Morning Mix: Tom Cruise, Mark Wahlberg Among Golden Raspberry Nominees

Lisa Bonet gives birth to son Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.

AKA "Wolfie" at the playground.

Jennifer Aniston would love to guest star on "Mad Men"... Amy Winehouse reportedly lobs water glass at fellow

(Anniston) says, "I like Madmen. I would love to be in that. It is such a good show, it's great. I love the 50's era."

50's era?

There are two kinds of famous Canadians. One kind (e.g., Lorne Greene, half of The Band, until recently Mike Myers) is the kind that makes Canadians proudly say, "He/she is Canadian, you know." The other kind (Celine Dion, Loverboy, and recently Mike Myers) is the kind that Canadians - when there are no other options - are forced to admit are Canadian.
Three guesses as to which category Tom Green inhabits.

Call me crazy, but Roseanne Barr would have made a very interesting Secretary of State, dontcha think?

Merle Haggard focuses on ending his pot habit? He can barely focus on getting the lighter to the bowl!

Now that R. kelly is divorced he hopes to get back into the dating game. He's asked his daughter if any of her friends are single.

Rumer Willis seems to have the exact same jawline as Jett Travolta did.

Amy Winehouse reportedly lobs water glass at fellow vacationer. Yeah, right. As if Amy Winehouse drinks water.

How can Keanu be up for a worst acting award? Wouldn't that imply that acting robotically wasn't his natural state?

Nicole Kidman, maybe you could've connected to Australia emotionally if you hadn't botoxed all the emotion out of your face.

Ooh, a picture gallery of ScarJo, thank you Liz.

I can't snark on Lisa Bonet's kid's name, maybe I'm just too much of a Stargate: Atlantis fan.

I've got to take issue with the Daily Mail, Rumer Willis's hair is not burnt orange. This is burnt ornage:

http://tinyurl.com/8r6v53

Roseanne, Israel may have enough money to pay every Palestinian not to shoot at them, but do they have enough money to pay you to never talk again?

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa = Wolfie? Well, Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen's son is named Wolfgang, so there's a celebrity precedent. Someone should check to see whether his name stunted his emotional growth.

byoolin
As if Amy Winehouse drinks water.

Thre semantics lesson for tiday: "water glass" doesn't necessarily mean her glass actually contained water.

Vogue's Anna Wintour set to become Obama's ambassador to France?

So soon the Devil will wear Chanel?

Re ongoing curiosity as to why no one checked on Jett Travolta for roughly 12 hours the night he was stricken: One must wonder at how carefully some Hollywood types vet their children's prospective nannies. Here's the transcript of a story on NPR's "Day to Day" yesterday about a nanny-to-the-rich who charged a bundle, then farmed her charges out to a $10/day unlicensed childcare apartment:
"Hollywood Nanny's 'Child Dumping' Scheme Unravels"
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=99120521
(One of these children was reportedly autistic)

today, not tiday. Need more caffeine.

A tip o' the chapeu to ep's brilliant snark late yesterday (for those who missed it):

"Cruise Calls Travolta Tragedy 'Horrific,' Defends Scientology: Tom Cruise Makes First Public Statement About Jett Travolta on ABC's 'The View'"
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/CelebrityCafe/story?id=6604608&page=1

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 5:20 PM

Here's one of my favorite parts of the article, from an expert on alternative religions:

"A Scientology funeral is likely to emphasize the movement of the thetan from attachment to this body to attachment to another body," [he] added. "The hope is that the thetan will come back in better times, with a better body, with a better spiritual nature."

After the funeral, it's likely the organization will ask Travolta, his family and Jett's caretakers to undergo evaluations to banish any ill feelings about the tragedy.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 5:25 PM

For which they will be heavily charged.

Posted by: epjd | January 8, 2009 7:04 PM

chapeau. Gotta go get that caffeine before I post again!

Wow. Somebody needs to get Evan Rachel Wood a pair of "shoes".

Byoolin says: "Amy Winehouse reportedly lobs water glass at fellow vacationer. Yeah, right. As if Amy Winehouse drinks water."

That's why she threw it!

If Merle wants to break the pot habit, he needs to stop hanging around Willie Nelson. I was at the Willie Nelson Family Picnic this past 4th of July, and Merle performed. He was looking pretty frail, but sounded fantastic.

I think the best way to describe Rumer's looks is "unfortunate". Its like the saying (or whatever) that the Nobel Prize winning, nerdy scientist marries a supermodel so that their children will have his brains and her looks. But they all end up with her brains and his looks. Beautiful parents don't equal beautiful children.

