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Posted at 7:06 AM ET, 01/27/2009

Morning Mix: Matt Damon to Debate Bill Kristol? Donnie Osmond Set for 'DWTS'

By Liz Kelly

George Clooney (right) and father Nick Clooney discuss 'Good Night and Good Luck' Monday evening at D.C.'s Newseum. (Getty Images)

Tuesday

Headlines: Bill Kristol agrees to debate Matt Damon... Oprah says she wouldn't have been interested in Illinois Senate seat... Janet Jackson cancels tour "due to the impact of economic crisis"... Michael Jackson's "Thriller" headed for Braodway adaptation... Donny Osmond says he's on deck for next season of "Dancing with the Stars"; meanwhile, K-Fed opts out... Daniel Craig signs on as villain in new Tintin movie... Drew Barrymore says she's happy being single, working on another "Charlie's Angels" movie... George Clooney and dad talk journalism at D.C.'s Newseum... Paul McCartney playing benefit to teach kids yogic flying... Jennifer Aniston reunites runaway dog with owner... "Ugly Betty" headed for cancellation?... Kanye West asks to be called "Martin Louis the King, Jr."... David Beckham sued for allegedly beating photographer.

Pix & Vid: Jessica Simpson rocks high-waisted jeans... Mickey Rourke in his new signature pose, yet again.

Crime Watch: Paramedic charged in Travolta extortion case... Defense opens case in Phil Spector murder retrial.

Rumor Mill: Jenny from the Block headed to Broadway?... Madonna spends another weekend with A-Rod at Jerry Seinfeld's East Hampton home... Source says Nancy Shevell not marrying Paul McCartney... Meryl Streep agrees to "30 Rock" cameo.

Say What?
"Lindsay is aware that she's lost some weight due to stress, but we recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals." -- Lindsay Lohan's publicist responds to rumors that her client's bad habits are taking a toll on her health.

By Liz Kelly  | January 27, 2009; 7:06 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Spector Trial Watch: Now Hair This

Comments

Liz, check out today's Argyle Sweater for some Madonna comic snark - http://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2009/01/27/

Posted by: MStreet1 | January 27, 2009 8:05 AM | Report abuse

LiLo ate two full meals? Would that be a full glass of water AND a lemon slice?

Oprah didn't want the seat? Was it too small?

From yesterday, do Wee Tom and other scientologist wear their "special underwear" while making pronouncement concerning the health and welfare of non-believers?

Posted by: elias_howe | January 27, 2009 8:06 AM | Report abuse

Well, coulda been worse. Kanye could have instead decided he wanted to be called Martin Luther King the First. Or Jesus H. West. Or K.Diddy.

"Thriller"? On Broadway? Can I be Ola Ray? I can scream a lot, even for a guy. Oh please? I need this part BAD -- see, I was supposed to be touring with Miss Janet but she's affected by the bailout, so. . . .

First Marie Osmond, now Donny. We'll know the DWTS franchise is nearing its end when Jimmy Osmond wins.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 27, 2009 8:22 AM | Report abuse

So, JS has some 'new curves'. You know what? She looks good! She probably had to starve herself to be a size 0.

George Clooney- always looks good.

Posted by: Guest1234 | January 27, 2009 9:02 AM | Report abuse

Yay! A Tintin movie!
Yay, Daniel Craig in a Tintin movie!

Posted by: pras40 | January 27, 2009 9:10 AM | Report abuse

Bill Kristol was always an insipid platitude mouthing buffoon... I'd rather see him on celebrity boxing with Tonya Harding.

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | January 27, 2009 9:10 AM | Report abuse

quintiliusvarus-I, for one, would pay good money to see that. Especially since I'm fairly sure Tonya Harding would win.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | January 27, 2009 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Jessica, I like a girl with curves, but the mom jeans have got to go.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 9:35 AM | Report abuse

ASinMoCo
I'm fairly sure Tonya Harding would win

I bet Nancy Kerrigan could beat Kristol, too.


