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Posted at 7:38 AM ET, 01/28/2009

Morning Mix: Brangelina Debut Twins; Joaquin's Rap a Hoax?

By Liz Kelly

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie with kids Knox, Vivienne, Pax, Maddox, Zahara and Shiloh arrive in Tokyo on Tuesday. (Reuters)

Wednesday

Headlines: Brangelina debut twins Knox and Vivienne on trip to Japan... Matt Damon says lack of star treatment kept him away from Obama inauguration... K-Fed barbecues with Britney Spears... Jessica Alba insists she's not dumb... Benicio del Toro walks out of interview with Washington Times... Paul McCartney to appear on Wednesday's "Colbert Report"... Scarlett Johannson records song for "He's Just Not That Into You" soundtrack (listen)... Spice Girl Geri Haliwell engaged after only a month of dating... Tyler Perry's home and studio slapped with liens... John Updike dead at 76... Peter Falk's family battles over ailing star's care.

Crime Watch: Travolta extortion plot hinged on treatment document... Investigators believe Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend is alive and on the run from debt.

Rumor Mill: Joaquin Phoenix's rap career just a hoax?... Paris Hilton thinks Gordon Ramsay is British Prime Minister... Evan Rachel Wood and Mickey Rourke spotted snogging at SAG after party... David Beckham wants to move family to Italy.

By Liz Kelly  | January 28, 2009; 7:38 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Comments

Lack of star treatment, Matt? I believe Bijou Phillips might have some appropriate advice for you.


Joaquin Phoenix seems to have confused the words "hoax" and "hilarious misjudgment."


I don't believe for a second that Paris Hilton thinks Gordon Ramsay is British Prime Minister. For one thing, it means she'd have to know that the UK is a bicameral parliamentary democracy with an essentially powerless regal head of state.


Double standard: Evan Rachel Wood, WTF? and Mickey Rourke, way to go, dude!


David Beckham wants to move family to Italy (where the locals don't mock short men with high-pitched voices who love soccer?)

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 28, 2009 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Its official, Evan Rachel Wood has the worst taste in men in the history of humankind.

jelo wonders if John Updike was as misogynistic as the men in his novels. I don't care how great a writer he was considered to be, I hated that smug tone that ran rampant through his work.

Posted by: jelo | January 28, 2009 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Upon reflection, I wish to amend my reasoning for my statement that I don't believe for a second that Paris Hilton thinks Gordon Ramsay is British Prime Minister.

The real reason I don't believe for a second, etc., etc., is that it means that Paris Hilton would have to know that the UK is not part of the US.

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 28, 2009 9:13 AM | Report abuse

Who wrote today's Morning Mix? It's full of misleading headlines. The Matt Damon and Jessica Alba headlines are just bad. Wake up grumpy this morning? Take some bran or something.

Posted by: Pupster | January 28, 2009 9:17 AM | Report abuse

As always, byoolin, thanks for another fine analysis of Paris Hilton's thought processes.

Bottom line? byoo' knows that Paris doesn't and, in fact, can't possibly.

With Kudos and flourishes.

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 9:21 AM | Report abuse

Is Mickey Rourke a step up or a step down from Marilyn Manson? Or just some sort of weird lateral shimmy into a whole 'nother fetish?

Posted by: wadejg | January 28, 2009 9:22 AM | Report abuse

Oh forgot to mention that those Jolie-Pitt kids are a fine lookin' herd!

Posted by: wadejg | January 28, 2009 9:24 AM | Report abuse

The kid that Brad is holding looks kinda retarded.

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 28, 2009 9:33 AM | Report abuse

Lack of star treatment . . . that's my new official excuse for missing the Obama inauguration, too.

Posted by: 44west | January 28, 2009 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Pupster, you new here or something? Who did you google to get the celebritology link?

