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Posted at 8:06 AM ET, 12/ 4/2008

Morning Mix: Lawyer -- Boy George 'Too Fat' to Attack Male Escort

By Liz Kelly
Thursday

Headlines: Britney Spears's "Circus" video leaked on Japanese site (may take a few secs to load)...
Tom Hanks says he'd gladly stand in crowd to attend inauguration... Oprah moving show to D.C. during inauguration week... John Hamm to play Tina Fey's love interest on "30 Rock"... Madonna meets Argentina's president, ex-hostage... George Clooney, Mariah Carey among stars to sign bowls for hunger relief charity auction... Victoria Beckham launches line of dresses... Mom gives Heidi Montag's marriage "six months"... Jennifer Aniston says she "longs" for motherhood... Anne Heche expecting... "Baywatch" alumna Gena Lee Nolin gives birth to baby girl... Badass Samuel L. Jackson honored at Cinematheque Awards... Stephen Colbert wants to trounce Kanye West in album sales... "Twilight's" Kristen Stewart to play Joan Jett in upcoming biopic... "Project Runway" winner Christian Siriano to design shoes for Payless... Woman sues Tyler Perry for copyright infringement... "Real Housewives of Atlanta's" NeNe evicted.

Pix: Kate Winslet walks "The Reader" red carpet... Madonna strikes a pose for Louis Vuitton.

Video: Star-studded cast in "Prop 8 - The Musical":

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Crime Watch: Mark Ruffalo's brother shot in the head... Lawyer says Boy George was "too fat" to attack male escort.

Rumor Mill: Jamie Lynn Spears had liposuction while pregnant, claims tabloid... Miley Cyrus filing for emancipation from parents?... Paris Hilton lobbies to play TInkerbell in live action "Peter Pan"... Paula Abdul selling house where stalker committed suicide... Britney Spears "out of it" at birthday bash?... Kate Moss expecting?

Vote:<strong> Comic Riffs asks which star could play the lead in "Mark Twain: The Movie"

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's Celebritology Live discussion.

---


TONIGHT! Mighty Appetite blogger Kim O'Donnel and I will be on hand Thursday, Dec. 4 from 6 - 8 p.m. for an official meet-and-greet at D.C.'s M Bar at the Renaissance M St Hotel. We'll have one-night only drink specials and one attendee will go home with a special iPod shuffle. Come on out. We can't wait to meet you. (Facebookers: Details here.)

By Liz Kelly  | December 4, 2008; 8:06 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

Parallels: While George & Mariah are signing bowls for hunger relief, Snoop Dogg and Woody Harrelson are smoking bowls and getting the munchies.


Since Posh's dresses are always so short, shouldn't it be, "launches line segment of dresses"?


Mom gives Heidi Montag's marriage "six months" - Given those reports that her daughter's wedding was "symobolic" and not actually legal, it would appear Momma Montag overshot the mark by six months.


"See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die" - what the hell is that, Liz Kelly, some kind of challenge to your masochistic readers?


Boy George was "too fat" to attack male escort. And the trial judge is "too smart" to buy that argument, tubby.


While Paris is out servicing anyone who might get her that role in "Peter Pan," Sandy Duncan is out buying a .357 Magnum.


Maybe Simon will buy Paula's house, and every morning on the way to work he'll look at the spot and repeat himself: "Pathetic. Worst suicide ever."

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 4, 2008 8:50 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the musical clip, Liz Kelly. I want to be a part of their cool club over at Funny or Die. Sigh.

Also, I want Kate Winslet's dress. Oh, and her figure.

Posted by: aesully | December 4, 2008 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Jen A. ought to make an appointment with that "Twins R Us" baby doctor. That shoud fix everything, hon.

Project Runway winner is designing for Payless? My, his mom must be proud.

Don't worry about your cash cow Billy Ray, it's just a teen thing.

Sincerely,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | December 4, 2008 8:56 AM | Report abuse

Tom Hanks, here's an idea for you. If you have trouble getting a seat for the inauguration, just go find Peter Scolari and a couple of dresses and wigs....you know, this could make a great sit-com.


