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Posted at 8:32 AM ET, 09/19/2008

Morning Mix: Amid Protests, Katie Holmes Makes Broadway Debut

By Liz Kelly
Friday

Headlines: Katie Holmes makes Broadway debut; anti-Scientology protestors gather outside theater... Janet Jackson kicks off R-rated new tour... Luke Perry rules out a "90210" return... Spice Girl Mel B making fitness DVDs... Eminem's mom opens up in new memoir... Heather Mills files suit against ex-publicist.

Crime Watch: Drugs don't belong to Ryan O'Neal, says lawyer... Britney Spears driving case headed for trial.

Rumor Mill: Brangelina haven't split, says couple's rep... Paris Hilton's dogs not eaten by coyotes, says her rep... Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler allegedly get close at film festival... Pat O'Brien axed from "The Insider."

---

2008 Lizzies

Get your entries in now for the first ever Celebritology Honors Fan Art Competition. The deadline for submissions is Thursday, Sept. 25.

By Liz Kelly  | September 19, 2008; 8:32 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Catching Up With Christopher Knight
Next: Friday List: Celeb Memoirs We Wish Existed

Comments

slow news day, huh liz?

Posted by: wow | September 19, 2008 8:43 AM | Report abuse

It would have been better if Paris had been eaten by coyotes!

Posted by: Brutal | September 19, 2008 8:43 AM | Report abuse

Yep, it is actually. But we're all about quality here at Celebritology, not quantity.

The dearth of good reading will just give us all more time to craft our Fan Art submissions:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/gallery/UGC/viewgalleries.html?galleryid=f00c4a99-d567-4e60-88ad-5ad51dcbf17a

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 8:45 AM | Report abuse

"Drugs don't belong to Ryan O'Neal, says lawyer" -- yes, and if recent memory serves, Tatum was just researching a new movie role.

They should call that reality show we all want the "OH! Neals!"

Posted by: td | September 19, 2008 8:49 AM | Report abuse

Mel B's "three-disc set, Totally Fit, features a 28-day plan of aerobic and resistance workouts set to up-tempo and dance music"

I guess "Party All the Time" isn't one of the song selections. Any bets on the inclusion of Spice Girls' tunes?

Posted by: td says zig-a-zig-ah | September 19, 2008 8:52 AM | Report abuse

Memo to Janet Jackson: Stop taking your hair styling advise from Sanjaya.

Now back to thinking about my fan art submission.

Posted by: Dorkus | September 19, 2008 8:54 AM | Report abuse

"Holmes made her Broadway debut in 'All My Sons' Thursday night, and her husband Tom Cruise thought it was a knockout."

Like he's going to criticize her performance? What did you think he would say -- "I thought 'All My Sons' was a remake of that Fred McMurray show. Here all this time I thought you were playing Dodie. Huh."

Posted by: td says the lady is a tramp | September 19, 2008 8:57 AM | Report abuse

I know she's not well know here but Joanna Lumley (abfab) is threatening to resign her English citizenship if the brits kick out the Gurkas, who fought alongside the English in India.

Posted by: MGC | September 19, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

On a slow news day once COULD consider celeb commenting on italian soccer players as 'quality not quantity...' particularly if we only focus on the hot ones... In the spirit of bipartisanism I am also willing to consider frenchman Thierry Henry...

Posted by: LTL strives to be ever so helpful | September 19, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

I guess Janet didn't sing, "Let's Wait Awhile," considering the audience was "open mouthed" (!) while watching her, er, performance.

Posted by: td says talk about *good times* | September 19, 2008 9:06 AM | Report abuse

http://www.nypost.com/photos/galleries/gossip/celebp/20080918_justin_gaston/photo02.htm

Posted by: for LTL and other ladies (and guys) | September 19, 2008 9:06 AM | Report abuse

First Lynne Spears, now Mominem. Are we hoping for too much by waiting for Heather Mills' parenting book, "I Am Not A Witch"?

Posted by: byoolin likes his gruel thin. | September 19, 2008 9:07 AM | Report abuse

England is kicking Gurka's out?!? If true, that is pretty damn wretched. For those who don't know, the Gurka were Nepalese soldiers that have supported England (best remembered in WWII)- they were renown for their courage and loyalty.

And the Nepalese people are some of the most amazing, kind, and selfless people, it sucks to see the turmoil their country is going through and if England is failing to support a long time ally who has never asked for anything in return... It is just shameful.

Posted by: LTL - has met a few gurkas and they are good peeps | September 19, 2008 9:08 AM | Report abuse

I checked out the submissions for the Art contest. Who is tgreenberg?? How can anyone compete with that??? Awesome work whoever you are.

