Morning Mix: Madonna and Guy Ritchie Continue Public Sparring

Yikes, Tomkat! It's not that Tom wants a man - he wants his identical twin. That's what he's been turning Katie into!!

I only eat buckwheat pancakes and tuna on my macrame placemnat while I'm jammin' out to the Doobie Brothers on my hi-fi.

So Tom is what, 4'6" tall? They look like they are rehearsing a reverse drag production of Guys and Dolls.

"We're hoping this will cut down on spammers, denial of service attacks and general mayhem perpetrated by virtual jackbooted thugs."

Oh, brother!!!

Linda Hogan still dating 19-year-old...

Go Linda!!!!

And, uh, Lil' Wayne? What's up with the baby being born - but no relationship with mother? Is this a Ricky Martin/Michael Jackson situation?

I feel like I need to shower every time I read about the Hogan family.

Delta Burke glamorous? Are we including the Designing Women years?

"Guy called her old, fat, ugly and wrinkled and said that she was stupid and couldn't sing," another Madonna pal tells Us.

-Finally someone said what we were all thinking about Madge.

Guy was upset about Rocco wearing a Yankees jersey? Who knew Guy was such a Red Sox fan?

I'm not even going to touch on the Hoff video game, at this point the Hoff is starting to hit Shatneresque territory.

Charlie Sheen and wife expecting twin boys. Great. In eight months, every time Charlie says he was "playing with the twins" we'll have to try and figure out the double entendre.

Will they temporarily rename the show "How I Met Your Mother - No, not *her*"?

Lil' Wayne welcomes son Dwayne Carter III... or, "Lil'-er Wayne," as he'll be called.

Effing brilliant department: "[A] player can take a virtual Hasselhoff – replete with a Knight Rider jump suit emblazoned with "The Hoff" on the back – though a series of collisions and pratfalls and score points for how much pain they can make the onetime German pop star endure." The Hoff singing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" is gravy.

Delta Burke, Kathy Hilton? What, did Barbara Billingsley reject your endorsement?

Perhaps George Takei's invitation to Shatner is still in the transporter buffer. Once Scotty gets the shields down he can divert power and bring it in.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie seem intent on showing Basinger and Baldwin how it's really done, don't they?

LiLo's friend's defense of her alleged on-set stunt: "Lindsay wears underwear all the time now." *Now.*

The thing that worries those elementary school parents is that MJ's house is being refurbished to look exactly like the school.

And registration is now turned on.

Lil' Dwayne Wayne?

I guess Jay Leno doesn't mess around when it comes to people f-ing with his cars, huh?

Welcome to the post-registration comment thread.

If you're a registered post.com user, signed in and still having trouble posting your comments I'm told by our tech gurus to clear your browser's cookies. -- Liz

What's all this hatin' on Madge? I don't think she's fat!

Are they saying I have to toss my cookies? --Nosy Parker

I'm just wondering if Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof are going to name their child "Willow" if it's a girl, or "Wesley" if it's a boy. (yes, that was a joke...)

test, test.

well what do you know...after hours of trying to get signed in my "test" post makes it. i'm a regular but now i have a new nom du blog and i guess i'll have to reinvent myself. how did you guys get to keep your names? did you re-register?

the picture of tom & katie is just plain creepy.

I've been yellojkt since my Prodigy account in 1992. That way it's easy to remember who I am.

And let's see if and how they write pregnancy into HIMYM. Allyson is too much a slip of a girl to hide behind couch cushions for a whole season.

Well, the switch to registered comments is not happening without a few hiccups. I'm holding off on posting today's main post -- a Creative Captioning pic -- because the best part of those posts is your input. We may need to save it for once things stabilize here.

I'm in! I posted without problems on another registration-required site; maybe that's what it takes. I tried long enough to post here before that without success.

Anyway, Gwyneth continues to impress me. She's so insouciant, even her sandwiches sing!

I think you're on to something mat00. I wasn't able to post here until I clicked a registration 'button' at the comment section of another WaPo blog. This site doesn't have that button.

Letting Rocco wear the A-Rod tshirt was very bad form. I think from here on out Madonna should ask herself, "WWGD" or What Would Gwyneth Do?

Will this work?

Can I post yet?

That feels better.

Thanks pras40. I've been trying all morning getting absolutely no work done. Let's see if this works.

Well, there you have it - if you comment on another WaPo site, then you can comment here. Celebritologists need to be well-rounded, after all.

It worked. I signed in over on the capital weather gang blog (what you thougth I only snarked on celebrities?).

Can we snip Charlie Sheen now? He is entering herd territory with the number of kids he has.

The MJ thing creeps me out. I woudl change schools.

Apparently being insouciant means not having to use proper grammar. Yeah, I might have spelled insouciant wrong, but after what I went through just being to post I don't care. It's a freaking blog, not a memo to the boss.

And resourceful!

For those of you who think you're registered but still can't post or have never been asked to choose a post name during registration, Achenblog has one of those buttons that pras40 mentioned. Worked beautifully.

Wow, it worked! Thanks for the workaround, everybody! Maybe the Washingtonpost.com tech gurus can put one of those registration buttons right here.

Now, for my comment:

Liz, you buried the lede -- Madonna is bigger than Jesus! Poor Guy -- kind of hard to compete with The Divine.

Hey hodie, glad you were able to log in. Were you already hodie or were you able to change your name? I'd like to go back to my old name, but can't figure out how and don't want to upset this precarious registration maze thingy.

I hope this works...

Speaking of those who can't spell....someone may have to help luvjen. I'm dying to know what she says about the pregnancy rumors. You know if the reps are denying it, it must be true.

