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Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 10/ 7/2008

Creative Captioning: Grace Jones, Vampire Hat

By Liz Kelly

Erstwhile actress, singer and model Grace Jones cut a bold figure when she arrived at Monday's annual Q music awards show in London where the 60-year-old former Bond girl was honored as a music icon. Never one to submit to the constraints of conformity, Jones seems to have hit upon a look that is equal parts Vegas vampire and evening burqa.


But enough preamble. You know the drill. Commit your winningest captions to Internet infamy below. The best of the best will be elevated to a place of prominence here in the blog and the tippy-top winning captioner will be awarded the utterly meaningless title of "Celebritology Captionologist of the Week." And, in the interest of making this a fairer process, don't stop at posting your own captions, but weigh in on which entries you think are the funniest/most fitting.

(Getty Images)

By Liz Kelly  | October 7, 2008; 10:45 AM ET
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Next: Morning Mix: Halle Berry Named Esquire's 'Sexiest Woman Alive'

Comments

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...Bat(ty)Girl!

Posted by: 23112 | October 7, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

No caption, I know I'm not clever enough for that, I just saw Grace Jones in this get up (though not this picture) on go fug yourself.
I was still laughing as I paged back to Celebritology home base and what do I see, Grace Jones. Ai caramba! Good pick, Liz Kelly.

Posted by: methinks | October 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Halle Berry, I'm'a mess you up, girl.

Posted by: byoolin | October 7, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

I vant to suck.

Posted by: Bawlmer | October 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

Heading straight to the honors from her plastic surgeons, Grace Jones opted for this eye-catching and covering bat mask.

OR

You mean Mardi Gras is in February?

OR

I would have gone to New Orleans instead but that weird Pitt-Jolie clan is there.

Posted by: ep | October 7, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

To the bat cave!

Posted by: Em | October 7, 2008 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
[bonk]

(the monks from Holy Grail who bonk themselves with boards during the chant).

Posted by: Em has another | October 7, 2008 11:09 AM | Report abuse

You mean the cockroach look isn't in this year?

or

Tom Cruise said I could pick up the alien transmissions with these.

or

Grace Jones' mask sends out the unmistakable signal of "May Day"

Posted by: Dorkus | October 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

"Isn't this the right place for the 'Spiderman 12: Return Of The Flea' auditions?"

Posted by: yellojkt | October 7, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Strange' is back!

Posted by: roya | October 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Report abuse

Disco Burka

Posted by: ssg | October 7, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

I am Grace Jones. I don't need a caption.

Posted by: Chasmosaur | October 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Report abuse

Sorry, that's Strangé is back!

Posted by: roya | October 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

man, i got nothing.

i like "disco burka"

Posted by: b | October 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones shows there is no reason one can't be "fabulous" the day after even as one suffers from under eye bags and a bad hair day.

Posted by: hodie | October 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Former Bond girl Grace Jones auditions for the upcoming Fox live-action remake of the cult classic The Tick.

Posted by: BxNY | October 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Top THIS, Cher!

Posted by: Nosy Parker | October 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Oh I wish I had a handlebar eyelash...

Posted by: Buffettfan | October 7, 2008 12:09 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones' mask sends out the unmistakable signal of "May Day"

Posted by: Dorkus | October 7, 2008 11:11 AM
*******

Disco Burka

Posted by: ssg | October 7, 2008 11:45 AM
**********

My two faves thus far.

Posted by: methinks | October 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

"...and your little dog too!"

Posted by: sb | October 7, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

If Science could create a love child for RuPaul and Darth Vader...

Posted by: xyz | October 7, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

In an effort to promote "going green" Grace Jones dons an outfit of the future.

The ever crafty Grace Jones models her new invention the hat rack slash night mask.

Grace Jones show blatant disregard for the take one thing off before leaving the house rule.

Posted by: petal | October 7, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I like Disco Burka

Posted by: Ash | October 7, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

To be 60 years old, I think she looks great.

Posted by: Melody | October 7, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

Before anyone pounces, "burqa" can be spelled "burka". Also, "burkha" and "burqua".

Posted by: methinks | October 7, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus wins hands down with the reference to Jones' Bond Girl name.

Posted by: Ariabob | October 7, 2008 1:06 PM | Report abuse

Tuning in Tokyo!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 1:10 PM | Report abuse

You want to know how Dennis Kucinich contacted the aliens? This is how!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Dan Rather knows my frequency, Kenneth!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

"It all began with that horrid colour of eyeliner and fake eyelashes..."

