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Posted at 10:01 AM ET, 08/21/2008

David Hasselhoff: Social Networking Pioneer

By Liz Kelly

David Hasselhoff, the new center of your universe. (AP)

David Hasselhoff may not be up for a Nobel prize, but if it were up to me, I'd give him that Nobel resting on a bed of Emmys crowned by a diamond-encrusted "HOFF" fabricated from the melted-down ore used in Michael Phelps's Olympic gold medals.

The Hoff has effectively put economists, physicists, his fellow acting community and world-class athletes to shame by hatching this ingenious idea for a forum -- a "social networking" site -- where fans of Himself can congregate to exchange Hoff stories, share varying degrees of Hoff-mania and, under the rubric of a love for all things Hasselhoffian, "make the world a better place." I kid you not, here's Hoff's introduction to his latest brainstorm, geniusly named "Hoffspace":

So I decided to start a network where people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me. Where it will lead, I don't know but the world would be a better place if everyone talked a little more to each other...

As of this morning, HoffSpace counted 13,953 members furiously posting and friending each other, each one doing his part to fulfill David's vision of a world united in worship of him. Should Hoff have a role in the new "Knight Rider?" What's the proper placement of a Hasselhoff tribute tattoo? While we sit behind our computers lazily contemplating the election and the escalating crisis in Georgia, Hasselhoff fans from Austria to England are putting aside their differences, living in a newly enlightened world. Below, a few representative (and unedited) postings:

-- ma hoffster and proud off ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

-- i want to bury myself on his furry manchest

-- i was about 8yrs old when i first started watching knight rider. i now have two children of my own who also like the hoff they curl up on the sofa with me and watch the series i have on dvd, its really cute when we all sit together.

I haven't any friends yet in HoffSpace, but I've just joined the groups Travel Hoff ("For the Hoff in all us Backpackers") and Kitt is Awesome (self explanatory). Now I'll just sit back and wait for my new social set to find me.

Thanks to reader Brian for clueing me in to HoffSpace.

By Liz Kelly  | August 21, 2008; 10:01 AM ET
Categories:  Extreme Fans  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys
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Comments

First!

BTW, also barf!

Posted by: First Comment | August 21, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Wow, look at Queen Liz getting an early jump on the main post. I'm still trying to think up snark for the morning mix.

Liz, if I join Hoffspace I'll friend you.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

It's a post from the future!!! The time stamp says: Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 08/21/2008 but it is now 9:36am ET.

Posted by: Em | August 21, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Hey Em, betcha didn't know how all powerful and omniscient our Liz Kelly is, did ya?

Hoffspace? I mean, I just can't...I mean, it's just so...ya know? But, Kitt is pretty cool. I wish I had a car like that so I could take a nap while commuting.

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 21, 2008 9:41 AM | Report abuse

"ma hoffster and proud off ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt"

I'm going to have to find a way to say that today at work.

Posted by: td | August 21, 2008 9:41 AM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly: can handle Weingarten! Gave Hax her intertubes start!! Transcends time !!! Knows where to find men's dress pants w/o pleats!!!! You are a QUEEN

Posted by: WOW | August 21, 2008 9:42 AM | Report abuse

hmmmm, i thought ricky martin was...

oh forget it, that'll come out wrong

Posted by: NALL92 | August 21, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Shhh everyone, we don't want those 13,953 Hoffriends to show up today. I have a feeling they could give the TTTs a real run for their money.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Furry manchest? ewww.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Uh-oh, I must've fallen asleep for over 7 months, because I can only conclude that it's April 1 again already.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

Why does Hasselhoff need to start a social networking site? I'm sure that he can easily find an AA meeting wherever he travels.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Hoffspace? I'm with Nosy, is this some kind of sick twisted joke? I will admit to being a Knight Rider fan. KITT was pretty cool, but I was like 12 at the time. I was a Baywatch fan too, I even understand The Hoff had a starring role. I never got much into... wait, they're running now. be right back...

Posted by: Brutal may have given TMI | August 21, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Brutal, as you watch Pammy run in slow-mo, remind yourself that this is a subliminal commercial for GE silicone.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Here's a metaphysical question for yewns:

Is David Hassellhoff the next generation's William Shatner?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

It's getting close to lunchtime. Anyone want to go out for Hoffburgers?

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

epony asks:

"It's getting close to lunchtime. Anyone want to go out for Hoffburgers?"


