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Posted at 7:41 AM ET, 08/14/2008

Morning Mix: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer Reportedly Split

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Tom Cruise's production partner leaving United Artists... Katie Holmes designed her own dress for "Tropic Thunder" premiere... No "nagging, annoying" girlfriends for Jonas Brothers... Hugh Hefner pulls the plug on Playboy parties... Jennifer Lopez bringing "Maid in Manhattan" to the small screen... Rachel Hunter engaged to hockey player... Construction worker sues Sharon Stone for injury on her property.

Crime Watch: Alleged John Cusack stalker will stand trial.

Rumor Mill: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer split, reports People... Madonna not trying to adopt girl from Malawi, says rep... Ali Lohan suddenly curvy, says Us Weekly; big sis Lindsay is annoyed... Pam Anderson dating a member of the Abu Dhabi royal family; meanwhile ex Tommy Lee seeing "Rock of Love" alumna Daisy De La Hoya... Jamie Lynn Spears's baby daddy stepped out on her during pregnancy... Billy Bob Thornton to star as "Freddy Krueger" in new "Nightmare on Elm Street."

Say What?
"Listen, I was an ordinary fella, y'know... but in those days you only paid two dollars." -- Ernest Borgnine fondly recalls the cheap brothels of yesteryear.

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's 60-minute snarkfest, Celebritology Live. No, seriously, no snarking. We'll instead use our combined smarts for predicting John Mayer's next girlfriend.

---

It's back! Start reading now so you'll be caught up and ready to drop some serious Narnian knowledge on Friday, Sept. 5, when we discuss the first selection in the resurrected "Lost" Book Club: C.S. Lewis's "Prince Caspian."

By Liz Kelly  | August 14, 2008; 7:41 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Photo Redux: Brit's Big Year

Comments

"Ernest Borgnine fondly recalls cheap the brothels of yesteryear."
**********
???. Can't even see how that could be a typo.

(actually, I was just looking for an excuse to be the first poster...pickings are kind of slim today, except I'm sure Byoolin will find something to work with on the Pam Anderson thing)

Posted by: Grammar Police Trainee | August 14, 2008 8:43 AM | Report abuse

...or the Hugh Hefner pulling the plug thing. Now that screams for some creativity.

Posted by: Grammar Police Trainee | August 14, 2008 8:45 AM | Report abuse

Kat(i)ebot should leave the dress designing to those with some seamstress talent. The skirt looks funny, like it's not sewn quite evenly, and the top appears to be made of vinyl (ew) and it's not even on each side - maybe it's just the angle? Anyway, not as bad as Venus Williams' stuff, but not as good a Vera Wang either.

For once, and once only, I agree with Lilo. It's creepy for the media to be talking about a 14 year old girl's boobs. 14 year old girls are still developing - leave it at that.

Billy Bob Thornton will made a *great* Freddy Krueger - he's already pretty scary. Now if they could just get Johnny Depp back, that would be a must see movie.

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 14, 2008 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Maybe the Jonas Brothers should talk to Ernest Borgnine and see if he can hook them up.

Hugh Hefner pulls the plug on Playboy parties. I guess he just couldn't get up for them anymore. Our Unabashed Dictionary calls that "limping to the finish line."


That construction worker's lawsuit against Sharon Stone says he was "rendered sick, sore, lame, disabled and disordered, both internally and externally, and suffered, among other things, numerous internal injuries, severe fright, shock, pain, discomfort and anxiety." I would have thought that a good H'wood lawyer would have thrown in "bewitched, bothered and bewildered" pro bono.


Sorry, Jennifer Aniston, but the Jonas Bros. specified no nagging or annoying girlfriends.


Ali Lohan dreads Grandma Helen and Grandpa Fred from "16 Candles" coming to visit:
GRANDMA HELEN: Let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies!
GRANDPA FRED: I better get my magnifying glass. [laughs]
GRANDMA HELEN: Oh, and they are so PERKY.


Pam Anderson still thinks that "Abu Dhabi" is just Scooby-Doo-speak for whatever the real name of the place is.


That Borgnine quote is mixed up in my head with that paperboy in "Better Off Dead". I can see him on his bicycle now, chasing down Borgnine, menacing him: "TWO DOLLARS!"

Posted by: byoolin | August 14, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

The top of Katie's dress looks like it was made with electrical tape.

Posted by: Omaha | August 14, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Newly released files show Julia Child was a spy
By BRETT J. BLACKLEDGE and RANDY HERSCHAFT,
Associated Press Writers

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Before Julia Child became known to the world as a leading chef, she admitted at least one failing when applying for a job as a spy: impulsiveness. Details about Child's background as a government agent come into the public spotlight Thursday with the National Archives' release of more than 35,000 top-secret personnel files of World War II-era spies. The CIA held this information for decades...

The OSS files offer details about other agents, including Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg, major league catcher Moe Berg, historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr. and film actor Sterling Hayden.

Other notables identified in the files include John Hemingway, son of author Ernest Hemingway; Kermit Roosevelt, son of President Theodore Roosevelt; and Miles Copeland, father of Stewart Copeland, drummer for the band The Police.

Some of those on the list have been identified previously as having worked for the OSS, but their personnel records never have been available before. Those records would show why they were hired, jobs they were assigned to and perhaps even missions they pursued while working for the agency...

Posted by: the spies in our midst | August 14, 2008 9:08 AM | Report abuse

Sterling Hayden's no surprise. You think he just memorized those lines in "Strangelove"?

RIPPER: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.

MANDRAKE: Lord, Jack.

RIPPER: You know when fluoridation first began?

MANDRAKE: I - no, no. I don't, Jack.

RIPPER: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

MANDRAKE: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first - become - well, develop this theory?

RIPPER: Well, I, uh, I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

MANDRAKE: Hmm.

RIPPER: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I - I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women - women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I do deny them my essence.

