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Posted at 7:39 AM ET, 08/13/2008

Morning Mix: Clooney Says He's Not Advising Obama

By Liz Kelly
Wednesday

Headlines: George Clooney denies advising Barack Obama on foreign policy, escapes rabid fan in Italy... Isaac Hayes likely died of stroke... Britney Spears would rather her sons stay out of the entertainment business... Diddy says he could win an Olympic medal in sex... Publicity shy Rihanna and Chris Brown snapped vacationing in Barbados... Dane Cook whines blogs about "boring" poster for his new movie... Producers sue, saying Paris Hilton failed to adequately promote movie... Jennie Garth "bummed" that Tori Spelling won't be part of new "90210"... Pic: 19-year-old Ryan Seacrest shouldn't have.

Crime Watch: John Lennon's killer denied parole for fifth time... DMX misses court date in Arizona drug case.

Rumor Mill: Adrian Grenier and Isabel Lucas split... '60s-era Batman Adam West to join "Dancing With the Stars?"... Denise Richards says she won't be joining him... Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer already over? (second item).

By Liz Kelly  | August 13, 2008; 7:39 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

And we would rather Britney Spears stay out of the entertainment business.

What's with Rihanna's bikini? Does she have another one just like it at home with the patterns reversed? [Insert Umbrella-ella-ella quip here.]

Dane Cook! Where do I begin? How about "who keeps giving this guy work?!" And that quote! "I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting." No kidding. But are you F-U-N-N-Y? No.

And good for Diddy. After all, he already won the Grammy, the Tony, the Emmy and the Oscar for sex. It was inevitable, really. (Bronze medal?)

The Seacrest pic is hokey, but I almost lost my breakfast reading the teaser for the separate story: "Martin to Seacrest: My Tip Is Bigger than Yours." That's what I get for reading that story after the Diddy one.

Posted by: td | August 13, 2008 8:34 AM | Report abuse

Diddy could easily win the Olympic medal for modesty.

Posted by: Arlington | August 13, 2008 8:49 AM | Report abuse

George Clooney would make a lousy foreign policy guy: "What you need to do, Mr. President, is look Putin in the eye, avert your gaze a little, tuck your chin in like -so- and then look at him again. He'll be putty in your hands, Mr. President."


Isaac Hayes: That cat 'stroke' is a bad motherf*****.


Would Diddy's gold be in the coxless four, or the clean-and-jerk?


Dane Cook, that poster is probably the best thing about your DaneCook new movie.


I'm giving Seacrest a pass on that picture *only* because he was 19.


John Lennon's killer denied parole for fifth time, further diluting the argument that happiness is a warm gun.


DMX AWOL? WTF? He shouldn't have been ROR and now we need an APB, PDQ.


"Quick, Robin, to the Dance Cave! You'll have to wear that dress I picked out for Miss Richards."

Posted by: byoolin | August 13, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Who wudda thought that Denise Richards has standards?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 9:09 AM | Report abuse

Garh! td you beat me to the punch on the Britney item.

Ryan Seacrest....mooooobs!

Posted by: Dorkus | August 13, 2008 9:11 AM | Report abuse

I'm just wondering how long it will take for Adam West to do the Bat-tusi on DWTS.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 13, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus, that is some gentle comedy.

Posted by: Sully loves it. | August 13, 2008 9:16 AM | Report abuse

I'm pretty sure diddy gets a gold medal for Handball

Posted by: Dorkus chanting USA! USA! USA! | August 13, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

Holy DaneCook! I think Dane Cook is coming up with an excuse for why his movie bombed before it bombs.

The interesting thing about Diddy's claims is that none of the women he's been with are coming forward to back him up. I'd think one of them would cosign.

Posted by: petal | August 13, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Diddy is such a tool.
He needs to go away.

Posted by: shinystuff | August 13, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Do you think Diddy's skills would stand up to the requisite substance testing?

Posted by: Sully | August 13, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

All I know is I wouldn't want to be the guy in line after Diddy used the chalk station...

Posted by: byoolin | August 13, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

I'm sure Jennie Garth is "bummed!!! =(" that Tori Spelling isn't doing the new 90210.

Posted by: M Street | August 13, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

As much as I hate to admit having read the JG chat, I must give M Street props for owing me a new keyboard.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 13, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Dane Cook could win an Olympic medal for douchy-ness.

Posted by: beaker | August 13, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Move over Facebook, The Hoff has created the social network we really need:
http://www.davidhasselhoff.com/
His rationale:
"I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me... So I decided to start a network where people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me."

Posted by: mouse | August 13, 2008 10:05 AM | Report abuse

Holy Methuselah, Batman! Adam is almost 80?! First Priscilla Presley, who was in her 60s, now Adam West. DWTS is now moving to garner the geriatric set.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

"Clooney has offered to support Obama, even if that means keeping at arm's length from the candidate out of concern that his celebrity would distract from the campaign."
===
I'm seeing a FRIDAY LIST in this item. Which celebrities would we like to see "do a Clooney" and keep away from campaigns or causes out of concern that their celebrity is becoming a distraction?

