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Posted at 8:45 AM ET, 02/20/2009

Morning Mix: Photos of a Battered Rihanna Emerge Online; Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart to Marry?

By Liz Kelly

Damon Wayans arrives at Global Green USA's pre-Oscar Party Thursday in Hollywood. (Getty Images)
Friday

Headlines: Police investigating leak of alleged Rihanna photo; DA investigating Chris Brown for attempted murder... Heath Ledger's dad would accept Oscar... Mel Gibson ready to attempt acting comemback... Ann Coulter says she'd pass on George Clooney... Richard Simmons says he prays for fat celebs, like Jessica Simpson... Tori Spelling furious over lack of VIP treatment at Fashion Week show.

Pix: Violet Affleck, doing her thing... Katie Holmes mis-buttons her sweater (just like us!)... Kate Beckinsale sports black leather shirtdress.

First Lady Watch:
-- Michelle Obama Tries to Define Her Role (Post, Feb. 20)
-- Belt/skirt combo gets thumbs up.
-- Narrated Slideshow: Robin Givhan on the First Lady's favorite designers.

Rumor Mill: "Slumdog" co-stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto dating?... Birth certificates raise questions about Octo-mom's baby daddy; Suleman shops for million dollar home... Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen get matching tattoos (just like one Rihanna already has)... Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart to finally marry?... Kanye West dating model Amber Rose... Gwyneth Paltrow tries (and fails) to sing along with husband Chris Martin... Saks drops Victoria Beckham's denim line... Amy Winehouse shopping for Caribbean home.

Say What?
"I don't think that'd be age appropriate." -- Danica Patrick's response when asked if Jennifer Aniston could play her in a biopic. Angelina Jolie would be a better choice, she added.

Good Read
For many Britons, the only thing worse than publicly displaying too much emotion is publicly displaying too much pride in one's work. They're talking to you, Kate Winslet. (Stiff Upper Lip, Post, Feb. 20)

Oscar Bingo!
As promised in yesterday's live chat, I crafted a set of Oscar night bingo cards based on your suggestions. There are three different versions, so you can compete with your friends. Just print out the PDF versions and play along during both the red carpet arrivals and the ceremony broadcast.

Don't forget to join Jen Chaney and me Sunday at 6 p.m. ET for the Online Oscar Party.

By Liz Kelly  | February 20, 2009; 8:45 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: A Dozen Questions for Ricky Gervais

Comments

Heath Ledger's dad would accept Oscar. Whoa, pops, you're getting ahead of yourself. You haven't even gone out for any auditions yet...


"Ann Coulter says she'd pass on George Clooney." That sound you heard was George Clooney breathing a sigh of relief. Never mind having sex with her - how weird would dinner be, when after eating a plateful of worms she attempted to regurgitate some of them into your throat?

Posted by: byoolin1 | February 20, 2009 9:00 AM | Report abuse

Michelle Obama - wonderful event, lovely message, I usually love what she wears -

but the belt look makes her look pregnant. Is she?

Posted by: Amelia5 | February 20, 2009 9:05 AM | Report abuse

I re-watched Much Ado About Nothing a couple of weeks ago. Hadn't seen it since HS and realized that Kate Beckinsale played one of the main characters (opposite Robert Sean Leonard). She looked so young in that movie.

Posted by: mediajunky | February 20, 2009 9:14 AM | Report abuse

Thanks for ruining my morning with the Ann C. post. I couldn't keep myself from watching and was utterly revolted by that sallow skin, the drawn lips, the lantern-jaw. The woman's hideous dark soul shows up on her angular, unholy visage.

Glad I got that outta my system.

Amelia--that belt does accentuate a bit of a pooch, but I like the clothes anyhow.

Posted by: jelo | February 20, 2009 9:19 AM | Report abuse

Liz, don't mean to question you, but I don't think that's a photo of Damon Wayans. Its Keenan Wayans.

Posted by: milesdy | February 20, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Echo byoolin and jelo on Ann Coulter-she's just gross on every level.

Violet Affleck, on the other hand, is adorable.

I will definitely be using those Oscar bingo cards at my Oscars shindig. Thanks Liz!

Posted by: ASinMoCo | February 20, 2009 9:35 AM | Report abuse

Kate Beckinsale, hello there.

Katie Holmes, you look bad girl. Time to hit MickeyD's with Lindsay Lohan. (Oh, and ask Kate Beckinsale for tips on how to rock a pair of boots.)

Tori, just tell Christian to sew a pocket into his next dress he makes for you so you won't lose that invitation next time. Silly Donna!

"Ford, 66, and [Flockhart], 44, have been together since 2002, a rare feat in Hollywood, where relationships are often short-lived." Wow, since way back in 2002; gosh, who was U.S. President then? Help me out.

