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Celebritology 2.0: October 26, 2008 - November 1, 2008

Hollywood Horrors: Ghoulish Gossip-Inspired Tales

Firestarter: Be careful when you summon the fire department to your next domestic emergency. Lingerie Firefighter from Hell may just answer your call. (AP) In observance of Halloween and all things spookified, today we consider these tales of depravity, which will leave your blood chilled and your brains addled. Proceed at your own risk. Mwah ha ha ha ha. Lady in the Water As much as we want to believe that celebrities are just like us, sometimes they are barking mad megalomaniacs who will stop at nothing and spare no cost to fulfill their ghastly desires. And what could be more frightening than filling a swimming pool with Kabbalah water? Don't ask Madonna, who apparently had plans to do just that before her split from Guy Ritchie earlier this month. The two were apparently in the midst of constructing the indoor pool at their English country home when they...

By Liz Kelly  | October 31, 2008; 10:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (32)
Categories:  Miscellaneous  
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Morning Mix: Madonna and A-Rod -- Together Again?

On Thursday, Sarah Jessica Parker joined other volunteers calling undecided voters at Barack Obama's campaign headquarters in New York. (AP) Headlines: Monday memorial service set for Jennifer Hudson's family... Hudson creates foundation for murder victim families... "Sick" Gwyneth Paltrow cancels appearance at Virginia Obama event... Michael Jackson says he won't be part of Jackson 5 reunion... Janet Jackson cancels Connecticut concert... Lindsay Lohan not gay, says girl expert Joe Francis... Russell Brand resigns from BBC radio show amid scandal... Jessica Simpson's new movie renamed, goes straight to DVD in U.S... Pete Wentz says Ashlee Simpson is ready to give birth... Supermodel Niki Taylor pregnant... Corey Haim engaged to "Princess of Scream"... Estelle Reiner (see her in action at the end of this clip) dead at 94... Celebs share sobriety stories in new book... Peter Frampton irate about stolen Obama yard signs (yet still OK with this)... Sienna Miller sues...

By Liz Kelly  | October 31, 2008; 8:32 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (44)
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Crossdressing Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Mmm Mmm Good!

The 'View' panelists in costume for Friday's Halloween show. (ABC/Steve Fenn) Dear "The View" Producers: I just wanted to thank you for the best Halloween present ever: the image of a cross-dressing butch Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I realize she's meant to look like Ronald Reagan -- the jelly beans kind of telegraphed that -- but I think we can agree she makes a better Clay Aiken than Gipper in this pic. Hasselbeck? Reagan? Aiken? (ABC/Steve Fenn) Hats off for putting this one past her. (Though I'm sure it wasn't too hard to coax her to dress as one of the Republican right's favorite hero.) I mean, really, surrounded by the elaborate costumes of her co-stars -- Barbara Walters as George Washington, Sherri Shepherd as Abe Lincoln, Joy Behar as Teddy Roosevelt and Whoopi Goldberg as Franklin Delano Roosevelt -- Hasselbeck comes off as a preternatural Promise Keeper who showed up...

By Liz Kelly  | October 30, 2008; 11:32 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (32)
Categories:  Celebrities, Miscellaneous  
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Morning Mix: Sitcom for Lilo, Brit and Paris?

Headlines: Tina Fey talks about meeting Sarah Palin (video)... Upbeat Patrick Swayze calls cancer battle "hell on wheels"... Janet Jackson cuts suggestive bit from Detroit show... Jenna Elfman slams Scientology critics... Others notice Jessica Simpson's bad outfit... Cloris Leachman signs on to new Brad Pitt movie... E! orders second season of Denise Richards's reality... Courteney Cox developing sitcom "Cougar Town" for ABC... Heidi Klum moves annual Halloween party to New York... A-listers (including British nationals Sacha Baron Cohen and Orlando Bloom) want you to vote: 5 More Friends Pix: Gwen Stefani debuts baby Zuma... Laila Ali and son Curtis... Linda Hogan carries teen-aged boyfriend's skateboard... Judi Dench rocks crystal "007" tattoo... Michael Jackson takes kids to Halloween shop. Crime Watch: Chicago police may have found gun used in Hudson family murders, say killer may have had accomplice; suspect reportedly refused lie detector test... Phil Spector murder retrial heats up....

By Liz Kelly  | October 30, 2008; 8:42 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (47)
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Jessica Simpson: Fashionably Late

It's a relatively slow day, celeb-news wise, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to rag on Jessica SImpson a little bit more. Earlier I shared the happy news that Jess has hit on her hands with "Major Movie Star" taking the number one spot at the Russian box office. While scanning the photo wires this morning, I happened upon this picture of Jess attending Macy's 150th anniversary celebration yesterday in New York. Ignoring for the moment the fact that she's got less reason than ever to walk a state-side red carpet, lets consider her outfit. (AP) While it is somewhat refreshing to see a C-lister taking her fashion cues from Lovey Howell, something about this getup overwhelms Jessica, threatening to envelop her spray-on tan in a swoosh of gray polyester and fur topped off with a sprinkle of cubic zirconia. I'm having trouble coming up with the perfect phrase...

