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Posted at 11:59 AM ET, 10/23/2008

Creative Captioning: Heigl + Dog = Captioning Gold

By Liz Kelly
Creative Captions

What is it about the confluence of animals and celebrities that makes for particularly fertile Celebritology material? We've trod this ground before: with Vincent Pastore and a ridiculously cute kitten, misguided Aubrey O'Day and her fashion abused dog Ginger and Diddy's unfortunate collision with a pile of dog doody. Truly, I remember those cuddly, cutified posts as some of my favorites. Maybe not the Diddy one, so much. But suddenly I understand the genius of "The Soup's" Lou the Chihuahua.

The latest celebrity to go to the dogs? Katherine Heigl. As you can see below, the "Grey's Anatomy" and "Knocked Up" star took along one of her four dogs to an L.A. opening for designer Peter Alexander's new store. Is it a lame attempt at image rehab considering her penchant for dissing pretty much everything and everyone who made her the star she is? Nice try, Kat. We'll see if forcing your dog into a parka smooths things over with Judd Apatow.


(Getty Images)

You know the drill. The top five or so captions will be elevated to a place of prominence in the blog and the cleverest captioner will be accorded all due sucking up. And, please, don't let comment registration stop you from posting your entries.

By Liz Kelly  | October 23, 2008; 11:59 AM ET
Categories:  Creative Captioning  
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Comments

Which b!tch can open her mouth wider?

(Nosy Parker is feeling tremendous SMAME over this comment).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 23, 2008 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Grandma, what big teeth you have!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 23, 2008 2:16 PM | Report abuse

No caption but that dog is either trying to escape or bite her face off. I would support both. Poor thing, not only is he dressed in a parka, but his owner is the Heigl thing.

Posted by: epjd | October 23, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

"I just spent the day chewing your shoes, destroying your carpet and peeing on Josh Kelley. And yet people think I'm still more grateful than you."

Posted by: Bawlmer | October 23, 2008 2:19 PM | Report abuse

By the way, that last quote was supposed to be coming from the dog.

Posted by: Bawlmer | October 23, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl finally finds a costar to match her acting pedigree.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | October 23, 2008 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Wah! Wah! Wah! Sarah Palin's dog got a designer parka thanks to the RNC, but all I get is this cheap knock-off.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | October 23, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Refusing to let anyone steal her spotlight, the self-absorbed b!tch had to prove her mouth is bigger than her dog's.

Posted by: wprtf | October 23, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

OH YEAH! Bite me!

Posted by: DLDx | October 23, 2008 2:47 PM | Report abuse

Hey, is my breath ok?

Posted by: hodie | October 23, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

This parka is big enough for a collie and olive green does NOTHING for my coloring. And do not get me started on the giant star on my butt! Owe, the caninity!

Posted by: 44west | October 23, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Hahaha my pretty, I've finally got your little dog...

Posted by: MStreet1 | October 23, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

OOOOOOOOOO-klahoma where the dogs dress up like Eskimos

Posted by: rashibama | October 23, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Heigl demonstrates her dog's new trick: Open your mouth and say something stupid! Good boy!

Posted by: sjcpeach | October 23, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

After learning of her firing from Grey's Anatomy for her Emmy comments, Katherine Heigl begins training for her new career of placing a lions head in her mouth, by first trying the technique on her poor little dog.

Posted by: Iowahoosier | October 23, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

I'm so happy I finally got in I forgot my comment. Oh yeah.

Eager to improve her acting chops Heigl takes method acting courses.

Posted by: petalceleb | October 23, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl and her dog Muttybuddy announce that he will not appear in any American Kennel Club dog shows this year, citing a decline in the quality of treats provided to competitors.

Posted by: byoolin1 | October 23, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

Both parties show a suddent realization that Katherine was indeed touching her dog "there".

Posted by: kl3cb | October 23, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl's one-woman ventriloquism show, "Meet Charlie McBarky," has closed after only two previews. Critics cited poor material and Ms. Heigl's inability to keep her mouth closed - especially while her puppet 'talked' - as major flaws.

Posted by: byoolin1 | October 23, 2008 3:22 PM | Report abuse

"I can't tell: are you spayed, or neutered?"