Way to go Madge, using your son as ammunition. I'm sure the scars will be minor.

Buckwheat pancakes and tuna...Mmmm, I'll pass as I don't care for cardboard and I'm cutting back on my mercury exposure. Explains why starlets who eat like Gwen tend to be anorexic fruitcakes.

oohlala! Beckham AND an Italian Soccer team? I think I will resume my daydreaming now.

Woohoo! Success!! Thanks to Liz and all of you for the tips. I was freaking out a little bit, not being able to snark.

But now I don't remember what I was going to snark about in the first place...

Kathy Hilton must have really loved Delta during her hoarding phase a few years back. Nothing says glamour like the contents of a discount store crammed into your living room.

Tom, for the love of all that is holy (or Xenu) would you please just open the closet door and step out now?

pras 40, when I originally registered way back when, I was never asked for a name that I can remember. When I went to the post section on the Achenblog, I pushed the register button and my email address was listed as my postname. I changed it to back to hodie and here I am. I would think you could change yours too. Who were you BR (before registration?)

Did I keep the jelo?

The Achenblog trick worked. Thanks hodie.

Huzzah! We're back.

And Nosy, you should only toss your cookies if you're on the new 90210.

Thanks for the shout-out, Bawlmer! Glad to see everyone's starting to get the hang of registration, so I won't feel so lonely here. However, I'm just starting to eat lunch. in preparation for this week's Celebritology chat, so would rather not think about cookie-tossing just now.

P.S. Never thought I'd seen white tails, 'do rag and golfing gloves combined into one outfit. Madonna's backup dancers have to be ready for anything.

hodie, and others, i was methinks and unfortunately i won't be able to change my name back to it since when i registered at the site a million or so years ago, the site grabbed the name on my email for my user ID.
according to the FAQ, they don't have the capability to let me change my name. i could make an avatar or load a picture, but i can't change my name. that's a little whack if you ask me but i'll be a big girl and just be pras40. durn.

Oops, that's "see", not "seen."

yellojkt
And let's see if and how they write pregnancy into HIMYM. Allyson is too much a slip of a girl to hide behind couch cushions for a whole season.

I recall that on "Cheers" they managed to conceal zipper-thin Shelley Long's pregnancy in part by having her wear aprons a lot.

hey methinks/pras 40, maybe you can cancel your membership and rejoin and get your old name back?
Anybody else suffer a name change? Let us know unless you wish to start a new celebritology life. Maybe we'll figure it out anyway.

Hi everyone. I'm a name change--was posting here as hermespal. No problems posting, just clicked on sign in and that was that.

TomKat shot is just too creepy for words.

Heincer pic runs right up next to it, but succeeds more on "blech" value than creep value.

I'm not gonna sweat it. It's like moving every year of high school. (Which I did.) I get to be someone different.

Guy was so very wrong. Madonna isn't fat. She's overtoned and looks a bit hard. I can't quibble with anything else that he has said.

Just read online (so it must be true) that they are actually writing LiLo out of all of Ugly Betty scenes. Not sure if I believe it's true since she's supposed to be on tonight...

(I used to post occasionally as betty, but now I have been outed!)

Finally, I'm in. Of course I've competely forgotten all the clever bon mots I was going to write. Oh, who am I kidding, I had nuttin'.

Bah, that Lost trailer is gone.

And I'm not Bored @ Work anymore, even though I really am, now I'm just wadejg.

Yay! I'm "in"!

Anyhow, please note:

The "Tom" part of TomKat is the shorter guy.

Regarding the picture of Madonna puttin' on the Ritz in today's blog:

Does anyone else think that her appearance has become the reincarnation of the late Madeline Kahn?

If only Madonna had a voice and some acting chops. I suppose that with her romantic history, Madonna could do an excellent Lilly von Schtupp.

"Madonna "slapped" and "poked" Guy Ritchie..."

Well, given what "poke" means in British slang, I sure hope that Madonna gave Guy an occasional poke.

Why would Madonna care if Guy called her fat? Wouldn't she just laugh? Are the Olsen twins crying when people say they're fat? How bout Kiera Knightly?

Come on, Madonna! what if he said you're a self-centered, pathetic, over-age tart?
That would hurt - b/c it's true.

But the fat comment shouldn't bother you.

Hey, SASQUATCHBIGFOOT, are you our erstwhile Sasquatch?

Until we see some ID, not yeti, he isn't.

As Katerine Heigl might say:

"Yes. It is I."

As her dog might say:

"Woof!"

Byool, that pun stinks almost as much as that Roosevelt Hotel dead guy riff we did yesterday.

Congrats to Alyson & Alexis.

Regarding the TomKat pic - are we sure that's not Ellen and Portia?

And was Rocco Ritchie's t-shirt actually an A-Rod shirt, or just a generic Yankees shirt?

Apparently 3 other people beat me to my moniker.

So how long after a separation should one wait before dressing one's son in the jersey of the new man?

Madonna:

"She would taunt Guy, saying, 'I should have married someone like me: strong, hot-blooded, intelligent, ambitious, spiritual,'"

That would be the "mean spirit"ual side of you, right?

Eureka!!! I can finally post!

Even though I'm so late to the party, I have to get my snark-fix in ... so ... Madonna is many things, but fat isn't one of them. And that stretched-tighter-than-a-drum plastic-surgeried face isn't wrinkled.

Whoa, the TomKat doubletake was interesting. Guess Katie didn't know that by marrying her teen idol, she was signing on to be a beard.

mmm ... Lost

(in my best Homer Simpson voice)

I just can't wait!!!

(btw, it took me almost 11 hours to get this posting thing fixed. ugh)