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Posted at 7:25 AM ET, 08/21/2008

Morning Mix: Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Ricky Martin becomes father of twin boys... Matt Damon and wife welcome second daughter... Jennifer Garner confirms it, she's pregnant... Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn expecting third child... Britney Spears says she gave up sugar (including fruit) to get figure back... Sheryl Crow offers voting incentive... Jessica Simpson wants us to drink a cold, Dallas-made beer... Janet Jackson launching line of lingerie... Mini-Me Verne Troyer lands his own reality show... Gary Glitter back in Thailand after Hong Kong refuses him entry.

Crime Watch: Other driver cited in Shia LaBeouf crash.

Rumor Mill: Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake team up for duet?... Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams back together?... Winona Ryder dating Tom Green?... Oprah is totally over being O magazine's cover girl... Lindsay Lohan caught up in Phelps fever.

Real or Fake?: Funny or Die posted this footage (not new, but new to me) -- purportedly an isolated feed from Britney Spears's microphone during a live performance circa before SPF and JJ. (This item completes today's Britney Hat Trick.)

Chat Day: Join me live at 2 p.m. ET for this week's thrilling edition of Celebritology Live. Then, at 3 p.m. ET, comedian Tommy Chong chats about his life, work, clashes with the law and his new book, "Cheech and Chong, The Unauthorized Autobiography."

By Liz Kelly  | August 21, 2008; 7:25 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Highbrow: Parsing Roseanne's Anti-Brangelina Stance
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Comments

Oh, that Britney video is painful. I guess what I'm wondering is whether other "big show" performers really do any better on stage in live shows with all the crap going on? Also, I remember once hearing an isolated live feed off of Linda McCartney's mike during a Wings performance of Hey Jude that was more off-key than Britney.

Posted by: 23112 | August 21, 2008 8:37 AM | Report abuse

luvlindsay, please teach your girl how to use some class when asking Mrs. Phelps to meet her son...

Posted by: Osteph | August 21, 2008 8:42 AM | Report abuse

And we're totally over Oprah's being O magazine's cover girl.

I mean, how many different "aspects" can a person have?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

The end of the Britney video, there is a credit for "original audio"...which I am going to take to mean "created/invented audio." It's still a pretty awesome video.

Posted by: Omaha | August 21, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Wow. I had banished Tom Green from my memory. Free Winona indeed.

Posted by: Paul | August 21, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

Another "Highbrow" day....

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

I'm no Britney fan, and I just have to say her out-of-breath singing is also an attribute to her aerobic-like shows.

Granted being on-key may be too much to ask from Ms. Spears. I have to remember she is not a singer; she is an image/brand.

Posted by: unmute | August 21, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

So, I'm not sure how big of a star Pat Green is outside of Texas, but this news story just cracked me up.

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=58477a94-007d-47d7-ae01-5ae703099e26

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

I don't get the infatuation with Tom Green. Didn't Drew Barrymore used to date him or be engaged to him or something? All I can think about this is... is...eeeeew!

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Yes Tom Green and Drew Barrymore were MARRIED for about 6 months

Posted by: to hodie | August 21, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Is Jessica Simpson's beer squeezed from whole buffalo?

Wow, Ricky Martin AND Tom Green. It's like college all over again. Liz, can we get some news on the Baja Men? That would complete the triad.

Posted by: Bawlmer | August 21, 2008 9:24 AM | Report abuse

"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know. That something wasn't ri-e-i-ight." -- a good sound engineer, that's how!

Wow, Britney! Are her backup singers singing the same line to fill it out or does she have amazing people fixing it?

"I want to welcome you to a world where anything can happen." Indeed.

Posted by: td did it again | August 21, 2008 9:31 AM | Report abuse

That Britney/Justin duet rumor keeps surfacing. He'd have to be crazy to do it.

I hope Miss-Janet-If-You're-Nasty provides a range of sizes for her new line, so she herself can wear them based on her fluctuating weight. She's thin, she's not, she's thin, she's not. She always looks good to me either way.

Are we sure it's really Verne Troyer with the reality show or is it Suri's doll?

Posted by: td | August 21, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

23112, that Linda McCartney feed is the BEST. http://www.twistedunicorn.com/sounds/pages/lindamccartney.html

Posted by: td says it could be better better better | August 21, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

It's hot in Hollywood — and it has nothing to do with the weather. In Touch Weekly chose 10 men whose chiseled abs make men jealous — and women lose their cool.

To no one's surprise, soccer star David Beckham tops the list. "His body brings to mind the beautiful Michelangelo statue in Florence," said designer Giorgio Armani, who handpicked the 33-year-old British hunk for his ad campaigns.

Robert Buckley, 27, star of "Lipstick Jungle," ranks second, despite being overweight as a kid. "I was on the chubby side and used to swim with my T-shirt on," he admits.

"Dancing With the Stars" stud Mario Lopez, 34, made the list at No. 3.

"I'm very flattered," he said between his grueling workouts of boxing and cycling.