I volunteer Pam Anderson to "Clooney" out of PETA for a while.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Um, I really don't like Dane Cook that much (though as a lapsed Catholic, his "Christ Chex" bit kills me).

And yeah, he's whiny. To the nth nth degree.

And after visiting IMDB, do I have any desire to go see this movie? Not a shred.

But, I gotta say as someone who works with a lot of graphic designers and marketing professionals? He's actually pretty spot on in his assessment of what's wrong with the poster.

*takes a big swig of iced tea to clear the taste out of her mouth after admitting that*

Posted by: Chasmosaur | August 13, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Clooney out - (v) to remove oneself from situations out of fear of becoming a distraction. Usage: "Citing a lack of suitable plot lines for her Grey's Anatomy character, Katherine Heigl decided to Clooney out of consideration for an Emmy."

Posted by: clw recommends an addition to the Lizard dictionary | August 13, 2008 10:27 AM | Report abuse

"It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My character's name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold."

===
Gee Dane, so your point is that the poster suggests a far more interesting movie than the one it actually advertises?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

MoCo, that'd be a great list. I'd also like to see less of Pam Anderson and more of, y'know, the actual cause.

And smart move on Clooney's part. I remember him saying a while back that he was going to keep as low a profile as possible re: Obama support. Because the last thing a guy with "elitism" problem needs is a famous and wealthy buddy who owns a villa in Italy and vacations there on a regular basis. ARUGULA-EATERS!

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 13, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

BREAKING NEWS: Julianna Marguiles is not advising John McCain on the environment.

Burt Ward, call your agent.

And much as I hate Dane Cook, he's right that the poster is poorly designed. But c'mon, "Although I'm not a marketing major" -- dude, you're 36! I think you meant, "wasn't" a marketing major. (Right?)

(He's probably also mad that the photo looks just like his smug little annoying self. I'd be unhappy too with that visage.)

Posted by: td also is laughing about byoolin's chalk station comment | August 13, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

OK, I need a good laugh this morning. The Hoff piece came close, but not quite. Good try, Mouse.

Anyway, so I clicked on the "rabid Clooney fan" linky and the little bubble that pops up over the picture says "George Clooney with friend Manuele Malenotti on a motorbike trip to Portofino, Italy 08 Aug 2008"

But the picture shows George on his bike by himself, with the "mature" fan waving at him.

Where's Manuele? There is a rather large, black nylon bag attached to the back of the bike....

Should I be concerned about this?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, confused | August 13, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

I just realized, IT'S GEORGE CLOONEY CLOONEYING OUT on his good friend, Manuele. He's traveling with Manuele, but in order to avoid being a distraction (after all, he's attracting "mature" rabid fans) he's not traveling WITH Manuele.

So I'm to think he really broke up with Sarah the Bartendress because he no longer wanted to distract her. He walked away from ER so as not to distract us from the other characters....It all makes sense to me.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, not confused any more! | August 13, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Given that Hoff thinks he has found the answer to promoting world peace, maybe he should be the one advising a presidential candidate? At least we know he eats hamburgers and not arugula.

Posted by: mouse | August 13, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

"As the couple holiday together in Rihanna's native Barbados,"
===
Quick! Someone needs to contact Paris Hilton to notify her that if she were old enough to run for President, Rihanna would not qualify as her Veep.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

You know, I really hate to admit this, but in the picture accompanying the WaPo article about Paris Hilton getting sued, she actually looks pretty good. Almost human, even.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/13/AR2008081300933.html

Posted by: ADHD wonders what kind of day he's going to have now | August 13, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Hey Dorkus, you've got the wrong sport. Diddy would take the gold in POCKETBALL!!!!

Posted by: Brutal | August 13, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Wow, ADHD. That picture is like a glimpse of a future in which Paris has become a ::sudder:: respectable citizen and is on her way to report to Congress on her new energy plan (still wearing a bit of bling, of course). I simply will not know what to do with myself.

Posted by: Sully | August 13, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

...that should say "shudder"...

Posted by: Sully is still fearful of a certain grammar cop | August 13, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

I'm sure Jennie Garth is "bummed!!! =(" that Tori Spelling isn't doing the new 90210.

Posted by: M Street | August 13, 2008 9:47 AM

M Street you owe me a new monitor.

Posted by: juju | August 13, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Dammit, I have to confess. I have to stand up and confess.

Dane Cook makes me laugh.

There, I've said it. Will someone PLEASE give me penance and let me go on my way?

Posted by: 23112 | August 13, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

TO: clw recommends an addition to the Lizard dictionary | August 13, 2008 10:27 AM

Yes, clw, perfect!