Posted by: hodie | September 19, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

Well, I guess thanks to tgreenberg my paris hilton larger than life stick figure is out...

Posted by: Osteph | September 19, 2008 9:17 AM | Report abuse

And thanks td for getting "Party All the Time" stuck in my head... that Eddie Murphy, what a siren!

Posted by: Osteph | September 19, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

"Katie Holmes makes Broadway debut; anti-Scientology protestors gather outside theater"

Free speech, baby! Something the Wacko-tologists oppose for everyone but themselves.


Unlike LTL, to the best of my knowledge I've never met a Gurkha past or present, but just on general principles I'm sending mad props to the Ab Fab Joanna Lumley:


...The actress spoke out as a test case to open the doors to Gurkhas - former servicemen with the British Army forced to live in dreadful conditions in Nepal - began at London's High Court.

Her father, Major James Lumley, fought in Burma alongside Gurkhas in the Second World War.

..."I was born in India and had to pay to belong to this country [UK]. If they despise the Gurkhas so much, they can despise me. There is something wrong here."

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 9:20 AM | Report abuse

The URL for the Joanna Lumley article didn't appear before, so let's try again:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2008/09/19/joanna-lumley-i-ll-ditch-passport-in-gurkha-row-115875-20743286

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 9:22 AM | Report abuse

Oh, gag, not again. 'Do that' out of sight. Would you take a dump in the middle of the store as well? Feed your kid before you leave home and spare us the disgusting show.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

The Mirror's site is persnickety. To get to the Lumley Loves Gurkhas article you need the slash at the end of the URL or it won't work.

As in:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2008/09/19/joanna-lumley-i-ll-ditch-passport-in-gurkha-row-115875-20743286/

Posted by: byoolin | September 19, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Is that really the kind of show LL Cool J wants to be hooked up with? I can't imagine Sears is particularly happy.

Janet Jackson...making Madona look tame. Someoen should also tell her that "playing indian" is really offensive.

Posted by: EricS | September 19, 2008 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Nosy - thanks for the additional info, it makes it worse than what I was thinking - so what they are saying is that they don't want to let in to England those soldiers who fought at England's direction on England's behalf. KNOWING that under the current Maoist regime that is ruling in Nepal, that these individuals are at best treated very badly and at worst at risk of their lives for their past support of England....

Yeah you keep training William, maybe you'll learn how to be loyal to those who fight beside you, seeing as the Queen Mummy doesn't appear to be.

HRMPF.

Sorry - I promise to stop now :(

Posted by: LTL gets fired up rather easily for the underdog... | September 19, 2008 9:29 AM | Report abuse

Uh oh, people. Brangelina's rep says they haven't split. I think we know what this means....

Posted by: jaybbub | September 19, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse

To anonymous at 9:23: to what are you referring?

Posted by: elaine | September 19, 2008 9:36 AM | Report abuse

Queen Liz,

How long does it take for a submission to be posted?

I sent mine in yesterday.

Posted by: Elias Howe | September 19, 2008 9:40 AM | Report abuse

Jaybub re: Brangolina - is it matching tattoos next (does she have any spare unmarked skin left?), photo op of them holding hands and smiling (I am not sure she smiles for photos), or is it committment renewal ceremony (uh they haven't had the first one yet)???

Posted by: LTL forgets the order | September 19, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

LTL, I don't know the order either! But with these two, the only thing that would really concern me is if we hear she's knocked up again.....

Posted by: jaybbub is also a cynic | September 19, 2008 9:52 AM | Report abuse

I know she's not well know here but Joanna Lumley (abfab) is threatening to resign her English citizenship if the brits kick out the Gurkas, who fought alongside the English in India.

Posted by: MGC | September 19, 2008 9:01 AM
***************

Don't hold your breath, MGC. I'm still waiting for Alec Baldwin (whom I actually like as an actor) to make good on his threat to move after one of his guys (Gore? Kerry?) lost an election.

Posted by: methinks | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

I hope no one minds that I removed the yards-long political rants.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Cheerios don't stain like baby barf!

Please, you just make yourself look stupid.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

I don't know the order either! But with these two, the only thing that would really concern me is if we hear she's knocked up again.....

Posted by: jaybbub is also a cynic | September 19, 2008 9:52 AM

Jaybub, how exactly does this concern you???

Posted by: inquiring minds want to know | September 19, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse


I hope no one minds that I removed the yards-long political rants.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! FOR THIS! These same posts have been crossposted to several blogs this morning already!

Posted by: Elias Howe | September 19, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Remember a Friday long ago (well, July 11, actually) when Liz Kelly asked us who should play Watson to Robert Downey, Jr.'s Holmes?

