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Posted at 7:49 AM ET, 01/20/2009

Morning Mix: Kelly Osbourne Arrested for Assault

By Liz Kelly
Tuesday

Headlines: Ben Affleck says he would camp out for inauguration spot... Tom Cruise says he always wanted to kill Hitler... Jennifer Hudson to perform at Grammys... Jennifer Aniston's dog rescued by paparazzo.

Pix: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now Obama fans... Paris Hilton dons freaky floor-length wig for photo shoot.

Crime Watch: Kelly Osbourne arrested for slapping gossip columnist... Boy George signs autographs for fellow inmates.

Rumor Mill: Britney Spears set to sign $14 million book deal?... Does another Paris Hilton sex tape exist?..."SNL's" Fred Armisen dating "Mad Men's" Elisabeth Moss?... Uma Thurman follows-up in-flight yoga routine with a cigarette.

D.C. has gone Hollywood: For non-stop inaugural party coverage go to Party Central.

By Liz Kelly  | January 20, 2009; 7:49 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   Del.icio.us   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Chatting Up Tim Robbins at the Creative Coalition Dinner
Next: Twittering the Creative Coalition Ball

Comments

Hmmm. Yogart followed by a cig? Must make it easier to digest cancer that way!

Posted by: elias_howe | January 20, 2009 10:06 AM | Report abuse

Ohh, it was yoga, not yogart!! Well, nevermind!

Posted by: elias_howe | January 20, 2009 10:08 AM | Report abuse

Tom Cruise says he always wanted to kill Hitler.

Nosy (yesterday)
Um, Wee Tom, are you a whole lot older than you claim? Or did you experience this in a previous life? You know that Hitler died in 1945, don't you?


epjd (yesterday)
I can't figure out if Tom's desire to kill Hitler shows a stunning ignorance of history (the guy didn't graduate high school after all) or is all part of his belief that only Scientologists can fix things. See, if Germany had just been more open to Scientology, there would have been no Holocaust.

Yes, I know Scientology came along long after the Holocaust. But, if they had been more open, L. Ron Hubbard would have invented his religion sooner and saved millions of lives.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 10:13 AM | Report abuse

L. Ron Hubbard would have invented his religion sooner and saved millions of lives.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 10:13 AM

*******************************************

Only if they could have afforded to pay the fees.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Wow, Ben Affleck seems pretty grounded. Others should take note.

OK, the Paris-in-a-wig shot is bizarre. Christina Aguilera meets Cousin It.

A little late on the Hitler news, no?

Poor Jennifer Hudson. I hope the media will stop referring to the family tragedy every time they mention her name. I fear the Grammy announcer will even mention it before she takes the stage. Let's hope not.

FREE BOY GEORGE! (OK, not quite as catchy as, say, SAVE FERRIS, but I just feel bad for him.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 10:16 AM | Report abuse

Kelly Osborne best not try that gossip columnist slappin' in the US. That's a hangin' offense.

Posted by: pras40 | January 20, 2009 10:25 AM | Report abuse

Good one, Dorkus!

Also, good one, pras40 (methinks, methinks)!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 10:27 AM | Report abuse

I had a nightmare last night where I was being drafted into Scientology. The meeting ended when they found out my credit cards were maxed out and I had $200 in my bank account. I guess being a tad fiscally irresponsible has its perks.

Ben Affleck, you can come camp out with me, in my office in Ballston. Not that I'm bitter that I have to work today or anything, at least I didn't have to go into the DC office...which is open today.

Paris seems to be channeling a little bit of Dolly Parton in that picture...face-wise.

I'm losing brain cells just thinking about a potential Britney book deal.

Posted by: eet7e | January 20, 2009 10:29 AM | Report abuse

As if we needed more evidence that Heincer is really just a big attention-seeking, opportunistic, mush-brained, waste of oxygen.


Yeah I can't work up any sympathy for Boy George. You can't just chain up a guy in your closet like that.


Of course then I see on the side of the Daily Mail that they've outed the Stig! Next thing you know they'll tell me the tooth fairy isn't real.


Do we really need another crappy Paris Hilton video?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 10:30 AM | Report abuse

That Party Central interactive map of Inauguration Parties is great -- nicely designed and easy to understand.

