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Posted at 10:34 AM ET, 11/ 7/2008

Is Beyonce Headed Into the Danger Zone?

By Liz Kelly

That's what I asked myself this morning when I saw pix of B at last night's MTV Europe Awards. Again, she's sporting that freaky hand exoskeleton and again she's channeling some kind of retro-futuristic look in her choice of performance wear. Is she really thinking that any good can come of this sudden love of props and overdone costumes? Has she, to be blunt, crossed the invisible line into celebrity whackadoodle territory?

Before I ask you to make a pronouncement on Beyonce's general sanity or ability to dress herself, I will ask you to consider the following:

Exhibit A: The Hand Thingy




(Getty Images)

It's Freddy Krueger meets Edward Scissorhands meets the Gloved One.

And the pose should be entered into the record: exhibit A, subsection I. Get that thing out of your mouth -- who knows where it's been. And, trust me, Jay-Z may be into cyborg-kink, but I'm not sure the rest of us need this look burned into our retinas.

Exhibit B: The Flash Gordon Get Up




(AP)

This looks like some kind of Flash Gordon wardrobe reject and is dangerously close to Janet Jackson territory. And when you start to share qualities with more than one Jackson, well, that ain't good.

Exhibit C: Beyonce Bot




(AP)

In April, Beyonce channeled "Metropolis" when she performed at the BET Awards. This really speaks for itself.

Exhibit D: Who Is Sasha Fierce?
Who cares? The name change thing never works out. Think Prince's symbol, or Sean Puffy P. Diddy Daddy Combs's ever-changing moniker. It's low-hanging fruit for those of us who get a certain lift out of a little celebrity ego management.

And with that, I rest my case.

By Liz Kelly  | November 7, 2008; 10:34 AM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Fashion, Insta-Polls  
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Comments

Maybe the hand thingy is just a new treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome. You know from the stress of writing her own songs. Hahahahahaha.

Yeah, the name change/alter ego thing never works. Think Damita Jo, and there is one other who escapes me now. Oh well, I am sure the nice men in the white coats with the I Love Me jackets will return it.

Posted by: epjd | November 7, 2008 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Headed to the Danger Zone?

Heck, I think she's the Intergalactic Chairman of the Board of the Danger Zone!

Posted by: pras40 | November 7, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

I voted for "She's breaking barriers, making her own path, marching to the beat of her own drum, etc." because it was closest to "Hey, Liz Kelly, let's see more of this cyborg-porn-from-the-future look she's got goin' on."

What I am *really* hoping for is a picture of her dressed like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Report abuse

"Maybe the hand thingy is just a new treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome. You know from the stress of writing her own songs. Hahahahahaha."

THAT. IS. SO. FUNNY. Comment of the week.

Seems to me that Beyonce is taking a page from the Faye Dunaway/"Mommie Dearest" playbook and not letting go of her "Dreamgirls" role.

The Flash Gordon get-up reminds me of this season's "Project Runway" challenge where they had to make an outfit out of Saturn car parts. Only this design would've gotten the auf from Heidi.

Um, is it me or, er, is there something wrong with the, er, bottom of that cyborg photo?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 7, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

I don't think she's headed for the danger zone, possibly Thunder Dome though....

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

I'm positive Beyonce/Sasha was going to retire this summer, cleary both she and her hubby should try sticking to their word.

Exhibit A isn't that bad but for the love of fashion, exhibit b is an unfortunate getup. She needs to stop wearing whatever her mother gives her.

Posted by: petalceleb | November 7, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

i, for one, welcome our new bootylicious cyborg overlord...

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | November 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Report abuse

I read the headline and now the Top Gun theme is stuck in my head. Thanks Liz.

Posted by: petalceleb | November 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Ep you beat me to it. Looks like a bedazzled wrist brace for carpal tunnel. Gonna see if I can get me one of those because mine just ruins what I'm going for when I wear my Running Man outfit.

td, yes I too noticed the ?fur between the legs legs. Maybe there to prevent chafing?