Clooney-out has been added to the Celebritology Universe Unabashed Glossary of Terms

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

12:46 PM BBT Tuesday, August 12 - Early afternoon random conversations
http://www.tvgrapevine.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1555:1246-pm-bbt-tuesday-august-12-early-afternoon-random-conversations&catid=46:bb10lfus&Itemid=73

Michelle has a globe and is pointing out to Renny and Dan where the Azores is located. Michelle says now you guys now where I come from in America and in Europe. She speaks Portuguese to Dan. Michelle is baby talking that she was here, when she ran her marathon. I says I can't find where Sidney is but it was three hours from Sidney... She finds Sidney... oh look, there's a Warwick there, there's a Warwick in Rhode Island. Michelle says where is Switzerland. I always wanted to go to Amsterdam. Moving on to Las Vegas and Baja California, Brazil, San Paulo... Michelle says I want to go to carnival. She baby talks that her mommy said she would be the best Brazilian dancer. Renny says you will someday..

Posted by: well, at least someone on Big Brother knows a little geography! | August 13, 2008 11:08 AM | Report abuse

Yeah...as much as Dane Cook can be a douchenozzle and even though he should never have crossed over to movies and even though he's "borrowed" some material, the man has damn good delivery. Or at least had damn good delivery. He got me through some tense times in college.

("...a tire, hit Mary in the FACE. What was her face doing near a tire? No, no, no. This tire hunted Mary down. It wasn't $%#&ing around, as we like to say.")

Posted by: Now that 23112 has come out, Sully feels she can do the same | August 13, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

TO: clw recommends an addition to the Lizard dictionary | August 13, 2008 10:27 AM

Yes, clw, perfect!

Clooney-out has been added to the Celebritology Universe Unabashed Glossary of Terms


Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 11:05 AM

-------------------------------------------
Thanks, 'Mudge! Props to MoCo for the idea.

Posted by: clw gives credit where credit is due | August 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

I wonder if that's why George Clooney didn't attend the Summer Olympics.

He didn't want to distract from things like that cute little girl lip-syncing for that ugly kid behind the curtain and all the other goings-on.

What a guy. Effortless altruism.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Since others are admitting it, I too once found Dane Cook to be funny. Christ-Chex, Jeezits, Croutons-o-Christ still makes me laugh.

I hang my head in SMAME.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 13, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

23112, I share your shame. I laughed my head off at "Employee of the Month" - what can I say? I thought Dane Cook was funny. I'm sure I'll pay for that in the afterlife.

And, uh, I really don't want to think about Puff Diddy AT ALL, especially not in terms of s-e-x. Ewwwwwwww.

Posted by: jaybbub | August 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Sorry 'bout the extra month.

Posted by: jaybbub | August 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Oh yeah, and I'd totally watch Adam West on Dancing with the Wanna-be and May-Have-Been Stars. He's hilarious! Read his interview on www.theavclub.com. He doesn't take himself too seriously, which is always a plus when it comes to "celebrities".

Posted by: jaybbub just can't stop posting | August 13, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

I'm better than George Clooney: I'm not advising BOTH candidates!

Posted by: Stick | August 13, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

So will Diddy be competing in the singles, mixed pairs, or team portions of that particular event? In any case, I nominate Gene Simmons, Hugh Hefner, and Pam Anderson for the judging panel. It's a pity Wilt Chamberlain's gone, he would have been a real asset. (Ha ha ha! Asset.)

Posted by: Bawlmer knows the joke's been made before. | August 13, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Diddy will face stiff competition in the team event from Clara Bow...

Posted by: byoolin bob costas-gavras | August 13, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Well, I know if George showed up at my office as an advisor he'd be one hell of a distraction. There would be a little puddle of goo sitting in front of my computer not getting any work done.

Posted by: jes | August 13, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Byoolin said "stiff competition".

hahahahahaha

Posted by: Curamudgeon | August 13, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

It's a pity Wilt Chamberlain's gone, he would have been a real asset. (Ha ha ha! Asset.)

Posted by: Bawlmer knows the joke's been made before. | August 13, 2008 11:42 AM

Hell if Wilt were still around Puffy Puff Diddy Daddy would never made it out of the qualifying rounds.

Posted by: jes | August 13, 2008 11:51 AM | Report abuse

"byoolin bob costas-gavras" -- oh, oh the PAIN! :)

Posted by: td bows to His Royal Pun-niness | August 13, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

omigosh omigosh omigosh.

The comments page for the main post is no longer opening for me. Is anyone else having this problem?

It's like the world knows just how bored I am and is seeking a terrible vengeance...

Posted by: Sully | August 13, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Wednesday List (not up to Friday List standards)

Stars We REALLY Don't Want to See on Dancing With the Stars

(starting off with. . .)

William Shatner
Brad Garrett
Joe Theisman (sp?)
Joan Rivers
Connie Chung
Tori Spelling
Gene Simmons
anyone from The Hills

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

What does Clooney mean when he says John McCain "did my TV show"?

Posted by: WDC | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Stars We REALLY Don't Want to See on Dancing With the Stars

Wayne Newton

(oh, wait, never mind)

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

jaybub,
no apologies needed for the extra month... i once wished i had an extra month. it was 1986....

inquiring minds would also like to know if diddy's event will be long-distance or a sprint...