Posted by: byoolin | August 14, 2008 9:18 AM | Report abuse

With all that black and blue, Katie looks like one big honkin' bruise

Posted by: ncmojo | August 14, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

So, Katie designed he own dress, did she.

What a clever boots is our Katie.

Don't give up your day job, whatever it is, dear.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 9:20 AM | Report abuse

can we keep the blog celeb-centric today please? thanks. i dont want to have to read a bunch of dumb things like those in yesterday's comments. thanks in advance.

Posted by: anonymous for now | August 14, 2008 9:21 AM | Report abuse

can we keep the blog celeb-centric today please? thanks. i dont want to have to read a bunch of dumb things like those in yesterday's comments. thanks in advance.

Posted by: anonymous for now | August 14, 2008 9:21 AM

NO!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 9:24 AM | Report abuse

anonymous for now @ 9:21, meet Kettle.

Also, if you're a woman, the Jonas Bros. thank you for your interest, but say "no thanks."

Posted by: byoolin does his bit to mention celebs in his posts. | August 14, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

Perhaps they ought to sign Ernest Borgnine for "Dancing With the Stars".

I'd pay two bucks for that.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

Cue the "Jonas Brother are gheih" rumors in 3..2..1..


Amazing what a push up bra can do.

Posted by: EricS | August 14, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

I think that if Katie were to actually look, she would be able to find that outfit anywhere. I think they sell something similar at Hot Topic.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | August 14, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Today, could people not post their complaints? I'm hear to read people's best snark and really don't want to hear other people whine. I mean, I work so hard and want to come here and enjoy myself but you whiners keep interrupting and ruin everything!!

Posted by: Sully wonders if anon for now can see her point. Probably not. | August 14, 2008 9:29 AM | Report abuse

I just want to say that I *still* have Rocky Horror songs drifting through my head. I guess I will have to get out the old participation tapes (that would be cassette, not VCR) and listen to them while I mow the lawn this weekend.

"When Eddie said he didn't love his Teddy,
You knew he was a no good kid..."

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 14, 2008 9:30 AM | Report abuse

It's funny that Maniston have reportedly broken up. I had completely forgotten that they were even an item until I saw an old People article at my allergist's office.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | August 14, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Please don't feed the trolls, if we ignore them they will go away.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

I always suspected Julia of hiding something in the chicken!

"And now we'll turn this delicious eclair into an explosive device. Remember to knead the C4 into the butter with an even pushing motion."

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 14, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Yes and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the nuances in the 8:36 post.

Posted by: They're so dumb | August 14, 2008 9:01 AM

The nuance that the original poster had never read the NYT? (maybe even heard of the NYT?)

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 9:07 AM


Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Even Ernest Borgnine is complaining about inflation these days.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 9:38 AM | Report abuse

So I'm no wiz with the sewing machine. I mean, I actually came to work earlier this week with my hem STAPLED rather than take any more practical steps to fix it (don't worry, I colored the staples black with a sharpie). But I think I could design a better dress than Katie Holmes. That is the most unflattering dress length I've seen in a while. Not to mention the beach chair bodice that is SO Project Runway four seasons ago.

Posted by: Sully, however, does like the color. | August 14, 2008 9:45 AM | Report abuse

Heck, Erny, they were $5 back in 1971. And no meal included!

Posted by: Viet Nam Vet | August 14, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

Even Ernest Borgnine is complaining about inflation these days.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 9:38 AM

--------------------------------------
Dorkus gets my early morning vote for comment of the day!

Posted by: clw | August 14, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Oh Sully! I have done that too. And paperclips for lost buttons. And tape. I have also colored in scuff marks on black shoes with a sharpie. Nothing like office supply sewing!

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 14, 2008 9:48 AM | Report abuse

The article said that Hef sold tickets to a party in an attempt to raise some "mullah". What would Hugh Hefner want with a zombie muslim holy man?

Posted by: WDC | August 14, 2008 9:49 AM | Report abuse

And no meal included!

Posted by: Viet Nam Vet | August 14, 2008 9:46 AM

_____

Um, what?

Posted by: sunnydaze has no frame of reference | August 14, 2008 9:49 AM | Report abuse

Oh, sunnydaze. Great minds. I've safety pinned shirts closed from the inside when I've lost a very important button (this is very difficult to accomplish, for those of you who haven't tried). Then it's extremely unfortunate when the safety pin pops and you get stabbed right in the chest...

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Abu Dhabi doesn't teach about STDs in sex ed, huh?

Posted by: M Street | August 14, 2008 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Oh, sunnydaze. Great minds. I've safety pinned shirts closed from the inside when I've lost a very important button (this is very difficult to accomplish, for those of you who haven't tried). Then it's extremely unfortunate when the safety pin pops and you get stabbed right in the chest...

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 9:50 AM

-------------------------------------------
Let us not forget the magic that is double-sided tape!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 9:52 AM | Report abuse

What would Hugh Hefner want with a zombie muslim holy man?

Posted by: WDC | August 14, 2008 9:49 AM

****

Maybe he's trying to get him a part in BillyBobElmStreet...

Posted by: byoolin likes the phrase "zombie muslim holy man." | August 14, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Jennifer Anniston wanted to have some fun and John Mayer couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. I would dump his a@# too.

I know they are young but the Jonas Brothers should be glad to get girlfriends because I don’t see the appeal.

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 14, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Put together without pretense, false piety or self-congratulation, [Kathy] Griffin's visit to Walter Reed is a captivating little slice of television, and of life. "They need a laugh," Griffin said of the soldiers before embarking for the hospital, and the felicitous and salutary result is Mission Accomplished -- this time for real.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List: The season finale (one hour) airs tonight at 10 on Bravo.

Posted by: Tom Shales | August 14, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Ernie B. was talking about brothels back in 42-45 costing $2. They cost $5 in '71.

And yes they are still on Hotel Street in Honolulu!

Posted by: Viet Nam Vet | August 14, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Please don't feed the trolls, if we ignore them they will go away.