What's the Hoffburger platter? A cheeseburger and a 6-pack?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Sorry Sasquatch...

And your point is???? Just because the shoes have been "enhanced" from 1 inch heels to 8 inch stilettos doesn't make them bad shoes. Besides, it was Erica Eleniak, not Pammy!!!

Posted by: Brutal | August 21, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Hoffburger????

That just sounds nasty!

Posted by: Brutal doesn't want to shave his burger before he eats it. | August 21, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Is David Hassellhoff the next generation's William Shatner?

Sasquatch, at least Shatner is a good scenery-chewer. Hasselhoff, not even that.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Brutal, ya gotta assess the total package. Pammy may have nice XXLs, but when gotta consider the total skanky package. I'll pass.

As for Erica Eleniak, is it true that when you look into her eyes you can see the back of her skull?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

I think I know the answer to this question:

"What's the proper placement of a Hasselhoff tribute tattoo?"

It's right behind me...I'm sitting on it as we speak/type.

Posted by: B'More Cat and Tattoo Lover | August 21, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Doesn't this picture makes him look high and mighty and superior. Ugh. I de-Hoffed my life a LONG time ago and am a better person for it.

Posted by: WI | August 21, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Here is this week's copy of the ever-expanding Unabashed Glossary:

CELEBRITOLOGY UNIVERSE
Unabashed Glossary of Terms

Andy – the official kitty of the Celebritology Universe
Bagging the viper – vulgar synonym for “knockin’ boots” (see below)
Barfishious – describes the type of thoughts one has when contemplating Verne Troyer’s sex video
Bawlmer – the Lizard Snark Shelter Safety Officer
Blowback – non-Lizard snark
Booby Kennedy Day (BKD) - a bodacious afternoon at the Celebritology Hut
1) In Addition to All Capitals and Exclamation Points, the Overuse of Capitalization of Words, Shall Henceforth Also Be a Factor for Determining Craziness.
2) The use of numbers in place of words (e.g., "2" for "two", "4" for "four" as in, “I am 2 cool 4 this”) shall be a marker for consideration of BKD status
3) The "random" use of "quotation marks" for "no apparently good reason" shall be a "marker" for "consideration" of BKD status (Byoolin won't even mention the use of the word "toodles")
4) Any use of chatspeak, leetspeak, or any form of language in which clarity and correctness is sacrificed for speed is cause for a BKD nomination

