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Posted at 8:33 AM ET, 03/13/2009

Anna Nicole Smith Ex Charged; Aniston and Mayer Reportedly Split Again

By Liz Kelly

Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe attends the Louis Vuitton Ready-to-Wear A/W 2009 fashion show on Thursday during Paris Fashion Week. (Getty Images)
Friday

Crime Watch: Lawyer/boyfriend Howard K. Stern and doctors charged with illegally medicating Anna Nicole Smith... David Hasselhoff ex Pamela Bach arrested for DUI.

Headlines: Daniel Radcliffe, Miley Cyrus top Forbes list of bankable young stars... Sting becomes a vintner... George Clooney, Julianna Margulies and Noah Wyle make return visit to "ER"... Tyra Banks opens up to Oprah about abusive ex-boyfriend... Michael Phelps apologizes for smoking pot... "Bachelor" rejectee Melissa Rycroft reveals new boyfriend... Jonas Brothers releasing a line of clothing for tween girls... Andre Benjamin says it's hard being a straight black fashion designer... Drew Barrymore won't direct third "Twilight" installment... Robert Pattinson says he took valium ahead of "Twilight" audition... "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan becomes a U.S. citizen... One-time call girl Ashlee Dupree says she's getting spiritual help from Russell Simmons... Lindsay Lohan settles suit over pilfered fur.

Pix & Vid: Joaquin Phoenix (staged?) Miami stage fracas video... Lily Allen goes gray... Robert Pattinson GQ shoot.

Rumor Mill: Even People believes Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have split again... Britney Spears secretly dating talent agent?; ex Adnan Ghalib faces possible deportation... Mary J. Blige, Clay Aiken and Elvis Costello set for "30 Rock" cameos (second item)... Lilo and Samantha Ronson take their spat to Las Vegas... Keira Knightley passes on fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

Say What?
"Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian." -- Kelly Clarkson sets the record straight.

By Liz Kelly  | March 13, 2009; 8:33 AM ET
Categories:  Daily Mix  
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Next: Hollywood Intervention: Nipping the Next Lilo in the Bud

Comments

Pamela Bach DUI: I'd be drinkin' too, if I let The Hoff slip through my fingers.


"Sting becomes a vintner" is a nice improvement over "Sting is a wanker."


Why Jen & John broke up:
JENNIFER: It is *too*!
JOHN: It is *not*!
JENNIFER: It is *too*!
JOHN: No! Just because you're naked, talking and crying about Brad Pitt for twenty minutes is *NOT* foreplay!


"Adnan Ghalib faces possible deportation." Good. Send 'em all back where they came from. (Where *do* bidniss managers come from, anyway?)


Keira Knightley's role in "PotC IV" will be played by an actual skeleton this time around.

Posted by: byoolin1 | March 13, 2009 9:12 AM | Report abuse

For more Jonas Bros. hilarity, watch the newest epi of South Park. The full episodes are free on Comedy Central's website. Essentially, Disney uses Jonas Bros. to sell sex to little girls. If they start selling a line of girls underwear, we'll know for sure. Bay-bay!

Posted by: jelo | March 13, 2009 9:24 AM | Report abuse

I don't want to preempt Jaybub's weekly shoutout to the Swayze, but Liz, I can't believe you didn't have an item on Patrick Swayze's new puppy! It's a 12-week-old Rhodesian Ridgeback named Kumasai.

Even the Baltimore Sun got that story. Maybe you could link to it, since the WaPo and the Sun are officially now sharing content. Sorry, I don't have a photo of the puppy.

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | March 13, 2009 9:30 AM | Report abuse

Bmore Cat, Liz scooped them a couple days ago. Patrick mentioned the puppy in an earlier article in which he claimed he was not dying.

Yeah, I believe now(or at least I really want to) that the Joaquin Phoenix krazar bit is completely an act. Saw on one of the Hollywood rag shows that it is a publicity stunt for an upcoming Mockumentry. Wow, he sure had us fooled.