(Though I'm not sure I am a richer person for knowing that Carrie Fisher is attending the "Obama Pajama Party." Hmm.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Now that Boy George has been convicted I have to scrap months of plans for my boyfriend George Clooney. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Ugh, just saw Spike Lee wearing a Yankees cap w/ear flaps.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

I just did not believe the Daily Mail but now the Times (of London) confirms it. I can hear Jeremy screaming from over the pond. How will Top Gear get rid of the White Stig? I mean, how do you top shooting someone off the end of an aircraft carrier in an old beat up Jag?

Soon I will not even believe in Eli Whitney!


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/article5548705.ece

Posted by: elias_howe | January 20, 2009 10:48 AM | Report abuse

Elias, could I suggest rocket car out of a B-52?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

News would be there is NOT another Paris Hilton sex tape out there.

Kelli, stay away from our Queen Liz.

Does Heincer even know there are elections and things -- let alone who Obama is?

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 11:01 AM | Report abuse

jes
Ugh, just saw Spike Lee wearing a Yankees cap w/ear flaps.

Which part bothers you, that he's wearing headgear, or that it's a baseball cap (instead of, say, a fedora), or that it's of the Yankees, or is it the ear flaps?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 11:10 AM | Report abuse

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard on his deathbed told his son
"You know how to get rich... start a religion." admitting that Scientology is nothing but a fictionally created story.
Scientology is nothing but a corporation that thrives off the ignorance of it's followers by selling them and whoever else books, and courses on how to "improve" themselves spiritually.
One of their expensive scams is that they will sell you for extremely large
amounts of money a series of books that in the end are supposed to teach you how to walk through walls.... and after spending long hours of self deceptive meditation, a lot of money, and reading you become brainwashed to believe that you can actually walk through walls and when you try to and end up bumping your nose against the wall you are told that you couldn't do it because you're not ready yet however there are more books and courses available that will someday make it possible for you to do so for larger amounts of money butt not really.
Scientology = manipulative corporate scam brainwashing moneybaggers club
Scientologist = manipulated misguided fool

I know someone who got sucked into that Scientology I didn't know he was a Scientologist until one day, about 4 years ago, he said "Rob here's a book you should read." He passed me Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard. I laughed and said "L. Con Flubbfart ha forget it." For the first time in the years since I've known the guy he displayed anger and I'm talking very angry!!! Verbally with an agressive face.
After that display he went on to talk about the ability to walk through walls, he hasn't reached that level but he plans on getting there etc...

Posted by: roblindblad | January 20, 2009 12:22 PM | Report abuse

So maybe after Wee Tom achieves a high enough level he will be able to go back in time and kill Hitler.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Ugh, just saw Spike Lee wearing a Yankees cap w/ear flaps.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 10:40 AM

---------------------------------------
Because nothing reflects the gravity and importance of this historic American day in history like a Yankees cap w/ear flaps.

Could it have killed you to dress a little smartly Spike?

Posted by: jelo | January 20, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

That is what amazes me about Scientologist, they get so mad when you question their religion. Not righteously indignant, but out and out insanely angry. Probably because they know you are right but hate to admit it after spending all that money.

Harking back to our discussion yesterday of the National Anthem, the choir (Navy?) did an excellent job today. Fast paced and hit the high notes then moved on.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 12:47 PM | Report abuse

ep, they were the Navy Sea Chanters. And I agree they gave an exemplary performace of the anthem. Perhaps Dorkus can critique the singing of the basses in the group (I'm such a sucker for a good bass line).


ep
Probably because they know you are right but hate to admit it after spending all that money.

Comment of the week?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse

Yes ep, I agree the Navy Sea Chanty Singers did a very good job (though I'm sure the Army would've done it better). I do kind of wish they could've sung a few sea chanties as well though. Just to liven things up.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 12:55 PM | Report abuse

"Harking back to our discussion yesterday of the National Anthem, the choir (Navy?) did an excellent job today. Fast paced and hit the high notes then moved on." --epjd

Compare that with Aretha's Franklin's "My coun--" (breath) "--try" (breath) "tis of thee." Awful. (Nice hat, though. And she didn't wear the Clinton-inauguration fur.) Surely with all the singers in DC right now, someone else could've stepped in and made better sense of the song.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, the bass part was performed well with a strong timber. The basses were able to solidly complete the chord and provide a good foundation for the tone of the song.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 1:07 PM | Report abuse

Which part bothers you, that he's wearing headgear, or that it's a baseball cap (instead of, say, a fedora), or that it's of the Yankees, or is it the ear flaps?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 11:10 AM

Take your pick although the fact that it's a Yankees cap makes everything else about it so much worse.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 1:13 PM | Report abuse

Oh I know. When they announced Aretha, I was "all right, now we are going to hear some SINGING." Ick. She just sounded worn out. So sad. The Queen of Soul sounded more like the Queen Mother.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 1:15 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, poor Aretha. On the other hand, it's something like 25 degrees out, right? It's got to be hard to sing when your throat is freezing every time you breathe.