Bootless Knockin' - the norm at Lizard Island (see also “Knockin’ Boots” “Knockin’ Ferragamos”, below)
Bought the lagoon – fish talk for “died”
Boyzillion – the entire area of one's privacies after waxing (see “yetzillion” below)
Byoolin – the Babe Ruth (in a good way) of the Celebritology Universe
Carm down – a warning that is issued when passions rise too precipitously
Celebuspawn – what comes out when a celebrity foals
Celinedion – Lizard-speak for a popular scatological term; (e.g., “she has celinedion for brains” or “celinedion, I get that horrid Tom Cruise ad at the top of my page” or “ . . . the current celinedion on TV right now” or “celinedion!”); a more dainty version of DaneCook
Cheetoes – what all B-list celebrity babies, and wannababies, are wearing this season
Clint Eastwood – grumpy old man
Clooney out - to remove oneself from situations out of fear of becoming a distraction; (e.g., "Citing a lack of suitable plot lines for her Grey's Anatomy character, Katherine Heigl decided to Clooney out of consideration for an Emmy.")
“Cogito ergo perfututa” – the official motto of the Celebrity Universe (sounds classy, doesn’t it)
Commando raid – mischief effected by a band of Lizards, sometimes includes a rescue ladder
Contrafribularities – (1) apologies, consolation; (2) congratulations, applause, etc.
Cromulent – excellent, realistic, authentic
Cruisiness – the most obvious characteristic of a massive weirdo
DaneCook – a heftier version of celinedion; as in, “I feel so much better after taking that massive DaneCook”
DB Cooper - Sasquatch's former and much missed neighbor
Dingleberry waffles and Moose Turd Pie – the official brunch of the Celebri-Lizard Olympic Team
Doing the Funky Wiggle - what happens when LiLo breaks the one-at-a-time rule
Embiggen – to enlarge; to flesh-out (i.e., the results a boob job)
Empress Tea Lobby – the Lizard version of the Algonquin Round Table
Fatty - one who needs to carm down
Frumpy – to look like Rumer Wills wearing that slouchy beret thingy
Gecko - Curmudgeon's super secret undercover Lizard alias
Geigh - what Clay may or may not be; a cinaedus
Getting chocked up – what happens to Lizards when learning of their first ruined keyboard
Harangue the hairy one – this has something to do with Sasquatch
Harshing the snark - critiquing and otherwise criticizing Celebritology comments
Hater - someone with an opinion that differs from your own
Heincer - the couple name for Heidi and Spencer. (“[we] enjoy thinking of them as an object rather than people . . . no real people could ever be that dumb” –hr girl)
Hirsute - what Sasquatch is (aka Prince Hairy); a crytid
http://tinyurl.com/3zpqg4 - official URL of the Celebritology Universe
Incestupus – (1) the appearance of being incestuous (cf, Billy Ray Cyrus and daughter, Miley Ray Cyrus, in the "Vanity Fair" photo spread); (2) what you call Miley's relationship with Billy Ray if you want to incite another BKD (see Booby Kennedy Day, above)
Jump the snark – becoming so venerable that one may enter the No Snark Zone
Kitchen pass – what a Lizard gets from the so/spouse to indulge in flights of bootylicious fancy about certain celebrity members of the opposite sex (geigh or neigh)
Knockin’ boots – (1) bagging the viper; (2) celebrities being snarked
Knockin’ Ferragamos – the same as knockin’ boots only done by wealthy Italians (see above)
LiLo leggings – a part of the Lizard Commando Unit’s uniform generally worn while going up the rescue ladder; most distinctive features are the padded knee pads and easy-open crotch seam
Lizard - a denizen of the Celebritology Universe
Lizard Island – sort of like Gilligan’s Island only we know how to leave if we want
Lizard Island Bridge Of Death - people who want to cross onto Lizard Island would be given five - er, three - questions to answer. If they get 'em right, they're in, if not, well, it's a Bridge of Death, right?
Lizard Island’s Fearless Leaders – a band of resolute and dissolute Lizards with important responsibilities or whatever on Lizard Island
Loh-blivious – a totally clueless Lizard
Luvlinsey – doesn’t know how to spell linDsAy
Madgeroots - what a celeb gets when he/she decides to skip the regular color tune-up.
Manhattan Project – a cunning Lizard plan that will remove Celebri-scum from the world once and for all, while maintaining Lizard Island’s totally green footprint
Mean Mommy (MM) - a regular on the OP blog
Merkin – a larger, less refined, second cousin to a tumbleweave (see “tumbleweave” below)
Methinks - the Lizard with the initial pony fixation
Mike Rowe – the itinerant, wandering, meandering, or walking about hero of Lizards everywhere
Moobies – what jiggles on a man’s chest when he is in need of a “bro”
Mooby Dick – a dysfunctional man-thing
Mr Liz – beloved consort of Queen Liz and co-keeper of the Kelly menagerie; it is thought that Mr Liz has the good sense to stay away from the Lizards
Neck-to-knee – Clay’s personal grooming secret
Newbies - Newbies come in three flavors: (1) Newbies who try to understand the milieu before they contribute; (2) Newbies who actively participate by asking questions; and (3) Newbies who complain about "insiders" and "cliques." . . . Bottom line: Newbie 3s are incapable of playing well with others. Their loss.
Opracity - the extent to which a media figure tries to insert themselves into every aspect of popular culture (e.g., "Paris Hilton, while totally untalented, maintains an Opracity of 96 percent.")
Owe the humanity! – Lizard cry of abashment, grief, and chagrin
Page – the official pup of the Celebritology Universe
Pastafarian – one who worships at the altar of Ramen
Peep show – what the Thursday Celebritology Chat becomes after an hour of dueling hot links
Photo spread – what Britney and Paris provide onlookers when exiting from an auto
Placticated – what Katie Holmes seems to be in more recent times (i.e., the results of a nose job)
Pony – what every Lizard really really really wants (would be a unicorn if it had a horn in the middle of its forehead)
Pornorific – self-explanatory
Privacies – that which can remain protected by a pair of LiLo leggings (unless the crotch seam gives way)
Propper nacked – showing more skin than Miley Cyrus did in the “Vanity Fair” photo spread
Shamued – being squashed by a killer whale falling from a great height; a celebrity after being publicly humiliated (shamed)
Shibbi/shibby – hot, cool, partying, or wasted
Skank – a streetwalker
Skanque – (1) a call girl; (2) a French streetwalker
Skeleboobs – aka Victoria Posh Spice Beckham (see also TOAS)
SMAME – what Lizards hang their heads in
Snark – clever but keenly disparaging remarks about another organization, custom, or person (especially a celebrity)
Snarkfest – the Celebritology posting media
Snark shelter - where Lizards hide from attacks from the MMs (and TTTs for the faint of heart) and eat snacks
Snark tank – where a deserving celebrity is sent to be snarked limb from limb
Snarky - the essence of a clever, glib observation made by a Lizard
Speedos – snarky synonym for male privacies when seen on a beach or around a pool
Televizzle – where one watches that Pekinese rescue league thing
Texting ‘Tweener Tw*t (TTT) – (1) ignorant middleschooler; (2) ignorant grownup
The Perfect Beckham – a six-pack and a brat
TOAS – T**’s On A Stick (see also Skeleboobs)
Transpostite – a low-life who impersonates a Lizard by cross-posting to other blogs, particularly the MM blog
“Troiana lacerta matribus contumeliosis tradita, pax restituta est.” – breaking news announcement from the Lizard Post Organizer
Trojan Lizard – a cunning and artful Commando device used to infiltrate suspect territory; recently captured and taken to an undisclosed location awaiting ransom
Tumbleweave – an erstwhile hair extension living on its own in the big city; a smaller, more refined, second cousin to a merkin (see “merkin” above)
Unchoreographed flame – (1) an event in a John Woo film reminiscent of the campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles”; (2) any unexpected event
Wrestling the taco – something that Mrs Hogan might want her new boy toy to do
Yetzillion - the entire area of a cryptid’s privacies after waxing (see “boyzillion” above)

