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Posted at 8:00 AM ET, 09/ 4/2008

Morning Mix: Britney to Open Sunday's VMAs with (Non-)Performance

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Britney Spears to open Sunday's Video Music Awards show (but not perform); still facing license trial... Jamie Lynn Spears sent care package to expectant teen mom Bristol Palin... Hillary Clinton is a "whiner," says Susan Sarandon... Star Jones dating chef... Kate Hudson says she and ex Chris Robinson still "basically live together"... Paris Hilton documentary debuts at Toronto film festival... Daniel Radcliffe needs to dial back the candor... David Spade is a dad... Usher plans tour exclusively for female audiences... Oprah's mom sued for outstanding $155,000 clothing bill.

Crime Watch: Mackenzie Phillips charged in drug case, enters rehab.

Rumor Mill: Angelina Jolie suffering from post-partum depression?... Sex addicted David Duchovny cheated on Tea Leoni, says National Enquirer... Michael Jackson dating Pam Anderson, according to imaginative British tabloid... Anne Hathaway loaned ex Raffaello Follieri thousands of dollars... Oprah to make "30 Rock" guest appearance?

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's 60 minutes of heaven: Celebritology Live.

Video: Early trailer for Lindsay Lohan's "Labor Pains"...

---

It's back! Join Jen Chaney and me tomorrow -- Friday at 2 p.m. ET -- to discuss the first selection in the resurrected "Lost" Book Club: C.S. Lewis's "Prince Caspian."

By Liz Kelly  | September 4, 2008; 8:00 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: J. Lo: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Comments

Hmm...and the skull and cross bones burp cloth is to signify what?

"Your life as you knew it is over!! Muahaha.

With love and kisses,
Jamie Lynn"

Posted by: Sully says good morning to all | September 4, 2008 8:27 AM | Report abuse

"Star Jones dating chef." The guy must be a workaholic.


So Harry lost his cherry "to an older woman." How many of you were crossing your fingers and saying, "Please, please, please let it be Helen Mirren"? I know I was.


David Spade is a dad & David Duchovny cheated on Tea Leoni. From now on, my immediate reaction to the name "David" will be "WTF??!?!?!?"


The Mirror story says that MJ and Pammy "requested a hidden area in the corner... [that] would have protected them from the dangerous melting effects of the Californian sunshine."


Clarification: Raffaello says "loaned," Miss Hathaway says "swindled."


Once again, mere words cannot convey my gratitude that I am unable to view the video feature.

Posted by: Some of us are byoolin but most of us are Daves. | September 4, 2008 8:27 AM | Report abuse

I hope Jamie Lynn's care package included tips on how to make your baby's daddy tabloid-ready and a "Dodging Marriage Rumors: Page-a-Day Calendar."

And one can only imagine that the Playboy model's reaction to learning she was pregnant with David Spade's child was, "Just Shoot Me."

Posted by: td | September 4, 2008 8:38 AM | Report abuse

Breaking News from the NYT:

"Walter (Killer) Kowalski, one of professional wrestling’s biggest stars and most hated villains" and inventor of "the Iron Claw" is dead at 81.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 4, 2008 8:41 AM | Report abuse

Hey to all you losties (in case you didn't know already)... Sci Fi Channel is airing season one of LOST starting September 15.

Get your LOST fix in this fall!

Whoooo hoooo!

Posted by: Osteph is so excited she could cry | September 4, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Killer!?!?

And Bill Melendez, the animator of the Charlie Brown cartoons, died too.

Posted by: byoolin's childhood idols are dropping like flies. | September 4, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

Good luck keeping the weight off, Star. I married a chef. I used to be a size 6.
But boy howdy, seared scallops on demand and living with a man who smells like fresh-baked bread make it worthwile.

Posted by: other liz | September 4, 2008 8:57 AM | Report abuse

Star Jones is living with Chef? I thought he died last month; she a necrophiliac?

Posted by: Stick | September 4, 2008 8:58 AM | Report abuse

I watched the video - it wasn't bad. It reminded me of when Lilo was know for her acting and not for her partying.

Someone needs to remind Pam she has two young sons.

Posted by: MGC | September 4, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

"'So Harry lost his cherry "to an older woman.' How many of you were crossing your fingers and saying, 'Please, please, please let it be Helen Mirren'? I know I was." --byoolin

Helen I could understand(ish). But now I'm thinking of all the "older women" in the Harry Potter movies. Better Julie Walters than Maggie Smith?

Posted by: td can only imagine the wizardly sparks that flew that night | September 4, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Mackenzie Phillips' rehab begs the question as to when Dr. Drew will visit.