Hugh Jackman, 39, cut sugars and bread from his diet — and it landed him at No. 4.

"Criminal Minds" star Shemar Moore, 38, works on his fabulous abs — even on the set.

"I'm not gonna lie. I'm vain, like anybody else," Moore told the magazine, which is on newsstands now.

Ryan Sutter, 33, who won America's heart on "The Bachelor," is ranked sixth — but admits he "barely even does sit-ups."

Rocker Gavin Rossdale, 42, gets his seventh-ranked abs from playing tennis; reality star Brody Jenner, 25, makes the list at No. 8 with his Olympic-gold medalist
dad's genes.

Rounding out the list are Zac Efron, 20, who calls working out his "biggest hobby," and new dad Matthew McConaughey, 38.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Not sure I would buy a bra from Janet seeing as how they tend to fall apart...

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Good Lord Dorkus! That is a funny story!

Posted by: Osteph | August 21, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Snore - video totally faked. Yup, I'm going with the "original audio" credit as the big tip off, followed by the speaking shots at the end not at all matching her facial movements, then capping it off with the worst southern accent evah! Y'all!

Posted by: rachelt | August 21, 2008 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Poor Winona Ryder, to go from dating Johnny Depp to Tom Green makes me cry.

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 21, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

I wonder if Janet's new lingerie line will include nipple rings, rubber cat suits (which she wore during one of her concerts), and tear-away bras ala Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction.

Posted by: clw | August 21, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

But that was just a malfunction, hodie!

Oprah - it's about time. I am continually amazed by how out of touch this woman is.

There are far too many babies in the morning mix and I would like to lodge an official protest. Many people are trying to convince me that I should have a second child and it's very hard to argue with "Well, Jennifer Garner is having another one."

Posted by: sunnydaze | August 21, 2008 9:49 AM | Report abuse

argh, td, you took my comment about Janet Jackson's lingerie line. Though I am impressed with the bra sizes - from 32A to 44G. As someone with an impressive set of "shoes", I may have to check this out.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Go figure, it only to the Big O eight years to become tired of appearing on every cover.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 9:54 AM | Report abuse

It's hot in Hollywood — and it has nothing to do with the weather. In Touch Weekly chose 10 men whose chiseled abs make men jealous — and women lose their cool.

To no one's surprise, soccer star David Beckham tops the list. "His body brings to mind the beautiful Michelangelo statue in Florence," said designer Giorgio Armani, who handpicked the 33-year-old British hunk for his ad campaigns.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 9:40 AM

what about the us mens swim team???? or that italian soccer player that LTL drools over?

Posted by: juju | August 21, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

I'm surprised Glitter even tried to enter Hong Kong - isn't Hong Kong older than 12?

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 10:07 AM | Report abuse

Wow, epony you got me mid-gulp. Nice set-up and execution, expect a bill for my new keyboard.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Congrats to Ricky Martin. He had to go through a lot of effort to be a dad, so he must really want it.

I too have had enough of Oprah, on her magazine, on the TV, wherever. Can she go away now?

Posted by: jaybbub | August 21, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

I'm ok with Britney teaming up with Justin as long as she doesn't wear any Janet Jackson lingerie.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 21, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

A Verne Troyer reality TV Show! Can't some network buy this NOW?

I already have a working title:

Little Person/Big Weird

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 21, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken should form a Gestational Surrogacy group on HoffSpace.

Posted by: M Street | August 21, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Isn't Tommy Chong, like, over 70 now? What could be more pathetic than an geriatric stoner?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 10:24 AM | Report abuse

"bra sizes - from 32A to 44G"

So basically just a little more than the typical size spread that Janet goes through over the course of a year? I can't think of anyone who balloons and shrinks more than she does.

Posted by: 23112 | August 21, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

What I want to know is whether Janet Jakcson's new line of brassieres will come with a built-in malfunction option. Can you imagine how much more closely men would pay attention to women if there was a chance for a random pop-out?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:33 AM | Report abuse

And we're totally over Oprah's being O magazine's cover girl.

I mean, how many different "aspects" can a person have?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 8:53 AM

=============================================
Mudge, think of the O covers as charting the looks of Oprah through the seasons: Fat, Diet, In Training, Show-Off, Fat, ...

Who are the people who are so deficient in motivation and energy that they subscribe to O?

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

That's the problem Sasquatch, that IS what men pay attention too.

An old beau's motto: More than a mouthful is wasteful.

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 10:41 AM | Report abuse

Sasquatch, previous post re Janet Jackson lingerie line comment but I guess could apply to your Oprah comment as well. >shudder<

Posted by: hodie, | August 21, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

That's the problem Sasquatch, that IS what men pay attention too.

An old beau's motto: More than a mouthful is wasteful.
-----------------------------

Your old beau's a dork. Just saying, that's all.

Are we sure LL isn't mistaking "Phelps Fever" for the newest designer herion?

Posted by: EricS | August 21, 2008 10:48 AM | Report abuse

If Oprah were smart, she'd start backing out of the public eye real soon. She's worn out her welcome.

