Network News

X My Profile
View More Activity
Posted at 11:13 AM ET, 09/ 2/2008

Campaign Watch: Diddy Obama Blog No. 16

By Liz Kelly

When Diddy talks, some people listen. Then some people laugh. (Image courtesy YouTube/Bad Boy Records)

Regrettably, we missed the first 15 installments of Diddy's election season instructions to his minions. I'll be sure to catch up just as soon as I finish reading the archived musings of Courtney Love and watching Rosie O'Donnell's 2,992,342,101* stylist's chair video confessional. However, considering our recent debates on the relative merits of politically outspoken celebs, I was sure you'd want to get in on Diddy's counsel at this crucial moment in the race for the White House.

Listen, we've heard what the usual suspects of opinion-making have to say and while Ruth Marcus does make a point, she doesn't really drop enough F-bombs to connect with me, the average voter. So, all I'm saying is give Diddy a chance. He's brushed aside distracting old-school devices -- like quoting from factual accounts or knowing the difference between North and South Korea in favor of telling it like it is.

Or wait, maybe he does have a fact or two:

"Alaska? There aren't even no crackheads in Alaska."

In your face, McCain! Yet again, Diddy has revealed your true nature: a behind-the-times fuddy duddy who inhabits a world defined by seven luxury homes, private jets and a serious lack of crackheads. (It is merely implied, of course, that Barack Obama's own VP choice -- Joe Biden -- is well-versed in crackheads. We've all driven through Wilmington, after all.)

Here's a link to the actual video, but considering the number of times he drops the F-bomb (at least 10), you might want to forego the experience and allow me to paraphrase:

Hi John McCain, my name is Diddy and I'm inexplicably taping this while on some kind of merry-go-round. In case you haven't heard of me, it's probably because you're more familiar with my "government name": Sean Combs.

I need to tell you something and I think the setting, low production values and continued barrage of F-bombs lend my argument a kind of heft you just won't get from other noted political commentators.

About that whole Sarah Palin thing: You are buggin' the [common expletive used to describe intercourse] out. Allow me to repeat that several times over the span of this four-minute video. It only makes it truer every time I say it.

I don't know what planet you are on, but clearly it isn't the same gold-encrusted one I inhabit because, in case you didn't realize it you may find yourself the leader of the free world come January and although I love you guy and want you to live to 110, well, you're old and accidents happen and, well, I don't know if we're ready for a president from Alaska. You should've asked Michelle Obama to be your running mate. Then maybe I would've mobilized my nation of "all youths" to vote for you.

That is all. Now I need to hop back on my private jet and head to San Tropez.

---

* Not the actual number. I'm sure I underestimated.

By Liz Kelly  | September 2, 2008; 11:13 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: Helen Mirren Says She 'Loved' Cocaine; Makes Critical Date Rape Remarks
Next: Morning Mix: Lindsay Lohan Calls Palin Controversy 'Distracting'

Comments

Lets all remember to be kind and gentle when posting on this blog. No criticizing people or making mean comments about them. We don't want to get people upset!

Hugs!

Posted by: Nancy | September 2, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Yes but what does Kanye West think about the election?

Posted by: sjcpeach | September 2, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

I think you've revealed a unique talent, Liz. I think you should offer your services to Diddy as translator and PR person. He would have so much more credibility, and be much funnier, if the world saw him through your eyes.

Posted by: other liz | September 2, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Liz sez:

(It is merely implied, of course, that Barack Obama's own VP choice -- Joe Biden -- is well-versed in crackheads. We've all driven through Wilmington, after all.)
-------------------------------------------

SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!!


DAMMIT, LIZ!!!! That was a BRAND NEW keyboard, too.


Posted by: Sasquatch cleans up the mess | September 2, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

Now, Liz, you just reported last week that Diddy isn't taking private jets because of the high price of gas. The poor dear has to fly commercial now. What is this world coming to when a celebrity is forced to fly commercial. We need to elect someone who will ensure low gas prices to keep celebrities from being forced to go through the same airport torture as the rest of us.

Wouldn't the lack of crackheads in a state be a good thing?

Posted by: ep | September 2, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

I wonder what does Diddy propose to do about the lack of crackheads in Alaska.

Posted by: petal | September 2, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

If we all smoked salmon instead of crack, the world would be a better place.

Posted by: sorry couldn't help myself, hodie | September 2, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

Mmmm, smoked salmon. Even tastier if it was flipped out of a river by an actual grizzly bear.

Posted by: 23112 | September 2, 2008 12:13 PM | Report abuse

If we all smoked salmon instead of crack, the world would be a better place.

Posted by: sorry couldn't help myself, hodie | September 2, 2008 12:10 PM

That's my new motto. Thanks!