Guest1234
George Clooney- always looks good.

His dad's hardly chopped liver, either!


Oprah says she wouldn't have been interested in Illinois Senate seat.

For once I sympathize with Oprah. It's not her fault she got mentioned by a raving delusional loony.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 9:36 AM | Report abuse

td
Martin Luther King the First

Historical note: There actually was a Martin Luther King Sr. (fondly called "Daddy" King), the father of Jr. Sr. was the long-time pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. During services one Sunday in June 1974 a (former?) member entered the church and shot a number of people, including Sr's. wife (known as "Mommy" King), who died.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 9:41 AM | Report abuse

Wikipedia adds re Mrs. King's murder:
She was shot and killed on June 30, 1974 by 23 year-old Marcus Wayne Chenault as she sat at the organ of the Ebenezer Baptist Church. Chenault was a deranged gunman from Ohio who stated that he shot King because "all Christians are my enemies."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 9:45 AM | Report abuse

I'm fairly sure Tonya Harding would win.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | January 27, 2009 9:14 AM

*******************************************

Yeah, but he'd still say George Bush won. (and that's it on politics for me)


Sir Paul, yogic flying is fine and dandy, but getting on an airplane is much easier.


Question for you ladies, would it really matter what movie Daniel Craig was in, so long as Liz gave a link to a certain swimsuit picture?


Any ideas on what Donny will do to top Marie's fainting on cue? I think projectile vomit due to nerves might just do it.


Skip past the Mickey Rourke pic to the shots of Kate Winslet. That's a much better visual.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 9:46 AM | Report abuse

Paramedic charged in Travolta extortion case

Couldn't he have just put the story up for bid among the tabloids? Not as big a payday, to be sure, but at least there'd have been less risk of arrest. Now he'll have less than nothing.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 9:49 AM | Report abuse

At first I thought that Matt Damon was going to debate Billy Crystal. Gotta get some caffeine.

Micky Rourke, I have a cream that might help.

Martin Louis the King, oh pul-leeze! King of what???

Thriller the musical! Think Michael should milk this further and do one of those national audition shows like they did for Grease? Everyone knows the Thriller dance.

Lilo had two full meals. When? Last week? Like I said, someone give that girl a sandwhich, now.

Hey Liz, when I clicked on the Beckham link, I got another picture of Mickey Rourke with his hand in his pants. Thought you should know..

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 9:51 AM | Report abuse

Martin Louis the King, oh pul-leeze! King of what???

The Looney bin?

Posted by: Guest1234 | January 27, 2009 9:57 AM | Report abuse

Dear Dorkus,

"Question for you ladies, would it really matter what movie Daniel Craig was in, so long as Liz gave a link to a certain swimsuit picture?"

Nah.

Fondly,
One of the Ladies

Posted by: jaybbub | January 27, 2009 9:58 AM | Report abuse

Dear Kanye,

No. Just no.

Tiredly,
Everyone

Posted by: jaybbub | January 27, 2009 9:59 AM | Report abuse

great, now I've got "I'm a little bit country....I'm a little bit rock'n'roll" stuck in my head. Help me make it stop!

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 10:02 AM | Report abuse

That's a fine looking picture of 2 fine looking gentleman up there. Both Clooney's look great in that pic.

And no, it wouldn't matter what movie Daniel Craig was doing, that bathing suit pic will suffice for any & all future Daniel Craig annoucements of any kind.

DWTS, can a show like that Jump the Shark? Didn't it already start out kinda chum-like?

That said, I will probably hafta watch yet another of my teen idols humiliate himself on national TV.

Speaking of teen idol humiliation, anyone watching the Scott Baio teen idol show? Good stuff there!!

Posted by: wadejg | January 27, 2009 10:03 AM | Report abuse

wadejg
DWTS, can a show like that Jump the Shark? Didn't it already start out kinda chum-like?

(snorts tea out of nose)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Queen Liz, were you able to attend the Clooneys' talk at Newseum? Any first-hand reporting you can share with us?