None of us said "Jude Law."

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117992486.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

Posted by: byoolin | September 19, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

I hope no one minds that I removed the yards-long political rants.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM

Not at all. In fact, could you also take out the copy and paste jobs from other chats?

Posted by: regular lizard | September 19, 2008 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Jude Law?! What is this, Starsky and Hutch casting, i.e., "we have a brunette Holmes so we need a blonde Watson"?

If so, better Jude Law -- at least he can act -- than Owen Wilson.

Posted by: td responds to byoolin | September 19, 2008 10:06 AM | Report abuse

Your piece should be up now, Elias.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 10:16 AM | Report abuse

I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....

* If you were born in and grew up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'

* Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor; spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.

* If you're total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive and next in line behind a man in his eighth decade.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and then left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a true Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.

* If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

Posted by: tom | September 19, 2008 10:19 AM | Report abuse

Thanks, Queen Liz. It is.

For all other lizards, just remember, Elias is an inventor and part-time snarker, not an artist!

Posted by: Elias Howe | September 19, 2008 10:20 AM | Report abuse

ummm, i think donatella versace needs a pedicure or SOMETHING.

blech.

http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/18/whose-scabby-feet/

Posted by: need a pedi | September 19, 2008 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Appearing on Fox last night, Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity a heartwarming story of how she asked her teenage daughters for their opinion before accepting the vp offer.

"So ask the girls what they thought and they're like, 'Absolutely, let's do this, Mom,'" Palin recounted of her daughters, Bristol and Willow.

Yet, according to the campaign-provided timeline of how Palin's selection came about, her kids only found out the big news after they were spirited from Alaska to Ohio for the announcement.


"While there, Governor Palin's children, who had been told they were going to Ohio to celebrate their parents' wedding anniversary, were told for the first time that their mother would be a nominee for Vice President of the United States of America," said the official timeline, as released by McCain's campaign last month.
Todd Palin, in a separate interview with Fox this week, also said the kids were not told about the decision until after they left Alaska.

Asked about the discrepancy, Palin spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt said: "She asked the girls to vote once they arrived in Ohio."


Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 10:25 AM

What a surprise!!! Palin is willing to lie as much as anyone else in the McCain campaign. About anything!!!!

Posted by: christine | September 19, 2008 10:27 AM | Report abuse

inquiring minds -

'cause then there'd be one more little kid embroiled in what will be an ugly mess!

Posted by: jaybbub | September 19, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

I really like Celebritology, I really do, but I miss the days when it was all about snarking celebrities and Liz Kelly didn't have to spend her time removing stupid posts that don't belong here.
By the way, Elias, you've won so far.

Posted by: methinks | September 19, 2008 10:32 AM | Report abuse

I really like Celebritology, I really do, but I miss the days when it was all about snarking celebrities and Liz Kelly didn't have to spend her time removing stupid posts that don't belong here.
By the way, Elias, you've won so far.

Posted by: methinks | September 19, 2008 10:32 AM

Ditto. Hopefully some of it ends November 5th, but somehow I doubt it.

Posted by: WDC 21113 | September 19, 2008 10:35 AM | Report abuse

Ewwwwww! Those feet are easily the grossest thing I've seen in weeks! Is there ANY part of that woman that is marginally attractive? I think not.

Posted by: jaybbub is totally grossed out | September 19, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

I love how people see this and then say something really clever like, "143 days" and choose to ingnore the rest of it (I mean it's SO obvious that he's lead the life of a true slacker!:-)

"If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review (that means he graduated from Harvard Law School), create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor (Wow, that's nothin'); spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people (Hmmm, more people in the state DISTRICT than in the entire state of Alaska), become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee (sorry, just doesn't stack up to PTA president), spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees"

Posted by: It's called denial | September 19, 2008 10:34 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 10:41 AM | Report abuse

"This tough guy actor loves playing a hero. His successful movies are violent and loaded with explosive action. He’s always been a macho bruiser so romantic scenes are scarce and that’s fine with him. He dates pretty women when he’s in the US, but he prefers to make movies that film in Europe. That’s because he feels he has more privacy there. He can do what he wants without being observed and what he wants to do is go to gay bars and pick up men. His girlfriends back in the US wish he’d commit, but he’s far too interested in male companionship." [BlindGossip]


TOTALLY VIN DIESEL!!!!!!!