Can I just say I love those little girls? And how exciting it is to have young children in the White House? And a total rock star genius for a president?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 20, 2009 1:35 PM | Report abuse

I liked Aretha's hat, liked the subdued gray ensemble, and didn't think her rendition was over the top until "freedom" was encouraged to ring...over...and over...and over...
I loved the poem, though I wish the poet had read it a little less deliberately. My son said she sounded like a Speak'n'Say.
Can (pause) you (pause) say (pause) cat? (pause) Cat.
All in all, a lovely celebration. Loved Mrs. O's dress & coat.

Posted by: pras40 | January 20, 2009 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Am I the only one who thinks Cheney looked like Mr. Potter from 'It's a Wonderful Life'? Which I guess means, in the vast scheme of things he's nothing more than a scurvy little spider.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 1:48 PM | Report abuse

It would have been nice if they had played it in a key that was within Aretha's range. I think that was Marian Anderson's key...

Posted by: libwy | January 20, 2009 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Does Britney know enough words to write a whole book? Or is she getting $14M for a short story?

Posted by: ChaoticCracker | January 20, 2009 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone notice that the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court flubbed the Presidential Oath of Office?

Posted by: ChaoticCracker | January 20, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

Wee Tom gets more delusional daily.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 1:55 PM | Report abuse

C.C., every talk radio host is talking about the flub of the oath--For the life of me I can't imagine why he tried to do it from memory instead of reading it off a card to make sure he got it just so. It's a shame, it wrecked Obama's sound bite.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 20, 2009 2:06 PM | Report abuse

FREE BOY GEORGE!
Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 10:16 AM

We need T-shirts, Facebook groups, maybe even a concert fundraiser. But mainly we need details from the pokey. Daily. This is going to be too good.

Posted by: rashibama | January 20, 2009 2:06 PM | Report abuse

"Am I the only one who thinks Cheney looked like Mr. Potter from 'It's a Wonderful Life'?"

A certain celebritologist said the same thing on her twitter feed.

I didn't see the inauguration, but I can imagine Aretha's performance wasn't up to her once great presence after her poor showing on Dancing with the Stars. So sad.

Posted by: eet7e | January 20, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

pras40 (methinks)
I wish the poet had read it a little less deliberately.

In all fairness, I imagine she had to combat a strong reverb, so wanted her words to be undersood clearly by the audience present (rather than pandering to us wimpy TV viewers in our indoor warmth and comfort).


I'm inclined to think that for an elderly person (Aretha) singing a solo, the cold air took a bit of a toll on her respiratory system. Could Dr. hodie comment on this situation? Like pras40 (methinks), I loved Aretha's hat. (But why-oh-why couldn't Spike have manned up and worn a fedora?)


Thanks for the expert critique of the bass-line, Dorkus.


Already received congratulatory emails from several European friends, who were able to watch the ceremonies on TV or the Internet. As one commented in English, "Good luck America, good luck planet."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

sorcerer's cat
It's a shame, it wrecked Obama's sound bite.

Maybe Roberts' Freudian slip was showing. Or he's a bit passive-aggressive?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Am off to whip up a batch of "Michelle Obama's Shortbread Cookies" (don't know whether she actually makes them, or just likes to eat them):
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99540954 (near bottom of page)

I believe firmly in performing my patriotic duty by making this caloric sacrifice.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

Linda Wertheimer just reported on NPR that for lunch today the Canadian Embassy is serving beaver-tail soup. I bet Lizards can make bales of hay out of this one.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:14 PM | Report abuse

It was NERVES. Really, I did not think Celebritology would jump on the Roberts' did it deliberately bandwagon. Obama also jumped the gun with saying his name. Again, just nerves. It was an entirely HUMAN moment.

