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Posted at 10:39 AM ET, 02/27/2009

The Ka-Ching of Pop: Michael Jackson Unloads His Treasures

By Liz Kelly

Imagine item 919, a hand-made Renate Hornung doll, in your entry hall. (Image courtesy Julien's Auctions)

If you've got a little nest egg set aside to guard against homelessness or end of times, you may want to consider spending that money on a piece of history.

Michael Jackson will attempt to stave off his own economic downturn when he auctions the "treasures" from his onetime ranch, Neverland, in April. In case you were wondering, no glittery gloves or Elephant Man bones will be up for sale, but treasures do include a demented "Ziggy the Talking Clown" gumball machine (item 724, $800 - $1,200) and a gaming system unhappily named the "Virtual Boy" (item 731, $100 - $150).

If it's a little Latin flavor for the home you're after, why not bid on the slot machine hand-carved and painted to resemble a life-sized Mexican bandito? A bandito who happens to be wearing a fez and pointing a gun straight at you (Item 766 -- $800 - $1,200). Clothiers may want to snap up both the bandito and the life-sized figure of a young boy playing basketball (item 800, a bargain at $80 to $120). The eye-catching mannequins may be just what you need to reinvigorate flagging sales.

Next fall, amid the crush of Halloween and Thanksgiving, imagine your satisfaction when gazing upon a life-sized E.T. statue "decorated in a fall motif" (item 823, $600 - $800) in your very own living room!

Upgrade junior's room with a toy chest bench hand-painted with "The Crown Jewels" (Item 875, $80 to $120), the life-sized figure of a costumed man -- who appears to be a cross between Willy Wonka and the Mad Hatter -- eternally grinning from his perch on a pink cube (Item 879, $200 - $300) or one of several hand-made Renate Hornung handmade dolls that bear a striking resemblance to mummified Scottish children (item 919, $300 - $500).

Lest you think this is a sale only for children or the child-obsessed, golfers will be pleased to find the custom golf cart with an image of Jackson as Peter Pan painted on the hood (Item 989, $4,000 to $6,000). And singletons, your nights will be lonely no more with the addition of a molded rubber life-sized figure of a woman in pink bathrobe and curlers clutching a copy of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" (Item 923, $400 to $600)

And who will be able to resist bidding on the signed 13x10 inch black and white photograph of a pre-teen Roddy McDowell encased in a gilt frame (Item 860, $100 - $150)? Truly, treasures are to be had on every page of the 242-page catalog. Mark your calendar now to avoid missing out.

By Liz Kelly  | February 27, 2009; 10:39 AM ET
Categories:  Hollyweird, Michael Jackson  
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Comments

Jacko as Peter Pan. Please pass the brain bleach. I always thought we were much better off just taking that story at face value, and not trying to analyze it.

Posted by: reddragon1 | February 27, 2009 10:49 AM | Report abuse

That doll is really creepy, it must have been a perfect fit at Neverland.

Posted by: northgs | February 27, 2009 10:52 AM | Report abuse

OMG that is the creepiest doll ever. I think I'm going to have bad dreams tonight.

Posted by: Guest1234 | February 27, 2009 11:06 AM | Report abuse

ew i feel like i need to take a shower now

Posted by: mannc | February 27, 2009 11:12 AM | Report abuse

You can't buy good taste.
Is it any wonder the guy is broke? Between grabby relatives, paying lawyers and legal fees from molestation trials, and buying what amounts to a houseful of life-sized figurines it's a miracle he has anything left.

Posted by: pras40 | February 27, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

I shudder to think at the bad juju that will accompany these items into the "winners'" homes.

...and that doll would make a better Bride of Chucky than Jennifer Tilly.

Posted by: gmart68b | February 27, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

Doll looks like Chucky's kid sister. Veeeery Creepy! (just like it's soon to be former owner)

Posted by: hodie | February 27, 2009 11:24 AM | Report abuse

I was just thinking I'm going to have nightmares about that creepy doll scraaatching at the door to get in.

Posted by: jes11 | February 27, 2009 11:38 AM | Report abuse

And singletons, your nights will be lonely no more with the addition of a molded rubber life-sized figure of a woman in pink bathrobe and curlers clutching a copy of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"

So 'Lars and the Real Girl' was based on a true story, who knew?

Posted by: jes11 | February 27, 2009 11:39 AM | Report abuse

I didn't know they'd made a Danny Partridge doll! (But why is he wearing Tracey's dress? And does that mean they had to make two different Chris dolls? But I digress.) I picture this auction in one of two ways.

1) Inventorying the home of Charles Foster Kane (but in color), and that somewhere amid Rosebud the sled and the bones of the Elephant Man are Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart playing cards with Macauley Culkin and Emmanuel Lewis. Or:

2) An expanded episode of "Clean House," where Niecy Nash is going to have to keep tabs on Michael so he doesn't keep sneaking some of that overpriced gaudiness back into the KEEP tent, Matt Iseman gets lost while reconfiguring all the closets, and Trish Suhr makes dollar deals with Tito, Jermaine, et al., on their old J5 memorabilia so they can resell it all on eBay to pay the rent.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 27, 2009 11:53 AM | Report abuse

AGGGHHHHH!!!!! That doll is f'ing CREEPY!!! Thanks a lot, Liz! I'm going to have nightmares, too. Who the hell would make such an ugly doll?? And who would buy it? Ugh! I'll be sleeping with the lights on tonight, methinks. Shudder.

