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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/ 7/2008

Highbrow: Monitoring the Paris-Britney Ad Fallout

By Liz Kelly
Highbrow

After Monday's discussion, I didn't think I'd be talking politics again so soon, but Paris forced my hand.

By now we're all familiar with the ad: in an attempt to diminish opponent Barack Obama, John McCain compared him to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. And despite the fact that it may not make the best Friday List inspiration, there has been some meaty opinion-making over the past week -- weighing the ad's effects on the presidential race and the bleeding of celebrity into the campaign.

As expected, the comparison drew outrage from Paris's mom, Kathy Hilton, who called the ad "frivolous" and a "waste of time and money." (And quite possibly her money, since it turns out Hilton had contributed funds to the McCain campaign in the past). Slate's Christopher Beam even asked if Paris could sue the McCain campaign. Probably not, since "political speech is so highly protected by the First Amendment," he concludes.

But, who would sue when faced with a golden opportunity to ride an unexpected wave of publicity? Not Paris, who fired back earlier this week with her own satirical take on the ad, courtesy of the Will Ferrell backed site FunnyorDie.com:

As if we didn't already realize that John McCain is old and out of touch, the contrast of Paris's well-produced, spot on rebuttal only makes him seem more remote and removed from what makes America tick. (From the voice-over: "He's the oldest celebrity in the world, like super old. Old enough to remember when dancing was a sin.") Score one for Paris.

The NYT's Maureen Dowd thinks McCain's ad is a bellwether for a foundering campaign and a major insight into a candidate green with jealousy:

The Arizona senator who built his reputation on being a brave proponent of big solutions is running a schoolyard campaign about tire gauges and Paris Hilton, childishly accusing his opponent of being too serious, too popular and not patriotic enough.

She continues:

For McCain, being cool meant being a rogue, not a policy wonk; but Obama manages to be a cool College Bowl type, which must irk McCain, who liked to play up his bad-boy cool. Now the guy in the back of the class is shooting spitballs at the class pet and is coming off as more juvenile than daring.

After reviewing the ghosts of campaign ads past, Annabelle Gurwitch (writing in The Nation) not only invokes the infamous Willie Horton ad, but thinks that the use of Paris and Brit only points out the fact that John McCain just doesn't get it: Paris and Brit are geniuses of brand marketing, continuing to rake in the bucks despite an otherwise tanking economy -- so, by likening his opponent to Brit and Paris, McCain is only reinforcing Obama's firm position in our national psyche.

Still, the McCain ad team has decided to doggedly stick to its new theme, yesterday releasing an ad again labeling Obama a -- dare I say it? -- "celebrity." Says the Fix's Chris Cillizza:

Let there be no doubt: Republicans have adopted "celebrity" just as they associated "flip-flop" with John Kerry in 2004.

Why stick with a concept that drew mostly guffaws and head-shaking the first time around? Cillizza continues:

This makes perfect sense considering the success of the "Celeb" ad: It has been watched more than 1.6 million times on YouTube and replayed constantly on network and cable news shows. Another mention of it in reference to this new ad will lead to a whole new round of free air time, further driving the term into the minds of voters.

Although the ad didn't do McCain any favors, he should get some kind of consolation prize (perhaps free admission to next month's AARP convention?) for stumbling on the revelation that Paris and Brit can bring bring more eyeballs and chatter to a campaign than even the most pitched battles over energy policy.

Spears, it should be noted, has remained mum on the ad, though as these clips so skillfully point out -- she may actually have more in common with McCain than Obama.

Please discuss calmly, rationally and with as many references to ponies as possible.

By Liz Kelly  | August 7, 2008; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Britney Spears, Highbrow, Paris Hilton  
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Comments

Dare I say it...this is actually the first time I've actually been impressed by Paris Hilton.

I suspect it may be the only time, but I'll give her credit for this occasion.

Posted by: DC | August 7, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

I hate to think what kind of crazies will drop by today, so I'd like to get my comment in before I go hide under my desk: This ad made me kind of love Paris Hilton.

Posted by: h3 | August 7, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Whoda thunk it? An actual reason for Celebritology to become involved in Presidential politics. Do not be surprised if the next McCain ad circulates the rumor that Obama will name MKO as Director of the FBI.

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 7, 2008 11:04 AM | Report abuse

Paris nailed it, which really isn't anything new I guess...

Posted by: expatasia | August 7, 2008 11:04 AM | Report abuse

I thought there was just a post reminding us that this would not become a political column... Got over that fast, didn't we?

Guess I'll have to go straight to People.com for my daily escape.

Posted by: Doesn't usually post | August 7, 2008 11:04 AM | Report abuse

ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies!

Oh, and, like, I like the Paris Hilton rebuff. I read somewhere that she not only memorized the lines, but did the whole thing in only 4 takes - I'd say that is pretty good. OMG, could the dumb blonde shtick be an act?!? Maybe, just maybe, there are brain cells in there that have not been damaged by too much blonde hair dye and a plethora of drug and alcohol abuse!

And, ponies!

Posted by: sunnydaze - because Liz said I could. | August 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

We can talk about ponies again?!?!?! How exciting!

Posted by: PGM | August 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Seriously - in general Paris annoys me like no other can, but this ad was OUTSTANDING. I gotta give her props where they are due. Maybe we can look forward to more entertaining rebuttals (from all range of celebrities) since McCain seems to be stuck on using this label. That alone could make it all worth his stupid blathering.

Posted by: Elizabeth | August 7, 2008 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Everyone is saying that Paris Hiltons energy plan is better then Obama's or McCains. This is true. But the Hilton Plan is no different then what every average american has been saying for the last couple of months. Its common sense. Is common sense what the campaigns are lacking??? There are many americans like my self that feel like neither of these two are really fit to be president. But yet we are stuck with these two as our presumptive nominees. McCain seems to be slipping a little in his old age with one Gaff after another, even suggesting that his wife be in a biker beauty pagent, Which are topless. Dont believe me go see the video at http://www.mccanes.com they have the video of him knocking stuff off the shelf at the grocery store, videos of him losing his temper. Then there is Obama, He doesnt Gaff quite as much as McCain but he has his share. But its not his Gaffs that are scary but his real moments., LIke the moment of him rapping?? A president busting a rap? what?? If older people seen this they would never vote for him. They have the video of this at http://www.mesocash.com , Now they are starting to float around t boone pickens plan, which is at least an actual plan. The rumor is that Obama is thinking about endorsing it. they have an article at http://www.tboonpickens.com They would be an improvement over the candidates flimsy energy plans. I am hoping that I have a third choice in november. I just am having a really hard time figuring which one these two will do the least amount of damage to our country

Posted by: Peter | August 7, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

I don't like her, but that was FUNNY!