Posted by: You feed the trolls by saying don't feed them! | August 14, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

I'm hear to read people's best snark and really don't want to hear other people whine.

Posted by: Sully wonders if anon for now can see her point. Probably not. | August 14, 2008 9:29 AM

you're "hear" to read? please review your postings for spelling and grammar before hitting "submit." thanks.

Posted by: grammar police | August 14, 2008 10:05 AM | Report abuse

I love the smell of trolls in the morning...Smells like snark!

Posted by: Lt.Col. Bill Kilgore | August 14, 2008 10:06 AM | Report abuse

I think Dina told Ali to stuff her shirt knowing it would drive the paps crazy and give her even more unwarrented publicity.

Posted by: Cleveland Brown | August 14, 2008 10:06 AM | Report abuse

The image of Ernie Borgnine and a two-dollar hooker is now burned into my mind. Please, make it stop!

Posted by: Nick | August 14, 2008 10:06 AM | Report abuse

Sure Ernest Borgnine only paid two bucks, poor Tim Conway had to pay $3 which I believe was half his monthly Salary on McHale's Navy.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 10:08 AM | Report abuse

I really don't know why I capitalized salary...

Posted by: Dorkus heading for the coffee machine | August 14, 2008 10:09 AM | Report abuse

I know where you live, Grammar Police.

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

I find it very easy to believe that Katie designed her dress.
It also looked as though she sewed the thing on the home ec class sewing machine.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus, maybe you capitalized Salary because you are Trying 2 Ignite a BKD!!!!

Posted by: M Street | August 14, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

I thought we had exiled Grammar Police from our Lizardland the other day (I seem to recall something about glass houses and stones). Hmmm, must build better mousetrap...

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

After seeing what Katie's done with her jeans that dress is not surprising.

Oh joy, "Maid in Manhattan" is coming to the small screen. Just when I thought there was nothing good on tv.

Posted by: petal | August 14, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

I read Julia Child's biography 4 or 5 years ago and it was very open about her former life as a "spy" in the OSS. It's how she met her husband.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

I thought we had exiled Grammar Police from our Lizardland the other day (I seem to recall something about glass houses and stones). Hmmm, must build better mousetrap...

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:14 AM


HAHAHAHAH. HOOHHOHHOHOHO. that was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny.

idiot.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Of course Kat(i)e designed her own dress, she needed a new way to send the subliminal message 'plese somebody save me from this crazy sack of celinedion I married'.

Posted by: jes | August 14, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Byool, since you seem to be working hard for the snark today, here is some relaxation for you, courtesy of a link from the Ali Lohan page. Who knows, you might recognize Anonymous as one of the subjects of this spread.

http://www.usmagazine.com/Attack-of-the-Smooshed-Boobs-040808?slideshow_id=638&o=0

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Oh Sully! I have done that too. And paperclips for lost buttons. And tape. I have also colored in scuff marks on black shoes with a sharpie. Nothing like office supply sewing!

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 14, 2008 9:48 AM

Yeah, I used to use Sharpie on scuff marks, too. That's when I realized I needed new shoes...

I once ripped a silk skirt in the roller part of my office chair. I didn't have a sewing kit so I taped it using clear tape. After that, I got a little traveling sewing kit and kept it in my desk (never had to use it again, of course).

Posted by: Sappho | August 14, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

What's most scary about the Kat(i)e story is the link to her "casual chic" gallery that has like 10 different days she wore those pegleg jeans, and the website praises her for starting such fashionable new trend. Gak.

Posted by: Ra the Funktress | August 14, 2008 10:40 AM | Report abuse

With regard to Hef's Playboy Mansion parties, I think that the writer of Hollyscoop needs to go to the dictionary to learn the difference between "pulling the plug and "pulling the pud."

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

Does the "five second rule" have anything to do with sex? Something about not getting pregnant?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:11 AM

Only if you don't have it wrapped up!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:41 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:46 AM | Report abuse

And while we're discussing the meaning of terms, are the Grammar Police the dyslexic officers who keep arresting Kelsey for DWI?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Oh my -- the Borgnine item is fixed. Apologies for the up-messed syntax.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | August 14, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

I think we have enough votes now to rule staplers a sartorially acceptable form of hemming. Woot!


My vote for John Mayer's next SO is one of the Jonas Brothers. Probably whichever one is oldest, because aren't some of them minors? Even snark has its standards.

Future headlines featuring "Hugh Hefner" and "pulling the plug" won't be talking about parties.

Posted by: epony | August 14, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

I confess myself puzzled by the seemingly increasing numbers of people who are so off-put by the chit chat that goes on here on the comments every day. I don't post often, but I read every day, because I enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't read it. If you find the posters and commentary to be so idiotic, cliquish, inappropriate (remember, Byoolin, the Lindbergh baby died), racist, or whatever other accusations have been tossed around, why not just find another blog? Why keep reading? No one's forcing you to stick around and post your own inane (and universally anonymous) rantings. To paraphrase the bumper sticker on the back of my grandfather's camper in 1976, Celebritology: Love It Or Leave It.

Posted by: Wikijen | August 14, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

JLo is bringing her role in "Maid of Manhattan" to the small screen? My, my, the things some celebs will try to make their butts look smaller.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Billy Bob Thornton IS Freddy Kruger. Where's the acting stretch there. Or maybe he is Ernie Borgnine?

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 14, 2008 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Liz, what had to be fixed in the Ernest Borgnine summary? Did someone have a problem with Borgnine fondling the hookers?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Love It Or Leave It.

Posted by: Wikijen | August 14, 2008 10:48 AM
_____________

Word.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 10:53 AM | Report abuse

When Rachel Hunter and hockey player Jarret Stoll knock boots, do they puck each other?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Nom but they probably do get 5 minutes for roughing.

Posted by: EricS | August 14, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

In the link about the end of parties at the Playboy Mansion, the writer speculates that they sold tickets to the upcoming Midsummer Night's Dream Party to "raise some mullah."

