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Posted at 11:49 AM ET, 08/ 8/2008

Nothing Comes Between Katie and Her Toms -- Except Me

By Liz Kelly

Dear Katie Holmes,

I don't know what kind of game it is you're playing with us, but wearing your husband's jeans has taken marital devotion to a whole new level of cuckoo. And not just because your husband is Tom Cruise and kookiness just kind of goes with the territory, but because he's pudgier than you, taller than you and these jeans look like they were ready for the discard pile about a year ago anyway. I know your career's kind of in remission and you pretty much blew the whole "Batman" thing, but surely TC could spring for a pair of 7s or Joe's for you.

I mean, my god (and I mean no slight to your husband's religion when I say "god" and not "Xenu"), you're about an inch of waistline away from mom jeans and the gaping button-fly alone is enough reason to trade these things in for -- well, even Lindsay Lohan's knee-padded leggings would be an improvment.

I have sat idly by while you let yourself be utterly brainwashed "swept off your feet" by TC and even -- gack -- worked with Diane Keaton in that fiasco of a movie. I tried not to scoff too loudly when rumors of a nightmarish delivery room started circulating ahead of Suri's birth. I even remained in your corner (and let me tell you, it's pretty lonely) when you started shearing your once luxurious locks ever shorter -- even when you passed the Posh-mimicking phase and moved into full-on andro territory. After all, you've got some kind of bone structure and manage to make even the plainest of cuts work.

But you've gone too far with the jeans thing. I can only imagine what else of Tom's you might be wearing. And whatever your stylist says about this being inspiration for some kind of "boyfriend jean", I'm not buying it -- literally -- or at Neiman's. Also, just a word to the wise, the baby bump patrol is starting to think your new schlumpy look is hiding Suri v. 2.0.

So, do us all a favor and get Tom out of your closet and back into his own.

Illustration by EAN for

By Liz Kelly  | August 8, 2008; 11:49 AM ET
Categories:  TomKat  
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What am I missing? Katie's taller than Tom, but when she wears his pants, she has to roll them up? That makes no sense.
I'm 5"9", my husband is 5'7" and when I wear his pants, I'm ready for the next flood.
Oh I'm so confused....

Posted by: lurker not a poster | August 8, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

I dunno, Liz. The pegging is strange, but I kind of like seeing a gal who doesn't mind stepping out in something comfy. Why should she wear painted-on jeans with a $200 (or more) pricetag, when she looks just fine in the baggies? Again, without the pegging and rolling. That has got to stop.

Posted by: WDC | August 8, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Don't agree. She looks fine, for a Saturday afternoon. And why is this main post material? It's not like she's flashing her hoo-ha. I for one am not a fan of VPL on anyone.

Posted by: CoHi | August 8, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

This ought to keep away the Paris-haters and Paris-ites today.

Posted by: Red Dragon | August 8, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

All I can say is that I'd love to look that good in ANY pair of jeans.

Posted by: Sappho | August 8, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

"I'm 5"9", my husband is 5'7" and when I wear his pants, I'm ready for the next flood. Oh I'm so confused...."

It's simple: it's a matter of torso length vs leg length. I am 5'8", but am mostly all torso (pants inseam 30"). My sister-in-law is the same height as me but takes a 36" inseam because she is all legs!

Posted by: CJB | August 8, 2008 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, but Tom's not all legs....or torso.

Posted by: b | August 8, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Until I saw yesterday's post about this, I would have assumed 'pegging' was something that Captain Ahab would have had to pay extra for.

Posted by: byoolin | August 8, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

Actually, I thought pegging was something else entirely...but then I read Dan Savage's advice column, too!

Posted by: CJB | August 8, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

I have to say I agree with Liz. There is room between stepping out in something comfortable and that baggy mess.

Posted by: bahston | August 8, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

That illustration does not do justice to the eye-searing wash that is actually on the pair of jeans.

Posted by: BG | August 8, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

The headline alone was enough to cause me to reach for the brain bleach.

Man, how much is scientology charging for the brain washing of Katie? Or is it gratis because of the good works Tom has done for them? Hahahahaaha. I crack myself up.

Posted by: ep | August 8, 2008 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Women wearing men's jeans isn't the issue, it's how badly those jeans fit her. Surely someone in their Scientology circles can tailor that particular pair. Is that also his belt she's wearing, by the way?

