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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 11/ 5/2008

Four Words of Doom: Bottomless Jogging Steve Guttenberg

By Liz Kelly

How could celebrity news possibly compete with what The Post editorial page is labeling a "momentous" occasion? By going beneath the belt. Steve Guttenberg's belt, to be specific.

There isn't much over the past 24 hours that has managed to draw my attention away from exit polls, electoral counts and a ridiculous stretch of cable news watching. That is, until I saw Guttenberg -- one-time star of family-friendly '80s fare like "Three Men and a Baby -- jogging through Central Park with his naughty bits on display for all and sundry to see.

That's right. Clicking here will reveal a new world to you -- a world where actors who haven't seen a hit since the Reagan administration jog through public spaces bottomless. (Note: Although Steve's stuff is sufficiently blurred out in the footage, I'm still going to go ahead and call this one Not Safe For Work.)

For those of you who regrettably can't share in the life-altering experience via video, here's a still pulled from the video (at right), along with a brief synopsis of the 1:44 clip:


(Screen grab courtesy YouTube.com)

In the video, we see two men talking in hushed tones about Guttenberg. One says 'The Gute' jogs bottomless every morning. On cue, Guttenberg comes into frame. He jogs, bottomless. He does a series of exaggerated stretches, bottomless. He air-boxes, bottomless. He shocks an elderly couple, bottomless. Confronted by the camera man, Guttenberg fails to act his way out of a paper bag.

If you're still there and able to read (I realize it takes time to re-focus after washing the eyes out with bleach), I ask you to join me in contemplating what is behind the mystery of the Guttenberg tape. Keep in mind that the user who posted the clip to YouTube also has a library full of clips about how viral marketing can drive customers to your site. But that could be, as they say, dismissed as coincidence, no?

By Liz Kelly  | November 5, 2008; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Hollyweird, Insta-Polls  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Morning Mix: Celebs Celebrate Obama Win
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Comments

I voted fake. I seriously doubt that if The Gute was showing his Mahoney everyday in Central Park that this is the first we'd hear of it.

Posted by: MStreet1 | November 5, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

"Mahoney"?

That's a new one, MStreet1.

VTY

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 5, 2008 10:52 AM | Report abuse

I don't get it. Is the Gute hard up for work? Does he need this type of exposure?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Totally fake!

Obviously, if this were real a robot would be running alongside of him.

Posted by: kvs09 | November 5, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

The Gute played madcap joker Carey Mahoney in the Police Academy series of "films". Starring opposite such stars as Bobcat Goldthwait.

Posted by: MStreet1 | November 5, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

"Is the Gute hard up"? - Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 11:00 AM

***

Sometimes when you're punning, you just have to go for the, ah, low-hanging fruit. As it were.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 5, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

I don't get it. Is the Gute hard up for work? Does he need this type of exposure?


Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 11:00 AM

Couldn't see the film and the picture was blurred, couldn't tell. (LOL)

Posted by: hodie | November 5, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

FYI - Weingarten is blogging on Michele Obama's dress from last night while we're talking about Gute's schwantz.

Posted by: kvs09 | November 5, 2008 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Let's just be thankful he didn't hump a tree.....like (can't resist) a naughty pine.

Posted by: possum_pouch | November 5, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

I move that future naked (ha!) attempts at ridiculous publicity stunts be dubbed "a Nudenburg".

"Hey, did you see that blog post where Gwyneth Paltrow shared her favorite steak recipes?"
"Nah. Didn't you see she's promoting a new film about cattle ranching? It's an obvious Nudenburg."

Posted by: Bawlmer | November 5, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer, that's brilliant! I second the motion.

Posted by: CJH2 | November 5, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Nudenburg, eh?

Owe, the humanity.

Can we start a pledge drive to buy The Gute some shorts, or at least a jock strap?

www.BuyTheGuteAJockStrap.com

Posted by: MStreet1 | November 5, 2008 12:45 PM | Report abuse

I have to agree that this is a complete nudenburg. I can't make myself believe that this would occur day after day. Especially without having been previously reported, no complaints being filed, and no arrests being made. Oh, and ICK!!!

Posted by: flutterbyjen | November 5, 2008 12:55 PM | Report abuse

MSt., Aren't you worried that "www.BuyTheGuteAJockStrap.com" will cannibalize customers from your other ventures, i.e., "GotchForGute.com" and "GuteThong?.com"?