Posted by: td says keep her away from duchovny | September 4, 2008 9:03 AM | Report abuse

"Oprah's mom sued for outstanding $155,000 clothing bill." -- her daughter said, "Pay up NOW, Mom, or else I'm taking the house too."

Posted by: td hopes mom doesn't shop at hermes | September 4, 2008 9:07 AM | Report abuse

Star Jones is living with Chef? I thought he died last month; she a necrophiliac?

Posted by: Stick | September 4, 2008 8:58 AM

Why do you have to be so mean?

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:10 AM | Report abuse

I think it's a lifelong process and how a person decides to deal with rules has a lot to do with personality and circumstance, rather than just a parenting call or technique.

For me I think it's important for kids to learn over time how to evaluate rules, risk, rewards and consequences.

I see my role as a parent as:
a) expressing the rules and reasons for them
b) modelling my own response - for example, I never, ever drive if I've had even half a glass of wine; I pay my taxes; I don't run stop signs; I wear a helmet on my bike, etc.
c) enforcing the bottom-line safety rules while my child is too young to get it, and that includes health rules like brushing teeth
d) appreciating my child's efforts to learn and follow rules and etiquette and all that

We try to keep the just-because rules to a minimum at our house - do I care if my son wears a clean t-shirt to bed rather than a pyjama top?

No, so no rule about that. But he does have to wear a helmet on his trike.

When it comes to societal rules where the consequence is not life-threatening or overwhelmingly bad, I think I would back my child in breaking a rule provided that the child understood that there would be consequences. (For example, being suspended is a consequence of breaking a school dress code.)

I think this is the most important element: is breaking the rule THAT important. If it is, then okay. I think a lot of people forget that in movements like the civil rights movement, that was a critical element - people felt that strongly that they were willing to go to jail.

If I believed a rule was unfair, I would challenge it appropriately (or support my child in doing so) and accept the results of the challenge. I think that's good modelling too.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 9:11 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone see the episode of Extras with Daniel Radcliff hitting on, I believe, Diana Rigg? Just saying.

Posted by: jake e. poo | September 4, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

Star Jones dating chef...

-Isn't this like an alcoholic dating a bartender? How long before her next gastric bypass?

Kate Hudson says she and ex Chris Robinson still "basically live together"..

-Man that had to be awkward for Lance, and Matthew, and Owen, and..

Usher plans tour exclusively for female audiences...

-OK show of hands, how many guys actually go to an Usher concert to begin with?

MJ and PamAn, what are they comparing plastic surgery stories?

On a side note, Liz please no more politics, yesterday may have been the saddest and least fun BKD in history.

Posted by: Dorkus arriving late today | September 4, 2008 9:15 AM | Report abuse

It's not fair blaming Liz. She reported on the fact that a celeb know for being completely messed up made a statement that made sense. Given that it was LiLo who made the statement, it was true celeb news. That people started going off on politics and not the fact that LiLo is evidently coherent of logical thought process is the fault of the people who got drawn in.

That said, is there anyway to block the OP reposts, they are getting over the top. They're starting to go from irritating to agravating.

Posted by: MGC | September 4, 2008 9:20 AM | Report abuse

I try to teach my kids the way I was taught. Most rules exist for a good reason, and I'll explain to them what the reason is. And with regard to breaking the rules, well, "don't do the crime if you can't do the time."

On the other hand, sometimes rules are stupid or wrong, and if you believe strongly enough that a rule needs to be broken, go ahead and do it as long as you're willing to take the possible consequences.

My father pulled us out of school to attend his court martial for insubordination. He disobeyed an order he believed to be unlawful, and he was willing to take the consequences. He felt it was important to take that stand and wanted us to understand. He was acquitted at the court martial, but made sure we knew what COULD have happened and how it would have impacted us.

Posted by: ArmyBrat | September 4, 2008 9:10 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Doesn't Usher do that anyway? What's he going to play, bachlorette parties?

Between Pam and Michael which part of which one is dating the other?

Posted by: EricS | September 4, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

"Between Pam and Michael which part of which one is dating the other?" --EricS

You got me, Eric, but I'm seeing noses falling off and landing in cleavage, and it's not a pretty sight, believe me.

Posted by: td says *oh, my nose!* | September 4, 2008 9:29 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, I just watched the trailer for LiLo's new movie, I got to say it might be ok. It's a little cheesy and predictable but Cheryl Hines seems to have a pretty funny role in the movie. I predict it will be a bigger hit than 'I know who killed me'.