Jessica, don't bother with Bill O'Reilly. He's totally not worth it. Plus, you can't be that dumb. Dumb is the chick in my office who asked how Jesus could be a carpenter when there were no carpets back then? As in, she thinks a carpenter is someone who lays carpet. Seriously. I need a new job.

Posted by: eet7e | January 28, 2009 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Is it wrong that Jessica Alba (almost wrote Jessica Simpson there, scary) knowing that Sweden is also a neutral country makes a little hotter in my book?

And Jessica, try not to get too worked up over a guy who doesn't know a falafel from a loofah calling you dumb. (But I'll still give you a hug if you need it)

Matt Damon is starting to enter Oprah and Kanye territory.


That's sad to hear about Peter Faulk, maybe if his daughter gets the conservatorship she can read him The Princess Bride.


Amy Winehouse take note, when Paris Hilton is saying she couldn't keep up with your lifestyle, that might be saying something.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 9:40 AM | Report abuse

I get this strange feeling that Jessica Alba really did mean to say Switzerland, then went home and researched and thought, "Thank God, I really WAS right!"

Posted by: Osteph | January 28, 2009 10:04 AM | Report abuse

Pupster is absolutely right re misleading headlines about Matt Damon and Jessica Alba!

DAMON: http://www.usmagazine.com/news/matt-damon-why-i-skipped-obamas-inauguration

Matt Damon campaigned aggressively for Barack Obama last year. So why wasn't he in Washington D.C. last week for the historic inauguration? "[My wife] Luciana and I decided we wanted to go," he tells the Miami Herald. "But when I called my contacts from the campaign, they just started laughing: 'We worked on the campaign for 2 1/2 years, and we're not going. Forget it.' "But then they called me back the next day and said, 'Hey, we've got two tickets for you, in the bleachers, and you'll actually be able to see Obama take the oath. Just $25,000 apiece.'" It was then that Damon (who lives with his wife and three daughters in Miami Beach) knew, "I'm going to watch. From my couch"...

(Hey Matt, I watched from my couch, too: best seat in the house!)


ALBA: http://www.usmagazine.com/news/jessica-alba-lashes-out-bill-oreilly-insinuating-shes-dumb

Jessica Alba has taken to her Celebrity MySpace blog to defend herself over accusations made by Bill O'Reilly and TMZ.com that she is dumb. When a reporter approached her at an inauguration event last week, she tried to turn the tables on him by asking him what Barack Obama's greatest characteristic was. When the reporter said he felt uncomfortable answering because he is a journalist, Alba replied, "be neutral - be Sweden about it." TMZ.com later called her a "ditz" and an "arrogant buffoon" for saying Sweden instead of Switzerland when referring to the neutral country during WWII...

(Hey, TMZ.com: Sweden was ALSO neutral during WW II. So who's the "ditz" and an "arrogant buffoon" now?)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:05 AM | Report abuse

I get this strange feeling that Jessica Alba really did mean to say Switzerland, then went home and researched and thought, "Thank God, I really WAS right!"

Posted by: Osteph | January 28, 2009 10:04 AM

*******************************************

Shhh.....let me have the moment.....

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 10:05 AM | Report abuse

jelo, you raise an astute point re Updike. I don't know whether he was actually misogynistic (especially in his Rabbit tetralogy), or merely reflecting the attitudes of an era ('50s, early '60s). Supposedly "The Witches of Eastwick" was his make-good novel.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Despite my distaste for his work Nosy, I can never look at a jar of herring snacks w/o thinking of the man. How's that for a mental curse? (Updike's short story A&P, if the reference is too vague.)

Posted by: jelo | January 28, 2009 10:19 AM | Report abuse

I'll happily give Jessica Alba the benefit of the doubt and not assume that she had good fortune in covering a mistake.
But the Matt Damon headline is totally misleading. I'm sure his point was everybody and his brother went to the inauguration and there was no room for him.