Posted by: b | August 13, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Wow, Brit actually said a responsible, parenting thing. Maybe she is finally starting to get it.

To the producers suing Paris: If you were counting on Paris (who probably did not star) to promote your movie, you were already in big trouble. Don't make it worse by publicly displaying how pathetic you are.

Posted by: ep | August 13, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

What does Clooney mean when he says John McCain "did my TV show"?

Posted by: WDC | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM
__________________________________________

I don't know, but I wouldn't go picking up the remote at his mansion any time soon.

Posted by: M Street | August 13, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

Stars We REALLY Don't Want to See on Dancing With the Stars

Larry King
Donald Trump
Barbara Walters
Star Jones
Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Posted by: petal | August 13, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Sully, I've been having problems with WaPo in general for the past couple of weeks. Most of the time the browser gets hung up waiting for js.revsci.net, an ad-targeting company that has not learned to scale itself up (and IMO is hurting its customers by preventing their pages from loading).

Sorry, ranting...

Posted by: ADHD | August 13, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Seriously, 'Mudge. Billy Ray, Tucker Carlson, and cuckoo Heather Mills would def be on that list also! And Adam Carolla? They do get some winners.

(Sorry--I'm stopping to spellcheck the names.)

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

What does Clooney mean when he says John McCain "did my TV show"?

Posted by: WDC | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM

----------------------------------------
Perhaps he's talking about "K Street," (HBO) which he and Steven Soderburgh filmed here in D.C.

Posted by: clw | August 13, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Unless Barbara was dancing WITH Star. I'd pay cash money to watch that.

Posted by: jaybbub | August 13, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

OMG!

Larry King!

Hahaha

Posted by: alex has suffered a career-ending injury! | August 13, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

When alex initially posted the list of "Stars We REALLY Don't Want to See on Dancing With the Stars," I was going to suggest that we could change "Dancing" to "Drowning" and remove "Don't."

After petal's post, I am convinced that we need to pitch the idea to a network.

Posted by: byoolin suggests a twist in which all the competitors go under and stay there. | August 13, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Uh-oh. Sasquatch, please check in so we know you are okay.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402882,00.html

Posted by: ep | August 13, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Guess we can't see John McCain on DWTS until after the election....

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 13, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

But byoolin, didn't we already do the drowning thing ("This Week on: Swimming with Natalie Wood" etc.)?

DWTS (get over me, using the tabloid abbreviation) is about the age to do "theme seasons," and the idea of both Adam West and William Shatner brings to mind DWTS: Ham Actors. It could go on for years.

* DWTS: Talk Show (Barbara Walters, Star Jones, Larry King)
* DWTS: The cast of "Lost" (Liz and Jen would be all over this, I imagine)
* DWTS: Scientology (Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, Leah Remini, John Travolta)
* DWTS: Olympics (Michael Phelps, Katie Hoff, Ryan Lochte; bring back Apolo Ohno as a judge)

The question is: Do you think Tom Bergeron would be up for the idea?

(Side note: The comments pages have been loading terribly the past few days. It's bad enough that words sometimes have repeated to the next line in the past, but now you can't even see the comments sometimes.)

Posted by: td | August 13, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Regarding slow loading of the comment pages: I just turned off acceptance of third-party cookies in Firefox and now the pages load instantly.

Posted by: ADHD | August 13, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

how about a disney themed DWTS

LiLo
britney
Miley
paris
rihanna
jonas bros
zach/cody

Posted by: dwts | August 13, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse


how about a disney themed DWTS

...

Posted by: dwts | August 13, 2008 1:24 PM

Dopey
Sneezy
Doc
etc...

Posted by: ADHD can't remember seven things | August 13, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

"Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer already over?."

Oh, if wishing made it so ...

Diddy. Shut. UP.

Posted by: Californian | August 13, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Dopey
Sneezy
Bashful
Doc
Happy
Sleepy
Grumpy

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, without the use of the Wikipedia | August 13, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

I use Firefox with the NoScript addon and have had no problems with loading times. (I also don't have to look at banner ads. Ahhh...)

jes, surely Wilt wouldn't have been eligible for that particular event? He couldn't have been counted as an amateur.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 13, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

I spoke too soon...just had a page fail to load. Reloading it fixed the problem, however.

Posted by: Bawlmer again | August 13, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

td, I respectfully submit that if highly-paid tv executives can - with a straight face, no less - pitch and sell remakes of things like Streets of San Francisco, Knight Rider and even Hawaii Five-O, then we mere Celebritologists should be able to drown as many stars as we deem appropriate.

(If only we could get people to watch a show in which highly-paid tv executives were drowned, then we'd be onto something.)

And I am so *not* kidding about the 5-0: http://tinyurl.com/5dtv2m

Posted by: Book 'em, byoolin. | August 13, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

I spoke too soon...just had a page fail to load. Reloading it fixed the problem, however.

Posted by: Bawlmer again | August 13, 2008 1:43 PM

we dont need to know about your ineptness with a computer. thanks.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

I've done all those things you tech heads advise and I'm having the darnedest time loading up the site.