Dorkus, thanks for the tip on Kate Winslet.

Enough Mickey Rourke, already! That dude's a freakshow.

Daniel Craig to play villain in a Tintin movie... that will star Jamie Bell, also feature Simon Pegg and Mackenzie Crook, and be directed by Spielberg. Better and better!

Somebody needs to tell Jessica Simpson that her mom's Gloria Vanderbilt's were hot in 1986, but now, not so much.

Kanye, I'm pretty sure we can design a self-help program to get your over yourself. The first step prescribes a pry-bar for removing one's cranium from one's nether regions - now get busy!

Posted by: northgs | January 27, 2009 10:18 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for the pic of Nick Clooney, Liz. I grew up watching him on TV in Cincinnati.
As for the Kristol/Damon "debate". Who wants to see that? Remember what happened with that "chat" with John Cusack? I totally agree that there should be some kind of 4-way cage/jello wrestling involving Rush Limbaugh, Stephen Colbert, Kristol and possibly that Coulter idiot.

Posted by: possum_pouch | January 27, 2009 10:22 AM | Report abuse

Thanks, Nosy. I didn't know much about MLKing, Sr. (of course, I knew there was one...).

Great idea about the national audition show for "Thriller," hodie. Let's get the guys in that Phillipine prison from YouTube in on the act.

"And a little bit o' Motown in my soul." (Sorry, now it's in my head too.)

DWTS could do theme shows -- don't give me 13 weeks of Donny, just one show each. Instant vote and winner, and we're done.

* Teen Stars (Donny, Bobby Sherman, Susan Dey, Eve Plumb)
* Sitcom Moms (Joanna Kearns, Patricia Richardson, is Jane Wyatt still alive?)
* TV Interviewers (Dick Cavett, James Lipton, Barbara Walters)
* Shark Jumping Sitcom Kids (Ricky Seagull, Robbie Rist, Brian Bonsall, Raven-Symone, Joey Lawrence if you count "Gimme a Break")

Much easier that way. You avoid the multi-week Cloris Leachman train wrecks and move on to the next set of has-beens. Plus, who wouldn't want to see James Lipton do the pasa doble?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 27, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

I think I know where LiLo's lost weight went- it's in Mickey Rourke's pants.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | January 27, 2009 10:28 AM | Report abuse

DWTS: chum-like...great description, wadejg!

Posted by: pras40 | January 27, 2009 10:40 AM | Report abuse

Donny Osmond on DWTS: at this rate, can Abe Vigoda be far behind?


"Jennifer Aniston reunites runaway dog with owner." Just who claims ownership on John Mayer, anyway?


Kanye West asks to be called "Martin Louis the King, Jr." - thereby exposing a shocking family secret: that his father, Martin Louis the King, Sr., is the King in those Burger King commercials.


Phil Spector's defence strategy: the famous Spector "Wall of Lawyers."


Nancy Shevell not marrying Paul McCartney? Who does she think she is - Giselle Bundchen?

Posted by: byoolin1 | January 27, 2009 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Btw, I was wondering where little Shiloh Jolie-Pitt/Pitt-Jolie was these days. You never see her anymore.

Posted by: pras40 | January 27, 2009 10:43 AM | Report abuse

#1 What's the deal about the Travolta "extortion" case? Were the people apprehended ready to tell the truth and that's why they're being arrested and charged? I don't get it.

#2 David Beckham is being sued for alledgedly beating a photographer at what, rock, paper scissors?

I M Puzzled,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 27, 2009 10:44 AM | Report abuse

David Beckham sued for allegedly beating photographer.

Mudge, maybe the expression "Bend it like Beckham" has multiple meanings.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 10:49 AM | Report abuse

Methinks, your mention of the Jolie-Pitts reminds me...yesterday saw footage of the red carpet walk for the SAGs. I was actually quite suprised and endeared to Angelina when she walked right past a bunch of shouting reporters to sign a Disney autograph book for a little boy who was hanging over a wall to watch. She didn't stop there, she then interrupted an interview that Brad was having with a reporter and made him sign it too, saying "it's for the boy". I know many of you will think it was calculated but she certainly appeared sincere to me. Yeah they do some strange things now and again, but I still like them.