Posted by: another blind item | September 19, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

"This tough guy actor loves playing a hero. His successful movies are violent and loaded with explosive action. He’s always been a macho bruiser so romantic scenes are scarce and that’s fine with him. He dates pretty women when he’s in the US, but he prefers to make movies that film in Europe. That’s because he feels he has more privacy there. He can do what he wants without being observed and what he wants to do is go to gay bars and pick up men. His girlfriends back in the US wish he’d commit, but he’s far too interested in male companionship." [BlindGossip]


TOTALLY VIN DIESEL!!!!!!!

Posted by: another blind item | September 19, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

WATCH out, New York - Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis is in town and grifting for dough.

Friends of the broke oil "heir" say that he's conned them out of money - and that when they ask for it back, he tells them to "go [bleep]" themselves or "borrows" money or art from another friend to pay them back.

Among the many people Davis is said to owe money to are:

* Carnegie Mellon heir Matthew Mellon. Sources said Davis not only got Mellon to pay an $80,000 bill at The Dorchester hotel in London, he stole an American Express card from him and rang up $110,000 in charges. Mellon has still not been paid, and an insider said he'll refer the matter to AmEx's fraud department if he's not paid within the week. Mellon declined to comment.

* David Kur, a student. Davis rang up a $100,000 tab on Kur's bookie account. When Kur asked for it back, Davis said, "[Bleep] you. I'm not going to pay. You want your money? Come get it." Kur told Page Six, "The matter is still ongoing. He's a very messed-up person. I wish I'd never met him."

* Andy Valmorbida, an art dealer. Sources said Davis stole artworks from Valmorbida and rang up credit-card bills totaling $75,000. "He has a list of around 10 credit-card numbers he uses," a source said. "None of them are his, and he uses them to fund his lifestyle." Valmorbida couldn't be reached for comment.

* Davis also owes money to the Beverly Hills Hotel (which declined to comment), pal Jared Najjar (who said, "He paid me back"), art collector Eugenio Lopez and fashion designer Max Azria.

One insider said, "Brandon is dangerous and out of control. We're worried about him. People threaten to sue him but don't because he starts crying and gets them to feel bad for him." Davis didn't return calls, but his mother, Nancy, a historic enabler, told us, "I can't imagine anyone would lend money like that. These people are friends of his, and he doesn't owe them anything."

Posted by: luvbrandon | September 19, 2008 10:49 AM | Report abuse

I hope no one minds that I removed the yards-long political rants.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 19, 2008 9:55 AM

But I'm using them to power my computer! Fifteen pages of partisan ranting translates into ninety seconds of reading Defamer!

...Okay, I'm lying. Thanks Liz (and the rest of the WaPo staff).

Posted by: Bawlmer | September 19, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

Is Brandon's mother Nancy OUR Nancy???

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

You think it's reasonable and mannerly to expect people to feed a child on a toilet? Let's try gross, unsanitary, uncomfortable.

Would you have a problem with a father taking his infant into a bathroom and bottle feeding him on a public toilet?

Posted by: Go Sarah NOT | September 19, 2008 10:40 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

I guess remove one political rant and 3 pop up in its place. Is this a spam program or does some loser really take the time to post these annoyances?

As for 90210 (because gotta keep the snark about celebrities), I stopped watching after the first ep but someone told me that they revealed Dylan was the father and that they said he'd show up? Now I'll REALLY never watch again if LP's not coming back to the zipcode!

Posted by: sjcpeach | September 19, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

I saw a women at 14th and E Streets this morning with her jeans rolled up like Katie Holmes. I guess this is becoming a tread.

Posted by: yayaclub | September 19, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

luvbrandon, I hear Anne Hathaway is still single.

Posted by: Luke | September 19, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

Does anyone have any information on how Katie Holmes' reviews are?

Thanks for tidying up the blog, Q Liz.

I personally would appreciate it if there were no more copied baby spitup, grocery shopping, kid discipline, and happy hubby tips.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 19, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

unless someone drove over the woman's pants while she was crossing the street I believe you mean trend

Posted by: just sayin' | September 19, 2008 11:14 AM | Report abuse

As for 90210 (because gotta keep the snark about celebrities), I stopped watching after the first ep but someone told me that they revealed Dylan was the father and that they said he'd show up? Now I'll REALLY never watch again if LP's not coming back to the zipcode!

Posted by: sjcpeach | September 19, 2008 11:03 AM

its so wrong that dylan is the father. it should have been brandon. dylan and brenda should be together 4-ever.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Brenda by the way looks awful! Kelly has aged way better (or at least had better work done!)

I also have had a thing for Rob Estes since Silk Stalkings. Just as a side-note.

Posted by: sjcpeach | September 19, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Brenda by the way looks awful! Kelly has aged way better (or at least had better work done!)

I also have had a thing for Rob Estes since Silk Stalkings. Just as a side-note.