Posted by: otherliz | January 28, 2009 10:21 AM | Report abuse

News about John Travolta AND Olivia Newton-John? I've got chills! They're multiplying!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 28, 2009 10:24 AM | Report abuse

From late yesterday on the Morning Mix:

sorcerers_cat
Not a celebrity story, but LA news today is obsessed with this birth of octuplets at Kaiser. It took 46 medical professionals to deliver what they thought would be seven and turned out to be eight babies--what do you think THAT costs?

It creeps me out. I'm all for the miracle of birth and all that, but human beings aren't supposed to have litters.

(I then commented that such public fascination goes back at least as far as the naturally-occurring Dionne quints in Québec in the 1930s)

ep
"practically put them on display." No, quite literally put them on display. It was not the parents however. The Canadian government took the girls away from the parents deeming them "unfit" and gave them their own big home across the road. The girls were then displayed for visitors for YEARS. Plus, endlessly studied by so-called doctors. One experiment involved them having to taste different colored papers to see if they tasted different. The girls spit them out.

The parents did not regain custody until the girls were teenagers (maybe pre-teen). Then it was still a mess. They were blamed for all the family troubles, etc. All those girls ever wanted was privacy. The surviving three had to sue the Canadian government to see even some of the money they earned for the state when they were too old to support themselves. It's a very sad story.


Any thoughts, byoolin, as our resident Maple Leaf?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Jelo and Nosy,

I agree about John Updike and his misogynistic protagonists. Read a couple of his books and then never went back, but I must thank him for introducing me to the concept of the Barcalounger. What a great word! What a great concept!

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | January 28, 2009 10:25 AM | Report abuse

otherliz, I also suspect that although he could well afford it, Matt Damon resented the $25K shakedown attempt.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Matt Damon, get over yourself, now. Not cool.

Did Kfed remember to bring the Pork Rinds? You know how Britney gets....

Sweeden, Switzerland, ....whatevah! Jessica we're with you. Bill O'Reily is an a-hole. But sweetie, you're not cut out for the debate team.

Article didn't say, what had Benicio Toro so steamed?

Arrevederci, Beckhams!

Evan Rachel Woods snogging with Mickey Rourke. Eeeeeeew! That is just SO wrong. Please pass the brain bleach, stat.


Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

News about John Travolta AND Olivia Newton-John? I've got chills! They're multiplying!

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 28, 2009 10:24 AM

*******************************************

td, I will get you back for getting that stuck in my head.

Well, at least you didn't say 'News about John Travolta AND Olivia Newton-John? Tell me more, tell me more.'

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

I had a co-worker at a newspaper who once asked: "What does AP stand for?"

Another co-worker, same place: "What time was it today at noon?"

In each case, everybody snickered, but nobody answered, and they both still didn't get it.

On the Matt Damon headline: I dunno. After rereading it, I guess Damon's OK, but on the first read, my thought was, "Who knew Matt Damon was such a prick?" Story's not very well-written.

Posted by: memphis1 | January 28, 2009 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Investigators believe Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend is alive and on the run from debt.

This is hardly news. At least a year ago NBC Dateline devoted an entire hour to this story, including multiple sightings of Patrick McDermott in Cabo. (I recall Keith Morrison as anchor; he's turned into such a caricature that I totally enjoyed SNL's long-overdue parody this fall of his creepy, smarmy, leering style).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Herring snacks??? I'm sorry, jelo, if you really like them, but between that and the Mickey Rourke/Evan Wood story, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Nosy, any odds on whether the Kaiser hosp. octuplets will have their own TLC show?

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 10:36 AM | Report abuse

In 1984, I started a new job and got to listen to a highly paid woman ask "what's a Gipper?" following a news story about Ronald Reagan.

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | January 28, 2009 10:36 AM | Report abuse

Travolta extortion plot hinged on treatment document.

"Sources connected with the investigation tell us John Travolta told EMT workers he wanted to fly his son to Florida rather than drive by ambulance to the hospital....which was 45 minutes away. There was a disagreement over which course would be better. John felt initially it might take the same amount of time to get his son to Florida where he might get better care. The document at issue would have released emergency services from any liability if Travolta elected the Florida route."