Posted by: Fruitfly | August 7, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

I think the "ponies" was a bribe to keep up hopefully civil and posting. But, I'll take it. We all have a price, apparently, mine is being able to say "ponies" as much as I want.

So, does Paris have a pony in this race? Apparently, her mother does. But, since Paris didn't even vote in the last race, I don't think she cares much about politics. It's just more Paris self-promotion. And considering it could have been another sex tape, this is preferable.

Posted by: ep | August 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, that's what surprises me- that Paris' parents contributed a great deal of money to the McCain campaign and were subsequently rewarded by having their daughter publicly ripped on. (Although, in McCain's defense, Paris has screwed up her own image more thoroughly than anyone else could hope to.)
This also seems like a clever way to answer the allegations that McCain is out of touch- he's saying that he knows there's a exciting public world out there, he just doesn't like it all that much. I can't wait to see him usurp Simon Cowell as American Idol's grump in charge.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 7, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Perhaps the paps can get an "up shorts" shot of "Jim and the twins" when McCain is mounting or dismounting a pony.

Hi-Yo, Nutsack! Away!

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 7, 2008 11:16 AM | Report abuse

DUP at 1104: back then, we could keep Celebritology above (below?) the political fray. Now by their irresponsible campaigning, the politicos have drug the Lizards in, because no self-respecting Celebritologist can avoid commenting on something new Paris has done.

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 7, 2008 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I have a hard time crediting Paris with anything but being able to sit there and read a few cue cards (something else she's got in common with our presidential candidates). Sheesh. I can't decide which'll be worse, four years of liberal apoplexy about McCain winning office, or four years of watching Obama's wheels spin as he tries to turn his fairytale dreams into workable public policy.

Posted by: 23112 | August 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I really don't want to praise anything Paris has done, but darn it to heck it was a good video.

By the way when I run for president I promise a chicken in every pot and a pony in every yard.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

It kills me to say this but I actually like Paris Hilton. She came across as smart, articulate and self-aware, however I think the old Paris will resurface by the weekend.

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Sorry, that was me at 11:19. Interesting, the Anonymous appears automatically now.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

So Kathy "ponied up" for McCain, and as a reward he acts like a pony's *ss?

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

it turns out Hilton had contributed funds to the McCain campaign in the past

Yet Liz woodshedded me just last week for asking about Paris and Britney's possible political inclinations. Glad to see the Queen has come around to my viewpoint.

Still, I doubt Paris will become the Pat Paulsen of the new millennium.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 7, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Ok.

Paris responsed to The Ad.

haw-haw

Been there, done that.

'yawn'

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Personally, I like the AP Headline that went with this video yesterday - "Paris Hilton Offers Tart Rebuttal to McCain Ad." Could she actually offer any other kind??

Posted by: Florida | August 7, 2008 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Paul, that was a lovely post, but lets keep it to ponies and celebs, ok.

Thank you.

Keep On Snarking

Posted by: Snark Police | August 7, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

To the Typo Police:

I meant "responded".

Can I have my pony now?

Posted by: Curmudgeon promises to take it for a walk everyday | August 7, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

I recognized Paris as a spokespuppet when she first had a role on "The Simple Life." Not unlike the Kardashians, she can make money by doing absolutely nothing on TV.

When Paris appeared on McCain's ad, people much brighter than her realized that there was fame and/or money to be had. They wrote a decent skit. Paris no more "memorized" her speech than G.W. Bush memorizes his. Apparently "memorize" has become a euphemism for reading off a 17-inch piece of glass.

Unfortunately, so much of politics and celebrity has become so badly blurred that even Paris can make a political statement when it's the right hand up her backside.

Posted by: *sigh* | August 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

the best part of the whole add was when she told them "I'll see you bithces at the debates." Go Will Farrell!

Posted by: carole | August 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

At least we can give Paris credit for recognizing and taking good material when it's offered to her.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

It kills me to say this but I actually like Paris Hilton. She came across as smart, articulate and self-aware, however I think the old Paris will resurface by the weekend.

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 7, 2008 11:20 AM

Yes but she came across as smart articulate and self-aware only because someone else wrote the lines she memorized. That said, the folks at funnyordie.com deserve a pony for this spot.

Posted by: jes | August 7, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

it turns out Hilton had contributed funds to the McCain campaign in the past

and it turns out no one cares. this is the greatest ad EVER. politics is a joke. two old men rehash the same old boring tripe, and boring adults go back and forth, and ONE ad from paris sums up all the inanity. it's a joke!

she is smarter than you. how does that feel? LOLOL! scooped ya!

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

Yes curmudgeon, you may have your pony. I think we may need a pony park on the island, don't you?

Posted by: jes | August 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

How come Paris has a better energy policy than Obama?

Posted by: Scott | August 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

It will be very hard for those who saw the Paris Hilton video to look at McCain without giggling from now until November. Giggles are good, the snickers that follow will prove to be hard to overcome. Don't presume that the younger generation is not without the ability to skewer public figures with impudence and insight. This election will not be won by "professionals" who believe in playing rough but our young voters who can say the emperor has no clothing.

Posted by: jinx | August 7, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton is far more intelligent, shrewd and cunning that any of you two bit blogger dorks will EVER be. you "hate to admit" that someone more talented, successful and smart than you did a great ad? you must get that feeling alot then.

keep riding that same tired pony, it will only take you to the glue factory.

you have been scooped!

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

I think the Paris Hilton response may teach McCain a lesson. When choosing a target to diss, try someone who looks worse in a bathing suit than you do.

Posted by: arleang | August 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

I didn't think the McCain ad was that bad, but of course any chance for a liberal media to bash a Republican. Whatever.

(And really, if McCain were going to attack Obama's status as a "celeb," I'd've preferred if someone had created a montage of Obama/Europe photos to the backing track of the song "Rainbow Tour" from "Evita":

CHE: Will Obama win through?
DEMOCRATS: But the answer is yes!)

Paris' response ad was funny and well done. And I can only imagine the retakes needed to fit so many coherent sentences together in one clip.

Does either ad change my opinion or vote? No. Do I think celebrities' opinions matter? No. The whole thing is just an example of bored media in pre-convention summer days looking for something to do.

Anyone seen Christina Aguilera's surprisingly moving "Rock the Vote" ad where she sings the National Anthem to a (her?) baby? Wow.