Liz, every girl Violet Affleck's age has had a pair of those shoes. No big.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 9:39 AM | Report abuse

Ya know, I think it *is* Damon. He's just aged (and it suits him).

Posted by: Liz Kelly | February 20, 2009 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Danica Patrick must be deluded. Why would anyone want to do a biopic of her? And why would an A-list star be interested? She hasn't done anything!

She's a token woman in a predominantly male industry, but she hasn't distinguished herself in any way, except exposing her rather chunky body in the SI Swimsuit issue. (BTW, give the airbrusher a substantial raise.) I guess her delusions of grandeur with that misguided statement confirms the reputation that she is a high-maintenance bee-yatch. Not surprising.

Posted by: Pupster | February 20, 2009 9:43 AM | Report abuse

Mel Gibson's new movie "is centered on a veteran homicide detective for the Boston Police Dept. whose only child is murdered on the steps of his home."

Nice cheery plotline, Mel. Sort of a Lethal Weapon Meets Mystic River thing. Will it be in Aramaic? Or will your Boston accent also require subtitles?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 9:46 AM | Report abuse

Yowza! Kate Beckinsale's leather shirtdress...

So Ann Coulter says she would pass on George Clooney, huh? If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know to look around for four horsemen and a demon with an ugly forehead tattoo.

Violet Affleck is a lucky child - she's the spitting image of her mother.

Richard Simmons, who normally amuses, needs to STFU.

Mel Gibson ready to attempt acting comeback... and if he pulls it off and acts like a normal human being, he'll be in the running for next year's acting Oscar.

Posted by: northgs | February 20, 2009 9:49 AM | Report abuse

mediajunky:

I own that movie, and as I looked at that picture, all I could think was where did THAT Kate Beckinsale go? She looked so young and fresh and pretty - very English Rose. The current version - while still gorgeous - looks like generic Hollywood starlet.

Per Ann Coulter - I'm not sure why I watched that since I do, actually, hate her politics and persona. (I don't know her personally, so I can't go so far as to say I hate her, since we know she plays semantic games.)

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | February 20, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Concur with the Coulter comments. I, too, am grateful that she'd pass on George Clooney, since she completes the mating act by ripping her partner's head off like a praying mantis. I think that would inhibit even Clooney's ability to act in anything outside of period horror films. ("Coming Soon: They Saved Hitler's Brain, starring George Clooney's Head!")

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | February 20, 2009 9:50 AM | Report abuse

Oh - Violet's shoes?

BOTH of my nieces - a decade apart - had a thing for the Ruby Slippers and the Wizard of Oz in general when they were that age. I didn't even notice them ;)

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | February 20, 2009 9:53 AM | Report abuse

Well, the action the LAPD is taking to find who leaked the picture must mean it's legit. Yikes. And Happy 21st birthday to Rihanna, don't mix alcohol with the pain killers.

Man, I was hoping Matilda would accept the award just to see what she would do with the microphone. If she's anything like my little nephew, it would be pretty darn adorable.

Danica Patrick, go away. You've had your 15 minutes and now you're just being dumb. The only next appropriate step for you would be Dancing with the Stars.

Posted by: eet7e | February 20, 2009 9:55 AM | Report abuse

Liz, whenever I try to open any of the Oscar Bingo cards, I get this error message: "Internet Explorer has encountered a problem with an add on, and needs to close."


Nice cheery plotline, Mel. Sort of a Lethal Weapon Meets Mystic River thing. Will it be in Aramaic? Or will your Boston accent also require subtitles?

Brilliant snark, td!


Re a Danica Patrick movie, didn't we already have Bonnie Bedelia playing Shirlye "Cha Cha" Muldowney in "Heart Like a Wheel"?


northgs
So Ann Coulter says she would pass on George Clooney, huh? If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know to look around for four horsemen and a demon with an ugly forehead tattoo.

Since it's Friday, how about a Lizard contest based on this excellent snark? For example:

"So Ann Coulter says she would pass on George Clooney, huh? If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know that Satan's taken to wearing thermal underwear."

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:05 AM | Report abuse

Oops! Don't call her Shirlye.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:06 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, that error message you received contains a typo. It should read, "Internet Explorer is garbage. Please install Firefox or Chrome or Opera or any one of about a half-dozen other browsers which wouldn't give you so much grief."

Posted by: byoolin1 | February 20, 2009 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Kate Beckinsale sports black leather shirtdress.

Sorry to be nitpicky, but a shirtdress by definition buttons down the front at least down to the waist, if not the skirt as well.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Oooh, Michelle O rocks!