Maybe this magazine thingy is the first move in that direction.

Ricky Martin, Cleigh (rhymes with . . . )Aiken, and Rush Limbaugh: the next Celebrity Death Match trio. Open the armored door to the locked room . . .

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

More than a mouthful might be a waste, but it sure is a lot of fun!!!!

Posted by: Brutal | August 21, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

Hodie, your old beau was wrong.

More than a mouthful is a HAPPY MEAL

Posted by: McSasquatch | August 21, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

OK, I will come right out and say it bluntly. Kids fighting in the car.

"Mommy, he is looking at me!"

"Daddy, she is breathing the same air as me!"

Mommy, Daddy, he/she/it is hitting me.

I will admit that my kids are NOT perfect (some of the time.)

And that's a fact, Jack!

Posted by: to anon @ 10.27 | August 21, 2008 10:38 AM

YOU raised these kids to behave this way...pay the consequences.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 10:48 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

EricS watch how you use the word dork

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Zac Efron wears more make than I do. He makes men AND women swoon.

Posted by: Sheba | August 21, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

What could be more pathetic than an geriatric stoner?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 10:24 AM

Someone too craven to own their opinions, perhaps?

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

I can't think of anyone who balloons and shrinks more than she does.

Posted by: 23112 | August 21, 2008 10:31 AM

Hmmmmmmmm, let me think, O!

Posted by: Elias Howe | August 21, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

Ok well then us mammary challenged citizens can play at that game.... We girls lie, Size does matter! ; )
Just don't let Oprah buy one of those.. she could put an eye out.

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 11:19 AM | Report abuse

The comments on this blog continue to upset me. Everyone is so mean to each other it brings me to tears. Why does there have to be such hatred - we're talking about cars and vans! There's no reason to tear each other apart. My husband says its just to relieve stress, but all this fighting on this blog makes me cry.

Posted by: Nancy | August 21, 2008 11:17 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

What problems did Ricky Martin have? Other than basically no career?

And his comments are strange - he announces his twins, but will not comment on his sexuality? Well, who cares about his sexuality? Or his twins? Why bother telling everyone that he used a surrogate if he didn't want to invite comments on his sexuality? Clay Aiken? Was Clay wondering?

Posted by: Amelia | August 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Are Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken's kids going to have play dates together?

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

The comments on this blog continue to upset me. Everyone is so mean to each other it brings me to tears. Why does there have to be such hatred - we're talking about cars and vans! There's no reason to tear each other apart. My husband says its just to relieve stress, but all this fighting on this blog makes me cry.

Posted by: Nancy | August 21, 2008 11:17 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Hodie admits:
"Ok well then us mammary challenged citizens can play at that game.... We girls lie, Size does matter! ; )"

------------------------------------------

So my admirers tell me.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

seriously, oprah, even rosie put someone else on her mag cover once in a while. go ahead, give it a whirl?

sunnydaze, i'm in the same boat. gwen stefani and jennifer garner are opening the door to comments re: my next baby (um, never??!!!)

Posted by: wats | August 21, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Ok, for those who have been wondering . . .

ASSEMBLY OF LIZARDS
Celebritology Articles of Confederation

The CABAL of Lizard Island’s Fearless Leaders is as follows:

Lizard Island Tribal Chieftain - Gaius Dorkus Maximus
Lizard Island Attorney General - ep
Lizard Island Boat’s Water Emptier - Bai Ling
Lizard Island Chief Adviser for Island Activities - Curmudgeon
Lizard Island Chief of Meat Inspection - petal (who will ensure that Lizard Island welcomes only prime beef)
Lizard Island Chief Minimus Equi Herder - epony (who is also in charge of the stable lads)
Lizard Island Chief Priest (Pastafarian) - RiverCityRoller (who is especially good at the Ramen Ritual)
Lizard Island Chief of Security - Bawlmer (who, in deep despair, realizes that the uniforms are navy, silver, and white with a large star on the hat)
Lizard Island Chief of Violent Applause - LTL (who will be demanding a new monitor every day)
Lizard Island Dog Walker - janet (who will supervise the antics of and snacking for Frankie, the dingleberry dog)
Lizard Island Direcktor of Signs and Misinformation - B’more cat (who will confound the interlopers)
Lizard Island Doppelganger Detecktor - jake e.poo (who is in charge of weeding out those trolls who would impersonate us or our friends and guests)
Lizard Island Film Commission Director - hermespal (who will keep the bar well-stocked with whatever)
Lizard Island Film Office Casting Director - Nosy Parker (who will put the office’s couch to good use)
Lizard Island Intra-island Bike Messenger - Lizuarte Martins
Lizard Island Inventor of Useful and Other Stuff - Elias Howe
Lizard Island Minister of Keeping Track of Emmy Nomination Refusals - musicgeek (name withdrawn from consideration)
Lizard Island Mixed-drink Servers - Daniel Craig and the Spanish soccer team
Lizard Island Official Torch-holding Speedo-wearer - Beckham (who is the Island’s only CABAL-sanctioned Speedo wearer)
Lizard Island Party Chairperson - Gaia Groovis Maximus
Lizard Island Poet Laureate - Byoolin, by virtue of his cheeky little rhyme:Clearly someone took an ax/and gave the Bordens a bunch of whacks./Legally, though we dunno who did it/Since Lizzie Borden was acquitted.
Lizard Island Pouch Inspecktor - possum (who will guard against unauthorized embiggening)
Lizard Island Renewable Energy Source - Paris and her Manhattan Project dumb belles
Lizard Island Secretary of Defense - Sasquatch (mostly due to his body odor; requires a Patriot battery to take down those pesky pap helios)
Lizard Island Secretary of State - Byoolin (who has a knack for carming tempers and bringing Lizards together)
Lizard Island Tea Servers - Hugh Jackman and Colin Firth (who will serve everyone tea and say things in their great accents)
Lizard Island Tiki Bar Bouncer - Nick (who knows a pixie when he sees one)
Lizard Island Tiki Bar Tender - methinks (who is the maker of the perfect mojito)