Posted by: sjcpeach | September 19, 2008 11:24 AM


kelly sucks. she's such a friggin goody too shoes. i wish brenda would kick her arse.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

we probably wouldn't be offended if you zapped the short, off-topic OP posts, either. the island is my refuge from all the politics and mom-snark.

Jude Law might be OK as Watson....A lot's going to depend on the script. I love RDJ, but it's going to take a masterful performance to beat Jeremy Brett's Holmes.

*sigh* i think i am going to have to wait until tonight to see the gallery. it's taking forever to load, which means it probably won't.

Posted by: b | September 19, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

The poor coyote probably gagged on the little tutu Paris makes her dog wear and spit him out. Or else it broke a tooth on the diamond studded collar. Those rich dogs are not good eatin.

Posted by: hodie | September 19, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

WHEN Ivana Trump flies, it's first class or bust. A fellow passenger on her flight from West Palm Beach to Newark on Sunday watched in awe as Trump acted "miserable that she was put in coach and not first class" and spent her time "complaining the nearby children were acting like monsters." Our spy said, "The flight attendant even asked a first- class passenger to switch with Ivana." The flier apparently agreed to the swap just to shut Ivana up.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Will the political posters go somewhere else please! We (well at least I) don't care about your political positions- bring back the snark and dark wit.

That said, let it be known that I'll detest Jennifer Anniston forever if she hooks up w/my future husband, Gerard Butler. That hussy has plenty of male action she can get; she should leave "my" man alone!
-signed, already married and clearly delusional Plamar1031

Posted by: plamar1031 | September 19, 2008 11:42 AM | Report abuse

If a couple is not separating = making a break to the lawyer's as fast as possible, does "not eaten by coyotes" = eaten by coyotes? Oh dear, ignore what I said over in the Memoir post.

Go Gurgkas. Let me get this straight -- Islamic courts in Britain can now decide domestic violence cases among Muslims based on Sharia law, but the brave Gurkas who fought to protect British law cannot even get into the country?

Posted by: ep | September 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

That said, let it be known that I'll detest Jennifer Anniston forever if she hooks up w/my future husband, Gerard Butler. That hussy has plenty of male action she can get; she should leave "my" man alone!
-signed, already married and clearly delusional Plamar1031

watch out! "luvjen" is gonna come and go off on you.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Go Gurgkas. Let me get this straight -- Islamic courts in Britain can now decide domestic violence cases among Muslims based on Sharia law, but the brave Gurkas who fought to protect British law cannot even get into the country?

Posted by: ep | September 19, 2008 11:45 AM

Ummm, why the anti-muslim undertone? I'm muslim and i think its really disgusting how some of you make snide comments about Islam on this blog and others. If you don't know anything about the religion, please don't bash it. especially on a celeb blog. 99% of us are law-abiding, non freakish/fundamentalists who abhor the people who are hijacking it.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 11:49 AM | Report abuse

It is 11:51 a.m. EST at my office cave, and I can't believe the no one had yet run with the obvious straight line from today's Paris Hilton story:

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

[woof-woof-woof-woof]

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 19, 2008 11:53 AM | Report abuse

another blind item - NO! Not my Vin! I think the closeted action star is actually The Rock.

Posted by: jaybbub | September 19, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

I hope that blind item is about Vin Diesel. But -- what if it's about Jason Statham? What ever will I do?

Posted by: other liz | September 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

I wonder if Mel B's fitness-wellness DVDs will include the advice to avoid gaining 40 unwanted pounds by refusing bootie calls from Eddie Murphy.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

If Pat O'Brien gets fired from a celebrity reporting gig and no one notices (as in no one gives a turd), was he ever really there?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 19, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Memo to Jen: You go, girl!!! (apologies to plamar1031 :-))

Brangelina family had a big breakfast? Sans Ms. Stick Figure, I imagine. Don't know how someone can live in the country with the best food in the world and still be anorexic.

Posted by: Californian | September 19, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

sjcpeach and anonymous-

I knew all along that dad was going to be Dylan, but I kept hoping against hope it was Brandon. I was always a Dylan/Brenda girl. And I just don't buy that Brenda would be all best friendy with Kelly in those circumstances. But I guess Brandon would not exactly be a deadbeat dad, either. Hmmm. Much too much thought.

Posted by: Ra the Funktress | September 19, 2008 12:15 PM | Report abuse

sjcpeach and anonymous-

I knew all along that dad was going to be Dylan, but I kept hoping against hope it was Brandon. I was always a Dylan/Brenda girl. And I just don't buy that Brenda would be all best friendy with Kelly in those circumstances. But I guess Brandon would not exactly be a deadbeat dad, either. Hmmm. Much too much thought.