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 9:31 AM | Report abuse

While I do think that Susan Sarandon has a point in that link, I find it amusing that she's calling some one else a "whiner." Isn't she always "whining" about some cause or other? Didn't SNL make fun of her for her "whining" at various award events.

And, yeah, Star - bad choice. This is like a junkie dating a drug dealer. Find someone else. What's Al up to lately?

Posted by: Amelia | September 4, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse

Anne Hathaway:

From the article - "It was totally love at first sight... He is sooo good-looking... He looks like a god."

Um, no, he looks like Zach Braff with an oval face. If you're going to say "looks like a god", then have the guy look a little more impossibly good-looking please.

***********************

Daniel Radcliffe:

Whatever. Those three kids are still amazingly poised and stable considering their childhoods and the time they've spent in the entertainment industry. Other parents of famous kids need to take notice.

***********************

David Duchovny:

My husband is more than willing to go and comfort Tea for you. He can't believe you'd cheat on her. (And I love my husband, but I'm pretty sure he'd just stand in front of Tea and drool - I didn't marry him for his smooth moves and articulation ;) ).

***********************

Angelina Jolie:

Wouldn't surprise me. She's gotta be tired and it takes a while for your body to wind back down. Hope she (and any new mother) gets the care she needs.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | September 4, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse

If David Spade is a dad, that means someone had sex with him. That is just such a big "ewwwww" I can't think of anything else.

Excpet this -- It's September folks. Playtime is over. Stop messing with the blogs, posting irrelevant comments (obviously Susan Sarandon never met Nancy), etc. It's celebrities. If you aint' talking about a celebrity in your comment, don't make it.

Posted by: ep | September 4, 2008 9:37 AM | Report abuse

It's not fair blaming Liz. She reported on the fact that a celeb know for being completely messed up made a statement that made sense. Given that it was LiLo who made the statement, it was true celeb news. That people started going off on politics and not the fact that LiLo is evidently coherent of logical thought process is the fault of the people who got drawn in.

Posted by: MGC | September 4, 2008 9:20 AM

I agree. Liz isn't to blame for the horrid comments that were being made yesterday. As I read them, I couldn't believe people could write such atrocious things!

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Agreed with Dorkus on the Lilo movie trailer. It actually looks like I wouldn't hate it...I might laugh WITH Lilo.

I'm freaking out here, guys. WTF is up with the world when your reliable eff-ups seem on track?

I know I should be happy for her if this is the case, but it makes me feel better about myself when the celebrities act like asshats.

Posted by: Sully is afeared. | September 4, 2008 9:44 AM | Report abuse

Liz isn't to blame for the horrid comments that were being made yesterday. As I read them, I couldn't believe people could write such atrocious things!

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:43 AM


WTF is up with the world when your reliable eff-ups seem on track?

Posted by: Sully is afeared. | September 4, 2008 9:44 AM

Posted by: amazing juxtaposition | September 4, 2008 9:46 AM | Report abuse

It's all just part of the effort to make Nancy "Nancy".

Posted by: Sully says meh | September 4, 2008 9:50 AM | Report abuse

David Spade finally called a spade a Spade.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Usher told female fan base for tell his fans to NYOB about his marriage. His fans said “f*@# off, Usher” and stopped by his CD. Now, he has to apologize to them if he wants to keep those big checks rolling in.

Posted by: Lisa1 | September 4, 2008 9:54 AM | Report abuse

I don't actually blame Liz for yesterday, she was doing her job and to be fair it did seem to be a slow news day celebrity wise. I think I'm just cranky after the two weeks of convention BS (on both sides of the aisle).

I just came here to snark and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum.

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 9:54 AM | Report abuse

It's all just part of the effort to make Nancy "Nancy".

Posted by: Sully says meh | September 4, 2008 9:50 AM

I'm not sure what you people are trying to say, but I thought we agreed that there would be no more mean or attacking comments after yesterday. I'm unclear why you find the need to attack me and make me upset.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:55 AM | Report abuse

I can't wait until the blogs automatically post your WaPo user name like the comments sections. Then we'll know who all the prank posters are.

Posted by: anon til then | September 4, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Please, folks, have your David Spade or neutered.

Posted by: byoolin waited as long as he could. | September 4, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

I'm not sure what you people are trying to say, but I thought we agreed that there would be no more mean or attacking comments after yesterday. I'm unclear why you find the need to attack me and make me upset.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:55 AM


No, Nancy, you agreed, we agreed to no such thing. (get your kleenex out) Nancy, you are a loser and an annoyance. I actually think that you're just a 49 y/o virgin troll living in your mother's basement, but if you are who you say you are, then thats even sadder.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 10:03 AM | Report abuse

Nancy, I'm so sorry you're upset.