Now that the Democrats control both Congress and the White House, can we stop blaming the Republicans for everything that goes wrong? Including the pandas failing to mate properly.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 2:16 PM | Report abuse

Okay, my Canadian roommate just got into high dudgeon over this. It is NOT beaver tail SOUP. It is beaver tail pastries, which are apparently a great delicacy not involving actual beaver in anyway.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 2:21 PM | Report abuse

Wasn't byoolin supposed to be on the Mall today? I'm interested to hear what he had to say.
I didn't realize Liz was twittering.

Posted by: pras40 | January 20, 2009 2:27 PM | Report abuse

ep
Well, of course it was nerves! But this was today's biggest event, and Lizards aren't ones to duck a snark opportunity.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:27 PM | Report abuse

ep
Including the pandas failing to mate properly.

Hmm, maybe Bill Clinton could explain to them how the act is performed. Oh wait, he and Monica didn't literally do that. (See, I'm a bipartisan snarker!).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:30 PM | Report abuse

Now that the Democrats control both Congress and the White House, can we stop blaming the Republicans for everything that goes wrong? Including the pandas failing to mate properly.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 2:16 PM

*******************************************

Did Nancy Pelosi give them some birth control?

Given a panda's reluctance to mate, maybe they want to be extinct.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Could someone please summarize and post Queen Liz' twittering, for those of us not into such things?

The citrus zest is grated, the butter softened, the oven pre-heated, so now I'm off to watch the parade and turn my ingredients into food.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 2:32 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, wonder if the male Panda has a cigar handy?

Posted by: rashibama | January 20, 2009 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Of course then I see on the side of the Daily Mail that they've outed the Stig!

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 10:30 AM
************************************

So, I came late to the party, but this news is the worst I've heard all day.

Posted by: SugarMagnolia22 | January 20, 2009 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Of course then I see on the side of the Daily Mail that they've outed the Stig!

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 10:30 AM
************************************

So, I came late to the party, but this news is the worst I've heard all day.

Posted by: SugarMagnolia22 | January 20, 2009 2:57 PM

******************************************

Apparently he can only be heard by cats, you know.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 3:16 PM | Report abuse

A certain celebritologist said the same thing on her twitter feed

Posted by: eet7e | January 20, 2009 2:08 PM


Sorry, not quite up to twittering yet. The interwebs can be so confusing.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 3:24 PM | Report abuse

Like Chief Justice Roberts and President Obama, the pandas get performance jitters when they know they're being scrutinized down to their toenails (or claws).

Posted by: jelo | January 20, 2009 3:28 PM | Report abuse

ep, I certainly didn't mean to imply in any way that Roberts did it on purpose--of course not. I just think it was ill-advised to rely on memory when it's such an important moment and nervousness is a given.

Prayers for Senator Kennedy--sounds like it was a scary moment.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 20, 2009 3:29 PM | Report abuse

By the way, here is the Celebritology Twitter page:

http://twitter.com/celebritology

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 3:30 PM | Report abuse

ep, I certainly didn't mean to imply in any way that Roberts did it on purpose--of course not.-sorcerers_cat

*******************************************

I on the other hand think it was deliberate. Obama didn't take the Constitutionally mandated Oath of Office, ergo he is not president. I'd say more but I think I hear a black helicopter.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, I don't love you anymore.

Okay, Sorcer's Cat, we can agree that a notecard would have been a good thing right then. I took a longer oath to become a lawyer. Geez.

Definitely prayers for Sen. Kennedy. He so wanted to see this day.

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 3:46 PM | Report abuse

Did anyone catch how at 12:07 p.m. or so Katie Couric said, "Well, right now Joe Biden is president because President Bush's term ended at noon." because while Biden had taken his oath, Obama hadn't yet?

I would love to know if any constitutional scholars would consider that 10-minute interval a very brief term of our nation's second Catholic president. ?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 3:53 PM | Report abuse

ep and Dorkus: If Mary Matalin and James Carville can make a mixed-party marriage work, surely you two crazy kids could sustain a virtual flirtation, couldn't you? Puh-lease?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 3:53 PM | Report abuse

Dorkus, I don't love you anymore.-ep

*******************************************

Oh say it ain't so ep, say it ain't so. If I promise to take you out for a beer and Salt Lick will you forgive me?