Posted by: Ra the Funktress | September 19, 2008 12:15 PM

it would have been awesome if it turned out that david silver was the father. he and kelly werent biologically related. they could have gotten tori on the show too, and she wouldnt have known, until the extra special sweeps episode, where tori overhears kelly demandnig child support from david.

ok, i think i've analyzed this enough.

Posted by: anoni | September 19, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Liz,

I have tried following the directions but can't get my "drawing" uploaded to the LIZZIES Gallery. It says the file is invalid.

Posted by: Curmudgeon isn't a PC wizard | September 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

You know, Sasquatch, I have a feeling that the news report is correct: coyotes didn't eat Paris' teeny dogs, Paris ate them in a fit of pique after being released from jail that time.

Posted by: Curmudgeon passes the salt | September 19, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

What? No "the dingo ate my puppies"?


HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

How do pirates know that they are pirates???

They think, therefore, they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Posted by: Cap'n Crunch | September 19, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Q: Arrrrr, what has 8 arrrrms and 8 legs? Arrrr!?

ARRRR: 8 pirates! Arrr!

(I read that somewhere this morning - maybe in Achenblog?)

Posted by: byoolin prefers talk like a Pyrite day. | September 19, 2008 12:48 PM | Report abuse

ummm, i think donatella versace needs a pedicure or SOMETHING.

blech.

http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/18/whose-scabby-feet/

Posted by: need a pedi | September 19, 2008 10:25 AM
==========================================
That's just wrong, especially when matched with equally disturbing embiggened lips! Ick!

Posted by: clw wishes she hadn't opened during lunch hour | September 19, 2008 12:49 PM | Report abuse

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. Bartender looks at the pirate and says, "Do you know that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

"Arrrrrr!" says the pirate, "And it's driving me nuts!"

Posted by: Sasquatch Blackbeard | September 19, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

ummm, i think donatella versace needs a pedicure or SOMETHING.

blech.

http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/18/whose-scabby-feet/

Posted by: need a pedi | September 19, 2008 10:25 AM


Hate to get all serious up in here, but that could be caused from getting a pedi where they don't clean out the tubs between clients. I've seen it on some investigative news show. That's pretty mild, I've seen worse. The place I go to cleans out the tubs in front of you, unfortunately we're their landlord and about to kick them out.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

Loved Janet's costumes...especially the guy in jodpurs and codpiece and the naughty little sailor outfit. The only thing missing were some farm animals.

Posted by: possum | September 19, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

With apologies to luvjen, is Jennifer Aniston starting to enter "Lance Armstrong/Kate Hudson-serial dating" territory???

Posted by: clw | September 19, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Q: Why aren't kids allowed to see pirate movies?

A: 'Cause they rated arrrrrrrrr!

Posted by: jaybbub | September 19, 2008 1:01 PM | Report abuse

Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?

A: St-arrrrrrr-ve

Posted by: Ra the Funktress | September 19, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

Don't forget raise a glass of your best rumfustian for the Swayze...

Posted by: LTL says shiver me timbers... | September 19, 2008 1:18 PM | Report abuse

Who writes the Post's Reliable Source column on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Amy Aaaaarrrrgggg-etsinger.


Name a movie by the Coen brothers about pirates in North Dakota.

Faaaaarrrrgggg-o.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 1:22 PM | Report abuse

How do pirates get better working conditions?

Through collective baaaaaaarrrrgggg-aining.


Where did Humphrey Bogart meet pirates?

In Key Laaaaaaarrrrgggg-o.


Where does a pirate store his bottle of rum?

In a pocket of his caaaaarrrrgggg-o pants.

(yo-ho-ho)

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 1:26 PM | Report abuse

Here's why Hurricane Ike hit Texas so hard:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/2847863045/

Posted by: Sasquatch Blackbeard | September 19, 2008 1:32 PM | Report abuse

Yarrr, raise yer mugs o' grog to the Swayze! May the gentle winds fill yer sails, and may yer chests overflow with booty. >clink<

Posted by: Bawlmer the Salty Wench | September 19, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Bunch of folks have gone on about "not messing up the merchandise that's for sale" and "don't prevent other customers from trying out the merchandise."

Now the first accusation has already been addressed - floor samples aren't for sale, they're for trying. Yes, the floor samples get sold at the end of the season - or more accurately, they get dumped at a very steap discount. I've bought floor sample merchandise more than once, and I expect it to have dings, dents, stains, etc. I've checked the stuff out pretty thoroughly before I buy, and I won't buy it if I can't hide the damage, fix it, or live with it. Also, did you know that floor models are usually written off on the seller's taxes as business expense?