Have a seat here. Would you like a cup of coffee? Cream and sugar with that?

How about an almond croissant, baked this morning at my local boulangerie?

And I have a special potpourri sachet that has restorative, calming properties.

It's inside this box.

Why don't you open it?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Sas how could you be so nice to someone else and not me, I want the almond croissant, I want the potpourri sachet and I want what is in that box!

I tell you it makes me want to just go home to my wonderful and attentive blow up man doll and cry on his blow up shoulder...

Posted by: LTL reaches for a tissue | September 4, 2008 10:10 AM | Report abuse

make that
"... go home to my wonderful and attentive blow up man doll and NANCY on his blow up shoulder..."

Posted by: LTL shamefully realizes she didn't use her own requested lexicon addition | September 4, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Star Jones is another person who belongs on last Friday's celebrities who need to go away list. Suprised it took 3 1/2 yrs for her ex to get wise.
Agree on the David Spade ewwwwwwww comment. Also applies to MJ and Pam.

Posted by: hodie | September 4, 2008 10:14 AM | Report abuse

It's inside this box.

Why don't you open it?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:04 AM

Beware Lizards bearing Trojans.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Nancy, I'm so sorry you're upset.

Have a seat here. Would you like a cup of coffee? Cream and sugar with that?

How about an almond croissant, baked this morning at my local boulangerie?

And I have a special potpourri sachet that has restorative, calming properties.

It's inside this box.

Why don't you open it?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:04 AM


Thank you for being so kind to me today Sasquatch. Usually you are very rude and crass, but I thank you for being very civil and nice today.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

Beware Lizards bearing Trojans.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 10:18 AM
---------------------------------------
I'm a Lifestyles(TM) kind of guy...The brand name! The brand name, dammit!

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:25 AM | Report abuse

LTL says:

"I want what is in that box! "

Umm, LTL, would you change your mind if I told you that the box contents have been re-gifted from Salma Hayek?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Nancy,

Donna and Cecilia are just like the Energizer Bunny, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Works of fiction, you know, just like you!

(and quite insipid fiction at that!)

Posted by: Uh, give it up Nancy! | September 4, 2008 10:02 AM


Thats completely untrue. I am a real person, as is Donna and Cecilia. We are white, suburban, upper middle class parents with similar parenting styles.


Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 10:33 AM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 10:38 AM | Report abuse

Sasquatch, you are so transparent.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 10:41 AM | Report abuse

Beware of the box, LTL.

Posted by: Sully | September 4, 2008 10:43 AM | Report abuse

I don't want what's in the box (sorry Sasquatch) but I would like to be there when LTL (or even better, Nancy) opens it.

Posted by: hodie, has camera ready | September 4, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

Subtle hints, Sully. Subtle hints. LTL understands nuance. She'll take the cue.

And yes, since I am a virtual entity, you CAN see right through me.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Apologies, Sasquatch. I should have refreshed the page before commenting.

And now we wait...

Will. She. Open it?

Posted by: Sully's on the edge of her seat | September 4, 2008 10:55 AM | Report abuse

I would expect Sas to be on par with Fabio Cannavaro - right Sas? Right?!?

Although I don't know that I would take Selma's Sloppy Sas Seconds.

Posted by: LTL is not afraid of hairy | September 4, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

hodie, would you believe that Daniel Radcliffe is in there?

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 10:57 AM | Report abuse

On a side note, Liz please no more politics, yesterday may have been the saddest and least fun BKD in history.

Posted by: Dorkus arriving late today | September 4, 2008 9:15 AM

Yes, and no more parenting crap. Popping out a baby does not equal intelligence.

Posted by: Stop the breeding | September 4, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

I hope you people are not mocking me. I'm a decent, hardworking parent who doesn't deserve to be made fun of. You people should be ashamed of yoruself.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

Everyone take a deep breath. Just because someone is baiting, doesn't mean we have to respond.

In the meantime, I'll check the ETA on when registration will be coming to comments.

Posted by: Liz Kelly | September 4, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Sas I'd more expect one of the hobbits not Hairy Potter...

Posted by: LTL - | September 4, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

So, the rumor is that Daniel's older woman was his makeup artist? That's a bit creepy.

Oh, yeah. When I make you up to look like a 12 year old, that just does it for me. 7 years age difference is nothing, let's see if we can make it look like 10.

Posted by: Sully just skeeved herself out. | September 4, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Such contradictions are everywhere. For instance, the middle schooler who was suspended from school for dying her hair pink. The girl, Amelia Robbins, "finds the color pink is the cancer color." Amelia's father died of cancer when she was 6, the girl told KY3 TV in Missouri.


