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Posted at 11:15 AM ET, 11/26/2008

Friday List: Your Hetero Celebrity Crush?

By Liz Kelly

Angelina Jolie and Tina Fey, two of my hetero crushes. (AP)

What better way to pass Thanksgiving eve than with a mid-week Friday List? Think of it as my gift to you. And myself.

Today's listage was inspired by this piece I happened upon, in the otherwise v. good Daily Beast (Tina Brown's answer to Huffington Post). If, by chance, you are Tina Brown averse, I'll summarize -- author Jessie Klein expends approximately 800 words gushing about her girl crush, Jennifer Aniston:

The Aniston is funny, in that way that people learn to be when late blooming beauty makes personality a necessity rather than a choice. The Aniston has an appealing vulnerability. People make fun of her for only pretending to be over Brad, to which I say, good for her! I don’t know any of these people, but I’m still not over it. I like that The Aniston spent the first three years after her breakup walking around wrapped in a giant pashmina security blanket.

Although I could only get through about 640 of those words, not being a fan of The Aniston myself, it did leave me thoughtful about that universal condition, the Hetero Crush.

Admit it, at one time or another someone who is not a member of the gender to which you are habitually attracted has attracted you. (Gay? the formula still applies.) Half the time, hetero crushes are thinly veiled intellectual/envy crushes anyway. Even Jerry Seinfeld succumbed to a male crush on Met Keith Hernandez, as pointed out in this article, questioning the manliness of men who deny having ever had a male crush.

I'll start. I guess I'm a bit of a hussy, because I have many. Below, just a few:

-- Angelina Jolie. There is nothing vulnerable about this woman. She's hot, has tattoos and a big heart to boot. Her approach to life? Unapologetic. Uncompromising. Uncomplicated by convention. No security blanket required.

-- Tina Fey. I have a feeling I won't be the only one invoking the goddess from whose mind Liz Lemon sprung fully formed. This crush is based on naked hero worship. Wait, I don't mean naked in that way. I'll just quit while I'm ahead. Or not so far behind.

-- Rachel Nagy. Who? Well, duh, Rachel's the kick-ass singer fronting garage rock combo The Detroit Cobras. She looks like a blonde Angelina Jolie (see above) and belts out songs like the coolest, most dangerous chick since Pinkie Tuscadero. She rocks my world.

Share your hetero crushes below. And remember, it's all academic.

By Liz Kelly  | November 26, 2008; 11:15 AM ET
Categories:  Friday Lists  
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Second on Tina Fey. (Glasses are sexy!) I also have something approaching a girlcrush on Nicole Kidman, who I think is stunning.
And Ellen Degeneres! Who doesn't love Ellen?

Posted by: Bawlmer | November 26, 2008 11:27 AM | Report abuse

Sorry Liz, I have to pick on the choice of words. A HETERO crush would be a crush on the opposite sex. Hetero means mixed. A "HOMO" crush would be a crush on the same sex, "homo" being same. But I know what you mean, so I'll play.

I too like Angelina. A little bad girl, earth mother, goddess thing going on who managed to snag Brad Pitt from the epitome of the girl next door.

I also love Candace Olsen from Divign Design. So funny, cute, and great taste I wish I had.

Posted by: hodie | November 26, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Padma Lakshmi.

Posted by: MzFitz | November 26, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

Uma Thurman, Cate Blanchett and Shirley Manson (Garbage). Ooh - Gwen Stefani.

Posted by: beaker1 | November 26, 2008 11:46 AM | Report abuse

I'm going to second Ellen D & also add Jodie Foster (intelligence is always sexy) & Evangeline Lily (love those freckles!).

Posted by: Delancey916 | November 26, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

I have a girl crush on:
Heidi Klum
Gwen Stefani
Tina Fey
and Elinor Parker when she played Baroness Von Schrader in "The Sound of Music". That woman knew how to say, "Auf wiedersehen, darling."

Posted by: pras40 | November 26, 2008 11:58 AM | Report abuse

It's interesting that none of the guys are commenting here.

Well, I guess I will through in my man-crushes:

1. Heath Ledger (Pre-Mortem, of course)
2. Jude Law
3. Tim Gunn

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 26, 2008 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Don't know why I wrote Eleanor Parker's name like that, 'Elinor'. Just wasn't paying attention, I guess.