Why do all software upgrades bring misery? This is like the New Coke or Diet Crystal Pepsi of software upgrades.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

"BBC: Rocky Horror movie to be remade"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7558091.stm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Also, is it me, or are the trolls running low on material?

Posted by: Bawlmer can't find the "any" key! | August 13, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

jes, surely Wilt wouldn't have been eligible for that particular event? He couldn't have been counted as an amateur.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 13, 2008 1:42 PM

But we allow professional basketball players now.

Posted by: jes | August 13, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, I second that Noooooooooooooo and would like to add a @*%& for emphasis.

The first one actually died at the box office. It just became a cult hit for some reason when people decided to make it interactive. A remake would lack that. So, it would be a pathetic remake of a bad movie. Grindhouse anyone?

Posted by: ep | August 13, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Hey! Isn't Troll the ancient Yuletide carol?

Posted by: Sasquatch sings fa-la-la-la-lah | August 13, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer -

hold down the CONTROL key and click the refresh icon (or whatever).

I find that I have to do this alot both on my iMac at home at the PC here in the office.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

"And I am so *not* kidding about the 5-0: http://tinyurl.com/5dtv2m" --Book 'em, byoolin

Well, you have me there about the TV executives, byoolin.

A new "Hawaii 5-0"? Unconscionable! Every actor in Hollywood is probably growing a set of muttonchops right now in anticipation.

Just stay away from "Mannix." That's all I ask.

Posted by: td also liked jack lord in Williamsburg - The Story of a Patriot | August 13, 2008 2:05 PM | Report abuse

¿Quien es mas macho?

David Janssen, Lloyd Bridges o Jack Lord?

Posted by: byoolin knows that Jack Lord es un poco mas macho que Lloyd Bridges! | August 13, 2008 2:22 PM | Report abuse

yeah, but, Lloyd Bridges could do a great no-shirt scene.

Posted by: Curmudgeon adds in the 10-points for a manly chest | August 13, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer -

hold down the CONTROL key and click the refresh icon (or whatever).

I find that I have to do this alot both on my iMac at home at the PC here in the office.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 2:04 PM


Sheesh, isnt there a WaPo tech blog you guys can post these things to instead of clogging up the Celeb-blog?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

"Uh-oh. Sasquatch, please check in so we know you are okay.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402882,00.html"

ep | August 13, 2008 12:59 PM

* * * *

"Hey! Isn't Troll the ancient Yuletide carol?"

Sasquatch sings fa-la-la-la-lah | August 13, 2008 2:00 PM

* * * *

Answers that question!

Posted by: no, troll is that sci-fi movie or was it tron? | August 13, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

No, td, just when you think they'll look for someone with that one lock of hair that strategically falls forward, the strong jaw, and sideburns--THAT'S when some idiot Hollywood casting director come up with some too-younq milquetoast (like Jake Gyllenhaal or Josh Hartnett) for the role. (He's still too young, but Joaquin Phoenix wouldn't be so bad--he's got that darker, more edgy vibe going.)

Can't imagine what they'd do with Mannix and the whole interracial Mike Connors/Gail Fischer thing. They'd probably cast Ryan Gosling and Rihanna.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

And for those of you for whom Drowning With The Stars is too highbrow, HBO is piloting a new show, says the Hollywood Reporter:

"The dark comedy pilot "Hung," directed by Alexander Payne, centers on Ray (Thomas Jane), a well-endowed struggling middle-age high school basketball coach who figures out a way to use his best asset.

"[Jane] Adams will play Tanya, an artsy single woman."

Posted by: byoolin wonders if there's a guest spot for Diddy... | August 13, 2008 2:33 PM | Report abuse

Well geez, anon at 2:28. They're not little performance monkeys, there only to make your heart fill with glee. Sometimes they need to speak bidness. And as you clearly know, post, read, reload is what we all do.

Posted by: Sully | August 13, 2008 2:33 PM | Report abuse

"Can't imagine what they'd do with Mannix and the whole interracial Mike Connors/Gail Fischer thing. They'd probably cast Ryan Gosling and Rihanna." --alex

This is it. I'm coming to join you, Elizabeth!

Posted by: td clutches his chest in horror | August 13, 2008 2:34 PM | Report abuse

What does Clooney mean when he says John McCain "did my TV show"?

Posted by: WDC | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM

John McCain has done an episode of 24 and he was Wedding Crashers, unless his appearance on K Street was uncredited, it is not on his IMDB page.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

I have to agree with Balwmer but maybe there's hope. There was talk of a Adventures in Babysitting remake that doesn't seem to have gotten off the ground.

We've created a bunch of good script ideas I really think Hollywood should be banging on the island door any moment now.

Posted by: petal | August 13, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

What does Clooney mean when he says John McCain "did my TV show"?

Posted by: WDC | August 13, 2008 12:27 PM

John McCain has done an episode of 24 and he was Wedding Crashers, unless his appearance on K Street was uncredited, it is not on his IMDB page.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 2:35 PM
====
McCain is not listed in the IMDB "K-Street" listing either.

