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Posted at 10:22 AM ET, 08/29/2008

Friday List: Celebrity Snores -- We've Had Enough of These Stars

By Liz Kelly


Paris and Britney way back in 2006. Have we had enough? (Cliff Sobel/Splash News)

The life of an aspiring celebrity is fraught with booby traps. One day, you're the toast of the tabloids; the next you may find yourself hawking a line of bargain basement bikinis at a Vegas trade show or desperately trying to hold on to some semblance of a career by "reinventing" yourself, wondering where and how you lost your way. Was it the ill-considered marriage, the line of perfumes for Wal-Mart, the arrests, the profligate spending or the taking-yourself-way-too seriously? Who can tell?

We don't help. We're fickle. We're all about the now. We have no patience for Hollywood's fading roses. Perhaps we should be more forgiving because, after all, the lives of the stars are a reflection of our own lives writ large. But, despite a handful of half-hearted protestations, we dismiss dimming stars quicker than Sarah Larson can say "I dated George Clooney for five minutes."

So, today's exercise -- another that may help to inform the upcoming 2008 Celebritology Honors -- is to play the role of merciless ax man (or woman). Who, as the kids say, needs to step off? Which celebrities have had more than their allotted 15 minutes of fame (and far too many second chances) and should exit stage left to perhaps resurface on a reality show a few years out? Who is getting way too much media saturation?

Some food for thought:

Michael Phelps backlash has been quietly building in the Celebritology comment community. Sure, the guy earned eight gold medals, but are his season opening "SNL" appearance, MTV VMA appearance, "Entourage" cameo and book too much too soon?

Last year, I was accused of over-covering Britney Spears. Hey, I go where the news is, but the loud and persistent outcry to "move on" did influence me to ratchet back my Brit coverage just a hair. Luckily, that decision coincided with Brit's improved behavior.

What came first? Paris Hilton's stardom or her ability to attract paparazzi by the dozens? And now that she's settled into a quieter life as faithful girlfriend and political pundit, is it time for Paris to take a backseat to younger, fresher socialites gone wild?

Share your candidates for celebs who are way past their expiration date below...

By Liz Kelly  | August 29, 2008; 10:22 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Friday Lists  
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Comments

Celebs who are way past their expiration date:

Well, just from today's Morning Mix alone, there's Fat Joe, Yankee Daddy (or Daddy Yankee, or Baby Daddy or Damn Yankee or WhateverTF his name is), Ali, Dina, and Michael Lohan (LiLo's trying to get her act together and I'm giving her a break), Michael Jackson, Michael Phelps, Kimora Lee, Christopher Ciccone and Heath In-Case-You-Haven't-Noticed-I-Am-DEAD Ledger.

Posted by: byoolin's also tired of Nancy's "why are you so mean?" shtick. | August 29, 2008 10:26 AM | Report abuse

But you know who we DON'T hear (or see) nearly as frequently as we should?

Scarlett Johansson.

I've taken the liberty: http://tinyurl.com/5dj3pd

Posted by: byoolin | August 29, 2008 10:33 AM | Report abuse

Denise Richards, Bob Sagget, Jessica Simpson and the whole rest of her no talent family, Sean Puffy Diddy Puff Daddy John Combs - just pick a name and then STFU and go away already..., Rosie and Roseanne, Paula Abdul, Oprah, Donald Trump, Jared the subway guy, and any one and everyone who is famous for being famous (I'm looking at you Paris, Kardashians, reality tv people, etc.).

I think Britney seems to be getting it together, so I will cut her some slack. Same with Lilo.

Posted by: sunnydaze feels better for venting | August 29, 2008 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Just a side note, it's Phelps' second book. The first one didn't sell a whole lot of copies. And for him, it's all about making swimming more well-known. Sure, the money and endorsements are nice, but he had them already by turning pro in his teens. Let swimming milk it as long as they can.

Posted by: Still a phan. :0) | August 29, 2008 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Share your candidates for celebs who are way past their expiration date below...

Bill Clinton

Pretty much all the others have been said, oh wait, I don't see Denise Richards! And the Olsen twins. And Amy Winehouse. Miley Cyrus...I'm done...

Posted by: Can we talk politics? | August 29, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Jessica Simpson
Paris Hilton
The Kardashian Family, en toto (and I'm talking about cousins, in-laws, and anyone else w/a drop of Kardashian blood. You have been warned.)
Michael & Dina Lohan

Michael Phelps is guilty of nothing more than winning a billion gold medals and swimming his heart out for his country and endorsement deals. But he needs to watch it...there are Kardashians (and their ilk) everywhere.

Posted by: methinks | August 29, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Madonna
The Olsen twins
The Kardashians
Anybody on The Hills
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, and the entire Lohan family
Denise Richards
Everybody on VH1's I Love Money

Posted by: Magnolia | August 29, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

hey, leave phelps alone! he shouldnt be on this list!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Oh, and the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus

Posted by: Magnolia, hoping she won't incite another BKD day | August 29, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Carmen Electra, the cast of The Hills, Tila Tequila...