The Articles

Article 1: The Chris Martin Amendment
Celebritology (herein after known as “the Lizards”) recognizes celebrities’ right to name their children according to their own wishes, but the Lizards reserve the right to mock whatever name celebrities so choose, whether it is a damnfool name such as Pilot Inspektor or a conservative name such as James. The Lizards apologize in advance for the opinions expressed by trolls visiting from "mommy-blogs" and expressly disavow any endorsement of their claims that they and only they know a damn thing about celebrities, their lives, their children, or anything connected in any way with Reality.

Article 2: The Sasquatch Explains It All Amendment
I've been in online net communities since before the net was opened to the general public (back in the Arpanet era).
I've observed and participated in enough virtual communities to know that each community has a virtual life. It changes and ages. Participants come and go. However, some aspects of the virtual community persist over time, over participant, and over subject matter.
Every online community includes a set of regular participants who get to know each other, and who, over time, share a common virtual history and virtual background knowledge. This common knowledge forms the basis for inside jokes and abbreviated messages.
Newbies come in three flavors: (1) Newbies who try to understand the milieu before they contribute; (2) Newbies who actively participate by asking questions; and (3) Newbies who complain about "insiders" and "cliques."
Whenever I read complaints from Newbie 3s, I wonder if they engage in similar maladaptive behavior in the real world. When they join a new social group -- be that group sustaining (a club or professional organization) or ephemeral (several people conversing in a group at a party) -- do Newbie 3s start complaining to the other members of the group because they cannot immediately comprehend the nuances of the conversation? Do they complain because the "regulars" do not meet the Newbie's expectations? I have met some who do, and I chalk them off as butt wipes. As we used to say in the old Volvo discussion group, YMMV.
My inference is that either that Newbie 3s are socially inept and have problems with group dynamics (in both real and virtual groups), or they have power issues and cannot stand to be in a group (either real or virtual) that they themselves do not dominate. In either case, the disgruntled Newbie 3s do the rest of the group a favor by leaving.
Bottom line: Newbie 3s are incapable of playing well with others. Their loss.
So, Disgruntled Former Regular -- and I have a good idea of who you are -- don't let the virtual door hit you on the virtual gluteus maximus on your way out. I hope you find a virtual community that you can dominate or that can put up with your whining. - Posted by: Sasquatch | August 19, 2008 8:32 PM

Posted by: Curmudgeon the Archive | August 21, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

Wait wait wait, size does matter? Great now I'm going to get a complex. Does personality make up for any short comings?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

The obsession with "anonymous" posts continues. Why does using a stupid made up name which is just as anonymous mean you "own" your opinion. Some people just don't feel like wasting time thinking up some cute tag line.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

"Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards . . . "

It's time to take steps, WaPo

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 21, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

To Anonymous:

Just use "Cute Tag Line". It's really cute! And a tag line!! And then you're not so anonymous.

Or whatev. I don't really care.

Posted by: Amelia | August 21, 2008 11:38 AM | Report abuse

The obsession with "anonymous" posts continues. Why does using a stupid made up name which is just as anonymous mean you "own" your opinion. Some people just don't feel like wasting time thinking up some cute tag line.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:35 AM


Right. The time wasted typing a made up name takes up too much coveted whining time.

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

The Sasquatch Amendment needs some editing. It goes from Newbies to Regulars without a good segue. Incomplete.

Hey! Maybe we could have an Anonymous Hour on Liz's discussion and guess who wrote which Anon post in the Friday contest.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

They don't come any bigger than a Dorkus Maximus!

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

listen folks, this is a BLOG. people can post anonymous comments all they want. nor do they have to abide by your "lizard" rules. stop acting as if this is an exclusive club. perhaps its time for liz to post down here and reiterate that this blog is for commenting on celebs and not "lizard island" and/or the "tiki bar."

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

I have been trying to interest Washpo in my newest invention for troll prevention, the A.S.S.* but Washpo is just not interested.