Posted by: td's only comment today | August 7, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

The 3 adults at my house all had the same comment...

"Wow, that's the first time I've ever been impressed by Paris."

Posted by: Susan | August 7, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Why is it that people always assume that because a woman is attractive and blonde, she absolutely must be a dumb-ass? There are PLENTY of beautiful women in the world...but to take that resource and turn it into a fortune requires at least a decent amount of intelligence. Paris Hilton is obviously NOT stupid. I would daresay she'd make a better president than that idiot McCain. Come to think of it, an old guy who didn't even know that Iraq does NOT border on Afghanistan has NO business in the White House.

Posted by: capnmike | August 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

I like pink ponies the best.

Posted by: Ben | August 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

"Please discuss calmly, rationally and with as many references to ponies as possible."

The Lovely Mrs. byoolin has been reading "I Was Told There'D Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley.

Her protagonist has a drawerful of ponies that dates and boyfriends have given her, because of her frequent references to them. She explains:

"I'm not exactly sure how the poinies happened. Though I have an inkling: "Can I get you anything?" I'll say, getting up from a diner table, "Coffee, tea, a pony?" People rarely laugh at this, especially if they've heard it before. "This party's supposed to be fun," a friend will say. "Really?" I'll respond, "Will there be pony rides?" It's a nervous tic and a cheap joke, cheapened further by the frequency whith which I will use it. For that same reason, it's hard to weed it out of my speech -- most of the time I don't even realize I'm saying it. There are little elements in a person's life, minor fibers that become unintentionally tangled with our personality. Sometimes it's a patent phrase, sometimes it's perfume, sometimes it's a wristwatch. For me, it is the constant referencing of ponies."

Posted by: byoolin thanks Liz Kelly for the opening. | August 7, 2008 11:50 AM | Report abuse

I think Paris should run for President I think the country would be better off with some one new.

Posted by: micco69 | August 7, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

please stop taking up space on my home page with this crap.We get it paris is stupid (duh), McCain is old and Obama has a funny name (oh and did I mention he's black).I have to go now,gotta take out a lone so I can fill my car up.

Posted by: russell | August 7, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Shoulda beens:

"I Was Told There'd Be Cake"

"how the ponies happened"

"from a dinner table"

"the frequency with which"

Posted by: byoolin apologizes for his poor typing. | August 7, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

This just proves the original ads point of pointless celebrity nonsense.

Her mom saying "frivolous" and a "waste of time and money.", isnt that what the rebuttal was as well?

She of all people should avoid using phrases like that while trying to DEFEND her daughter.

Any kid with a hiliter could show you what part was truley Paris talking and what part was written for her.

This girl is a retard and we are all hanging on what she will do next. Nothing she does has a bit of weight to it, it's all flashy style. If she were not in a bikini poolside, but in a more serious setting you would all rip her a new one.

Her rebuttal only underscores Mcains point, flashy style and celebrity do not make anything on it's own.

Posted by: she just proves his point | August 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

After McCain stumping at a German restaurant, his economic mouthpiece calling us all whiners and the whole Paris Hilton thing, I bet a lot of Republicans wished they had taken a closer look at Mitt Romney -- he might even OWN a pony.

Posted by: RichLeC | August 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

actual relation to the McCain campaign Joe Lieberman and Lindsey

It's a measure of my recently-adopted practice of Celebritology that when I saw the above line on the Post's online political chat just now, I immediately assumed the next word would be Lohan (rather than Graham).

Owe, the humanity!

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 7, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

McCain's brain trust had better worry about the next Paris ad. If indeed she has found her voice and decides to influence the young voters...no tellin what's in store.....but I've got my popcorn!

BTW, I did enjoy Paris' video and also watching the TV commentators reaction the whole day....lots of humor for sure. GO PARIS!

Posted by: avahome | August 7, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

"After McCain stumping at a German restaurant,"

When I first read that line, why did I read the word as "schtupping"?

Posted by: Sasquatch has his mind in the gutter | August 7, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

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I used to dislike Paris Hilton, but now, uh, not so much anymore. Her ad was brilliant, even though I doubt she wrote it. The "beer in a bucket" line was just a little too remote (and funny) for her.

And, I'm kinda thinking that she's not so dumb as she pretends to be. I've also come to the conclusion that McCain isn't as principled as he pretends to be.

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Posted by: FRANK! | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Okay, everyone who wants Paris for President, please go read the Constitution. Thank you.

Posted by: ep | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

I bet a lot of Republicans wished they had taken a closer look at Mitt Romney -- he might even OWN a pony.

Posted by: RichLeC | August 7, 2008 11:58 AM

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Nah, the Mormons hate ponies, they have too much trouble trying to put the underwear on them.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Way to go, Paris! Her ad rocks. Finally some humor and common sense...and who would have thought it would come from Paris Hilton?

Posted by: Celi | August 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

'Allo! Why didn't McCain or Obama just ask me to sing "Mony Mony" for their bloomin' ads? Look 'ere, mates, I could be singin' "ride the pony" over and over for either one-a them blokes and make all you Yanks 'appy.

Posted by: billy idol | August 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Definitely a blond, dropper, with no job history qualifying her for president.

Paris has my vote! We need inexperienced eye candy in the white house.
With a silicon boob job, she would get 30% of the vote.

As for the current two candidates. Obama is my choice because he young and flips faster than McCain. And he has good speech writers.

Posted by: A TV | August 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Paris may photograph well, but without her famous parents money she would just be another ignorant twenty-something...have you really listened to her rude and crude remarks.... and her pathetic use of the English language???! She is not my idea of a role model for any age female... Stick to the pornographic videos.it suits you.

Posted by: david felix | August 7, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

"After McCain stumping at a German restaurant,"

When I first read that line, why did I read the word as "schtupping"?

Posted by: Sasquatch has his mind in the gutter | August 7, 2008 12:01 PM

You think that's bad? I read it as "stripping"!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

This is the econd time Paris has gotten my Adrenalin pumping. The first was with the s tape.

Posted by: Anoop | August 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Yes, jes.

A pony park, not unlike a parking lot, will be a fine addition to the Lizard Island infrastructure.

Of course, because we are pro-active, we have named a Lizard Island Chief Minimus Equi Herder: epony (who is also in charge of the stable boys)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

The ultra rich an elite usually donate equal amounts to all parties, that way whoever wins will continue to protect their status as 'better than the rest of us'.

It also allows her mother to say "shame on you! I gave you money", to whomever does whatever she disapproves.