That Violet Affleck is way cute.

And the really sad thing about Katie Holmes is that she mis-buttoned that sweater on purpose 'cause she think it makes her appear more "normal". Those people don't take a breath without planning it out.

Posted by: jaybbub | February 20, 2009 10:15 AM | Report abuse

The Coulter/Clooney comments -- brilliant! byoolin, jelo, northgs, Bawlmer51, Nosy. . . . I am in awe of such primo snark.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 10:15 AM | Report abuse

byoolin, I fear you overestimate my computer savvy. My favorite cure for computer woes is to turn the machine off, then turn it on again about a minute later (after it's had time to rest) and reboot. Anything more than that and I have to fetch the long-suffering Mr. P, who's actually read the manual(s).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:15 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, the Oscar Bingo cards are .pdf's- you may wish to update Adobe Acrobat and see if that fixes your problem. You could also try another browser and see if they load. (I like Firefox personally.)

And because you can't keep a good meme down..."If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know the Pope has converted to Scientology."

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | February 20, 2009 10:16 AM | Report abuse

To Ann Coulter from my teenage niece: " AS IF!"

To Mel Gibson: How can I miss you if you don't go away!?!

To Richard Simmons: from one fat girl to another... (just kiddin', Jessica ain't fat)

To Tori Spelling: Tori who? And get that girl a sandwhich.

To Octomom: Do they accept section 8 loans for million dollar mansions?

To Gwynnie the Poo and Chris Martin, (and you can put this in Goop if you wish): A secret to a happy marriage is to know and be interested in your partner's work. Sorry Chris.

Posted by: hodie | February 20, 2009 10:17 AM | Report abuse

Hey, doc, could you weigh in (groan) on the following exchange which occurred on Celebritology late in the afternoon yesterday? Thanks!


Nosy
ep and Californian, I also wonder whether Octomom committed fraud in getting insurance money for her supposed back trouble, which didn't keep her from carrying around eight fetuses.

epjd
...ONE baby is tough on the back. Eight would be killing you. There is no way she could stand upright like that picture showed. Besides, don't most multiples wind up on bed rest? Hodie????????

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:23 AM | Report abuse

"If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, I don't think she'll be so quick to say no. After all, it's one of her life-long dreams to see George Clooney cry."

Posted by: byoolin1 | February 20, 2009 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Don't know the specifics of the case or what actually the money was for. She could have received settlement because she was injured, that didn't specify that the injury was permanent. If she is receiving "disability" payments currently d/t back problems, then I would agree there is some fraud involved. She is obviously not disabled (physically that is).

Posted by: hodie | February 20, 2009 10:31 AM | Report abuse

I don't know why I'm surprised at Octomom, but it's appalling.

Seriously, woman, if you're going to shop for a million-dollar house, at least find one that has more than four bedrooms.

Posted by: surlychick | February 20, 2009 10:41 AM | Report abuse

byoolin
"After all, it's one of her life-long dreams to see George Clooney cry."

You must be thinking of Barbara Walters.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 10:45 AM | Report abuse

Mel Gibson's new movie "is centered on a veteran homicide detective for the Boston Police Dept. whose only child is murdered on the steps of his home."

Nice cheery plotline, Mel. Sort of a Lethal Weapon Meets Mystic River thing. Will it be in Aramaic? Or will your Boston accent also require subtitles?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 9:46 AM

Paging "Cheers", "St. Elsewhere" and Denny Crane!

Posted by: jezebel3 | February 20, 2009 10:45 AM | Report abuse

In other news, a woman in Kansas City, MO, has the World's Baddest Hair Weave. It's literally bulletproof!

http://www.kctv5.com/news/18750792/detail.html

Memo to Jessica Simpson: get your marketing people on this NOW.

Posted by: northgs | February 20, 2009 10:50 AM | Report abuse

I don't know why I'm surprised at Octomom, but it's appalling.

Seriously, woman, if you're going to shop for a million-dollar house, at least find one that has more than four bedrooms.

Posted by: surlychick | February 20, 2009 10:41 AM

EITM reported that it was for a Dr. Phil interview...Just about as bad.

Posted by: DLC1220 | February 20, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Excellent Oscar bingo cards. Thanks, Liz.

Posted by: lolyla | February 20, 2009 10:53 AM | Report abuse

Danica Patrick comment: Oh, snap!

Posted by: lolyla | February 20, 2009 10:54 AM | Report abuse

Ann Coulter interview: I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Posted by: lolyla | February 20, 2009 10:56 AM | Report abuse

"After all, it's one of her life-long dreams to see George Clooney cry."