*Automatic Surname Supplier

Posted by: Elias Howe | August 21, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

anonymous, could you at least attach a number by your anonymous tagline? we just want to know which anonymous poster you are. consistancy is key! i hereby tag you: "anonymous 1"

Posted by: wats | August 21, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

"listen folks, this is a BLOG. people can post anonymous comments all they want. nor do they have to abide by your "lizard" rules. stop acting as if this is an exclusive club. perhaps its time for liz to post down here and reiterate that this blog is for commenting on celebs and not "lizard island" and/or the "tiki bar."


Posted by: Exhibit A of the Wasted Bandwidth Problem | August 21, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Looks more like Anonymous Number Two, if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

for you Dorkus, I'll make an exception.

Sasquatch, you do have a lot of time on your hands. Thanks for the rules.

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

Watch it, Sas, anon@11:45 (anondion?) is gonna tell on you.

Posted by: epony | August 21, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Twin boys. Ricky now has almost half of Menudo 2018.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 21, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse

"'Anonymous' seems to be suffering from the passive-aggressive disorder complicated by deep feelings of smallness skewed by bitterness. There are also indications of anti-social tendencies. I recommend a daily trip to Mr Hasselhoff's Social Networking web site for theraputic sessions and regular visits to my own couch." - thus sayeth Hasselhoff's Nip-n-Tuck doctor, who also does a little analysis on the side

Posted by: Curmusgeon passes this on | August 21, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

for you Dorkus, I'll make an exception.

Posted by: hodie | August 21, 2008 11:53 AM

***************************************

Thanks hodie, I was getting a little worried there

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Aw, guys. Lay off the anonymi. While I don't appreciate people posting complaints when they would be better served by either 1) offering a change in topic of conversation or 2)leaving said conversation, I don't think we should hold lack of tagline against them.

I feel that we have attacked anon at 10:24 unjustly.

If others don't have the intense craving for attention that I know I do (hence the common tagline- I want credit, man), they should not be pressured into supplying a name.

That being said, for those of you that frequently post complaints- seriously, no one likes a whiner. Try to bring something to the table you'd rather talk about or don't talk at all.

Posted by: Sully's opinion | August 21, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

epony, I love anondion! That brings to mind some weird sh*t you just can't figure out.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Why do I suspect that the Stampede beer might smell better than Jessica's "Fancy" perfume?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 21, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

My apologies Dorkus. No personal offense was intended.

I really wish there was some registration requirement for the blog chatting. Seriously, who gets a kick out of posting stuff from otehr blogs here? It's pathetic.

Posted by: EricS | August 21, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse


Be smart, drink smart and Jessica Simpson?!!

Given the look on her face and the fact that it's Jessica Simpson, it's trying to be ironic, right?

Posted by: Sully | August 21, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and Lilo had better keep the hell away from Phelps. That dirty, foul-mouthed hussy.

[cue luvlinsey]

Posted by: Sully's means bidness | August 21, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

epony, I love anondion! That brings to mind some weird sh*t you just can't figure out.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 12:02 PM
==========================================

Yes indeedy, jes and epony. That's a new entry into the Glossary.

Posted by: Mudge | August 21, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous@11:45 we're all posting anonymously, but its nice to be able to attribute posts. You say you're a regular, but how do we know and now with some moron (yes I'm name calling, they deserve it) cutting and pasting posts from the OP blog, all anonymous posts just kind of blend in.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

I hope LiLo is careful, we don't want her passing on Phelps Fever to Samantha Ronson.

But seriously, why do all male swimmers look goofy to me. Some of my best friends were swimmers in high school, and they are amongst some of the oddest looking people I know. Of course them they strip down to the speedos and the girls go ga-ga over them.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Michael Phelps, has anyone seen this?

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/The-mystery-of-Michael-Phelps-missing-father?urn=oly,102215

I was just wondering this myself.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

A Verne Troyer reality TV Show! Can't some network buy this NOW?

I already have a working title:

Little Person/Big Weird

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | August 21, 2008 10:23 AM
************************************

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: Magnolia | August 21, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Michael Phelps, has anyone seen this?

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/The-mystery-of-Michael-Phelps-missing-father?urn=oly,102215

I was just wondering this myself.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 12:15 PM


i wouldnt post stuff about athletes on this blog. some of the regular commentators will bite your head off like they did when people started posting about soccer players.

Posted by: be careful! | August 21, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

i wouldnt post stuff about athletes on this blog. some of the regular commentators will bite your head off like they did when people started posting about soccer players.

Posted by: be careful! | August 21, 2008 12:21 PM

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

I think its safe, since he is mentioned in the Morning Mix.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

wait, i thought we liked pictures of soccer players?

Posted by: lurker not a poster but ready to stop lurking | August 21, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

I'm with Sully about the Anonymi. Of course, the ones who want show up and expect the MAJORITY to change to conform to them, need to go find the political blog.