Perhaps Clooney was drunk on lemoncello when he was talking to the reporter.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Well, at least it's not William Hung's biopic.

Posted by: alex thinks it could be worse (maybe) | August 13, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

"Well, at least it's not William Hung's biopic." If it were, I know a certain overlooked Chinese girl who's free. Can she play older and male?

Posted by: quick, before angelina jolie grabs the role | August 13, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Isn't William Hung's biopic called "Hung, like, Hoarse"?

Posted by: byoolin | August 13, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

He Bops.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Or boffs?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Not to beat a dead Hung, but the oddity I saw was a completely blank page that loaded. No text, no graphics, no nothin'. Again, refreshing fixed it in a jif- just thought I'd throw it out there for the Post techies, see if anyone else had similar problems.

Just re-read the Rocky Horror article and found that the remake is destined for cable. I'm honestly split as to whether that's good or bad. (If Dr Frank-N-Furter is played by Ryan Seacrest, we'll know it's the latter.)

Posted by: On second thought, Bawlmer would LOVE to see Simon Cowell as Riffraff. | August 13, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

"Can she play older and male?"

The older part's not a prob; they'll just change the birth date on her passport. The male part may take some work.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

You're not serious about Ryan Seacrest, right? He's got the dubious sexuality thing, but not the camp. He's more of a Brad. But not even that.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

I must have missed something--what Rocky Horror article?

Must say that is one of those films that it should be criminal to remake. No one can beat Tim Curry in that role. Isn't it still playing at midnight in art house theaters all over the place?

Posted by: hermespal | August 13, 2008 3:34 PM | Report abuse

Hey, over at OP, they are talkin' about training wheels for bicycles. So appropiate as that blog needs training wheels.

(no really good snarks today tho...)

Posted by: Blog Watcher | August 13, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

The Rocky Horror article was one of those Daily Mail links that we get sucked into reading.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1044427/Lets-time-warp--Rocky-Horror-Picture-remake-confirmed.html

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Hey, over at OP, they are talkin' about training wheels for bicycles. So appropiate as that blog needs training wheels.

(no really good snarks today tho...)

Posted by: Blog Watcher | August 13, 2008 3:36 PM

Did you read about the poster "Donna" who found her hubby sleeping with her brother?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

alex, you will note that I said it would be BAD were Mr Seacrest to play the Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania. Honestly, I have trouble thinking of anyone from the MTV crowd who could pull it off. (Would love to see Neil Patrick Harris in the role, I bet he'd go hog-wild with it.)

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 13, 2008 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Daniel Craig as Rocky.

Posted by: jsk | August 13, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Too right, Bawlmer. I guess I was too shocked about the idea of Seacrest and missed your point. But I like the idea of NPH. He'd definitely get the camp part right.

********

I'm still icked by Diddy. He and the tantric-o-riffic Sting both need to spend a week in a men's prison to get de-smugged. Somehow, when Russell Brand talks about his alleged sexual prowess, it's funny; when Diddy and Sting do the bragging, it's just repellent.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 4:06 PM | Report abuse

Breaking Rocky Horror News!

Tom Cruise just lost the part of Frank-n-Furter to Angelina Jolie!

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 13, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Then scratch DC as Rocky. I don't want him anywhere near Ange.

Posted by: jsk | August 13, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

"Breaking Rocky Horror News!

Tom Cruise just lost the part of Frank-n-Furter to Angelina Jolie!"
-----------------------------

While we're on the subject of Fran -N- Furters, here's more news from Geneva, home of the Attack of the Inflatable Dog Turd:

Wurst' fears allayed as Swiss sausage saved
AFP Aug 10, 2008

GENEVA - Swiss carnivores can breathe a sigh of relief after producers told Swiss media Sunday that the country's national sausge -- the cervelat -- has been "saved."

The cervelat had been under threat after a ban was slapped on Brazilian cows -- whose intestines are a vital ingredient in the sausage's skin -- over mad cow disease concerns in 2006. But representatives of the meat industry said its future was now assured thanks to imports from Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.

"We don't need to talk about a cervelat crisis anymore," said Kurt Zenger, head of sausage production at the Bell food business.

"These new Latin American markets have recently increased their deliveries of intestines. We are able to guarantee 100 percent of our cervelat production," he told weekly newspaper Le Matin Dimanche.

Balz Horber of the Swiss professional meat union told the paper that "there is no danger of the cervelat becoming a luxury item. We can say that it's saved."

In January, a multi-disciplinary taskforce of veterinarians, meat producers, and bureaucrats was created to save the cervelat.

Parliamentarian Rolf Buettiker at the time described the sausage as representing "down-to-earth simplicity, the romanticism of the campfire, and national pride."


Posted by: Sasquatch salutes Snarky | August 13, 2008 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Rolf Buettiker?

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Or Büttiker?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

Balz Horber? BALZ???