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

Kristol Meth versus Matt (not as bright as Ben) Damon. What a brain trust that pair is.

Posted by: yellojkt | January 27, 2009 11:02 AM | Report abuse

Maybe Mickey can go interview with Regis and Kelly. She'll KNOW where his hands have been.

Posted by: ripariandweller | January 27, 2009 11:05 AM | Report abuse

quintiliusvarus-I, for one, would pay good money to see that. Especially since I'm fairly sure Tonya Harding would win.

Posted by: ASinMoCo | January 27, 2009 9:14 AM

Tonya: Stop hiding and fight, you F-ing pansy!

Kristol: Not in the face! Not in the face!

Posted by: memphis1 | January 27, 2009 11:13 AM | Report abuse

Of course, Oprah wouldn't have wanted the seat. You have to do a financial disclosure to be in the Senate. So your fellow senators know when you are operating from a conflict of interest rather than just getting money into your district. Caroline Kennedy is not the only person who wants to keep that stuff private.

Kanye West, go learn something about the Civil Rights Movement. Then you will see why what you are suggesting is offensive. People DIED so you could have the right to expose your ego the way you always do.

Posted by: epjd | January 27, 2009 11:16 AM | Report abuse

Jessica, I like a girl with curves, but the mom jeans have got to go.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 9:35 AM

------------------------------------------
And you're just the man to help her remove them, right, Dorkus?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

Did anyone else notice that George Clooney does his signature "look up through his eyelashes with his head tilted" at his dad? Weird

Posted by: LTL1 | January 27, 2009 11:26 AM | Report abuse

Hey Liz, when I clicked on the Beckham link, I got another picture of Mickey Rourke with his hand in his pants. Thought you should know..

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 9:51 AM
-------------------------------------------
This squares with my suspicion that Liz forgot to make "beating" a compound verb; I think she left off "off."

Props to Byoolin for his "Wall of Lawyers" quip!

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Kristol: Not in the face! Not in the face!

Posted by: memphis1 | January 27, 2009 11:13 AM
-------------------------------------------
Betcha that Kristol Meth wouldn't say that if he was "beating" Beckham.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 11:30 AM | Report abuse

Speaking of George Clooney, he will be in St. Louis filming a movie. Anyone know where I can purchase one of those paparazzi stalking kits?

as ever,
jake e. poo

Posted by: milesdy | January 27, 2009 11:31 AM | Report abuse

Kristol: Not in the face! Not in the face!

Posted by: memphis1 | January 27, 2009 11:13 AM
-------------------------------------------
Betcha that Kristol Meth wouldn't say that if he was "beating" Beckham.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 11:30 AM

*****************************************

And suddenly my yogurt is looking unappetizing...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 11:32 AM | Report abuse

jake e. poo, how's the weather in St. Louis today? I gather it's headed toward DC.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 11:39 AM | Report abuse

From the Donny Osmond article: Interjected Marie: "I just want to see him in stretchy pants."
"So that's how it is in their family!..."
-Mr. Rooney, FBDO

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 11:41 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, which one are you expecting? The snow we got overnight or the rain and sleet we're getting now?

as ever,

jake e. poo

Posted by: milesdy | January 27, 2009 11:49 AM | Report abuse

When I do the Mickey pose at home, my wife just shouts something insulting at me and rolls her eyes. I don't get it. Maybe I'll try not washing my hair for a few days.

I'm surprised there were no celebrities announcing they were having twins today. What exactly is up with all these multiple births of the famous?

Kayne is the son of "the King in those Burger King commercials" ... Byoolin, that is just too funny.

Posted by: rashibama | January 27, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

While I'm not a fan of celebrities spouting off about their politics - simply because I just don't care - I'd forgotten how much I loved Matt Damon for comparing Sarah Palin's VP candidacy for a Disney movie "Hockey Mom". That was so dead on I remember giggling for hours.