Celebrities -- man, have none of them heard of birth control? One comment I heard on tv about the Martin twins, "does it cost more to get twins?" Fine, it was a moron who said it, but it was funny. Does the surrogacy contract cover the contingency it might be multiples?

Posted by: ep | August 21, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

sunnydaze - my standard response to "when are you having another kid?" is "when science fails me."

And I'll miss you guys, but I do have to take my leave of this blog. It is not for the reasons cited by anon yesterday. I'll soon be attempting to educate the middle-schoolers of a certain Central Virginia County, and will no longer have the free time to snark with you all. It's been fun!

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 21, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

We'll miss you RCR! Good luck!

Posted by: clw | August 21, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Sheesh, even Bai Ling gets a job on Lizard Island and I can't even catch a cab.

RCR, no! Now I'm even sadder. Best wishes.

Posted by: td, *sniff* | August 21, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Hey RCR, check in on your "off" days. Meanwhile, we'll miss your "real and spectacular" attributes. Good luck with middle schoolers. I found them to be the toughest age group to teach. Something about raging hormones.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 21, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

RCR-as a parent of a middle schooler in a (perhaps the same) certain Central Virginia county, have a great school year.

Posted by: kate07 | August 21, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

Teaching is the most difficult job there is.

I admire people who choose to get into the classroom and make a difference.

God Bless You, RCR, and hang in there.

(Maybe you could teach them how to spell properly when posting to a blog and how to enjoy a bowl of Ramen now and then.)

The Island now seems to have an opening for a Chief Priest - ya wanna be that, td?

Posted by: Curmudgeon loves the smell of chalk and crayons in the morning | August 21, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

RCR, please stop by when you can! We'll miss you and thanks for becoming a middle school teacher. When my kids were in middle school they became like pod people...I didn't know them anymore. Their teachers were god-sends.

Posted by: methinks | August 21, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Michael Phelps, has anyone seen this?

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/The-mystery-of-Michael-Phelps-missing-father?urn=oly,102215

I was just wondering this myself.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 12:15 PM

How unfortunate for him to be name Fred. Fred Phelps is the nut case that protests at AIDS victims' funerals.

No wonder why he's stayed out of the spotlight.

Posted by: Mz Fitz | August 21, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

We'll miss you RCR, just remember middle schoolers can smell fear and they attack in packs. No wait, that might be hyenas, either way don't show signs of weakness and keep the tranquilizer gun handy.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Wait wait wait, size does matter? Great now I'm going to get a complex. Does personality make up for any short comings?

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 11:33 AM
*************
Just my two cents worth but yes, size is ..helpful.. but personality never shrinks.

Also props to EricS who stepped up immediately to squash the evil, 'more than a mouthful is a waste' rumor. It's nice to hear an encouraging word.

Posted by: methinks | August 21, 2008 12:56 PM | Report abuse

It's cool. I am inconsistent poster but have no job. But, I am kinda lazy and spend a lot of time at my current job getting yelled at (lawyer). So, I'm down being an unemployed celebritologist :)

As for the mix, I'm geekily happy if Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are back together. I never even saw The Notebook, but they were cute together. No, I don't even know them. :)

Posted by: Sigh | August 21, 2008 12:58 PM | Report abuse

Best of Luck RCR, we'll all slurp a noodle to you at the bar.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Good luck RCR! Drop some geography knowledge on them in memory of my teaching career!

Posted by: Mz Fitz gets a little bummed this time of year. | August 21, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

ok, i realize that just looks and sounds wrong.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

RCR, it's called "revew pages x to y." While the little angels (?) are reading, you can post. You just gotta be creative to get time to be here.

Posted by: ep | August 21, 2008 1:04 PM | Report abuse

Kate07 I'm not sure of my school yet, but if your kid gets a first year teacher with a French last name, it could be me! I'll see about working proper posting etiquette into English lessons. But if it isn't on the SOL's, I probably can't cover it.

Thanks for the well-wishes. I remember how miserable I was as a middle-school student, hopefully being a teacher will be less miserable. I'll drop by when I can.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 21, 2008 1:05 PM | Report abuse

RCR, it's called "revew pages x to y." While the little angels (?) are reading, you can post. You just gotta be creative to get time to be here.

Posted by: ep | August 21, 2008 1:04 PM

*****************************************

That's why ep is our favorite lawyer, always on the lookout for loopholes.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

RCR, did you do the U of R career switcher program?

Posted by: Mz Fitz | August 21, 2008 1:08 PM | Report abuse

Hey RCR,

Take a tip I learned from "Coach." Never too late to pick up a 16mm film from the A/V library. Beats making a lesson plan.

Posted by: Elias Howe | August 21, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

RCR we'll def. miss you. I'll ogle a soccer player on your behalf...

PS I have never felt maligned by my fellow islanders for my soccer obsession so ye other athletic oglers, jump in the waters fine!

Posted by: LTL - love me some cannavaro | August 21, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

No, Ms. Fitz - using my undergrad and taking classes through VCU. I'll be a Special Education teacher, and UR doesn't offer that cert.