The payday wouldn't have been as big, but it would've been far safer just to have auctioned off the material to the highest bidder among the tabloids?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:39 AM | Report abuse

Good one, Dr. hodie! BTW, did you see this article in Slate yesterday?
"Womb for More: How many babies can fit inside one woman?"
http://www.slate.com/id/2209887

"In general, once the total weight of the babies inside reaches about 12 pounds, the uterus goes into labor. The greater the number of fetuses, the earlier the labor will occur."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:43 AM | Report abuse

Eight is Enough

Why the big mystery about the parents? Do the parents have any other kids? Are the parents Americans? Are the parents married? Who is paying for all of this?

Something is rotten in Denmark.

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 28, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Nosy - I don't get what the big deal is about the Travolta document is. I mean, they were trying to figure out what would be better - ambulance 45 minutes or flying to FL in what he thought would be the same amount of time and waiving liablity if he chose option #2. I guess I just don't understand why anyone would pay $2 for this information.

Posted by: suzannepdc | January 28, 2009 10:47 AM | Report abuse

suzannepdc
I guess I just don't understand why anyone would pay $2 for this information.

Me neither. Maybe it's because those $cientologists are a bunch of control-freaks.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 10:49 AM | Report abuse

I bet Matt Damon's comments were all in fun. (Still recall his dead-on impression of Matthew McConaughey on Letterman; hilarious.)

And sorry, Dorkus, about the "Grease" song. (But c'mon, buddy. Have you never been mellow? Have you never tried?)

I could've said that Olivia's was not the first heart broken, her eyes were not the first to cry. Too bad the boyfriend's name is Patrick, not Sam, Sam. Then everyone would know where he am, er, is.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 28, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

I guess Olivia Newton John's ex boyfriend didn't get very far.

Posted by: StuckatWork | January 28, 2009 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, hodie, I bet John & Kate are spitting chiclets about now. It's bad enough that they were on WaPo's OUT list and the Duggars were IN for 2009. Now someone else had octuplets. Bummer.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 28, 2009 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Ok, I'll play!

I'm sure once the authorities got close, Patrick was out of there like greased lightning! (ba dum bum!)

Oh, td, dorkus, I honestly love you.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 10:59 AM | Report abuse

Aw, hodie. You are automatic, systematic, and hydromatic. Would a little more love make you stop pretending? Would a little more love make a happy ending? Now were are here in Xanadu. Let's get physical.

OK, I'll stop now. Didn't realize I was such an ONJ fan -- guess it's because she and I share the same birthday (she is much older).

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 28, 2009 11:10 AM | Report abuse

td, I'm am sure next you would say " I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable"

I'll stop now too.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Well, I never thought of Jessica Alba as the brightest crayon in the box, but given that it is now a war between Jessica and Bill O'Reilly, I feel compelled to take Jessica's side. As Dorkus said, it's hard to take falafel/loofah man seriously when he questions someone's intelligence.

For similar ideological reasons, Benicio Del Toro walking out on the Washington Times makes him seem that much cooler in my book. Just sayin'.

Also, that's the second time I've heard about a purported hookup between Evan Rachel Wood and Mickey Rourke. As such, I assume the rumor is true. Gross. Just gross. Someone get that girl a therapist, stat. She obviously has major daddy issues.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | January 28, 2009 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, your words, "It's a very sad story" say just about all that needs to be said about the Canadian government's treatment of the Dionnes. They rolled over the parents, who didn't have a chance, and treated the kids like circus freaks.

BTW, the family home is now set up as a museum on the outskirts of my hometown. (Even though it's a five minute drive from where I lived for half my life, I've never been inside.)

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 28, 2009 12:05 PM | Report abuse

Matt Damon's comments did not come across at all like wanting "star" treatment.
I think that every intelligent person in the world would have responded to a request to purchase a $25,000 bleacher seat with thanks but no thanks.
Noting egotistical or star trement(ish) about his comments at all.