I just had to laugh. A mullah at a Playboy Mansion party is about as incongruous as it gets.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

From the story on the construction worker suing Sharon Stone:

The actress was sued for negligence Wednesday by a worker who claims he fell over a concealed precipice on the Basic Instinct star's Los Angeles property two years ago and suffered "severe and permanent injuries." (View the lawsuit.)


I've never seen the word "precipice" used as a synonym for hoo-hah. If we view Sharon Stone's lawusit, will she uncross her legs so we can determine whether she's gone commando?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

oops. sorry WDC at 10:49. I didn't see your comment. my bad.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

er...WDC at 9:49.
need coffee...

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

After continually reading all the "witty" but totally irrelevant comments by some regulars, I get the feeling that these people think the chat is being monitored by Hollywood talent scouts and this is their big chance to get a screenplay deal or reality show. Ms. Liz needs to get things back on topic.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 11:04 AM | Report abuse

I think that Sharon Stone is getting to be a bit of a whack job these days, but I'm thinking this construction worker is more of one. Because I'm curious how you have a "concealed precipice".

By definition, a precipice is a steep and sudden drop off. Sure, there may have been ground cover to keep erosion to a minimum, but I don't know of too many ground cover plants that actually make a steep hill look like level ground....

Posted by: Chasmosaur | August 14, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

How did you know, anon@11:04?? I thought I was being so sneaky, too.

Posted by: Hollywood talent scout | August 14, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

Gee, Ernie, I just wish I could have been so honest! You know, more than 99%!

Posted by: John Edwards | August 14, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

Anonymous 11:04: Quit being such a buzzkill. Who peed in your coffee this morning?

Posted by: beaker | August 14, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I saw a magazine cover at the airport newsstand this week which announced Jennifer Aniston's big plans for her wedding to John Mayer. Way to scare him off, Jen.

I accompanied my daughter to a Jonas Brothers concert the other day. My ears are still ringing from the screaming of thousands of tweener fans. Pretty much all of the girls who want to date the Jo-Bros are nagging and annoying. Those boys may need to lower their standards, or they'll be wearing those purity rings for a long, long time.

Posted by: new england | August 14, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

This Just In:

It is being reported that Tom Cruise is on the verge of getting fired yet again beacause Cruise and business partner, Paula Wagner, don't know what they are doing.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

Anonymous@11:04 has an excellent point. Be less funny, people!

Why can't you all stick to serious, thought-provoking discussions of fluff?

Posted by: epony | August 14, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

In the new "Nightmare on Elm Street" movie starring Billy Bob, Freddy Krueger will torture his teenage victims by mumbling to them about french fried potaters, um-hm.

Posted by: Nick | August 14, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

In the new "Nightmare on Elm Street" movie starring Billy Bob, Freddy Krueger will torture his teenage victims by mumbling to them about french fried potaters, um-hm.

Posted by: Nick | August 14, 2008 11:26 AM

Faaaaaantastic. That made my day.

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Arrrgh!!! Netflix shipments are delayed. I had just started on the final season of The Wire. They can't expect me to actually read. That's just preposterous.

Posted by: ...to get off the subject at hand | August 14, 2008 11:31 AM | Report abuse

I can see it now. Jennifer walks in on John with one of his groupies and exclaims "John, the first 15 times I caught you I let it go, but 16 is the last straw for me."

Posted by: dw | August 14, 2008 11:36 AM | Report abuse

Netflix shipments are delayed??? What?!? I'm waiting on Season 3 of The Wire. Does this mean I'll have to... *choke* ...watch the Olympics?

Posted by: WDC | August 14, 2008 11:39 AM | Report abuse

u peeple r so mean to grammer pulice!

Posted by: luvgrammerpolice | August 14, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Just say this on IMDB - can we all snark in person now:

The Hills Move To Washington
14 August 2008 9:07 AM, PDT


Lauren Conrad's hit reality TV show The Hills is to be given a politically-themed spin-off, set in Washington, D.C.

The new show is about another group of privileged girls who live in the nation's capital.

According to the New York Post, the show is set to star city socialites Krista Johnson, Katherine Kennedy, and Sophie Pyle.

Johnson tells the newspaper, "It's going to be about our real lives. It's going to be in the same vein as MTV's The Hills, but ours is going to be more realistic."

Posted by: MGC | August 14, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

nonononononononono. Please don't let it be true, MGC.

Posted by: Sully is horrified | August 14, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Dear Ernie,

I am amazed at your economy when obtaining needed temporary help. Only $2? Heck, I paid $114,000. Will you be my new campaign finance director?

Sincerly,

/s/ John
JE in 2012 for Sure Committee

Posted by: Open Letter to Ernest Borgnine | August 14, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

Just say this on IMDB - can we all snark in person now:

The Hills Move To Washington
14 August 2008 9:07 AM, PDT
------------------------------------------
In the words of of Jack Foley (aka George Clooney in Out of Sight) "No, no, no, no, no, no, no...F@#*! F*#@!

Posted by: say it ain't so | August 14, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

The Hills DC - Oh, dear God...no.

Posted by: beaker | August 14, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

In the words of of Jack Foley (aka George Clooney in Out of Sight) "No, no, no, no, no, no, no...F@#*! F*#@!
**************

I liked that movie. A lot.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

In the words of of Jack Foley (aka George Clooney in Out of Sight) "No, no, no, no, no, no, no...F@#*! F*#@!
**************

I liked that movie. A lot.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 11:53 AM

---------------------------------------
Me too, methinks!

Posted by: clw remembers the bathtub scene | August 14, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

"After continually reading all the "witty" but totally irrelevant comments by some regulars, I get the feeling that these people think the chat is being monitored by Hollywood talent scouts and this is their big chance to get a screenplay deal or reality show. Ms. Liz needs to get things back on topic."

