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Posted at 7:59 AM ET, 11/19/2008

Morning Mix: Jolie on Breastfeeding; Clooney on 'ER'?

By Liz Kelly

Tracy Ullman looks on as Amy Adams and Meryl Streep share a laugh at a screening of their new movie, 'Doubt,' Tuesday in Los Angeles. (Getty Images)

Wednesday

Headlines: Angelina Jolie says breastfeeding twins was "hard"... A break from acting in the stars for Nicole Kidman?... P. Diddy to play prosecutor on "CSI: Miami"... Justin Timberlake releases new single on MySpace... The 10 worst celebrity breakups, as per New York mag... Courtney Love says she's not suicidal... Chuck Norris on Prop 8 passage: Too bad, gay marriage activists... Stephen Baldwin says he was just kidding about leaving the country if Obama won... Michael Jackson too sick to make court appearance, says lawyer... Snoop Dogg visits Martha Stewart... Melanie Brown and Kelly Monaco to star in topless Vegas review (but not be topless themselves)... Heather Mills lodges complaints against three British papers for alleged invasion of privacy.

Pix: Nicole Kidman prevents wardrobe malfunction... Scarlett Johansson sexes it up for Allure photo shoot (you're welcome, guys)... Britney Spears snapped with mystery date.

Crime Watch: Prescription drugs cited in Heather Locklear DUI case.

Rumor Mill: Paging Dr. Ross: George Clooney set for an "E.R." return after all?

Blind Item: Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? -- NY Post

Say What?
"It was painful." -- Alec Baldwin on kissing Jennifer Aniston in last week's "30 Rock" episode.

Just Because: "Real Housewives of Atlanta's" Kim gets a beat down on reunion show -- and from hitmaker Dallas Austin.

By Liz Kelly  | November 19, 2008; 7:59 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Have Yourself a Merry Little Hoff-mas

Comments

See? I told you Heather Locklear wasn't really drunk.

Snoop is probably the editor for the new coffee table (jail cell?) book MarthaStyle, coming to your homes this holiday season. Fo'shizzle.

I think "too sick" is code for "I can't get my nose on this morning."

"Who is Larry King, Alex. I'll take flatulent talk show hosts for $200."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 8:30 AM | Report abuse

too bad, courtney.... too bad....

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | November 19, 2008 8:38 AM | Report abuse

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Queen Liz!

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 8:38 AM | Report abuse

Oh! Come on td. Snoop and Martha are just planning their new line of jewelry. The Stu-Dogg Collar. A dazzling display of bling with that hidden parole office transmitter.

(Next up, designer jump suits that meet all DOJ standards!)

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 8:47 AM | Report abuse

That "Real Housewives" clip makes me wonder if Bravo's Andy Cohen is the flatulent talk-show host. Between his lack of interviewing talent and then waving the cards in his face, the whole reunion show clip reeked.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

Oh, I thought you knew.

It's true. Reege has Kathy Lee follow him around with "Springtime Glade".

It's as close as she'll ever come to being on that show again.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 19, 2008 8:51 AM | Report abuse

Don't tell me, let me guess: Diddy's CSI character narrowly avoids an attempt on his life by a pair of psychopaths who work for him. Another close shave involving his nuts.


How can the 10 worst celebrity breakups list not include OJ and Nicole Simpson? Phil and Brynn Hartmann? Claudine Longet and her ski-bum boyfriend? Dr. & Jean Tarnower?


Number One Thing You Thought You'd Never Hear Out Of The Mouth Of Martha Stewart: "And you call this 'the shocker,' do you? Now that's a good thing."


"Melanie Brown and Kelly Monaco to star in topless Vegas review (but not be topless themselves)." So they're just the titular stars, I guess.


Heather Mills' complaint re: invasion of privacy - there's not enough.


Paging Dr. Ross: Will you still have the 'stache you're sporting in the picture accompanying this article in Defamer? http://defamer.com/5091531/george-clooney-keeper-of-the-stache


Flatulent talk-show host has to be Larry King. Happy 75th birthday, Larry. And geez, who died?


Alec Baldwin's remark reminds me of Tony Curtis. During the filming of Some Like It Hot he was asked what it was like kissing Marilyn Monroe. He said, “Kissing Marilyn was like kissing Adolf Hitler.”

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 9:04 AM | Report abuse

Interesting true fact: the Dirty Word filter doesn't like Claudine Longet's ski-bum boyfriend's last name.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 9:05 AM | Report abuse

How, exactly, did we get a 10 Worst Breakups list without Chuck Finley and Tawny Kitaen? What, she didn't beat him up enough?

