys READ the comments earlier today about how this blog is "verging on a lame-o high school cliche"??? this is becoming almost as bad as the OP blog!"

Isn't this the same vanni who criticized atb on the OP Blog earlier today?

Vanni, I got lunch for you, RIGHT HERE.

Posted by: Lunch on THIS | August 4, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

...and WHY would anyone buy used bikinis/panties from [Pamela Anderson]? (ewwww!)

Posted by: anonymous lurker | August 4, 2008 3:11 PM

*********

Are you kidding me? Who knew she even *wore* panties? Better snatch 'em up before these collector's items are sold out *forever*!

Posted by: byoolin can practically smell the profits already. | August 4, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

I loved the Comic-Con coverage.

I am indifferent to both madgeroots and Madge-roots, but have always been intrigued by references of cheroots (sounds so Rhett Butler).

Aside from the terminology, tho, I agree with the question. How can this woman have roots that bad? Can't she knock off one hour every 2 weeks from her exercise, Kaballah (sp?), A-Rod regimen to fit in a root touch-up?

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Owe, the SMAME!

As the poster guilty of posting the question flamed at the top of this page, I'd like to quote my fellow (sister?) Lizard Bawlmer, who experienced a similar fate a few weeks ago:

"I am stuck between glee that my submission inspired a whole Comment Box article and smame at Liz's fiery response. Ow."

My question was intended to be innocent, not partisan: both Paris and Britney come from demographic groups (wealthy heiresses, southern whites) that would seem likely to support Senator McCain's candidacy, so it appear ironic for the ad to equate Senator Obama to them. I agree with those who have already commented that Kathy Hilton made a good point re this commercial.

Curiously, Liz's disdain for politically-oriented snark loses some of its punch in view of her Friday List topic, Casting a Celeb-Centric Presidential Campaign Ad.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 4, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

so it appears ironic

Owe, the perils of rewriting, when typos sneak into once pristine text.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 4, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

"byoolin can practically smell the profits already."

Not to be crabby, but I suspect you're scratching an itch, there. Does Pamela Anderson have thongs of fans who pant for her panties?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

"Isn't this the same vanni who criticized atb on the OP Blog earlier today?

Vanni, I got lunch for you, RIGHT HERE."

LMAO
how about lunchroot?
(i crack myself up)

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

This turning off of comments thing can't be good: we'll all go back to mumbling our [alleged, say some] witticisms to ourselves at our desks, leaving our colleagues to wonder why our atypical Tourette's Syndrome seems to have suddenly returned.

***

Isn't "John Stamos plants one on Cloris Leachnman" part of Saget's version of "The Aristocrats"?

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 3:44 PM | Report abuse

Damnit, now I have to play the ignorant card. Not familiar with The Aristocrats enough to get that one.
I am sure it was very funny, though.

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

anitajayjohnsonjunior, "The Aristocrats" is a filthy, filthy, filthy joke that comics tell one another. A 2005 documentary of the same name features a bunch of comedians doing their versions. Saget's is among the filthiest.

This is NSFW for anyone who doesn't work in a brothel (assuming the youtoobers haven't taken it down): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfRJSmrQSDk

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

Didn't "oyalist" make this week's cut on the Lizard dictionary?

Posted by: Nosy Parker sniffles softly in the corner | August 4, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Just to be clear: it's a FILTHY joke.

Posted by: byoolin feels all warm and tingly when he imagines Sara Silverman telling it. | August 4, 2008 3:57 PM | Report abuse

I'm wondering what kind of "new features" we'll experience once the blog software is updated.

Will Macs be incompatible?

Will registration be required?

Will there be new blocks?

Will the new release include a coupon good for a free beverage at the Lizard Island Tiki Bar?

Will Homeland Security automatically be notified if certain phrases are used?

Will the MMs be utterly hunted down and destroyed if they try to post nastygrams to this site?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

thank you, i will check it out "tonight".
then when the snarketh continueth after the "updates" i may be able to "use" "it" again. i love innuendo.

Posted by: anitajohnsonjunior | August 4, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

We were all newbies at some time. You hang out, you read, eventually you post. Isn't that the way it works everywhere?

Posted by: jes | August 4, 2008 1:55 PM


That IS the way it works everywhere. Unless you were there the second the message board or comments section started, you just gotta jump in midstream & try to hang on or you're gonna drown in the Sea of Snark.

Posted by: Bored @ work | August 4, 2008 4:06 PM | Report abuse

Fans of George Carlin will smile as George explains the comedic culture behind blue humor and The Aristocrats, in particular.