Posted by: Mrs. Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 1:17 PM | Report abuse

What? England has Halloween on the same day as America? Then why is Canada having Thankgiving next Monday?

Posted by: just sayin' | October 7, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Disco burka

AND

handbar eyelash

made me laugh out loud.

Posted by: Kelli | October 7, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones learns after regressive hypnotherapy, that she is actually the ancient Egyptian Goddess, Ba.

Posted by: hodie | October 7, 2008 1:22 PM | Report abuse

"Grace Jones Stands Aside While She Waits For The Potion To Kick-in"

Posted by: Curmudgeon | October 7, 2008 1:46 PM | Report abuse

"You mean they're not filming the next Batman yet?"

Posted by: EricS | October 7, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Hey! I can hang my own "Mission Accomplished" banner between my flagpoles!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Dave Chappelle walks the red carpet in preparation for his next role: I'm Grace Jones b*&ch!

Posted by: Magnolia | October 7, 2008 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones simultaneously indicates the width of Tyra Banks's forehead and dares her to tell her to smile with her eyes.

Posted by: Magnolia | October 7, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

Michael's vitiligo ain't nothing compare to what I have!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse


Before anyone pounces, "burqa" can be spelled "burka". Also, "burkha" and "burqua".

Posted by: methinks | October 7, 2008 12:47 PM
=================================

Keep this in mind whilst playing Scrabble.

Posted by: jelo | October 7, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

(Grace's new business card)

Grace Jones
Water Divining Expert

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

If Science could create a love child for RuPaul and Darth Vader...

Posted by: xyz | October 7, 2008 12:38 PM


As they say on Little Britain, "I want that one."

Posted by: Catalina | October 7, 2008 2:41 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones show blatant disregard for the take one thing off before leaving the house rule.

Posted by: petal | October 7, 2008 12:39 PM
------

Grace Jones simultaneously indicates the width of Tyra Banks's forehead and dares her to tell her to smile with her eyes.

Posted by: Magnolia | October 7, 2008 2:13 PM
-----

my favorites so far :) This one seems to be a toughie.

Posted by: Anonymous | October 7, 2008 2:45 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones takes the Amy Winehouse eyeliner trend a bit too far...

Posted by: stefs624 | October 7, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

"With my antennae I can hear London calling...."

Posted by: b | October 7, 2008 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Jones replies: "why yes I am a taurus, why do you ask?"

Posted by: sjcpeach | October 7, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones goes head to head with Dish TV!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Honey, I was doing Goth before you were born.

Posted by: bahston | October 7, 2008 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Xenu?

Posted by: Anonymous | October 7, 2008 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones does her part for the world economy by trying to inspire a bull market.

Posted by: Dorkus watching his 401k disappear... | October 7, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Are you sure this is a Wi-Fi Hot spot?? I got nuthin'

Posted by: Chase | October 7, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Honey, I was doing Goth before you were born.

Posted by: bahston | October 7, 2008 2:55 PM

Good one, bahston!
I also love Disco Burka.

Posted by: hodie | October 7, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

A late entrant in Pamplona's "Running of the Bulls"

Posted by: dc-ista | October 7, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

Phantom of the Insectarium

Posted by: possum | October 7, 2008 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones, ready to impale if you don't "Pull Up to the Bumper"

Posted by: jen | October 7, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Heavy eyelids - talk about needing an eyelid lift!

Posted by: yow-za | October 7, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

Do these antennae make my butt look big?

Posted by: C'mon, it's practically obligatory. | October 7, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

You know those flag cars that come before a tall and wide load?

Watch out baby! I'm tall and wide and coming thru!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse


Dave Chappelle walks the red carpet in preparation for his next role: I'm Grace Jones b*&ch!

Posted by: Magnolia | October 7, 2008 2:12 PM

Posted by: Sasquatch sez "We have a winner!" | October 7, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

The new model 802.11GJ wireless router is portable, requires no electricity, and can shrivel grapes with a glare.

Posted by: Walken N. Thuhrain | October 7, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Disco Burka

Top THIS, Cher!

Dan Rather knows my frequency, Kenneth!

(Hey, bonus point for the oblique REM reference!)

