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Posted at 6:16 AM ET, 12/17/2008

Morning Mix: Madonna and Guy, Still Basking in Glow of Divorce

By Jen Chaney
Wednesday

Headlines: Madonna and Guy Ritchie reportedly happy about divorce terms (um, if you were Guy Ritchie, wouldn't you be?)... Macaulay Culkin's family "absolutely heartbroken" over sister's death... Tensions mount over Screen Actors Guild vote... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber name second son Samuel Kai Schreiber... Tom Cruise reportedly would love to see little Suri become an actress... Marilyn Monroe pics sold for nearly $150K... Lo Bosworth says Heidi Montag was drunk when she wed Spencer Pratt...

Casting Call: Is Robert Pattinson in talks to join the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise?.. Jessica Alba joins "Office" Super Bowl episode alongside other high-wattage guest stars, including Jack Black.

Tom Cruise Makes a List!
Watch the star of "Valkyrie" poke fun at himself (and struggle to pronounce "heimlich") while doing a top 10 list on last night's "Late Show With David Letterman":

By Jen Chaney  | December 17, 2008; 6:16 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: You Name the Best Picture

Comments

Tom Cruise Makes a List!
Watch the star of Tom Cruise Makes a List!
Watch the star of "Valkyrie"
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"Valkyrie"- a warm hearted look at the zany antics of the Third Reich - opening on Christmas Day. Bring the kiddies.

Posted by: jezebel3 | December 17, 2008 7:55 AM | Report abuse

Madonna and Guy Ritchie reportedly happy about divorce terms (um, if you were Guy Ritchie, wouldn't you be?)...

-Jen Chaney, excellent snarkitude, you took the words right out of my mouth.


Lo Bosworth says Heidi Montag was drunk when she wed Spencer Pratt...

I should hope so, I'd hate to think she made that decision sober.


Tom, you spent all those months filming in Germany and you have trouble with Heimlich?


Tom Cruise reportedly would love to see little Suri become an actress...

-I could say the same thing about both you and Katie Holmes.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 8:38 AM | Report abuse

Oh, High and Mighty Chieftan of Lizard Island (that's you, Dorkus) have outdid yourself this morning. Good Job.

What would it take to make Tom Cruise and his darling little family go away? For ever. Period, period, x, y, z

Yours in Snark,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | December 17, 2008 8:53 AM | Report abuse

um. . .I thought TC reading the list was pretty funny. He looks good since he dropped a few pounds.

Posted by: jelo | December 17, 2008 9:07 AM | Report abuse

TC always looks good until you realize he's so short...and also a crazy person.

Posted by: mannc | December 17, 2008 9:12 AM | Report abuse

mannc, I hope you aren't implying that being short is a detriment. Not that I'm saying I'm short.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 9:23 AM | Report abuse

Celebritologists will be drunk with happiness when Heincer finally boards that Manhattan Project and leave the planet.

Posted by: petalceleb | December 17, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Is it just me, or does anyone else think Tom Cruise rehired a publicist...

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | December 17, 2008 9:39 AM | Report abuse

For $76 million, I'd divorce Madonna, too! Why not?

Not sure I'd marry her for so small a sum, though.

Posted by: thrh | December 17, 2008 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Chasmosaur, you may be right about the new publicist. He is now using his acting skills to appear humble.

Posted by: hodie | December 17, 2008 10:01 AM | Report abuse

Call *me* crazy, but I never minded that TC revealed himself to be kookoo bananas. And I never minded he was short. I didn't love his movies or anything, but if wants to couchjump and give his money to a cult, well, then have at it shrimpy.

Posted by: jelo | December 17, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

For $76 million, I'd divorce Madonna, too! Why not?

Not sure I'd marry her for so small a sum, though.

Posted by: thrh | December 17, 2008 9:57 AM

Very well done!

Posted by: jes11 | December 17, 2008 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Now vying for Madonna's hand in marriage: Rod Blagojevich, Bernard Madoff, the entire board of General Motors, CEO of Bank of America, and China.

The union said about 50 actors -- including Mel Gibson, Martin Sheen, Ed Harris, Hal Holbrook and former SAG President Ed Asner -- had signed a "statement of support." STOP THE PRESSES! Ed Asner and Mel Gibson agree on something!


Posted by: mdreader01 | December 17, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

STOP THE PRESSES! Ed Asner and Mel Gibson agree on something!

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 17, 2008 11:00 AM

Rehab.

Posted by: jezebel3 | December 17, 2008 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Liev and Naomi, we are deeply grateful to you for giving your children normal names. Blessings be upon you.