Tough, you don't get to bring every cause into school, just as you don't into work. That is why kids are bewildered when they grow up. I wore pink hair to school, why not at work? why won't anyone hire me etc.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

I agree. Liz isn't to blame for the horrid comments that were being made yesterday. As I read them, I couldn't believe people could write such atrocious things!

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:43 AM


Nancy,

You and the hubby are invited to Leslie Morgan Steiner's "Key Party" this Saturday!

Posted by: Believe this, Nancy Boy | September 4, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

LTL muses:
"I would expect Sas to be on par with Fabio Cannavaro - right Sas? Right?!?"

The beauty of cyberspace is that you can be as beautiful or as ugly as you wish. For example, you, LTL, your cyberself puts Salma Hayek to shame.

As for me, Forest Gump logic applies.....

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Harry in a box!???? barharhar!
glad it's not Doby (pink and shriveled)

Posted by: hodie knows Harry Potter | September 4, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

In other news, Kate Hudson's description of her living arrangements with her ex-husband provide some exculpatory evidence for ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong. Would YOU want to date someone who lives with their ex?

I think that we'll have to use other items as the basic for snarking the One-Ball Wonder.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 11:10 AM | Report abuse

The beauty of cyberspace is that you can be as beautiful or as ugly as you wish. For example, you, LTL, your cyberself puts Salma Hayek to shame.

Posted by: Sasquatch | September 4, 2008 11:05 AM

*****************************************

Have I mentioned that people often mistake me for a young George Clooney?

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Have I mentioned that people often mistake me for a young George Clooney?

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 11:13 AM

The one who appeared on a Grade Z episode of "Murder, She Wrote"?

Posted by: Everyone is a 10 on the Net | September 4, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Dang it, Byoolin beat me to the punch. All I've got is shock that anyone would admit to getting together with David Spade.

That Usher, he really likes to live on the edge. Didn't his wife go off when he got to close to the woman in one of his videos?

Of all the nerve. Smame on Salma for not keeping your gift Sas. Just smame.

Posted by: petal | September 4, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

how come byoolin doesnt post as much as he did before? his comments are so entertaining. i miss him, luvlindsay, and the other reg commentators.

Posted by: ??? | September 4, 2008 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Sas man, that's just evil.

Deliciously funny, but still evil. You know "Nancy" has never really gotten a present like that before.

Posted by: EricS | September 4, 2008 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Sas - bless your heart, if I were to pick a twin- Salma is an excellent choice. Latina - Italiana tis all the same - tempestuous beautious brunettes must stick together...

Posted by: LTL blushes and promptly removes herself from contention in Peoples 100 Most Beautiful | September 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

how come byoolin doesnt post as much as he did before? his comments are so entertaining. i miss him, luvlindsay, and the other reg commentators. - Posted by: ???

****

The Lovely Mrs. byoolin, ladies and gentlemen - I told her never to call me here, but she can't get enough...

Wouldyabelieve they actually have me doing *work* here at work? Un-be-freaking-lievable.

Posted by: byoolin grumbles. | September 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Howdee-doo, Lovely Mrs. byoolin!

I feel your pain, byoo.

Work, work, work.

You'd think they paid us for this or something . . . oh, yeah, never mind.

Posted by: Curmudgeon gets to work, too | September 4, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Off on a tangent - How do you all handle it when your children see other children breaking the rules (important and/or safety rules) while you are insisting that yours follow the rule? For example, the rule at our health club's swimming pool is that no child is allowed in the water during swimming lessons unless that child is under the direct supervision of an instructor. At these times, the pool is closed to anyone not taking lessons and there is no lifeguard on duty. However, 99% of the lessons take place in the deep end of the pool, leaving the zero entry end unoccupied. Many parents allow their children who are either waiting to begin their lessons or waiting for a sibling to finish to play in the shallow end - often while Mom and Dad are chatting with other parents. This drives DS#2 absolutely crazy because I won't allow him to do the same. I can explain until I'm blue in the face that it's a safety rule, but that's not getting very far while he sees happy, splashing, and apparently safe peers right in front of his face. Ultimately, I've resorted to the "Because it's the rule and that's it" line, but that's tough because it drives me bonkers, too.

Eventually, I handled it by calling the regional manager and pointing out the massive liability issue present in the club's failure to enforce its own rules. Amazing how quickly they found someone to stand on the pool deck and enforce the rule. What I really wanted to do, however, is confront each and every one of those other parents about the lessons they're teaching not only their children, but mine as well. So very, very frustrating...