As I recall, Penn & Teller advertised The Aristocrats as the only NC17 movie ever made that contained neither sex nor violence.

True.

The movie was a documentary format of various comedians telling their versions of the infamous Aristocrats joke, and explaining the culture behind it.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

is the original Aristocrats joke too dirty and/or long to post here?

Posted by: anitajohnson needs to know | August 4, 2008 4:12 PM | Report abuse

Here's the Wiki on the joke. Note that the joke is an ad-lib, so there are as many variations of it as there are comedians with filthy minds:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_(joke)

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:15 PM | Report abuse

The Aristocrats, that's the one with the singing cats, right?

Posted by: Dorkus who has decided to stop working for the day | August 4, 2008 4:16 PM | Report abuse

This joke almost always has these elements--alternative versions may change this form, but such versions tend to assume that the audience is already familiar with the joke:

The setup: The joke always begins with a family act going in to see a talent agent.
Those who meet the agent can include the whole family, or just one family member (usually the father).
The agent asks (sometimes after saying that he is not interested, and a plea from the father) what they do.
If the whole family is present, the act may be performed for the agent, rather than described.
There is also the possibility of a neutral observer telling the tale of seeing the performance to the talent agent.
The act: It is described in as much detail as the teller prefers.
While most tellings follow one of a few basic forms, the description of the act is meant to be an ad lib.
Traditionally, the description is crude, tasteless, and ribald. The goal is to cross social boundaries, and acts such as incest, pedophilia, coprophilia, zoophilia, and murder are common themes.
The punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is "The Aristocrats!"
The punchline may be modified in some variants, but generally such variants are told only in a context where the original joke is known.
Because the sense of what an aristocrat is has faded in many countries, the final line may simply be seen as the end of a rather bawdy joke rather than a punchline. In some regions the name of the act is "The Sophisticates" or "The Debonaires".

Posted by: from wikipedia | August 4, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

"The Aristocrats, that's the one with the singing cats, right?"

I thought it was singing tacos.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

"The Aristocrats, that's the one with the singing cats, right?"

I thought it was singing tacos.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:20 PM

************************************

Depends on who's telling the joke

Posted by: Dorkus | August 4, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse

All I know is it's so filthy that it's almost worth entering the priesthood just to be able to tell it once from the altar.

Posted by: Raise your hands if you want to see Fr. byoolin excommunicated. | August 4, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

http://www.thearistocrats.com/

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

i like the word 'madgeroots.' no hyphen. whoever thought of it is a genius and i love them forever.

my compliments to 'mudge for keeping up with the glossary. you are a genius and i love you forever.

byoolin, you are a dirty-minded, genius snarker of the first degree and i love you forever.

tiki bar's open...

Posted by: methinks | August 4, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

I wouldn't be surprised if the "upgrade" includes automatically posting your WaPo user name. Like what happens when you comment on an article.

Posted by: anon for another day | August 4, 2008 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, methinks. I'll be sure to give you pride of place when I tell 'The Aristocrats' at St. Paul's Basilica.

Posted by: byoolin | August 4, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Would those be he tacos or she tacos, Sas?

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

methinks is spreading the lurve. I think the tiki bar's actually been open for awhile; she just forgot to invite us in!

Line 'em up, methinks!

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Rev Byoolin et al,

Did you know that there's a difference between a church, a cathedral, and a basilica?

I say, play them all.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

"As I recall, Penn & Teller advertised The Aristocrats as the only NC17 movie ever made that contained neither sex nor violence."

As I recall, The Aristocrats was the only NC17 movie to contain a shot of Phyllis Diller's nipples.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, imagining Byoolin running for his DVD player | August 4, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

As I recall, The Aristocrats was the only NC17 movie to contain a shot of Phyllis Diller's nipples.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, imagining Byoolin running for his DVD player | August 4, 2008 4:33 PM

*******************************************

I didn't need to read that while taking a drink of water. One keyboard please!

And yes I knew the difference between a church, cathedral, and basilica.

Posted by: Dorkus, who once considered the preisthood | August 4, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

Thank you for the Wik.
Duh! (on my part) I guess I just never made the synapse leap in my head.

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

"Raise your hands if you want to see Fr. byoolin excommunicated"

Step away from that altar boy!

Posted by: Sasquatch raises both hands, but doesn't bend over | August 4, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

In the photo of Britney and Pareee at the top of the page, what's Brit clutching in her left hand?

(At first I thought it was the top of her boob.)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

I thought after CAB's comments and the others chiming in to agree that we were gonna do away with the whole "lizard" and "Celeb Island" references. Its so high school-ish.