Posted by: jaybbub | December 17, 2008 11:24 AM | Report abuse

TC is actually a great choice for Valkyrie. Like his character, he is young, handsome, and crazy. If he learns how to pronounce "Heimlich," in a few years he can do the title role in a remake of "Hitler, the Last 10 Days."

Posted by: reddragon1 | December 17, 2008 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Of course, the rich actors want the deal signed now, so they can get their millions of dollars per picture. The deal is for the protection of the person who plays the waitress in the diner, or the concierge of the hotel. So they can pay their mortgage on their modest home.

Stepping off soapbox now (and I don't normally like unions).

Umm, there is no good snark yet. Dorkus covered everything so well.

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 12:12 PM | Report abuse

Well done, Dorkus!

Next up for TC: "Gemütlichkeit"? Or any word containing an umlaut.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 17, 2008 12:37 PM | Report abuse

I'm only trying to pick up the slack since byoolin, td, and Sasquatch all seem to be AWOL today.

I appreciate the solidarity the big name stars want to show for the little guys, but it occurs to me, that maybe next time the big name guys forgo the $20 million salary and use their individual negotiating power to have more money be paid to the bit part actors.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 12:44 PM | Report abuse

How was your fieldtrip, Dorkus? "Night at the Museum"?

I concur with ep and Dorkus' comments re solidarity with the bit-part actors, although I'm generally more pro-union than ep (it's a family-value thing).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 17, 2008 12:52 PM | Report abuse

Okay, the problem is the Big Name actors are NOT expressing solidarity for the bit part actors. The Big Name Actors want the current deal which is no residuals, no no new media, etc. The Big Name Actors will still negotiate for this in their individual picture deals. The bit part actors don't have the leverage to do so, leaving them stuck with whatever the basic deal is. So, right now the Big Names are screwing over the little guys to just keep being able to pay for their porsches and Malibu mansions.

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Alexander and Samuel. Thank you, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber. Let's hope this heralds a return to normal names.

I don't know, Curmudgeon, but whatever it is, I'm in. Anything to make the crazy Cruises just. shut. up.

Posted by: Californian11 | December 17, 2008 1:14 PM | Report abuse

I think Guy Ritchie earned every cent of that divorce- imagine living in the world that centers around that ex wife of his. Macrobiotic food, kaballah, no television, no old mates to visit. Congrats guvna, I would have walked away for $1.

Posted by: plamar1031 | December 17, 2008 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Alright, I admit to only giving a cursory glance to the SAG article, so I may have misspoke on some things.

Also, Nosy, the field trip was pretty good. Well, except for it being mostly standing in the middle of the Texas hill country in freezing weather and no shelter whatsoever. At one point I began to lose feeling in my fingers. But, at the same time we were performing explosive testing, so yay for big explosions.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Well, Dorkus, maybe it'll tide you over till New Year's Eve fireworks.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 17, 2008 1:53 PM | Report abuse

You play with chemicals AND cause things to go boom.

Whoa.

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

ou play with chemicals AND cause things to go boom.

Whoa.

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 2:18 PM

*******************************************

ep, I also get to play with fire, but I do try to keep the chemicals, fire, and booms separated.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 2:21 PM | Report abuse

ep, do you have anything special planned for tomorrow's big swearing-in? Lunch, dinner, a grand soirée? I'm hoping methinks (or whatever she's registered as these days) shows up in time to open the Tiki Bar early in your honor. Again, congrats on your big accomplishment!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 17, 2008 2:36 PM | Report abuse

Ooh fire too. Seriously, combine those three and I would die (literally) a happy woman.

No big plans for tomorrow. Going to come home and update my resume to say "barred in maryland." Still looking for work so can't afford anything more exciting.

For those really bored, you can find the ceremony online at the Maryland State Bar Examiners website. It will be archived for later viewing.

Lo Bosworth? Does she only have to go to rehab once, unlike LiLo?

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Going to come home and update my resume to say "barred in maryland." -ep

*******************************************

That sounds painful.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Going to come home and update my resume to say "barred in maryland." -ep

*******************************************

That sounds painful.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 17, 2008 2:53 PM

--------------------------------------------

As ep might say, it's a helluva lot better than saying "disbarred."

ep, Does the MD Bar Association make new lawyers swear on a Bible, under penalty of perjury, or the lawyer's choice?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | December 17, 2008 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Well, you can swear or affirm, so I guess it's lawyer's choice. It's not like we stand there individually and take the oath. It's a group thang to get it over with quickly.

Posted by: epjd | December 17, 2008 4:15 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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