Creative Captioning: Ripa's Santa Reaction

Keep it CLEAN?

[byoolin crumples up a sheet containing six golden - GOLDEN, I tells ya! - captions and walks away, muttering.]

"REEEEEEGE! REEEEEEEGE! I found a substitute for Ryan Seacrest! And I know EXACTLY where his hands have been!"

...I'm going to hell, aren't I.

Kelly Ripa rethinks her plastic surgery decisions after Santa mistakes her for Kathy Lee.

"But I want a PONY!"

Whoa, Santa, that better be a candy cane in your pocket!

Because Kelly won't take no for an answer, Santa opens a new account at TD Bank.

Santa, did you hear me? I SAID I NEED SOME MORE NEW ELECTROLUX APPLIANCES!

Yes, Kelly, there is a Santa Claus.

Mark, I can't believe you just plopped me on top of that Salvation Army bucket. Just wait 'til we get home, mister!

Bad Santa. Bad Bad BAD Santa!

Santa, let's talk about those split ends. Fortunately for you, I use Tressant Supreme. Great conditioning, and just a touch of crack cocaine to get me through the day! [Apologies to SNL]

"Ha! Regis! Told ya Santa would forgive me for "Hope and Faith!""

Here Santa, discussing the Killers new track on Regis, explains to Kelly that she is Human and not Dancer... Dancer is a reindeer.

Santa, help! Clay Aiken is trying to cover my mouth. Stop him, ya big red lug!

Whoa, Reege, I had the scariest dream. I was Hayley Vaughan and back on the "All My Children" set sucking up to Susan Lucci during December.

Santa just told her he was not bringing her another endorsement contract this year.

He said I'm getting a Goose for Christmas!

I SAID you're coming with me! I've got too many kids to buy for, and need the help!

Outraged, Kelly says "That is not what I meant, Santa, when I said I wanted to see the North Pole!".

(Sorry Liz--guess I'm on the naughty list, and if Nick Lachey is Santa, he's alright with that.)

Is that the North Pole, or are you just happy to see me?

Ripa: Snow? That is not the white powder that powers MY sleigh!

or

Ripa recoils from what she fears most: wrinkles.

OR

"Santa I have to ask, how do manage to make the toys, visit a billion homes in one night and still make time for Mrs Claus? Because I gotta tell you I'm about to go postal on Regis!"

So apparently I can't tell the difference between Ryan Seacrest and Clay Aiken. Sigh. Caption corrected and re-submitted:

"REEEEEEGE! REEEEEEEGE! I found a substitute for Clay Aiken! And I know EXACTLY where his hands have been!"

Kelly's expression gives new meaning to the term "stocking stuffer."

I need a little Christmas RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!

Do you hear what I hear?!

All I want for Christmas is my two front caps.

(Bawlmer, you inspired me -- anyway, you were probably safe with Ryan, too, I'd imagine. But since we're amending earlier comments:)

All I want for Christmas ARE my two front caps.

It's amazing what some people will do for a Cartier watch.

"Hey! He said I could have the pony and the dream house, but not the anchor slot on the Evening News!"

Kelly sings out, "Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane . . . "

Kelly Ripa, inspired by the insouciantly GOOPy Gwyneth, decides to ask her own sage about the meaning of Christmas.

For the last time, I did NOT eat Rudolph! You don't see any reindeer hair in my teeth, do you?!

Kelly Ripa spots Madonna's plastic surgeon across the room and suddenly realizes Santa can't give her what she wants for Christmas.

Kelly says, 'Move over Reege, there's a new Big Daddy in town.'

What garbage breath you have dear Santa! How naughty of you!!!

Hey Reeg! How does the Kelly and Regis show sound to ya?! I'm on the nice list.

Gasp! Santa, I'm not sure "straddle" is the way I'm supposed to sit on your lap! Hey! Regis! He wants me to do our backstage warm up ... are you OK with that?!?

... and then I was on the naughty list ;)

Kelly Ripa helps Santa decide whether she should be on the naughty or nice list.

(flutterbyjen started it)

Aaah! He's trying to make me ingest FOOD! With CALORIES!

Oh my Santa. Hearing about Electrolux appliances sure makes you excited.

"Oh my god! He's giving me free spray-on tan for a whole year!!"

Oh my god! He's giving me free spray-on tan for a whole year!!"

Posted by: possum_pouch | November 25, 2008 1:34 PM

My current favorite. Great job possum. I was gonna say, she needs it. Appears she doesn't go past the chin with her bronzer.

Yes, Kelly, there really is a Santa Clause and right now it looks like he is groping your backside.

Steven Spielberg (left) holds auditions for JAWS: The Musical.

"You got a real pretty mouth on you, girl! Why, that's the prettiest mouth I've seen since that city slicker Ned Beatty down by the Cahulawassee River."

"Reege, does this pose make my mouth look big?"

Santa:
She's going to bite me, isn't she?

Kelly reacts poorly to the crowd's booing after asking a visibly thinner Claus if he is suffering from Santanorexia

Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes, don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes, don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes, don't...oh, hell.

I'll be home for Grabassmas....

(Why does Kelly inspire me so? Maybe because I am still insanely jealous about all that making out with Chris Lawford on AMC)

What? Reege asked you to make him the ONLY HOST OF THE SHOW????

I need an ADULT!!!

I'll do anything, ANYTHING, for better ratings...

Would you kids shut up and wait your turn...

Santa's not done yet!

Neigh, Santa, Neigh! I'm not Camilla Parker Bowles!