Posted by: o.l. | September 2, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Diddy, please stop helping me...really. stop.

Posted by: Obama | September 2, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I hate Diddy so much. Why won't he just go away?

Posted by: Hater of the Player and His Game | September 2, 2008 12:43 PM | Report abuse

I think Diddy just summed up what the rest of the free world has been thinking...

Posted by: He's got a point | September 2, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

If we all smoked salmon instead of crack, the world would be a better place.

Posted by: sorry couldn't help myself, hodie | September 2, 2008 12:10 PM

*****************************************

hodie, you just made my lunch look sad and pathetic.

Posted by: Dorkus | September 2, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

If only Diddy were as well-versed as Fat Joe...

Posted by: Mz Fitz | September 2, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

Me too dorkus, I would much rather have smoked salmon than the ham and cheese sandwich I packed. Not even real cheese, American slices. Yck!
We should let Helen M. in on the salmon secret. I know you are fond of her.

Posted by: hodie | September 2, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

Say what you will about the validity of Diddy's opinions ("validididdy," if you prefer), but Dude has stumbled across a very powerful campaign slogan.

I can see the billboards, t-shirts and bumper stickers now:
JOHN MCCAIN IS BUGGIN' THE F%^K OUT!

The only question remaining is whether MoveOn.org prints 'em, or McCain - mistaking the message contained therein - does.

Posted by: byoolin | September 2, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

sounds like another great SNL skit, byoolin. McCain, the ol' fuddy duddy, trying to prove he's "hip" continually misinterprets urban slang insults and attempts to use the lexicon in his addresses to intercity youth to disasterous but hilarious results.

Posted by: not a liberal, ep, but it's still funny | September 2, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

Oh, I love this video.

Alaska?!??!!?

Posted by: Sarabeth | September 2, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

If we all smoked salmon instead of crack, the world would be a better place.

Posted by: sorry couldn't help myself, hodie | September 2, 2008 12:10 PM

****

I am *so* having this printed on a T-shirt!

I would like to nominate hodie for comment of the week!

Also, I believe byoolin has just coined another new word - "validididdy" - the meaning, of course, is that state of mind wherein your random, self-agrandizing rants have validity in your own mind...

Posted by: sunnydaze | September 2, 2008 2:12 PM | Report abuse

aggrandizing - oops!

Posted by: sunnydaze fears the spelling police | September 2, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Diddy may have brain damage too!

Maybe he can run with Amy Winehouse on the Crackhouse ticket?!?!

I can see it now...

DIDDY / WINEHOUSE '08
We'll F@^k your sh!t up!

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 2:19 PM | Report abuse

Please stop attacking each other. Its bringing me to tears!

Posted by: Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:03 PM

Do you think that presenting differing information and viewpoints automatically constitutes an attack, even if it's done factually and unemotionally?

Or do you think that whoever states something first gets to go unchallenged, even if they're wrong?

Posted by: to Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:07 PM

Do you think that presenting differing information and viewpoints automatically constitutes an attack, even if it's done factually and unemotionally?

Or do you think that whoever states something first gets to go unchallenged, even if they're wrong?

Posted by: to Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:07 PM

There's one born every minute!!

Posted by: Duh! | September 2, 2008 2:10 PM

Nancy = Duh!

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 2:14 PM

Nancy is the "secret" daughter of abt and ArmyBrat...........

Posted by: LOL | September 2, 2008 2:17 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

I accept the nomination.

thanks, sunnydaze!

Posted by: hodie | September 2, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

I'm so hurt right now. I don't understand the need for people to attack me left and right on different blogs on the washington post. its mean and insensitive, and i feel like crying after seeing people villify me all over the blogs, for absolutely no reason.

Posted by: Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Have you ever commented on the substance of any of the chats where you post?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 2:43 PM

Posted by: to Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

Wow!

Who knew that Diddy (government name: Sean Coombs) was such an astute political philosopher.

Is it any wonder that yoots everywhere follow his direction.

Posted by: Curmudgeon is aghast | September 2, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

ok. That's it.

Who went and gave our Nancy a thesaurus?

("villify"?)

Posted by: Curmudgeon passes Nancy a hankie | September 2, 2008 3:33 PM | Report abuse

Dammit! Now I got a jones for smoked salmon. Curse you hodie!

Posted by: jelo | September 2, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

its mean and insensitive, and i feel like crying after seeing people villify me all over the blogs, for absolutely no reason.

Posted by: Nancy | September 2, 2008 2:40 PM

Maybe I could give Nancy a nice grammar book.

Posted by: Grammar Sheriff | September 2, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

I wonder if Nancy is the root cause of the term 'Nancy Boy'....