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 5, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

It's fake - he paused in front of the camera every chance he got.

But we did used to have an early morning nude jogger in my neighborhood for several months once. Everybody just left him alone. (It's the South. You can be a little weird, no big deal.)

Posted by: sarahabc | November 5, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, Fakey McFakerson.

But still funny & a nice bit of levity in my otherwise working-for-angry-Republican kinda day.

Now if you want REAL nudity, I can hook youse guys up with some real pics of several of the Jackass guys naked.

Posted by: wadejg | November 5, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Don't worry byoolin, all the websites can be accessed through FaceGute.com. It's HoffSpace for adults.

Posted by: MStreet1 | November 5, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

It's fake but harmless fun. 'Cept for the people who saw him jogging by.
Since his junk is covered up by the blurry screen thing, maybe he was wearing one of those cock-socks actors wear when they're filming a scene.

Posted by: pras40 | November 5, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

Nude jogging? Does this really occur? Seems like this would impair one's stride.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Okay, real or sad publicity stunt, this video was posted October 31. Looking at the vegetation and clothing on other people (leaves turning, long sleeves and pants), it was shot fairly recently. Wouldn't it have been a bit chilly jogging through Central Park in the altogether in the last week of October? Talk about putting a hitch in your giddyup.

Posted by: northgs | November 5, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

And shouldn't that poll choice read, "Faked. This is a naked ploy for a little press coverage"?

Posted by: northgs | November 5, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

At first I thought the Gute's dingleberries needed to breathe. Then it occured to me that he would have been arrested by now, so I voted the video as a fake.

Posted by: petalceleb | November 5, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Even if it's a complete fake, and you know that it is, and Gutenberg probably had nothing to do with this, I like the term "Nudenberg" and I will third the motion that it be added to the lexicon.

(How's that for a run on sentence?)

Posted by: hodie | November 5, 2008 2:33 PM | Report abuse

"Nudenberg" has to enter the lexicon!

Posted by: northgs | November 5, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Oh, FAIL, man. FAIL.
Liz, not "obviously nuts." The joke is that you can clearly see he's (his) nuts.
But I still <3 you.

Posted by: otherliz | November 5, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Definitely fake, but oh so sad. Like the guy in the clip said, "oh man, he was in 'Diner'."

Posted by: jes11 | November 5, 2008 3:15 PM | Report abuse

Like the guy in the clip said, "oh man, he was in 'Diner'."

Posted by: jes11 | November 5, 2008 3:15 PM
------------
That made me laugh out loud. "Diner" What a great movie.

Posted by: pras40 | November 5, 2008 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Steve Guttenberg, I used to think that you were crazy. Now I see your nuts.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 5, 2008 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Thank you Sasquatch. I knew it had to be 2nd person as soon as I hit submit.

Posted by: otherliz | November 5, 2008 4:02 PM | Report abuse

If you are going pantless, why bother with the shirt??

oooohhhh... do you thing when he plays b-ball its shorts and skins???

Posted by: Osteph | November 5, 2008 4:53 PM | Report abuse

Sorry, do you thinK, not thing...

Posted by: Osteph | November 5, 2008 4:54 PM | Report abuse

Is it just me or does that screen shot remind anyone else of this guy:

http://www.oakcreek.k12.wi.us/wms/Mike/sasquatch.jpg

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse

Is it just me or does that screen shot remind anyone else of this guy:

http://www.oakcreek.k12.wi.us/wms/Mike/sasquatch.jpg

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 5, 2008 4:57 PM

-----------------------------------------

You don't see my ding-dong in that picture, now do ya?

And the pic wasn't taken in Central Park, neither.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 5, 2008 5:32 PM | Report abuse

"Nudenberg" - great word!

Liz, would you please add "nudenberg - an obviously naked attempt to attract publicity" to the Lizard Glossary of Terms.

Good one, Bawlmer.

VTY

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 6, 2008 9:00 AM | Report abuse

I wish there was a poll choice for real or fake, it was pretty darn funny.

Posted by: mdsails | November 6, 2008 9:02 AM | Report abuse

At the end, where they talk to Guttenberg, it looks like he's wearing some kind of lapel microphone...it must be fake in some way.

Posted by: hlef | November 6, 2008 11:47 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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