Posted by: blahblah6b | February 27, 2009 12:04 PM | Report abuse

"Upgrade junior's room with a toy chest bench hand-painted with 'The Crown Jewels' (Item 875, $80 to $120)"

A "toy chest" with "the crown jewels" painted on it? Shouldn't the cops have seized this as evidence years ago?

Posted by: mdreader01 | February 27, 2009 12:09 PM | Report abuse

I must agree that the doll is the creepiest creation ever. I will definately need a night light after seeing that thing. Steven King could probably come up with a great story about it.

Michael was buying any ole piece of crap off the street and to think I could have sold him a lovely macaroni sculpture.

Posted by: petalceleb | February 27, 2009 12:10 PM | Report abuse

That's not NEARLY as creepy as the life-sized Michael Jackson Batman Figure. There's a life-sized Batsuit over a life-sized Michael Jackson figure than can be yours for only $200-$300.

I'm sure it will look lovely next to the Lladro figurine of Michael Jackson that was made for-special just for him.

And when the servants have mutinied, he had life-sized replicas of them too!!

A LOT of his stuff was "life sized" which would lead one to believe that he didn't have a lot of REAL "life sized" friends.

He not one, not two but FOUR of those coin-op Fortune Tellers. You'd think that at least ONE of them would've told him to stop spending money like water & to stay away from small childre.

Oh the catalogs are semi-drool inducing (a life-sized Lego Darth Vadar is cool even if you're NOT a Star Wars fan) & yet sad & creepy all at once.

Posted by: wadejg | February 27, 2009 12:21 PM | Report abuse

Yes, that doll is hideous. It could stop vandals.

Posted by: chocolatetiara | February 27, 2009 12:25 PM | Report abuse

Have these items been sterilized prior to sale?

Posted by: MStreet1 | February 27, 2009 12:36 PM | Report abuse

what's sad is that he probably doesn't need all the dolls anymore because he's acquired himself three live humans to take their place.

make you wonder what's in octo-mom's attic.

Posted by: memphis1 | February 27, 2009 12:49 PM | Report abuse

Just looked at the catalogs, and there's actually quite a bit of nice furniture available. (There's quite a bit that's gaudy beyond belief, too.) But all of the figurines of pre-pubescent boys are shudder-inducing.

I've gotta say, if I had the room and money, I'd take the Ms. Pac-Man arcade game.

Posted by: northgs | February 27, 2009 12:50 PM | Report abuse

Memphis, I don't know what's in octomom's attic, but she definitely has bats in her belfry.

Posted by: northgs | February 27, 2009 12:51 PM | Report abuse

I just made it through the first catalogue. My favorite so far is on cat page 126 (site page 129). It's a figurine of the seated Abraham Lincoln statue from the memorial, but with two children at his knee. He is looking down on them with a most perturbed expression!

Every other item is a figurine or painting of some sort of child.

Posted by: mdreader01 | February 27, 2009 1:38 PM | Report abuse

I didn't know they'd made a Danny Partridge doll! (But why is he wearing Tracey's dress? And does that mean they had to make two different Chris dolls?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 27, 2009 11:53 AM


Tee hee. It's a Keith Partridge doll on some really, really bad acid. RE: The Dress. You had to be there.

Posted by: jezebel3 | February 27, 2009 1:42 PM | Report abuse

Is it just me or did anyone else find the headline as freaky as that damn doll??? Blech!

Posted by: clw96 | February 27, 2009 1:44 PM | Report abuse

I just got to the life sized figures of the maid and butler. Wait...HE OWNS THE DRIVING MISS DAISY CAR!

Lessee...MJ already owns a butler costume. He has the Bently from DMD. Doesn't he already have a means to earn some ducats without having to auction everything off?

Posted by: mdreader01 | February 27, 2009 1:44 PM | Report abuse

Yea, that was the scariest looking doll I have ever seen! And reading the posts related to this freaky doll has me LOL! Too funny!

Posted by: ivyleague | February 27, 2009 1:51 PM | Report abuse

Wasn't MJ "unloading his treasures" what that last trial was all about?

Imagine the fun and games kids must have had walking through that house. "Hmm, is that a life sized Mexican Bandito in a fez Or is it MJ, dressed as a life sized Mexican bandito in a fez??" Ooops, too late!

Posted by: trichobezoar | February 27, 2009 1:59 PM | Report abuse

George Carlin would have a field day talking about all of Jacko's "stuff."

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 27, 2009 2:02 PM | Report abuse

Anyone gonna bid on that box of Mr. Potato Head pieces, minus the noses?

Posted by: hodie | February 27, 2009 2:53 PM | Report abuse

Anyone gonna bid on that box of Mr. Potato Head pieces, minus the noses?

Posted by: hodie | February 27, 2009 2:53 PM

===========
COMMENT 'O THE WEEK!

Posted by: mdreader01 | February 27, 2009 2:55 PM | Report abuse

Oh my goodness. What is that centaur doing with that stag (Item #24)?!

Posted by: StuckatWork | February 27, 2009 3:18 PM | Report abuse

That stuff looks like it fell out of the back of a truck driven by a turn of the 19th Century Peruvian drag queen coming back from a buying trip to Cairo. What? It belongs to who? Michael Jackson?
Oh, never mind. I got it right the first time.

Posted by: chappell1 | February 27, 2009 10:31 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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