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | January 27, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Sleet and ice are generally the most dangerous.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 11:52 AM | Report abuse


Sleet and ice are generally the most dangerous.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 11:52 AM
----------------------------------------
Does Mickey Rourke call his trouser snake "Sleet" or "Ice"?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 11:57 AM | Report abuse

Icycle?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

Nosy -

Imagine being stuck at the office because of the weather . . . Owe, the humanity!

Your friend,

Curmudgeon, keeping an eye on the window

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 27, 2009 12:02 PM | Report abuse

Icicle.

Ack. Blood sugar low. Need lunch. Now.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 12:03 PM | Report abuse

Imagine being stuck at home because of the weather . . . Owe, the hibernation!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

EEEEEWWWwwwwww!

Mickey's is all melty?

eeeeewwwwwwwww

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 27, 2009 12:06 PM | Report abuse

Leave it to sas to turn my treacherous drive home into a penis joke.

Try being trapped at the office with nothing for lunch except a cupcake and nuts.

Start the innuendos...now

Posted by: milesdy | January 27, 2009 12:15 PM | Report abuse

Rashibama
What exactly is up with all these multiple births of the famous?

-It is due to one of two reasons: 1. Many celeb mom's are older and older women are more likely to have twins. That is because as a woman ages, her FSH level (a hormone that helps control ovulation) goes up leading to more than one egg being released.
2. Celebs who are too busy, too impatient, or too old, seek fertility treatments which increase risk of multiple births.

Science lesson done. Quiz tomorrow. Bonus points for naming celebs with twins.

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 12:30 PM | Report abuse

LTL1, I also noticed Clooney's "head down, eyes up" pose (a.k.a. acting style). Dad looks ready to swat Sonny like a fly if needed.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 27, 2009 12:32 PM | Report abuse

"She didn't stop there, she then interrupted an interview that Brad was having with a reporter and made him sign it too, saying "it's for the boy". I know many of you will think it was calculated but she certainly appeared sincere to me."

Calculated? You betcha. She probably wants to adopt him. Run little boy run.

Posted by: supersonic1 | January 27, 2009 12:35 PM | Report abuse

Calculated? You betcha. She probably wants to adopt him. Run little boy run.

Posted by: supersonic1 | January 27, 2009 12:35 PM

you know, I never thought about that.....

Posted by: hodie | January 27, 2009 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Try being trapped at the office with nothing for lunch except a cupcake and nuts.

Start the innuendos...now

Posted by: milesdy | January 27, 2009 12:15 PM

-----------------------------------------
The fortunate aspect of the situation is that you have an item available, regardless of your preference.

As for this cryptid, he's been having "fun" for the past couple of hours trying to get his work laptop connected to his secure home wireless network. I won't bore you with the differences between the WPA and the WPA-2 encryption protocols. Suffice it to say that XP Pro likes only WPA and can't handle WPA-2. Grrrrr!!!!

Meanwhile, back to Mickey Rourke's trouser snake and Jessica Simpson's Mom Jeans. Notice how Dorkus has refrained from responding to my contention that he would like to help Ms. Jessica remove her Mom jeans.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 12:42 PM | Report abuse

I thought Jerry was a Mets fan!

Posted by: paujwill | January 27, 2009 12:45 PM | Report abuse

Notice how Dorkus has refrained from responding to my contention that he would like to help Ms. Jessica remove her Mom jeans.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 12:42 PM

*******************************************

Whoops, sorry there Sas' I didn't even see that comment. I'm not saying I wouldn't mind helping her remove those jeans, but only so long as she doesn't talk.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 12:46 PM | Report abuse

I'd rather watch Johnny Damon debate Sylvia Kristel.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 27, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Advice for Matt Damon: Do some research by watching Bill Kristol's appearances on The Daily Show. He is easily tripped up by facts and reality.