Since everyone else is theorizing on Rumer's looks I'll throw in my own assessment. The lower half of her face is Bruce Willis and the top half in Demi Moore, that's why is looks so funky.

By the way jelo, I like the idea of nerdy scientist types and supermodels getting together.

Whenever I see the name Tom Green I think of the South Park song "Blame Canada" starts to play. No offense Byoolin.

I can't say anything about Wolf's name. 1)It's the only one I can pronounce correctly and 2) I am also a fan of Atlantis as well.

Wee Tom is being a bit dramatic. The death is sad and condolenses to the family but horrific. I don't know about that or maybe I need to brush up on the meaning of horrific.

jelo, wasn't that George Bernard Shaw's riposte to dancer Isadora Duncan when she propositioned him with the notion that a possibile melding of their genes would result in her beauty and his brains?

Dang it, I get a do over.

Whenever I see the name Tom Green I think of the South Park song "Blame Canada." No offense Byoolin.

I'm not sure of the quote origin Nosy. Since I'm librarian, I suppose I could look it up.

A capital notion, jelo!
http://paxblog.vox.com/library/post/textbook-quote-shaw-and-the-dancer.html

(I was starting to get unsure of whether it was Shaw or Churchill or Bertrand Russell, although I don't think Winnie was brainy enough nor Bertie witty enough).

Byoolin, Roseanne as SecState would have the rest of the world singing, "Henry Kissinger, we've been missin' ya..."

You'd just beat me to that link Nosy. There are so many quote books and sayings at my disposal, that I had no clue where to start, and my reference skills are mighty rusty.

My initial thought was P.T. Barnum, but he had the "I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly" quote.

Possum Island is also in the market for a new ambassador. How much you want to bet we get Rosanne?
I like Rumer Willis' hair. At least she's not wearing that beret thingy. Her face would be way improved if she smiled instead of sort of squinching her mouth and throwing out her jaw like a grouper.

Speaking of celebrity child-collectors, as we were yesterday(Mia/Angelina):

Isadora Duncan took in numerous orphans in Europe during WW I, including a little boy whose mother was dead and whose father had been called into the service. This child was reunited with his father after the Great War, and grew up to become a world-famous entertainer. Anyone else know who he was?

Singer/dancer Josephine Baker was also a child-collector, taking in about a dozen orphans following WW II, also in Europe; I don't know that any of them grew up to become famous.

"Wee Tom is being a bit dramatic. The death is sad and condolenses to the family but horrific. I don't know about that or maybe I need to brush up on the meaning of horrific."

Especially since he just did a movie about Nazis.

I think the best way to describe Rumer's looks is "unfortunate". Its like the saying (or whatever) that the Nobel Prize winning, nerdy scientist marries a supermodel so that their children will have his brains and her looks. But they all end up with her brains and his looks. Beautiful parents don't equal beautiful children.

Posted by: jelo | January 9, 2009 9:33 AM

Yup. "Yikes! Celebrity Kids"

Billy Joel & Christie Brinkleys' daughter.
Aaron & Candy Spelling's daughter.
Christina Onassis.
Caroline Kennedy and a lot of the Kennedy clan.

Lilo goes out with Sean Penn. The Anne Heche Epiphany begins.

I guess Nicole had trouble with the Aussie accent? I almost said "Ozzie accent" but THAT is famously unintelligible to anyone.

When is Jen going to guest star on "Meet the Press"? Bet Angie could.

In fact, instead of picking a permanent host right away, NBC should have let us the viewers vote on guest hosts: Paris Hilton, Keanu Reeves, Justin Timberlake, ScarJo...

I was feeling a little upset with Israel, but now Roseanne has made me feel sorry for them.

I don't think that boy's name has nearly enough vowels, Lisa.

"(Anniston) says, "I like Madmen. I would love to be in that. It is such a good show, it's great. I love the 50's era."

50's era?"

Not to mention that Mad Men is set in the 60s.

What a doof she is.

Here's a Friday list for you: Celebs that need to just STFU (in no particular order):

Jennifer Anniston
Brad Pitt
Roseanne Barr
Rosie O'Donnell (she's been quiet lately, but no STFU list would be complete without her)
The Entire Osbourne Family
LiLo
Paris Hilton
Jessica Simpson
Tom Cruise
Gwynneth Paltrow

There. My Friday will be much more enjoyable now.

I always wondered what a union of one of Redford's kids with one of Newman's kids would produce....

Tell us who, Nosy! Tell us!