Posted by: Curmudgeon the Scrivner | August 21, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Did Hasselhoff bork the Post servers in response to this article? I've got a few articles that are taking forever and ever and ever to load.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 21, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

,Hasselhaff is even beginning to look like Shatner. OWE THE HUMANITY!

Maybe they see the same nip-n-tuck doctor and he can do only one style of face.

Posted by: Curmudgeon notices these things | August 21, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

JES, don't knock a furry manchest until you try it.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Sas' you are a lucky cryptid.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Owe the ego. The fact that so many people find it perfectly acceptable to admit they like Hasselhoff and actually waste precious time, time they can never get back, discussing him, makes me very afraid.

My god, we must form a charity and hold a telethon to help these people immediately.

Posted by: ep | August 21, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, God only knows why that woman puts up with me.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

"My god, we must form a charity and hold a telethon to help these people immediately."

I hear that Jerry Lewis is available.

Posted by: Not one of Jerry's Kids | August 21, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

It's the furry manchest, Sasquatch.

Posted by: Curmudgeon prefers it, too | August 21, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

You must be Hoff'ing kidding me. First Hoffspace, and now the Hoff wants to make sure he's ensure immortality in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as a "noun or verb befitting the Hoffster"? His followers alone make me want to Hoff in the nearest receptacle.

I think we'd better Hoff to it if we wish to make the world a better place. Hoff as the solution to the End of an Error in January, 2009?

Posted by: ... | August 21, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch,

Not only can you see the back of Erica's skull, if the wind is blowing right, you can hear it whistling between her ears.

I'll give you points on the assessment of the entire package, but it's not like I'd tap either skank. I'd be too afraid that my twig would turn plaid and fall off from the combination of diseases. They're just fun to watch running in slo-mo on TV.

Posted by: Brutal like hot women running in slo-mo | August 21, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

And there are no moobs under the fur.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

besides in the bizarro world where I'd have a shot at a hot celeb chick, I'd never frequent an establishment already trashed by the likes of Kid Rock, Tommy Lee et al.

Posted by: Brutal has standards | August 21, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

"It's the furry manchest, Sasquatch."

It certainly cannot be my "scintillating" personality.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

The Hoff's greatest role was in Dodgeball!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

"besides in the bizarro world where I'd have a shot at a hot celeb chick, I'd never frequent an establishment already trashed by the likes of Kid Rock, Tommy Lee et al."

Posted by: Brutal has standards | August 21, 2008 12:44 PM

---------------------------------------------
Word

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Sas @ 10:54,
He could be, except Shatner's usually only grossly inappropriate when in character....

Posted by: b | August 21, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Nonsense, dear. You yourself have described your personality as being "the kindest, nicest, most understanding sonuva b**** anybody could ever hope to meet."