Posted by: milesdy | January 27, 2009 1:09 PM | Report abuse

Best way to make a fool out of Kristol Meth: Quote back or play back to him some of his comments from 2004-2007. Especially his predictions.

Question is why Fred Hiatt wants to use precious op-ed space for Kristol Meth.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 1:13 PM | Report abuse

What was Mickey thinking wearing the same suit to the SAG awards that he wore to the Golden Globes a couple weeks back (with the orange shirt, scarf, pocket square, and shoes)? Apparently, he got another kit with a gray scarf and pocket square, but his "stylist" mixed it up with a black shirt. But what color are his shoes?!? Did he go with the orange again, black, gray or some other color?

Posted by: Questioner4 | January 27, 2009 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Mickey Roarke is just doing "The Al Bundy".

Janet Jackson is worried about the economy? I think I just recently saw a picutre of her and her weight was back up. I would think that would have more to do with her decision.

For all that is holy and good - Don't cancel Ugly Betty!!

Posted by: JLRGG | January 27, 2009 2:00 PM | Report abuse

"Lindsay ate two full meals."

But did she keep them down?

"[Madonna's] fuming over unflattering photos from her album cover shoot that were leaked online."

These days, all her photos look like a blond Amy Winehouse with muscles.

"Jenny from the Block headed for Broadway." "Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' headed for Broadway adaptation."

JLo as Michael's zombie love interest. Oh, I wanna be a producer....

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 27, 2009 2:04 PM | Report abuse

If I had such powers, I would officially remove the expression "Mom jeans" from the vernacular for high-waisted jeans. Don't know the last time you guys shopped for women's jeans, but they come in every variety from high waist, mid waist, low on waist and ultra low on waist. Some of us, like me for example, look completely ludicrous in low-waisted jeans (I'm 5'2", have a 26 inch short waist and 36 inch hips). Honestly, low-waisted jeans make me look like a misshapen dwarf. I still rock my old 501s. No one thinks they look like "Mom jeans".

Having said that, those jeans Jessica are wearing are hideous.

With any luck, this jury will not feature two total idiots who buy into the mind-blowingly absurd notion that Lana Clarkson shot herself. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up, no one would believe you. Time to put that little troll in prison where he belongs.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 2:05 PM | Report abuse

So I'm not the only one who still loves 501s?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 2:46 PM | Report abuse

sorcers_cat
Honestly, you can't make this stuff up, no one would believe you.

I have just two little letters for you: O and J.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 2:49 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat, not sorcers_cat. Sorry, sweetie!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 2:50 PM | Report abuse

No Nosy, many of us still love 501's; mr. jelo just bought three pair at Academy. However, JSimp isn't "showing off her new curves", she's showing off a big gut, made so by ill fitting pants and accentuated by a too-tight shirt. I came of age in the 80s, and in case anyone needs reminding, high-waisted pants make *everyone* look like they've got a gut. No thanks.

Posted by: jelo | January 27, 2009 2:50 PM | Report abuse

Good point, Nosy. But I can't help imagining the first defense strategy meeting.

Spector: So, I invite this beautiful woman I met that night to my house for a drink. She refuses to have sex with me and wants to leave, so I threaten her with the gun. It goes off and I shoot her in the face.

Lawyer: Hmmm. Tricky. Wait! I know! We'll say she found the gun and killed herself!

It's just so surreal and profoundly ridiculous.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 3:00 PM | Report abuse

"...and in case anyone needs reminding, high-waisted pants make *everyone* look like they've got a gut."

Huh? Not unless they've actually *got* a gut.

The teenage girls I see around here are most often wearing low cut jeans and a lot of them have a small roll of flab hanging over the waistband. It's gross. Hard to decide whether it's healthy not to have all the body issues we had as teenagers or an unfortunate mass delusion that they look sexy in midi shirts and low cut jeans with a belly.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 3:07 PM | Report abuse

Nuh-uh sor-cat!! Any and all high-waisted pants cut into your waist line, making a bulge where there should be none. The problem with hw pant-bulgy guts and lw pant-muffin tops, is that mass manufacturing of clothing simply cannot accomadate variety in body types, and the fact that hardly anyone buys clothes that actually fit.

