Clip 'n Save: Lindsay Lohan, Repeat Offender
Update: A judge this morning threw out the warrant after Lohan's counsel reportedly produced evidence of compliance. We stand by our advice, though -- Lilo may have won this battle, but the war is starting to look like a prolonged occupation. -- 12:29 p.m. ET
Lindsay Lohan is facing an arrest warrant for violating the terms of her probation for a 2007 DUI conviction. No official word, but rumor has it the violations include breaching driving restrictions by driving to Las Vegas and missing court-ordered alcohol education classes. Lohan reportedly blames the paparazzi for the latter.
Sometime Celebritology contributor Lisa Todorovich and I are shaking our heads and wondering how it is we failed so badly back in 2006. Lohan was the subject of our very first Clip 'n Save, back in October 2006 and, far from heeding our advice and becoming the Clip 'n Save poster child, she's only gotten worse.
So, back to the drawing board. We've redoubled our efforts. No more gentle prodding. Time for a little tough love. And remember, we snark because we care.
1. First, and most immediately, breaking a window at your girlfriend's house isn't an ideal move within 24 hours of an arrest warrant being issued in your name.
2. Your career isn't exactly gangbusters at this point -- ("Samantha Ronson's sidekick" doesn't really scream A-List), but surely you could have afforded to hire a driver to cart you to Las Vegas. Actually, just hire a driver period.
3. Blaming the paparazzi for missing your alcohol ed classes is like blaming Dr. Ruth for missing your period. No one's buying it, so try taking a little responsibility for your own actions.
4. The top of our list of unacceptable role models: Amy Winehouse; Paris Hilton; your mother; your father.
5. The top of our list of acceptable people from whom to seek Hollywood wisdom and been there, done that advice: Drew Barrymore and Robert Downey Jr. They both paid their dues and came back from the brink. Please note that Jack Nicholson is not among our recommendations.
7. Let's put aside for a second the search for a role model for you. You are a role model. If it's possible to step out of your self-indulgence for just a second, think of the message you're sending, right within your own family.
11. Repeat after us: "I take a pretty mug shot" isn't something you want to put on your resume.
12. Finally: This is boring. Way more boring than "Georgia Rule." Put on some clothes (and some weight), go to college, and do something that's worth paying attention to. People who've burned out rather than faded away make all of us sad -- and then we move on with our lives.
One in an occasional series of how-to articles written with armchair celebrity adviser Lisa Todorovich.
| March 16, 2009; 11:03 AM ET
Categories: Clip N' Saves, Lindsay Lohan
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