From grief, relief, or sheer hilarity? You may have stumbled onto something here byoolin; Coulter might be able to kill George Clooney by making him laugh so hard he strokes out.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | February 20, 2009 11:00 AM | Report abuse

For anyone wanting to emulate Liz' Oscar party by serving Red Velvet Cupcakes:
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/mighty-appetite/2007/02/red_velvet_valentine_bride.html

I wonder if the batter would also bake up well as a jelly roll cake, with the Cream Cheese Frosting as a filling instead, sort of like a rolled-up red carpet (although I'm not sure about the health safety of using two ounces of red food coloring; maybe beet juice would make a healthful alternative?).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 11:03 AM | Report abuse

But shouldn't credit for the Oscar bingo cards go to that poster from yesterday? Wasn't it his/her idea?

From the looks of Rihanna's photo, it was much more than a little scuffle. Wow.

Posted by: Georgetown1 | February 20, 2009 11:05 AM | Report abuse

How about red velvet cake balls?

http://bakerella.blogspot.com/2007/12/red-velvet-cake-balls.html

Posted by: surlychick | February 20, 2009 11:16 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, you no longer need to worry about red food coloring. It is all vegetable based now. Now the fat and calories in red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting may be another story. But please, save me one! Yum!

Posted by: hodie | February 20, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

hodie
fat and calories

Shhhh! If we don't discuss them, then maybe they won't be there.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 11:20 AM | Report abuse

I'm pleased to hear that Ann Coulter prefers to date within her species. Ann, I have a couple of hot dating prospects for you:

http://www.monstersinmotion.com/catalog/images/predator/alien18neca.jpg

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/10/26/alien-predator-hybrid.jpg

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 20, 2009 11:28 AM | Report abuse

Nosy,
I have heard that if you drink diet Coke with anything, it cancels out the calories. Need proof? Try them with Mentos!

Posted by: hodie | February 20, 2009 11:29 AM | Report abuse

Two comments on Ann Coulter passing on the Clooney:
1. Don't worry Ann, he would pass on you too. You're too old.
2. Proof that Ann is not a real woman. No real woman passes on the Clooney.

Danica Patrick, the age difference between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is not that much. If, it is due to an obessesion with Angelina that you want her to play you, please contact the OctoMom for the right away to go about that.

Posted by: epjd | February 20, 2009 11:29 AM | Report abuse

ep, I looked at the purported Rihanna photo linked above, and if it's authentic then she's nothing less than the victim of a felonious assault. If my theory's correct, can Chris Brown be prosecuted even without Rihanna filing a complaint, or even if she retracts it (I heard an unreliable report this AM that they might be back together already).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 11:34 AM | Report abuse

Mentos. Ha! 14 Mentos + 1 two-liter Diet Pepsi = wonderful geyser / explosion. They sell Mentos in clear plastic tubes so you can set it up to drop the Mentos and then run. Seconds of low-cost fun! Best done outside!

Oh, and if you don't want to make those red velvet cupcakes, go to Food Lion. They sell a great red-velvet twinkie-kinda thing in the Hostess section but it's a different manufacturer (Blue Bunny?). Mmm mmm, good.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 11:44 AM | Report abuse

hodie, I think drinking Diet Coke with Mentos might cancel out not only the calories, but most of one's upper gastrointestinal tract.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | February 20, 2009 11:49 AM | Report abuse

Nosy, sadly, in this country, when it is between a couple, it is DV or nothing. Yep, if you assault a complete stranger, itis treated as an assault and you are charged accordingly. But, if you assault your partner, it goes into another category and that is ALL that is charged.

I don't know about CA, but in some states, a DV prosecution can be brought even if the complaining victim backs out. However, it is a lot harder to prove. When Warren Moon allegedly assaulted his wife, she tried to drop the charges. The DA went forward anyway. The wife got on the stand and lied about what happened to protect him. Yeah, its perjury, but no one is going to prosecute a real DV victim for perjury. If Rihanna does forgive him, there goes the prosecution.

Posted by: epjd | February 20, 2009 11:51 AM | Report abuse

Out of respect to Rihanna and her family, washingtonpost.com should REMOVE the alleged picture of her.

Posted by: zeynab80 | February 20, 2009 11:55 AM | Report abuse

ep
The wife got on the stand and lied about what happened to protect him.

What about if there are photos? Does the victim just claim the injuries were from a fall, or a slamming door? What if she told doctors and nurses the truth when she initially went for treatment? Can't she be charged with perjury in the face of evidence?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 11:59 AM | Report abuse

zeynab80
Out of respect to Rihanna and her family, washingtonpost.com should REMOVE the alleged picture of her.