Coming to a city near you, Sam vs Lilo, for the featherweight(featherbrain) championship.

Could the Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer breakup have anything to do with the big fight Brangelina had recently? mmmmmm?

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 9:45 AM | Report abuse

jelo is dead on - the assault on 'the mouse' by trey and matt was spectacular. about time someone called them on it.

Posted by: quintiliusvarus | March 13, 2009 9:48 AM | Report abuse

One should never fear to preempt the shout-out to The Swayze! Any and all lurve that we can send to him is good thing. :)

Posted by: jaybbub | March 13, 2009 10:07 AM | Report abuse

"Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian." -- Kelly Clarkson sets the record straight."

Oh. My. God. I'm a lesbian! That explains my crush on Rachel Maddow.


"One-time call girl Ashlee Dupree says she's getting spiritual help from Russell Simmons..."

Ashlee, "spritual help" is just code for getting it for free.

Posted by: milesdy | March 13, 2009 10:11 AM | Report abuse

And while we're on the topic of The Swayze (and shouldn't we always be?), how can you not love a guy who says this while he's fighting a deadly cancer: "I have so much to be thankful for at this time" and "There are so many positive things going on in my life right now".

Rock on, Patrick.

And let's see some pics of the pooch.

Posted by: jaybbub | March 13, 2009 10:12 AM | Report abuse

Now, back to our regularly scheduled snark. I'll say it again - that "Rachel Zoe" thing is scaaaaary.

For someone who was addicted to "ER" many eons ago, it's amazing how little I care about Clooney et al. returning.

And may I say to Keira, us too, honey, we're happy to pass on that movie.

Over and out!

Posted by: jaybbub | March 13, 2009 10:14 AM | Report abuse

Poor Andre 3000 -- his sexual orientation is an obstacle to his fashion career. Perhaps he needs to follow the Jonas Brothers lead and distribute his wares through the Disney Consumer Products line. Then he'd have "the whole hearthrob play" and it could actually work out as a way to for him to pick up chicks.

Posted by: 44west | March 13, 2009 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Keira Knightley to be replaced in the next installment of Pirates of the Caribbean by Rachel Zoe, but as you can see from the above photo, she had to bulk up to play the role.

Posted by: MStreet1 | March 13, 2009 10:33 AM | Report abuse

According to the Wiki, Sting is a vegetarian. What is he doing making salami in Tuscany?

Whatever. I look forward to having a nice glass of "Message in a Bottle."

Poor, poor, Andre (3000) Benjamin. It's hard out there for a straight, male designer. Worse if you're African American. I mean, gee, look at P Diddy Dummy, suffering so.

And I think the US made out very well in the last immigration trade deal. We got a nice dog trainer in exchange for a scummy agent or whatever the hell Adnan claims to be.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 10:46 AM | Report abuse

Ashlee, "spritual help" is just code for getting it for free.

Posted by: milesdy | March 13, 2009 10:11 AM

I gotta get me some of that!

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 13, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

I'm a little dim this morning. I don't get the "Lily Allen goes grey" reference. Yes, she was getting her hair done, but I don't think she's covering grey hair. And it looks already covered in this picture. Yes, she's wearing grey, but in this country, we don't usually refer to wearing grey as "going grey."

I'm confused.

I'm also very scared to click on the "BUY THIS LOOK" button. The last thing I need is an ill-fitting grey tee-shirt, bright blue Elton John shades, LiLo leggings, ripped denim shorts and Wellies.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 10:51 AM | Report abuse

Yeah, the 'going grey' was a little oblique.

Don't you just love the DailyMail.co.uk? I can get lost on that site for hours.

Posted by: BMore_Cat_Lover1 | March 13, 2009 10:56 AM | Report abuse

According to the Wiki, Sting is a vegetarian. What is he doing making salami in Tuscany?

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 10:46 AM

Say what?

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 13, 2009 10:57 AM | Report abuse

The words "Britney Spears" and "talent" don't belong in the same sentence.