Posted by: beaker | August 29, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Miley Cyrus
Olsen Twins
Britney Spears
Kardashians
Madonna
Brangelina
Jessica Simpson
Jonas Brothers

Posted by: Anon Y. Mouse | August 29, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Posted by: byoolin's also tired of Nancy's "why are you so mean?" shtick. | August 29, 2008 10:26 AM

Byoolin, I always thought you were one of the nice and decent regular commentators. For you to go and say horrible things about me just brings me to tears. I have done nothing to you, yet you feel the need to criticize me. Its so sad.

Posted by: Nancy | August 29, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Heh heh heh...booby trap.

Okay, with that out of the way, I nominate everyone in the Lohans but Lindsey (who I think has some talent, if she can stay sober long enough to utilize it), the entirety of the Kardashian clan, annnnnnd oh yeah, Jessica Simpson. Sorry hon, you should have been done after "Blonde Ambition".

I'm not sick of Michael Phelps yet, and honestly, I don't think he fits the main criteria of relentless self-promotion everyone else on the list shares. Give him a month or two to settle back in.

Oh! You know who we missed? Carrot Top and Andy Dick. No more, I beg of you!

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 29, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Miley Cyrus. Unless she actually starts making real music, enough's enough.

The Lohan clan. All of them. Maybe if we ignore them they'll be less poisonous to each other.

Tila Tequila. The only person I can think of who makes Paris Hilton look authentic.

I say leave Phelps alone. e'll be back to just a great swimmer soon enough. Let him milk it for a month.

Posted by: EricS | August 29, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Well, that about covers our usual snarkfest menu, doesn't it?

There's no one left, except:

the Jackson Five and Janet
the American Idol judges and contestants - all of them
Britney's mother
Dr Phil
the View ladies past and present
George Clooney

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 29, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

I nominate Nicole Ritchie. Why is she famous anyway, other than hanging out with someone else who has no business being famous? Why should we be subjected to multipage spreads in People Magazine of her newborn babie's nursery? Why do we care about her decorating taste?

Other nominies Michael Bolton, Every celebrity who has a line at Macy's (most of whom have already been mentioned above), any former Backstreet boy.

Posted by: hodie | August 29, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I'm with "Magnolia".

Posted by: WI | August 29, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

I second what everyone else said -- including the Byoolin comment about Nancy. Nancy, you are an adult, if reading this blog upsets you, don't read it. No one is making you. You are adult, you can choose not to read it.

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to take a break for a bit too. Her "I am so much better than you because I live in England" got old at "insouciant."

Phelps is great for winning 8 medals. But, all the tv appearances may be pushing the envelope.

Also, Sanjay needs to go away and take the Geico Cavemen with him.

Posted by: ep | August 29, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

ok spelling police, I know I made and error, no need to point it out. It's Friday and I don't care.

Posted by: hodie | August 29, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

I second what everyone else said -- including the Byoolin comment about Nancy. Nancy, you are an adult, if reading this blog upsets you, don't read it. No one is making you. You are adult, you can choose not to read it.

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to take a break for a bit too. Her "I am so much better than you because I live in England" got old at "insouciant."

Phelps is great for winning 8 medals. But, all the tv appearances may be pushing the envelope.

Also, Sanjay needs to go away and take the Geico Cavemen with him.

Posted by: ep | August 29, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

I second what everyone else said -- including the Byoolin comment about Nancy. Nancy, you are an adult, if reading this blog upsets you, don't read it. No one is making you. You are adult, you can choose not to read it.

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to take a break for a bit too. Her "I am so much better than you because I live in England" got old at "insouciant."

Phelps is great for winning 8 medals. But, all the tv appearances may be pushing the envelope.

Also, Sanjay needs to go away and take the Geico Cavemen with him.

Posted by: ep | August 29, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

ep, looks like you've seconded, thirded and fourthed what everyone else said!

Posted by: M Street | August 29, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

The Hoff.

Posted by: Here's a new one... | August 29, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

Anyone surnamed Lohan
Anyone surnamed Kardashian
All progeny of Joe Jackson
All progeny of Rod Stewart
Sean Puffy Puff Diddy Daddy Combs
Kanye West
Anyone named Rosie or Roseanne (except Rosie Perez, don't ask me why)
Gwynnie
Wee Tom
Kat(i)e Holmes
Posh Spice and her Girly man husband
Donald Trump
The Hills Gang
The Trolsen Twins
Andy Dick
Andy the Cat (hey no, I kid because I love)

Posted by: jes | August 29, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Everyone who appeared on Baywatch - please retire and leave us alone.

I second the nomination of the Jackson family.

I also nominate, in no particular order, Rosie O'Donnell, Star Jones, Kate Moss, Siena Miller, Rod Stewart and his skanky daughter, Tori Spelling and her C-list husband, Tom Cruise, and all members of the Moore/Willis clan.