Posted by: hodie | November 7, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

I think Beyonce is taking her style cues from Tyra Banks and America's Next Top Model photo shoots. Seriously, didn't they have a photo shoot with tarantulas? The first picture of Beyonce would fit right in with that.

Posted by: SugarMagnolia22 | November 7, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Not to worry. Patti LaBelle's career survived a period of even more extreme costumes for her and the group LaBelle.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

oh, on name changes. LAMO! Sasha Fierce. Bwah ha ha ha. A pet peeve of mine when celebs change their names after they're already famous. Just a publicity stunt. I'm ok with unknowns who change their name before they're well known because they have been named something unmarketable or their parents used elias's naming invention. I'll cut a break to Apple, Suri, Zuma, and even Archibald, if they decide to change their own names later. Our illustrious Bengal Star (yeah I know...you don't have to tell me), Chad Johnson changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco and see where that got him?....Exactly

Posted by: hodie | November 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

td, yes I too noticed the ?fur between the legs legs. Maybe there to prevent chafing?

Posted by: hodie | November 7, 2008 11:24 AM

***

Fur? I thought it was rust.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

Fur at the bottom of the robot outfit? Thank goodness. I was afraid it was a patch of rust.

Posted by: svnightswimming | November 7, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

I think Beyonce bears an uncanny resemblence to a Gremlin.

Posted by: skitch00 | November 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Report abuse

Gremlins? Great. You're not supposed to give *them* water. And not on account of rust...

Unless you meant an AMC Gremlin, in which case, yeah, it's about the rust.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 7, 2008 11:44 AM | Report abuse

The hand thing makes her look like Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager.

Posted by: pirate1 | November 7, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Petal, I agree on the Top Gun theme. To quote Bill Engvall "I was hearing Kenny Loggins music!"

The top picture, I had to do a double-take because I seriously thought it was Janet Jackson. It looks like that's where Beyonce is taking her image these days. An updated rhythm nation of sorts. And I agree with SugarMagnolia. It looks like one of Tyra's "scared fierce" pictures.

I definitely prefered Beyonce's Destiny Child days to her solo career.

Posted by: eet7e | November 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and in the 2nd photo, she looks like Tiger Woods in Star Trek drag.

Posted by: eet7e | November 7, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Um, is it me or, er, is there something wrong with the, er, bottom of that cyborg photo?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 7, 2008 10:56 AM

Smoldering embers perhaps?

Posted by: jes11 | November 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

In next month's Vogue:

"What Not To Wear If You Have Hips"


Posted by: dablues | November 7, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

As long as Beyonce keeps Sasha dancing on stage her career should be ok. If she(Sasha) becomes another Chris Gaines, it's over. Great now "I got friends in low places" is on repeat.

Posted by: petalceleb | November 7, 2008 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Maybe that 'danger zone' Liz was referring to was the 'fire crotch' in the Beyonce-bot suit.

Posted by: pras40 | November 7, 2008 12:24 PM | Report abuse

She also needs to speak seriously with her mother who, it is averred, designs Beyonce's wardrobe.

VTY

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 7, 2008 12:28 PM | Report abuse

House of Dereon, indeed.

Posted by: hodie | November 7, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Exhibit C: Robo-Merkin.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 7, 2008 12:41 PM | Report abuse

This certainly takes the heat off Jessica Simpson for her fashion choices.

Yeah, I think Ms. Fierce is definitely going whacky-doodle.

Posted by: rashibama | November 7, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

If Beyonce is trying to look edgy, it's not working. The get-ups in the photos make her look like she's in a really bad sci-fi movie. And if her mom designed those outfits then she (mom) needs to be medicated. Beyonce is a truly gorgeous woman - terrific skin and an amazing figure - and IMO she should play up to the glamour.

Posted by: SoMDGal | November 7, 2008 1:23 PM | Report abuse

I think Sasha Fierce is the alter ego Beyonce channels when she gets ready to perform. Kinda like the almighty Tawanda in Fried Green Tomatoes who Idgy and Evelyn channeled when they were doing something brave.

Tina Turner's Thunderdome is now playing in my head and I'm not sure if it will stop...KRAZAR!