Posted by: newengland1 | March 13, 2009 11:01 AM | Report abuse

I too was an ER addict years ago. If I saw the 45 second open I couldn't go to sleep until the show was over. Last night I only watched to see Dr. Doug Ross and Dr. Benton and I was pleasantly surprised. Of course it helps that the Clooney and Eric LaSalle are both very easy on the eyes.

Posted by: jes11 | March 13, 2009 11:17 AM | Report abuse

Is "making salami in Tuscany" a euphemism for, uh, something?

If it isn't, it should be.

Posted by: jaybbub | March 13, 2009 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Hooray for Cesar. Thanks to you, thousands of dogs are now in a calm, submissive state. For another great South Park episode, watch season 10's "Tsst!" episode when "Cesar" works his magic on Cartman.

Word up, Kelly Clarkson. I'm horrible at dating and enjoy just hanging out with my dog. Plus, chicks are crazy. I could never be a lesbian.

Other than that, happy Friday you lovely Lizards! :)

Posted by: eet7e | March 13, 2009 11:23 AM | Report abuse

If Sting is looking for a live-in wine and produce quality assurance person, I'm available. And I'll work for room and board only. Sting, baby, you had me at "sixteenth-century Tuscan villa."

Posted by: northgs | March 13, 2009 11:58 AM | Report abuse

If Sting is looking for a live-in wine and produce quality assurance person, I'm available. And I'll work for room and board only. Sting, baby, you had me at "sixteenth-century Tuscan villa."

Posted by: northgs | March 13, 2009 11:58 AM


What about the salami?

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 13, 2009 12:01 PM | Report abuse

It never crossed my mind that Kelly Clarkson might be a lesbian until she denied it.

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 13, 2009 12:06 PM | Report abuse

I too was an ER addict years ago. If I saw the 45 second open I couldn't go to sleep until the show was over.
Posted by: jes11 | March 13, 2009 11:17 AM
=====
You've given me an opportunity to discuss my big PET PEEVE about ER. Within the first 45 seconds, almost to a show, someone is shouting "CLEAR!" and using the paddles to get a heart started.

Come ON. I've been big city hospital emergency rooms a few times myself. Spent a whole afternoon in the Geo Wash ER once. Never saw paddles being used. Saw a drug addled woman start throwing all kinds of medical equipment around. Saw a gunshot victim come in and orderlies have to restrain crazed family members. Me? I was heaving my lunch and every other meal I ever ate on the floor until someone gave me a wastebasket.

But every week, ER opens with the paddles. Far more interesting things happen that don't involve the damn paddles.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 12:15 PM | Report abuse

mdreader, my first reaction to the mention of paddles on ER was to think of the other kind, but then I realized I had it mixed up with Grey's Anatomy. Guess the paddles are to ER what "We're out of time!" is to 24.

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 13, 2009 12:23 PM | Report abuse

All, we must consider the possibility that Joaq Job is acting crazy for his b-i-l, but is also really crazy. Kind of like being paranoid, but people really are out to get you.

It's hard to believe Sting would have to go all the way to Tuscany to play "hide the salami." (That's an old euphemism for bag the viper.)

Posted by: reddragon1 | March 13, 2009 12:32 PM | Report abuse

What about the salami?

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 13, 2009 12:01 PM

---------------------------------------------
Jez, if you ask Sting nicely, maybe he'll hide it on you.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Michael Phelps apologizes for smoking pot...

But did he do the polite thing and offer Matt Lauer a hit? No, he did not.

Michael Phelps needs to learn some manners and stop Bogarting that joint.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 12:37 PM | Report abuse

"Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian." -- Kelly Clarkson sets the record straight.
====
But, according to Andre (3000) Benjamin, if you were, and you were black, and a guy, you'd have a much easier time as a clothes designer.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 12:38 PM | Report abuse

Byoolin notes:

"Sting becomes a vintner" is a nice improvement over "Sting is a wanker."