They have enough money to back everyone, and expect favours returned later.

If she had courage she would endorse one candidate over the other, I'm sure the breadwinners of the family are smart enough to muzzle her on that, since they likely favour the tax plan of a republican over democrat any day.

EFFF these pigs, her and her mother.
Where's her father on all this? Or any of her antics?


Posted by: don t be shocked | August 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus writes:

"Nah, the Mormons hate ponies, they have too much trouble trying to put the underwear on them."

It's easier to get underwear on sheep. At least it is according to Woody Allen in "Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask."

Posted by: Sasquatch don't know nuthin' bout no underwear on no sheep | August 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

ep does raise a valid point. Therefore:

Paris for Congress!!!

Posted by: Dorkus shudders to think he really just said that | August 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

It would be really funny to see Paris actually show up to one of the debates...

Posted by: dougR | August 7, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

actually, cillizza is in argentina. ed o'keefe, who is blog sitting, wrote the post you cite from the fix.

Posted by: steve | August 7, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Does the pony poop go into the Lizard Island organic vegetable garden?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

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I guess it also shows how empty the McCain campaign is since all he seems to crow about now is oil drilling and the fact the people like Obama more than they like him ('cause a lack of popularity always helps a candidate). Oh yeah, I forgot that McCain wants to "win the Iraq war by winning." Yeah, brilliant logic. Why didn't anyone else think of that?

Say hello to Mr Keating and your ex-wife for me Senator Nobrain!

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Posted by: FRANK! | August 7, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Paris' response ad was funny and well done. And I can only imagine the retakes needed to fit so many coherent sentences together in one clip.

i bet a thousand dollars she could do it faster and better than you. meaning you are dumber and less skilled than paris hilton. now how do you feel, pony coddler?

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

This is the first thing that Paris has done that I have liked. Like many things, her "energy policy" sounds better than it is (even if we added offshore drilling leases right now, it would take several years to get them up and running. Perhaps the companies should stop shipping our oil to other countries and use the leases that are just sitting there). But it is a great response to McCain.

Posted by: Mulvaney | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

To: Dorkus | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM

No wonder you are the Lizard Island Tribal Chieftan.

fun-ny

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

where is paris's aunt kim talk about hot i wanna know where she stands on the important issues in amerca

Posted by: luvkimrichards | August 7, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Why is it that people always assume that because a woman is attractive and blonde, she absolutely must be a dumb-ass?

Posted by: capnmike | August 7, 2008 11:46 AM

Did you never see The Simple Life?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Today we apparently have visitors from the Mean Mommy Blog. Not only that, we have an invasion of the political phallus wads, the grammar police, the troll police and someone who claims to make $500K a year, no doubt working out of home.

Remember the old slur, "A DAMF with a thesaurus"?

Blog commenters have given us a new one:
"A DAMF with an internet connection."

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 7, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

At the intersection of blondes, ponies, and politics lies...

http://www.celebrity-babies.com/images/2008/04/24/elisabethhasselbeck08503_cbb.jpg

(SFW, though you may have to shield your eyes against all the pink.)

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 7, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

O*M*G. She has a better energy plan than McBush, "the wrinkly white haired dude".

Run, Paris, run. You have my vote!!

Posted by: Pony, pony, pony... | August 7, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

Remember, song-and-dance man George Murphy was elected to the Senate. Not to mention the Congressman from the Love Boat, and a certain president.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

I am so sad. Someone actually (seriously) used the word "constitution" in Celebritology. I much prefer the debate over whether Paris is really a dumb real blonde or just plays one on TV.

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Jimmy Kimmel will have to do his version now. After the "I'm F'ing Ben Afleck" video we know he could make a killer vid out of this. How about it Jimmy? Take it home!

Posted by: ThnkingMan | August 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

I think the ad is hilarious, and the lead in with Larry King, yoda, et al? Eeeexcellent.

But cynically speaking, Paris was no doubt paid many poniesworth of bucks for her performance, which was of course scripted by pros. But it's still funny.

But the most salient feature of the whole video? Paris's feet! There's those size umpzillions, front and center! Think they paid her extra for that?

And for RichLeC: Mrs. Mitt has fancy, expensive maximus equi. Rumor is the equids live in California with a fancy trainer, and she flies cross country from Massachusetts to ride them. Just like common folk.

Posted by: epony pony pony | August 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

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********************

[B]About[/B]

SEO: [B]White, Gray, Black Hat and Web Developer[/B] with [B][U]HUGE 8 years experience[/U][/B].

Knowledge of onsite/offsite and PPC optimization, SMO, Viral marketing, HTML, Photoshop (web design), PHP coding, experience with numerous CMS, scripts installations and much more.

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*********************

Posted by: variLernOvamn | August 7, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Will this election campaign turn into an insult contest? Looks like its going that way. Sad. Some people will do anything for attention.

Posted by: Dave | August 7, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Blog, meet shark. Jump over shark (but be careful of the pony). Ah. Successful jump. Well done.

Posted by: point of no return | August 7, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

I think Paris did a nice job on this video. Do you think McCain will get it?
One thing he will not get is the Presidency.

Posted by: Opinionator | August 7, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Now maybe John the Divine will do a similar short skewering the McCain campaign for comparing Obama with the antichrist without understanding the actual theology.

Posted by: JQ | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

LIZ, PLEASE REMOVE SPAM POSTED AT 12:16 PM.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

McCain I have a message for you. "No one likes you, why don't you just quit."

Posted by: MADMAK | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Ponies you say. Make sure they are pink to match the new white house colors after Paris is elected. I thought I would fall off my chair when she actually said something intelligent like drilling for oil as well as alternatives and make sure there is strict environmental control on that drilling. Who would have thought it. She does have a brain...when sober.
Pink Ponies. Sorry Paris, 8 year old girls can't vote.

Posted by: Powerpeace | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

OMG!! I'M DYIN' HERE! A country that can produce the wit and (mostly) intelligent people who made comments to this site has nothing to worry about (other than gas prices). Of course, I'm old too, which makes Obama way more attractive to me, and John McWhatsis is like a messenger from the Reaper. Go away, old man.

Posted by: Patzilla | August 7, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Remember, song-and-dance man George Murphy was elected to the Senate. Not to mention the Congressman from the Love Boat, and a certain president.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:14 PM


Please do not insult the very powerful Senator Gopher!

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 7, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

And now the spammers join us with advertisements about Black Hat Search Engine Optimization bossting hits for gambling sites.

That's it, for me on this installment. I'm outa here. Maybe today's Morning Mix retains some value.