Posted by: Iowahoosier | January 28, 2009 12:09 PM | Report abuse

-I like Zahara's jacket and matching hat.

-Pax looks much sharper than his dad.

-Shiloh is simply embarrssed by her father's moustache

Posted by: lisjaka2 | January 28, 2009 12:10 PM | Report abuse

I always liked Matt Damon, but after his quote about James Bond, I'm going to boycott his movies. "Repulsive" ??? For bedding women and swilling Martinis? Gimme a freakin break Matt.

Yeah, Go Mickey! Wonder whose hands were in whose pants?

Sweden was neutral too! Jessica Alba is brilliant. But who really cares. And speaking of hot, who cares if ScarJo can sing or not. Just be, girl.

Wonder if Boy George is in a relationship yet?

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 12:12 PM | Report abuse

byoolin:

and isn't the story even sadder b/c it seems that the Canadian government treated the Dionnes so badly b/c of their poverty as well as prejudice against French, Catholic Canadians?

Posted by: Amelia5 | January 28, 2009 12:14 PM | Report abuse

byoolin, it was ep who commented that "It's a very sad story," though I agree with her wholeheartedly.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 12:14 PM | Report abuse

rashibama, Patrick McGoohan's obit pointed out that he rejected the martini/woman-bedding Bond formula (wouldn't even kiss a woman on-screen, out of fidelity to his wife), which is what inspired him to create the character John Drake on "Danger Man" ("Secret Agent" in the US).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 12:18 PM | Report abuse

Well, James Bond never pretended to be a moral compass. He was a secret agent with a job to do who liked women and good vodka. You know, I never saw him drunk, and he treated his women nicely. Everybody seemed happy. Yes, there's room in the world for Danger Men, God love'em but sometimes you need a Bond. And a Holly Goodhead.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse

Amen, rashibama. I wholeheartedly agree. Wouldn't mind being " morally-offended" by the current or the last James Bond. LOL

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 12:52 PM | Report abuse

I can't believe that Posh doesn't want to move to Milan, the fashion capital of the world. They even have a son named Romeo. Verona is not far from Milan. I think it's destiny. Ciao! Beckhams.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

God love'em but sometimes you need a Bond. And a Holly Goodhead.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 12:47 PM

*******************************************

Or a Pussy Galore...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 1:02 PM | Report abuse

So, is Joaquin Phoenix a total looney or what?

Gotta love them little Jolie-Pitt sprouts, eh?

Yours truly,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 1:09 PM | Report abuse

BTW, has anyone noticed that Bob Woodward looks suspiciously like Bill Kristol's older, estranged brother?

Just sayin',

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Mudge is onto something...

Posted by: memphis1 | January 28, 2009 1:27 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, I'm with you--the Jolie-Pitt clan is too adorable for words. Maddox is so handsome. Zahara gets prettier every time I see her. And it does look like little Vivienne will be the double of Shiloh.

I'm going to side with the pro-Matt Damon camp -- I didn't find anything in that article very offensive. I'd resent a 25k per bleacher seat shakedown too.

ERW and Mickey Rourke, can I please have a dose of the brain bleach when you're done?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 28, 2009 1:41 PM | Report abuse

Mudge
BTW, has anyone noticed that Bob Woodward looks suspiciously like Bill Kristol's older, estranged brother?

Raising the question of whom Carl Bernstein resembles nowadays?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 1:43 PM | Report abuse

I believe Evan Rachel Wood may be using the Anna Nicole Smith method of perpetuating hotness - mack on the oldest dude nearby and you'll always look comparatively young.

Still gross, though.

Posted by: Roxie1 | January 28, 2009 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Raising the question of whom Carl Bernstein resembles nowadays?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 1:43 PM


Nosy -

Oh! Nooooooooo!

Carl Bernstein looks like (gulp) Phil Spector only with his own hair.