Seems to me the lady who was hassled for nursing was trying out the glider she intending to buy...

Why would she want to buy that thing? Most likely, hoping it would be comfortable for holding and nursing her baby at home. Best way to find out is to try it out. Sometimes furniture has the armrests too high, or too low for comfortable nursing. Too low, one could put a pillow or folded towel on top of the armrest to get it to a comfortable height, but too high and there's just no way to make it comfortable.

So, when a sales person approached a customer trying out merchandise for the purpose that they intend to use it after they get it home, and the sales person makes the customer feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, I think the sale isn't going to happen. I'd certainly take my business somewhere else if I'd been in the lady's shoes.

I don't believe there was anything wrong with what the nursing mother did - try out the merchandise she would be buying in the way she planned to use it. Breastmilk doesn't stain, and it doesn't stink like spilled formula either.

I think the sales person needs to learn better customer service skills, or he's going to be driving away potential customers, though.

Posted by: Sue | September 19, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

YAY LINSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jennifer Lopez might have been forced to skip “Project Runway’s” season five finale due to a foot injury, but the hit reality design show will return in 2009 on Lifetime with Lindsay Lohan sitting in the guest judge’s chair for the season premiere.

Access Hollywood has learned that the actress will help the judges decide whose fashion is fiercest for the show’s first episode on its new network.

The 22-year-old actress, who has been in New York recently shooting episodes of “Ugly Betty,” filmed the premiere episode on Thursday.

A source told Access the tentative premiere date for “Runway” on Lifetime is Jan. 20, while the season five finale airs Oct. 15 on Bravo.

In taking her seat in the judge’s chair, Lohan joins a long line of A-list stars who have lent their fashion sense to the show, including Victoria Beckham, Natalie Portman and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Posted by: luvlinsey | September 19, 2008 1:48 PM | Report abuse

Thanks y'all for remembering The Swayze on Friday! I am appalled and chagrined that I forgot.

Please, Patrick, forgive me. You know I lurve you.

Posted by: jaybbub | September 19, 2008 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Hey, jaybbub, don't beat yourself up! Think of the saying about teaching a person to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. In this case, you've gotten other people to send out good wishes for The Swayze too! (more is better).

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

What range we have: from good wishes to the Swayze to Gurkha rights to really, really, really bad pirate jokes. Did I mention the pirate jokes arrrrrrre really bad?

Posted by: ep | September 19, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

really, really, really bad pirate jokes

Posted by: Nosy Parker resembles that remark | September 19, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

I got one! Who is the Pirate's favorite Celebrity Drummer? Ringo Staaaaaarrrrr

Posted by: hodie ducks the rotten tomatoes | September 19, 2008 2:48 PM | Report abuse

http://people.bu.edu/ethanri/piratejoke/

for those of you who can't get enough of the bad pirate jokes.

Posted by: hodie | September 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

I nurse in public, discreetly, and I refuse to be intimidated by people who disapprove. I always cover myself so that the breast is not exposed. I have, on very rare occasions, come across people who glare at me. I just smile at them, ignore them, or engage them in conversation, depending on my mood. A lady once asked me if I couldn't "do that" in the bathroom, and I asked here whether she would like to have her lunch in the bathroom. So she walked away.

Posted by: Emily | September 19, 2008 11:54 AM


Perhaps you should learn some manners. Thats not a nice way to speak to people. You should have gone to the bathroom, gotten a stall and fed your child, like a normal person.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Correction: Nosy Parker resembles that remaaaaaarrrrrrrk.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Have any of you seen the movie with Jewel and Toby McGuire? Part of the movie has Jewel breastfeeding and Toby staring at her the whole time because it excites him.
As a heterosexual male I have to say ladies, men love looking at breasts. We don't care if you are breastfeeding or not, so keep on doing it in public. We will keep on enjoying it. 99% of men feel this way, many just wont admit it. And neither would I if asked.

Posted by: Tabby | September 19, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Oh, gag, not again. 'Do that' out of sight. Would you take a dump in the middle of the store as well? Feed your kid before you leave home and spare us the disgusting show.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 19, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

nice abs!

woo hoo!

http://www.popeater.com/television/article/skinny-celebs-weight-issues-tiny-actress/178546

Posted by: nice abs!!!!! | September 19, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Q: Who believes he can fly, especially when accompanied by a minor?
A: Rrrrrrrrr Kelly

Q: Why do we love Celebritology so much?
A: It's the snarrrrrrrrrk

Posted by: td | September 19, 2008 3:42 PM | Report abuse

Q: According to the Celebritology glossary, who worships at the altar of Ramen?
A: A Pastafarrrrrrrrrrrian

Posted by: td also says *yo fatty carrrrrrrm down* | September 19, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Great work, td!