Posted by: Sasquatch has left the building | August 7, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

Sorry ponies, My friend has known Paris for many years, and she really is as dumb as she comes accross....And she didn't memorise anything, she read it off cue...That said GENIUIS to whoever did write it......GENIUS, my pony liked it....

Posted by: Booyah | August 7, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

you are dumber and less skilled than paris hilton. now how do you feel, pony coddler?

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 12:10 PM
------------------------------------

PSST, I think I've deciphered Paris' Celebritology handle.


Posted by: jes | August 7, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

Colbert/Hilton '08! ;-)

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton was awesome. She made me change my mind of her, her generation and realize how boring the political pundits are on television with the O'Reillys and the Kings.

Posted by: Mark | August 7, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton is far more intelligent, shrewd and cunning that any of you two bit blogger dorks will EVER be
****
you're absolutely right. now, go play with someone in another sandbox.

Posted by: janet brushes back the annoying gadfly | August 7, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

second time she's impressed me. first time was suing the publisher of the infamous tape, allowing them to continue selling it, but all damages to her and future proceeds had to go to charity.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

At least Paris can read. More than can be said of Jessica Simpleton.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

See, it's completely unfair to compare Obama to Brittney and Paris.

Britney and Paris have at least a few achievements they can point to that justifies all the media attention.

Posted by: Scott | August 7, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

flashy style and celebrity do not make anything on it's own.

***
should be "its own". can't help it. sorry.
yes, i suppose someone who graduated from stanford, got into harvard law school, became the editor of its law review, was a professor for 8 years at the conservative university of chicago, is someone who would be considered flashy and a celebrity by most. i can see that. right.

Posted by: a wave of sarcasm washes over janet | August 7, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Now maybe John the Divine will do a similar short skewering the McCain campaign for comparing Obama with the antichrist without understanding the actual theology.

Posted by: JQ | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM

Sir, you win.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 7, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain would be proud. When people fail to recognize satire, and mistake a consumer product ('Paris Hilton' TM) as both presidential material and a reason to vote for another celebrity, truly we deserve whatever we get.

It won't be another 4 years of Bush, but it won't be any different either. We vote for the best celebrity, not the best politician.

Posted by: Ponies for Paris | August 7, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Finally, a canadate I feel good about voting for....

She makes more sense then either McCain or Obama....

Paris, you have my vote....

Posted by: mlimberg | August 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

To everyone who was impressed by the energy plan Paris suggested! It is simply not going to work out. It takes 10-20years to exploit new oil fields, so even if they start off-shore drilling now, it will have no effect on foreign oil dependency, but will immediately damage the environment. By the way stop complaining about gas prices. In Central-Europe you pay between $8-9 for the gallon, due to a higher tax burden on gasoline and they still drive too and are having on average a lower household income.

Posted by: Get informed! | August 7, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Janet, Obama got his undergrad degree from Columbia, not Stanford.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

I think that the Paris ad was brilliant. She has stole the show with that simple video clip, as someone of her celebrity status should. I think that America as a whole is sick of the whole presidental campaign, and that all of us will be happy and relieved when it's all over. As a side note: Both nominees are by far not ready to assume the role of president, neither one can make up there minds about their policies or for that matter even choose policies. As for Paris and all the haters, you all just wish that you had a little bit of the spotlight that Paris has. She has once again shocked the public, only this time in a very positive way. Go Paris.

Posted by: Jason | August 7, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Well, this entire situation has shown a very surprising thing. Somewhere in that thick skull of hers, Paris actually DOES have a brain. It's apparently just a well guarded secret.

When you look at someone with a personality like McCain appears to have, is it any shock that his campaign would resort to what are little more than childish insults? It's quite obvious McCain was the highschool bully and, apparently, decided to continue this behaviour into his career.

Really, though, no one should even make an attempt to stop him. If he keeps this tripe up, he's only going to stain his own name further in the eyes of anyone with a sense of either maturity or logic (or perhaps both). I certainly hope both of these are not lacking in the voting body.

Posted by: DJ Delimiter | August 7, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

In this old democracy, the vote of the inept counts the same as the most informed. Normal distribution of intelligence reveals a bottom-heavy side to general incompetence within a population. This is natural, just as excellent musical talents, athletic abilities, financial management, and other talents reside in the minority.
Until votes in a democracy are weighed against education, age, citizenship status, time in country, criminal record, and community service, ridiculous pandering and silly ad campaigns geared to these majorities will be the norm, and our country will remain bonded to sub-prime leadership not only in the office of the president, but in all elected offices.

Posted by: theantibush | August 7, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

"If he keeps this tripe up, he's only going to stain his own name further in the eyes of anyone with a sense of either maturity or logic (or perhaps both). I certainly hope both of these are not lacking in the voting body."

Do the voters responsible for the last 8 years count? Maturity and logic, huh? Perhaps we should look to Paris for these things too.

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

You know, for a politically inclined posting, the comments have stayed fairly civil. Maybe Chris Ciliza and Dan Balz could get all of their commenters to remain civil if they promise to give out ponies.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 7, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Did someone really just attempt to debunk Paris Hilton's energy policy? <-- Note "debunk Paris Hilton's energy policy" was a Googlenope. Rightly so.

Posted by: M Street | August 7, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

"Blog, meet shark. Jump over shark (but be careful of the pony). Ah. Successful jump. Well done."

Is this the shark that bit Ryan Seacrest's toe, or the shark that starred in the short-lived British series "Celebrity Shark Bait"?

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 7, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Let me get this straight.

John McCain... THIS John McCain...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0564587/

http://www.movie-moron.com/?p=714

... is accusing someone ELSE of being a "celebrity"?

Posted by: Pyre | August 7, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer: any change of this shark being the original shark from Happy Days for which the phrase got its start?

Is this a sign of the end-times when Paris makes better political commercials than either politician? Even scarier, when Liz takes Paris seriously? *shiver*

Posted by: Princess Ponies Peekaboo | August 7, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Well, one has to give McCain his due, he did try to sell his wife to the bikers at Sturgis. So at least he knows the value of good entertainment when he lives with it.

Posted by: shpilk katz | August 7, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

"Yes but she came across as smart articulate and self-aware only because someone else wrote the lines she memorized."

Ever hear GWB speak without a script?

Posted by: thebob.bob | August 7, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Aside from being smart and funny, Paris's response to McCain's juvenile political ad was exceptionally well done, with vastly superior production values and technique.

It also highlights an interesting layer of reality beneath the consensual reality: that in a media age form can trump substance every time.