If not - perhaps we can add to the lexicon?

After the universal panning of her 'spirit man hands' video Heincer crawled in to bed and had herself a good Nancy.

Posted by: LTL - wonders thoughtfully if wikipedia will shed a light on this... | September 2, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Now now, lets not pick on Nancy too much. Isn't she the one who's husband had an affair with her brother?

Posted by: now now | September 2, 2008 3:51 PM | Report abuse

After the universal panning of her 'spirit man hands' video Heincer crawled in to bed and had herself a good Nancy.

Posted by: LTL - wonders thoughtfully if wikipedia will shed a light on this... | September 2, 2008 3:41 PM

Can we use that for mirth as well? As in, MoCoSnarky's comment was so funny I laughed 'til I nancied.

Posted by: jes | September 2, 2008 4:10 PM | Report abuse

good idea!

a new term for our Glossary:

nancy - to weep pitiously; as in, "MoCoSnarky's comment was so funny I laughed 'til I nancied", or " . . . Heincer crawled into bed and had herself a good nancy"

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 4:15 PM | Report abuse

Get a room already curmudgeon and sasquatch!

sheesh.

Posted by: seriously | September 2, 2008 3:17 PM

they already have - thats where sas started "whacking a mole" on curmedgeon.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 3:52 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Nancy can be also a "descriptive noun" (Grammar Police, help me out here, what is the real term for this?) as in, crybaby.

"Don't be such a Nancy!" or "Little Curmudgeon skipped home singing the taunt Nancy, Nancy boo hoo to her tenderhearted friend, Sasquatch".

Posted by: hodie | September 2, 2008 4:27 PM | Report abuse

I went back and checked them for you.

#1--Vote or Die!
It was my idea, y'all. It makes a nice tee shirt and a lovely gift idea. Include some Sean Jean underwear and make your Christmas complete.

#2--Sistah vs. Brothah!
Hmm...You know, I love the ladies, but this Barack Obama, man, that's historic. Hillary is really nice too. Just wish she'd wear a skirt once in a while, or maybe my new Sean Jean warm up suit.

#3--Iowa!
Man, it's cold in Iowa. No crackheads there, which is probably why the white people voted for my man Obama. Either that, or they watch a lot of Oprah. If you're going to spend winter in Iowa, you really need to wear one of my Sean Jean sweatshirts. They're sueded for comfort.

#4--Bill! Shut the F--- up!
And update your wardrobe with some of my Sean Jean dress shirts. It will cover your tubby belly while you spew your racist hatred.

#5--Rudy Giuliani's out.
He's not the nominee because he wore a dress to a party. If you want to be well dressed for a party, I suggest you wear my new Sean Jean Sportswear line. It will get you into any NYC nightclub, or an evening in the Hamptions, with room to pack your piece...and a flask.

#6--Is there anyone whiter than Mike Huckabee? And what kind of cracker name is Huckabee, anyway? He does know more Bible verses than my Aunt Charlene, however. He made squirrel in a popcorn popper once. Too bad he didn't have a George Foreman grill. Or my new line of Sean Jean Beef Jerky.

#7--I'm bringing a switchblade with me into the voting booth to make sure my chad is punched clean through. You should too.

#8--Hillary won New York? I guess Rudy Giuliani shot too many black people when he was mayor. None left to vote for Obama.

#9--John McCain
He's too old. He has skin cancer. White people get skin cancer. Although he has it because he was a war hero and spent time in prison. My buddies tell me time in prison means you don't see the sun. But he was in prison in Vietnam, where it's sunny all the time. Too bad I hadn't come out with my Sean Jean skincare line back then. He could have exfoliated and protected himself from harmful UVA and UVB rays.

#10--Caucuses
Does anybody understand caucuses? People show up and try to convince other people to vote for their candidate. I don't get it. I do know that if you are planning to caucus, you'll be more convincing wearing my new Sean Jean eau de cologne.

#11--Is this primary season still going on? What will it take for Hillary to give up? I have to admire that girl. Too bad she's too old for me to date. I'm inspired by her black pantsuit and I just may have to design a line of women's career wear.

#12--Obama's got it! It's about time. I hope he picks a good running mate. Too bad my friend, Martha Stewart has that prison record. I think she would have been an excellent choice. Which reminds me...Martha and I are coming out with our Sean Jean/Martha Stewart line of cookie sheets. They're great for drying out your...uh...cutting your lines of...uh...baking brownies...no...cookies! Yeah. Get em.

#13--Celebrity, my a$$!
Obama goes to Europe, once, and he's a celebrity? John McCain needs to take lessons in celebrity. I, Sean Combs, am a celebrity. Obama's never dated a movie star. He doesn't have his own clothing line. He doesn't have his own vodka. Which reminds me. While contemplating the concept of celebrity, it helps to drink like one. My recipe for the John McCain includes two shots of Ciroc and one shot of Geritol. Add a lime. Serve chilled.