------------------------------------------
Hmmmmm.....I was under the impression that "vintner" is a euphemism for "wanker." Gives a whole new twist to the question of whether the glass is half-empty or half-full.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 12:39 PM | Report abuse

Wonder what Rachel Anorexic used to cover up the jowls and ever-present big black circles under her eyes? She couldn't possibly have (gasp) eaten something.

"spiritual help"? Is that what they call it?

Celebs + clothing lines have become as ubiquitous as Jen + John's breakups. Stop the insanity!!

Posted by: Californian11 | March 13, 2009 12:41 PM | Report abuse

"Just because I'm single and don't date a lot, that doesn't make me a lesbian." -- Kelly Clarkson"

This is very true. It is her love of women that makes her a lesbian.

Posted by: adbspam | March 13, 2009 12:44 PM | Report abuse

Wasn't Sting a proponent a few years back of Tantric salami making? Like, salami, salami, salami, 24 hours a day? That's a lot of processed meat products.

Posted by: trichobezoar | March 13, 2009 12:46 PM | Report abuse

mdreader, I've seen and used the paddles in the er but I agree with you overall about the way overdone dramatization. (I hate medical dramas) I liked ER when it first started but I refused to watch it again after Dr. Green did the cesarean section in the er. That would never, ever, ever happen in real life. Trust me on that.-Hodie, MD.

P.S. House is equally improbable in their medical scenarios but I love it anyway because of House's expert snark, so I give that one a pass.

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 12:46 PM | Report abuse

P.S. House is equally improbable in their medical scenarios but I love it anyway because of House's expert snark, so I give that one a pass.

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 12:46 PM
-------------------------------------------
Hodie, isn't Hugh Laurie's snark the principal reason people watch "House"?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 12:49 PM | Report abuse


Wasn't Sting a proponent a few years back of Tantric salami making? Like, salami, salami, salami, 24 hours a day? That's a lot of processed meat products.

Posted by: trichobezoar | March 13, 2009 12:46 PM


" salami, salami, salami, 24 hours a day?"

Oh, no... There goes my afternoon.

Posted by: jezebel3 | March 13, 2009 12:56 PM | Report abuse

Hodie, isn't Hugh Laurie's snark the principal reason people watch "House"?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 12:49 PM

Absolutely, you said that so much better than I.

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 1:02 PM | Report abuse

Hodie, I am so glad to hear that disastrous C-section would never happen in real life. Dang, that episode was brutal.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 13, 2009 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Wasn't Sting a proponent a few years back of Tantric salami making? Like, salami, salami, salami, 24 hours a day? That's a lot of processed meat products.

Posted by: trichobezoar | March 13, 2009 12:46 PM

As any Italian will tell you, good salami takes time.

Posted by: northgs | March 13, 2009 2:04 PM | Report abuse

but Californian, I can tell you stories from real life experience that are just as weird and dramatic. I have seen a C-section done under local! How horrible is that!

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 2:19 PM | Report abuse

All that talk about Sting and his salami made me seek out a leftover slice of pepperoni pizza for lunch.

For the record, that does not make me a lesbian.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 2:43 PM | Report abuse

hodie
I have seen a C-section done under local!

Did you ever read about how the New York Times' James "Scotty" Reston had to have an emergency appendectomy in China in the early 1970s with only acupuncture for anesthesia?

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 13, 2009 2:46 PM | Report abuse

Oh. My. God. Should I put something in my wallet with my driver's license that says "If I ever have to be taken to a hospital, anaesthetize me before doing anything"?

Putting it in my medical directive or living trust may be too late. They may have already cut off my leg under local or something.

Posted by: Californian11 | March 13, 2009 3:03 PM | Report abuse

Oops, not quite. Checking the article I found, in part:

...with the assistance of 11 of the leading medial specialists in Peking, who were asked by Premier Chou En-lai to cooperate on the case, Prof. Wu Wei-jan of the Anti-Imperialist Hospital's surgical staff removed my appendix on July 17 after a normal injection of Xylocain and Bensocain, which anesthetized the middle of my body.