FKA SlackingAgain

Posted by: linda1413 | November 7, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

Aw jeez everyone, I'm sorry I brought up the unfortunate fur, er, rust, etc.

Anyway, if these clothes are part of Beyonce's own design collection, she should rename it House of Carrion.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 7, 2008 1:31 PM | Report abuse

I think it's a fetish thing..like the chainmail underpants her husband wears.

Posted by: possum_pouch | November 7, 2008 1:58 PM | Report abuse

Wait, Jay-Z wears chain mail underwear, doesn't that chafe?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 7, 2008 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Hasn't someone already had the 2 final words on this?

If they haven't or if they have, I'm sayin' it again:

Chris Gaines.

Nuff said.

Posted by: wadejg | November 7, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Perhaps she took Bob Mackie as her inspiration as a designer, but Jay-Z didn't want her showing all that skin.

Let's just hope she doesn't go all Jackson Family on us with the cosmetic surgery. That, in my mind, would signify the transition to whackadoodle territory.

Posted by: 44west | November 7, 2008 2:27 PM | Report abuse

Jay-Z wears WHAT?! Oh for the -- I've said before here that I think he looks like a puffy, nondescript, Meshach Taylor ("Designing Women").

So now -- thanks to you, possum -- I have in my head a very scary visual involving Jay-Z, Dixie Carter, and a whole lotta clinking.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 7, 2008 2:29 PM | Report abuse

td, I'm visualizing Meshach Taylor and a black-faced Delta Burke lip-synching to Peaches and Herb.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

If Jay-Z wants to persuade 25 other people to send him underwear, does he send them a chain mail letter?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 7, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

Is there a little man in the back of the tiki bar sitting at the drums doing rimshots? There should be.

Posted by: hodie | November 7, 2008 3:14 PM | Report abuse

In Exhibit C above, does anyone think that Beyonce has borrowed Madonna's pubic hair?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 7, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Gahh!!!! Pass the brain bleach stat!!

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 7, 2008 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Chain mail underwear - a recipe for a DIY boyzilian...

Posted by: northgs | November 7, 2008 3:29 PM | Report abuse

Anyway, if these clothes are part of Beyonce's own design collection, she should rename it House of Carrion.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 7, 2008 1:31 PM
=======
Last week, I declared it should be renamed "House of Durian."

Posted by: mdreader01 | November 7, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

According to the kids at the MTV, Beyonce is headed into the "STEAMPUNK" zone.

http://newsroom.mtv.com/category/steampunk/

Being the old fart that I am, I had no idea what it was. The look is oddly reminiscent of Dadaism, to me. Blessedly, Dadaism IS before my time, thank you. Otherwise, I'd be old enough to be cited in a Barack Obama acceptance speech.

Posted by: mdreader01 | November 7, 2008 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Salvador Dalí, Wikipedia offers the following tidbit:

"The entertainer Cher and her husband Sonny Bono, when young, came to a party at Dalí's expensive residence in New York's Plaza Hotel and were startled when Cher sat down on an oddly shaped sexual vibrator left in an easy chair."

Um, why was Sonny startled?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 4:07 PM | Report abuse

Um, why was Sonny startled?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 4:07 PM

----------------------------------------------
Probably because his head was between Cher and the chair.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 7, 2008 4:10 PM | Report abuse

You are one dirty cryptid, Sas.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 4:16 PM | Report abuse

Linda is right - I kinda dig it in a Tina Turner Thunder Dome kind of way.

Posted by: Roxie1 | November 7, 2008 4:28 PM | Report abuse

The party in ep's honor is over on the Morning Mix page.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 7, 2008 4:46 PM | Report abuse

I read the headline and now the Top Gun theme is stuck in my head. Thanks Liz.

Posted by: petalceleb | November 7, 2008 11:17 AM
_________________________________________

Me? I got Cindy Lauper singing "She Bop" as as tune cootie, so my interpretation of "danger zone" is much closer to pras40's.

Posted by: yellojkt | November 10, 2008 10:19 AM | Report abuse

And in Picture 1, she is clearly auditioning for Seven of Nine in the Wiz-style musical remake of Star Trek: Voyager.

Posted by: yellojkt | November 10, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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