Posted by: new england | August 29, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Wow, what a lineup. Late to today's party, but I'll add to this already wonderful list (forgive me for any duplicates from what has been said above):

Charlie Sheen
Jamie Lynn Spears
Will Ferrell
Adam Sandler
Ben Stiller
Snoop Dogg
Whoopi Goldberg
Robin Williams
Will Ferrell
Adam Sandler
Ben Stiller
Tom Hanks
Demi Moore
Ashton Kutcher
Brittany Murphy
Will Ferrell
Adam Sandler
Ben Stiller
Tara Reid
Heincer
Will Ferrell
Adam Sandler
Ben Stiller

Did I mention Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, and Ben Stiller?

Has no one mentioned Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie yet?! Or did I miss that?

Posted by: td also would like dane cook to go away | August 29, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Then who the heck are we supposed to talk about???

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the reminder, jes. Liz Kelly, you've got one very cute cat. The pic of Andy from yesterday's chat was great!

Posted by: methinks | August 29, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin, I always thought you were one of the nice and decent regular commentators. For you to go and say horrible things about me just brings me to tears. I have done nothing to you, yet you feel the need to criticize me. Its so sad.

Posted by: Nancy | August 29, 2008 10:59 AM

****

You've done "nothing" to me? You just spelled my name with a CAPITAL B, for Pete's sake. Do you think that's the kind of thing we just ignore around here? Sometimes your fancy big city American ways are strange to me, but I thought - at the very minimum - that respecting the way a person spelled his or her own name was sacred.

Talk about hurt feelings. I mean, IT'S ON.

Posted by: byoolin postures and issues empty threats like this all the time. | August 29, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

I will go farther:

All celebrity relatives, and especially those with the surnames of Hilton, Spears, Smith (or any variation thereof), Jones, Ciccone, Simpson, Lohan, Ritchie, Richie, Moore, Murphy, Reid, West, Cruise, Holmes, Osborne.

Posted by: b, with a shotgun | August 29, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

sorry jes, didn't mean to be repetitive! consider my post an amendment to yours!

Posted by: b | August 29, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

Anon's right, who will we talk about? Who should stay? We can't just sit around and pick on Nancy all day. Where's the fun in that? (By the way, my money is on byoolin)

Posted by: hodie | August 29, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

hodie, regarding the celebs with a clothing line at Macy's, doesn't Tim Gunn have his own collection there? I thought we all liked him.

Posted by: Dorkus who always respects the way people spell their names | August 29, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl
Anne Heche
All celebrity Scientologists and their hangers-on

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Former supermodels (goodbye, Naomi Campbell)
Anybody who hosts or has ever hosted The View
Katie Couric
Right-wing talk radio hosts
TomKat
Tori Spelling
Paris Hilton
Nicole Ritchie
All less-famous/less-talented siblings (Ali, Jamie Lynn, Ashlee, Solange, Madonna's brother... there must be more)
All Hogans and Kardashians
The "Little People, Big World" family
Pamela Anderson and any man she's ever slept with
Denise Richards and any man she's ever slept with
George Clooney and any man he's ever slept with - oh, wait...

Posted by: BxNY | August 29, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Sometimes your fancy big city American ways are strange to me...


Posted by: byoolin postures and issues empty threats like this all the time. | August 29, 2008 12:03 PM

Usually I'm a lurker, but byoolin, don't let Nancy spur you to copy Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, frightened and confused and heading for the hills, or something.

Also, I'd LOVE to fifth, or seventh, the nomination of Madonna for this list. BOOOORRING! I'd also like to add the entire cast of "High School Musical". Ick.

Posted by: Maritza | August 29, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, yes Tim Gunn is exempt. I luv Tim Gunn! I actually didn't know he had his own clothing line. Is it part of the Clairborne label?

Posted by: hodie | August 29, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

"Former supermodels"

May I propose exemptions for Cindy Crawford and the sublime, eternal Carmen?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

May I propose exemptions for Cindy Crawford and the sublime, eternal Carmen?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 12:24 PM

****************************************

And Heidi, don't forget Heidi.

And hodie, I just recall seeing Tim Gunn during the Christmas commercials for Macy's, I'm assuming he has a line of clothing but I don't really shop there myself.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 29, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I violently applaud all of the above except Ben Stiller... "my favorite mother f**ker" (to quote Fred Durst who fell in to total anonimity - as we are asking these folks to - around the time extra limp biskits uncovered his pathetic attempts to woo Nancy - er I mean Mz - "I'll make a sex tape with ANYONE other than Fred Durst" Hilton...)

His tatooed bad a** image went out the window the day he referred to her as his widdle cuddle muffin pookie wookie.

Posted by: LTL | August 29, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

I think anyone who considers themselves a celeb simply because their parent, child, or sibling is famous should be on the list.

Posted by: MGC | August 29, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

does anyone else, when they imagine Nancy crying her blessed little heart out, picture that image of Paris Hilton sobbing in the back of the cop car as she's being carted off to the klink? I know I do.

Posted by: LTL 'in case my connection was too obscure" | August 29, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Mike Rowe

Posted by: Yes, I am going there! | August 29, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

Leave Phelps alone! All the hours/years he's spent training and the final results deserve a few months of fame/comments.