There were no complications, nausea or vomiting. I was conscious throughout, followed the instructions of Professor Wu as translated to me by Ma Yu-chen of the Chinese Foreign Ministry during the operation, and was back in my bedroom in the hospital in two and a half hours.

However, I was in considerable discomfort if not pain during the second night after the operation, and Li Chang-yuan, doctor of acupuncture at the hospital, with my approval, inserted three long thin needles into the outer part of my right elbow and below my knees and manipulated them in order to stimulate the intestine and relieve the pressure and distension of the stomach...

New York Times, Monday July 26, 1971

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 13, 2009 3:04 PM | Report abuse

Reston, James, "Now, About My Operation in Peking", New York Times, July 26, 1971.

Yes, young Lizards, Beijing used to be spelled Peking (like the duck).

Posted by: Nosy_Parker | March 13, 2009 3:07 PM | Report abuse

I think that's a huge part of it for me ... I DON'T WANT TO BE CONSCIOUS! I don't want to know/hear/see/smell what they are doing. Knock me out so I know/remember nothing.

-Californian the wimp, who had generals for both wisdom teeth and a tooth extraction!

Posted by: Californian11 | March 13, 2009 3:10 PM | Report abuse

The reason the c-section was done under local was b/c the anesthesiologist could not be reached (podunk hospital) and it was an emergency. Was gonna lose Mom and Baby if not done. Real Drama. That anesthesiologist got his a$$ sued off .

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 3:16 PM | Report abuse

That anesthesiologist got his a$$ sued off .

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 3:16 PM

----------------------------------------
What did the anesthesiologist s(h)it on?

Or did s/he get his/her rear end re-attached?

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 3:28 PM | Report abuse

Now see if it were me, I'd want the local so I could watch.

"Oh my god, that's my spleen*?? How cool is that?"

(*insert appropriate organ visualized during procedure)

I was disappointed that I got general anesthesia when the broken bits of finger were bolted back together.

Posted by: trichobezoar | March 13, 2009 3:33 PM | Report abuse

I double-dare you to ask for a local if you ever need a cervical spine fusion. You'll get to watch them come right at your throat with implements of destruction.

Posted by: sasquatchbigfoot | March 13, 2009 3:37 PM | Report abuse

Ugh. All this talk of surgery. Just gimme drugs! I had the opportunity to observe my cats being spayed (kitty hysterectomies), and all I can say is ewwww. I am definitely more squeamish than I thought.

Posted by: northgs | March 13, 2009 3:46 PM | Report abuse

lol, trichobezoar. If you see your spleen during a c-section then I would sue your ob!

Posted by: hodie | March 13, 2009 3:50 PM | Report abuse

Put me in the category of folks who, if nothing else is available, would rather be sucker punched until 'lights out' before even sitting in the room next door to any sort of thing involving spleens, knives, or blood...

Posted by: LTL1 | March 13, 2009 4:26 PM | Report abuse

Just gimme drugs!

Posted by: northgs | March 13, 2009 3:46 PM


I want the drugs too! Unlike that wimp Michael Phelps I refuse to apologize for it.

Posted by: jes11 | March 13, 2009 4:54 PM | Report abuse

I was disappointed that I got general anesthesia when the broken bits of finger were bolted back together.
Posted by: trichobezoar | March 13, 2009 3:33 PM
==========
I asked my dermatologist if I could see him remove my melanoma. He replied that he doesn't like patients puking on his instruments. I told him I wouldn't puke, so he let me watch the actual tumor removal. But he wouldn't let me watch the initial cut to my skin. He said that if patients see the cut sometimes their brain fools them into feeling it.

Turns out, those cancerous moles are like icebergs. The mole is only the surface.

I'm ok. Mine was stage IIA, caught early.

Posted by: mdreader01 | March 13, 2009 5:05 PM | Report abuse

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