Nonsense! That would be out of protection for the batterer.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

She can be charged with perjury. However, it is a policy decision. This woman is already a victim, you don't want to punish her further. She is fearful of what her batterer may do if she tells the truth. She may be unable to support herself without her batterer's income so being beat up is better than being in a shelter.

The average number of times a victim of DV leaves her (using her since most victims are female, but there are male victims) batterer before finally doing it for good is 7 times. That means she takes him back 6 times before she has enough. The DA knows this and chooses to focus on getting her help rather than victimizing her further.

Please, if you are a victim of domestic violence, get help. Tell a friend, tell a co-worker, tell the police. There are resources to help you.


--------
All right, lets cheer things up here. Can I have some of those velvet cake thingies?

Amy Winehouse shopping for home in Caribbean? Suddenly "sold" signs appear on every home on the market -- despite the bad economy.

Posted by: epjd | February 20, 2009 12:08 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the serious stuff, ep.

On a lighter note, my virtual Red Velvet Cupcakes for Oscar night will be fat- and calorie-free. Promise!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 12:12 PM | Report abuse

1. Drinking Diet Coke w/Mentos would give a whole new meaning to the term "projectile vomiting."

2. The one time I let myself think of Ann Coulter in the sack, the only image I got was of Linda Blair during one of her possession scenes in "The Exorcist." Lots of spinning hair and split pea soup.

Anybody got brain bleach? Please pass it my way.

Posted by: memphis1 | February 20, 2009 12:23 PM | Report abuse

Oh - Violet's shoes?

BOTH of my nieces - a decade apart - had a thing for the Ruby Slippers and the Wizard of Oz in general when they were that age. I didn't even notice them ;)

Posted by: Chasmosaur1 | February 20, 2009 9:53 AM


At 41 I STILL have a thing for those ruby slippers & the next time I'm in Target & they have my size...they will be mine...oh yes...theywillbeMIIIINEE!!

Cause I can wear kid sized shoes & that's the only sizes I've ever seen 'em in.

Posted by: wadejg | February 20, 2009 12:24 PM | Report abuse

Red velvet cakes have balls?

Posted by: jaybbub | February 20, 2009 12:29 PM | Report abuse

Lizards, please join me in sending out the Friday love to The Swayze!

Posted by: jaybbub | February 20, 2009 12:31 PM | Report abuse

Love that the link on Octomom describes her as what she is: "state supported mother of fourteen". LOL.

I looked at before-and-after pictures of that nutbag yesterday and she has most definitely gotten that face through surgery. And IS trying to look like Angelina, no question.

The mom has said Octomom needs to get her own house, so I'm guessing the foreclosure thing is a deliberate way for her to get bailed out and somehow "move up". Wouldn't surprise me AT ALL.

I think Michelle Obama just has a normal woman's body.

Yep, Ann C. definitely has the face she deserves. Ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside.

Posted by: Californian11 | February 20, 2009 12:34 PM | Report abuse

With all the Ann C. snark, I'm wondering if the trivia on Wikipedia today is a coincidence:

"Assassin bug: An assassin bug belonging to the Reduviidae family of insects. A predatory insect so named because of its tendency to wait in ambush for its prey, the assassin bug uses its long rostrum to inject a lethal saliva that liquefies the insides of the prey, which are then sucked out."

Posted by: Californian11 | February 20, 2009 12:37 PM | Report abuse

Another celeb who I think is trying to look like Angelina is Vanessa Ferlito. After I saw "Nothing Like the Holidays" and cringed every time I looked at what was once a cute woman who has been ruined by plastic surgery, the too-small nose (with crooked nostrils of 2 different sizes) and too-ginormous lips were a dead giveaway. I don't get it. If you are a celeb and your plastic surgery goes awry, why wouldn't you have it fixed?

Posted by: Californian11 | February 20, 2009 12:39 PM | Report abuse

I'm wondering how many levels of Rihanna's medical and legal privacy were violated with the release of that photo?

Posted by: jaybbub | February 20, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

jaybbub
Lizards, please join me in sending out the Friday love to The Swayze!

Certainly! And likewise to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, also battling pancreatic cancer, if it's not too disrespectful to term a Supreme Court Justice a celebrity. After all, she and a couple other justices (Bryer or Scalia, I think, and of course Rehnquist) appeared onstage at the KenCen as extras in a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta a few years back.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 12:40 PM | Report abuse

Dana Milbank and several of his chatters are currently defending snark, at:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/02/20/DI2009022001074.html

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 12:46 PM | Report abuse

Ann Coulter took time for a premature rejection of George Clooney when there was a 9/11 Widow she could have been dissing? What in the name of Fox *Fair and Balanced* has the world come to?