Posted by: Kate | August 29, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I dunno, Dorkus. Heidi's reaching the saturation point with me (heh heh, as it were). May I add to the go-away list:

Sarah Jessica Parker
Kim Cattrall
(but NOT Cynthia Nixon or Kristin Davis)

Nathan Lane

Mandy Patinkin
(he gets an exemption for any "Princess Bride" references, but that's it)

Posted by: td | August 29, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

I think Tim Gunn is in the Macy's commercials because of Macy's association (or former association) with Project Runway.

The problem with kicking all the celebrity Scientologists out is we would have to kick out Jason Lee, and I just couldn't do that.

Posted by: MGC | August 29, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

That is all..

Posted by: LTL exclaims 'snootchiebootchienootchies' in support of Jason Lee | August 29, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I'd give Mandy Patinkin a pass anytime he sings.

But let's add David Caruso to the Celebrity Snores.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Omarosa,
the entire Hogan family,
anyone who has been on "Celebrity Rehab"

Posted by: Dee | August 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Can't believe I forgot The Big O and her wife Gayle.

Posted by: jes | August 29, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Then stop writing about them


Posted by: Jack Henry | August 29, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

sorry jes, didn't mean to be repetitive! consider my post an amendment to yours!

Posted by: b | August 29, 2008 12:07 PM

Thanks b, it was sorely needed.

Posted by: jes | August 29, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Then who the heck are we supposed to talk about???

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 12:01 PM

That's the beauty of this system, We get a whole new group of celebs to snark over.

Posted by: jes | August 29, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Madonna
Tom Cruise
The Hoff
Diddy
Mel Gibson
Veronica Webb
Halle Berry
John Travolta
Anyone who had a hit show in the '80s and is still milking it but hasn't done anything good since
Anyone on a VH1 show that brings together has-beens

And ... Dana Delaney (I hate her the way Liz hates Diane Keaton)

Posted by: Vikki | August 29, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Ditto on giving Phelps a break. Someone made the point that Olympic athletes have a much shorter window of "relevance" than do year-round athletes. In six months, he may still be a beloved figure, but he won't pull the in the ratings he does not. If he's got dreams outside of the pool, he's gotta hit the ground running now, while everyone still wants to have his babies. If he can keep it classy and avoid creating his own Walmart cologne/flipping his Saturn while drunk/exiting a limo without undies/wearing Tom Cruises' baggy jeans....then he may secure a semi-permanent spot in one of the inner circles of celebrity (I'm predicting short Brangelina, but ahead of Sandra Bullock.)

Posted by: Omaha | August 29, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Anyone who was on any reality show ever. Unless your name is Helio Castroneves. I don't know what it is, I just can't get enough of that guy.

And I'm with MGC as far as the spawn/family member thing. That means you, Nicole, Rumer, Levi, and anyone whose last name is Jolie-Pitt (which will soon be the entire world).

"Celebrities" who don't do - and never did - anything but are famous anyway: Nicole again, Paris, etc.

And not just Michael Phelps, but his mom, too. A clothing line at Chico's? Really?

Posted by: Em | August 29, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

"Heath In-Case-You-Haven't-Noticed-I-Am-DEAD Ledger." --byoolin

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

SO TRUE.


I second P Diddy, and JLO's Triathalon, she is so annoy. Maybe they should get back togehter and get stabbed in a nightclub.

Posted by: picturethis | August 29, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

First and foremost, byoolin's "Heath In-Case-You-Haven't-Noticed-I-Am-DEAD Ledger" had me spitting iced tea all over my screen -- brilliant!! Totally agree! Here's my list:
Janice Dickinson
Woody Harrelson
Matthew McConaughey
Shondra Rhimes
Michael Symon

And because these people are so appalling, I'm seconding/thirding their previous nominations:
Oprah Winfrey
Katie Holmes
Denise Richards
Heincer

P.S. When did it stop being "Speidi" and start being "Heincer"? Heincer is who Speidi is, right? Forgive me for not keeping up; I've been gone all summer.

Posted by: Snarky Squirrel | August 29, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

Tyra Banks

Posted by: Groovis is smiling with her eyes and doing the bootie tooch | August 29, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

exiting a limo without undies

Posted by: Omaha | August 29, 2008 1:03 PM


wait, when is phelps doing that???

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

Oh Groovis, you're so fierce!

Posted by: Em | August 29, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Christian Siriano

Posted by: td says speaking of *fierce* | August 29, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

"What came first? Paris Hilton's stardom or her ability to attract paparazzi by the dozens? And now that she's settled into a quieter life as faithful girlfriend and political pundit, is it time for Paris to take a backseat to younger, fresher socialites gone wild?"

Paris had an "acting" career before anyone gave a crap about her. She starred in a fine film featuring an unknown Rick Crawford. The film proved one thing, whether she was acting or not Paris sure did suck!