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Watch your 'Daughters'! John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston split
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/08/13/2008-08-13_watch_your_daughters_john_mayer_jennifer.html

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 4:34 PM | Report abuse

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the riiiiiiight
Put your hands on your hips (Your OWN hips)
And bring your knees in tiiiiight
Well it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insaaaane
Let's do the Time Warp again...

Now I will never get this song out of my head.

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 13, 2008 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Shoulda been Balz Buettiker.

(Sorry. It's just been one of *those* days.)

And, thanx sunnydaze.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

Well I was walkin down the street
Just a havin a think
When a snake of guy
gave me an evil wink
It shooka me up
It took me by surprise
He had a pick up truck
And the Devil's eyes
He stared at me
And I felt a change
Time meant nothin
Never would again

OK, I think it's out of my system now...

Posted by: sunnydaze channels Columbia | August 13, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

yum.

The Swiss national weenie is baaack.

I think I'll serve me up a large portion of Uraguyan intestines for supper this eve.

'smack'

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 13, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

While we're on the subject of Fran -N- Furters, here's more news from Geneva, home of the Attack of the Inflatable Dog Turd:

Wurst' fears allayed as Swiss sausage saved
AFP Aug 10, 2008

GENEVA - Swiss carnivores can breathe a sigh of relief after producers told Swiss media Sunday that the country's national sausge -- the cervelat -- has been "saved."

The cervelat had been under threat after a ban was slapped on Brazilian cows -- whose intestines are a vital ingredient in the sausage's skin -- over mad cow disease concerns in 2006. But representatives of the meat industry said its future was now assured thanks to imports from Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay.

"We don't need to talk about a cervelat crisis anymore," said Kurt Zenger, head of sausage production at the Bell food business.

"These new Latin American markets have recently increased their deliveries of intestines. We are able to guarantee 100 percent of our cervelat production," he told weekly newspaper Le Matin Dimanche.

Balz Horber of the Swiss professional meat union told the paper that "there is no danger of the cervelat becoming a luxury item. We can say that it's saved."

In January, a multi-disciplinary taskforce of veterinarians, meat producers, and bureaucrats was created to save the cervelat.

Parliamentarian Rolf Buettiker at the time described the sausage as representing "down-to-earth simplicity, the romanticism of the campfire, and national pride."

Posted by: Sasquatch salutes Snarky | August 13, 2008 4:26 PM

Is this REALLY celeb related? i dont think so. please everyone, including us regular commentators, need to keep it to the topic at hand - celebrities and snarking. otherwise the blog gets into a mess (i.e. the OP blog) where everything goes.

Posted by: anonymous for now | August 13, 2008 4:40 PM | Report abuse

No prob, sunnydaze. I can bump that song from your head. Follow me:

Throw out your hands
Stick out your tush
Hands on your hips
Give 'em a push
You'll be surprised
You're doing the French Mistake
Voila!

Posted by: Sasquatch does Dom DeLuise | August 13, 2008 4:42 PM | Report abuse

In re: a remake of RHPS (although it really should be criminal to even contemplate such a thing) - may I suggest the following:
Ewen McGregor as Dr. Frank-N-Furter
Orlando Bloom as Brad
Julia Stiles as Janet
Matt Damon as Rocky
John Hannah as Riff Raff
Cate Blanchett as Magenta
Kate Winslet as Columbia
John Mayer as Eddie
Angelina Jolie as The Lips

Posted by: BxNY, who once played Columbia in the floor show | August 13, 2008 5:05 PM | Report abuse

Is this REALLY celeb related? i dont think so. please everyone, including us regular commentators, need to keep it to the topic at hand - celebrities and snarking. otherwise the blog gets into a mess (i.e. the OP blog) where everything goes.


Posted by: anonymous for now | August 13, 2008 4:40 PM

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Anything "turd" or "turd-related" is always a welcome diversion from the normal vapidness of celebrities. Also "farts". Pretty much anything having to do with bodily functions.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 13, 2008 5:15 PM | Report abuse

Fabian to be feted
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Associated Press

Singing idol and actor Fabian Forte will receive the 2008 Harvey Award on Oct. 24 from the James M. Stewart Museum Foundation. The museum is in Indiana, Pa., Stewart's hometown.

Fabian, 65, was a pop singing star who appeared in more than 30 films, including two with Stewart, "Dear Bridgette" and "Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation."

Past Harvey winners include June Allyson, Janet Leigh, Shirley Jones, Ernest Borgnine and impressionist Rich Little. The foundation's award is named for the 1950 film in which Stewart befriends an invisible rabbit.

Posted by: Nosy Parker wonders what the connection is that these folks were chosen | August 13, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

George Clooney also clooneyed-out on dad Nick's Congressional campaign a few years ago, claiming concern that the district's constituents might vote against his father because they resented Hollywood intrusion if he (George) were perceived to be too involved. Nick lost anyway.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 13, 2008 5:19 PM | Report abuse

Squatch, that's such great news. I was in Switzerland during the height of the cervelat crisis and I can only tell you that it was hard to enjoy a cool brewski without a nice steaming cervelat.