Posted by: pras40 | November 26, 2008 12:10 PM | Report abuse

I think we kind of started down this road a little last week. Mine are:
Mira Sorvino
Sara Ramirez (even pre-Callie/Hahn affair)
Christina Applegate
Jennifer Aniston

And sometimes Angelina Jolie, when she's being badass instead of pregnant.

Posted by: eet7e | November 26, 2008 12:11 PM | Report abuse

Rachel Maddow
Michelle Obama
Nigella Lawson

Posted by: mdreader01 | November 26, 2008 12:14 PM | Report abuse

I like normal women who are dedicated to their talent and spend time with their families. My choices are:

Hajime Chitose (Japanese singer/songwriter)
Cate Blanchett
Kate Winslet
Michelle Obama
Joan Fontaine
Deborah Kerr
Audrey Hepburn

Posted by: possum_pouch | November 26, 2008 12:17 PM | Report abuse

My list is a combo of my favourite saying: "well behaved women seldom make history", make me chuckle, musical talents I wish I had and class.

Michelle Rodriguez
Tina Fey
Angelina Jolie
Kerry Washington
Queen Latifah
Me'shell Ndegeocello

Posted by: petalceleb | November 26, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

I was confused by that too, hodie. I think it means a homo crush despite being hetero...

Anyways, mine are, in no particular order:
Paul Rudd
Jensen Ackles
Michael Chiklis (so awesome in The Shield)
Clinton Portis

Then, of course, in the fictional character category, Marko Ramius, Captain of the Red October.

Posted by: fft5305 | November 26, 2008 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Helen Mirren
Audrey Hepburn
Deborah Harry

Posted by: dablues1 | November 26, 2008 12:26 PM | Report abuse

Did I really type:

"Well, I guess I will through in my man-crushes:"

I'm just going to blame the chemicals I was playing around with earlier for the sudden lack of skill using the English language.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 26, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Then, of course, in the fictional character category, Marko Ramius, Captain of the Red October.
Captain Marko Aleksandrovich Ramius! Well chosen!
Out of curiosity, is this the novel's Ramius, or Sean Connery's Russian-by-way-of-Glasgow Ramius?

Posted by: Bawlmer | November 26, 2008 12:31 PM | Report abuse

What Hodie said, way up at the top there. It's "homo," not that there's anything wrong with that.

Dorkus, what did you mean, "of course"? I mean, you just switched teams for the guy, and now you're getting all fussy on which league you're willing to play in? Picky, picky, picky.

Me, I'd go for the Cloon-man. Daniel Craig. The "Twelve Angry Men" version of Henry Fonda.

Tom Cruise, but it would only happen if it were followed by me uttering the immortal line, "You had me at 'I slipped a roofie into your drink.'" (Remember this if I suddenly start posting from inside the Scientology compound.)

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 26, 2008 12:32 PM | Report abuse

Heidi Klum, as I mentioned last week. She's banging hot but still seems pretty normal.

Angelina Jolie, probably for the same reason I was drawn to the bad boys in high school.

Posted by: jes11 | November 26, 2008 12:34 PM | Report abuse

Angelina Jolie needs no security blanket? Really. Queen Liz, did you miss your own item about her blackmailing People into only good publicity? If she is so unapologetic, she shouldn't care how she gets covered in the press.

Have to work on my list. Although, right now I have a crush on Dorkus cause he gets to play with chemicals.

Posted by: epjd | November 26, 2008 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Lucy Lawless
Gina Torres
Freema Agyeman
Naoko Mori

(Huh. Reads a bit like a fandom kitchen pass list)

Posted by: CentrevilleMom | November 26, 2008 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Angelina for a one-night-stand
Kate Winslet for LTR

Posted by: jelo | November 26, 2008 12:42 PM | Report abuse

Oh I was stumbling on this one but now have mine! and mine is a crush in a 'I wish I WAS you' sort of way

Jennifer Garner - If I could go back in time to when she was with Michael Vaughn...

I mean, girl speaks five languages and lookes good no matter what she is wearing (as episodes of Alias can attest to), she must have picked up at least SOME of the martial arts moves she's done so she can kick ass and she is gorgeous in a totally approachable way.

Oh and Shakira - man if I could make my lying hips move like that I could probably broker world peace - besides doesn't she have a really high IQ or something...

Last pick Sandra Bullock - she just seems so comfortable in her own skin and genuine and happy with her hot 'I can fix sh*t' tattooed hubby...