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Hot, fresh shortbread's pretty good. Slivered almonds (for protein) on top turn it into health-food, right? Right?


td
I'd bet doctoral dissertations are already being planned on this 10-minute hiatus.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 3:56 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, what Nosy said. (It's like those old Taster's Choice TV commercials. Will they or won't they? C'mon, you two, make up already.)

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 3:57 PM | Report abuse

I would love to know if any constitutional scholars would consider that 10-minute interval a very brief term of our nation's second Catholic president. ?


Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 3:53 PM

Because I was watching Charlie Gibson & Diane Sawyer I can tell you Constitutional Scholars are split on whether the President Elect automatically becomes president at noon or if the oath must be taken.

Posted by: jes11 | January 20, 2009 3:58 PM | Report abuse

td, there is a debate on that subject with another guy. I cant for the life of me remember the president, but inauguration day was on a Sunday and he refused to take the oath on that day, so they had someone fill in for him until the next day. Scholars are still debating on whether or not that constitutes a presidency.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 3:59 PM | Report abuse

Found it:

http://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/minute/President_For_A_Day.htm

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 4:01 PM | Report abuse

Honestly, the 20th amendment is pretty vague. Doesn't mention the oath at all.

"Section 1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin."

Article 2 section 1 of the constitution is clearer: "Before he enter on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

I would say Biden was acting prez for 10 minutes ;-)

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 20, 2009 4:09 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, the bass part was performed well with a strong timber.
Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 1:07 PM
--------------------------------------------
Did they shiver your timbers, Dorkus?

If Chief Justice Roberts had simply STFU and let Obama recite the oath from memory, it would have been done correctly.

Most elouquent moment was the chamber quartet performance of the John Willaims' riffs onSimple Gifts.

It was also the most surreal moment, because Yo-Yo Ma performed for Obama. Say that quickly three times.

Twitter is an evil plot by Verizon Wireless to entice customers to pay higher service fees.

If ep doesn't love Dorkus anymore for that one remark, then it was never meant to be.

When little -- and still little -- Tommy Cruise Mapother was a child and some adult asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, does anyone really think that little -- and still little -- Tommy Mapother said, "I wanna kill Hitler!"? Would little -- and still little -- Tommy Cruise Mapother have to invent a time machine before he could kill Hitler? Maybe little Tommy Mapother invented Twitter.

Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong!!

http://www.zippythepinhead.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=obama

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 20, 2009 4:11 PM | Report abuse

Little Sasquatch preferred to watch Queen for a Day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_for_a_Day

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 20, 2009 4:13 PM | Report abuse

Has anyone checked to see if Byoolin ducked into the nearby Canadian Embassy for the plat du jour?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 20, 2009 4:16 PM | Report abuse

Make it a Shiner and all is forgiven Dorkus. Especially after the geek reference about the oath and presidency.

I would say that Obama became president at noon, but he can't do anything as president until he takes the oath (before he executes ...).

Posted by: epjd | January 20, 2009 4:36 PM | Report abuse

Nice semantic distinction there ep. ;-)

I'm so pleased they've made it to the indoor viewing booth--I was getting cold just WATCHING Michelle walk the route. Great outfit, but she did not look warm!

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 20, 2009 4:50 PM | Report abuse

Make it a Shiner and all is forgiven Dorkus. -ep

*******************************************

Anything you want ep.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 20, 2009 5:01 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the links about the oath, our prez-for-a-day, etc. Great stuff. Sounds like Obama was technically president at noon but Biden had the power until Obama got through the oath.

I'm now seeing the idea for an SNL skit of today's event.

* Our chief justice is squirming like a five-year-old child because he forgot what to say next and forgot to put his homework in his backpack before he left the house. So he makes up the oath on the spot, saying things like, "um, because I, really really want to do a great job and, um...."

* Biden loudly yells "lalalalalala" with his fingers in his ears as Obama tries to take the oath but can't get through it because Biden keeps sabotaging him by distracting him so he (Biden) can be acting president just a little longer.

* Then Aretha Franklin appears out of nowhere in a gigantic stovepipe hat and bursts into song, causing the chief justice to forget the lines he was making up and instead begins feeding Obama the lyrics to "Respect" instead.

Could be a funny bit.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 20, 2009 5:06 PM | Report abuse

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