Nervously yours,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Why does the picture at the top of today's Morning Mix blog remind me of an episode of The Little Rascals?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:20 PM | Report abuse

Sas,

It's those cute little Depression-era poor-guy hats Brad and the kid are wearing.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 2:23 PM | Report abuse

Carl Berstein looks a lot more like Dustin Hoffman these days than Bob Woodward resembles Robert Redford. I wonder what that means?
Also: check out Gofugyourself today...there is a great pic of Lisa Rinna with no underpants.

Posted by: possum_pouch | January 28, 2009 2:29 PM | Report abuse

Gee, I can't even refer to Bill O'Reilly with a common misspelling of of a 7-letter word that begins with "a", ends in "e" and has a double "s" and "hol" in the middle. I guess that double "$" is in the dirty word dictionary. I suppose I'll have to be prim and proper and describe Mister O'Reilly as an anus encrusted with fecal matter.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:31 PM | Report abuse


Sas,

It's those cute little Depression-era poor-guy hats Brad and the kid are wearing.

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 2:23 PM

----------------------------------------------

All they're missing is Petey the pit bull. They already have Spanky and Buckwheat.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:34 PM | Report abuse

All they're missing is Petey the pit bull. They already have Spanky and Buckwheat.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:34 PM

*******************************************

Is Angelina Spanky?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 2:37 PM | Report abuse

O tay!

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 2:37 PM | Report abuse

O tay! No Knox or Brad is Spanky. I think Angelina is Petey. Of course little Shiloh is Darla, just needs the banana curls.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 2:41 PM | Report abuse

I think the Paris Hilton item has been taken out of context. I was reading the account in the Independent and she was speaking of her image as an airhead and she responded that she knew that Gordon B. was the PM and that Gordon R. was a restaurantuer.

Posted by: ronjaboy | January 28, 2009 2:43 PM | Report abuse

Is Angelina Spanky?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 2:37 PM


ooooooo, yes.

Whenever she's naughty.

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Is Angelina Spanky?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 28, 2009 2:37 PM


ooooooo, yes.

Whenever she's naughty.

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 2:44 PM

sploot! I am so glad I am by myself in my office as everyone else wimped out due to a little snow and ice.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 2:52 PM | Report abuse

Possum, Dustin's aged a lot more gracefully than Carl has, despite being several years older. Thank goodness Woodward doesn't seem to have gotten his eyelids surgically lifted (whoever told Redford he'd look better afterwards ought to be sued for malpractice).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Dr. Hodie, in what region of the country are you? For whatever reason, I have been under the impression that you and Mr. Hodie are in the Midwest or the Sun Belt.

-------------------------------------------
Can anyone else imagine Brad Pitt saying, "Angelina, you've been a very naughty girl. I'm going to have to turn you over my knee and spank you."?

Carm down.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:56 PM | Report abuse

Carl Bernstein:

http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/intel/08/01/17_bernstein_lgl.jpg

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:58 PM | Report abuse

Why does the picture at the top of today's Morning Mix blog remind me of an episode of The Little Rascals?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:20 PM

***
I just blew coffee out of my nose on that one.

What was the song Alphalfa sang in that one episode -- wasn't it "I'm in the Mood for Love" ??

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Can anyone else imagine Brad Pitt saying, "Angelina, you've been a very naughty girl. I'm going to have to turn you over my knee and spank you."?

Carm down.


Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 2:56 PM


um.

yeah.

Brad is a playful sorta guy (if Angelina says it's ok).

Respectfully,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 3:01 PM | Report abuse

Thanks, Sas
http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/intel/08/01/17_bernstein_lgl.jpg

The years have been unkind to Carl's looks, although he's still one helluva writer.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 3:05 PM | Report abuse

Sas, Yep, midwest. Cincinnati area.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 3:08 PM | Report abuse

O tay! The explains the snow comment. One of my friends sent me some jpgs earlier today, shot out the windows of his condo near Dayton. You folks have a nicer snowfall that here in DC.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 3:11 PM | Report abuse

We had 4-6 inches of snow with a coating of 1/2-1inch of ice, then 4-6 more inches. We are close enough to the Mason-Dixon line that people here go beserko when they see or even hear about snow and ice. I'm from the snow belt so I'm quite used to it. Our weatherman was actually so excited he was actually hyperventilating.