Man oh man there is something about a man that can fix sh*t....

Posted by: LTL1 | November 26, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Hodie -- I had the same doubts, but see the linked definition above for "Hetero Crush," from Urban Dictionary:

"A heterosexual who finds a member of the same sex to be attractive and is drawn to that person in a non-sexual manner."

Posted by: Liz Kelly | November 26, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Queen Latifah
Tina Fey
Judi Dench (for a little May-December thing)

Posted by: shinystuff | November 26, 2008 12:49 PM | Report abuse

Proper usage of Greek aside,
Robert Redford
Bob Woodward (are they the same person?)
Barack Obama
Keifer Sutherland
this should be OK because she bats for her own team
Paula Poundstone

Posted by: reddragon1 | November 26, 2008 12:51 PM | Report abuse

On my "hetero" never-never list:
Kid Rock
Ozzie Osbourne
Billy Bob Thornton
Mickey Rourke

Posted by: reddragon1 | November 26, 2008 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Okay, just a couple more to add:

Hugh Grant
Tyson Beckford

right now I have a crush on Dorkus cause he gets to play with chemicals.

Posted by: epjd | November 26, 2008 12:35 PM


Thanks ep, have I ever mentioned I have a weakness for lawyers?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 26, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Gene Weingarten

Posted by: meato | November 26, 2008 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Emma Thompson is my girl-crush supreme.

Posted by: kwticknor | November 26, 2008 1:29 PM | Report abuse

I shouldn't have this much trouble coming up with a list...

Kristin Scott Thomas (that whole English but living in France thing, etc.)

Isabella Rosselini (need I say more?)

Angelina Jolie (wait, you said non-sexual?)

Lidia Bastianich (would like to hang out in her kitchen, chatting and cooking)

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | November 26, 2008 1:39 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the clarification Liz. Gotta read the urban dictionary more often. No wonder my kids are always giving me that look.

Ok, now I'm gonna sing....
Dorkus and Ep sitting in a tree.....

Ahhh, Lizard Love.

Posted by: hodie | November 26, 2008 1:54 PM | Report abuse

In no particular order:

Natalie Portman

Nigella Lawson

America Ferrera

Emma Thompson

Posted by: skyblu | November 26, 2008 2:03 PM | Report abuse

my same sex crushes are

angela basset
angelina jolie

Posted by: nall92 | November 26, 2008 2:14 PM | Report abuse

I thought that ep is of the XX gender. Am I imagining things?

Dorkus, whatever you do, don't play with matches.

Let's see, with which male celebs would I like to associate (Note that I did not write "assignate" -- see Urban Dictionary.)?


Paul Newman, if he was still around. We could talk about racing cars and shameless capitalism in pursuit of common good.

George Clooney's Rat Pack. An upscale Boys' Club like his, no question. I'm there.

I'd hang around on the metaphysical roof and talk frisbees with George Carlin, anytime.

I also think that hanging out with the Comedy Central Three Musketeers -- Stewart, Colbert and Black -- would be excellent.

I'd buy Mike Rowe a beer any day. Ditto for Survivorman Les Stroud.

What choices would you expect from an old fart cryptid?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 26, 2008 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Jennifer Connolly. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty. I could stare blissfully at her green eyes for a loooong time.

And Kate Winslet. She's just awesome.

Posted by: undercover_hon | November 26, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

How could I forget Dolly Parton?

She's on my hetero-crush list AND my fantasy Thanksgiving invite list. Wouldn't she be a hoot?

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | November 26, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Eli Whitney and Thomas Edison.

(Hey, did you really expect me to say Sean Connery?)

But that Boutros Boutros-Ghali is awfully cute. (He's so nice, they named him twice!)

Posted by: elias_howe | November 26, 2008 2:41 PM | Report abuse

Ahhh, Lizard Love.

Posted by: hodie | November 26, 2008 1:54 PM

As long as it ain't muskrat love.

Yes, I am XX, so I didn't follow the rules. I love a man who plays with chemicals.

Posted by: epjd | November 26, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Gene Weingarten, ick!!!

Let's have a real funny guy, Dave Barry, of course. He not only makes me laugh but makes Mrs. Howe laugh. What more could you want? (Mrs. Howe has a permanent kitchen pass for Dave just so I can hang in the room next to him!)