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Present from Jamie Lynn to Bristol:
"Dear Bristol,
Congratulations and welcome to The Club. In addition to burp cloths, I have added a few little gifts to make your teenage pregnancy/marriage/wedding/White House visit more comfortable.
(IN BOX:)
*Case of Xtra large Great White North brand back bacon flavored condoms.
*Case of beer with saltpeter added.
*Pelvic floor exercises. For after.
*Picture of Dina Lohan to show hubby when he gets frisky.
*Cute underpanties with real "Caution" tape attached.
*Marital aid in shape of hockey stick.

Posted by: possum | September 4, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

Sas - bless your heart, if I were to pick a twin- Salma is an excellent choice. Latina - Italiana tis all the same - tempestuous beautious brunettes must stick together...

Posted by: LTL blushes and promptly removes herself from contention in Peoples 100 Most Beautiful | September 4, 2008 11:54 AM
===
I watched a "tempestuous beautious brunette" on the TV last night.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | September 4, 2008 12:20 PM | Report abuse

Enough with the parenting crap.
Nitwit "Moms" who can't write for poop and never shut up about their dumb kids and their even dumber problems.

Posted by: Please | September 4, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

Enough with the parenting crap.
Nitwit "Moms" who can't write for poop and never shut up about their dumb kids and their even dumber problems.

Posted by: Please | September 4, 2008 12:28 PM

Carm down, fatty

Maybe if we ignore them they will go away

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

I didn't know Obama is an "Elitist"...

Posted by: Wow! | September 4, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Ok, is anyone else having issues with the cut and paste feature? How can I paste crap from OP if its not working?

Posted by: jake e. poo | September 4, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

I can't wait until the blogs automatically post your WaPo user name like the comments sections. Then we'll know who all the prank posters are.

Posted by: anon til then | September 4, 2008 9:56 AM

And then what?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

I play the "It's the rules" card when safety is an issue. For example I make my girls wear their bike helmets 'even in our driveway' so they don't hurt themselves when they fall. I refuse to let them climb or run up the slide at our house or at the playground because they might fall off or get hit by someone coming down. I will bring them over to the sign at the playground and point to where the rule is listed. At our backyard pool, I won't allow running and my daugthers must wear their life vests if I am not in the pool with them. Those are my rules and they are all about safety. The girls must hold my hands when crossing the street, in a parking lot etc. because it's MY rule! Again, it's about safety.

As the girls get older I am sure we will come across many more rules, some of which are 'unfair' and might seem silly. I will probably encourage them to follow the rule, but perhaps we'll talk about trying to get the rule changed instead of just going against it and getting in trouble (suspension, kicked out of somewhere. . .)

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Anne Hathaway should be grateful she never married her con man ex-boyfriend and that she could afford to lose a couple hundred grand. Most women in her position just end up on Judge Judy.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

Ok, is anyone else having issues with the cut and paste feature? How can I paste crap from OP if its not working?

Posted by: jake e. poo | September 4, 2008 1:00 PM

The OP is the same big bag of b.s. every day - dumba$s parenting issues, struggles and problems (HEALTH CLUB today -LOL)- then brag, brag, brag. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Posted by: OP How 2 Handbook | September 4, 2008 1:25 PM | Report abuse

I didn't know Obama is an "Elitist"...

Posted by: Wow! | September 4, 2008 12:42 PM

Only in bizarro world, where someone who's never done his own grocery shopping or pumped his own gas is "in touch" with the average American.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:27 PM | Report abuse

NO!! BAD POSTERS!

Politics, OUT!

Posted by: Sully | September 4, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

I would like to hear what Donna and Cecilia have to say about this topic. I respect their views on parenting, and seem to have similar ideals and values, as we are suburban, upper-middle class parents.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:57 AM


Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:22 PM

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

I would like to hear what Donna and Cecilia have to say about this topic. I respect their views on parenting, and seem to have similar ideals and values, as we are suburban, upper-middle class parents.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:57 AM


as opposed to city dwelling ghetto slum inhabitants? what is that supposed to mean Nancy? you think you're all better than us?!?!?!?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Oh NO!!! Nancy, the stupidest person on the face of the earth is a mother!!
Oh, the humanity!

Posted by: ANON | September 4, 2008 1:38 PM | Report abuse

Oh NO!!! Nancy, the stupidest person on the face of the earth is a mother!!
Oh, the humanity!

Posted by: ANON | September 4, 2008 1:38 PM

Well it looks like Nancy is also a big ol' racist as well.

Posted by: Jinsu | September 4, 2008 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin cut back on posting once he realized I found his secret hideout here.