Posted by: Elias says you are wrong Sas | October 7, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

Slave to the Fashion

Posted by: spartan | October 7, 2008 3:42 PM | Report abuse

Time traveler Grace Jones arrives a decade late to her audition for "Eyes Wide Shut".

Posted by: Grace: 1999 | October 7, 2008 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones to star in the remake of "The Lone Ranger." Amy Winehouse rumored to play Tonto.

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 3:53 PM | Report abuse

If Science could create a love child for RuPaul and Darth Vader...

Grace Jones learns after regressive hypnotherapy, that she is actually the ancient Egyptian Goddess, Ba.

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
[bonk] (points for Monty Python reference)

And Disco Burka


Posted by: vote early, vote often | October 7, 2008 3:59 PM | Report abuse

"I thought this was the proper way to feng shui my face."

OR

"I should have told my designer I was letting her go AFTER she selected my outfit for tonight."

OR

"I'm so clever. Now NObody will see those horrible bags under my eyes. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"

Posted by: flutterbyjen | October 7, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Jaye Davidson's been sneaking testosterone injections again...

Posted by: Fergus | October 7, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

oh! one more came to mind:

"I knew this old curtain would work as a good stand-by for my wig. I'll be starting a new trend, and they'll call it the wiGrace. Everybody will remember it when they see my logo on the packaging (worn here for dramatic effect on the memory)."

Posted by: flutterbyjen | October 7, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

The makeup artist has her revenge!

Posted by: Beth | October 7, 2008 4:15 PM | Report abuse

"trick or treat!"

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 4:19 PM | Report abuse

Dan Rather knows my frequency, Kenneth!

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 1:15 PM

------------------------------

Posted by: Sasquatch sez "We got another winner!" | October 7, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse

Time traveler Grace Jones arrives a decade late to her audition for "Eyes Wide Shut".

Posted by: Grace: 1999 | October 7, 2008 3:43 PM

Grace Jones to star in the remake of "The Lone Ranger." Amy Winehouse rumored to play Tonto.

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 3:53 PM

Posted by: Sasquatch sez, "Two more winners!" | October 7, 2008 4:23 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps Google's ad execs should've been forced to solve a set of math problems before unleashing the spokesmodel for the new Mail Goggles tool.

Posted by: One-Eyed N. Squinting | October 7, 2008 4:24 PM | Report abuse

"If I could just find the key to this mask...."

Grace overheard talking to Liz.

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones gets into character before covering Mick Jagger's "Sympathy for the Devil."

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the "Queen B|tch Jungle Mother of Jew York".

Posted by: Sasquatch | October 7, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

Grace, in a flash of genius: Robert Kearns promised that his next patent would fix these.


Welcome home, Sas. Hope you're all tan and rested. Or at least fat and, ba-dum, sassy.

Posted by: Nosy Parker | October 7, 2008 4:34 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones shows what happens when you don't get your eyebrows plucked often enough.

Posted by: Dorkus | October 7, 2008 4:38 PM | Report abuse

Hasn't Grace read the news lately? She should have on her bear mask.

Posted by: possum | October 7, 2008 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Mommy, are those moose antlers?

Posted by: Piper Palin | October 7, 2008 4:45 PM | Report abuse

If this doesn't get me a gig on "Dancing with the Stars," that stylist is fired, I tell you.

Posted by: 44west | October 7, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

AIG executives today told a special house of Representatives Committee that they would refund their bonuses after Chairman Henry Waxman told the executives that the government has retained Grace Jones to personally give each AIG executive a "special" bonus.

Posted by: Sasquatch | October 7, 2008 4:50 PM | Report abuse

remember me?? gotta get on perez somehow

Posted by: jen | October 7, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Dennis Rodman announced today that he will join the WWE, wrestling as super-villain "Staple Head."

Posted by: Nick | October 7, 2008 5:02 PM | Report abuse

Are you sure this is a Wi-Fi Hot spot?? I got nuthin'

Posted by: Chase | October 7, 2008 3:07 PM
__________
another good one.

Posted by: methinks | October 7, 2008 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Michelle Obama counters the Sarah Palin, Wonder Woman campaign by revealing herself as Wonder Woman's nemesis, The Mask.

(See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Wonder_Woman_enemies)

Posted by: Sasquatch | October 7, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

Environmentalist Grace Jones prepares for the coming switch to digital television by finding new uses for her television's antenna.