This time however, the majority of us are really fed up with the lies, manipulation and destruction of our country by the likes of Bush, Cheney and Carl Rove.

What McCain seems not to comprehend that he is sacrificing all of his good and noble qualities by adopting the "do anything to win" strategy.

Its too bad. I used to respect him.

Posted by: conch | August 7, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

Hey dumb dumbs, everyone person in the U.S. knows it will take years to feel the effects if we start drilling now. So, what is your point? We will still need the oil in 10 to 20 years so we still need to start drilling NOW.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Paris may have had great material to start with, but her delivery of it was excellent. She even changes the pitch of her voice when she goes into her energy policy. It was very well done at a time when we desperately needed a humorous break in the presidential race mess. The JibJab piece this year was disappointing so I'm glad others are getting funny items out there.

Posted by: JLF | August 7, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

"Yes but she came across as smart articulate and self-aware only because someone else wrote the lines she memorized."

Ever hear GWB speak without a script?

Posted by: thebob.bob | August 7, 2008 12:51 PM

******************************

Or hear him speak with a script?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

The wrinkly white-haried guy's staff should check with Jimmy Breslin before they try anymore attempts at humor.

He's the dude who wrote, The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight!

Posted by: Vienna Voter | August 7, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

"In this old democracy, the vote of the inept counts the same as the most informed. Normal distribution of intelligence reveals a bottom-heavy side to general incompetence within a population."

Wow, you don't sound pompous at ALL! that's why we love pop culture, it proves you highbrow wannabes are about as intelligent as your average coal miner. and much more obnoxious.

paris for president.

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

For those of you that think Paris Hilton is all of a sudden smart or is only playing dumb, please review the attached quotes. I am pretty sure you will go back to your original thinking

http://www.notable-quotes.com/h/hilton_paris.html

Posted by: Paris is as dumb as you thought | August 7, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Pyre has got it right.

McCain has appeared on Leno and Letterman almost as a regular, WWE/WWF and '24'.

But here's the smooth move that should endear John McCain to the religious right, it's the appearance in a movie that was mostly an excuse for women to remove their brassiere [Wedding Crashers] .. that is to say, the ones that were wearing brassieres to begin with.

I think they call it titillation.


Posted by: shpilk katz | August 7, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Paris just validated McCain's point. Now Obama has Paris in his corner, and millions more just like her...

Posted by: Big Top | August 7, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Ever hear GWB speak without a script?

Posted by: thebob.bob | August 7, 2008 12:51 PM

Don't really need to, I've heard him (m)uck it up enough times with a script.

Posted by: jes | August 7, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

It all boils down to the old precept, that you never, ever, put a witness on the stand unless you are exactly sure what they are going to say. By openly mocking McCain as a wrinkly old guy, Paris has put the final nail in the coffin of an election that was going to be lost in a landslide anyway. Obama owes her bigtime, will probably make her Shoe Czar or Bikini Czar or Energy Czar. Loves it.

Posted by: Evil Genius | August 7, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

"Hey dumb dumbs, everyone person in the U.S. knows it will take years to feel the effects if we start drilling now. So, what is your point? We will still need the oil in 10 to 20 years so we still need to start drilling NOW."

That's brilliant.

The oil industry has 68 million acres already approved by the Federal government they aren't drilling on there NOW. What's stopping them from doing so, Einstein?

Got an answer? I doubt it.

Oh .. if people paid attention to their tire pressure _ALONE_ it would offset these 'benefits' TODAY, rather than wait 10, 20 years. God forbid they should drive more slowly, plan trips ahead, stop nailing the accelerator to the floor when the light turns green.

"It's my God given right to waste gasoline as an American. I demand my rights to poison the planet so I can pimp how fast my
ride can accelerate from 0 to 60."

You want BRILLIANT, that would be YOU and every punk teenager that thinks racing up and down the street to impress the opposite [or same, in this modern world] sex.

It's NASCAR that is the thing that needs to change, not polluting more of the planet.


Posted by: shpilk katz | August 7, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

If you only vote once this November, vote Obama.

Y'all are just jealous because she's richer than you, pertier than you, and mo' intellijent too.

Posted by: the Wizard | August 7, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Paris said it best, "wrinkly white-haired dude". Do not expect more from a guy who is a true affirmative action Navy officer ( cant even save his plane from guys with handguns. Obama did not even mention he is black in harvard law application.

Posted by: Abm Habibullah, Plano, TX | August 7, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

The problem for McCain is not Obama. It is his own party already splintered due to the bad policies of the Bush regime. For his convention, McCain wants to distance himself from Bush and especially Cheney. So McCain has sent a letter of uninvitation to Cheney, saying he should fake a heart attack on the wee hours of the convention and not bother to show up. At the end the only people McCain will have on his side are Liebermann and the golden girls.

Posted by: Jim Tubb | August 7, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Not to get off our regulary scheduled snarking, but Phil Gramm was right, we ARE a nation of whiners. Why conserve energy by turning off lights, setting the AC on 80, driving slower and keeping our cars maintained, including properly inflated tires when we can just drill for a few more gallons of oil. What happens when that's gone? The only viable energy policy is conservation, not drilling.

Stepping off of soapbox now, back to the snark.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Paris nailed it and I'd like to nail her.

Posted by: Nathan | August 7, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

I love you Paris Hilton.

Posted by: Nathan | August 7, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

That's Hot!

Posted by: GIVEMESOMEDAT | August 7, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

That video about paris and mccain was some funny s**t

Posted by: Dave | August 7, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

i'm a pony

Posted by: who | August 7, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

Pyre above got it right. McCain has long been known in Washington circles as a celebrity hound. Since his failure to get the nomination in 2000 he has more appearances on late night entertainment shows than ALL OTHER members of Congress COMBINED per reports by entertainment magazines that monitor such things. Then there are the movie and TV serial appearances. And he hosted SNL. McCain has been a celebrity since he was the son of a high ranking admiral when his plane was shot down in Vietnam. And HE accuses another politician of being a "celebrity"???!!! This sounds like classic Karl Rove tactic...when your candidate has a major flaw, accuse the opponent of it first.

Posted by: Peter | August 7, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

when you candidates has a major flaw, accuse the opponent of it first.

That's called projection.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton has always had a firm grasp of things....forty years ago she would have been a natural for the Timex watch commercial and their famous slogan.
Her solutions for problems aren't any worse than those advanced by our esteemed leaders in Washington.
If there were term limits on Senators and Congressmen we wouldn't be having this discussion, and, most likely, we woudn't be in a recession or a war.