Posted by: byoolin1 | October 23, 2008 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Dog: "Yummy! A leather chew toy!"

Heigl: "Not my Chanel purse! You stupid mutt!"

Posted by: mdreader01 | October 23, 2008 3:25 PM | Report abuse

Does this work?

Posted by: Amelia5 | October 23, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Heigl's dog began barking and snapping after the actress explained that he is dressed as Todd Palin for Halloween.

Posted by: mdreader01 | October 23, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Why do you ask, two dogs?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | October 23, 2008 3:35 PM | Report abuse

Fido Heigl learning of his Golden Globe Best Actor win for "Knocked Up 2: Expecting a Litter". The next day Fido was seen peeing on his trophy, citing the movie's poor writing and denigrating depiction of dogs.

Posted by: kai429 | October 23, 2008 3:37 PM | Report abuse

"Heigl Attempts to Wrestle Her Killer Poofie-dog to the Ground Before Further Damage Is Done"

Posted by: LizardCurmudgeon | October 23, 2008 3:40 PM | Report abuse

"My breath smells like this because I lick my butt, what's your excuse?"

Posted by: MStreet1 | October 23, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl and her dog pose in a publicity promo shot for their upcoming movie, "Nanooki of the North."

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | October 23, 2008 4:00 PM | Report abuse

Can't beat "wptrf". Nominate for Caption of the Week

Posted by: reddragon1 | October 23, 2008 4:00 PM | Report abuse

Heigl and dog Scotty after his audition for the lead dog role in "Snow Dogs 2". Scotty, known to be a Diva-Dog, insists on only Eukanuba, unlimited Milkbones, Perrier in the waterdish and a body double for those sled-pulling scenes.

Posted by: hodie | October 23, 2008 4:08 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer's two-fer takes it. I got nothing.

Posted by: northgs | October 23, 2008 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Suffering through her latest attempt to quit smoking, in a manic moment Katherine Heigl mistakes her terrier for a piece of nicorette.

Posted by: megtheegg | October 23, 2008 4:17 PM | Report abuse

She promply removes herself from consideration for "B*tch of the Year".

Posted by: LTL1 | October 23, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

ps YAY I am in!!! and I still love Cannavaro... so you know it's ME!

Posted by: LTL1 | October 23, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse

Unlike McSteamy or McDreamy, McSchnauzie actually manages to get to "first base."

Posted by: Curmudgeon- | October 23, 2008 4:26 PM | Report abuse

The truth about Kats and Dog 2

Posted by: sanyuj | October 23, 2008 4:33 PM | Report abuse

The b*tch's outfit is cute. I like the dogs outfit as well.

Posted by: buffysummers | October 23, 2008 4:35 PM | Report abuse

You're not the only one in Hollywood who wants to bite my head off!

Posted by: danimette | October 23, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

"Actually, it's pronounced Heigel. Say it with me now. Hei...."

Posted by: Roxie1 | October 23, 2008 5:10 PM | Report abuse

I vote for MStreet1:

"My breath smells like this because I lick my butt, what's your excuse?"

or how about

"I know you are, but what am I?"

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover | October 23, 2008 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Heigle: "No, I can't return to Antar now - I haven't dissed the Academy Awards yet!"

schnauzer/alien hybrid: "Don't worry, they'll dis you first!"

Posted by: schnitz108 | October 23, 2008 6:49 PM | Report abuse

After getting shut out of the Grace Jones photo captions, I got nuthin' for ya!

But if I did, it would go something like this: "you peed on me, you wretched little doggie, just wait 'til I pee on you!

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 7:51 PM | Report abuse

Ooohhhhh! Little doggie, you ARE going "commando" today! It feels like fun. I will do it tomorrow.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:03 PM | Report abuse

Happiness is peeing in a dark suit, not a blue dress. Those are reserved for WJC.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:15 PM | Report abuse

My canines are bigger than yours! (you know, the teeth!)

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:17 PM | Report abuse

test

Posted by: Amelia5 | October 23, 2008 8:17 PM | Report abuse

she's touching me in a bad place!!! :(
whine!!! whine!!! whine!!!

even Michael Jackson wasn't this touchy feely with me :(

Posted by: flutterbyjen | October 23, 2008 8:25 PM | Report abuse

Damn, that was a funny joke. Now if you can only tell it in English!