But you see, 4:40 PM wants this to be celebrity related, which is not a problem for us professional celebritologists. Mr or Ms 4:40, I present to you THE CELEBRITY CONNECTION TO CERVELAT:

"Clooney has offered to support Obama, even if that means keeping at arm's length from the candidate out of concern that his celebrity would distract from the campaign. He is, however, hosting a fund-raiser for Obama next month in Switzerland."

Clearly, not even Clooney could have a proper Swiss fundraiser without Cervelat. So those Uruguayan bulls have saved the day.


Posted by: MoCoSnarky, overjoyed | August 13, 2008 5:19 PM | Report abuse

I was so dejected to read that Mei Xiang, the National Zoo female panda, was not pregnant after all.

It's a shame that panda sperm isn't like human sperm, which leads me to another Friday List suggestion:

(Clearly, I'm a cervelat on a roll...)

If human men could impregnate pandas who would be the ones most likely to be successful?

K Fed and John Edwards sprang quickly to mind, but I'm sure you could come up with others.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky, dismayed, but hopeful! | August 13, 2008 5:23 PM | Report abuse

Great choices, BxNY!

I would never, ever have thought of John Hannah as Riff Raff, but I do think he works.

I dunno about Cate for Magenta? Maybe I'm just not enough of a Cate fan. Or maybe I think of her as too vanilla. I guess Cyndi Lauper is too old and odd?

Too bad Steven Tyler's also too old for the remake. But he could still give Angie a run for the lips. (So could Liv, if it came to that.)

I really need to re-watch this. But it just isn't the same on DVD, is it? The best really is a midnight showing or an outdoor screening.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 5:26 PM | Report abuse

If human men could impregnate pandas who would be the ones most likely to be successful?

*****

Don't forget Eddie Murphy!

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Milwaukee's Discovery World honors Les Paul
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Associated Press

MILWAUKEE -- Guitar legend and innovator Les Paul is credited with developing revolutionary engineering techniques like close miking, echo delay and multitracking.

Some of those innovations are used in audio and video recording studios in modern forms all over the world.

So it seems only fitting that Discovery World at Pier Wisconsin -- with its hands-on exhibits featuring technological advances -- would organize an exhibit honoring the 93-year-old who hails from the area.

"Les Paul's House of Sound" runs through Jan. 31. Discovery World President Joel Brennan described Paul, who was born in Waukesha, Wis., as an explorer.

The exhibit, which museum officials expect to have intergenerational appeal, will concentrate on Paul's contribution to music technology, but also will combine art and history.

Guitar beginners also will be able to take a virtual lesson with Paul and record the experience in a green room. More advanced players can record a virtual jam session with Paul. They can then bring home a DVD of the performances.

Born Lester William Polfuss in 1915 to a German immigrant family, Paul built his first crystal radio at age 9, about the time he first picked up a guitar. In his early teens, he left home to travel with a country band.

Paul built one of the first prototypes for the solid-body electric guitar in 1941, but his work was rejected numerous times. Gibson finally began mass-producing a guitar based on his design in 1952, and the electric guitar went on to become the lead instrument in rock 'n' roll.

Over the past four decades, he's won numerous awards, including a Grammy with Chet Atkins for best country instrumental performance. He's been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and won a lifetime achievement award at the Emmys. In 2006, he won Grammys for best pop instrumental and best rock instrumental.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland opened a permanent Paul exhibit in 2004.

Paul still performs twice every Monday night with his trio at the Iridium Jazz Club in New York City.

Posted by: Nosy Parker apologizes that this is so long, but dang, Les Paul is worth it | August 13, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

If human men could impregnate pandas who would be the ones most likely to be successful?


Any NBA player and, of course, John Edwards!

Posted by: Elias Howe talks about something other than his inventions! | August 13, 2008 5:33 PM | Report abuse

If human men could impregnate pandas who would be the ones most likely to be successful?

******

And George Foreman. But then they'd have to name the baby panda George Foreman, too.

Casey Aldridge.

Billy Crudup. And then he'd leave before the birth for another panda.

Posted by: alex | August 13, 2008 6:23 PM | Report abuse

Jack Bauer, dammit!

Posted by: Panda Provider | August 13, 2008 6:25 PM | Report abuse

Donald Trump

Posted by: jsk | August 13, 2008 6:29 PM | Report abuse

Jim Bob Duggar.

Posted by: Former OB poster | August 13, 2008 8:02 PM | Report abuse

"If human men could impregnate pandas who would be the ones most likely to be successful?" - Posted by: MoCoSnarky, dismayed, but hopeful! | August 13, 2008 5:23 PM

*****

MoCo, why must you be so darned *practical*? Why must it be all about impregnation? What about the sheer joy of the physical act itself?

Posted by: byoolin, Past President of NAMPLA, is just sayin'. | August 14, 2008 7:36 AM | Report abuse

NAMPLA

As usual, the guys get all the fun play groups.

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

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