Posted by: Byoolin's crazy stalker wife, no really | September 4, 2008 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin cut back on posting once he realized I found his secret hideout here.

Posted by: Byoolin's crazy stalker wife, no really | September 4, 2008 1:44 PM

Byoolin's wife - why dont you go comfort Nancy so that Byoolin can entertain us some more.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:52 PM | Report abuse

I would like to hear what Donna and Cecilia have to say about this topic. I respect their views on parenting, and seem to have similar ideals and values, as we are suburban, upper-middle class parents.

Posted by: Nancy | September 4, 2008 9:57 AM


as opposed to city dwelling ghetto slum inhabitants? what is that supposed to mean Nancy? you think you're all better than us?!?!?!?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:34 PM

Carm down. The suburban, upper-middle class parents have the highest suicide rates. That's if they don't live long enough to get dumped into crappy nursing homes by their kids. It all comes out in the wash.

Posted by: Darwinism takes its course | September 4, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

* Oh, Star, what could possibly go wrong there?

* I think it's unfair of Liz Kelly to make me feel sympathy for Angelina--but I do. Hope she takes time off to recuperate. Also hope His Cruisiness doesn't try to stage a whack-a-doodle, drug-free intervention for her.

* I don't get David Duchovny's appeal so I find it almost as strange that he found women willing to have sex with him as David Spade did. I have visions of weird X-Files groupies . . .

Posted by: alex | September 4, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

BTW, has anyone else seen Russell Brand on Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel this week? I really don't know quite what to think. I'm speechless. But mesmerized.

Posted by: alex can't look away from the spectacle that is Russell Brand | September 4, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Duchovny, I saw a photo of Anne Hathaway and her ex last night, and was struck by the strong facial resemblance between Rafaello and David. And that's not meant as a compliment to either man.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | September 4, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin's wife - why dont you go comfort Nancy so that Byoolin can entertain us some more.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 1:52 PM

I hope you people are not mocking me. I'm a decent, hardworking parent who doesn't deserve to be made fun of. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Posted by: Byoolin's crazy stalker wife | September 4, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

"Clue" is talking about you on the OP blog. His/her comment at 2pm I believe is about you.

Posted by: for Nancy | September 4, 2008 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Alex,

Here's hoping that he has looked at his past performance at the box office and the possibilities that Tropic Thunder can provide and realized that the crazy needs to remain behind lock and key.

Posted by: petal | September 4, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Nancy, I'm so mean because people are so stupid.

Posted by: Stick | September 4, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

But when it came to solutions to America's myriad problems, Palin was noticeably lacking. And although she claimed to be as qualified as Obama to be president, Palin didn't tell us what exactly she would do as vice president, a job whose description she wasn't quite clear on just one month ago.

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

alex, I wish I'd seen Russell Brand on those shows--I agree, the guy is ... compelling. Stranger than fiction, but mesmerizing. There's an interview with him on the Sarah Marshal videos page of rotten tomatoes if you need a fix.

Posted by: hermespal | September 4, 2008 2:59 PM | Report abuse

I vote we determine an appropriate punishment for all these blog-ateurs my proposal for your choices:

1. (Conservative Vote) They have to run the "walking only" accident prevention drivers ed program for high schools across the country and are required by law to use Carrot Top in their educational skits.

2. (Independent Vote) They have to play dodgeball for eternity: Diane Keaton, Woody Allen and Mariah Carey are on their team, and they always lose.

3. (Liberal Vote) They have to be the personal assistant to Celine Dion and tithe their payroll to fund Scientology until Ron Hubbard returns.

Posted by: LTL now that's what I call democracy | September 4, 2008 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Carm down. The suburban, upper-middle class parents have the highest suicide rates. That's if they don't live long enough to get dumped into crappy nursing homes by their kids. It all comes out in the wash.

Posted by: Darwinism takes its course | September 4, 2008 1:57 PM

***
Just wanted to say that I am glad you all are still here. I've had to work, and took the family to a beautiful little Caribbean island before school started, and I thought of the Lizard Island.

I also feel compelled to chime in on a comment in the 12 o'clock hour about the unattended kids in the pool: That's how us regular people strengthen the gene pool! Unforunately, celebrities have the money to hire people to keep their kids out of trouble until they can breed (unfortunately).

Hey Nancy -- Please let us know what you find in Sasquatch's box! I'm sure if you have one, you can always use another.

I also had the EWWW reaction to the David Spade news! Everyone knows she did the "deed" with him. (yuck! - how could you not have used a Trojan - he's been around the block multiple times with some chicks that have been "ridden hard, and put away wet"!!)

