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Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 01/ 8/2009

Truth-Squadding Paris Hilton's Chaste Claim

By Liz Kelly

Paris Hilton and then boyfriend Benji Madden at June's MTV Movie Awards. (AP)

Paris Hilton, the maddeningly glib hotel heiress who shot to fame after the release of a homemade X-rated Internet sex video, is again demurely claiming that she's not as promiscuous as she's previously led us to believe. In the new issue of Glamour, Hilton says she's downright prudish:

"I've only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it's important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag -- they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you."

Hilton last made this claim in 2006, when she told British GQ that she had only ever slept with two men and that she planned to give up sex for an entire year. Which may have been easy considering that she spent most of spring 2007 in and out of jail.

In the interest of truth-squadding Paris's assertion, we investigate a sampling of men for whom Paris may -- or may not -- have been a cheap fake Prada bag.

Rick Salomon: No question about it, Hilton's "1 Night in Paris" co-star (read all about it) is included in the definite column. We can't link to the unequivocal evidence here, but if workplace overlords aren't a concern Google will happily point you in the right direction.

Jason Shaw: Paris's very first ex-fiance, she agreed to marry the model/actor in 2002, but broke up in early 2003 -- shortly before the premiere of "The Simple Life," Hilton's very first reality show.

Paris Latsis: Hilton's first Greek shipping heir, the two were briefly engaged in 2005. The engagement was called off when Latsis's mother learned about the Salomon sex tape.

Nick Carter: The one-time tween singing sensation has been outspoken about his relationship with Hilton and later described the couple's lackluster intimate moments thusly:

"We'd flown to the Bahamas and I wanted everything to be perfect. But Paris got completely wasted and the sex was distinctly average as we were both too drunk to really enjoy it. It was just a blur of Jack Daniel's."

That's hot.

Stavros Niarchos: Hilton's second Greek shipping heir, who was also once linked to Lindsay Lohan. No confirmation here, but we have to assume that extreme dancefloor PDA (slightly NSFW) doesn't count.

Benji Madden: Hilton most recently said she intended to marry this Good Charlotte guitarist, brother of Nicole Richie's baby daddy Joel Madden. Extrapolating from the time since she would have ended her self-imposed celibacy (August 2007), we would have to assume that Hilton may have consummated the relationship. The couple split up in November.

And, no, I can't bring myself to add George Clooney to the list.

By Liz Kelly  | January 8, 2009; 10:43 AM ET
Categories:  Paris Hilton  
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Comments

Based on that photo, we can add a cheap wig and a bottle of spray-tan to the list...

Posted by: northgs | January 8, 2009 11:41 AM | Report abuse

"A blur of Jack Daniels" -- nice one, Classy Has-Been Boy-Bander! So who's to blame for the Backstreet Boys, Jim Beam? Is Johnnie Walker the reason li'l bro Aaron was a one-hit wonder? (Personally? All my excuses are Bailey's.)


Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 8, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

Another thing: Paris shouldn't throw around the word "bag" too loosely. Fake Prada? More like fake Timex.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | January 8, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Honey, if you want to play to get, do not wrap yourself all over them. Then you are just a tease.

And anyone who has a sex tape does not get to use the word "chaste" ever.

Posted by: epjd | January 8, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Well, ditz is as ditz does (as my old grannie used to say).

Actually, my old grannie probably never said that - couldn't speak English.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 12:43 PM | Report abuse

Oh, so she's "everything but girl"? Pulleeze.

Is any man stupid enough to believe crotch-baring Paris Hilton isn't a skank?

She talks about respect from a guy ... is she really deluded enough to think any man would respect her?

Posted by: Californian11 | January 8, 2009 12:48 PM | Report abuse

Paris, define " a couple". Couple of what? A couple dozen?
So you don't have more than one Prada? I'll bet then there is also a Burberry, a Gucci, a Louis Vuitton, a Chanel, ......

Posted by: hodie | January 8, 2009 12:54 PM | Report abuse

"We'd flown to the Bahamas and I wanted everything to be perfect. But Paris got completely wasted and the sex was distinctly average as we were both too drunk to really enjoy it. It was just a blur of Jack Daniel's."

LOL! Drunken blur produces average sex!

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 8, 2009 1:01 PM | Report abuse

I find her assertion hard to believe, but also inconsistent with all of her other PR efforts, which seem to presume our endless fascination with an untalented, famous-for-what? young woman as she trades up through a succession of boyfriends.

(Which has proven to be a successful PR effort, I might add).

Posted by: 44west | January 8, 2009 1:28 PM | Report abuse

Another Mia/Angelina factoid:

Both gave birth to twins.

Posted by: jezebel3 | January 8, 2009 3:00 PM | Report abuse

Men know that PH is a skank. Men do not care. I count myself as an exception to this rule. The only positive thing I can say about her is at least she's not Madge.

And too late for the online chat, I have watched Barbara Hershey for years. She IS a witch.