Why, thank you, 11:04, for recognizing my talent. I'm hoping that someone besides the Empress of the Style Invitational will come to appreciate my talent for writing witty repartee in my screenplays. Oh, did I mention that I I was known as a great song and dance man in the backwoods near Vancouver (Washington)? And in my spare time I play violin at Metro stops?

Now do you want a soup or side salad with your lunch?

Posted by: Sasquatch takes 11:04's order | August 14, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

thanks byoolin, now I'm going to hear scooby doo saying "Abu Dhabi" in my head all day long!

the three greatest inventions of all time are, in no particular order: duct tape, the sharpie and double-sided tape.

Posted by: b | August 14, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous reminds me of "Peep Show" when Jeremy said his band is named "Various Artists" just to f*%^ with people who use iPods.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

The Hills Move To Washington
14 August 2008 9:07 AM, PDT


As long as they stay off Metro I'm good.

Posted by: petal | August 14, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Celebritology: Love It Or Leave It.
Posted by: Wikijen | August 14, 2008 10:48 AM

Double word.

And for all those horrified by Ernest Borgnine and his cheap hookers- as many have pointed out, two dollars went a lot further in those days. You could probably get a pretty classy lady for that price. Why, for two dollars, you could fill up your Oldsmobile roadster and still have enough left over to buy a gill of Doctor Winslowe's Soothing Syrup!
(This does not lessen the horror of imagining Ernest Borgnine with a hooker.)

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 14, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

Katie Holmes's dress looks like Suri made it in a preschool duct tape project. And her crooked, asymmetrical no-teeth smile is increasingly driving me to distraction. And her hair is getting shorter and shorter -- she's copying Britney, but incrementally.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Liz said she wants to prognosticate about who John Mayer is going to date next. I was wondering the same thing about Jennifer Aniston.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

LLL, I humbly volunteer to jump on the grenade and date Jennifer Aniston.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Ah, cheap hookers. Those were the days. You could also pat a broad on the a$$ without getting slapped with a lawsuit. Prohibition was kind of a bummer, though.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:22 PM | Report abuse

"LLL, I humbly volunteer to jump on the grenade and date Jennifer Aniston."

Not in that order, I hope.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, I think there's probably already a line forming. LOTS of grenade jumpers prepared to take one for the good of the country.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

"I saw a magazine cover at the airport newsstand this week which announced Jennifer Aniston's big plans for her wedding to John Mayer. Way to scare him off, Jen." - Posted by: new england | August 14, 2008 11:19 AM

****

That explains why she was heard saying to herself, "Mission accomplished!" earlier today.

Posted by: byoolin theorizes | August 14, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

By the way, for those who like Britcoms, I watched the entire series of "Peep Show" with David Mitchell and Rob Webb last weekend, and it is hilarious. You can watch it all from YouTube (until someone discovers this post, anyway). Me likee.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

The Hills DC? Why?

Seriously, why? Unless they think MTV is suddenly goign to become a policy wonk hangout I don't think the audience is going to find too much that's really interesting around here. Where would the film, Georgetown? Yeah, real "DC".

If they really want some "Hills" they could always try the hills in South East.....

Posted by: EricS | August 14, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus,

Are you looking for a medal or just a breast to pin it on?

Posted by: yuk, yuk, yuk | August 14, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

The Hills in SE has been on, only it was located in Baltimore -- The Wire, The Corner, and Homicide: Life on the Streets.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Members of the Abu Dhabi royal family must be extremely desperate and hard-up. Do they know Pammy has Hep-C and god only knows what else?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Pammy is showing herself as remarkably adept in following the money. Props given where props deserved.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

John Cusack has a stalker, huh? I've been stalking him in my head since "Better Off Dead." Well, not so much stalking as planning our wedding. Good thing that stalker is being prosecuted because a stalker busting up my wedding is not in the plans.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

That Katie Holmes dress is, as Christian from PR last year, is a hot, tranny mess. Especially the top. Although it's better than her hubby's jeans.

Looove the shoes though.

As for Mr. Thornton as Freddy, I think it'll work. After all he dated Angelina & he's got all kinds of weird phobias so he has firsthand knowledge about the crazies.

Posted by: Bored @ work | August 14, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

TO:

the three greatest inventions of all time are, in no particular order: duct tape, the sharpie and double-sided tape.

Posted by: b | August 14, 2008 12:08 PM

===========================================

Don't forget to include my own personal invention, the F@rt-O-Meter, in this list.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 12:43 PM | Report abuse

"... After all he dated Angelina"

Worse, he was married to her.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Try as I might, I can't imagine the first conversation between Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob that led them both to believe they had a future. Any speculations?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

The Hills DC is going to be about sex people. Young, pretty, BLONDE, women sleeping with old political men to get the rent paid, nice dinners, etc. I believe there was a blog on this subject a few years back. Hopefully, it goes away faster than Denise Richards' show.

Really, Jennifer, you looked at his track record and were convinced he would marry you?

I'm glad the Playboy Mansion parties are ending. I hope they end the SuperBowl Playboy Party too.

Posted by: ep | August 14, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

If they really want some "Hills" they could always try the hills in South East.....

Posted by: EricS | August 14, 2008 12:27 PM

If they go to some of those hills the poor dears may never be found again. Let's hold that thought as a possibility in the event that they become annoying.

Posted by: petal | August 14, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Try as I might, I can't imagine the first conversation between Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob that led them both to believe they had a future. Any speculations?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:45 PM
=========================================

Sure.

BBT: "Helo, my name is Billy Bob."

AJ: "That's a funny name."

BBT: "Yeah, I know. Wanna fook?"

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

No double entendres or coy looks? All business? Really, Mudge?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Petal -- "in the event that they become annoying"? You haven't been paying close attention, have you?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

I think Angelina and BBT bonded over a shared love of snakes. Angelina loves pythons, and BBT loves his own.

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

TO:
No double entendres or coy looks? All business? Really, Mudge?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:48 PM
=========================================

Nope. Yup. Yup.

