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Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 11/17/2008

Comment Box: Senator Olsen Twin?

By Liz Kelly

Ashley (left) and Mary-Kate Olsen sign copies of their new book, 'Influence,' last week in New York. (Getty Images)
Comment Box

Which of the Olsen twins is more likely to win election to the U.S. Senate someday? -- Submitted to last week's Celebritology Live discussion

Is that a trick question because they're, like, both super-qualified for holding national office. In fact, this is the best idea I've heard since Mr. Liz nominated Paris Hilton for a Nobel Peace Prize. (For reconciling with Nicole Ritchie. Duh.)

But, since the average person may not have given as much thought to the office-worthiness of the Mary-Kate and Ashley, here are three good reasons they should unseat Hillary Clinton in 2012:

If the Olsens share the office, then one twin would always be available to fulfill her/their Senatorial duties. No vote would be missed, no constituent's pathetic plea for face time would go unheeded, no bill would ever again fail to represent the interests of the boho chic and no car dealership opening in their congressional district would have to muddle through without a gladhanding politician.

Scoff if you must, but M.K. and Ashley are gazillionaires. Maybe not gazillion, but their net worth ($100 million in 2007) is larger than the GDP of the Falkland Islands. That kind of solid financial cred should push them to the head of whatever committee is responsible for turning the economy around. And if they suggest a straight-to-DVD movie, I think we should hear them out.

In the 2001 straight-to-video release "Winning London," M.K. and Ashley played twins participating in an international Model U.N. competition -- which sound vaguely governmental. Also, romantic comedy ensued and Capitol Hill needs more G-rated romance.

---

Is there any news on Patrick Swayze? I hope for the best, but expect to hear the worst any day now. -- Submitted to last week's Celebritology Live discussion

Not much new since he opened up a couple of weeks back about his cancer treatment, calling chemo "hell on wheels."

Diagnosed 10 months ago with pancreatic cancer, which has a 5 percent survival rate, Swayze says he's managed to put back on 20 pounds with muscle-building shakes. He's still undergoing chemo and using an experimental drug. So far, doctors are encouraged at his response to treatment but have stopped short of calling him "cured."

Swayze, who we celebrated here a few weeks back, continues to work on his new A&E show, "The Beast," and credits that work with helping him to battle cancer. On Nov. 5, Swayze was filming in a suburban Chicago police station when a suspicious white powder was discovered. Luckily, it turned out to be corn starch.

Comments of the (Last) Week
Oh, and what is a 'Peaches Geldof'? Cocktail? Dessert? Or is this what we got in return for the Insouciant One? -- northgs

"Rachel Zoe and Nicole Ritchie: Bony and Bonier. Maybe they should do a reality show called 'Who's more anorexic?'" -- Californian11

By Liz Kelly  | November 17, 2008; 10:42 AM ET
Categories:  Comment Box  
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Comments

Not to worry re Senator Olsen Twin, because in order to qualify for the office, one must be 30 by swearing-into-office day, which they won't be for 8 years, or longer if they remain undernourished or, heaven forbid, should perish of eyeliner-poisoning.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 17, 2008 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, you forgot to add that they could get blown far away by a moderate breeze.


[T]heir net worth ($100 million in 2007) is larger than the GDP of the Falkland Islands.

Sure, that kind of impressive, until I looked at my bank account and realized that I was still more solvent than Iceland.


However, maybe we do need another one of their movies on the market, I heard Steve Guttenberg needs some work at the moment.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 17, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

One of the Olsens running for office?

How about a nice game of pinochle, Dave Coulier?

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 17, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

Last week's mention of Peaches Geldof and a comment on that theme winning the prize, reminded me that Gen Petraeus's nickname at The Point was Peaches.

Small world?

Someone needs to put the Olsen Twins out of their misery and retire them from the nedia.

Smooches,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 17, 2008 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Of course, I meant "media".

Note to self: practice that wrist thingy.