Posted by: jes11 | February 20, 2009 12:50 PM | Report abuse

I love how people go to thinks like Milbank's chat and here to complain we aren't serious enough. Umm, YOU have so much time away from serious things to click a link (or two), then write a comment? The monitor your comments to see if we have given up our evil ways?

Posted by: epjd | February 20, 2009 1:00 PM | Report abuse

ep, I think sometimes snark is the only thing that keeps us sane in a world full of celebs, pols (as if there's always a difference), et al.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 1:05 PM | Report abuse

Oh my goodness, did anyone else catch Harrison Ford's t-shirt in that picture? It was made for him for Father's Day by Callista's son. Adorable. Just get married already!!

Loving all the Coulter snark-- I hate that guy. Truly can't be a woman if s/he wouldn't go for Clooney. Aren't ultra-freaky conservatives all abstinent if they are not married anyway?

Posted by: msame | February 20, 2009 1:08 PM | Report abuse

"Aren't ultra-freaky conservatives all abstinent if they are not married anyway?"

Hahahahahahaha. That's a good one. They are always the ones having affairs, illegitimate children, mistresses, prostitutes, et al. "Those who yell the loudest have the most to hide"

Posted by: Californian11 | February 20, 2009 1:16 PM | Report abuse

nope liz...that's DEF. KEENAN IVORY WAYANS...I'm pretty sure :-( srry

Posted by: CAColeman1 | February 20, 2009 1:18 PM | Report abuse

Must they refer to Liam as Calista's Flockhart's "adopted son"? Does that make him quantitatively different than "any other kind of son"? That always seems to weird to me.

Posted by: jaybbub | February 20, 2009 1:18 PM | Report abuse

Yeah, it is Keenan. Too tall for Damon.

"Must they refer to Liam as Calista's Flockhart's 'adopted son'?" --jaybub

Don't get me started on this one, lest I be forced to pound some (more) Diet Coke and Mentos and get into as well the definitions of "real" parent (as opposed to "synthetic"? etc.). Frickin' media makes me crazy. AARGH.

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 2:02 PM | Report abuse

ep, Nosy, and fellow snark devotees-

I submit that there's one big reason people take the time to write in and chide others about "not taking things seriously enough". It's because self-righteousness only functions where there's someone around to applaud your nobility. Otherwise you become one of those bitter, superior recluses who can't stand to mix their intellect with that of the common rabble. Well, that or you start publishing GOOP.

Posted by: Bawlmer51 | February 20, 2009 2:04 PM | Report abuse

Bawlmer51
Well, that or you start publishing GOOP.

SPLOOT! Thanks, Bawlmer. And a lovely weekend to you, too. I'll be spending mine cleaning and drying my keyboard.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

And while we're talking about Ford/Flockhart, what's with the cheesy medal in that first photo? Did Harrison Ford win the Pinewood Derby or place high at a swim meet or something? Austrian royalty costume party? What?

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 2:08 PM | Report abuse

I'm a straight Republican male, but if George Clooney asked me really nicely, who am I to say no?

Posted by: hansenjay | February 20, 2009 2:12 PM | Report abuse

The article about Ford/Flockhart marvels at the length of their relationship. Why so surprised, his last marriage lasted 21 years.

Posted by: jes11 | February 20, 2009 2:15 PM | Report abuse

I'm exercising super-human, nay -- super-power! -- restraint not to post anything with respect to the Mix mention of He Who Shall Not Be Named. I just want y'all to appreciate that.

Nosy, I don't think beet juice belongs anywhere near cupcakes; not even in the same sentence. Not even in the same blog post.

I wish Ann Coulter would just pass on.

I want to be a fat girl just so I can have the peace of mind that comes with the knowledge Richard Simmons is praying for me. 'Cause, you know, his prayers for big boy pants have worked out so well.

jaybub and td, I'm with you on the "adopted son" thing: it's seriously disrespectful.

Posted by: 7900rmc | February 20, 2009 2:17 PM | Report abuse

A (partial?) shortlist of today's Coulter snark:

1) "Never mind having sex with her - how weird would dinner be, when after eating a plateful of worms she attempted to regurgitate some of them into your throat?" --byoolin1

2) "I couldn't keep myself from watching and was utterly revolted by that sallow skin, the drawn lips, the lantern-jaw. The woman's hideous dark soul shows up on her angular, unholy visage." --jelo

3) "[S]he's just gross on every level." --ASinMoCo

4) "If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know to look around for four horsemen and a demon with an ugly forehead tattoo." --northgs

5) "I do, actually, hate her politics and persona. (I don't know her personally, so I can't go so far as to say I hate her, since we know she plays semantic games.)" --Chasmosaur1