Posted by: Good 'Ol Boy | August 7, 2008 1:36 PM | Report abuse

I liked the infra red shot of her bent over and taking it from behind...kinda like what an Obama economy will be like


http://election.newsmax.com/morris_depression.html?s=sp&promo_code=6751-1

Posted by: rtfanning | August 7, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Great Job Paris

McCain is older then Moses

Posted by: Gecko Gecko | August 7, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

you are out of touch with
reality, if you think
the Paris Hilton 'culture'
is '''in''''

Posted by: bob hob | August 7, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse


Once again, the PRESS makes up the entire issue, inflating a piece of trivia into a "story" and then endlessly tracks and comments on the imaginary story.

This is NO story here except that our puerile jounalists, who think they are our wise counselors, have already pre-picked the next president for the masses.

Posted by: Gordon | August 7, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Paris appeared more brainier, polished and well positioned to take over the white house than John McCain. John McCain on the other hand is preparing very well to take over the white house. He recently contacted the company that makes dentures and asked for a group rate for dentures for his entire white house staff. His staff will include the lady who appeared in "where's the beef" commercial as the chief of the FDA. Also McCains inauguration speech will be followed by bochy ball in the white house lawns and a few rounds of Bingo.

Posted by: Jill | August 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

The Obama supporters are running in droves to support....Paris Hilton. It's true, McCain will now have to spend the rest of his campaign living down the fact that he is 72. Obama, however, will spend the rest of his campaign trying to live down the fact that he is a shallow, substanceless candidate.

Posted by: ttj | August 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Paris ponies up to the challenge like no other - I mean really, our Presidential hopeful McCain has been outmaneuvered by someone who presents a superficial, "ditzy" persona?

Mr. McCain should save everyone some effort and cash and just ride his pony into the sunset, right now. It's embarrassing otherwise.

Posted by: Ponyboy | August 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

This is my first post to this blog, and most likely my last, but shouldn't the real credit for the Hilton ad be given to her publicist? It is a snarky little piece (no pun intended), but given Ms. Hilton's intellectual lights, I doubt that she thought this up all by herself.

Posted by: senigma | August 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer: any change of this shark being the original shark from Happy Days for which the phrase got its start?

Posted by: Princess Ponies Peekaboo | August 7, 2008 12:48 PM


Is he still working? I thought he'd bought a lagoon off Marlon Brando's personal island.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 7, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Hey why is it In Mccaines ad he never said anything Negative about Paris but when it comes to Liberals they always have to say negative things about a person ((the old guy, the guy with wrinkles this is what
she said )) Once again if they can't win with logic Just shoot off negative remarks. Paris is well aware of how she became famous and Mccain never said anything about her Negative.

Posted by: idontdrinkthekoolaide | August 7, 2008 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Is "bought the lagoon" fish talk for "died"?

Posted by: byoolin wonders. And then bbqs a nice shark steak. | August 7, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

Since Sunnydaze took my idea about writing ponies over and over, my next idea is to replace certain nouns in a snarky/flaming post with "ponies." There aren't really many snarky/flaming posts, so I'll use the pompous one from antibush:

"In this old pony, the vote of the ponies counts the same as the most informed. Normal distribution of ponies reveals a bottom-heavy side to general incompetence within a population. This is natural, just as excellent musical ponies, athletic ponies, financial ponies, and other ponies reside in the minority.
Until ponies in a democracy are weighed against education, age, citizenship status, time in country, criminal pony record, and community service, ridiculous pandering and silly ad ponies geared to these majorities will be the norm, and our country will remain bonded to sub-prime ponies not only in the office of the president pony, but in all elected ponies.

The end!

Posted by: Em - misses her My Little Ponies | August 7, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse


What is the problem dud?
Yeh? the problem?
Yes the Problem
I don't know!!!
But I think I want to be New & Popular? Like ...U know?
Do you?
Yep!
Then, play like...
What?
Play like...
Can I???????
I don't know!!! dud.

Posted by: Cherinet | August 7, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Who do the Lizards think will play Paris Hilton this fall in the SNL send-up of her campaign ad? My money's on Paris herself.

Posted by: Nosy Parker, getting geared up for Queen Liz's 2 PM chat | August 7, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

the good thing is none of you paris lovers actually vote..HAH. in politics there is a saying: 18% at 18 and 80% at 80. considering most of this country is at or past middle age I dont really think Mac could give a pile of rat poop about a bunch of paris and britney fans.. that was his point.

Posted by: middle of the road | August 7, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

you are out of touch with
reality, if you think
the Paris Hilton 'culture'
is '''in''''

Posted by: bob hob | August 7, 2008 1:39 PM

Is that supposed to be a haiku? If so, it's four syllables too long.

Oh! And McCain went on SNL to make fun of his age. My mom thought it was funny. I thought the "Mike Huckabee not knowing when to say goodbye" was funnier. McCain's appearance was just a lame and failed attempt to connect with his disenchanted younger constituency. Way to be out of touch, Mr Senator.

Posted by: Em - PS | August 7, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

Well that was cool, Paris it takes alot to make me think of you in a Postitive light, But Girl you are spot on, You rock, Mcain, probley thougt you were a hotel in Paris France, before some told him who you were.

Posted by: RaferJanders | August 7, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

"Sock it to ME?"

See, it worked.

Posted by: Richard Nixon | August 7, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin at 1:46

Thanks for another pithy entry for the Glossary.

Now at last I have a way of expressing my final instructions without upsetting anyone:

When I buy the lagoon, please have my memorial service in the Lizard Island Beach blow up church.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Regarding that Hasselbeck photo with the giant pony... I have a confession. It's from a stage show called the "My Little Pony: Biggest Tea Party in the World." I took my nieces to see it when it was in town and I have pictures to prove it. I'm still slightly ashamed now 6 months later.

Posted by: PGM | August 7, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

I never read this blog before,
Tis eminently fun.
I have a pony in this race
Who's not to be outdone.

Vote Obama.

Posted by: Ellen | August 7, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Paris, I want you to have my love child!

Posted by: Franky Stein | August 7, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

LOVE YOUR VIDEO PARIS... GOOD FOR YOU GIRL!!!

Posted by: DAVEDINNAPLESFL | August 7, 2008 2:11 PM | Report abuse

If she doesn't already have one, give Paris a pony! ; )

Posted by: Maritza | August 7, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Every time a commenter types in all caps, God kills a pony. Paris Hilton thrives on pony tears.