Posted by: Brutal hates rainy days | August 29, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

1. billy may, the guy w/the dark beard and hair who shouts all the commercials to buy oxy clean, etc. shades of ron popeil (whom i secretly like)
2. a-rod, a sports celebrity. a big baby who can't come through when it counts - at least in baseball.
3. that tabitha who puts the snap on dirty hair salons. saw the show once. eek.
4. everyone else listed by everyone
5. danny bonaduce. go away. please.
6. tonya harding. she needs to see the above mentioned tabitha.

Posted by: janets mixes the bag | August 29, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Ooooh - that Tabitha woman. She looks like a cross between a rhinocerous (tiny eyes and weird nostrils) and an elf.

Posted by: Groovis | August 29, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

There is one reality show I would like to exempt, that is the cast of Ace of Cakes. Those people, and I don't know their names, so maybe they're not famous enough to begin with, are a riot. And what's better is that they are real.
I do think I've had enough of Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse and Paula Dean however. And Rachel Ray, I always hit the MUTE button whenever she is on the screen.

Posted by: hodie missed lunch | August 29, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Sarah Palin. Over before it starts.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

the View ladies past and present

Except maybe Meredith?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 1:50 PM | Report abuse

the cast of Ace of Cakes
*****
love that show. love mary alice altho she's quit w/the flaming red hair. they make fabulous cakes. has anyone tasted one?
paula dean screeches. the sound you hear is the shattering of ear drums.
rachel ray looks like the musical wide mouth billy bass sold by walgreens everywhere.
***
groovis, nice shot on the tabitha/rhinocerous resemblance. i will now expect to see a tiny bird perched on top of her head.

Posted by: janet | August 29, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Rachel Ray is no Justin Wilson - I gar-on-tee.

Posted by: Groovis would like some Beaujolais wine | August 29, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Sarah Palin. Over before it starts.

***
you mean the creationist? talk about hope, she's hoping to drill in the arctic refuge asap. indeed. it's over.

Posted by: janet concurs w/anonymous, please don't flog me | August 29, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Anyone and everyone who hasn't done or said something worth snarking about for the past six months. Remember, a retailer may return merchandise past its due date to the manufacturer for fresh stock. So it's more a question of "What have you done for the snark recently?" than it is of celebrities who are past their due date.

Even dead celebrities may still have snark worthy material in their will and personal effects. Witness the story of Jim McConaughey's last ride.

Posted by: Sasquatch wonders if Kay McConaughey ketp going till she finished | August 29, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Agreed that all persons involved with Charm City Cakes be on the unsnarkable list (not really what Liz is asking for, but I'm bored with the given list topic).

Posted by: Sully wants alsome cake | August 29, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Qu'ils mangent de la brioche!

Posted by: Marie Antoinette | August 29, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

It looks like the Republicans are courting the celebrity vote. Sarah Palin's children are named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.

Posted by: Groovis | August 29, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Those Charm City Cakes are a bazillion dollars each. My sister-in-law wanted to get one and the price (not to mention the waiting list) was a bit prohibitive.

I have to disagree on Tabitha. She rocks.

We have to add Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley to the can-'em list too.

Posted by: td | August 29, 2008 2:05 PM | Report abuse

It looks like the Republicans are courting the celebrity vote. Sarah Palin's children are named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.

Posted by: Groovis | August 29, 2008 2:01 PM

Isn't Bruce Willis a Repub?

But, Trig? What kind of brute would name a poor defenseless child after a math course? Or is it after Roy Rogers' horse?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 2:06 PM | Report abuse

We have to add Lisa Marie and Priscilla Presley to the can-'em list too.

Posted by: td | August 29, 2008 2:05 PM

Check! They're already on my celebrity Scientologist list.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 29, 2008 2:08 PM | Report abuse

Track, Bristol, Willow and Piper? Sounds like either a Manhattan law firm or she's courting corporate sponsorship for them:

This is my oldest, Track, brought to you by the Gillette Trac razor.
Here's my son, Bristol, who's with us today courtesy of the good folks of Bristol Myers Squibb [n.b. That poor kid COULD have been named Squibb, so Bristol suddenly seems not so bad].
This is my daughter, Willow, brought to you by the nice people at Willow Springs Gun Club.
Here's my youngest, Piper, sponsored by the good citizens at Piper Cub Aviation.

Posted by: Snarky Squirrel | August 29, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

"New-que-ler"??!?!?

Someone do a quick check on Dubya's whereabouts today. Where is he?

You don't suppose that Sarah Palin may be?

Nah! Not possible.

But she says "New-que-ler".

Could it be? Could NIH have possibly created the world's first human sex-change clone?

Owe the nuke clarity!!!

Posted by: Sasquatch is NOT a clone | August 29, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

I have refrained from riffing on Trig, who I believe is the four-month-old infant with Down's. I may be snarky but I have standards. Well, sorta.

Posted by: Snarky Squirrel | August 29, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

I wonder is Ms Palin knew her son was Down's before she named him Trig?