6) "[S]he completes the mating act by ripping her partner's head off like a praying mantis." --Bawlmer51

7) "If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, we'll know that Satan's taken to wearing thermal underwear." --Nosy_Parker

8) "AS IF!" --hodie's teenage niece

9) "If the day comes where she ever has to worry about it, I don't think she'll be so quick to say no. After all, it's one of her life-long dreams to see George Clooney cry." --byoolin1

10) "Ann Coulter interview: I just threw up in my mouth a little." --lolyla

11) "Coulter might be able to kill George Clooney by making him laugh so hard he strokes out." --Bawlmer51

12) "I'm pleased to hear that Ann Coulter prefers to date within her species. Ann, I have a couple of hot dating prospects for you:

http://www.monstersinmotion.com/catalog/images/predator/alien18neca.jpg

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/10/26/alien-predator-hybrid.jpg" --sasquatchbigfoot

13) "1. Don't worry Ann, he would pass on you too. You're too old.
2. Proof that Ann is not a real woman. No real woman passes on the Clooney." --epjd

14) "Ann C. definitely has the face she deserves. Ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside." --Californian11

15) "Assassin bug: An assassin bug belonging to the Reduviidae family of insects. A predatory insect so named because of its tendency to wait in ambush for its prey, the assassin bug uses its long rostrum to inject a lethal saliva that liquefies the insides of the prey, which are then sucked out." --Californian11

16) "Ann Coulter took time for a premature rejection of George Clooney when there was a 9/11 Widow she could have been dissing? What in the name of Fox *Fair and Balanced* has the world come to?" --jes11

17) "Loving all the Coulter snark-- I hate that guy. Truly can't be a woman if s/he wouldn't go for Clooney. Aren't ultra-freaky conservatives all abstinent if they are not married anyway?" --msame

18) "I wish Ann Coulter would just pass on." --7900rmc

Posted by: td_in_baltimore | February 20, 2009 2:43 PM | Report abuse

I'm late to the party, so thanks td for the excellent summary of the hideous Coulter android. Utterly hilarious that she would pass on GC. GC would probably commit hari kari before being forced into the same room with that creature much less the same bed. *shudder* the image is just revolting.

Tori Spelling needs to get over herself. Sheesh. A Z-list celebrity throwing a diva hissy fit.

Adorable Violet--I agree, she looks just like her mom!

I'm with the rest of you on Danica Patrick. Ho hum. Not A-list worthy by any stretch. She's another diva. And an idiot. (If I see one more highlight clip of her angrily stomping down pit row to confront another driver like she's going to fight him I'll barf). And what the hell makes a 36 year old more "age appropriate" to play a 20-something than a 40 year old? Idiot.

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | February 20, 2009 3:06 PM | Report abuse

7900rmc won't want to look at these alternative red chocolate cake recipes (which I haven't tried), but maybe other Lizards-who-bake will want to try one:

http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/dessert/recipe-velvety-beet-and-cocoa-cake-021787 (I'd use only 2 Tablespoons of cocoa, however)

http://homecooking.about.com/od/dessertrecipes/r/blc125.htm

http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/dessert/recipe-velvety-beet-and-cocoa-cake-021787

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 3:38 PM | Report abuse

Oops! Third recipe should be:
http://jugalbandi.info/2009/01/beet-chocolate-cake-vegan

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 3:40 PM | Report abuse

I have missed my daily visits. But I when it comes to Ann Coutler, I just cannot resist:

If she would shut up, she would realize that some (many) people really do hate her. I don't know her, but based on what comes out of her mouth, I don't think I want to.

I would however like to see her on Celebrity Rehab - there has to be some treatment for her obnoxious personality.

Any other suggestions for Ann besides the b!tch slapping that she deserves? We may be able to do a fundraiser if we sell tickets to it.

(For the record, I wouldn't pass on Clooney, or my Friday afternoon mojito.)

Posted by: anonymouslurker | February 20, 2009 3:42 PM | Report abuse

"Loving all the Coulter snark-- I hate that guy. Truly can't be a woman if s/he wouldn't go for Clooney. Aren't ultra-freaky conservatives all abstinent if they are not married anyway? "


proves it's not human if it won't go for Clooney! Remember the short-lived series "V" where lizard-like aliens disguised themselves as human... it hides a forked tongue!

Posted by: memphis1 | February 20, 2009 3:42 PM | Report abuse

See Oscar Bingo cards here, also:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/02/20/GR2009022001030.html?hpid=topnews

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 3:42 PM | Report abuse

Otherwise you become one of those bitter, superior recluses who can't stand to mix their intellect with that of the common rabble.
Bawlmer51
------------------------------------------
Hey!
You!
Get outa my cave!