You had me at sonuva.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

For those who cannot get enough snark here today, Slate has an Olympic Sap-O-Meter to track sappy camera shots and commentary. Some viewers apparently use it as a drinking game. There are some quotes on the Slate site that will make you wish you had an extra dose on insulin handy.

http://www.slate.com/id/2198179/

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

JES, don't knock a furry manchest until you try it.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 12:06 PM

I was actually referring specifically to the Hoff's furry manchest as the original comment from Hoffspace gave me an unpleasant visual. Please pass the mental floss.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

jes,

you may need some Listerbrain too!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, JES. I've been looking back at Baywatch pictures of the Hoff running shirtless on the beach. What can I say? I like hairy chests. I think a waxed, oiled chest like Hulk Hogan's is icky.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

Any pics of Hoff in a mankini? *rowr*

Posted by: ... | August 21, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

You know what else is icky, Ms Snatchquatch?

That sprinkling of long, straight hairs that sparsely circle the mannip.

eeew

Looks like those deep ocean plants with the waving tentacles.

eeeeew

Posted by: Curmudgeon gets on the soap box | August 21, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Mudge gets on the soap box:

"You know what else is icky, Ms Snatchquatch?
That sprinkling of long, straight hairs that sparsely circle the mannip.eeew"

------------------------------------------
Hmmm, Mudge, a long time ago I had a girlfriend who had some excellent assets. They were real and they were spectacular. But she had a sprinkling of long, straight hairs around her womennips.

Ptooey!

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

I think a waxed, oiled chest like Hulk Hogan's is icky.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 1:17 PM

Well me too, but surely there's a happy medium. Sasquatchi excluded of course since we all know they have even more important attributes than their hairy chests to recommend them.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon,

Yuck, a sprinkling of hair around the mannips? Come on, if he's gonna have hair, make it worthwhile - full fur, not just a sprinkling.

Sas dear,

Boy, you must've been with some nasty skanks before I came along!

JES,

To paraphrase Lili Von Shtupp, "Is it twue what they say about you people/Sasquatches? It's twue, twue!"

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon,

Is there a word in the glossary for male skank? Because Sas is no doubt going to remind me of a certain drug-addicted one that I was with. And he wasn't even hairy!

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Hoff=still taking himself seriously
Shat=gets the joke and perfects it
ergo Hoff has much work to do should he aspire to go where Shatner has gone before.

And Mudge,

Does "shoes" make the dictionary yet?

Posted by: jsk | August 21, 2008 2:42 PM | Report abuse

Terms for male skank? Hmmm, maybe skanko, or skankus (no wait, that last one doesn't sound quite right).

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Does "shoes" make the dictionary yet?

"shoes" wasn't invented in the celebritology universe, it came from American Idol and Lisa DeM brought it up on her blog and the obvious cross-over.

Posted by: Sorry, no "shoes" for you | August 21, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

If a warlock is a male witch, can a skanklock be a male skank?

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

As a nameless long-time devotee of Pookie's online chats who's rather recently added Celebritology, I can announce with pride that I was present at the birth of the term "shoes" to designate female chests, especially of the embiggened variety (thanks, Kelly Pickler!). I propose that, for the sake of clarity, "shoes" be added to the Lizard Glossary, but with appropriate attributuion as a loan-word from another language.

(Where's Mouse when we need a good linguist's help?)

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

attribution

Posted by: Nosy Parker has difficulty typing and thinking simultaneously | August 21, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Maybe a male skank is just a skunk.

(With apologies to the furry black and white ones everywhere, which are darned cute, really.)

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Epony,

Good one! And Mr. Drug Addict really was a skunk, too.

Posted by: Ms. Snatchquatch | August 21, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Male skank?

Gigolo comes close.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

skankhoff

Posted by: b | August 21, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

John Mayer?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Male skank = stank

or stanque, en Francais

Posted by: jsk | August 21, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Stank is very good, jsk. It lets the furry black and white critters off the hook. And anyway, Pepe LePew was kind of a single minded skunk, not a stank, right?

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

Here's a strong contender for the male variant of skank. Please evaluate for accuracy, nuance, and appropriateness.

prostate

The prostate is a male reproductive organ, and the word "prostate" shares the prefix with "prostitute."

The prostate gland is a major reason that sex is somewhat somewhat messy.

A relationship with a male skank invariably ends up messy.

If a male skank is in a realtionship strictly for the money, he is a "money shot".