We're talkin' Billy Bob and Angelina, right?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

LLL,

Good point, I forgot Heincer and company. The chief of the Manhattan Project will need to make the ship bigger.

Posted by: petal | August 14, 2008 12:59 PM | Report abuse

Airhead Singletary's chat is funny today, tee-hee.

Posted by: What a nitwit | August 14, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

The Hills DC? Why?

So they could be the Capitol Hills?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 14, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

I love the smell of trolls in the morning...Smells like snark!

Posted by: Lt.Col. Bill Kilgore | August 14, 2008 10:06 AM

I hear that Julia Child had a recipe for snarked troll.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 14, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

When Rachel Hunter and hockey player Jarret Stoll knock boots, do they puck each other?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:54 AM

Do they go for the hat trick?

Posted by: Nosy Parker blushes | August 14, 2008 1:04 PM | Report abuse

After continually reading all the "witty" but totally irrelevant comments by some regulars, I get the feeling that these people think the chat is being monitored by Hollywood talent scouts and this is their big chance to get a screenplay deal or reality show. Ms. Liz needs to get things back on topic.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 11:04 AM


Wrong blog.
The windbag losers looking for attention are mostly on the Achenblog.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

"Do they go for the hat trick?"

He sings "You Can Leave Your Hat On" to her.

Posted by: Sasquatch sings randy Newman | August 14, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Mudge tries her hand at writing a screenplay:

BBT: "Helo, my name is Billy Bob."

AJ: "That's a funny name."

BBT: "Yeah, I know. Wanna fook?

-------------------------------------------
I think you've got a winner, Mudge, despite what Anonymous Anus says.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

When Rachel Hunter and hockey player Jarret Stoll knock boots, do they puck each other?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:54 AM

Do they go for the hat trick?

Posted by: Nosy Parker blushes | August 14, 2008 1:04 PM

*****************************************

Also, do we know if this guy is a grinder or is he known for icing and high sticking. Does Rachel Hunter use a butterfly style?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

When Rachel Hunter and hockey player Jarret Stoll knock boots, do they puck each other?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:54 AM

Do they go for the hat trick?

Posted by: Nosy Parker blushes | August 14, 2008 1:04 PM

*****************************************

Also, do we know if this guy is a grinder or is he known for icing and high sticking. Does Rachel Hunter use a butterfly style?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 1:10 PM

I take it that Rachael doesn't mind when Jarret hangs out in her crease.

Posted by: Sasquatch wonders when Byoolin will share a hockey double entendre | August 14, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

But if Rachel tells him he's Le Mieux, she'll be in a heap o' trouble.

Posted by: Nosy Parker says Zut alors! | August 14, 2008 1:19 PM | Report abuse

Too bad Jarret Stoll plays center instead of winger. Think of all the deep slot jokes one could make.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

The forecheck as foreplay.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Won't even bring up the wristshot

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Regarding the Paula Wagner thing. She got fired from UA for NOT making movies. Now considering the terrible movies we have discussed here that are getting made, how bad were the movies she refused to greenlight? She had a $500 million credit line and refused to use it to make movies. How does one do that? The Lizards would have made better execs than her. We would have been authorizing movies right and left -- and they would have been a thousand times better than most of what Hollywood is putting out.

Posted by: ep | August 14, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

When Jarret gets lucky, is he in the Five Hole?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

"Face wash in the corner"?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 1:45 PM | Report abuse

Hahahahahaha, I get it!

Posted by: ...Sully must learn something about this "hockey" | August 14, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

I met Julia one day. She offered me Weasel Flambé. Having a (beyond) top secret clearance and having read her dossier, I knew better than to eat the weasel.

Posted by: Lt.Col. Bill Kilgore | August 14, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Ah, Jarret Stoll, there, good Canadian kid - good faceoff guy there, plays hard, good for 20 minutes a night almost, good plus/minus. The oney think I don' like about him is he scores like a defenceman. 187 shots last year and he only got it in there 14 times. He's got hands like mine there - mostly cement - couldn't score with two hands, a GPS, and a bucket of pucks.

But listen up, kids - he's knockin' skates with that supermodel there, so maybe he's better in the corners than I was.

Posted by: Don byoolin Cherry talks to his fellow Canadians. | August 14, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Oh, byoolin. I love it when you talk canadian.

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

UK officials: Christian Bale will not face charges
The Associated Press
Thursday, August 14, 2008; 1:24 PM

LONDON -- British prosecutors say Batman star Christian Bale will not face charges relating to an alleged assault on his mother and sister at the Dorchester Hotel on July 21.

The country's Crown Prosecution Service says there is insufficient evidence to afford a "realistic prospect of conviction" and has ordered the police not to take any further action.

British media had reported that Bale's mother and sister told police he assaulted them at the hotel a day before he attended the European premiere of his film "The Dark Knight."

Bale denies the allegation.

Posted by: breaking news | August 14, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

One of the top stories on wapost at the moment:

"How to stop Putin"

Posted by: Sully wants to know if this is funny | August 14, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Try as I might, I can't imagine the first conversation between Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob that led them both to believe they had a future. Any speculations?

Posted by: LLL | August 14, 2008 12:45 PM
=========================================

Sure.

BBT: "Helo, my name is Billy Bob."

AJ: "That's a funny name."

BBT: "Yeah, I know. Wanna fook?"

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 12:47 PM
_______________

I'm thinking more like this --

AJ: So, do you have a woman in your life?

BBT: Yes, I'm engaged.

AJ: Wanna fook?

Posted by: SatchelFan | August 14, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Anything written by Charles Krauthammer must be funny.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

One of the top stories on wapost at the moment:

"How to stop Putin"

Posted by: Sully wants to know if this is funny | August 14, 2008 1:51 PM

*****

It's a funny question. Possible answers:

* Don't eat things that you know cause Putin.

* Try to Putout for a while.