I said Hey!
You! Get outa my cave!

------------------------------------------
Any other suggestions for Ann besides the b!tch slapping that she deserves?
anonymous lurker

------------------------------------------
I think Chris Brown is available for a date. Chris might hit it off -- so to speak -- with Ann Coulter.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 20, 2009 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Yo, celebritologists! Y'all are still here, and you're still funny! (It's the poster formerly known as epony, if anyone remembers. Sniff.)

"15) "Assassin bug: An assassin bug belonging to the Reduviidae family of insects. A predatory insect so named because of its tendency to wait in ambush for its prey, the assassin bug uses its long rostrum to inject a lethal saliva that liquefies the insides of the prey, which are then sucked out." --Californian11"

Yeah, umm, I can imagine a particular intimate act that might fit this scenario. It would be like a Steven King novel. Maybe King can title his next one "Ann Coulter".

Posted by: trichobezoar | February 20, 2009 4:28 PM | Report abuse

Sas
I think Chris Brown is available for a date. Chris might hit it off -- so to speak -- with Ann Coulter.

Oh Sas, dear, I never imagined I could think of any scenario that would cause me to come to Coulter's defense, but this may be it.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 4:29 PM | Report abuse

Yo, epony! Oooh, I said "pony"!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 4:31 PM | Report abuse

hey epony, love the new pseudonym. But why did you name yourself hairball?

Posted by: hodie | February 20, 2009 4:40 PM | Report abuse

Well, one thing about that picture of Rhianna--it'll put the apologists for Chris Brown out of business.

Hey epony! Where've you been?

Posted by: sorcerers_cat | February 20, 2009 4:41 PM | Report abuse

hodie, the name is a bit difficult to explain, but came from a deep longing for a really spectacular bladder stone from a dog. I mean, it was the size and shape of an avocado - who wouldn't want a stone like that on his/her desk? It was but a short hop from cystic calculi to trichobezoars. And the log in name is from way before we had to long in here. I'm not computer savvy enough to create another WaPo log in.

Anyone else think maybe the snarker on Milbank's chat was being funny/ironic? The post city was Chicago, for pete's sake.

Posted by: trichobezoar | February 20, 2009 4:49 PM | Report abuse

Oh Sas, dear, I never imagined I could think of any scenario that would cause me to come to Coulter's defense, but this may be it.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 4:29 PM

-------------------------------------------

Nosy, we have Chris Brown versus the Assassin Bug. I think Chris would be in deep trouble in this Three Rounder.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 20, 2009 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Sas:
Assassin bug, nature, just doin' what comes natcherly.

Chris Brown, nurture, learned behavior that needs to be unlearned.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 4:59 PM | Report abuse

Oh Sas, dear, I never imagined I could think of any scenario that would cause me to come to Coulter's defense, but this may be it.

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 4:29 PM

Maybe we could reanimate Travis the Chimp?

Posted by: jes11 | February 20, 2009 5:03 PM | Report abuse

jes11
SPLOOT!

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 5:05 PM | Report abuse

At 41 I STILL have a thing for those ruby slippers & the next time I'm in Target & they have my size...they will be mine...oh yes...theywillbeMIIIINEE!!

Cause I can wear kid sized shoes & that's the only sizes I've ever seen 'em in.

Posted by: wadejg | February 20, 2009 12:24 PM

___________________

I am the SAME way! I go to the American History Musuem just to say hi to the originals!

Posted by: suzannepdc | February 20, 2009 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Liz,

Re: Chris Brown

Thank you again for shining the spotlight on a very serious issue.

Fellow Celebers:

Thank you for proving we aren't shallow when the rubber hits the road. Spousal/dating or any other kind of abuse should never be winked at or tolerated.

Posted by: jezebel3 | February 20, 2009 5:10 PM | Report abuse

Maybe we could reanimate Travis the Chimp?

Posted by: jes11 | February 20, 2009 5:03 PM
---------------------------------------------
Okay. That takes care of Chris Brown.

We're left with Ann Assassin Bug Coulter, OctoMom, Kanye West, Mel Gibson, Tori Spelling, LiLo, Victoria Skeleboobs Beckham, Amy Winhouse and Gwynnie the Poo.

As for the Oscar telecast, I'd rather watch paint dry. So I will. I'll paint some of the rooms in our under-renovation condo, then sit back with a cold one and watch the paint dry. I'm sure any Kate Winslet emotional meltdown will appear on YouTube the next day.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | February 20, 2009 5:13 PM | Report abuse

Sas, you don't worry that Ann Coulter might be toxic to the Assassin Bug?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | February 20, 2009 5:25 PM | Report abuse

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