I just have too many bad memories of the button of my hw jeans on my stomach after family night at the Sizzler.

Posted by: jelo | January 27, 2009 3:16 PM | Report abuse

I will concede that if the waist is too small for the wearer, the result is as you describe. (see Simpson, Jessica). Just depends on body type and fit. My high waist pants (some of my suits came that way) fit very nicely, and are very figure flattering.

Granted, most of these models are rail thin so the "gut" issue is moot, but these are almost all high-waist and consequently *some* of them actually look like they *have* a waist (meaning, a waist that is narrower than their hips).

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSCLOALPZZZ&cgnbr=OSCLOALPZZZ&rfnbr=2419

Again, body type and fit make all the difference, so I think we're on the same page.

Okay, sorry I got that topic going folks. I just hate the expression "mom jeans" for ALL jeans that don't ride low.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 3:38 PM | Report abuse

I am sorry, but I have to say this. We have half the board calling Jessica fat and the other half making fun of a girl with an eating disorder (Lindsay).

I would love to know in what world is Jessica fat. Yes, her pants were a bad choice, but fat she is not.

Posted by: supersonic1 | January 27, 2009 3:44 PM | Report abuse

I don't think anyone is calling Jessica "fat" per se. She's just wearing an unflattering outfit that makes her look like she's got bulges because she's cinching in her waist.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 3:51 PM | Report abuse

I was saying Boo-urns....

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 4:07 PM | Report abuse

"Boo-urns, Dorkus? Is that some sort of new recepticle for cremains?

huh?

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 27, 2009 4:26 PM | Report abuse

PS that phenom with the fat roll over the top of the low rise jeans is called a muffin top :)

If we want to talk fashion peevs I can't stand the thin cotton shorts that are too tight and have Princess, Sexy or what ever across the butt. Rarely do the words fit the visual.

Heck sometimes it's Pri ess or S y (you can just imagine the dark crevass where the letters were lost)...

Posted by: LTL1 | January 27, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

Mudge,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtwslpXHR9I

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 27, 2009 4:32 PM | Report abuse

LTL, I hear you. As a plus-sized woman, I totally agree that there are some things that just should not come in plus sizes! Sweatpants with "Juicy" written across the seat are at the top of that list. All other pants with anything else written across the seat (or decorating the back pocket) are second on the list. Low-rider stretch denims are third.

Posted by: northgs | January 27, 2009 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Thanks LTL, I never knew what to call it (except gross, unflattering, blech, insert word of choice here). Also totally on board with the advertising on the butt. Also not very fond of t-shirts with that kind of stuff written on the front--it just seems tacky. Ditto whale tails and tramp stamps. I'm not far from Venice High School--you should see the girls at lunch time. It's pretty appalling.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Oh goodness, LTL. I almost spit my Sauv. Blanc on the screen...what a waste that woulda been.
Your comment about the "lost" letters reminds me of an old penis joke. Something like there were two nurses who examined a male patient. The ugly nurse saw the word "hi" tatooed on his penis. The pretty nurse saw the word "hilarious"...or something to that effect.

Posted by: possum_pouch | January 27, 2009 4:46 PM | Report abuse

Great save on the wine, possum! It doesn't do to waste it! ;-)

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 4:51 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat
whale tails

Do I want to know?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:00 PM | Report abuse

Probably not, Nosy. It's the view of the back of the wearer's thong sticking up over low rise jeans. *shudder*

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 5:02 PM | Report abuse

I believe sor_cat is referring to the visible thong over very low riding jeans??

BTW--I love Boo-urns. That's what sor_cat should say to the girls who dress so very badly. J.Simp included.

Posted by: jelo | January 27, 2009 5:04 PM | Report abuse

Ewww, I saw that on a 30-something woman on the plane recently. An even less pretty sight.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:04 PM | Report abuse

Yep. Pass the brain bleach please.