Regardless of Lizards' political leanings, seems like McCain's Veep choice is raw meat.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 29, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Let's just hope the next kid isn't named something like "Cosign" or "Tangent."

Posted by: Groovis | August 29, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Those Charm City Cakes are a bazillion dollars
****
but are they tasty? or is the cake all about looks?
***
not snarking on baby trig, but the name. he didn't pick it. they did.

Posted by: janet ponders the universe | August 29, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Let's just hope the next kid isn't named something like "Cosign" or "Tangent."

***
how about deficit or oilwell?

Posted by: janet suggests a few more meaningful names | August 29, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

My word! You bloggers are just rude people, attacking me for absolutely NO reason. I won't address how horrible the comments made about me were. Just know that I will show them to my DH.

On that note, why don't we change the topic to people who are good and gentle and nice celebrities?

Posted by: Nancy | August 29, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Missed that, Nosy. I'd forgotten Lisa Marie and 'Cilla were 'Cientologists. Thanks.

Posted by: td would never name a child secant either | August 29, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Don't you mean sosine? "Cosign" would be as in a loan, although the possibilities here are endless re the Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac situation.

Posted by: Spelling Police | August 29, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

She's a lifetime NRA member, so Trig is probably short for trigger.

Posted by: epony | August 29, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Cosine

Posted by: Spelling Police is embarrassed | August 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Governor Palin knew he had Down's syndrome before she named him. She knew when she was pregant that he Down's. She chose not ot have an abortion. Guess what vote they are going for there?

BTW, not everyone reading this blog is a liberal, so let's keep the political attacks to a minimum. Attacks the celebs all you want, leave the politics out.

Excellent choice on Billy May. How did that dude get so famous that something he recommends is somethign you must have? he's not even close to Oprah, yet he thinks we must follow his every choice in home products.

Posted by: ep | August 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Don't you mean sosine? "Cosign" would be as in a loan, although the possibilities here are endless re the Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac situation.

Posted by: Spelling Police | August 29, 2008 2:30 PM

Or perhaps Cosine?

Posted by: Hmmm.... | August 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

On that note, why don't we change the topic to people who are good and gentle and nice celebrities?

Posted by: Nancy | August 29, 2008 2:29 PM

We already did that on Unsnarkable Friday a few weeks ago.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Sas - your tag had me spit carrots all over my monitor and desk... BRAV-OH!

Ditto on Ace of Cakes (they are so cool). I am totaly down with the batter dip and deep fry of Paula, Rachel, Bobby and the weird guy with the blond hair. I want to 'hammer and gromit' the mouth shut on that little twitlet from the current season of runway who is trying to steal a little 'fierce' and make it 'licious' which is as pathetic as it is obvious. meh.

Posted by: LTL ' wiping lunch off her monitor' | August 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Governor Palin knew he had Down's syndrome before she named him. She knew when she was pregant that he Down's.

Lordy, she should've given the kid a normal name, so he'd have one less challenge in life, one that was completely avoidable.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse


Ty Pennington and the rest of the Extreme Home-makeover crew. That was a fun show until they started getting all-charity-like.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | August 29, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

i don't see how snarking on names is a political attack. to me, fair game. apple. trig. moses. piper. phinnaeus, willow. dweezil, track, moon unit, bristol, pilot inspekter. the list is endless.

Posted by: janet defends her first amendment right to snark on names | August 29, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

I have a beef with a couple of celebs who are still pretending they are 22 when really, they are pushing 40+. Some of them are talented, some of them ain't. So I don't necessarily want to get rid of them. If they would just act their age, I wouldn't mind having them around. Like, you know, Jenny Mcarthy isn't running around in pleather pants and tongue studs and burping anymore. She's dignified-ish. But Mariah Carey? Girl, you old. Pack up the hot pants and go home!

Madonna
Jennifer Aniston
Carmen Electra
Snoop Dogg
David Arquette

Posted by: daytripper | August 29, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget Moxie Crimefighter!

Posted by: Bawlmer likes the name Markov-Monte Carlo, for all you stats nerds. | August 29, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Ty Pennington and the rest of the Extreme Home-makeover crew. That was a fun show until they started getting all-charity-like.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | August 29, 2008 2:38 PM

********

Seriously. And if Ty really wants to do us a favor, he should not drink and drive at the same time.

Has anyone nominated Solange Knowles yet? We really need to nip that atrocity in the bud.

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 2:49 PM | Report abuse

daytripper, Madonna's now pushing 40 from the other side of 50.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Billy May is also someone for whom I grab the remote and hit mute before my ears bleed.

And what about Buddy from Buddy's carpets? Hasn't been on for awhile but then he had that blond woman who is just as annoying. I thought it was a local thing but then those commercials followed me wherever I went.

Palin is an interesting choice but unfortunately instead of shooting someone else in the face, I think he's shooting himself in the foot.

Posted by: hodie | August 29, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Ty Pennington and the rest of the Extreme Home-makeover crew. That was a fun show until they started getting all-charity-like.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | August 29, 2008 2:38 PM

********

Seriously. And if Ty really wants to do us a favor, he should quit drinking and driving at the same time.