Posted by: karmadrome | November 19, 2008 9:13 AM | Report abuse

td, you beat me to the punch on the flatulent talk show host ID.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 9:16 AM | Report abuse

Wow byoolin, I'm surprised William Shatner and Nerine Kidd didn't make your break-up list.


You know, behind Chuck Norris's beard is a gay Chuck Norris.


Nicole, if you would eat something once in a while, you may not have that problem. Just look at Scarlet Johansson. (wipes drool from keyboard....)


Thank you again Liz.


Who knew Stephen Baldwin could act? Although I'm still a little skeeved at his mention of having a Hannah Montana tattoo on his butt.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Dorkus, I also forgot Robert Blake and Bonny Lee Bakley.

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 9:47 AM | Report abuse

Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? -- NY Post

Geee, I always thought it was Elena which would account for the Cruise couch jumping!

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Claudine Longet! Now I have to find a video clip of that 70s-era SNL skit where Chevy Chase (and somebody else, Jane Curtin maybe?) hosted the "Claudine Longet Ski Invitational." Everytime a skier begins the run he suddenly falls. "Oh no, it appears he's just been shot by Claudine Longet!"

(And byoolin, "titular stars"? Oh the PAIN. Also, right now someone reading your comment is googling "Tarnower" and learning about the Scarsdale Diet.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice,CHRISTIAN young lady.Clones(not 1)made in GERMANY,leader manufacturer of humans clones,it's in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,Rhineland-Palatinate,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town,they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you'll be controlled too.Original family didn't authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it's all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the wy

Posted by: galabs2000 | November 19, 2008 10:44 AM | Report abuse

I think we have established that we are actually ok with Scarlet being a clone and there being more than one of them.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Uh, ole Elias must be so full of joy and whatever about the ScarJo pixs that he mistyped a name. Let ole Elias try again.

"Geee, I always thought it was Ellen which would account for the Cruise couch jumping!"

But I think the Lizards knew what I meant in the first place.


Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 10:51 AM | Report abuse

galabs2000, what is your point?

I thought ER was cancelled, terminated, fin. I guess I just wished.

Steven, Heather Mills, Courtney, and Chuck, please STFU.

I hope Britney had fun on her date. It's good to see her acting, you know, not nutso.

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

Try again, Elias.... Wee Tom jumped the couches on Oprah, not Ellen.

Posted by: dablues1 | November 19, 2008 10:58 AM | Report abuse

Oh, and breastfeeding ONE kid was absolutely, without doubt the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Kudos to Angie for breastfeeding two of them, I doubt I could have done it.

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Oh, and breastfeeding ONE kid was absolutely, without doubt the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Kudos to Angie for breastfeeding two of them, I doubt I could have done it.

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 10:59 AM

*******************************************

Yeah, I doubt I could have done it either...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 11:01 AM | Report abuse

galabs2000's post helps me understand that very weird interview I saw the other day on Entertainment Tonight.


MARY HART: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: What one?
MARY HART: What?
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: What desert?
MARY HART: It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: But, how come I'd be there?
MARY HART: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise, Scarlett. It's crawling toward you...
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: Tortoise? What's that?
MARY HART: [irritated by SCARLETT JOHANSSON's interruptions] You know what a turtle is?
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: Of course!
MARY HART: Same thing.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: I've never seen a turtle... But I understand what you mean.
MARY HART: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Scarlett. SCARLETT JOHANSSON: Do you make up these questions, Ms. Hart? Or do they write 'em down for you?
MARY HART: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I'm not helping?
MARY HART: I mean you're not helping! Why is that, Scarlett?
[SCARLETT JOHANSSON has become visibly shaken]
MARY HART: They're just questions, Scarlett. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

Try again, Elias.... Wee Tom jumped the couches on Oprah, not Ellen.


I guess ole Elias has been spend too much time in the lab and not enough on TMZ!

Amended statement,

"Whoever jumped on whose couch, I thought it was that person!"

Now, can we dance?

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 11:12 AM | Report abuse

Wee Tom (I love that moniker) called his marriage to Nicole Kidman a "passionless hell" (the 10 worst celebrity breakups link)?

Actually, that kinda makes sense. Her best role to date has been in "To Die For" where her character is described as "a four letter word beginning with C." (The word is "cold,' smut minds.)