And I also don't get why this is worthy of a special post. I mean, it's not like he's wearing her shoes. Does he call her Levi or Wrangler or Toughskin behind closed doors? What's the big deal here?

Posted by: td | August 8, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

why all the hate on katie? she's not hurting anyone. she's obviously happy doing whatever she's doing. why the need to criticize her hair, her clothes, and career choices? its ridiculous. if we want to criticize someone, lets attack paris or lindsay or shia for their inept and criminal behavior!

Posted by: katie fan | August 8, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

Do Tom and Katie trade off their wardrobes? Does Tom wear Katie's bras? For the record, Katie is a mom, so why not Mom (TM) jeans?

If it was trendy to snark at short, buxom redheads with tattoos, a certain host would be in trouble.

Posted by: Mens Wear Dept, Tysons Corner | August 8, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

I saw a woman in Whole Foods yesterday who had pegged her jeans, so maybe it's catching on. As long as it isn't obscene, I usually don't mind what celebrities or anyone else wears.

Posted by: SaraBeth | August 8, 2008 12:27 PM | Report abuse

Liz, love her though we do, seems to have a weird obsession with pants. Pantless chatting, pleat-hating, and now this.

I agree, td. Call me when someone spots Tom in Katie's Jimmy Choos. (Is that what the kids are wearing? Jimmy Choos? I'm old.)

Posted by: WDC | August 8, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

What am I missing? Katie's taller than Tom, but when she wears his pants, she has to roll them up? That makes no sense.
I'm 5"9", my husband is 5'7" and when I wear his pants, I'm ready for the next flood.
Oh I'm so confused....

Posted by: lurker not a poster | August 8, 2008 11:56 AM

She's probably rolling them to make it look like they're short on purpose - like she wanted them that way - instead of just being her short husband's hand-me-downs. Lose-lose situation to me. And I had such high hopes for Katie in her (our) younger days.

Imagine if Nicole Kidman had tried to wear his jeans. Oh the horror!

Posted by: Em | August 8, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

Now, wait a minute.

Is Katie wearing men's (boy's) jeans or a pair of Tom's cast-offs? (eeeeeeew)

Get the Trojan Lizard gassed-up and grab the rescue ladder. The Commandos need to effect a rescue of Katie from that life of weirdness.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 8, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Looks like a slow day, both at the office and on Lizard Island. Perhaps my mention of Lizard island will flush out a couple of trolls from under the bridge.

Posted by: Sasquatch | August 8, 2008 12:36 PM | Report abuse

She grows old, she grows old...

I don't think those pants are Tom's cast offs. They look way too big for him.

Posted by: epony | August 8, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

I'm mosty horrified by the pegging. She shouldn't be doing it. Why not just roll them? Or are they tapered -- the horror --and that's how they come out when you just roll them? Anyway, pegging the jeans is bad enough, but she hasn't even done it WELL. Tom was around in the 80's. He should at least show her how to REALLY peg them. Help her out a little!

And what's with the fuschia sweater and red shoes? Ick.

Posted by: Fruitfly | August 8, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

I actually don't think she looks that bad in the photo link. The pegging is a bad idea. But, overall, the look isn't awful. She looks comfortable. We don't all need to be wearing skin tight, hoo-ha and tramp stamp bearing jeans every day. Some days, don't you just want to feel comfy? I know I do.

Posted by: Ebeth | August 8, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

What a ridiculous look. And what a ridiculous "trend." Wear your own clothes honey.

Posted by: doobrah | August 8, 2008 1:03 PM | Report abuse

Doesn't Katie seem to be morphing into TC...or at least into a guy? Shorter hair, guy's jeans. Hmmmmmmm

Posted by: Lime | August 8, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

We need to call Stacey London and Clinton Kelly stat! That outfit is definitely 'What Not to Wear'. Unfortunately Nick won't be able to bring back the luxurious locks.

Posted by: jes | August 8, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

I think this is main post material because she's worn a variation on this outfit in the last few weeks more than a few times which is a no-no in celeb-land. Not to mention its supreme horribleness. :p

If she weren't wearing a baggy shirt, she'd practically be showing her hoohah. That's why she's rolled the jeans, cause they're hanging pretty low there sister.