Has anyone nominated Solange Knowles yet? We really need to nip that atrocity in the bud early.

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

daytripper, Madonna's now pushing 40 from the other side of 50.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:50 PM

Not pushing, pulling away.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:54 PM | Report abuse

Sorry about the double post!

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

She can bring home the mooseburger, fry it up the pan.....

Posted by: Groovis is reading Sarah's bio..... | August 29, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

exactly. too damn old to be sticky or sweet

Posted by: daytripper | August 29, 2008 2:57 PM | Report abuse


Oh Nancy,don't you see, I've invented the perfect time machine so we can go back in time by the River Wa-da-doo-dah.

Posted by: Sasquatch plays Nancy's Darling Husband Catherwood | August 29, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

She can bring home the mooseburger, fry it up the pan.....

Posted by: Groovis is reading Sarah's bio..... | August 29, 2008 2:55 PM

Not the "Northern Exposure" introduction moose?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

what about Buddy from Buddy's carpets
***
hodie, dare i ask who buddy is? will bats begin to cloud the skies?
we have tex earnhardt here who rides a bull in his car commercials and hollers "this ain't no bull". groan.
***
btw, bill may is rich, rich, rich. a painful realization.
***
yes, alex, solange (yet another wacky name)
knowles needs to be keehauled and quick.
****
madonna is over 50 but she wants to be 20. she looks scary these days. she needs to prance around the stage in a little house on the prairie outfit.

Posted by: janet ponders billy may & his | August 29, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

What about the woman who does the "Room Store" commercials? If I hear her say "fancy-shmancy" just one more time, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 29, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

I'm coming late to this party, so rather than try to list nominees individually, I'll just start by suggesting anyone who now has or ever has had a show about them on MTV, VH1 or E!. Most of the show hosts, too, with the exception of Chelsea Handler and Joel McHale on E!. (Ryan Seacrest out!)

I like the support that is building for Sarah Palin. In honor of the current political season, let's throw in (out?) Bill O'Reilly, Hannity AND Colmes, and ... oh hell, anyone on the Fox News Network. (Fair and balanced my @ss!)

I saw Miley mentioned a few times above. Let's not forget her daddy, Billy Ray. (Opportunistic AND kind of creepy).

Posted by: Wasatch Tom | August 29, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Amen, Bawlmer.

Posted by: Groovis | August 29, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Catherwood? 'splain, sas.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

fancy-shmancy" rhymes with Nancy.

Nancy, do you live in the Room Store?

Posted by: Sasquatch notes for the record | August 29, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

BTW, not everyone reading this blog is a liberal, so let's keep the political attacks to a minimum.

Posted by: for real | August 29, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

It was interesting that you mentioned the Michael Phelps “backlash,” Liz. On my part, I think Phelps deserves to reap the benefits of his amazing achievements. He’s worked very hard and has accomplished something unique in sports and should garner unique acclaim. Sadly, I think the downside is that Phelps doesn’t appear to be the most dynamic and articulate guy around, so his agent is going to have to be very careful in the kinds of opportunities he exposes him to. When Phelps was being interviewed after his performances, one of his frequent responses was that he was “speechless.” How is he going to handle Saturday Night Live and the VMAs?

(As an aside, I am amazed that celebrities from other fields just don’t seem to understand the commitment and hard work that the Olympic athletes, not just Phelps, demonstrated. It was actually pretty disgusting to hear the comments from people like Young Jeezy, Diddy, and Jo Lo. It was as if they were such pathetic narcissists that they couldn’t stand the spotlight being off them and on the Olympic athletes for the relatively short duration of the Games. I think this is why so many of them also insert themselves in political and social causes. It’s more for personal aggrandizement than deeply held beliefs or for the greater good.)

Posted by: alex obviously needs the long weekend | August 29, 2008 3:22 PM | Report abuse

ANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIE and her BOOBVIES!!!!!
JEN is NOT TOO Famus!! NEVER EVER COULD IT BE! I could NEVER ever SEE to many picture s of JEN the GR8test actres on earth!
AND GOAWAY ELLEN D> AND PIRSHIA!!!
HUGS TO JEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: luvjen | August 29, 2008 3:23 PM | Report abuse

ANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIEANGIE and her BOOBVIeS!!!!!!!!!

JEN IS WAY BETTEr actres and NEVER could she be FAMUS ENUF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And ENOUFf OF ELLEND AND PORSCHE!

Posted by: luvjen | August 29, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Well if you're tired of these old celebrities, we can now focus on Sarah Palin as the Republican VP Nominee. One look at her and I see Tina Fey playing her on SNL!!! Let the games begin!

Posted by: NoVa Native | August 29, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

Um, Tina Fey hasn't been on SNL for a few years now.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 4:18 PM | Report abuse

Is anyone else having problems refreshing this page? I couldn't do it for about 20 minutes and it seemed like I was getting hung up in the WaPo server.

