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Celebritology 2.0: September 7, 2008 - September 13, 2008

Friday List: Line in the Sanz

If your sister was engaged to, let's say, George Clooney, I suspect there would be a strong temptation to try to work this into every conversation. For instance, when making plans, you might say, "Hey, let's go see 'Burn After Reading,' that new Clooney movie. Did you know he's engaged to my sister?" Or if someone was talking about how much they liked "Dark Knight," you might respond that your favorite superhero movie is "'Batman and Robin,' the one with George Clooney, my future brother-in-law, as Batman." Or if you broke your foot, you might tell the doctor "Do you know who else has feet? George Clooney, my sister's fiancé, who once played a doctor on TV." On the other hand, when news came down last month that Lindsay Lohan's dad Michael was engaged, my first thought was: "If Michael Lohan's intended was my sister, I would tell no one...

By Paul Williams  | September 12, 2008; 10:55 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (71)
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Morning Mix: America at War With Mean Girls

Headlines: America has spoken, and she doesn't like "Gossip Girl," "The Hills," ... Lauren Conrad gets three-book deal; unclear if that means to write three or read three ... Sir Paul to carry on with first show in Israel, despite opposition...Australia grants visa to Snoop, as long as he gets help first ... Two thumbs down for attack on Roger Ebert ... Laila Ali delivers future heavyweight title contender...Janet Jackson a big "Tron" fan? Crime Watch: Video of Kanye's airport flip out...DMX stuck in prison revolving door. Rumor Mill: Tara Reid not getting married...Balthazar Getty still married...Elisabeth Hasselbeck at odds with Barbara Walters...John Mayer linked with an ex (though that hardly narrows it down) ... Neighbors hate Olsen twins...Michael Douglas as Liberace? Bonus Video: Gina Gershon takes aim at Sarah Palin. (One bad word, possibly NSFW) See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die --Guest Celebritologist Paul Williams...

By Paul Williams  | September 12, 2008; 6:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (44)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Celebrity Sports Girlfriends: Arm Candy or Booby Traps?

Cowboy Tony Romo and evil seductress Jessica Simpson. (AP) Over at The League, a panel of sports-minded men today take up the pressing question of celebrity sports girlfriends, asking: "Is it harder for a high profile football player to keep his mind on the field when he has a high profile girlfriend in the stands?" Not surprisingly, considering football's persistence in lining stadium fields with glorified Hooters chicks, some otherwise smart people seem to think a team's performance -- a product of preparation, repetition and sheer muscle -- is susceptible to feminine wiles. That's right, even the sturdiest of linebackers and smartest quarterbacks may be struck dumb when confronted with the Kryptonite that is woman. This important debate seems to have been inspired by Jessica Simpson's assertion last week on "Good Morning America" that the Cowboys (she's dating Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo) will kick the Eagles' butts. Simpson was...

By Liz Kelly  | September 11, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (61)
Categories:  Celebrities, Miscellaneous  
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Morning Mix: Nicole Kidman 'Overpaid'; Heather Mills Fired from 'Celeb Apprentice'

Headlines: Nicole Kidman named most overpaid celebrity... Oprah tops list of most generous celebs... Lynne Spears admits she isn't the perfect mom... Matt Damon says he fears a Sarah Palin administration... Meanwhile, "Gossip Girl's" Chace Crawford calls Palin "attractive"... Russell Crowe asks Australian authorities to let Snoop Dogg in... Ellen de Generes posts wedding video online... Eva Longoria says she's not pregnant, "just fat"... Kirsten Dunst says, "Now I love me"... British singer says Madonna is just "rude"... Sarah Jessica Parker latest star to succumb to big, rolled up jeans fad. Crime Watch: Anne Hathaway's ex pleads guilty to fraud charges; Hathaway opens up... Eric Carmen charged with second DUI. Rumor Mill: Heather Mills fired from "Celebrity Apprentice" before it even kicks off... Michael Douglas to play Liberace in new biopic... Tara Reid engaged!... Mariah Carey tell-all in the works... Victoria Beckham partnering with Gordon Ramsay to open L.A....

By Liz Kelly  | September 11, 2008; 7:52 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (116)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Re-Pleat Offender: Keira Knightley

As Fashion Week unfurls its yards of glamour and fantasy on New York runways this week, let us not forget that the annual gathering of fashionistas and celebs is a microcosm of personal taste-making -- good, bad and ugly. Today, I have the sad task of noting the bad. Or the ugly. Or the bad ugly. My aversion to pleated pants is generally known, so it may surprise you to learn that one Keira Knightley -- a teensy actress who some might accuse of being forever mired in the period drama treadmill because she can't hack playing contemporary (remember "My name is Domino Harvey?" Shudder.) -- had the audacity to rock pleats yesterday while attending a Fashion Week event. And, as if the pleats alone weren't enough of a below the belt no-no, Knightley further gave me -- and all of us, really -- a big wet rasberry by covering...

