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Posted at 9:58 PM ET, 01/16/2009

Hey Celebs, Here's a Little Inaugural Advice

By Liz Kelly

Scarlett Johansson. (Getty Images)

If there's one thing Celebritology readers know, it's celebrity. Or D.C. Or both. Which is why last week I asked readers to offer advice to the hordes of outsized egos $50K inaugural committee donors Hollywood royalty descending on D.C.

Without further ado, the eight most entertaining, though not necessarily useful, tips:

8

The Scientology headquarters is in Dupont Circle, but you already knew that, didn't you?

7

Don't put anything in your evening bag that you would be embarrassed to show a Secret Service agent.

6

One is supposed to observe the silence at the Jefferson Memorial so I would recommend that Kanye West spend most of his time there.

5

If someone offers you a stimulus package, just say "thanks but no thanks." It probably won't be cash.

4

Everyone wear purple and black -- Ravens colors. You will receive many grateful comments and greetings by the locals!

3

Ahem, Scarlett, I have an inaugural event for you... in my pants. (Yeah I'm not proud of that one either). (Okay, that's not really advice, but you have to admit it is funny. -- Liz)

2

Stay home. The weather is much better in California and you can see everything just as well on your gazillion-inch TV. Not to mention, you can walk around in your pajamas and no one will mind.

1

If you must come: stand right, walk left.

Many thanks to the contributors. Attribution -- and a full list of well-intentioned suggestions -- can be found here.

By Liz Kelly  | January 16, 2009; 9:58 PM ET
Categories:  Celebrities, Inauguration  
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Next: Inaugural Gawking: Where Will Oprah Be?

Comments

Weekend snark!!!!! Yaaay.

Like we are going outside. So c'mon Lizards.

Good choices Liz. Except you really should have included methinks advice about going to the war memorials and remembering you are not the center of the universe.

Posted by: epjd | January 16, 2009 11:20 PM | Report abuse

Liz,
As someone form the area, I would think that you would have a little better sense than to suggest your choice of colors and team on number 4. We are in Washington DC, not Baltimore. The local team is the redskins and their colors are Burgundy and Gold. If someone were to wear black and purple, and say its because of the Ravens, then they would probably get some mean looks in DC and its "Burbs" considering thats like rubbing it in the face of local sport fans that we did not make the playoffs this year ( once again). So I politely implore you to rethink your choice of team and remember what city it is you are reporting for.
All the best

Posted by: sergolaya | January 17, 2009 4:49 AM | Report abuse

commenters broke the unfunny meter

Posted by: thewrittenword | January 17, 2009 4:52 AM | Report abuse

Yay Liz used some of my advice. I feel like I made a contribution to society now.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 17, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Excellent advice, ep. Sorry, Dorkus, but #3 isn't really all that useful (as if it were really going to happen).

My advice to celebs coming to DC? Spend lotsa money, and please tip generously all those hard-working locals who make your stay enjoyable.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 17, 2009 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Wow, I am dissapointed that you mentioned Scientology. Any mention of them unless it you are speaking about them in a neagtive manor is support for the cult of Scientology. You even provided a link right to their website. Why should the Washington Post want to advertise or support Scientology is ANY way?
SHAME!

Posted by: yummytunnel | January 17, 2009 2:37 PM | Report abuse

Okay, as a service to our non-regular readers, let me 'splain something about this column. The Ravens and Scientology comments were SARCASM. Liz knows the Redkins are (is?) the hometown team. The comment -- submitted by a Ravens fan -- was a JOKE. The Scientology comment was a swipe at Tom Cruise.

In other words, yo fatties, carm down.

Posted by: epjd | January 17, 2009 2:50 PM | Report abuse

In the interests of equal time, here's the link to the "Anonymous" group:
http://www.whyweprotest.net/en

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 17, 2009 3:19 PM | Report abuse

yummytunnel, it's pronounced SMAME!


And Nosy I also submitted the advice for Kanye.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 17, 2009 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus
And Nosy I also submitted the advice for Kanye.

I forgot that one was also yours. Good one!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 17, 2009 8:08 PM | Report abuse

epjd
If the comment on Scientology was to just "take a swipe" at Tom Cruise as you say...
Then why provide a link to Scientology's webiste? THAT IS WRONG.

Posted by: yummytunnel | January 18, 2009 8:18 PM | Report abuse

YummyTunnel, you are taking this column waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. So there is a link. You don't HAVE to click it if you don't want to.

Posted by: epjd | January 18, 2009 11:47 PM | Report abuse

I KNEW I should've checked over the weekend. Go "stand right, walk left!"

Posted by: eet7e | January 19, 2009 9:02 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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