* You say 'Putin,' I say 'Putato.'

* Have you tried, 'Stop, Putin'?

Posted by: byoolin | August 14, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

When Rachel Hunter and hockey player Jarret Stoll knock boots, do they puck each other?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 10:54 AM
---------------------------------------

I wonder if she like slapshots?

He must really enjoy those trips to the Box.

Posted by: EricS | August 14, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps our illustrious POTUS should try this:

"Hey Pooie-Poot, wanna fook?"

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

I met Julia one day. She offered me Weasel Flambé. Having a (beyond) top secret clearance and having read her dossier, I knew better than to eat the weasel.

Posted by: Lt.Col. Bill Kilgore | August 14, 2008 1:47 PM

Darn, thought that was going to be a limerick.

Posted by: ADHD | August 14, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Is "eating the weasel" sorta like "jumping the shark" only in the cooking biz?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

If I may, on the Lt. Col's behalf:

I met chef Julia Child one fall day
Cooking her famous Weasel Flambé.
In a voice that would chill you,
she said, "Now I must kill you,
For reading my cookbook - er, dossier."

Posted by: byoolin doesn't scan worth spit. | August 14, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

One of the top stories on wapost at the moment:

"How to stop Putin"

Posted by: Sully wants to know if this is funny | August 14, 2008 1:51 PM
********

Answer: yes.

Posted by: methinks | August 14, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, you had me at "flambe'"

Posted by: Sasquatch sings "Pop goes the weasel" | August 14, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Is "eating the weasel" sorta like "jumping the shark" only in the cooking biz?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 2:13 PM

****

It's better: sing it like Elmer Fudd sings "Kill the wabbit."

Posted by: byoolinarotti | August 14, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Er, sing "Eat the weasel" like Elmer Fudd sings "Kill the wabbit."

Posted by: byoolin | August 14, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Was just at CVS, and saw that the Star has a headline about Jennifer Aniston having John Mayer's baby.

So is she going to raise the baby alone? Oh wait, you mean it might not be true? The Star might be lying to me?

Owe the humanity!

Posted by: B'More Cat and CVS Lover...okay, maybe not so much | August 14, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Thank you, byoolin. My day is now complete.

Posted by: ADHD can't scan neither nohow | August 14, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

One of the top stories on wapost at the moment:

"How to stop Putin"

Posted by: Sully wants to know if this is funny | August 14, 2008 1:51 PM

*******************************

On the Ritz?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 2:32 PM | Report abuse

B'More Cat & CVS lover, did you try the Star covers at Rite Aid? Maybe they have something different, like Jen getting arrested for beating up John.

Posted by: ADHD | August 14, 2008 2:36 PM | Report abuse

As long as there's no Putin on the Cheetos.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 2:41 PM | Report abuse

"How to Stop Putin"?

Just say NO.

Posted by: Curmudgeon remembers that it worked for Nancy | August 14, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, that last one I sent was pretty lame-o.

How about, "Hey, are you Putin me on?"

or, Miss Manners' new book, "How to Stop Putin the Salad Fork on the Wrong Side of the Dinner Plate"

or, "How to Stop Putin Your Chewing Gum Under the Movie Seats"

or, "I like putin catsup on my weasel flambe"

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Thank you byoolin!

Mudge, it would be more like kicking the bucket or popping the pasta!

Now, I got to get back to surfing.

Posted by: Lt.Col. Bill Kilgore | August 14, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

See, I would just suggest laying of the beans.

Posted by: Sully | August 14, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Once again, I'm a bit ashamed of my display of immaturity...

Posted by: Sully's brother would be proud | August 14, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Step away from that match, Sully.

Posted by: Sasquatch, keeper of the Flame | August 14, 2008 3:08 PM | Report abuse

How to stop Putin

darn that Jamie Lee Curtis I took her Activia advice and now I don't know How to stop Putin.

B'More cat lover,
I felt the same way about the Enquirer and then the Edwards story turned out to be true so you never know.

Posted by: petal spend an evening at the tiki bar then read it again. | August 14, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

Really, sully, it was extremely immature of you to say that before I got a chance to.

Posted by: epony | August 14, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

"Try as I might, I can't imagine the first conversation between Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob that led them both to believe they had a future. Any speculations?"

Conversation? I believe it was the fooking that led them to believe they had a future. After all, that's what leads most celebs into believing they have a future. Someone needs to teach most of 'em how to tell the difference between lust & love.

And speaking of which, any predictions on how long until Pammy marries whomever from the Abu Dhabi royal family? Is divorce legal there? If not, she may be in for a world of trouble.

Posted by: Californian | August 14, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Odd...all this talk about Ali's "shoes" and no comments from...

Oh, wait, that's NOT something to complain about.

Posted by: Arlington, VA | August 14, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

My only complaint about Ali Lohan is why do the Lohan sisters insist on dying their hair black? Keep the red.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

And speaking of which, any predictions on how long until Pammy marries whomever from the Abu Dhabi royal family? Is divorce legal there? If not, she may be in for a world of trouble.

Posted by: Californian | August 14, 2008 3:16 PM

I'm pretty sure that the Abu Dhabi prince isn't planning on MARRYING Pamela Anderson. He's probably just having a good time before marrying whomever has been approved for him by his father, and his father's father, and his father's father's father.

Posted by: B'More Cat and Gossip Lover | August 14, 2008 3:43 PM | Report abuse

oooooooooo.

Maybe Pammy will become a member of the prince's hareem and have to do whatever he says (I know these things; I've read Betrice Small's novels.). And we won't know about her adventures until someone, who will become the REAL love of her life, comes to rescue her using his strength and cunning . . . blah, blah, blah

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

My only complaint about Ali Lohan is why do the Lohan sisters insist on dying their hair black? Keep the red.


Posted by: Dorkus | August 14, 2008 3:38 PM

******

It's better than the blonde hair. When LiLo goes blonde, it makes her skin look dirty, like she needs a good scrubdown. (Heck, maybe she IS just dirty.)