By Liz Kelly  | September 10, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (84)
Categories:  Fashion  
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Morning Mix: Pam Anderson Says She's Not Dating Jacko

Headlines: Lynn Spears details her selfless love for daughter Britney in new book, available next week for just $16.49... Barbra Streisand, Morgan Freeman among Kennedy Center honorees... New documentary chronicles life of Paris Hilton... Pam Anderson says she's not dating Michael Jackson, strips down to bikini for Ellen... Elisabeth Hasselbeck criticizes Michelle Obama for do-not-ask list... Victoria Beckham debuts new short 'do at Fashion Week... Lindsay Lohan says she's "really happy"... Jessica Simpson stumbles through live performance... Jonas Brothers forgive Russell Brand for virginity cracks at VMAs... Beyonce to release new album in November... Al Franken wins Minnesota Democratic Senate nomination... Josh Hartnett sues over public sex claims... Rumors of Diddy's private jet are greatly exaggerated ... Howard Stern auctioning off 22-year-old woman's virginity. Crime Watch: Anne Hathaway ex Raffaello Follieri expected to plead guilty to funds misuse today. Rumor Mill: Mariah Carey to manage herself... Usher and wife...

By Liz Kelly  | September 10, 2008; 7:44 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (83)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Celebrity Weddings: Subtle Trumps Splashy in 2008

Ellen de Generes and Portia de Rossi had only 19 guests at their August wedding. (AP) When it comes to the celebrity wedding, subtle is the new watchword. And with just a few scant months left in the year, 2008 may go down in history as the first year in recent memory in which we didn't get a major celebrity wedding over which to gawk. This People.com index of "extravagant weddings" hasn't one 2008 entry. We may actually have to content ourselves with Jenna Bush's May wedding to Henry Hager as this year's benchmark. Gah. You may not agree, recalling a fond moment spent in the pedicure chair perusing snaps from Ellen and Portia's recent nuptials, but as much as we love Ellen and Portia, they are no TomKat and a few strategically released pix of an intimate backyard gathering hardly counts as a voyeuristic jackpot. Celebrities, unless so...

By Liz Kelly  | September 9, 2008; 10:29 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (35)
Categories:  Celebrities  
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Morning Mix: Minnie Driver Delivers Son; Jacko's Undies Up for Grabs

Headlines: Minnie Driver delivers baby boy, Henry Story Driver... Jennifer Lopez will join judges for "Project Runway" season finale... Barbra Streisand to headline Obama fundraiser... Brooke Hogan on Sarah Palin: "Who's that?"... Michelle Williams taking a year off from acting... Pete Wentz says he and Ashlee Simpson aren't having twins; recalls a game of Russian roulette... Jerry O'Connell apologizes for calling pregnant wife Rebecca Romijn "huge"... 50 Cent wins right to see his son regularly... Verne Troyer sex tape hits the market. Rumor Mill: Michael Jackson's used underwear for sale to highest bidder. Ewwww.. Did Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have a dinner date?... Heather Mills shopping novel about model who marries rock star... Lil' Wayne refused to go through security at Fashion Rocks event... Ellen DeGeneres the newest face of Cover Girl?... Ashton Kutcher coaching prep school football team?... Robert De Niro's Nobu serving endangered tuna? Say What?...

By Liz Kelly  | September 9, 2008; 8:12 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (63)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comment Box: It's All About You (And Britney)

Gimme more: Britney cradles her VMA Moonmen as manager Larry Rudolph looks on. (AP) How did Britney do at last night's VMAs? -- Anonymous reader, who may in fact live with me, asking the question that's on all our minds. Thanks for asking because, as regular readers know, you can't spell Celebritology without "brit" (or "ology," but that's for another day). After last year's public immolation, the only place to go was up. And, to her credit, Brit appeared to be in full control of her musculature (a camera that followed her from dressing room to stage proved she wasn't wheeled out Hannibal Lecter style), her vocal cords and her newly-subdued image (no pink wig = good day). Sure, the pre-show skit with Jonah Hill was contrived (see clip below -- he went from "Superbad" to super bad in two short minutes) and her 20-second show opener utterly superfluous,...

By Liz Kelly  | September 8, 2008; 10:43 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (40)
Categories:  Britney Spears, Comment Box, Insta-Polls  
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Morning Mix: Spears Dominates VMAs; O.J. Trial Set to Begin

Britney Spears accepts her video of the year award from Kobe Bryant. (AP) Headlines: Britney Spears dominates Video Music Awards... (More VMAs: Red carpet fashion | Miss the show? Review the highlights with Post Rock)... Jordin Sparks defends purity rings, Jonas Brothers... Spears rehearsal video leaked online... Oprah says she'd welcome Sarah Palin after the election... Paris Hilton puts baby plans on hold... Nicolas Cage's "Bangkok Dangerous" scrapes bottom of box office barrel... George Clooney dines with Italian prime minister... Jessica Simpson performs at the Grand Ole Opry... Angelina Jolie-ish doll sells for $3,500... Former publicist says Heather Mills is a gold digger, liar, witch, etc... Tommy Lee Jones sues "No Country for Old Men" makers for $10 million. Crime Watch: Jury selection to begin in O.J. Simpson robbery case... Police say Gary Coleman hit man with truck in Utah (the only possible response). Rumor Mill: Ashlee Simpson and...

By Liz Kelly  | September 8, 2008; 7:15 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (103)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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