Posted by: nothanks | August 4, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus--isn't engineering pretty close to the priesthood?

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Phyllis Diller's areola!!! - I am so outta here. I hate that burn after you throw up in your own mouth (as opposed to throwing up in someone else's mouth, I suppose.)

Posted by: anitajohnson | August 4, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Oh, wait, never mind - it's Britney clutching Pareee's hand, which is clutching the top of Brit's boob.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

Thinking can be a problem, nothanks. Especially when you think inappropriately.

Have a drink at the Tiki Bar.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Mudge asks:"Did you know that there's a difference between a church, a cathedral, and a basilica?"

Sure, it all has to do with the inte4rior space. For example:

Church = ScarJo's hoohah
Cathedral = Britney's hoohah
Basilica = Pamela Anderson's hoohah

Posted by: Sasquatch knows the difference | August 4, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

'Mudge--Paris's hand looks very large, too. I knew she had freakishly big feet for someone her size (she wears something like a size 11 or 12 shoe, and a size 1 dress). I guess her hands were irradiated, too.

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus--isn't engineering pretty close to the priesthood?

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 4:40 PM

*******************************************

Well, only in the sense of being in a cloistered environment with no interaction with the opposite sex, pedantically studying extremely old books looking for insights into solving the problems of the world.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 4, 2008 4:48 PM | Report abuse

"Paris's hand looks very large, "

You know what they say: "Large hands = large ****"

Paris = St. Peter's Basilica

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

watch out guys. look what was just posted on OP:

Smack down tonight. The Mean Mommies versus the Loser Lizards.

My money is on the mommies.

Posted by: | August 4, 2008 4:54 PM

Posted by: uh oh | August 4, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

"Sasquatch knows the difference | August 4, 2008 4:46 PM "

I'm not touching that comment with a 10-foot fork.

But thanks for the explanation . . . using examples is an excellent teaching tool.

Posted by: Mudge | August 4, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Mudge writes:

"But thanks for the explanation . . . using examples is an excellent teaching tool."

Dominus vobis cum.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

And cum your spiri too tooo oh.

Posted by: Mudge | August 4, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

"But thanks for the explanation . . . using examples is an excellent teaching tool."

But Mudge, what is it's the metaphysical fork in the road?

Posted by: Sasquatch genuflects in the firection of Yogi Berra | August 4, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

This is just heartbreaking. Why can't we all just get along? It used to be such a nice blog, but the meanies have ruined it. Sob.

Posted by: Donna | August 4, 2008 5:10 PM


I agree Donna. I can't read this blog anymore without crying. Everyone is so hurtful to everyone and call people names. I wish people would just be kind. What kind of world are we raising our precious children in?

Posted by: Nancy | August 4, 2008 5:16 PM

Donna - how are you doing otherwise? Are you ok after finding out that your husband is having an affair with your brother?

Posted by: Nancy | August 4, 2008 5:17 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

Sas,

metaphysical fork in the road?

mmm, maybe, um . . . I know!

"The Gates of Hell"

Posted by: Mudge, the Imprimatur | August 4, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Please, for the love of god, who ever is cutting and pasting posts from this blog and posting them in other blogs, stop. We, in the other blogs are fairly smart people, we know how to navigate our way between the different Wapo blogs.

I am asking nicely, without using any snark or meaness...Just. Please. Stop.

Posted by: | August 4, 2008 5:23 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, I was thinking more along these lines:

http://zippythepinhead.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=ZTP&Product_Code=12-Sep-05&Category_Code=

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 5:29 PM | Report abuse

uuhhh, try this URL. It works better:

http://zippythepinhead.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/2005/images/091205.gif

Posted by: Dumb Sasquatch | August 4, 2008 5:30 PM | Report abuse

Not to pimp the competition, but did anyone read the NYT magazine article on trolls?

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html

It sort of explains what happens around here, although what it's talking about is a bit more twisted.

Posted by: b | August 4, 2008 5:31 PM | Report abuse

Understanding Yogi Berra takes a special golssary that I do not have at my fingertips.

Except that he was sooooo correct when he noted that, "it ain't over 'till it's over".

'sigh'

Posted by: Mudge | August 4, 2008 5:35 PM | Report abuse

Are you ok after finding out that your husband is having an affair with your brother?

I'll be okay. I just want them to be happy, and guess that it's better if we keep it all in the family. My Sister in law has been really supportive and helpful. We are thinking that a little partner swap will fix it all for us. I love happy endings.


Posted by: Donna | August 4, 2008 5:21 PM

Donna, what an exemplary attitude! Please keep us apprised of the status of the swap. Pictures would be a definite plus!