Posted by: Nosy Parker bows in awe | September 19, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, lets have the anonymous cut-and -paste poster "Walk the plank!"

Posted by: hodie | September 19, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Good idea, hodie.

Or a week with only bread and water rations, which was considered a nasty punishment for reasons other than lack of nutritional diversity.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, lets have the anonymous cut-and -paste poster "Walk the plank!"


Yarrr, let's give the barnacled bilge-swabber a one-way trip to Davey Jones' locker! Give 'im a taste o' the captain's daughter! Yaharrr!

Posted by: Bawlmer the Salty Wench might be hittin' the rum a bit harrrd. | September 19, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

AP: Televangelist's ex-husband seeks new wife on Web
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/19/AR2008091901894.html?hpid=entnews

The ex-husband of national televangelist Juanita Bynum, [Thomas W. Weeks III], who divorced after a parking lot fight between the two landed him in jail, plans to take his search for a new wife to the Internet with videos featuring dating tips and what he's looking for in a mate...

Excerpts available Friday included Weeks, 41, discussing with aides what he should look for in his third wife.

The group concludes the woman should be at least 25 years old but "with special exemptions for 21 and up if they are classy," Weeks said. She also must want to have children with him.

"This woman has to be very discerning, and very intimate, and very social and very sensual," Weeks says, laughing. "And on the ministry side she has to be very diverse. She can't be ugly."

Bynum, 49, filed for divorce after the couple had an August, 2007, fight in an Atlanta hotel parking lot that landed Weeks in jail on charges that he pushed, choked and beat Bynum...

Posted by: Nosy Parker doesn't know whether to laugh or cry | September 19, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

What's sad Nosy is that there are women out there that thinks this man's a catch and he will receive hundreds of responses.

Posted by: jake e. poo | September 19, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Sad to say, jake e.poo, you're undoubtedly correct. After all, Ike Turner had three more wives after Tina.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ike_Turner

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 19, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

In the Closet: Katie Backstage, Backed Down

While the anti-Scientologists were picketing (a little timidly for my notorious tastes) outside the Schoenfeld Theatre for Katie Holmes’ Broadway debut in All My Sons, hubby Tom Cruise, ‘course, was inside stealing Ms. H’s thunder—wholly unintentionally, of course.

It was her first preview. She needed good word of mouth on this project, badly, if she’s supposed to carry on with any modicum of a Pieces of April-type career, instead of one akin to a string of Mad Money-esque projects. Did supportive hub-unit T.C. really have to show up with his spooky entourage that par-tick night, giving the protesters outside even more reason to raise hell?

Ah, I suppose it’s what I adore about Tommy, he never really does what he’s supposed to, right? Discreet watching from the wings be damned! He’s a big-banged rebel in the yummy end.

But Katie sure as hell is relieved after her first publicly viewed performance—which wasn’t at all bad—getting hugged by costar John Lithgow. It’s the only time I’ve ever seen her spine relaxed, not razor, Beverly Hills sharp, post-hooking up with Tom. Who knows, are the boards going to perhaps take a little of the stiff Stepford outta Katie? Both her career and I pray for it, trust.

Posted by: Ted Casablanca | September 19, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

That said, let it be known that I'll detest Jennifer Anniston forever if she hooks up w/my future husband, Gerard Butler. That hussy has plenty of male action she can get; she should leave "my" man alone!
-signed, already married and clearly delusional Plamar1031

Posted by: plamar1031 | September 19, 2008 11:42 AM

************

plamar1031, I was just thinking that I'm going to have to strike Gerry off my kitchen pass list altogether (much to his dismay, I'm sure) due to his terrible taste in women. My brain has imploded over it so I don't think I can even remember all the unsuitables he has squired: Naomi Campbell, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Anniston, etc.

What the heck is wrong with this man?

Posted by: alex thinks Gerry could do better. . . and I'm still available for now | September 19, 2008 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Kudos from me, as well, to Joanna Lumley over situation with the Gurkhas.

(I not only remember JL from AbFab, I also remember her as Purdey from the New Avengers!)

Posted by: alex | September 19, 2008 5:18 PM | Report abuse

This is a hot topic now at the hot interracial dating club[___"interracialchatting.c o m"___] which is a good place for 18+ singles from each race to meet cute girls with big boobs online. This is the only site where sexy black and white girls like discussing interracial relationship.

Posted by: will | September 21, 2008 9:32 PM | Report abuse

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