Posted by: hodie | January 28, 2009 3:15 PM | Report abuse

In honor of today's snowfall, a famous celebrity quote on the topic.

Mae West
"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 3:17 PM | Report abuse

Songs from Grease plus Mae West -- what a wonderful day on Celebritology.

I don't know if Olivia Newton John's ex-boyfriend is alive or dead, but I do know that Mr. King and his website and the whole Dateline involvement creeps me out. Let the man run, who cares. If the government wanted him that badly, presumably the FBI would be after him. Meanwhile, what's he done to you, Dateline, that you've got to stick your big fat nose in his business? I don't know, I like a good "fake my death, go on the lam in a warm climate" story and I'm totally rooting for Patrick whats-his-name on this one.

Posted by: 7900rmc | January 28, 2009 3:44 PM | Report abuse

I know it's been noted already but these two thoughts bear repeating:

WTF is wrong with Evan Rachel Wood?

and

Those (the Jolie Pitts) are the cutest friggin' kids!

Posted by: spartan123 | January 28, 2009 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Hey, what's with those fat ads about losing belly fat by obeying a rule?

It seems as if every stay-at-home-mom has her own web site and is pushing this strange program (or whatever).

What's the deal?

Wonderingly,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Curmudgeon -- there's gold in them thar fat cells.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 4:12 PM | Report abuse

rashibama
there's gold in them thar fat cells

Didn't we read recently of some cosmetic surgeon in Southern California fuel his car with fat from liposuction patients?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:15 PM | Report abuse

who fueled

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:16 PM | Report abuse


What would really be cool is to have a race between a car fueled by fat from liposuction patients and one fueled by grease from French fry fryers ...

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 4:23 PM | Report abuse

What would really be cool is to have a race between a car fueled by fat from liposuction patients and one fueled by grease from French fry fryers ...

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 4:23 PM

--------------------------------------------
I look forward to seeing Billy Mays hawk a fat-burning vhicle on late night cable.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 28, 2009 4:27 PM | Report abuse

rashibama
a car... fueled by grease from French fry fryers

Isn't that what Willie Nelson drives?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Nosy:
a car... fueled by grease from French fry fryers: Isn't that what Willie Nelson drives?

Yeah, and the combustion comes when he lights the bong.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 4:33 PM | Report abuse

I had often thought about selling my fat (in partnership with a fat-sucker doctor) to plastic surgeons who plump-up starlets lips. (How could you go wrong with a Grade AAA fat infusion - and it's a renewable resource).

Now, this fat-burning vehicle opens all sorts of new oppoprtunities for those of us who are sometimes butt-challenged.

Perhaps Elias_Howe has a workable plan . . .

Stand by, Billy Mays.

Hopefully,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Mudge
Now, this fat-burning vehicle opens all sorts of new opportunities

Why, it would become our patriotic duty to re-grow fat after each batch is suctioned out, as a renewable "green" source of energy.

Please pass the brownies!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

Nosy,

We are on the same page.

The world will come to honor us for our selfless snacking. We and our renewable resources will become the Middle East of the new world . . .

And, you saw it first . . . here.

Patriotically yours in energy, chocolate covered cherries, and cheez curls,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Mudge, this is one Patriot Act we can all get behind, so to speak.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:52 PM | Report abuse

hahahahahahaha

Energy independence is just a bag of chips away.

It transforms the Lizard cry, "Yo fatty carm down", into a whole new call to action.

Exxon Mobil, step aside . . .