Posted by: Ponies for Paris | August 7, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Every time a commenter types in all caps

Whoops, 1st time through I read that as: Every time a commenter types in all cr@ps

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Every time a commenter types in all caps, God kills a pony.

Posted by: Ponies for Paris | August 7, 2008 2:17 PM

****

Well, that explains the mess in my backyard.

Posted by: (and, indirectly, my recent fondness for the taste of horseflesh), says byoolin | August 7, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

No ponies for oil!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

jest shut up evry1. parris is a bimboo whoo dusent no what she is takling about. whenhe is presadent his war and edacation and muney plans will make the USA awsum!

Posted by: luvmckane | August 7, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Does the pony poop go into the Lizard Island organic vegetable garden?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 12:09 PM

Ponies do not poop. Nuh-uh. they don't. No they don't. They DON'T! LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Posted by: ADHD | August 7, 2008 3:06 PM | Report abuse

Please, please, can't SOMEONE tell little miss no-talent hilton to grow UP, read a REAL book instead of just fluff magazines, and get a REAL job somewhere?

Posted by: Alex | August 7, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

Alex, would you have liked Paris' campaign ad better if she'd been reading "War and Peace"?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 3:34 PM | Report abuse

"Please, please, can't SOMEONE tell little miss no-talent hilton to grow UP, read a REAL book instead of just fluff magazines, and get a REAL job somewhere?"

------------------------------------------
Certainly.

Paris Hilton, you have no talent. Grow up, read a real book and get a real job. In that order.

This has been a pubic service announcement.

Posted by: Dr. Phil | August 7, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Nice Freudian typo there, Dr. Phil.

Alex, why should she? She has raked in far more money in the last 5 or so years than she could ever make with a "real job."

Posted by: jane | August 7, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Maybe the economy would be better if presidential candidates could, like, make money by going on TV and doing nothing.

I heard John McCain is so old he can't ride a horse anymore, and he has to use a pony.

I love the web quiz, "My Little Pony or Porn Star?"

Posted by: chocolatetiara | August 7, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, forgot link:

http://www.brunching.com/pornorpony.html

Posted by: chocolatetiara | August 7, 2008 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Classic BKD

Posted by: Anonymous | August 7, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

On CNN homepage right now: "Paris did ad in 4 takes -- from memory!"

Posted by: and she got dressed all by herself too | August 7, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

As the so-called "Lizard with the initial pony fixation," I had to get my two cents in.
I've been gone all day long at a funeral and I come home to a pony-thon of mythic or BKD proportions. Thank you Liz Kelly. You knew I needed this.

Posted by: methinks | August 7, 2008 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Methinks - can I fix you a mojito at the bar? Sounds like you could use one right about now....

Posted by: Groovis | August 7, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

The "threat" by Paris to enter the campaign is BAD NEWS for the "God D@#! America" crowd. This group now has TWO equally unqualified people to choose from. hussein and Paris share many of the same gifts: both have created the same amount of useful legislation; both have the same level of foreign policy expertise; both are equally shallow and self-absorbed; both are equally experienced expert-level drug users; and so on, ad nauseam. Splitting the vote will ensure defeat for both!

Thank you Paris, this is the first worthwhile thing you've done in your entire pathetic life.

=======
Also: A Washington Post article in the 24 February 2005 edition incudes the following quote from TheOne:

"Andy Warhol said we all get our 15 minutes of fame," says Balack Obama. "I've already had an hour and a half. I mean, I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse."

Posted by: ALEX H. | August 7, 2008 5:06 PM | Report abuse

ALEX H.?

Go home.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 5:08 PM | Report abuse

Pony

But does Paris suck or blow with the gas pump?

Posted by: John | August 7, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

I'm still catching up, but I like the "pony coddler" reference from 12:10. Sounds like a horse whisperer, but way dirtier.

Posted by: alex | August 7, 2008 6:20 PM | Report abuse

Liz? What happened to all the old comments? They were deleted as part of the software "upgrade" yesterday?

Posted by: TBG | August 7, 2008 6:52 PM | Report abuse

Did you see McCain's camp bragging that Paris had endorsed his energy policies? I don't blame them, she's the most credible person who has.

Posted by: Aleks | August 7, 2008 7:18 PM | Report abuse

Someone had asked earlier if it would be preferable for Paris to read "War and Peace".

So, I looked at the vid again and couldn't help but notice that Mz Hilton had some reading material on her lap.

I wonder: is there a comic book version of "War and Peace"?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 7, 2008 7:38 PM | Report abuse

Ah, she's still the same old dumb tw@t.

Posted by: mainer | August 7, 2008 9:51 PM | Report abuse

Ah what a lovely pony day! Loved reading the comments. Goodnight, and have a pony tomorrow.

Posted by: rachelt | August 7, 2008 10:37 PM | Report abuse

I don't like Paris either, but she was stunningly impressive in this video. Props, dawg.

Posted by: LLL | August 8, 2008 2:13 AM | Report abuse

Wow, on this side of the Atlantic Ocean, we are not that aware of current campaign twists. It is noteworthy, however, that McCain achieved something nobody else ever did: he made even P.H. look smart by comparison.
There is but this nagging suspicion: is this an elaborate, expensive plot to promote the next season of "The Simple Life"? Did McCain just try to cash in one last time, by giving P.H.'s marketing team an opener?

Posted by: Hagar57 | August 8, 2008 4:34 AM | Report abuse

I just love these people who put Paris down. I've never been a fan of hers, but at least I know she did it in four takes, and was not reading from cue cards. I know these are little people, who are filled with jealousy. They probably call themselves Christians. If I didn't know that Jesus rose from the dead, I would say he is turning over in his grave, to see what he stodd for being polluted and perverted by these self-righteous republicans.

Posted by: Richard | August 8, 2008 8:13 AM | Report abuse

McCain,Wake up You Idiot!!! You Old Fool, you let politics cloud your mind, You Disgraced the Vietnam Brothers who fought in the same war, I am a Vietnam Veteran and yet to this day I wont disclose a lot of what happened over there while you were schieled as a P.O.W. did you ever consider the bloodshed of your brothers at the same time you were protected from enemy fire. Yet you use it for a political scheme I Disown you as a brother of Nam. The younger generation are laughing at you, and at the same time making you look like an "OLD FOOL" as the Vets from Nam hang thier Heads in Disguist!!!

Posted by: Mr.PAUL | August 9, 2008 10:00 AM | Report abuse

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Posted by: pocketpc aol instant messenger | August 13, 2008 12:14 AM | Report abuse

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