Quick poll, would you rather be held hostage by rebel factions or spend an hour with Madonna? Somebody ask Guy Ritchie.


Says Mrs. Beckham: "I’ve worn so many and when I see the photographs I think, crikey, my boobs are up round my neck again because the corsets are too short and not cut high enough."

She actually says crikey. How can you not love that?


Okay, weird confluence of the universe moment, I was reading the article about Samuel L. Jackson and the theme from Shaft started playing over the radio. Can you dig it?


Christian Siriano, wow, Payless, that's like the epitome of fierce.


Kate Winslet, as always looking good.


Boy George too fat? Is this the natural evolution of the Twinkie Defense?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 4, 2008 8:59 AM | Report abuse

Paris Hilton playing Tinkerbell? What's next--Dave Spade as Tiny Tim?

Posted by: Raysmom | December 4, 2008 9:01 AM | Report abuse

Sigh. I'd like Jon Hamm to play my love interest. He wouldn't even have to mean it.

Posted by: pras40 | December 4, 2008 9:06 AM | Report abuse

I just found out why everyone is using Liz Kelly's name. I've been out of it.

Props to Tina Fey, I'd have numerous rehearsals.

Props to the Prop 8 musical, love NPH.

I can just see Boy George wearing a peanut butter stained t-shirt that can't fit over his stomach. Wheezing because he used up all of his energy to kidnap his victim and handcuff him but he needs a minute to recover before attacking the escort. Too fat indeed, whacky celebs and their lawyers.

Sympathies to Mark Ruffalo and his family.

Posted by: petalceleb | December 4, 2008 9:27 AM | Report abuse

"I can just see Boy George wearing a peanut butter stained t-shirt that can't fit over his stomach. Wheezing because he used up all of his energy to kidnap his victim and handcuff him but he needs a minute to recover before attacking the escort."


If that t-shirt has the WVU logo on it, I'm pretty sure Boy George is a regular customer at the Kroger store a few blocks from my place.

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 4, 2008 9:35 AM | Report abuse

Chat Day: Join me at 2 p.m. ET for this week's Celebritology Live discussion.

AKA The Pretentious Bores' Club.

Posted by: jezebel3 | December 4, 2008 9:35 AM | Report abuse

Boy Gorge?

Posted by: MStreet1 | December 4, 2008 9:59 AM | Report abuse

Tom Hanks, great guy, I can see him with the rest of us cheering from the curb. I'm not sure though that I can see Empress Oprah tolerating another event amongst the great unwashed masses.

Madonna, classy photo as usual with the Louis Vutton. You sure are getting some miles from Sasquatch's hide.

Rumor about Jamie Lynn Spears has to be false. Not even the sleazeball docs would do liposuction on a pregnant woman.

Will Posh's dress line have sizes larger than 2?

Stephen Colbert was hilarious in his plugs for his Christmas CD. He's also right, need to put the arrogant Kanye in his place and leave the arrogance to him because he does it soooo much better. I love Stephen Colbert! Did anyone actually buy it at 5pm yesterday as he requested?

Liz Kelly, hope the meet and greet is a sucess. I would love to go but you know the 8 hr commute just isn't gonna happen. Who's going tonight?

Posted by: hodie | December 4, 2008 10:01 AM | Report abuse

methinks sez: I'm afraid I will miss the Meet & Greet tonight. I am in Atlanta. Will pictures be taken and shared with those less fortunate Lizards?

Posted by: pras40 | December 4, 2008 10:09 AM | Report abuse

Too fat to attack someone? Tell that the the jury that convicted Fatty Arbuckle.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 4, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Why someone should pay 1800 pounds for a Victoria Beckham dress:

“Like I knew I would spend a lot on the best-quality zips because, like many women, I’ve had my share of crappy zips.

“I wanted a zip that undoes from both ends so you can put the dress on over your head or, if you don’t want to mess up your hair, you can step into it – and, you know, going to the loo wouldn’t be this big palaver.”

