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Posted at 11:42 AM ET, 11/19/2008

Have Yourself a Merry Little Hoff-mas

By Liz Kelly

Personalize this photo: The Hoff as Santa. (Courtesy UniversalPoster.com)

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Overeating is de rigueur, far too much time spent with relatives serves as an absolutely plausible reason for over-indulging in the egg nog and we say "I love you" to friends and family with signed photos of David Hasselhoff in swim trunks and Santa cape.

The heck, you say.

It's true. The Hoff has magnanimously made available nine different photos of himself for gifting. At only $15 a pop, you can knock six gift recipients out for under a hundred bucks and all in one simple Internet transaction. Not bad considering the belt-tightening caused by the continued meltdown of the world's economy. Better still -- customize each print with a four-line message of your invention "replicated in an exact digital copy of your favourite artist's handwriting and signature."

The possibilities are endless.

But if Santa-Hoff isn't to your liking or belief system, other options include the self-explanatory "Caddy Man," the cigar-toting "Classic Hoff" and -- my favorite -- "Hoff Coffee".

Finally, add that extra special touch by springing for lamination. Your gift-getter will thank you five years from now when her other digitally autographed Hoff pictures are covered in sticky finger prints.

By Liz Kelly  | November 19, 2008; 11:42 AM ET
Categories:  Holiday Guide  
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Comments

Egads, would a little warning about Santa Hoff have been too much? Some of us were trying to eat.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 1:12 PM | Report abuse

Well, sorcerers_cat, you ask for it, you got it!

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Poor Queen Liz, her disease has degenerated from EWS (Elijah Wood Syndrome) to that dreaded but rare and highly incurable Hoffitis in just one day! We need a doc who specializes in infectious diseases.

Paging Dr. House, Dr. House, please call your service!

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 1:29 PM | Report abuse

Chacun à son goût.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 1:30 PM | Report abuse

I was hoping for "Dumkopf Hoff" showing him from that YouTube video his daughter took of him coming off a bender.

Guess I'll have to settle for Cliff Richard! Julio Iglesias! Or some other has-been singer -- at least now we know where they all go to rot in obscurity.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 1:34 PM | Report abuse

The Santa pic makes him look like he just stumbled off the beach and mugged the guy playing Henry VIII at the Renaissance Festival.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 1:37 PM | Report abuse

Hoff has definitely entered some weird alternative universe where he is the center of it. I really don't know who is more egomaniacal, Hoff or Shatner. I do not want to see the results of the runoff.

Posted by: epjd | November 19, 2008 1:42 PM | Report abuse

ep, on that note, imagine a movie starring Shatner, The Hoff, and Bruce Campbell. I think the world might collapse under the weight of all those egos in one place.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

All I can say about this is, Yikes!

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 1:57 PM | Report abuse

Alright, Hoff! this is an intervention! What's in that mug you're holding? Hand it over.

I KNEW it! Look, Hoff, Black Russians are not the Breakfast of Champions.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Never mind Der Hoff: what about Sir Cliff Richard in his bubble bath, blowing bubbles at you?

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 2:05 PM | Report abuse

I for one am so glad to hear about this, as I was fretting about what to get everyone I know for Christmas! Now my prayers are answered!

...So seedy...Does he really have nothing better to do than have a photo shoot that will make small children cry or run in terror...I would have nightmares if one of those was in my house.

Posted by: Ohyouknow | November 19, 2008 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Dear Mr. Hasselhoff,

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart (and stomach) for not wearing a Speedo in your Christmas photo.

Love,

MDReader

Posted by: mdreader01 | November 19, 2008 2:13 PM | Report abuse

will make an excellent white elephant gift. It's either that or my Homer Simpson Chia pet.

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Look, if I want pictures of an old guy in bathing trunks standing in the back yard, I can just take a picture of my husband for free.
What about Smilin' Bob with his sackful of confidence? I'd rather have a picture of him!!

Posted by: possum_pouch | November 19, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

I just learned that the site will PREVIEW the comments you type in. Which means you can create your own little Hoff messages from your desk! Not as classy as the frame poster, but perfect for inter-office greeting cards!

Posted by: ishkabibbleA | November 19, 2008 2:42 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, you had me until you stuck Bruce Campbell in there. He doesn't have an ego. He genuinely enjoys working and has fun doing it.

I was actually thinking of Hoff guesting on the same episode of CSI: Miami with Diddy. Then you get Diddy, Hoff and Caruso.

Posted by: epjd | November 19, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Ok, ep, yeah that's a pretty egotastic collection you have there.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 2:49 PM | Report abuse

This is awesome. Those dogs playing poker prints are getting really hard to find.

Maybe somebody could catch Hoff on a bender, convince him he's a Hoffit, give him a ring and send him off on a multi-year quest in Middle Earth.

Posted by: dablues1 | November 19, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

This is positively craptacular.

Christmas shopping - DONE!

Posted by: jaybbub | November 19, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

Here's my four lines (apologies to my high school German teacher):

Ich unterziechne bilder fur bier!
Haben sie ein rolle fur mich?
Baywatch Norsee, vielleicht?
Ich hoffe dass ich noch eine karriere in Deutschland habe.

Posted by: 44west | November 19, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

Every year I fantasize about buying everyone a Chia pet. Everyone. Just to imagine the "WTF?" expressions. I mean, it would provide my family with a topic of discussion/righteous indignation into infinity.

Well, now thanks to Liz I have the Ultimate WTF Christmas Present. Laminated Hoff posters inscribed with a font that mimics the Hoff's actual handwriting. It just doesn't get better than that. It's HoffTASTIC.

Posted by: NW_Washington | November 19, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

Um...who is Paul Potts & why would his parents saddle him with a name that sounds like he's in line to be the next Vietnamese dictator?

Posted by: wadejg | November 20, 2008 1:09 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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