Posted by: reddragon1 | January 8, 2009 3:08 PM | Report abuse

Grandpa Rashibama always said, "Average sex is better than no sex, especially if you're all blurred up on Mr. Daniel." (Yes, he had profound respect for Jack and his sour mash.)

He also said, "Never play poker with a person named after a state, and never have sex with a woman named after a European city."

BTW, Curmudgeon, Grandpa did speak English, but with a distinctly Appalachain-American accent.

Posted by: rashibama | January 8, 2009 3:31 PM | Report abuse

"Never play poker with a person named after a state..."

Dakota Fanning? Texas Guinan? Illinois Jacquet? Tennessee Williams? George Washington (oops)

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 3:47 PM | Report abuse

We Lizards are blessed with eccentric but wise forbears, aren't we rashibama.

Just how do you suppose they knew so much about the ins and outs (as it were) of sex?

VTY,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 3:52 PM | Report abuse

Just how do you suppose they knew so much about the ins and outs (as it were) of sex?

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 3:52 PM

I would rather not think about that!!! LOL

Posted by: hodie | January 8, 2009 3:57 PM | Report abuse

hodie
I would rather not think about that!!!

I trust you didn't deliver babies by searching under cabbage leaves out in the vegetable garden. LOL!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 4:05 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, I'm sure hodie was only there for the end result.

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 8, 2009 4:08 PM | Report abuse

Speaking of "1 Night in Paris"...

"Porn industry seeks $5 billion federal bailout"
http://www.ajc.com/business/content/business/stories/2009/01/08/flynt_porn_bailout.html

"In an announcement that launched a thousand unprintable puns, adult-entertainment moguls Larry Flynt and Joe Francis said Wednesday that they are asking Washington for a $5 billion federal bailout, claiming that the porn business is suffering from the soft economy.,,"

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 4:22 PM | Report abuse

The late ex's rules to live by:

Never eat at "Mom's Place,"
Never play cards with a dealer named Doc and
Never knock Ferragamos with anyone who is crazier than you are.

Posted by: memphis1 | January 8, 2009 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Never knock Ferragamos with anyone who is crazier than you are.

Posted by: memphis1 | January 8, 2009 4:26 PM

******************************************

I really could have used that advice years ago...

Posted by: DorkusMaximus1 | January 8, 2009 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Nosy, I'm sure hodie was only there for the end result -- DorkusMaximus1 |

And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings this thread to a climax.

Posted by: rashibama | January 8, 2009 4:31 PM | Report abuse

" . . . the porn business is suffering from the soft economy."

BWAHAHahahahahahaha!

too easy.

Your friend,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 4:34 PM | Report abuse

So try harder.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

"In an announcement that launched a thousand unprintable puns, adult-entertainment moguls Larry Flynt and Joe Francis said Wednesday that they are asking Washington for a $5 billion federal bailout, claiming that the porn business is suffering from the soft economy.,,"

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 4:22 PM
=========
Alan Greenspan called it "irrational exhuberance." Hodie would call it priopism. And oh, the treatment for that is gonna be painful.

Posted by: mdreader01 | January 8, 2009 4:42 PM | Report abuse

um, ok. How's this . . .

rashibama said "brings this thread to a climax".

Yours,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 4:45 PM | Report abuse

Doesn't Gwennie the Poo have a cure for "irrational exhuberance"?

(Or at least an opinion about its dnagers?)

Wonderingly,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 4:47 PM | Report abuse

After trying Gwinnie the Poo's diet, you lose all interest in sex. But, that's okay because after the cleansing thing your partner has lost all interest in you.

Posted by: epjd | January 8, 2009 5:00 PM | Report abuse

Sometimes I think we are all sooooo insightful that we ought to hire ourselves out to a think-tank and solve the world's problems and uncover the mysteries of the universe.

Other times I think - nah.

As ever,

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 5:10 PM | Report abuse

I think the think-tank thing is a good idea. We'd need a logo. Maybe a Lizard holding a laptop?

Posted by: rashibama | January 8, 2009 5:27 PM | Report abuse

We could call ourselves the Rand-y Corporation‽

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | January 8, 2009 5:31 PM | Report abuse

Yes! The Rand-y Corporation. I like it.

(Perhaps that way we can all expense our Tiki Bar charges.)

Speaking of which, the Lizard should be holding a laptop and a fruity drink in a frosty glass with an umbrella pick.

Whee!

Curmudgeon

Posted by: bmschumacher | January 8, 2009 5:34 PM | Report abuse

Our motto: We drink, therefore we think.

Posted by: rashibama | January 8, 2009 6:55 PM | Report abuse

I usually just read the comments but I just have to say that Paris is officially a complete twit. What a sexist thing to say! She's creating her own no-win situation because now she's only attracting slimeballs who want to brag about a conquest with her. No decent man would want such a misguided nitwit.

Too funny about the "soft" economy affecting the porn industry. Any guesses as to a bailout plan?

Posted by: dcdweller2 | January 9, 2009 9:03 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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