All I know about Isadora Duncan is that if a short ditty John Lennon can be heard singing on a bootleg of the Let It Be sessions is to be believed, she worked for Telefunken.

memphis
I always wondered what a union of one of Redford's kids with one of Newman's kids would produce....

A film festival in Utah with free popcorn?

(Anniston) says, "I like Madmen. I would love to be in that. It is such a good show, it's great. I love the 50's era."

50's era?

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 9, 2009 8:52 AM

The show is set in the 60's. In the first season the firm is working for Nixon in the 1960 presidential election against Kennedy.

Maybe Jen should watch the show before saying how much she loves it.

Also, she frankly wouldn't fit in on the show. She's fine as Rachel, and I liked her in "Office Space", but in a drama? That requires a bit of subtlety in acting which she just does not posess. "Mad Men" currently has the best acting ensemble on television. She is just not as talented as most people in that cast and would stick out like a sore thumb. She should stick to comedy appearances.

byoolin, if you explain your reference, I'll explain mine!

I think it's on Sweet Apple Trax (which contains a really cool, very fast, different lyrics version of "Get Back," BTW). They're getting read to do "Don't Let Me Down" and John's goofing around. He sings, "Isadora Duncan/worked for Telefunken."

My other favourite Telefunken reference is in Frank Zappa's "Crew S***," in which he tells Mary from Canoga Park, "It looks just like a telefunken U-47."

"With leather?" she replies.

Jazz violinist extraordinaire (and keeper of the Django Rinehart flame) Stephane Grappelli.

byoolin, I suspect Lennon was just going for a cheap rhyme. Not that I ever would, of course...

Great comeback, Nosy!

& thanks for the tidbit about Stephane Grappelli, too!

memphis, I thought your line re Wee Tom's horror, "Especially since he just did a movie about Nazis," was brilliant!

Just once, I'd like a pregnant celeb to issue a statement saying she's "scared as hell and wondering how/when this happened" rather than "thrilled".

Actually, according to Stephan Grappelli's own recollections, his father enrolled him in Isadora Duncan's dance school. He hated it, but his exposure to Debussy inspired him to become a musician. When his father was conscripted in WWI, Stephan was placed into an orphanage. He described the conditions as "Dickensian."

Isadora Duncan adopted many of her students, but this was after WWI, they were all female and the press nicknamed them "the Isadorables."

re: Isadora Duncan--her bizarro scarf-convertible induced death led to this brilliant quote from Gertrude Stein "affectations can be dangerous." Unfortnately, none of the affectations of modern celebrities are dangerous enough. I'm looking at you Gwynnie.

Trumance, what you say is surely true for most of the teenagers who get knocked up outside wedlock.

But in fairness to Ana Ortiz and Rebecca Romijn (I assume you're referring to the Ortiz article linked above), both ladies were already married before they became pregnant, and well into their 30s already. So I can believe that their pregnancies were planned (especially in Romijn's case, where it resulted in twins).

"AMY WINEHOUSE is still finding herself in trouble despite escaping her shambolic London lifestyle - she reportedly hurled a glass of water over a fellow tourist in St Lucia following a heated argument."

There was water in the glass. The argument was the result of Winehouse mistakenly thinking the tourist slighted her.

I applaud the use of the word "shambolic" to describe Amy's lifestyle.

At this point, how can anyone stand within 2 feet of Amy and not have their finger poised on their phone's camera button at all times?

Merci pour le chapeau tip Nosy.

I would give wee Tom a pass on the horrific remark, if he weren't really trying to CSA there. Losing a child is a horrifying, devasting thing. So, for someone as uneducated as Tom, horrific might be the right word. Of course, that also describes his religion's atititude towards treatable conditions.

Okay Lisa Bonet we get it, you do not want to ever be remembered as a Cosby kid. Depsite the fact no one would have any clue whatsoever who you are without that show.

Yes, Dorkus, there is only one true version of burnt orange. I didn't even have to follow the link to know what you were talking about.

Lisa Bonet's baby ... I stopped reading after the 18th name, but my head still hurts.

Hey, I applaud Evan Rachel Wood for proudly displaying a completely flat chest. It's like giving the finger to all those bimbos with implants, which is to say most of Hollywood.

ep, re $cientology's attitude toward treatable conditions: On TV last night one of their mouthpieces kept stressing how they believed in medical treatment for MEDICAL conditions which, reading between the lines, I took to mean that autism doesn't count as a medical condition. BTW, is "Entertainment Tonight" a $cientology front? The cult and its celeb members get treated with kid gloves on that show. Yecchhhh!

Heck, I've only been to Texas once (through Amarillo, driving Route 66), yet even I caught that burnt orange reference.

ep, Nosy, I may be just a tad upset towards a certain #4 ranking.