Posted by: elias_howe | November 26, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Catherine Zeta-Jones,
The blonde spy-chick on Chuck.
Queen Latifah (I'm with ya petal)

Theme is confidence is sexy. (I like the same in my Hetero-hetero crushes).

Posted by: hodie | November 26, 2008 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Alright, I'll play. In no particular order:

Jason Bateman
Johnny Depp
Alec Baldwin
John Stewart
Patrick Stewart
Jean Reno
Willem Dafoe

Wow, that list is longer than expected... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: KobayashiMaru | November 26, 2008 3:31 PM | Report abuse

The boss is letting us go home early, so enjoy your turkey (or turkey substitute) day, folks.

Now, where's Ann Coulter? I've got a bottle that needs to be opened.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 26, 2008 3:32 PM | Report abuse

Angelina Jolie, for sure. Just stunning.

Catherine Zeta Jones in the first Zorro era.

Kate Winslet--my Vanity Fair magazine is smoking over there on the table.

Khandi Alexander (Dr. Alex Woods on CSI Miami)

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | November 26, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Everyone have a great Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for Celebritology, Queen Liz and all the Lizards.
And for Andy.

Posted by: pras40 | November 26, 2008 3:39 PM | Report abuse

Kate Winslet--my Vanity Fair magazine is smoking over there on the table.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | November 26, 2008 3:38 PM

Exactly WHERE in the current issue of Vanity Fair is the Kate Winslet spread? I've spent time in several grocery checkout lines looking through the current issue and have yet to find it. I have found several hundred pages of advertisements for expensive baubles, though.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 26, 2008 3:43 PM | Report abuse

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! See ya at the Tiki bar next week when the special will be pumpkin-pietini's.

Posted by: hodie | November 26, 2008 3:58 PM | Report abuse

Sas, she's on the cover! December edition. She looks like Catherine Deneuve (the whole spread is an homage). Blonde hair, white coat, nothing else unless you count the sandals and the jewelry.

top right has the cover:

Oh, wait, you said where--sorry. Page 272.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | November 26, 2008 4:05 PM | Report abuse

yay for girl crushes :)

Natalie Portman
Michelle Pfeiffer
Keira Knightley

((happily sighs))

Posted by: flutterbyjen | November 26, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell


Posted by: christine9 | November 26, 2008 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Here's my weird taste...
Holly Hunter
Tina Fey
Brooke Shields
Queen Latifah and
Paula Dean (LOVE her!)

Posted by: JJBooknut | November 26, 2008 5:29 PM | Report abuse

Princess Diana (pre-mortem, of course)
Dorothy Hamill
Sela Ward
Jennifer Aniston

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

-The Poster Formerly Known as Snarky Squirrel

Posted by: 7900rmc | November 26, 2008 7:06 PM | Report abuse

I'm not sure if it counts as a hetero crush, because I'd totally go gay for Tina Fey. I guess she'd have to be gay for that to work, though. I think she is incredibly sexy and I like to think of her as my naked hero, as well ;)

Posted by: spazora | November 27, 2008 3:12 AM | Report abuse

Women? Susan Sarandon, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Pink, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore, Sharon Stone.
Men? GERALD BUTLER !!!!!!! besides being majorly goodlooking, he is a nice guy and not bigheaded about being a star. Johnny Depp, Liam Neeson, Robert Redford.

Posted by: lisamarie1 | November 27, 2008 6:09 AM | Report abuse

So if I am a homo then do I have a hetero crush on men? I am so confused! Here are my crushes then:
Hulk Hogan
Dawg the Bounty Hunter and his wife too
George Clooney
Teddy Brusci(sp) from the NE Patriots

Posted by: RunnerGirl1 | November 28, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Great topic!
-Jackie O
-the girl who plays Robin Scherbatsky on How I met Your Mother
-young Katherine Hepburn
-very young Joan Crawford (seriously, she was kick-ass, not in a Mommy Dearest way)
-Jean Harlow
-Aniston, of course

Posted by: avidwpreader | November 28, 2008 1:16 PM | Report abuse

Lots already mentioned, plus some new:

Tina Fey
Ellen DeGeneres
Kathy Griffin
Katherine Moennig
Kate Gosselin
Jody Foster
Laurel Holloman
Karina Lombard
Queen Latifah

I guess maybe I should stop watching "The L Word!"

Posted by: cjbriggs | December 1, 2008 1:02 PM | Report abuse

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