Posted by: Bored @ work | August 8, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

"We need to call Stacey London and Clinton Kelly stat! That outfit is definitely 'What Not to Wear'. Unfortunately Nick won't be able to bring back the luxurious locks." --jes

Good idea, jes. Before Carmindy gives Katie the "simple two-minute makeup regimen" that uses about 80 products, Davy Jones, er, Nick, can just hair-extension Katie out. She'll be back to Dawson's Creek in no time.

Posted by: td admits he watches WNTW | August 8, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, but Tom's not all legs....or torso.

Posted by: b | August 8, 2008 12:11 PM

...or there.

Really, what kind of deal did they make her? Is it like a 10-year (well, just under) multimillion dollar sports contract, with a kid or two tossed in?

Posted by: jsk | August 8, 2008 1:44 PM | Report abuse

"Imagine if Nicole Kidman had tried to wear his jeans. Oh the horror!"

Posted by: Em | August 8, 2008 12:28 PM

Would this be "Owe, the humanity!" worthy?

Posted by: e tries to play with the big lizards | August 8, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

OK, jes, this is too funny. Not only does CNN have a story on Katie Holmes' hair, but also it includes a quote from Stacy London! Who likes the new 'do.

Posted by: td thinks jes is prescient | August 8, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

The New Kids on the Block have a hit single, and now pegged jeans are back?! What's next, Hammer pants?

Posted by: musicgeek | August 8, 2008 2:26 PM | Report abuse

I've been waiting to wear my jellie shoes again for years!

Posted by: RiverCityRoller | August 8, 2008 2:37 PM | Report abuse

I was in Rome last week. For fun, I breezed through some of the designer boutiques. There's no easy way to say this kids: I saw a LOT of Hammer pants out there. Lots.

Posted by: other liz | August 8, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Someone described Katie's new haircut as a 'pixie' cut. It is not. I know from pixie cuts and her hair isn't short enough. Think Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby.

For what it's worth, I like the shorter hair on her, but she needs to ditch TC as her primary accessory.

Posted by: B'More Cat and Pixie Lover | August 8, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Why are Katie's jeans rolled up?

Because if she didn't roll them we'd all be able to see how short Tom Cruise really is, because we'd see the hemline hit somewhere above her ankle instead of below the ankle where women's jeans normally fall.

Posted by: Anonymous | August 8, 2008 3:09 PM | Report abuse

all I can say is I ROCKED the baggy-button-fly-pegged-leg-jeans + super short hair in 1987. Time to bush off the mothballs and pull out the Culture Club vinyls!!

Posted by: hoo chick | August 8, 2008 3:11 PM | Report abuse

What does Robin Gihvan think?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | August 8, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

She may be half-way to brainwashed and her husband might be a loon...but i like the jeans on Kat(i)e.

Posted by: Omaha | August 8, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

Does this mean it's time to break out the Z Cavaracci's and the B.U.M. Equipment and I.O.U. sweatshirts?

Surely a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Posted by: M Street | August 8, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

Not only did I peg my jeans, I used to roll down my socks. But what is junior high school for, if not to shatter every law of fashion and provide painful memories of your own obliviousness?

Posted by: The less said about Bawlmer's prediliction ffor plaid, the better. | August 8, 2008 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Just above the 'Post a Comment' box of the Washington Post it states: "User reviews and comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site." I find this ironic in that your entire article is nothing but one big personal attack of Katie Holmes. I think your article should be removed! Every article you write involving Katie or Tom is scathing - you obviously HATE them - I assume you only tone it down in an attempt to make your opinions appear to be based on rational observation rather than the strong, deep hate and bigotry that you actually harbor. From where I sit, you appear to be a hater with an agenda, Liz.

Posted by: Gary | August 9, 2008 12:08 AM | Report abuse

Liz Kelly, Gary's right: it *does* say that stuff right above the comments box.

Please take out the offensive language and let us know when you do: there'll be a mad rush to take advantage of the opportunity to show this Gary fellow the full depth and breadth of unpleasant epithetry at Celebritologists' disposal.

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I think it is a princess Di at the Taj Mahal thing. She is in NY w/out her hubby and she is trying to communicate that she is trapped wearing the pants in the family. Or something.

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