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 21, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

You're really leaving us, RCR? No-o-o-o!!! Sniff, sniff. Hope you keep up your needlework chops (can someone post a link to your bookmark?), and please get back to us during those interminably boring teacher in-service days.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

When our family group is watching the Oly's, whenever the Mom is shown on the screen we all yell out in unison "There's Mama!" in our best down home accents.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 1:33 PM | Report abuse

When our family group is watching the Oly's, whenever the Mom is shown on the screen we all yell out in unison "There's Mama!" in our best down home accents.


Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 1:33 PM

=======================================

Huh.

Imagine that.

Posted by: Curmudgeon likes a good time, too | August 21, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

ok, i realize that just looks and sounds wrong.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:02 PM
********

I've got a little summer cold/flu bug so am a little light-headed but what does the above comment refer to? (Or is that, 'to what does the above comment refer?'...head hurts..lying down...)

Posted by: methinks | August 21, 2008 1:40 PM | Report abuse

Here ya go methinks:

Best of Luck RCR, we'll all slurp a noodle to you at the bar.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:00 PM

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 1:47 PM | Report abuse

I think my atheism/Pastafarianism have to go back in the closet now... Some people 'round these parts may not take kindly to a Godless heathen teaching their kids.

And to bring it back to Celebrities, I've been watching a lot of "how-to" teaching movies. Half-Nelson, Lean On Me, Freedom Writer, that one with Edward James Olmos...

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 21, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

RCR, I would also suggest 'The Substitute', just to keep things lively.

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

RCR, I hope you can use the many lessons learned for Celebritology to help your students:

-If you are going to drink, take a cab.
-A mug-shot is not something to aspire to.
-If you do something dumb in public, it will be posted on Youtube and people will make snarky moments about it.
-Beware of the John Mayer type.
-Beware of the Paris Hilton type.

Good Luck

Posted by: Lisa1 | August 21, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

I could never fill RCR's shoes as Chief Priest, Curmudgeon. (Besides, I'm not generally one to accept hand-me-downs.) Thanks anyway.

Posted by: td will just sit alone in the dark thanks | August 21, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

enough with the tributes to RCR. he/she is an anonymous poster whom you've never met. sheesh.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

There is a real MMM (Mean Mommy Marathon!) going on over on OP.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

What was that bad movie from the late 80s/early 90s, "Teachers"? I'm seeing Nick Nolte, Judd Hirsch (enough said) and, oddly, Ralph Macchio? It's a blur.

Posted by: td also liked *stand and deliver* | August 21, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

enough with the tributes to RCR. he/she is an anonymous poster whom you've never met. sheesh.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 2:01 PM


How can you be so sure?

Posted by: I have met some blog people! | August 21, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

Here ya go methinks:

Best of Luck RCR, we'll all slurp a noodle to you at the bar.

Posted by: jes | August 21, 2008 1:00 PM

Posted by: Dorkus | August 21, 2008 1:47 PM
****************
Now I get it...thanks Dorkus

Posted by: methinks says thanks! | August 21, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

There is a real MMM (Mean Mommy Marathon!) going on over on OP.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 2:02 PM

I'm sure you're the one instigating it.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

I'm being given priase for liking big shoes.

Will wonders ever cease?

Good luck RCR. Middle school *shudder*

Posted by: EricS | August 21, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

"Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys"

Well that story turned out less salacious than I thought.

Posted by: Mike | August 21, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

I watched Half Nelson this week. It's a pretty good story about what not to do.

Stand by Me, great movie. Unfortunately, in real life, those kids didn't pass.

Don't be a slave to the test, you'll be great!

Posted by: Mz Fitz | August 21, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

"To Sir With Love" or "Blackboard Jungle" (both with Sidney Poitier).

Posted by: Nosy Parker to RCR | August 21, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

"Kindergarten Cop"?

Posted by: Nosy Parker | August 21, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

Kenneth,
I read your story about the closeted actor who raped a former boyfriend. All of the names listed were wrong, it was actually Will Smith. You and Page 6 were wrong about some of the other details as well. The former boyfriend did report Will to the Lost Hills Sherrifs Department. The payoff was done to keep him from pressing charges. The charges were indeed dropped. The former boyfriend also needed surgery because his anus had a small split called a fisure after the incident.

To set the record straight, it wasn't rape, it was more of rough play that the two played on many occasions. It got out of hand and Will didn't stop. He's not a rapist but he and his wife both live a life filled with lies. They don't have sex with each other or in thier home. They live in Hidden Hills but they have a seperate home in nearby Agoura Hills just for sex with others. If this world were more accepting of gay people, I think Will and Jada would be living happy, honest lives with other people. On a final note, I was one of Will's boyfriends for a while. I think we all get a max of 4 months and then he moves on.
source: http://www.kennethinthe212.com/2008/08/in-box.html

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 3:10 PM | Report abuse

Hey Nosy--See you got a shout out from Liz on the chat today--am filled with curiousity!

Good luck with the new gig RCR. Hope you manage to return occasionally!