The woman does not exude warmth in any capacity. The entire time I watched "Moulin Rouge" I kept thinking, "stop singing and die already!"

Tom may be right on this one. But why marry Nicole in the first place (not to mention wait 10 years to divorce)? The kids maybe. ?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, I doubt I could have done it either...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 11:01 AM
***

Actually, Dorkus, apparently, you can.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_lactation

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

Valgal, I don't know whether to be relieved or horrified by that.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 11:25 AM | Report abuse

I know. Let's just say, for the record, that MrGal did NOT participate in this way. Ew, ew, ew, ew!

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Gives a whole meaning to the title of this post, "Breastfeeding Clooney." Perhaps George can offer assistance. (I'm also waiting for Sas' take.)

And sometime today I am going to have to work into a conversation, "I've never seen a turtle... But I understand what you mean."

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

I heart Scarlett Johansson.

A day without attention-wh*re Angelina Jolie desperately doing anything to keep herself in the media. Oh, if wishing made it so ...

Posted by: Californian11 | November 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Report abuse

By the way Megan Fox is looking good in the gallery pictures today.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 12:00 PM | Report abuse

Someone needs to tell Heather Mills it is not an invasion of privacy if the papers print the press release you send them.

P. Diddy acting opposite David Caruso. Owe the humanity.

Posted by: epjd | November 19, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Whoa! I think I've entered a weird parallel universe. I thought it said Snoop Dog was on Martha Stewart. What's next Martha, will you teach me how to krump? 'Cause I think I got Snoopguesics down now.

Details of Jackson's purported malady wasn't disclosed, but Thanki suggested that the issue could be resolved by applying a dressing "if the diagnosis is positive."

mmmmh, what could that be? Tinea Corporis (aka ringworm or athelete's foot) Jacko has Jockitch? No he definitely couldn't sit still on a plane with that! Keep those excuses coming MJ, give your team time to hide whatever assets you have left. Talk to your sister, she was able to cancel almost an entire concert season with her mystery ailment.

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Report abuse

speaking of turtles, this is kind of old but hilarious
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 12:30 PM | Report abuse

What? All this talk of ScarJo for the boys, but not even a shout out for the divine, abtacular, extremely worthy choice for People's "Sexiest Man Alive" Hugh Jackman?

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/peoples-sexiest-man-alive-hugh-jackman/15572?nc

A side note, it's interesting to read Nicole's "Oh My God, Women's jaws drop when he walks in the room"--I heard the exact same wording from someone who worked on one of his films. It helps also that he's a genuinely nice guy.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | November 19, 2008 12:53 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat,

I think that Liz is still suffering from EWS (Elijah Wood Syndrome) but I hope she will be cured soon!

Posted by: elias_howe | November 19, 2008 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Oh, and breastfeeding ONE kid was absolutely, without doubt the hardest thing I ever did in my life. Kudos to Angie for breastfeeding two of them, I doubt I could have done it.

Posted by: VaLGaL | November 19, 2008 10:59 AM

*******************************************

Yeah, I doubt I could have done it either...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 11:01 AM
-----------------------------------------

Looks like ScarJo would have no problem.

Thanks much, Liz!

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Which talk-show host has a flatulence problem so bad, he's said to have an assistant follow him around with an odor-vaporizing spray can? -- NY Post

-------------------------------------

I take it that Tim Russert is no longer in the farting...errrr.....running.

I think that td and Byool are right: Larry King makes scents.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 1:55 PM | Report abuse

I'd say that some of those "breakups" that byoolin listed weren't on the "offical" list since it wasn't called "Worst Celeb/Pseudo-Celeb/Trophy Wife/Trophy Skier/ Murders."

Yeah TECHNICALLY they broke up but really, they got dead instead.

Posted by: wadejg | November 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Report abuse

The use of the present tense "has" tends to remove the late Mr. Russert from consideration. My choice: Rush Limbaugh, who may fart from at least two orifices simultaneously.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

In defense of Spider Sabi!ch (who wound up on the wrong end of Mrs. Andy Williams' gun), he was no ski-bum but actually a genuine skiing champion, Olympics and all.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

And today, of all days, is Larry King's birthday!!!

Guess how he plans to blow out those 75 candles on his cake?

What do you mean, you don't want him to cut a slice for you?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Guess how he plans to blow out those 75 candles on his cake?