Snarky Squirrel -- if I recall, I think we decided on "Heincer" instead of "Speidi" because Speidi sounds too cool for such a pathetic couple.

Alex, I must have missed something. What comments about Olympic athletes were made by J Lo, Diddy and Jeezy?

I second pretty much everyone mentioned by everyone above, except for George Clooney, who, whether you like him or not, is a legitimate star and doesn't really fit in this category. I'd say a sub-category for the likes of Matthew McC--still legit, but we want him to go away anyway.

Posted by: hermespal | August 29, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

On that note, why don't we change the topic to people who are good and gentle and nice celebrities?

Posted by: Nancy | August 29, 2008 2:29 PM

We already did that on Unsnarkable Friday a few weeks ago.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 29, 2008 2:32 PM

*********

There is no such thing as an unsnarkable person or celebrity. I am reiterating my opposition to the Unsnarkable List and Unsnarkable Friday in principle. (So there.)

On that note, I think that gasbag, Joe Biden, is deliciously, imminently snarkable. His foot is hovering just over his mouth at this very moment. I am squirming with the anticipation of seeing him portrayed on SNL. (Seriously, tho, I do think the *stuff* is going to hit the fan over some of the lobbying activities of Biden's brother and son, Hunter. Not to mention Biden's mortgage/banking legislation. Dems had better be prepared for the tough questions and heavy hitting.)

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 4:26 PM | Report abuse

I've been having probs with the site for the past week or so, hermespal, but it's been especially bad today.

Young Jeezy compared himself to Phelps and Diddy said he'd get a medal in the Sex Olympics. J Lo said she didn't understand why everyone was making such a fuss over that swimmer guy when *she* was training for the triathalon:

http://www.popcrunch.com/jennifer-lopez-michael-phelps-slam-michael-phelps-media-buzz-angers-jennifer-lopez/

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Catherwood is a character in The Further Adventures of Nick Danger.

Wiki entry:

"The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"

"The Further Adventures of Nick Danger" is probably the group's most famous recording, its characters having been reused in many subsequent sketches. It is presented as a 1940s radio drama, the "episode" title here being "Cut 'Em Off at the Past."

Nick Danger (played by Phil Austin) is a '40s-style detective character in the Raymond Chandler mold. In live performances and photographs, he wears the stereotypical fedora and trench coat. He has the obligatory nemesis on the police force, Lieutenant Bradshaw (Bergman), who questions his every move. His "mark" is Rocky Rococo (Proctor), a Peter Lorre imitation. True to the clichés of the genre, there is a butler, Catherwood (David Ossman), and a femme fatale, Nancy (Proctor).

Posted by: The further adventures of Nick Sasquatch | August 29, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

I wish they'd bring Maya Rudolph back to play Sarah Palin.

(BTW, did you all know Maya's mom was Minnie Riperton? It's hard to believe she's been gone so long. . .)

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

alex,

Hunter is Joe Biden's brother AND son?!

Posted by: Sully is aghast | August 29, 2008 4:59 PM | Report abuse

Thank you Alex! Good god, that J Lo bit was simply classic! She could give the entire fictional cast of "Tropic Thunder" a run for the gold in self-absorbed pretentious narcissism!

And she is a perfect candidate for this list, if she hasn't already been mentioned.

Posted by: hermespal | August 29, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, Sully. I should have known I was courting the grammar polizei on that one. I can't remember the brother's name and was too lazy to Google it. And there's more that one son so I was trying to differentiate. Hunter is the lobbyist. Another son is in Iraq right now.

BTW, as someone else noted, it's been a total BKD over on the Capital Weather Gang for the past week whenever there's been a post about Hurricane Gustav. Total insanity!

(Apologies if this multiple posts. Something is going haywire with the WaPo server and I keep getting stuck when I try to submit.)

Posted by: alex | August 29, 2008 5:37 PM | Report abuse

129 comments and no one mentions Courtney Love? come on people...

Posted by: Quintilius Varus | August 30, 2008 3:18 AM | Report abuse

129 comments and no one has mentioned Courtney Love? Come on people...

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | August 30, 2008 3:19 AM | Report abuse

Quint,

Courtney Luv has been making herself scarce lately.

We forgot all about her and were happy.

'sigh'

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 30, 2008 2:41 PM | Report abuse

1. Over-sold,over-paid,no-talents:
Pammie, Lilo & sis, Brangie

2. Enough-already: O and Clooney

Posted by: cheeto | August 30, 2008 11:01 PM | Report abuse

Anyone with the last name of Lohan, Simpson, Hilton (including Perez) or Richards should just crawl into a hole for the benefit of all society. I'm sure I could think of others, but this is a good start.

Posted by: Milano | September 1, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

amy winehouse

Posted by: anon | September 1, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

Bristol Palin.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 1, 2008 9:47 PM | Report abuse

they are so hot and sexy!I see one of them has a picture on the the celebrities and millionaires dating site====daterichsingles.com===.It is very cool! Believe it or not~!

Posted by: BBMARY | September 2, 2008 10:12 PM | Report abuse

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