Posted by: Swap Shop | August 4, 2008 5:33 PM

"We are thinking that a little partner swap will fix it all for us."


Just when we thought Donna had nothing to offer, she comes up with a tip for easing the stress in our busy lives.

Partner swapping. Go figure.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 4, 2008 5:38 PM | Report abuse

If there was such a thing as hell, and if demons were real, I think that trolls would be little demons from hell sent on a mission to create conflict, strife, discord, enmity, and confusion. Cyberspace is the perfect venue for lackeys of the underworld.

Posted by: Emily | August 4, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Yogi is so prescient that years ago he came up with a response to Internet trolls:

"Never answer an anonymous letter"

From http://www.yogiberra.com/yogi-isms.html

Posted by: Sasquatch genuflects in the direction of Yogi Berra | August 4, 2008 6:00 PM | Report abuse

I am horrified at the tack this conversation has taken.

Swapping indeed. tsk, tsk, tsk

Back to the convent with me.

Posted by: Sister Mary Curmudgeon | August 4, 2008 6:00 PM | Report abuse

Posted by: Sasquatch genuflects in the firection of Yogi Berra | August 4, 2008 5:17 PM

******

OK--wasn't someone going to have a talk with Sasquatch about having firections on this blog?

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 6:05 PM | Report abuse

You mean an "Unchoreographed flame"?

Posted by: Nosy Parker is trying to concentrate on the celebritology | August 4, 2008 6:07 PM | Report abuse

Firection? Is that missing from the glossary.

Maybe chewey wants to join the orgy on the OP blog? They seem to be looking for firection.

Posted by: Emily | August 4, 2008 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Prediction: What with the Post set to turn off its comments capacity for 24 hours starting at noon tomorrow, work productivity will leap after lunch tomorrow.

Posted by: With this, Nosy Parker is off to dinner | August 4, 2008 6:14 PM | Report abuse

"firection" was another one of my %*^#ing dyslexic typos that I tried too late to catch and fix. But if my typos and unchoreographed flames make you guys laugh, excellent.

Posted by: Sasquatch needs to quit playing switch when typing | August 4, 2008 6:18 PM | Report abuse

I LIVE for your typos, Sas. (Yes, my life is that barren.)

I don't know why my typos end up being just the run-of-the-mill errors, but even your mistakes (tacos with gender, firections) are hilarious.

Keep up the good work.

Posted by: alex | August 4, 2008 6:56 PM | Report abuse

its not only partner swapping on the OP but some of the MM's husbands have been hooking up.

Posted by: my gawd | August 4, 2008 7:31 PM | Report abuse

My best friend Molly is an open-mineded single girl who love sports. She told me she met a black man at a dating club named ((((((((+++++==== Black White Meet . com====+++++++=))))))))) recently. She said they are happy now since both of them like sports and they all think love is color blind. Black & White singles, will you find your match online? Do you belive online dating and love?

Posted by: sally | August 5, 2008 3:45 AM | Report abuse

Is the moratorium on political topics still on, or is it safe to mention that atrocious...uhh, I mean insouciant...ad from Democrats Abroad?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amukRM9SSoo

The funny thing is that Gwynnie is a much worse actress than the regular schmoes.

Posted by: LittleMissMuskrat | August 5, 2008 8:17 AM | Report abuse

Please, if you are going to make a Soylent Green joke in Creative Captioning (and name said joke one of the winners), please make sure that the joke makes sense. I mean what is "solvent green"? Perhaps I just outed myself as someone who likes the comic-con coverage??? Passed (or failed) that nerd test with flying colors.

Posted by: haleyaurora76 | August 5, 2008 8:33 AM | Report abuse

Finally, haleyaurora76

You are correct, the name of the movie and the name of the people food is SOYLENT GREEN, not solvent. I wondered if anyone else was going to point that out.
Chuck Heston yelling as he is carted off to the plant to be made into Soylent Green.
"Soleny Green is people!"

Posted by: dw | August 5, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

And then I screw up.
Soylent not Soleny

Posted by: dw | August 5, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

LIZ, PLEASE REMOVE THIS SPAM LISTING:
sally | August 5, 2008 3:45 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 5, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

hobart s model 2912ps
ricky ullman professional photo shoots

Posted by: Shelley-xo | August 7, 2008 8:08 AM | Report abuse

nso Een plaatje zegt alles, toch ? fmi Het volledige rapport is hier te vinden. Lees natuurlijk x de blogposting. i e
Thanks for interesting post! qjr
[url=http://skuper.ru]ламинат[/url] 7l

Posted by: ламинат | August 13, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

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