Jelo, I'm blanking on Boo-urns. ???

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Queen Liz, would you be able to prepare something for tomorrow on movies made from newly-deceased author John Updike? There's "Rabbit, Run" and "The Witches of Eastwick." Does anyone know of others?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:37 PM | Report abuse

movies made from THE WRITINGS OF newly-deceased author John Updike?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:40 PM | Report abuse

Not a celebrity story, but LA news today is obsessed with this birth of octuplets at Kaiser. It took 46 medical professionals to deliver what they thought would be seven and turned out to be eight babies--what do you think THAT costs?

It creeps me out. I'm all for the miracle of birth and all that, but human beings aren't supposed to have litters.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 5:41 PM | Report abuse

litters

(LOL!)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:46 PM | Report abuse

sorcerers_cat, the forerunners of Celebritology were obsessed with the Dionne Quintuplets, who were a naturally-occurring multiple birth. I recall reading that the parents tried to profiteer off the girls. This was in Québec province, so I'm sure byoolin can add more on the topic.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 5:52 PM | Report abuse

My Mom used to tell me stories about the Dionne quints--it was kind of sick, they practically put them on display while growing up. But yeah, that was a natural occurrence and very rare, and to that I merely shrug.

This is a case of fertility assistance and it's ridiculous. IMO, anyway.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 6:30 PM | Report abuse

Maybe Dr. hodie can weigh in on this for us tomorrow, too.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 27, 2009 6:33 PM | Report abuse

"practically put them on display." No, quite literally put them on display. It was not the parents however. The Canadian government took the girls away from the parents deeming them "unfit" and gave them their own big home across the road. The girls were then displayed for visitors for YEARS. Plus, endlessly studied by so-called doctors. One experiment involved them having to taste different colored papers to see if they tasted different. The girls spit them out.

The parents did not regain custody until the girls were teenagers (maybe pre-teen). Then it was still a mess. They were blamed for all the family troubles, etc. All those girls ever wanted was privacy. The surviving three had to sue the Canadian government to see even some of the money they earned for the state when they were too old to support themselves. It's a very sad story.

Posted by: epjd | January 27, 2009 6:58 PM | Report abuse

Thanks ep, all of that is ringing familiar. I agree, a very sad story. When I said I merely shrug, I meant that a naturally occurring multiple birth is a curiosity, it happens, whatever. In contrast to this circus today that was deliberate (although no doctor would intend for 8 to carry to term, this was the mother's choice).

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | January 27, 2009 7:07 PM | Report abuse

"litters" Ouch.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 27, 2009 7:40 PM | Report abuse

For a musical review of garment malfunctions related to the human gluteal cleft, listen to this:

http://www.bobrivers.com/player/player.asp?atype=tunes&ID=822&Speed=4

The above link is for a 300K connection. The web site also has slower connections.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 10:00 PM | Report abuse

Your comment about the "lost" letters reminds me of an old penis joke. Something like there were two nurses who examined a male patient. The ugly nurse saw the word "hi" tatooed on his penis. The pretty nurse saw the word "hilarious"...or something to that effect.

Posted by: possum_pouch | January 27, 2009 4:46 PM
-------------------------------------------
Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day!

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 10:18 PM | Report abuse

Hmmmm....I had figured that all those women wearing showing gluteal crack were plumbers.

Perhaps they could use this handy product:

http://www.joe-ks.com/MultiMedia/CrackSpackle.htm

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 10:24 PM | Report abuse

Don't you just hate it when you're sitting behind some twit/tw*t wearing low rise pants, and they have lint in their butt crack?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | January 27, 2009 10:30 PM | Report abuse

sor_cat--Boo-urns was from a Simpsons episode, where a crowd was booing Mr. Burns. Smithers hurried to convice Burns that no, they weren't booing him, they were chanting "Boo-urns".

Posted by: jelo | January 28, 2009 9:11 AM | Report abuse

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