At least with Clay Aiken, the "deed" doing was a huge question mark.

Posted by: anonymous lurker (having to work waaay too hard for her own good!) | September 4, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

At least with Clay Aiken, the "deed" doing was a huge question mark.

Posted by: anonymous lurker (having to work waaay too hard for her own good!) | September 4, 2008 3:13 PM

****************************************

Actually I think it was done with a turkey baster...

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

At least with Clay Aiken, the "deed" doing was a huge question mark.

Posted by: anonymous lurker (having to work waaay too hard for her own good!) | September 4, 2008 3:13 PM

****************************************

Actually I think it was done with a turkey baster...

Posted by: Dorkus | September 4, 2008 3:16 PM

***
Come November, let's hope he didn't put it back in the kitchen drawer when he was done.....

It's nice to know I don't have to worry about being invited to his crib for Thanksgiving. (I will be willing shelve all of my plans, and Mr. Lurker if George Clooney calls.)

Posted by: anonymous lurker | September 4, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Oh, Jesus Christ, Angelina and whomever is feeding these ridiculous stories to the press, SHUT UP. No one feels any sympathy for that nutcase. Millions of regular moms who do not have any luxuries suffer from postpartum depression, and some whack job nutcase with bazillions of dollars who can't stop breeding, doesn't eat and can't stay in one place for more than 5 minutes, then whines, is not exactly someone who arouses any sympathy.

Quit whining, stop breeding and stop adopting, take a deep breath and eat something. And shut up.

Posted by: Shut up, Angelina! | September 4, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

It's nice to know I don't have to worry about being invited to his crib for Thanksgiving. (I will be willing shelve all of my plans, and Mr. Lurker if George Clooney calls.)

Posted by: anonymous lurker | September 4, 2008 3:19 PM

well if you read the comments in the j.lo post, you might have to give clooney a "gift."

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

"My life is so bizarre, I never found that I needed to have an imagination," Carrie Fisher deadpans as she sits in a tiny Connecticut dressing room recently, resting after a performance of "Wishful Drinking," her autobiographical solo show...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/03/AR2008090303937.html?hpid=topnews

Posted by: Princess Leia is coming to town! | September 4, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

RE: Princess Leia is coming to town! | September 4, 2008 3:56 PM

===========================================

Queen Liz,

Did they pay you for that plug?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 4, 2008 4:32 PM | Report abuse

RE: Princess Leia is coming to town! | September 4, 2008 3:56 PM

===========================================

Queen Liz,

Did they pay you for that plug?

Posted by: Curmudgeon | September 4, 2008 4:32 PM

i wonder HOW they paid him. perhaps a special "gift."

Posted by: Anonymous | September 4, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, hermespal. I really just can't tear my eyes away from him. Between his appearance and his behavior, I just stare in amazement. (On Leno, he was all over Eva Longoria, and on Kimmel he discussed his drug habit and his former dealer, Gritty.) I don't know how much of it is real and how much is affectation, but I'm just enjoying the show.

****

LLL--hope you don't have any problems due to Hanna and, especially, Ike. (Ike's looking scary!)

Posted by: alex | September 4, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

oprah has a mother?

Posted by: janet stands stunned | September 4, 2008 7:17 PM | Report abuse

Hell, is this the one where Sasquatch has a surprise in the box for Nancy (again)?

Doesn't really matter, can't respond at work, but Celinedion, I about died laughing. Not that much of it had to do with celebritius, but just have to say, Celinedion! Had to cover my mouth, had to stifle the laughter and not you-know my pants. And not to get political, but Sarah Palin, Geez, what can I say? Indiana may be the back water, but some of us don't have Celinedion for brains. But then, I am probably misspelling every other word here. Over and out.

Posted by: GeezIndy | September 4, 2008 11:16 PM | Report abuse

i meant to say celebrititus, as in an addictive disease that is better than reading applications from people who cannot read

o- Susan Sarandon or however one spells her last name should be the last to talk about hillary whining. is it just me or are these obama-ites extremely thin skinned? i mean, i will vote for him because the alternative is really, really scary. just saying.

on celebrities- Lindsey can still act. i loved knocked up, but not sure it's all that great sitting behind the nominee for Repub Vice President.

Posted by: GeezIndy | September 4, 2008 11:26 PM | Report abuse

On SUSAN SARANDON: Yeah, she campaigned for Nader in 2000 because there was "no difference between Al Gore and George W. Bush" ---- so she can take here oh-so-astute views elsewhere.

Posted by: Catherine | September 5, 2008 10:25 AM | Report abuse

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