VTY

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 17, 2008 11:21 AM | Report abuse

Mudge,

I thought you just left out an e - "needia."

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 17, 2008 11:43 AM | Report abuse

which one is the one that wanted the boob job? that's one I vote for because she'd better be able to stay afloat of all the press she'll have to deal with by being in a public office.

Posted by: flutterbyjen | November 17, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Too young for a senate seat, then how about Congress? Age requirement is 25. Then they will have a little experience and no one could say they are not Washington insiders. Let's say we get out our poster boards and markers now. If this doesn't work out then there is always student body president. And if that doesn't work out they could be Paris' new BFF.

Posted by: hodie | November 17, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

From the Post's online noontime chat with "Onion" staffers:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2008/11/12/DI2008111202030.html

Harrisburg, Pa.: Which story generated the most cards and letters?

Joe Garden: Oddly enough, it was a trifle of an article. It was an editorial entitled "That Mary Kate Is Dragging Ashley Down." We received hate mail about that for YEARS, but none seemed to be from anyone who understood that the Onion was satire.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 17, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

I just want to know how you found a picture of the Olsen twins smiling! I didn't know they could do that.

Posted by: megtheegg | November 17, 2008 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Even harder to find is a picture of an Olsen twin eating.

Although, one of them does look like she's found her way through a bag of chips or two lately.

Posted by: MStreet1 | November 17, 2008 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the update on The Swayze. I know y'all know how I feel about him. :)

Isn't it about time for the Olsens to go away now? What do they DO, anyway? Besides that pouty frog-lip thing with their mouths.

Posted by: jaybbub | November 17, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Ambassador would be a better job for an Olsen twin or two. Especially in Italy, Mexico or some other country noted for its cuisine so they can get some nourishment.

Posted by: 44west | November 17, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Needia: n. Co-dependent celeb-paparazzi relationship

Posted by: otherliz | November 17, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

otherliz, I like.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 17, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Needia: n. Co-dependent celeb-paparazzi relationship

Posted by: otherliz | November 17, 2008 2:29 PM


/stands, applauds
Well played, madam.

Posted by: Bawlmer | November 17, 2008 2:44 PM | Report abuse

aww, thanks fellas!

Posted by: otherliz | November 17, 2008 2:56 PM | Report abuse

One question regarding Needia; would a member of said co-dependent celeb-paparazzi relationship be considered a Needium?


And if so, should one of the Olsen twins be arrested and then escape from jail, would she be a small needium at large? (I'm so very sorry for that.)

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 17, 2008 3:03 PM | Report abuse

No Dorkus, I'm not sure the Olsen twins can be "at large" for anything. (I too offer my humble apologies).

Posted by: hodie | November 17, 2008 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and I move to add "needia, needium" to the Lizard lexicon. (our dictionary will soon be as fat as Webster's).

Posted by: hodie | November 17, 2008 3:08 PM | Report abuse

I like "needia" too, but may I add that it sounds also like a new prescription drug?

WARNINGS: NeediaTM is not for everyone. Pregnant celebutantes and serious journalists should not take NeediaTM before watching Access Hollywood or visiting TMZ.com. Side effects include excessive interest in LiLo, nausea when viewing botched "shoe" jobs, and dizziness and should only be taken in conjunction with a healthy dose of cynicism.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 17, 2008 3:13 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, you are not allowed that the PunOff this year.

Posted by: epjd | November 17, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

"Peaches" Petraeus???

'Mudge, that's hilarious!

I wonder if our POTUS knows that Petraeus came to CENTCOM already nicknamed.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 17, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

jaybub asks:

Isn't it about time for the Olsens to go away now? What do they DO, anyway?

------------------------------------------
Lance Armstrong could probably tell you. Of course, past performance is not indicative of future returns. YMMV.....

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 17, 2008 3:19 PM | Report abuse

"Movin' to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can...."

No more Peaches talk! I can't get this song out of my head. I beg you all.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 17, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

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