Posted by: Snarky Squirrel | October 7, 2008 5:22 PM | Report abuse

Excellent Snark, Squirrel.

Posted by: Sasquatch | October 7, 2008 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones emerges from seclusion girded for battle with the viciously chipper Sarah Palin...

Posted by: Fruitfly | October 7, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse

She was my favorite Bond girl. I especially loved the scene where she and 007 first get it on, and he starts to get on top, and she grabs him, lifts him up, throws him down and takes over! The look on his face was priceless!

Posted by: CJB | October 7, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse

"Grace Jones, always on the cutting edge of fashion, introduces a hair weave style for the new millenium."

Posted by: CJB | October 7, 2008 5:32 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones introduces the first item in her new "warm leatherette" clothing line: a hangover eye mask, useful after a long night of clubbing.

Posted by: CJB | October 7, 2008 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Grace models her new "curb feelers." Perfect for those stars taking drug or alcohol induced trips to the gutter.

Posted by: Elias Howe | October 7, 2008 5:53 PM | Report abuse

"Boo!"


(just plain, "Boo!")

Posted by: Curmudgeon | October 7, 2008 6:02 PM | Report abuse

What all celebrities would be wearing if Rachel Zoe's ascerbic assistant, Taylor Jacobson, were in charge.

Posted by: MoCoSnarky | October 7, 2008 6:08 PM | Report abuse

Grace Jones models the hands-free interface of the next generation Iphone.

Posted by: Sasquatch | October 7, 2008 6:22 PM | Report abuse

cue go-go drum solo from extended remix*

"Slave to the Burqa...heeeeeeere's Grace!"

Posted by: SportzNut21 | October 7, 2008 6:41 PM | Report abuse

One of the signs of the end of days: Giant cockroaches impersonating D list celebrities.

Posted by: bflogirl | October 7, 2008 7:27 PM | Report abuse

She is 60 years old! I'd like to see how you haters look at 60.

Posted by: cd | October 7, 2008 7:37 PM | Report abuse

That's "Miss Janet" if you look as nasty as I do thanks to this bug I picked up from Jermaine Dupri.

Posted by: td | October 7, 2008 7:52 PM | Report abuse

I'm fine, thanks, just picked up a little bug from Jermaine Dupri the other day.

Posted by: td tries to vary the theme | October 7, 2008 7:54 PM | Report abuse

You can't stand salmonella, ella, ella, eh eh eh.

Posted by: td switches to rihanna now | October 7, 2008 7:57 PM | Report abuse

Well Mr. Wonder, the good news is that after the surgery you can now see. The bad news, um, well, how do I explain this. . . .

Posted by: td figures no one is reading this now anyway, so he might as well go for broke | October 7, 2008 8:00 PM | Report abuse

Finally I can tell Tia from Tamera.

Hail Scary, full of Grace.

Me and Miss, Miss Jones -- we got a sting going on.

Maybe She's Born With It. Maybe It's Maybelline.

Posted by: td is done now | October 7, 2008 8:08 PM | Report abuse

"Hail Scary, full of Grace."

Excellent, td, excellent!

Thanks for hanging in there past the 9 to 5.

Posted by: 44west | October 7, 2008 8:21 PM | Report abuse

"Tweeze? What's tweeze?"

Posted by: Jefe | October 8, 2008 12:54 AM | Report abuse

Jackson Publick asked Grace Jones to field-test a new Venture Bros. character concept. I think it's for The Monarch's "Aunty" (In-Law). Could also represent one of The Monarch's new hench-women -- a new hench contingency apparently formed at the behest of the Monarch's beloved Dr. Girlfriend.

Posted by: Guild of Calamitous Intent | October 8, 2008 3:39 AM | Report abuse

I liked "top this, Cher! It's the only one that made me smile!

Posted by: rkrush | October 8, 2008 8:03 AM | Report abuse

Obama Girl II

Posted by: Right Winger | October 8, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

Look at me, I'm Grace Jones. What did you expect? Khakis and trainers?

Posted by: anon forever | October 8, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

i know i'm late to this but....

"Hi I'm Grace Jones and this is my Night Elf Vampire"

Posted by: Quintilus Varus | October 8, 2008 12:50 PM | Report abuse

Ant-akin Streetwalker: Lady of the Spliff

Posted by: Mace Woohoo | October 8, 2008 5:58 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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