Hence the word

Prostate. noun. A male skank.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

While skunk and stank/stankue are both very good, I gotta go with John Mayer for the definition of Male Skank. He is definitely in the "put that down, everybody knows where it has been" category. Mmostly because he lets anybody handle him.

What was Jen thinking? She is still fairly young, rich and blond. She can afford to have standards. She shouldn't be so desperate yet that she has to settle for *that.*

Posted by: ep | August 21, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Any discussion of male skanks has to include Jude Law and Lance Armstrong, along with John Mayer.

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

Done and done and done.

Stank/stanque and "shoes" have entered our lexicon as of today

We have an position open on the Island. With RCR leaving to do good deeds, we are sorely in need of a Chief Priest.

td, please feel free to suggest a posting for yourself in the Assembly of Lizards. There's something for everyone. Tribal Chieftan Dorkus will then cognitate, decide, hopefully give his approval, and Bob's your uncle.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

eeeeew. a girlfriend with those nip hairs

eeeeeeeeeeew

Sasquatch, did her "shoes" remind you of those deep ocean plants, too?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 4:48 PM | Report abuse

c o g i t a t e

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

"With RCR leaving to do good deeds, we are sorely in need of a Chief Priest."

Oooo, what did I miss?

Posted by: Trying to catch up... | August 21, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

Yes, stank/stanque might draw unfair comparisons between Male Skanks and innocent li'l Pepes Le Pew.


ep has convinced me that with "John Mayer," there would be no confusion at all.

Posted by: jsk | August 21, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

oops. thought about that one too long. Refresh! Then post!

Posted by: jsk, who wonders if she's still blushing if no one can see her | August 21, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Mudge asks:

"Sasquatch, did her "shoes" remind you of those deep ocean plants, too?"

Nope. They reminded me of that line in "America the Beautiful" about the "purple mountain majesties above the fruited plain."

To put it another way, Mudge, have you ever been to Acadia National Park? There is a pair of hills called the Bubbles that overlooks Jordan Pond. I renamed them after my girlfriend.

http://www.gsmmaine.org/images/surf.jpg

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 5:01 PM | Report abuse

how about a combination of Jude Law, Lance Armstrong and John Mayer?

JMLAJL

Posted by: b | August 21, 2008 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch,

I've seen those hills, but I've never been to Acadia National Park.

(now, where did I see them . . . )

'click'

Oh, yes, now I remember. I see that same panorama every time I try to look at my toes. How inconvenient.

Posted by: Curmudgeon knows about majesty | August 21, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, you have trees growing on your "shoes"?????????????????????

Posted by: Sasquatch is dumstruck...or maybe just dumb | August 21, 2008 5:19 PM | Report abuse

Sas asks "Mudge, you have trees growing on your "shoes"?????????????????????,

gosh! maybe I do! yipes

I'd better contact a logging firm - stat!

Posted by: Curmudgeon needs to cogitate | August 21, 2008 5:21 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, does that mean your "shoes" give wood?

Posted by: Sasquatch of Acadia | August 21, 2008 5:26 PM | Report abuse

Oh wow, look at the how time has flown, I was busy cognitating the picture of Lolo Jones from the chat earlier.

Regarding John Mayer, I always feel better about my posts when ep agrees with me. It's as though the lawyers say everything is copacetic.

'Mudge, why do I want to yell TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEERRRRRR?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Chief, what you say, goes.

So please don't yell "$H1T!"

Someone may take it as a command.

Posted by: SecDef Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 5:32 PM | Report abuse

Hi. I'm one of the webmasters for www.davidhasselhoff.com . If you have any questions regarding the site, feel free to email us at webmaster@hasselhoff.com

Posted by: Robert Granlund | August 21, 2008 5:34 PM | Report abuse

Hi. I'm one of the webmasters for www.davidhasselhoff.com . If you have any questions regarding the site, feel free to email us at webmaster@hasselhoff.com

Posted by: Robert Granlund | August 21, 2008 5:34 PM

********************************************

Ok, I actually do have some questions:

Why, why, why, why, why, why, why.....

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, that has got to be THE exchange of the week.

Posted by: Sasquatch nearly wets his pants | August 21, 2008 5:42 PM | Report abuse

i dont think we can discuss David Hasselhoff's contribution to modern culture without a ref to the Hasselhoff soap dispenser... (joke? maybe... when it comes to the Hoff who knows where the humor starts)

http://www.oddee.com/item_96468.aspx

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