What do you mean, you don't want him to cut a slice for you?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 2:04 PM

*******************************************

Wouldn't that pose a fire risk? And his he really only 75? My god he did not age well.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | November 19, 2008 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Yes, Spider Sab|ch was a World Cup Champion, but to Claudine Longet, he obviously was a bum, and a no-good one at that. "Ooops! Claudine must have been cleaning the gun!"

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 2:10 PM | Report abuse

If anyone were to try to "blow out" candles with flatulence, I'd think the Fire Department would need to be in the house.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, you mean like this?

http://www.broadcaster.com/clip/10093

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 2:17 PM | Report abuse

Maybe its Oprah. I can't believe Rush Limbaugh or Larry King would care if they farted on anyone.

My neighbors recently went to an Oprah taping. They said she had gained a ton of weight and she looked very ill. They said she had trouble walking. She came out on the stage in slippers and once seated, an assistant came out and put stilleto heels on her feet. I can see the same assistant with a can of Febreeze.

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 2:26 PM | Report abuse

Sas, my eyes! my eyes!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

So is Amy Adams really laughing or did Meryl Streep just stomp on her foot?

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of Larry King, does he still do that lame column in USA Today where he burps out random nonsequitors, e.g., "I love autumn . . . how about that Markie Post! . . . bagels! . . . one day Shatner will win an Oscar. . ."?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 2:31 PM | Report abuse

Thanks to you all, I have that wonderful Rolling Stones song, "Claudine" running through my head....enjoy y'all!

Now only Spider knows for sure
But he ain't talkin' about it any more
Is he, Claudine?

There's blood in the chalet
And blood in the snow
She washed her hands of the whole damn show, Claudine

Shot him once right through the head
Shot him twice right through the chest
The judge says ruled it was an accident, Claudine
Accidents will happen

Posted by: mdreader01 | November 19, 2008 2:33 PM | Report abuse

Maybe its Oprah. I can't believe Rush Limbaugh or Larry King would care if they farted on anyone.

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 2:26 PM

****

If it were Oprah, the lackey's job would be to collect it for repackaging as another item available from The O Store, where Oprah's adoring millions would fork over $49.95 for a whiff of "O! The Humanity!"

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 2:36 PM | Report abuse

If it were Oprah, the lackey's job would be to collect it for repackaging as another item available from The O Store, where Oprah's adoring millions would fork over $49.95 for a whiff of "O! The Humanity!"

OR it would be the gift that each audience member gets to take home for their very own.

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 2:38 PM | Report abuse

"O! The Humanity!" --byoolin

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

... but I'd be willing to bet that "O! The Humanity!" would still be easier on the nose than either "McGraw" or "Why Does This Fanuc Smell Like Paulie Walnuts?"

Posted by: byoolin1 | November 19, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

"O! The Humanity!" --byoolin

Or maybe call it Eau-prah?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

Or maybe call it Eau-prah?

very good Nosy! I'm sure it smells like roses

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

On the same page as the flatulence story, this:

WHICH hit television show sidekick kicked an aspiring actress out of his cab after she refused to go to his apartment with him to "cuddle over milk and cookies"?

I'm hoping it's someone who would be in high dudgeon at being termed a mere "sidekick."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 3:36 PM | Report abuse

I think I'd name the fragrance "O, Gawd!"

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 3:49 PM | Report abuse

So what letch sidekicks do we know? Anyone?

Posted by: hodie | November 19, 2008 4:11 PM | Report abuse

hodie, I was also wondering what "milk and cookies" are code-words for.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | November 19, 2008 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Sex and drugs?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 4:42 PM | Report abuse

What's all this about Paulie's walnuts?

Is Paul Shaffer Dave's sidekick? Is that a milk mustache?

Is "O! the Humanity" a new scent for holiday giving? Does it smell like rotten eggs?

Have I told you about my Fart-O-Meter, which measures the farts left in an old couch or chair so a second-hand buyer wouldn't be duped into a piece of furniture that's ready to explode?

Sincerely,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | November 19, 2008 5:59 PM | Report abuse

A rare video of Larry King "warming up" the studio audience:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9Nn8JHtIok

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | November 19, 2008 6:02 PM | Report abuse

That video is hilarious, Sas. What a doof.

Here's a link to the transcript of the SNL/Claudine Longet sketch I mentioned: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75rski.phtml

Jessica Antlerdance: That looked almost like skeet shooting!
[Tom and Jessica laugh playfully]
Tom Tryman: You must mean ski shooting!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | November 19, 2008 6:56 PM | Report abuse

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