By Liz Kelly  | October 29, 2008; 11:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (40)
Categories:  Fashion, Insta-Polls  
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Morning Mix: Britney's Dad to Control Her Finances Indefinitely

PETA activists protest outside the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen 'Influence' book signing at Barnes & Noble's Union Square book store on Tuesday in New York. (AP) Headlines: Dad Jamie given indefinite financial control of Britney Spears's finances (What does that mean?)... Offers pour in as Cloris Leachman finally voted off "Dancing with the Stars"... Robert Downey Jr. to play "Iron Man" in three more films... Elvis again ranked top-earning dead celebrity... Joaquin Phoenix says he's quitting acting to work on music... Jessica Simpson's "Major Movie Star" debuts at no. 1 in Russia... Hilary Duff channels '80s-era Madonna in new video... Hollywood Republicans (including Cliff Claven and Victoria Jackson. Who knew?) speak out against Al Franken... Beyonce unveils latest House of Dereon collection... Tracy Morgan credits Alec Baldwin with helping him quit drinking... Cookbook author sues Jerry Seinfeld for defamation... Carol Alt makes tearful court appearance in case against ex-husband......

By Liz Kelly  | October 29, 2008; 8:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (46)
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Annals of Bad Movies: Patrick Swayze's 'Road House'

We love Patrick Swayze so much around Celebritology HQ, that not only do we own a "Dirty Dancing" talking keychain, but we've subjected ourselves to most of the movies in his lengthly CV -- the good ("The Outsiders"), the bad ("Red Dawn") and the utterly cheesy (take your pick). It is in this spirit that a Swayze film becomes our first entrant in a new Celebritology category: The Annals of Bad Movies, in which we lovingly poke fun at our favorite celebs for some of their more questionable roles and recognize the value of those films as the great basis for an evening of campy fun with a group of friends. "Dirty Dancing" was a smash hit and elevated Patrick Swayze from the ranks of good looking ensemble player to leading man. With just six words -- "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" -- Swayze proved his mettle as a...

By Liz Kelly  | October 28, 2008; 11:30 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (38)
Categories:  Annals of Bad Movies  
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Morning Mix: Amy Winehouse Hospitalized Again

Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis at a Monday event in San Francisco benefiting Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Camp. (Getty Images) Headlines: Marilyn Manson, Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson top list of scariest celebrities... Scarier: Donnie and Marie Osmond extend Las Vegas show to 2010... Amy Winehouse hospitalized for chest infection... Michael Lohan apologizes for slandering Lilo gal pal Samantha Ronson... Ricky Gervais and Thandi Newton re-enact Sarah Palin-inspired porn on talk show (NSFW)... "Dancing with the Stars's" Julianne Hough to have appendix surgery... LL Cool J drops out of Janet Jackson tour... Diddy's twins endorse Obama, don't want to kiss daddy... New Christina Aguilera video debuts online... Led Zeppelin to tour without Robert Plant (PostRock, help!)... Pic: Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer hug at Friars Club... Keanu Reeves' civil trial (for allegedly menacing a paparazzo with his Porsche) begins. Crime Watch: Jennifer Hudson's nephew found dead... Simon...

By Liz Kelly  | October 28, 2008; 8:39 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (39)
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Comment Box: Who is Kerry Katona?

Can you give me a brief update on who Kerry Katona is, why she is/was famous and the whole morning show fiasco? -- Submitted to last week's Celebritology Live discussion I'm answering this because several readers actually posed this exact same question during last week's Celebritology Live chat and via e-mail. Ah, the power of YouTube, the Web and schadenfreude. To put Kerry Katona in a context we can understand, she's a less-tattooed version of fellow Brit Amy Winehouse and about as famous in the U.S. as Tara Reid would be in England. She's a one-time pop star with one minor hit to her credit who of late has emerged on England's celeb-reality scene, winning "I'm a Celebrity -- Get Me Out Of Here!" At 28, she's also a mother of four with a well-documented history of substance abuse. In an interview last week (for those who can get away...

By Liz Kelly  | October 27, 2008; 12:42 PM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (11)
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Morning Mix: Jennifer Hudson Offers $100K for Nephew's Return; Body Found Could Be Related to Case

Update, 10:17 a.m. ET: Police searching for Jennifer Hudson's missing nephew are investigating the body of a young boy found in an SUV this morning. As yet, there is no confirmation that the body is related to the case. For more details, see Crime Watch below. --- Elisabeth Hasselbeck takes the stage at a McCain-Palin campaign rally on Saturday in Kissimmee, Fla. (Getty Images) Headlines: Bono pictured carousing with teens in St. Tropez... Jerry Lewis in hot water again for saying cricket is for [insert gay slur here]...Angelina Jolie visits Afghan refugees... Tom Cruise roasts Matt Lauer, but Lauer gets the last word... Matt Damon campaigns for Obama in Florida... Elisabeth Hasselbeck introduces Sarah Palin at Florida rally (video)... Amy Poehler gives birth to son Archie Arnett... Foo Fighter Dave Grohl and wife expecting second child... Taylor Momsen returns to "Gossip Girl" set... Sarah Jessica Parker sports $250 stockings... Seth...

By Liz Kelly  | October 27, 2008; 7:58 AM ET  |  Permalink  |  Comments (33)
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