#14--Michelle...
Too bad you're not single, s'all I'm sayin'. And you'd look mighty fine in my new Sean Jean line of Hillary Clinton inspired pants suits, coming soon to Macy's.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | September 2, 2008 4:29 PM | Report abuse

whats wrong with this blog? it used to be full of great and witty comments by LOTS of people, not just 2 or 3 "lizards." now, all i see are insider jokes by a couple of people. i guess people have been scared off by the cliquey nature of some of the regular posters.

Posted by: anon for this | September 2, 2008 4:30 PM | Report abuse

Nancy can be also a "descriptive noun" (Grammar Police, help me out here, what is the real term for this?) as in, crybaby.

"Don't be such a Nancy!" or "Little Curmudgeon skipped home singing the taunt Nancy, Nancy boo hoo to her tenderhearted friend, Sasquatch".

Posted by: hodie | September 2, 2008 4:27 PM
=========================================

hodie,

The problem with this definition is that "Nancy" is a well-known slang term for "friends of Cleigh". We wouldn't want any one to get a confused notion about what is being said.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 4:44 PM | Report abuse

Great job in researching and summarizing the previous entries, MoCo, but I wish Diddy would just return to training for his Olympic gold medal in the sextathalon.

Posted by: alex | September 2, 2008 4:45 PM | Report abuse

alex, Diddy is completely capable of multi-tasking, don't you think?

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | September 2, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

do you see yourself enslaved to diddy, standing in a corner naked and wearing a dog collar waiting to be called by your master...
I'm sure he has done this to other women, what are you waiting for?

Posted by: Henry | September 2, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

someone should put diddy and his CW's out of their misery...

Posted by: Henry | September 2, 2008 4:52 PM | Report abuse

Great job in researching and summarizing the previous entries, MoCo, but I wish Diddy would just return to training for his Olympic gold medal in the sextathalon.

Posted by: alex | September 2, 2008 4:45 PM

sounds like you want to be his "practice partner."

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

http://www.votetheday.com/polls/barack-obama-101/

Posted by: votetheday.com | September 2, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous @ 4:55 PM,

Your skeevy comments are getting rather tiresome, dear.

Please go home.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 5:03 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous @ 4:55 PM,

Your skeevy comments are getting rather tiresome, dear.

Please go home.


Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 5:03 PM


truth hurts, doesn't it "dear"?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 5:15 PM | Report abuse

truth hurts, doesn't it "dear"?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 5:15 PM

Posted by: is that you, chitty? | September 2, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous @ 5:15 PM,

You must work for the Bush Administration, hon.

You wouldn't know truth if it bit you on the bum.

Posted by: Anonymous Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 5:18 PM | Report abuse

Anonymous @ 5:15 PM,

You must work for the Bush Administration, hon.

You wouldn't know truth if it bit you on the bum.

Posted by: Anonymous Curmudgeon | September 2, 2008 5:18 PM


please dont share any more of what you and sas do during your private times.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 5:24 PM | Report abuse

"please dont share any more of what you and sas do during your private times."

---------------------------------------
Hmmm...written in the style of a troll-ette.

Probably Nancy's evil troll sister Chlamydia.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 2, 2008 5:35 PM | Report abuse

Might also be Bristol Palin text messaging while waiting for her wedding license in the ob-gyn's orifice.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 2, 2008 5:40 PM | Report abuse

Hey!

Do you think that "luvlinsey" is actually Bristol Palin?

(HELP. I can't get the tuneof "The Bristol Stomp" outta my head.)

Posted by: Curmudgeon strokes her chin wisely | September 2, 2008 5:44 PM | Report abuse

Are you kidding? What a waste of video space. So is this nut backing Obama? So laughable...

Posted by: S Bak | September 2, 2008 9:06 PM | Report abuse

I love how "Diddy" is demanding "black policies". Funny how the same group who demands to be treated the same actually wants to be grouped differently.

And calling McCain an "MF", classy.

If I were McCain, I'd be streaming this from the home page of my website. No commentary needed really.

Posted by: Warren | September 3, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

"Alaska? There aren't even no crackheads in Alaska." - Diddy


What is Diddy smoking? That comment holds no merit and makes no sense. What does that have to do with anything.

The scary thing is people agreeing with this nut case.

Diddy, with that reasoning you display in your video, it's scary to think you vote.

Posted by: Kathy | September 9, 2008 2:51 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
RSS Feed
Subscribe to The Post

© 2011 The Washington Post Company