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:29 PM | Report abuse

Pretty funny joke in Doggie but it's Lost in Translation.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:31 PM | Report abuse

You do have a pooper-scooper handy? Right?

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:35 PM | Report abuse

Heeeeeeeeeeeey! We just won first prize on Groomer Has It!

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:38 PM | Report abuse

Katherine and the dog both respond to a ultra-high frequency whistle nailing that audition for the new role on "Heros."

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 8:40 PM | Report abuse

What is curiously absent from this story is the mention of the dog's boyfriend who goes by the stage name of "Fred." For more on him, consult

http://writingfrontier.com/2008/10/12/smart-dog/

Posted by: jheubusch | October 23, 2008 8:53 PM | Report abuse

showing off her alien/reptile live rodent eating skilz, Katherine hopes to get cast in the upcoming remake of 'V'

Posted by: osulliva | October 23, 2008 8:59 PM | Report abuse

"Too late, Katherine Heigl questioned the wisdom behind Botox treatments for her AND her dog..."

Posted by: andywoho002 | October 23, 2008 9:06 PM | Report abuse

Determined to put to rest rumours about her anorexia, a confused Katherine Heigl prepares to heed advice to eat a hot dog.

-signed, the Poster Formerly Known as Snarky Squirrel

Posted by: 7900rmc | October 23, 2008 9:21 PM | Report abuse

Just borrowed this dress from Monica and it's already stained.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 9:53 PM | Report abuse

After the success of "Clueless" a few years back, Amy Heckerling takes a stab at a remaking another classic, transporting Toto and Dorothy to SoCal. Katherine Heigl stars in "The Wizard of Ojai."

"How do you do, Fraulein Rottenweiller?" "You silly Heidi, I am Fraulein Schnauzer!"

When I bite into a Yorkie Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of being on a snowy mountain, in a sleeveless dress, coveting my dog's warm parka.

"You'll wonder where your dignity went / When you brush your teeth with Pet-sodent!”

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 23, 2008 10:04 PM | Report abuse

"Well well well, Scraps is a boy dog, isn't he?"

"No no no, not a lap DOG, I said I wanted a lapTOP!"

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 23, 2008 10:23 PM | Report abuse

"What is it Lassie? You say my future Emmy chances fell down a well?"

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 23, 2008 10:27 PM | Report abuse

"I can b!tch, I can b!tch, 'cause I'm blonder than you. It's the way that I groove, the things that I poo, whoa-oa-oa."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 23, 2008 10:36 PM | Report abuse

Katherine Heigl and dog Marianbarry star in "B!tch Picked Me Up."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | October 23, 2008 10:43 PM | Report abuse

Your name is Hatherine Keigl? Now that is funny!

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 10:53 PM | Report abuse

Having found Toto, Dorothy now looks for the missing hand basket.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 11:07 PM | Report abuse

Katherine and her dog sings the Karaoke version of "Devil with the Blue Dress On."

Posted by: elias_howe | October 23, 2008 11:09 PM | Report abuse

The Dog: Please stop the killer clown from choking the life out of me.

Posted by: bigdog1969 | October 23, 2008 11:19 PM | Report abuse

Cine-star Hungers!!!!

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | October 24, 2008 1:15 AM | Report abuse

Ooo! Ooo! This AM's "Morning Mix" provides the perfect caption! "Katherine Heigl snorts cocaine off her dog."

Posted by: reddragon1 | October 24, 2008 7:39 AM | Report abuse

D*mn, your hands are COLD!!!

Posted by: RightWinger1 | October 24, 2008 8:05 AM | Report abuse

OH MY GOD!! WHERE'S YOUR OTHER ARM!!!

Posted by: RightWinger1 | October 24, 2008 8:06 AM | Report abuse

"We are! We are! The DNA proves it!" the dog and the woman shriek in delight when told that they are confirmed as progeny of Toto and Dorothy.

Posted by: elias_howe | October 24, 2008 1:35 PM | Report abuse

You know how they say dogs resemble their owners....?

Posted by: eet7e | October 24, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Watch what you hand to a rail-thin Hollywood actress. They get hungry.

Posted by: otherliz | October 24, 2008 4:16 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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