Word is that Lisa Bonet settled on the baby name only after finding out that Mekalekahi Meka Hiney Ho was already taken.

Dorkus, my favorites wound up in the Toilet Bowl this December (not even January). Worse yet, one of them lost.

I am more than a tad upset over the #4 ranking. I am even more upset that I amde the colossal mistake of depending on Oklahoma last night. I know, I know, never trust Oklahoma.

Entertainment tonight treats everyone with kid gloves. It's the only way anyone will appear on the show.

BTW, is "Entertainment Tonight" a $cientology front? The cult and its celeb members get treated with kid gloves on that show. Yecchhhh!

Nosy, I'm betting that's a result of Scientology's crack lawyer squad. (See also: Operation Freakout, Gerry Armstrong, the South Park episode "Trapped in the Closet".)

Great Pee Wee reference MStreet.

Rachel Even Woods looks scads better now that she is sans Marilyn Manson. And I agree, big ol' fakey implants, aka Clown Tits, should be so outre.

Celebs that need to just STFU = Sarah Palin!

Evan Rachel Wood looks fine to me, but I was more drawn to her face first. And as Gene says, anything more than a handful is too much.

Now I'm going back my dissertation on why USC is undeserving of a #3 ranking.

Really, those AP voters are insane. USC which is a pretty boy school and tends to have busts in the NFL AHEAD of Texas? Blasphemy.

Why is Jesse James suddenly trying to be famous? One thing I liked about his marriage was that he kept out the spotlight.

Liz, Returning to the original Morning Mix, I notice that you can spell (or at least copy/paste) Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa, yet inflict a double-n on Ana Ortiz ‽ Could you correct this, please?

Dorkus, ep, I can help with that dissertation on why USC is not #3. I fully acknowledge my school of choice (UGA) isn't up there, but I hate hate hate USC and the mistaken notion among the media (ahem, Kirk Herbstreit) that USC gets no love and that the media should thus compensate for that.

Ok Lis (or Lilakoi-wth!?)you & your man win the prize for baby with longest, most alliterative, meaningful name. Didya think once how the heck is that name going to fit on the kid's SSN card?

That Roseanne Barr- always keepin' it real- real CRAZY that is.

Wonder how embarrassed Nic would be if that flick hadn't tanked the way it did

After the Cosby Show, Lisa Bonet co-starred with Mickey (ew) Rourke in Angel Heart. It was clear from her nekkid role in this movie that she didn't want to be remembered solely as a Cosby kid.

There's also the stuff about chicken blood but I'm not going into that.

See what happens when we forget to send the Friday love to the Swayze:

http://www.austin360.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/TV/People_Patrick_Swayze.html

An infection at this point cannot be good, if he is still undergoing chemo. Oh dear.

Lots of love to the Swayze.

Nice catch ep, keep sending out the good vibes.

Alright, the weather is warm and sunny, I'm out to go play.

Gee guys, I'm away at meetings and such for a couple of days, and look what happens. The blog turns into a Bowl Championship Series Beyotch Session.

I hesitate to write this, but the color of Rumer's hair reminds me of Liz' hair color from a couple of years ago.

Besides, red heads are hot. As Ms. Snatchquatch could tell you, I like red heads.

Dorkus
Alright, the weather is warm and sunny, I'm out to go play.

Boo, hiss, brr, boo, hiss, brr...

Alright, the weather is warm and sunny, I'm out to go play.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 9, 2009 4:05 PM

--------------------------------------------
Keep it clean, Dorkus. We won't want to be reading stories about the Pressed Ham Bandit of Austin.

Late again, darn those bursts of detrimental energy! Plus my darn Owen Wilson Rolex Suicide Watch stopped. Anyone else having problems with theirs?

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa!? How do you put that in the Banana-fana-fofana song?

Lindsey leaves Samantha for a man. We knew it was coming but did anyone guess it would be Sean Penn????? Knock me over with a feather.

Rumer's hair looks like she did it with a box of Garnier in her bathroom sink. But I've seen worse. She does have the complexion to go red.

The Govenator takes to Twitter. That sounds about right.

Kevin Costner's hospitalization lasted almost as long as Costner's membership on the Hollywood A List.

hodie, the Governator is practically a Renaissance Man compared to Governors Sarah "Thanks, but no thanks" Palin and Rod "bleepity bleep bleepin' bleep" Blagojevich. Oh wait, that's not necessarily a comfort.

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa -- isn't that the lady who sang "Wild Night" with John Mellencamp?