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 4, 2008 10:19 AM | Report abuse

Fatty Arbuckle wasn't convicted by a jury, despite three trials, and in fact was presented with a written apology after the third trial.

This has been your random factoid of the day. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Posted by: Wikijen | December 4, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

Miley's filing for emancipation? What took so long? Did she finally realize what a ridiculous birthname Destiny Hope was? Or did her 20-year-old boyfriend get jealous about those Annie L. photos with her dad?

Boy George still makes me laugh, though apparently his stomach can't stop singing, "I'll Rumble 4 Ya." (He knows all there is to know about The Eating Game.) I can just see him now at the dessert bar at Golden Corral.

I would rather see Jennifer Aniston "long" for anonymity. Soon we'll be made to sufferable innumerable previews for that "Marley & Me" movie. (Jennifer AND Owen Wilson? Just shoot me now.)

And didn't some tabloid talk about recently how Michelle Obama was not going to be upstaged by Oprah once her husband takes office? Our future First Lady better start having her designers sew kevlar into her outfits now. (New reality show idea: The Battle of the Os!)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | December 4, 2008 10:23 AM | Report abuse

Books - clothes - celebs are so multi-talented! I can't wait until Victoria or the Olsen twins take up another profession - perhaps as architects? How great would that be? To buy a home designed by the multi-talented Mrs. Beckham?

"Like I knew I would leave room for the biggest closets because, like many women, I've had my share of closet-sized one. SO, I did away with the unneccesary kitchen to make more room! Since I don't eat, I certainly don't need space wasted on a kitchen!"

Posted by: Amelia5 | December 4, 2008 10:28 AM | Report abuse

Madonna appears to be wearing a truffula tree for a skirt.

And Kate Winslet is superhot as always.

Posted by: moonwatcher13 | December 4, 2008 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Addition to my Hetro crush list...

Kate Winslet

Posted by: LTL1 | December 4, 2008 10:45 AM | Report abuse

If memory serves, Madonna learned she was pregnant with Lourdes the last time she was in Argentina -- filming "Evita." (Not saying she'll have similar news now.) In that other photo, she looks like she's wearing a Muppet.

Paris, honey? Playing Tinkerbell wasn't exactly the smartest career movie for Julia Roberts ("Hook"), so . . . wait, go for it! You'd be GREAT.

I can just imagine the real estate listing for Paula Abdul's house: 10 rms, stalker vue. Owner willing to sell both liquor cabinet and framed platinum album of "Forever Your Girl" to prospective buyer. Inquire within.

Jon Hamm is sure getting a lotta mileage out of a show that supposedly nobody watches. Work it, buddy!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | December 4, 2008 10:50 AM | Report abuse

I didn't think it was possible I could want to be Tina Fey even more, but the John Hamm thing does it.

Posted by: Roxie1 | December 4, 2008 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Fatty Arbuckle wasn't convicted by a jury, despite three trials, and in fact was presented with a written apology after the third trial.

This has been your random factoid of the day. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Posted by: Wikijen | December 4, 2008 10:21 AM
======
Well, then, tell that to the jury that convicted OJ Simpson.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 4, 2008 10:59 AM | Report abuse

I decided to check out the Eye on Entertainment photos, and good GOD! What's with the Versace's? I always knew they were a little funny looking, but the ugly tree runs strong in that family. Donatella looks exactly like a plasticized muppet - probably a mix between Janice and Ms Piggy. Meanwhile, her daughter has such an unfortunate profile. She looks like one of those fish with the dangly light in front of it (angler fish?).

Jennifer Aniston longs for motherhood...I nominate myself for adoption with promises that I'd be a million times cooler to have as a child than Maddox, Shiloh, Pax, etc.

Go Stephen Colbert, GO!

Don't think I'm going to make the happy hour tonight as I planned. Two dogs at home + recent back injury + the White House Christmas Tree lighting making traffic horrid = I'm getting the hell out of the city as soon as I can.