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 4:57 PM | Report abuse

"Yo fatty carm down" => "Yo fatty chow down"

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Conscientious objectors who wish to remain or become slim can perform alternate governmental service by having the energy they exert on exercise bikes, elliptical trainers, treadmills etc. collected and transmitted to power substations.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:03 PM | Report abuse

There you go . . .

Lizard Island will open and operate the "Centre for the Development of Natural and Renewable Energy Resources International, LLP". (We know it as the Tiki Bar.)

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Wait til I tell Mrs. Rashibama that my plan to re-lose "those 20 pounds" is going to be a part of realizing our national obsession for energy independence.

"the Middle East of the new world . . ."
Curmudgeon, you should trademark that.
We could do t-shirts with a print of a pleasantly plump person sitting in lounge chair drinking beer and eating brownies and cheez curls.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

rashibama
We could do t-shirts with a print of a pleasantly plump person sitting in lounge chair drinking beer and eating brownies and cheez curls.

Super Bowl Sunday could become a national holiday!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:11 PM | Report abuse

Hey, Gang, I think we're on to something.

Something Big. (ooops, sorry)

We have to get epjd to draw up important sounding papers to protect our idea from avaricious predators and the like.

Dr hodie can develop a healthy weight-gain regimine. Conversely, Elian_Howe can figure out how to turn our treadmills into money making machines - er, um, I mean clean energy generators.

Sas, you can draw up a list of preferred foods for the resource producers.

Dorkus, you can help us get DoD contracts for helicopter fuel.

This ought to be fun!!

or not

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 5:19 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat and I can cast stars to appear in Public Service Announcements.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:25 PM | Report abuse

Stop the presses! The Jolie-Pitt kids are actually WALKING!!!!

If the Becks move to Italy, will we never see them again? Please please ...

Good call, Geri Halliwell. Always a smart move to confuse lust and love.

Dang, Evan Rachel Wood has bad taste in men.

I always suspected Olivia N-J's boyfriend faked his death. The whole thing never rang true.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 28, 2009 5:26 PM | Report abuse

The Pastafarians can provide food for the underweight.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Back to this morning's headlines: David Beckham wants to move family to Italy.

Maybe Becks took David Černý's depiction of Italy (in his sculpture for the UE HQ, "Entropa") too literally.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:33 PM | Report abuse

EU, not UE. Doctor, bring the pasta, stat!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:35 PM | Report abuse

We probably need to be proactive in licensing related issues.

I'm envisioning an annual, Vernal Equinox holiday French Fry-fueled vs Natural Renewable Energy Source-fueled car race.

NASCAR, EAT OUR DUST.

And may the best fuel win.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahaha,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 5:35 PM | Report abuse

We could invite Mickey and Evan Rachel over and watch them make out in between the commercials.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 5:36 PM | Report abuse

Would our vehicles be Stocky Cars?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:39 PM | Report abuse

Another holiday could be Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:42 PM | Report abuse

Would our vehicles be Stocky Cars? -- Nosy

Yes, yes. Maybe Morning Mix would sponsor a car. We could put Liz's picture on the hood. ScarJo could start our engines, please.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 5:43 PM | Report abuse

rashibama
ScarJo could start our engines, please.

Whoa, I fear our young Dorkus has just been overcome by a dire case of the vapors.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:49 PM | Report abuse

You know, the scary thing is - what if this would really work?

VTY,

Curmudgeon

PS: We'd all be rich beyond our wildest dreams. Snack manufacturers would be at our feet hoping for endorsements . . .

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 28, 2009 5:50 PM | Report abuse

Jonathan Swift would be proud of our "Modest Proposal."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 28, 2009 5:53 PM | Report abuse

Just another exhausting but creative and entertaining day on Lizard Island.

Posted by: rashibama | January 28, 2009 6:05 PM | Report abuse

"We could invite Mickey and Evan Rachel over and watch them make out in between the commercials."

Don't forget the barf bags. I will need many.

Posted by: Californian11 | January 28, 2009 6:11 PM | Report abuse

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