Not strictly a teacher movie, but I loved Akeelah and the Bee and the standards Lawrence Fishburne demanded from his pupil and himself.

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

.............da *bleep?!

What in the world brought that up? re: Anon at 3:10

Posted by: EricS | August 21, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

And here I thought the Scientology thing was the creepiest thing about WS. (not that I find gay people creepy...)

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 21, 2008 3:21 PM | Report abuse

not that I find gay people creepy...)

...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Good luck, RCR, you provide some quality snark and you will be missed.

Posted by: jake e. poo | August 21, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

"Up the Down Staircase"

Posted by: td suggests one more movie for rcr | August 21, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Re: the breeding frenzy in Hollywood, science has failed us all.

Thanks RCR for the insight(s) and have a good year. Have faith that your zingers will whip...I mean, snap, I mean, get those middle schoolers into shape. Visit us during "breaks."

Posted by: jsk | August 21, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

To set the record straight, it wasn't rape, it was more of rough play that the two played on many occasions. It got out of hand and Will didn't stop. He's not a rapist but he and his wife both live a life filled with lies. They don't have sex with each other or in thier home. They live in Hidden Hills but they have a seperate home in nearby Agoura Hills just for sex with others. If this world were more accepting of gay people, I think Will and Jada would be living happy, honest lives with other people. On a final note, I was one of Will's boyfriends for a while. I think we all get a max of 4 months and then he moves on.
source: http://www.kennethinthe212.com/2008/08/in-box.html

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 3:10 PM


not that surprising. unless you also think that geigh-ken, ricky martin, james franco, and jake gylenhall are straight as well.

Posted by: ummm | August 21, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

Okay, so those posts about Will Smith are the proverbial big bucket of cold water over the blog.

um, yay for the U.S. Women's Soccer team?

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 4:06 PM | Report abuse

Okay, so those posts about Will Smith are the proverbial big bucket of cold water over the blog.

um, yay for the U.S. Women's Soccer team?

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 4:06 PM

well who wouldnt be stunned after reading what will did!

Posted by: anon | August 21, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

I agree anon--just wanted to apply a defibrillator!

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

Next time, use a better dictionary, lest you appear to be a used bottle of Summer's Eve.


Posted by: NHTSA | August 21, 2008 4:19 PM


Hey dont make fun of reusing feminine products. I do that all the time!

Posted by: Cecilia | August 21, 2008 4:33 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | August 21, 2008 4:41 PM | Report abuse

(Hey, guys, this is the part of the blog where we comment on the items in the Morning Mix, remember? For example:)

"Sheryl Crow . . . is offering a free download of her politically charged tune "Gasoline" to anyone who logs onto the Rock the Vote Web site or anyone on the group's mailing list."

Well with that incentive, how can I resist? Earth to Sheryl: Your relevance ended around the time you released that lame song with Kid Rock. Fourteen minutes and counting. Even Lance Armstrong doesn't care.

As for all the pregnancy news on this blog, I think Liz is caught up in the media obsession with reporting on every celebrity's successful fertilization efforts. Is this actually "news"? The birth, sure (congrats M/M Matt Damon).

Announcing a brand-new pregnancy seems a bit like a public declaration of having done the deed -- sure, you're happy about it, but TMI already. Call me when you've delivered and I'll send a gift. Until then, spare me the details.

Posted by: td | August 21, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

td, I totally concur. If I read one more comment/article about how Kerry Walsh and Misty May want babies, are going to immediately get pregnant after the Olympics, will hopefully be pregnant a year from now, ad nauseum, I'm going to hurl. Enough already.

Posted by: hermespal | August 21, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Absolutely, hermespal. I have to admit I'm surprised by their success with all that went on prior to the Games. I figured they weren't going in with their best team. So, yay to the US women's soccer team!

td, what kind of Island job do you want? Just give yourself a title and let 'Mudge know. (Personally, the last thing I want is another job, even a make-believe one. I just want to lay about on the make-believe beach every once in awhile. Maybe pet frankie when she frolics by.)

Posted by: alex | August 21, 2008 4:59 PM | Report abuse

Hey dont make fun of reusing feminine products. I do that all the time!

Posted by: Cecilia | August 21, 2008 4:33 PM

GAK!
thats disgusting!

Posted by: splerda | August 21, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

Janet Jackson's "Pleasure Principle" lingerie line is inspired by her "1987 tune." Gotta love those wacky 80s! Let's relive them again through underwear. Janet had to go back 21 years for brand inspiration? Really?

Does this mean our future will see Madonna's development with Pfizer of a line of "Crazy for You" antidepressants or Debbie Harry "Call Me" cellphones?

Psst, Diana Ross! Call Betty Crocker and get that "Upside Down" Cake in development stat! The world is ready. Let's eat.

Posted by: td is studiously avoiding any *she-bop* promotional opportunities | August 21, 2008 5:03 PM | Report abuse

More importantly: Will "Pleasure Principle" offer "Control"-top pantyhose?

Posted by: penny gordon woods | August 21, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

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