Posted by: eet7e | December 4, 2008 11:00 AM | Report abuse

Don't knock Christian Siriano. In the middle of a global recession, do you want to be hawking fancy dresses with two-way zips for 1,800 pounds or selling a line of $30 shoes at Payless?

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 4, 2008 11:05 AM | Report abuse

Well done, mdreader. I'll let you introduce Misses Rappe and Brown Simpson to the Lindbergh baby.

Posted by: byoolin1 | December 4, 2008 11:16 AM | Report abuse

I'll be at the gathering this evening. I have the benefit of taking metro. Well...... I'll be on metro so I can make it.

Byoolin,
I can't quite make out the logo on the t-shirt. It may very well be him.

Posted by: petalceleb | December 4, 2008 11:18 AM | Report abuse

What is so difficult about going to the loo in a dress? I think it makes it easier. The hair thing doesn't make sense either b/c if there is a zipper, you usually step into a dress. We must be talking some very tight dresses here, otherwise. No wonder they don't come larger than 14, wouldn't be a pretty site.

Posted by: hodie | December 4, 2008 11:32 AM | Report abuse

We must be talking some very tight dresses here, otherwise. No wonder they don't come larger than 14, wouldn't be a pretty site.

Posted by: hodie | December 4, 2008 11:32 AM

******************************************

hodie, I think Posh believes that only short, tight dresses exist in the world. Not that I'm complaining about her wardrobe.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 4, 2008 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Yeah Dorkus, Mr. Hodie agrees with you too about short and tight. And I would oblige him if it weren't subfreezing where I live. Posh would become an icicle in 30 secs flat if she came here. Wait a minute, she already is an icicle in Southern Cali.

Posted by: hodie | December 4, 2008 12:39 PM | Report abuse


hodie, I think Posh believes that only short, tight dresses exist in the world. Not that I'm complaining about her wardrobe.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | December 4, 2008 11:34 AM

========================================

Dorkus, your Chieftanship,

posh is correct: only short, tight dresses exist in the world.

Try and shop in for a "real woman" size. They don't exist.

But of course, this isn't Posh's problem, it's Beck's. Sorry for the gristley woman you have, man.

Yours,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | December 4, 2008 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Amelia5
I can't wait until Victoria or the Olsen twins take up another profession - perhaps as architects?

You might be thinking of Brad Pitt here.


Dorkus, you snatched that Twinkie (defense) right out of my mouth! Excellent snark.


Can't make it to the meet/greet owing to geography, but in honor of tonight's bash I'd like to share the following, for those attendees for whom it's not contra-indicated.
*****

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and
awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.


Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 4, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Kate Winslet is rockin that Herve Leger dress- she cleans up very nicely. I either have a girl crush or wish I could look like that!

Posted by: plamar1031 | December 4, 2008 2:40 PM | Report abuse

Nosy,

Thanks for the reminder. It's a shame we won't have the island bartender in attendance.

Posted by: petalceleb | December 4, 2008 3:00 PM | Report abuse

petal, Thanks. Of course, I didn't write it, just copied and pasted (should've caught those darn formatting glitches first, though).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 4, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Unfortunately, Nosy, LIZ KELLY and her erstwhile sidekick, Kim O'Donnel, have promised us "Andy Warhol-themed drinks."

You know, that could have been a perfectly respectable Friday List right there.

I'm thinkin', hmmm...Andy Warhol, Polish, Pittburgh, art scene.... Vodka with an Iron City chaser served in a Campbell's Soup can.

Then, attempt to find the Farragut North Metro station in a drunken stupor.

This should be a rip roarin' time. You should be jealous you're missing this.

Posted by: mdreader01 | December 4, 2008 5:12 PM | Report abuse

mdreader01
I'm thinkin', hmmm...Andy Warhol, Polish, Pittburgh, art scene.... Vodka with an Iron City chaser served in a Campbell's Soup can.

byoolin, can ya help us out here?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | December 4, 2008 5:17 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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