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 4:18 PM | Report abuse

When LiLo goes blonde, it makes her skin look dirty

Pretty sure those are just freckles. After all, she IS a redhead.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 4:31 PM | Report abuse

Alex, how do you measure "dirty"? Is there a Dirty Scale somewhere? If not, perhaps we need to create one with several reference points. Sample reference points might include the following:

Audrey Hepburn
Andy the Cat
Paris Hilton
Britney Spears
Amy Winehouse
Matthew McConaughey
Sasquatch
Mike Rowe

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 14, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Sasquatch,

Just above the Audrey Hepburn listing, we should put Baby Jesus Right After a Diaper Change.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

I don't know if there's a scale, but there is a list of celebrities who look like they need a bath. Colin Farrell is definitely on it (along with many of those Sasquatch named).

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 5:45 PM | Report abuse

A lot of Brits seem to be on the "need a bath" list--many of them are also on the "need to buy a comb" list.

I'd also add Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Rhys Ifans, Jamie Hince, Pete Daugherty, Lily Allen, etc. Notice how many of these people seem to hang around together?

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 5:49 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, but where do these scoundrels fit on The List (e.g., is Kate Moss before or after Britney; is pete Daugherty after Mike Rowe or before Sasquatch)?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 14, 2008 5:56 PM | Report abuse

Julia Phillips, in her Hollywood memoir "You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again," described Goldie Hawn as having filthy stringy hair (when not working).

Posted by: Nosy Parker would love to kiss you, but just washed her hair | August 14, 2008 5:57 PM | Report abuse

Why is Mike Rowe even on the list? He's not dirty in real life, just for the job.

Kate Moss is definitely dirtier than Britney. Brit does clean up on occasion.

Paris acts like a skank, but doesn't actually appear to need a steam cleaning. She may lack morals (and undies), but she practices good grooming.

I'd heard that about Goldie Hawn. She benefitted from having good bone structure the skills of makeup artists. Like Cameron Diaz and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 6:10 PM | Report abuse

Sorry--Goldie had good bone structure AND the skills of makeup artists.

(Can't work at my day job and practice celebritology snarking at the same time!)

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 6:12 PM | Report abuse

OOOooooh, the OSS files! I can't wait! My great-aunt worked for the OSS pre- and during World War II and she would never talk about it except to say "I was a secretary, not a spy". But after she died I went through her passports and wow, she made a lot of trips in and out of Germany in the lead up to the war. Maybe I'll finally get some answers if I can access that stuff through the national archives.

Jennifer Aniston better get another high profile boyfriend pdq--it's the only way she maintains presence as a "celebrity". Seriously, I can't remember the last time anyone talked about her work or a movie she's been cast in.

Posted by: hermespal | August 14, 2008 6:15 PM | Report abuse

I think Jen should hook up with Keanu Reeves so they can share acting tips.

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 6:31 PM | Report abuse

How did Andy the Cat get on the list, O Hairy One? Not only is he cute as a button, but kitties are very clean.

Posted by: Californian | August 14, 2008 6:44 PM | Report abuse

I think Sas meant that Andy and Audrey are on the clean end of the scale. Things go downhill and dirty from there. But I think it was unfair to put Mike Rowe in the dirty anchor spot just because of his job. Surely deodorant-eschewing Matt M, skanky Kate, or bad boy Colin might merit that honor?

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 6:51 PM | Report abuse

Jennifer Aniston does seem to be working.

Gambit (2009) (announced) (rumored) .... Nicole
The Senator's Wife (2009) (announced) .... Rosalind
Marley & Me (2008) (post-production) .... Jennifer Grogan
Management (2008) (post-production) .... Sue Claussen
Traveling (2008) (post-production)
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) (completed) .... Beth

I am actually looking forward to Marley and Me. I loved the book.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 14, 2008 6:53 PM | Report abuse

A lot of Brits seem to be on the "need a bath" list--many of them are also on the "need to buy a comb" list.

I'd also add Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Rhys Ifans, Jamie Hince, Pete Daugherty, Lily Allen, etc. Notice how many of these people seem to hang around together?

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 5:49 PM

---------------------------------------

alex, I can't believe you left off the dirtiest brit of them all...Amy Winehouse. I love her music, but girl looks like she needs a flea dip.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 14, 2008 6:54 PM | Report abuse

Anon, I don't doubt that she's working, but there never seems to be any press about that, just who she's seeing. I confess I forgot she was in the trailer I saw for "He's Just Not That Into You", maybe because she's in one tiny scene in it amidst a pretty stellar cast. She just doesn't really register, IMO.

Posted by: hermespal | August 14, 2008 7:04 PM | Report abuse

jake e. poo, Sas already had your girl Amy covered (so to speak). Agree that she probably could have been a bit higher on the list, too. It's not just the teased/matted hair; it's also the various sores and scabs and dishevelled clothing. Just looking at her makes me itch.

Is there some kind of soap and water shortage in Britain?

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 7:09 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, I loved that book (Julia Phillips). Took a lot of nerve to write it and put a lot of people in their place. And great stories from shooting the movies. I loved this summary after the many stories of The Sting:

"Some lessons from The Sting: If you can't be first, be best. If you can't be best, be first. If you can't be good, be fast. Don't get mad, get even. Jump off the bridge when you get to it. And don't forget to throw some garbage on the street on your way down. P.S. Remember to negotiate thickness as well as height on the lettering of your name."

Posted by: hermespal | August 14, 2008 7:11 PM | Report abuse

P.S. Remember to negotiate thickness as well as height on the lettering of your name.

Yup. Size matters.

Posted by: alex | August 14, 2008 7:33 PM | Report abuse

Hermespal, your Grandma's story would make a great movie script! Or, if you don't have enough info for a bio, at least historical fiction.

Posted by: Nosy Parker is off to watch the Olympics now | August 14, 2008 8:03 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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